(Long Music) #1679 Let Me Bore You To Sleep | 11th September 2026 | Jason Newland

Hello, hello, hello, hello! Welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name is Jason Newland. Hi Vinnie! Hi Vinnie! Welcome.

Vinnie is, yeah, is giving himself a little bath. So that's nice. I'd say it's really weird.

Earlier he went to say hello to one of his friends. One of his friends, right? And he went to sniff underneath the dog and the dog did a wee-wee. And Vinnie did not move his head.

My son is a perv! Vinnie is a pervert! Or just... I don't know. I was going to say horny. So hey, anyway, hey, hi, how, ho, ho! Hello.

Today is Friday the 11th of September 2026. It is 8.45pm. You might be able to hear the fridge in the background. It's been a week now that I've had the fridge and the freezer in here.

I was supposed to be having the kitchen re-nenovated, re-built, refurbished, whatever the correct name is for that particular activity. However, the person that was supposed to come in on Friday was ill, got rushed to hospital with appendicitis. So hopefully he's well and everything.

But I've not heard from them all week so I've got no idea if they're going to send someone else or... I really don't know. And Friday, yes, it's gone now so I won't hear anything till at least Monday anyway now. Which is fine.

It's just, it's a little bit... I can hear it quite loudly. That was quite loud, wasn't it? I can hear it! I can hear it. I have moved the microphone as far away as I can from there.

I mean, normally I'm sitting up at the desk but now I'm literally... whoops! In fact, I can probably get even further away. That's it. So I'm probably about 100 foot away.

No, I'm not. I'm inches, inches, let's say 10 inches, 20 inches, 30 foot. Probably about, I don't know, it's a few foot away from the desk.

And this microphone is only really supposed to pick up what is close to it. Like this. This is what it's supposed to pick up.

Closeness. So yeah, it's been another week. I did do a recording on Wednesday.

Did I say only listen when you can safely close your eyes? If I didn't, then I have now. Trying to think what's happened this week. Not a huge amount, really.

I've still been working on uploading my recording. Well, actually, I'm uploading recordings to the playlists on Spreaker, which will then be available on my new website, which is being in seven days time. So literally, next Friday, it will be released.

So jasonnewland.com, although it's still running. It's a different website, it's still running at the moment. But next Friday, it will be completely transformed, as in what is available on there.

Wow. And it should be, it should be complete. Because I've done a lot, a lot of stuff, especially with the playlists.

So what I've been doing for about three days solid is trying to organize the Let Me Bore You to Sleep recordings. And it's a much bigger task than I thought it would be. So I've got three hard drives, I feel one's five terabytes, you have one's five terabytes, and the other one's three terabytes, something like that.

So four terabytes, I lose track. So I've got 1000s and 1000s and 1000s and 1000s of recordings. Some of them are duplicates.

So I have not gone through to delete the duplicates. So that's that's another thing I need to do. But I think I'll probably do that once the website is published.

Because although the web, the website is actually published, this is available to use, it's just not connected to my domain name, jasonnewland.com. So once I've, I mean, I'm in the process of going through. Okay, I'm trying to explain this. So let's, for example, the Let Me Bore You to Sleep recordings, I've got one all the way up, I've got one to 1700 in groups of 50, you know, so one to 5051 to 100, 101 to 150, etc.

And the last one is 16, 1651 to 1700. It's a lot of podcasts. But I've also broken them up into six sections as well.

So I've got six of those. But not right from the beginning, because I didn't do six versions at the start, when I first started doing this. But I have done for a couple of years, two or three years or so.

So I've got the short audio, long audio, overnight audio, short music, long music, overnight music. So I've been in the process of today, uploading all the recordings I can find for the overnight music, and going through from I think 1200 to 1700. Not not just today, I mean, that takes days to do because a lot, a lot of stuff, because each one's 10 hours long, so it takes ages to upload.

And see, yeah, I'm in the process of doing that. It's actually being uploaded as we speak one of them. Probably.

I mean, there is another big one like the deep sleep whisper hypnosis. There's a lot of recordings on there as well. That I've not even really started to look at.

A lot, a lot, lot. So I think what I'll do with those is try and organize them. Also, I found out I don't know how I managed to do this.

When I changed things a while ago, when I made all my recordings, just 10 hours long audio. And it wasn't the most popular thing I've done. So I changed things back.

I seem to have managed to delete a lot of my recordings. So what I needed to do is, in some cases, not all cases, but in some cases, I'm going to need to edit the 10 hour recordings down to the original size again. Which is again, it's going to take quite a lot of time.

But not all, not all, just a few, a few kind of gone missing. But, you know, we'll see. So there's a few bits to do, there's quite a lot to do, actually, but I'm trying to get the mass done.

I think I'm pretty much ahead with the transcripts as well. Itchy chin. When I was at school, well, even when I left school as well, we used to scratch our chin when people, we thought people were lying.

So it used to be a thing like someone was exaggerating, telling porkies or just blatantly lying. Whoever else is in the room, you look at each other and just start itching your chin. And it's basically, it meant Jimmy Hill.

I don't know why, because Jimmy Hill was a sports presenter on TV, and very famous on TV for a very long time. And he had a really big chin. And he had like a beard.

But then he shaved his beard off and he had his chin was the shape of the beard. I think people thought it was actually the beard that made his chin look big. But it wasn't, it was the actual chin.

But he was a very popular person. I don't know why, but it used to be, it started off saying, oh yeah, Jimmy Hill, Jimmy Hill. And that used to say that.

And that used to mean they're just lying, they're making stuff up. But then it kind of got to like, just itching your chin, scratching it. It's very childish.

Even then, and I was a child at the time. Vinny's been really weird. I've just put some fresh food out, because he didn't eat his food from earlier.

And he's just sniffing it like, they want it. Because all he wants is a T-R-E-E-T. And he's not getting one because I don't have any for him.

And he's just annoyed. I can see he's just got the, he's got the hump. I think it's because my, my chin is hairier than it has been for a while.

I've kind of, my beard is growing in. So I'm getting a bit itchy. Plus it's a little bit warm in here.

It's kind of, it was cold earlier and now it's warm. Just trying to think anything else that's happened here this week. I've booked Vinny in to have his claws, to have his talons trimmed.

Next week. So I've been, I mean, I tried to do it myself. He would not allow it.

I tried to do it with a neighbor. He would not allow it. I didn't try and cut my neighbor's toenails.

That would be weird. What I mean is we like, between us tried to hold him down. I mean, I tried to do it with my friend downstairs.

And Vinny wouldn't have it. You know, he's just, he just wasn't, this is like years ago. It does not like his hands being touched.

But ironically, when I'm sitting on the toilet, which, you know, it's just, just forget that bit. But if I'm sitting on the toilet, he likes to come up to me and get on to, to like basically put his hands on my knees and I hold his hands and he just likes to kind of dance. I don't know why he likes to dance with me.

And he's fine with me to hold his, hold his hands. And I massage his, like the little pads on the, on the bottom of his hands. But no problem with that.

But if he's lying down next to me and I go to touch his hand, it's not like I'm creeping up on him. Like, you know, obviously that, that put him on edge and maybe thinks it's a, it's a game or something, but generally he just doesn't like it. But when he's, except when I'm on the toilet.

Sorry to talk about toilets. I know that I realize I'm the only person that goes to the toilet and no one else does, but it's proper itchy. I know I've got to be careful because I end up making my chin raw and like, I don't know what the right word is.

I was going to say raw and bloody, but that's probably not the right word, but definitely be a bit red and a bit, I don't know if I keep, oh, do you ever get that? You know, when you kind of like, you're poking part of your body, maybe your rib or something like that. And then, and you end up with a pain and you don't know if it's a pain is because you've been poking it or because you're poking to see what the pain is. And then it just gets confusing.

I'll tell you what I need to do. I need to get my hairbrush and just brush my beard. That feels lovely.

Lovely. Oh, yes. I tell you, this is weird.

I had a headache about three days ago and I realized that my right rib, my right ribs, rather rib cage was hurting. It's getting on, you know, it's kind of pretty much healing now, but it was hurting like, what's that about? I don't remember bashing anything. And I mean, it doesn't mean I didn't, because I've been very accident prone throughout my life, even to the point of, this is honestly, this is absolutely ridiculous.

I did something where I fell over and I wondered why my leg was hurting. I completely forgot that I'd fallen over. I was like, oh, that's why, you know, just like went out of my brain.

And you know, when you bash, you know, I'll bang into the one of the table edge or whatever with my knee or whatever, not my knee or not at all, with my, with my hip or whatever, you know, my upper thigh. And if I'm busy, cause you know, if I'm standing up, I'm clearly busy, I'm going somewhere. So I continue my journey to the bathroom or the kitchen or the bedroom, or maybe I decide to go abroad.

So I go into the garden. I normally have to plan those long journeys and I just forget that I bashed myself. And then the next day I got a bruise and it's hurting.

And I'm thinking, what does Finny do to me at night? Is he beating me up when I'm asleep? It wouldn't surprise me. He's a naughty little girl. He is, aren't you? Don't you mean boy? No, I meant to say girl.

He's a boy though. I've had that so often. I've been misgendering since I was a kid, just for fun.

I would never do anything. I would never do it to hurt anyone. I'll be honest.

I mean, it's not really my thing, but I used to like, I don't know, just for fun. And I'd say, oh, I could go to the little girl's room. You know, that's what we call toilets, little boy's room or little girl's room.

And I said that to my landlady once, and this was like 2009. And I said, to be fair, she was talking too much. Something I shouldn't really moan about, because I talk more than anyone, but I just thought, no, you know, when you need to go to the toilet, but you don't want to be rude, and the person is talking, they just talk a lot.

And then it's almost like the poo just reverses and goes back, goes back inside. And like, not that it was out, but it's like, oh, it's like, then you go to the toilet and it's not ready. Why do you keep talking about the toilets? I don't keep talking, I'm just saying it's, it's like, if you don't, there's a certain, we've got a window, there's a window, isn't there? And, you know, our bodies are made for the window to be, I'm not talking about the old times when you stick your bum out the window.

I'm talking about before we had toilets, that is, inside toilets. Can you imagine walking past someone's window and they'd like, oh, that must have been weird, because that's what people used to do. And then then they advanced.

This is like in London stuff. They used to just do it out the window or in the street if they're in the street. It's true.

And then people in London start to become a bit more sophisticated and they started going to the toilet in a bucket. And then just chucking the bucket out the window, not the bucket, but the, you know, the the entrails of the bucket. So it's just the same.

The difference is, if you're walking, you're avoiding like one plop, not like a whole day's worth in one go, you know. Plop. So, yeah, and my landlady, so I needed to go to the toilet and I said, I've got to go to the little, I've got to go to the little girl's room instead of the little boy's room.

And she said, don't you mean little boy's room? I mean, she didn't talk quite like that, but, you know, that's that's the only way I can really, that's what I heard. That's how it sounded to me. That's in my memory.

She said, don't you mean go to the little boy's room? I said, no, I didn't. I didn't say little girl's room by accident. I mean, I know I'm not.

I'm not going to be winning a Nobel Prize anytime soon. And intellectually, I'm probably a little bit behind the average person. But I do know the difference between the words and I kind of know the words I'm saying sometimes.

I said, no, I meant little girl's room. But you're a boy. Well, actually, I'm a man, but I'm a man.

Yes, I am. And I said, no, I meant to say little girl's room. The thing is, the more I said little girl's room, the more uncomfortable I think both of us felt because it was just a little joke to start with and said little boy's room, little girl's room.

But there's only so many times you can say the words little girl, little girl's room without it sounding wrong. And in the end, we just agreed to disagree and never mention it again. She made me promise never to talk about it on a podcast.

And I've stuck to it. Until now. Now, I probably have mentioned it a few times.

I think sometimes people, you know, when people correct you, maybe perhaps you used the wrong word, you know, the wrong term, whatever. And they say, don't you mean this? I say, no, this is the word you mean. And you say, well, let's wait a minute.

Did you understand what I said? Did you understand the meaning of what I just said to you? Yeah. Well, what does it matter what words I use? And he said, because you were using French words, and I don't speak French. I said, how do you understand them then? He said, I don't know.

And I said, what do you mean? And he said, I didn't know you're going to ask me that. I was just playing along with the conversation. Didn't know I was going to have such a speaking role.

I thought it was going to be like a one sentence thing. I said, well, why would you think that? He said, well, I don't know. You didn't give any notice, did you? I said, well, how much notice do you need to be in the podcast? He said, well, a little bit of notice, you know, at least more than like five seconds.

Maybe a script would be good. I said, I don't use scripts when I make these recordings. And he said, so it was a bit rude, evidently.

So what do you mean by that? He said, well, if he had a script, it'd probably be better. You know, it'd probably be more professional, more useful, more... I don't know. Should I have a script? Would you prefer me to do a let me boy to sleep with a script? And he said, are you still talking to me? I said, no, I'm talking to the audience.

He said, oh, OK. You need to make that clear, though. I said, well, so we need to make that clear.

If you're talking to me or talk to the audience, I said, let me just. OK, I'll give you a speaking role and I'm grateful for it. Yeah, but I give that I give that to you and I feel that you've ruined the moment.

We didn't need to be like this. Everything was going fine and I think you just ruined it. I'm sorry.

No, it's fine. It's don't be angry. I'm not angry.

I'm just disappointed. Said no man ever. So it's like, oh, I'm not angry.

I had that said to me once and I thought, man, that's like almost a caricature of a caricature is I know. Please. That's what I need.

I really have, you know, if you say something like you've got someone saying, oh, I'm trying to think. In this country, I don't know if it's the same in all other countries. I mean, I've not traveled enough to know.

Plus, I can't. I can't speak any other languages, so that's also a bit of a gets in the way a little bit. But we have these sayings where it's almost I forget what I've done and really what they're called, but it's.

It cliches, really. And you're going like, oh. Better the devil, you know.

Never rains, it pours. Stuff like that. Just an example, you know.

And if you change it, if you change it and say something like, instead of saying it never rains, it pours. It never farts. It never rains.

It pours. It never never rains. It.

Tinkles. Or it never tinkles, it floods. And so I might say, well, I never tinkled, it floods.

Don't you mean it never rains, it pours? No, it never tinkles, it floods. But isn't that the same as it never rains, it pours? Yeah. Why didn't you say that then? I don't understand.

I'm confused. Confused. Really throws people off.

It's almost like we're little automatic machines. And in order to get a particular response, you say a particular thing that just, you know, oh, it's cold, isn't it? Yeah. It was cold last night.

I know. It should be warmer later. I know.

Looks like it's going to rain. Now I've got my brolly, lucky. Lucky I've got my brolly.

Oh, it's just that same kind of conversation. If you throw in something different, it really does, it causes problems. So someone says, oh, looks like it's going to rain.

And you just say, yeah, I've got piles. Discovered a hemorrhoid this morning. Or just like, oh, oh, blimey, it looks like we're going to have a thunderstorm.

Yeah, I wet the bed. You know, something completely out of the blue. And.

They will look at you as if there's perhaps something wrong. In my case, they that's the correct thing to do, probably the correct reaction. I just find it a bit boring just using the same old terminology.

It's. It's very. I remember I met this waitress years and years and years ago, and what she did was one of the funniest things at the time.

It was so I don't know, I just found it so original. I kind of almost fell in love with her when she said it. And that never went anywhere.

Because she said she did this and three hours later, she was throwing up on my feet after going out to a party. So, yeah, I say feet, shoes. Anyway, she.

She went in, it was like near the end of the night, really busy night in the comedy club. She was in the kitchen. I go in there.

I'd only I'd really been there very long. And she looked at me. Look down and she said, Oh, I think she took one of the shoes off.

She said, Oh, feet, feet. It's made me laugh so much. Because you just basically very.

I don't know why it was so funny. It's she was jumping up and down as well. And she said it.

It was just funny the way she said feet. And still remember it. 18 years ago.

So yes, weird. 18 years ago. Blimey longer than that baby.

Wow. 18 years ago. 2027 years ago.

28 years ago. Crazy. You know, people say is to say time goes by so quickly.

I didn't find that to be the case in my young life. The first 10 years really dragged. The first five years really dragged first seven years really dragged.

But then first 10, you know, even the second 10 years, up to 20, it dragged. 20 to 30. It dragged.

I don't feel it went fast. 30 to 40. At times it really dragged.

It did. It felt it like some of the jobs I had. But it went pretty quick.

Between 30 and 40 went pretty quick. There were moments when it really didn't. He's trying to decide whether he's going to eat the dinner or not.

He's come to the conclusion if he doesn't eat it. He ain't gonna get any food. And I can see still annoyed.

It's he's looking at the carpet like he can magically make something appear like he's a green lantern or something. I don't know if green lanterns can make food appear and actually eat it. But I was eating his food now.

He's realized eventually that I was not going to back down. But I couldn't back down because I got nothing else to give him but food. Otherwise, I probably would have given him something to be fair.

Which is my fault. 40 to 50. The thing is 40 to 50 was broken up into two halves.

I mean, you could say, well, yeah, it's like that for everyone, isn't it? Five years, five years, 10 years. All right, come down. What I mean is, between 40 and 45.

Well, between 2010 and 2000, beginning of April 2015, I was living in town. And then I moved here, April 2015. And my life changed.

So very different from the first five years. So the first five years, or four years and whatever, I went from being a counselor for a few years, self employed, as well as working for well, and working with three different charities, counseling, adults, teenagers and children. And then losing all of that because of the just basically what's it's a new government came in and pretty much cut cut the whatever they, I don't know how it works out, but they cut the money that the charities were getting.

I remember that phone call. I was doing what I was doing 26 clients a week. I was getting paid 25 pounds an hour.

And they cut it down to I think four, four a week. And there's also another place, they said, they said, yeah, whenever when you come to finish any clients, that's it, you can't start anymore. And then also another place, another charity place I worked at, they said, you can't even finish what you're doing with them.

You have to stop. So these kids were coming to see me. And I was going to their school or whatever, and I had to stop completely.

Like zing, bang. Eventually, I think they took on some people later on by a year or so later or but it was just because what happens in these situations is sometimes these charities, they change what they do to suit the funding that's available. So I've seen charities that were basically there for young people, counseling services, but then the funding got cut for that, but it was available for young pregnant mothers, or young, you know, teen pregnant teenagers or stuff like that.

So there's funding for that. So then they start focusing on that, that thing, which was, it's a crossover because you could do counseling for that and offering services. So there was a charity that I used to work at, which was actually it was a rehab place, drug, drug rehab.

And they lost their funding or had their funding cut. And this was a really big, quite well known place. And in the town.

I can't say why, but in particularly in the town I was in, because of something that happened in the past that was like, huge in this country. So that place was really important because of it was kind of connected, in a sense. So at one point they were doing family therapy.

So, you know, it's just like, it's such a shame. I mean, it's not a shame to have family therapy, obviously for those that need it, but it's, and it's good to spread out and, you know, to have more options. But they were like, they've been around for decades and decades as a, a what's it to help people to get off the stuff and to stay off the stuff.

I think the same happened with the alcohol one. They focus more on gambling. So yeah.

See, if I break up the 10, the my 30s. So I started my 30s in 2000, August. And so come 2000.

And that was when I was like 2000 when I was really obsessed with building websites. I mean, obsessed. I don't know.

I don't know why I just was absolutely all I wanted to do for the second I got out of bed to the minute I went back to bed. All I wanted to do. And I think I was going through a bit of a manic period that lasted well lasted for months.

And I wasn't on medication or anything. So I didn't know. I didn't know what I was.

And then 2021 pretty about May, June, May time, maybe April, May, I got given notice to get out of where I was living. So I was a what you call it kicked out. And that kind of put the end to that period of my life.

Because suddenly, I was I've been forced to go into a job I didn't want to do. And also to live in a place I didn't want to live. And I mean, it's really sad, I probably still be living in that place.

Now, if they hadn't kicked me out, it's I didn't really want much for myself just a room and to be left alone. That's pretty much all I wanted. And to buy books.

And to, you know, build websites at the time as well. Anyway, I then I moved because my nan, my nan broke her hip. So I went and visited her and it upset me so much that I wanted to be no, I want to be closer to her.

Because I lived in London, she lived in Suffolk. And I thought, I want to get closer and spend more time with her. And so I felt that I was missing out really.

And at this point, she was probably about 83. And so I did. I moved back closer, I didn't move to the town, but I moved closer.

And I got a job in the town I lived first before I moved. It all happened very quickly. And I had a job interview.

Well, basically, I went to see my nan. She was in a convalescent home. Before she could go back because she's, she had to kind of learn to walk again, really.

And it's really weird when I went to visit her. I was dreading it because I thought, oh, you know, what kind of state is she going to be in? And I didn't find out that she'd had the accident until probably a week or so afterwards, because some for some reason, my dad couldn't get in contact with me. And yeah, he was trying to call the number.

He was trying to call the number that I lived at before. And because I've been kicked out, I didn't know my number. I probably hadn't told him that I'd moved address either.

Because it only just happened really hadn't I'd only lived in that place for about a month before I moved out again. So I'm walking into this building walking up the hallway, really a bit well not actually very, very fearful of what I'm about to witness. I thought she might look a mess and she might be really poorly because of what she'd been through.

And from a distance, I hear laughter. And it was my Nan laughing. And I walk in and my Nan's at the bed.

And so I'm walking towards her and my Nan's shouting to the nurses, look, it's my favourite grandchild. Or my favourite grandson, maybe. I say I'm saying grandchild, because just in case my my cousins are listening just to wind her up.

You know, you know, you as a favourite grand granddaughter. One of them, she wasn't she didn't have favourites. I think my Nan loved everyone, to be fair.

I was her favourite. And I probably wasn't. It's like I think my friend downstairs, he'll just say, Oh, you know, I'll do anything for you.

And then you find that he'd said it to everyone. He said it to next door's cat. It just is one of these people that everyone thought that they were his best friend.

And so my Nan liked everybody. I don't think she ever met anyone she didn't really like. She's very, very kind.

And I know that we can all look through tinted glass windows or whatever, at people and not see their faults. But trust me, I can see people's faults. I don't have any issue with that.

It's very, I can see but I don't care when it comes to my Nan. And it's like we've all got faults, haven't we? But what does it matter? Ultimately, for me, it's the core. It's like who is the real person? It's like they say what you do when there's no one else around.

That's the real you. So I do wonder about that some of the things I say when I'm around people to make them laugh or whatever. It's not really me.

Sometimes. Sometimes it is, sometimes it's not. But when I'm on my own, I think, well, how am I really? What do I really think? How do I really and what I really think about people and groups of people and stuff like that? And there's a real part of me that really just doesn't care.

I'm not interested in having some strong opinions on religions or political stuff or groups of people from a certain country or whatever. I just don't find that interesting. I can't.

I don't have. I just I see it online. I see it in person as well.

People get really angry and really emotional about stuff like that. And I don't have it. I just don't have it in me.

I almost find it funny. I mean, sometimes it's not good, but, you know, someone would be like, are these people in their boats? Boats are not very popular, especially dinghies are very popular these days. Oh, and I'm like laughing or try not to laugh.

I mean, there was this old lady. I speak to a lot of quite elderly ladies and men, but mostly ladies in the park. That sounds that sound weird, like they've got dogs.

A lot of them, their husbands have passed on. And I get on well with them. But one was saying something so outlandish.

And like very, you could say un-PC is an understatement. And I couldn't stop laughing because a lot of people probably would have got really offended and gone home. And perhaps had a really bad day because of it.

And I just found it hilarious that she just said it because it was it was almost too silly because she'd said it. Because when you got an 80 year old or 85, 90 year old saying something that. It's different to when you see a 30 or 40 year old saying it that that I don't know.

I just I just view it differently. I find it. I mean, it's different if she was shouting and then, yeah, I probably wouldn't have enjoyed it as much.

So we found it funny just for different reasons. But I do find when people say stuff that's so out of order. It amuses me, but it doesn't mean that I agree with them.

I just find it funny that they said it in the first place. People would even think that. And I've always been a bit like that, really.

Because, you know, I laugh at stuff doesn't mean I agree with what the person said. You know, I used to laugh at Andrew Dice Clay and Sam Kinison. I didn't agree with anything that they were saying, really.

But I used to laugh at their jokes and laugh at the. A lot of it was misogyny and all kinds of stuff, but I used to laugh, not because I agreed with them. I just found it funny that they were saying it was just kind of absurd because.

There's a tradition, I think, in this country, we used to have these characters in sitcoms like Alf Garnett, who was a bigot. So we'd have these bigots. He was probably the biggest, biggest, biggest, biggest, biggest, biggest out of all of them.

But there was a few along the way. And especially during the 70s. So Alf Garnett, he was the most famous of all of them in this country.

And he would rant and rave about everything, religion, race, anything, sexuality, women, men, politics. He'd just go on and on and on and on and on. And after you got kind of two types of people, well, maybe three types of people that would enjoy watching that.

Those that agreed with him. I think they really enjoyed watching it. Those that just saw it as completely absurd, because they didn't agree with him.

And they just saw how pathetic it was. That just someone would be like that. And they found that funny.

And and then those probably that just saw the probably saw how good it was the way it's put together. Because of Alf Garnett, I think it was Till Death Do Us Part. In Sickness, Selling the Health and Till Death Do Us Part, there was two different shows with the same with him in.

I forget which one was first. So there's one that was I think black and white, had Eunice Stubbs in it as his daughter. And the bloke who was Eunice Stubbs, his husband, was here's a bit of trivia for you.

Tony Blair's wife's dad. Yeah, Tony Blair, you know, the Prime Minister, former Prime Minister. His wife, Sherry, isn't it? Sherry Blair, his wife's dad was in in sickness and in health.

And maybe in in Death Do Us Part as well. And he was the him and his wife Eunice Stubbs that was Alf Garnett's daughter. They used to make fun of Alf Garnett.

So he'd be going on and on about and whatever he was moaning about. And they've been making fun of him, making him even worse. So you had some people watching, I guess, enjoying the horrible things that he was saying.

Maybe believe, you know, agreeing with him thinking, yeah, wish I could say that. And some people that probably did say stuff like that. But then those that had the intelligence to perhaps that could also see all this is is good the way to put it together because they're, you know, they're questioning it, they're querying it, they're, you know, arguing with him.

And I don't know, whatever the right words are. It's very clever, actually. The same thing we had quite a few really dodgy shows in the 70s, or 80s as well, probably, and the 60s.

But in the 70s, we had a lot of I mean, there was there was one called Mind Your Language. And there was another one called Blessed, is it Blessed Thy Neighbor? And it was what's his name from EastEnders? Roger, not Roger. Roger.

What's his name from EastEnders? Caribbean man, he's been in there, he's been in it for absolutely ages. His son was a doctor. And then his other son was like, like, like, wannabe gangster from years ago.

Oh, not Calum. Calvin. Calvin Klein.

Patrick, that's it, Patrick. I'm not googling it, by the way, I'm using my memory. So Patrick was the next door neighbor with his wife.

And, you know, back then, he was a young man. And he was from the Caribbean or wherever. Seashells or I'm not quite sure what what island.

And he worked, I think, I don't know if he worked in the same place. But I think he might have worked in the same place as a neighbor, who was a white anti, I don't know, not he is basically started off with him, his neighbor being really rude to Patrick, because of where he was from and how he looked and stuff. And that was how it was back then.

And then they became best friends in the show. And basically, I think the reason they become best friends, because he saw other people behaving towards Patrick the way he had. And he didn't like it, and he started sticking up for him.

And it kind of, you know, even though it started off, like it was making fun of foreigners, I suppose, if you want to call it that, it still turned around being actually intelligent, the way it was done. And it got cheap laughs, and they were using language that was not allowed anymore on telly, unless it's a Tarantino movie, or a hip hop movie or hip hop album, a rap album. How does that work? Because you're in your car and you got your favorite album, and you want to sing along to the song.

How do you, you can't do that. If you're, if your favorite artist or favorite album is like Def Roe albums. Ni NWA, for example, or something like that.

You can't sing along to that. If you're a specific shade of gray, as it were. So you can't, you can't sing in public, you can't, you just can't.

See, some people, you know, really argumentative people would say, are you saying that because you want to, you want to say those words, don't you? I heard someone on TikTok, they really said this, they said, well, if someone uses that language in an argument, it means it's in their vocabulary. Oh, yeah. I mean, you can't use words that aren't available to you, can you? Unless you've got a list.

But it's a bit difficult if you're having an argument, you have to pull a list out of your socks of naughty words. As a way, you wouldn't use a word like that unless you felt that way. No, it doesn't work like that.

Use a brain cell, find another brain cell, try and connect them together. Come on, let's see if we can kickstart it. People, if people are arguing.

I don't really argue. I have argued. I don't argue anymore.

It's when I was younger, I used to go too far with arguments. And, you know, it's just like, no, it's not not for me anymore. But if you're in an argument with a clown, someone dressed as a clown, you might not have any issues with clowns, might love clowns, you might clowns might be the one thing in life that you love most in the world.

You might spend every summer visiting clown school, you might be a secret clown yourself, you know, it might be everything that you've ever wanted to be is to be a clown. And then you're in a queue in a supermarket and a clown pushes ahead of you. Now, it's not a good situation.

You're in a hurry. But also at the same time, you're not particularly impressed with this type of behavior. And maybe you get into a verbal conflict, you know, start saying things to each other.

And you might say all these horrible clown things. You might, let's put it from an outside perspective, people might think you're being clownist. Yeah, the clown might be thinking you're being clownist.

And if you start, I'm not. But you must be. You must hate all clowns.

I said no. But you're using hate words towards clowns. But don't mean to hate clowns.

Little do they know that you love clowns. You love clowns more than Christmas trees. You love clowns more than the smell of a newborn baby's skull.

That sounds wrong when you say skull, doesn't it? I mean, head. A baby's head. I think it's probably the best smell in the world.

Again, that can sound wrong, can't it? I'm not going I'm not going around smelling baby's heads. But I've smelled a few, you know, just family members. Oh, can we go backwards? Can we? There's a smell of fresh baby.

Again, we use words like fresh. It just sounds wrong, doesn't it? A baby's head, especially probably like the just, look, a baby's born. It's pure, isn't it? So like a pure, as pure as you're ever going to get as far as a human being goes like.

And there's a smell. I suppose you could say it's like new shoes, isn't it? New shoes never smell like new shoes once you've worn them. I'm not saying that babies get worn like shoes.

I'm not comparing babies to shoes either. Can I stop now, please? But, you know, the whole thing is, let's move on away from baby's heads. I just, there is a smell, isn't there? If you ever smell a little bit, if you've got a newborn baby in your family, maybe not your own, because it's your own, you're going to know because you probably have had to at some point held the baby, isn't it? If you've just given birth or you were the impregnator.

And so if you've got a cousin or you've got a, you know, like a relative that you can kind of just have a little cuddle. Smell the top of the head. I don't mean like, I don't mean like proper sniff, sniff, sniff, because that sounds weird.

I don't mean like proper, you know, like it's an egg. It's just, it's just, there's this, there's nothing else smells like it. I'm not saying all baby's heads smell the same because I've not smelled all baby's heads.

Oh, this, this was supposed to be nice. It's a nice thing. I'm saying a nice thing.

Like, it's human nature. I mean, that's why babies are protected. Even going back millions of years or 3000 years, depending on what you, um, belief system is.

We've been, you protect a baby. It's helpless, but we don't see it as useless. We see it as helpless and needing help.

When in fact it is useless as well, isn't it? It's of no use, but we don't see it like that because it's got a nice smelly head. Can you imagine cavemen like, what the hell is this? They're just, you're pooed out. It's your baby boy.

Yeah, but what's the point of it? What do you mean? Well, what, what, what is it? It's your baby. It's a baby. Yeah, but what does it do? Doesn't do anything.

Doesn't do anything. Okay. So what have I, what's my job here? You have to take care of it.

You have to go out, you have to hunt. You've got to take care of it, feed it, keep it safe, and teach it how to live and how to do things until it's about 15, 16. Or caveman days probably till it's about nine.

Okay. What's in it for me? What do you mean? What do I get out of it? Well, he'll look after you when you're old. So when you're about 25, he'll look after you.

Good caveman days, 25 would probably be older than that. It's like in a history lesson, isn't it? Oh, but what does it do? That's nothing. So it's useless.

Well, we like to use a term helpless rather than useless, but yeah, if we're going to be specific and literal, yeah, it's useless. Doesn't do anything. So there's no use.

I mean, yeah. So what's the point in me looking after it then? What's in it for me? Oh, well, can it fight? No. Can it cook? No.

Can it dance? No. Can it at least turn the channel on the TV? No. What can it do then? I don't know.

You can cuddle it. Cuddle it? Yeah. Hold it with your arms.

I know what cuddling means. All right. Well, you can cuddle it.

Just be careful. Don't don't grip it the way you grip me because you've already broken three of my ribs this morning. Just, you know, be gentle.

All right. So I'll be gentle. So just hug it.

Pick it up. Why is he looking at me with those massive eyes? Why is his eyes so big? His eyes are as big as his body. His head's bigger than his whole body.

What's going on here? This is all out of proportion. I don't know. It's just the way it is.

Are you sure he's mine? No, he's mine. What do you mean? He didn't come out of you, did he? He came out of me. Oh, OK.

Fair enough. So what am I looking after him for? Because of me. If you don't look after him, I won't look after you.

OK. What's that smell? What do you mean? His head. Smells yummy.

I'm ever so hungry now. No, I'll edit that out. What's that smell? What? His head.

It smells... I've never smelt anything like it. I don't know. I think I washed most of it off.

I mean, I haven't just given birth to him. I said, no, no, it's not. It's not.

It's gone a different direction. No, it's... you've already bathed him, haven't you? Yeah, yeah. He's had a bath.

In the river. Under the waterfall. Yeah.

I'm going to get questions like, dear Jason, why did you do the voice? Like, oh, and then, yeah, what's that about? Is that how you think women talk? No, it's not. It's just a voice. Oh, all women talk like this, do they? What about earlier when you were doing the, it's a little boy's room.

It's not a little girl's room. You're a boy. So that's what you think women sound like, is it? No, it's not what I think.

I just, I like doing that voice, OK? They're voices I like to do. There's no reason for it. There's no reason to do it.

There's no reason not to do it. I just, it amuses me. I'm sorry.

OK? I can't help it. Sometimes I do different voices. And sometimes you can't tell I'm doing different voices because they all sound the same.

In that case, how come you don't do different voices when you're doing a conversation with yourself? What do you mean? Well, I'm like this. We're both, you know, I'm a different person. Potentially, this is a conversation between me and you.

We both sound the same. How are the audience supposed to know who's talking? I don't know. Well, I've got a solution.

Do a different voice. Yeah, but have you heard me try and keep the same voice going? It gets very weird. Might start off like, hello, my dear.

How are you, my dear? And it ends up. You know, it just changes over time, over minutes, and it can be difficult. I must admit.

Oh, really? Don't you mean the boys room? Oh, dear. Right, it's getting time for bed. It's 57 minutes past 21 o'clock.

I've been talking for 75 minutes. Vinny is laid down on the sofa with his left back leg sticking up on the armrest. He's just near me.

And what a weird way to do it. I'm going to see if I can touch his, see if I can touch his paw without him noticing. His finger's fast asleep because I'm touching it and he's not even noticing it.

Hello. He noticed he turned. I pulled my hand so quick I nearly punched myself in the leg.

Right, I'm going to go. Thanks for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy.

And be gentle with yourself. You deserve to feel safe. Lots of love.

Bye.