(Long Music) NEGOTIATION Let me bore your pain away #22 Jason Newland 14th April 2025

Hello and welcome to Jason Newland.com. My name is Jason Newland. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. This is Let Me Bore Your Pain Away.

So, basically what this is, is just me chatting. That's all it is really, just chatting, having a little look, look at different techniques that might be useful. And that's all it is.

So how it works really is, I ask you to gauge the chronic pain level, the discomfort level 0 to 10 on a scale, 10 being the worst, 0 being the lowest. Where is it right now? And then at the end I ask you to do that again and notice how it's changed. Now this works on different levels.

There's the distraction of listening to me rambling on. That can always be a useful thing. There's the focusing on now, because as you listen to my voice you're focusing on this moment instead of thinking about the past or thinking about the future.

So you've already reduced the physical discomfort by two thirds, because you're not thinking about the previous, the past pain, you're not thinking about or expecting future discomfort. You're just focusing on where you are now. And then as we go through and just chat, there's relaxation.

You know, your body starts to relax, your mind slows down and that in itself also naturally, in its own way, automatically reduces chronic pain. So there's a lot going on. It might just seem like it's a random chat about nothing and in some ways that is exactly what it is.

But underneath that, underneath the pointlessness of me talking, there are also underlying benefits. Just what I said, you know, the distraction, the focusing on now, the focusing on my voice, the relaxation that automatically happens. And there's this metal thing sticking out of my desk and I keep banging on it.

I want to get rid of it. It's like, I used to use it to hold the headphones. I don't know what it's for.

I don't know why I screwed it into the desk to start with. It's in the way. I just need to get a screwdriver.

I don't even, I don't think I even own a screwdriver anymore. I want to get it. Eventually, I've been complaining about it for months.

Eventually I'm going to remove it. Now, so I'm just thinking yesterday I did a recording and I've talked about some quite strange ideas, some quite strange techniques that have been used to help people, to help you reduce that physical discomfort. And I thought to myself, and I said this out loud yesterday as well, maybe I'll go through some of those techniques and just devote a whole recording to each one.

So I think I'm going to do that. And you can just follow me along. So I'll be doing the techniques myself.

I'll be playing around with it. Having a bit of fun with it. And one of the main things really is that this is not a serious recording.

It's also important that you only listen with the permission of your doctor. And you need to know the cause of the chronic pain, that physical discomfort before listening any further. So if you do not have permission from your medical practitioner or doctor to say that it's chronic pain and there's no harm in reducing it, okay, that the physical discomfort is not actually needed, no longer required.

Unless you have that permission, then please turn the recording off and go and do something else, more enjoyable perhaps. So that being said, I shall continue. And as I was saying, this is not supposed to be a serious recording.

It's a serious subject, but I like to do things lighthearted and with a bit of fun. I try not to take myself too seriously. So I'm coming from this different perspectives.

The first perspective is from a, like a hypnosis NLP, that's Neuro Linguistic Programming, counseling kind of perspective. Just trying to help people, trying to be of use, be useful, do something that helps. And that is the bottom line.

If what I do helps, then brilliant. Please continue listening, tell other people, let other people know that this is useful. If it's not useful, then, you know, I apologize.

It's not going to be for everyone. But you know, I make a lot of recordings, I've made thousands of recordings over the years. I've been doing this for 19 years now online.

So a little bit of experience, but I'm not an expert on anything. I never pretend I am, and never will pretend I am an expert on anything. I know a few things.

But we all do, don't we? We all know a few, we all know something. We all know a few things. And when you're interested in a subject, you get to know more about it.

And I can only, I can only really learn stuff when I'm interested. That's the only time it really sticks in my brain, for some reason. And one of the things I've been, I wouldn't even say passionate about, I would say probably a bit, I don't know what the right word is.

I mean, I am passionate about it now. But in the past, I was a bit obsessed with anything to do with chronic pain, chronic pain relief. I was studying via books and textbooks, not a college or anything like that.

But I was, and then when the internet came along, like YouTube rather, the internet was around. But you know, I started studying, I got interested in chronic pain back in about 1999. And it wasn't until 2004 that I started a free chronic pain relief service in my local town.

But for two years, I got no takers. Like no one was interested. Apart from my Nan, I did some hypnosis with my Nan, because she had osteoporosis.

So her bones were crumbling. And a lot of that was, it wasn't just due to age, because it's, it runs in the family, so it's hereditary. But her age did definitely have a bearing on it, because she was very elderly at the time.

And it wasn't until 2006, when I relaunched myself, relaunched the free pain relief service locally. And I put some money into it, got some leaflets, built a new website, all this stuff, advertised a bit, because I had a job at the time. So I could invest a little bit advertising.

And it, it took off. So I started to get people that were calling me up. And at the beginning, I was actually going around their house.

They were getting a family member, or they themselves were picking me up from Blockbuster's video, funny enough, just near where I used to live. And they'd take me to... Blimey. Yeah, Blockbuster video.

And they'd take me to their house, and I'd do some hypnosis or relaxation and different techniques to help them to feel more relief. And and this is only based on... Now, this is coming from the people themselves. So it's not my personal opinion.

This is what everyone told me. And every single person at the time told me that it helped. The pain level reduced.

So I had 100% success rate. According to... I mean, you never know, they might have lied, some of them. They might have just said it to make me feel better about myself.

It's possible. But according to them, it was 100% success. I've never had 100% success rate in anything in my entire life.

So that was quite nice. I don't know how many people I actually saw during that period. I don't know, maybe 100.

100 different people, maybe. Maybe more. Because it went on, yeah, for about... I did it for about eight months.

Yeah. So that was good. And then I decided to start doing stuff online.

Making recordings online, because it just, to me, it seemed like, you know what, because I used to get people to say, well, it's nice to listen to you. And it's nice to, you know, see you once a week or whatever. People used to come do groups with me for relaxation.

And I'd say, well, I'd quite like to be able to hear you like in other times. So I did some CDs, where I just recorded live recordings, like live sessions. And kept running out of CDs, because they were so popular.

I want to say popular, I mean, just we ran out of CDs. There was, there wasn't thousands of CDs. But it was costing, because I was volunteering at two charities, rehab and a alcohol charity, when we were doing the relaxation groups, what I was running then.

So it was just costing charities a bit too much money, like making the CDs. So in the end, I thought, okay, I'll, I'll put them on my website. So I put the live recordings, I started recording all my new recordings.

Every time I did a live recording in a group, and I was doing maybe four a week, at one point, I would upload them onto my website. Then I started putting them onto podcasts. And then YouTube came along, I think 90s, 2007.

I was on Myspace, I think 2006, I was uploading them. And they were getting a lot of good feedback. Awful quality sound really bad.

Like an old digital recorder. It was really bad, seriously bad quality sound. But people seem to like it.

And kind of went from there. Oh, itchy bum. See, my professionalism comes out sometimes.

And I just continued. I then went on to become a counsellor, got a degree in counselling, had numerous different trainings and hypnosis and different things like that. Read a lot of books.

And since 2006, I've been making recordings online, videos and audio recordings. So it's over 19 years so I got a little bit of experience. It's it doesn't mean I'm any good.

But I kind of I think it was it, I might be rubbish at what I do, but at least I'm confident. I'm confident. I'm incompetent, but confident.

Yay. I don't know. I kind of figure I mean, I get a little bit of feedback from people saying that it's helpful.

I mean, I had one today, actually, and on my Facebook group, which is Jason Newland's Boring Group. And you might be thinking, when are you going to get on with a chronic pain relief? All right, okay. But I just let me just have a look at this.

For those that haven't. I've had a few nice comments on that group lately. There's Rich, I think.

Let's have a look. It's hard to find them because I do so many recordings these days. Rich was said, Hey, Jason, your podcast has become my new favourite.

I listen almost every night. Thanks for the Sunday papers. That's to let me bore you to sleep podcasts.

So I kind of have a different theme throughout the week with the let me bore you to sleep. Mondays, sleepy, boring objects. Tuesdays, Trivia Tuesday.

Wednesdays, Whisper Wednesday. Was it Wednesday whispers? Whisper Wednesday. Thursday, I don't really have a set one for that.

Fridays, Q&A Friday, Saturdays, Saturday summary, which is just the week, a summary of the week that's gone by. And in Sunday, Sunday papers, which is I go through the newspapers on Sunday, usually just one newspaper because it takes me forever to get through it. So yeah, and what does say which says, I do like some of the rags like the Enquirer.

Okay, I should have. I should have pointed that out. I did mention that.

I couldn't find it didn't have it on the app, the National Enquirer. Right, it's gonna have to go back. So there was something else on here.

I think it was Hillary. Did Greg says, I'm so impressed that you're still churning out sleep churning, churning out. I like that word churning.

Sleep hypnosis videos. After all this time, you must have the YouTube record for the most videos like this. I haven't seen anyone even close.

I missed your live Q&A. So yeah, thanks, Greg. I've been doing it a while now.

Doing it a while. Oh, yes. Jackie says, I so love all of them.

I didn't realize I didn't see this one. Jackie, I'm sorry that I did not reply to your comment on there because I didn't see it. Jackie says, I so love and so appreciate how you completely leave politics alone when you talk to us folks.

It means a heck of a lot. And know that we know that you let and know that we know that you know exactly what we know and how much we are all suffering together. Okay, yeah.

I don't. Thanks. I'm gonna put a bit of comment on this reply.

Thank you. Just only just seen this. It's I do try and steer away when I do was not just the newspapers, but generally, if I can.

I okay, I'm struggling to find stuff here. Right, I am. There is another way I can do it.

Actually. Let me see. There was a Hillary wrote, if I go to Hillary, I should be able to see click on that should be able to see stuff she's posted on my thank you for Okay, now I can't find it.

I'm sorry. I can't find it. Oh, well.

But I did read it out at the time. There's too much stuff on the on the group. When I do my recordings, I do generally miss out politics.

Don't talk about politics. Don't talk about horrible news stories, which is most news stories to be fair. And I'll talk about my own life.

So not everything's like I sometimes broach a few subjects that maybe are not like perfectly wonderful, but generally, I try and keep it as light as possible. I do. But you know, if I was if I was in hospital, I would let you know that I was in hospital.

And I'll tell you why I was in hospital. In my recordings, I wouldn't like just not make any recordings and pretend it didn't happen or you know, it's not doesn't mean I'd go into graphic detail about the castration or whatever it is I went in there for castration blimey. So yeah, it's I try and keep it light.

He just said castration. That's not light. Yeah, no, I didn't know that was going to pop out of my mouth.

So just gives you an idea. I've got should if I if I could find the letters that I had. I still got letters that I received back in 2006 2007 from people that I saw during that period for the chronic pain relief.

And it was I kept them so lovely. I've got a few letters sent from people here as well. And messages.

Loads of messages, but I didn't. I don't know where I store them. They got me somewhere.

Wonder where they are. Hmm. Also, let you know that my on my website, because I do the q&a Friday every Friday now, I've been doing that for a year.

The there's a little form you can fill in, or you can go to the page. There's an actual page for it. And is basically, if I go to view site, let's have a look at the very, over the very, very top of the page, just below the latest recordings.

Ask me anything, dash q&a Friday submission, just your name, email, just post a message. And I will read it out the question and answer the question in the next q&a Friday. Or if you go into the menu, you can actually go into the list of pages q&a Friday questions.

Again, it's just that page and that form on its own in one page. So just gives us another way of doing it. Because last week, I only got one question.

And I posted it. I posted like any questions for q&a Friday on Wednesday of the last week. And I didn't get any, I think it just got lost because of all the recordings I've been making.

It just kind of got camouflaged as it were. It went missing. So I'm trying to avoid that happening again.

You know, I was partly thinking, is it because you don't want q&a Friday anymore anymore? Is it run? Is it run its course? Or just because people didn't see it? didn't see the question. So now anyone that visits anybody who visits my website, I have a little bit of stutter sometimes just let you know, I don't know why. I have a little bit of stutter, a little bit of a lisp.

A little bit, I've got a little bit of everything, you know. It's a nice little mix, I would say. 48% Irish, I don't know if you knew that.

I don't mention it very often. But yeah. So here we are.

Yesterday was very busy. I had the most amount of listeners that I've had for ages, and ages. I mean, if I go for the last the current year, the last 12 months, now that's by month.

So so yeah, 30 the last 30 days yesterday was the biggest amount of listeners I've had. And two days before that was the second biggest. I'm just going back.

So what is March? So if I go to March? Yep, even in March, not in nothing in March, February. Oh, no, I did have a... Okay, so it's the biggest I've had since the 14th of February. 14th of February? Is that Valentine's Day? Is that 14th of February? Do you think people listening because there's all these people out there that just love me secretly? Well, if you love me so much, where was my Valentine's chocolates? Don't care about the cards.

Can't eat the cards. Chocolates. Where was my Valentine's gifts and well cards even balloons, airfare, a yacht, my Valentine's yacht? Where was was my Valentine's Mercedes? Yes, yes, I had one, two, three really good days in February.

But February 14th was probably even better than yesterday. Yeah. I wonder why that is? How strange.

Not really strange, but I tell you what has happened though. Getting more and more people visiting my website and listening on there. So I'm pleased about that because, you know, it's costing me money to have that website going.

So it's quite nice. Quite nice to think that people are actually listening on there. I mean, yesterday and not the day before the day before that.

So what was it yesterday, Sunday and Friday? I had the most I think I've ever had on my website, Jason Newland.com. This is a bit of it relaxes you. I just chitter and chatter and just blah, blah, blah. So I don't know why sometimes I feel the need to just do an introduction to what Let Me Bore Your Pain Away is.

And I think the way I've been talking about the what's it like the past, you know, when I was doing recordings and when I was seeing people in person and it's like I'm trying to not justify but almost trying to convince you that I'm worth listening to. But there's no point in that. It's really it's up to each individual person.

And thousands of people every day listen to me. But it doesn't mean that. I mean, it doesn't mean it's always the same, same few thousand people.

It might be it might be new. There might only be six people that listen to me every day. And there might be like three thousand new people that listen to me once and think, what on earth is he talking about? What have I landed in? This is so weird.

I've arrived in a weird space, a weird podcast. Is this Thor? Hopefully not, but it might happen. I mean, I've always been a bit strange.

I like to think in a good way, but maybe there is no good way of being strange. I didn't know. So here's what I was thinking, right? I quite like the talking pain negotiation.

This was number eight on the list of these 10 techniques. Now, I hadn't really heard it described this way. So I go into chat GPT.

I ask the questions. And this is the 4.5, which is the good for writing and exploring ideas. Use advanced reason.

I think 4.5 is the newest. That's the best one. I'm not 100% sure.

But I kind of know my way around this stuff anyway. And I've done some of these techniques in the past, but didn't have a name for them. So there's one called the balloon ascension method.

I have never used the word ascension, ascension, ascension, A-S-C-E-N-S-I-O-N. I've never even said that word before. Maybe yes, I did.

But before that ascension, I know what it means. I just never used that word. And rise, I would probably use floating off.

And it is just getting time helium balloons to stuff and just allowing it just to flow away or blow away or fly away or float away. But that's not the technique I'm going to focus on. I want to focus on the talking negotiation.

And I've also done a version of this before. I didn't, again, I didn't call it that. I guess I probably wouldn't have called it a technique either.

Just something where when you are relaxed, your mind is slowed down. And you may have noticed that now anyway, because you listen to me. I mean, the word bore is in the title of this recording.

And it can be, and you know what, the way I see it, is something that's boring to one person could be super interesting to another person. Now, if I was going to stand here and talk, stand, I'm not standing, if I was going to sit here, I don't know why I did, I made that distinction, because there's no way of you knowing, is there? But I suppose I imagine if you're listening to kind of a relaxed and sit sort of recording like this. I can't, you're probably not imagining that I'm standing here on one leg,

balancing an egg on my head, and juggling knives, or you know, it's like, you kind of know that that wouldn't be very relaxing, would it? So, the negotiation, I have, sometimes it's just nice to get in touch with that part of you.

And instead of doing what's natural, because the natural thing to do with a feeling of discomfort is to try to avoid it. It's just the natural thing to do, but it's not necessarily the useful thing to do. Sometimes it really is the useful thing to do, it's the best thing to do sometimes.

You know, if someone's needs to run, and you know, let's say someone's got a broken leg, they know they can't put any pressure on it. But if there's an emergency, and that person has to get out of a building, or has to move very quickly, then it's good that they, you know, they can focus on it, or completely try to ignore it rather, because that helps them to get out of that situation. So, someone's like needing to get down some stairs, because there's an emergency, and everyone has to get out of a building, they're not going to be like focusing on their broken leg, like, oh, let's focus on it.

No, they're going to be like, sod the leg, I'm getting down these stairs, not allowed to use the lifts. So, that wouldn't be, it wasn't because of the emergency, it's just I've got a habit of farting in lifts. See, that's where the professionalism goes wrong.

I mean, I genuinely, this is genuinely, I was going to write a book about therapy, about being a counsellor with one of my colleagues. And I thought, I'm not going to do a book about how to be a counsellor. I'm not going to do a book because, you know, I was, we were both, you know, in the first few years of being professional counsellors.

So, and we worked together quite often, in this, at the same time, in the same building. So I got to know her. And I thought it'd be nice if we wrote a book together.

But for student counsellors, people that were just starting out, maybe just qualified. And, you know, went through some of the ideas, just the things that come up that aren't taught in the counselling course. Not taught, they might be in some courses, but they weren't sort of covered in the counselling degree that I did.

And just things like, it could be lots of different things, like lots, just little things. And there's one definite weird thing that happened when I had, or twice, I had a woman come back. She was, this is when I was training.

And it was a college and she came, the room is in the college. And I finished the session. Then I saw another person.

And then I saw, I think I had three people in a row. And I was coming, ready to leave at six o'clock. There was no one else around.

And I come out of the door and she's there. I mean, there's a lock on the door so people can't just walk in and out. It's a therapy room.

You can get out of it easy enough. But then she was there like saying, oh, and she was hovering. I said, how are you able to hover? I mean, you're defying gravity.

No, she wasn't actually hovering, but she was like, you know, there. And she was asking me if I wanted to go for a coffee and spend some time with her. And I said, no.

Well, I kind of trying to say like, you know, I can't, it's not allowed. And she was, seemed very upset, you know, just generally, asked me what to do. And it was, there was no one to call.

There was nobody around. It was, I felt a bit vulnerable, to be honest. And that was a situation that I didn't know, you know, like, what do we do in these situations? I had another client who actually asked me out for a date.

And I wanted to say yes. But I said no, because, you know, I just not can't be dating. I mean, the therapy is finished.

What she came to me for, she was on the waiting list for so long. By the time she actually got to see me, nearly everything was sorted. It was a very practical situation that had caused emotional distress.

But most of it was sorted. And I think part of the reason why she stayed for six weeks, because we enjoyed chatting. I think, you know, she just used the six sessions up to just chat.

I mean, to start with, it was about a situation, but it was kind of sorted after the first week or so. Any remnants of it. And she asked me on the last session, if I wanted to go out on a date.

And I didn't tell her I did. I mean, the fact is I did. I didn't, I didn't tell her I did, but I did.

No, what I mean is, I didn't tell her that I liked her, because I did. I fancied her. But I didn't tell her that, because it seemed unprofessional.

So I just said, oh, no, I can't. I explained to her, I just can't do it. Not allowed.

I could lose my career. See, at the time, I thought I had a career. And then a few months later, it's true that all the government cuts, all the government funding stopped.

So I basically lost all my work apart from four sessions a week. And I ended up having to get another job, like a normal job. So, you know, I might have missed out on the, the romance of my life.

But hey, it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. So there. And then, so if you're listening, this is like, blimey, 12 years ago.

It's a long time ago now. I was, my concern was that, what if we went out, and she decided she didn't like me? And I can't, I continue to be a counsellor. She'd have the power anytime to pretty much end my career.

So I thought, nah, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna give anyone that power. If I'd known that the job, the career, the whatever I thought it was, was about to end quite soon, then I'd have had a different attitude. But then I saw my supervisor, who I saw every week, and she said, oh, you can date, potentially date someone, but you have to leave it a certain amount of time after the therapy ends.

Like, okay, now you tell me. But at that point, it's too late. I didn't have any of the information.

I never stored people's telephone numbers or anything like that. It was always on the, on the paperwork. And once the, once the sessions are finished, that went back to the charity.

And that's the last, I couldn't even tell you what names, didn't have anyone's names or anything on my phone. So, because it was only for six weeks. Sometimes you get extensions, but it wasn't, wasn't long enough to really be saving people's names on my phone.

So I didn't do that. So, yeah, the, I don't know how I got on talking about that, but I quite like the idea of negotiation. The idea of, I don't know, there's a fine line between negotiating, because you think of a negotiation, it's almost like, okay, that feeling is kind of, is that physical discomfort, that sensation that was a problem before you started listening to this recording, is that taking that body part hostage? That's what I want to think of negotiations.

I think about hostage negotiations. I know you can have business negotiations, you can have negotiate the price of something, try and get it lower or higher, depending on which side of the desk you're sitting. But you think it from that perspective, that the, I suppose in some ways, it can feel like that, can't it? So someone's got an icky knee, and there's discomfort there.

I guess it can feel like that's taken over the knee. Like it's taken the knee hostage, or even the whole leg hostage, when it's a small part of the leg. I mean, it's an important part of the leg, but it's a small part compared to the rest of the leg.

The ankle, calves, shins, thighs. Thighs are a big, big old chunk of the leg, aren't they? Especially mine. I actually have the biggest thighs in history.

I do. I can actually, I'm going to walk you through a forest. I started a fire just from the friction of my thighs.

It didn't happen, I don't know why I'm saying it. So you've got your knee, and just one small part of the knee can sometimes feel like it's taking your knee hostage because of a physical sensation. I mean, sometimes I guess when we try to ignore or distract ourselves from a physical sensation, it can maybe be harder to know exactly how much of that body part is in reality being affected by that physical sensation.

However, when you do focus on something, I mean, there can be too much focusing as well. I mean, how many people do you know in your life who are constantly going on about their illness, or their whatever? It's almost like you want to avoid, if you see them in the street, you want to avoid them. You want to cross the street, or jump down a manhole, or just wish you could call a helicopter to come and pick you up.

But you can't because they've seen you. And even though you might really love them, you might absolutely adore the person, but it's like your heart sinks a little bit. Oh, I've got to listen to all their problems now for the next year.

It seems like a year, but it'll only be five minutes. But just that is time distortion. When someone's going on, and on, and on about all their woes, and about their suffering, and it doesn't, it's not going against, and I'm not mocking the suffering.

It's just, it's very hard, I find, and maybe you do too, to sometimes listen to it, especially if you're in a good mood. So I had a friend who, sometimes I just like, oh, he'd knock on the door, I dread it, because I knew it'd be like in a not great place. And on that particular day, I was in a good mood.

I was in a really good mood. I was uplifted. I was enjoying the day, just enjoying being alive, generally, you know, just, yeah, things are okay.

And then it's like, knock, knock, knock. Oh, man. And this is someone that I cared for deeply.

So it wasn't that I was being rude. It's just, this is real, realistically, like sometimes, oh, I got distracted by Vinnie barking. But yeah, it's like sometimes, in the same way, when, when there's someone who's like, they're constantly focusing on the negative, it's almost like that increases the negativity.

And someone's always focusing on the physical discomfort that maybe they had, they seem to get more of it. So we get what we focus on, we get what we think about, get more of what we think about. So when you start thinking about feeling relaxed, feeling calm, having your mind slowed down, and having that part of your body feel more calmer, more looser.

So it kind of in that middle bit where you're not focusing on it. But you're not ignoring it. You're not pushing it away, but you're not pulling it towards yourself.

It's a fine line. But then it's no longer fine. It's just normal.

It's almost, there's a certain state of mind. It might at first sound a little bit negative, but it can be negative depending on the situation. But sometimes, just not caring.

I don't mean about the other person, I'm talking about the body part, which was problematic before you started listening to me. Sometimes it's like, you know what, I don't care about that at the moment. I'm not bothered.

And then you stop pushing. You stop pulling. It's almost like you're pushing against the door.

And you realize that actually, you keep pushing it, trying to push it open, trying to push it open. And then you stop. You say, you know what, I don't care anymore.

I can't be bothered. You know, it'll open eventually. And then someone just comes in from outside.

And the door opens inwards, not outwards. It's an innie, not an outie. And you realize you put that effort into something that was pointless.

It's a little bit, well, it's probably nothing like this, but I'm going to give this as an analogy. I've got a fence outside, or it's a gate, a fence with a gate. And the gate bangs, especially when it's windy, like all day long.

So on a windy day, the gate just like opens and closes. There's no lock thing, you know, the, I was going to say the wazzle, whatever it is, the thing that you pull up, that's broken. So the gate just closes.

It doesn't actually close properly either. So that's why it keeps like blowing open and closing with the wind. Like, it's not like full on slamming, but it can be annoying.

It used to wind me up. I used to keep going out there, closing the gate, like pushing it closed. So it'd stop banging for a while, then someone would come in and they'd leave it open.

And I'd have to go down again and close the gate. And then I realized, you know what? I'm just not going to bother anymore. Keep getting up, walking down.

And this was in the winter, so it was cold. So I had to put some pants on. Well, it's not the only reason.

I mean, some of the neighbors complained. But anyway, I just thought, I don't care. And that attitude changed my response or my reaction to hearing the gate like slamming.

I mean, it's not even slamming, it's just banging occasionally. To the point where I don't even notice it anymore. Now, all I've got to do is try and find a way to do that with Vinny's barking.

But there's no way of knowing when he's going to do it because he just starts barking. He's barked about six times during this recording. And he goes from zero to a million in like a second.

Because my neighbor opposite is having a new kitchen put in. So the work people are up and down the stairs. He hardly barked at all last week.

Today, for some reason. What it is, it sounds almost like they're, that someone's touching the front door. That's what's weird about it.

Because I actually went out there myself earlier. Thought someone put something through the letterbox or someone's at the front door and knocked. No one there.

So I think that's might be what it is. Like, well, I mean, it's unlikely that they come in and knocking on the door and just, but it does sound like someone's pushing against the door. Which is why you're barking, isn't it, Vin? I told him off, so he's a bit grumpy with me now.

I was like, just stop it, please. Didn't bother you last week, did it? You weren't bothered last week by it. This has been going on, this is the third week it's been worked on.

So it's Monday today. All week last week and in the previous week, it started on Thursday. So this is the third week.

Like, actual week. Don't be grumpy, Vinny. I just want you to stop barking.

And I go up to him, he growls at me. Like, do not be growling at me, you growler. Little growler.

With such a little sausage, you know that. So sometimes, you know, the whole idea of, like, negotiating with it. It feels like maybe just giving it some space.

Sometimes just a little bit of acknowledgement. You know, like with a baby. I used to always, like, give the analogy with the thing that we're focusing on.

That physical feeling, that sensation that you used to have before you listened to this recording. Almost like a baby crying. And sometimes a baby cries for no other reason other than they just want to be held.

Or they just want to be, to see. A parent or a friendly face. They might not need changing.

They might not need food. They might not want to play. They might not want anything.

They're just happy just to see your face or to have a cuddle. And they go back to sleep. Sometimes that's all they need.

And I think it's the same with what we're talking about. Sometimes it can be like a baby. Just wants a bit of love, maybe.

Because you think about it. In reality, we can have respect and caring towards our body. But how much positivity do we have towards that part of the body, or that small part that's been playing up? I'm guessing not much kindness there at all.

Which makes sense, you know, I'm not judging it. But if it's an ongoing situation, an ongoing condition that you don't really need anymore. You don't need that physical sensation to let you know and to remind you that to be a bit more careful with that part of the body.

I want you to remember that. You don't need to be reminded. That alarm doesn't need to go off.

And sometimes I think with alarms, maybe you can just make it a little bit less sensitive. You ever get like car alarms and you put them in for the first time, or you get them new for the first time. And literally, every time there's a butterfly goes past, the alarm goes off.

Someone sneezes and in the next town, your car alarm goes off. Too sensitive. It needs to be retuned, or maybe just a bit more sensitive.

So that it gets back to normal. Because you know, it's not supposed to go off just because a little gust of wind. And then you get it changed, you get it refitted or fine tuned or just leave it as it is if you don't like your neighbors, I suppose.

So that can be something, a way of looking at this situation. We just fine tune it so that it's no longer as sensitive. You know, the alarm doesn't need to go off unless it needs to go off.

And there's something quite useful about that. Quite helpful. I think I realized what it is, what he's barking.

I've got the bathroom window open. And I think it's rattling the door. And that's what he's, that's what you're hearing, isn't it? I'm sorry, Vinnie, it was my fault.

I'm sorry. Now he's hearing something outside. It's like all ears, like, I suppose you've got the window in the bathroom open.

Outside in the garden, there's always the odd stuff going on. So you hear either dogs barking or kids playing. And because the kids are on holiday, so he can hear that.

All ears, ain't ya? Hey, always listening. Taking it all in. He's staring, he hasn't got a staring contest with me.

I can stare with you. I'm gonna stare your tails away, Vin. When we've done this, I'll get you a TREAT.

A T-R-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-T, I will. I won't say the word because then you won't leave me alone. So in a way, you could just ask, and I've done this in the past, and I've done it myself.

Ask the part of your body just to feel more comfortable, to relax. To safely leave your body. Just, you know, give you a rest.

And sometimes you can just do that and literally just sit back and wait. Trust that your body's listening, that your unconscious mind is listening, that, you know, there's that alignment between your mind and your body. Because it's constantly, you know, there's that constant continuity.

Continuity. That connection that's always there. I know that I've been focusing on the knee just as an example.

But when you decide to just, you know, ask politely. Just, you know, maybe just give me a break. Please feel comfortable, feel more relaxed.

You can put it in a sentence like, I'd like my whatever part of body to feel more relaxed. You could say it three times. And then just wait and observe.

Or maybe just carry on with what you were doing. Because when you focus on feeling more relaxed. As I said earlier, you think about it, you get more of it.

You get more of what we think about. So you're focusing on calmness, looseness, peaceful. And that's what you get more of.

Naturally, easily. So that brings me to the end of this recording, which was very much a natter really. It was just a chat, a chitty chatter natter.

It's going to take me ages to edit it because of all of the Vinny's barking breaks. And that's going to be interesting to try and it's going to take me probably about an hour. Just to edit the thing.

Yes, because of you. You want a treat? Are you hungry? Do you want your dinner? Do you want some food? Or do you want a treat? I don't know. Anyway, I'm going to go.

Thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy. And be gentle with yourself.

You deserve to feel safe. Lots of love. Bye.