(Overnight Music) #2 THREE PIGLETS - Jasons Bed Time Story Time

Hello, welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Storybooks for Bedtime. Something like that. I'll figure out a proper name for it but that's kind of what this is going to be.

So, only listen when you can safely close your eyes. And in these recordings, I just tell you a story that's from an old book that's out of copyright. And the excitement of my voice can send you to sleep.

And even though there may be background sounds, it doesn't really matter because you're not paying anything for this either, it's free. What do you expect? Well, I'm going to rent our recording studio, spend like £500 so I could make a recording. Anyway, sorry, I'll stop.

So, welcome. And this book I'm going to read today is called The Story of the Three Little Pigs. It's by Frederick Warne & Co.

With drawings by L. Leslie Brooke. And the front picture's got three pigs holding hands. Yeah.

So, The Story of the Three Little Pigs. Now, I've got like a vague memory about this particular story. But, you know, I'm still going to read it.

But, according to this, if it lets me... Oh, I don't know how many pages there are, but I'll just... There's another picture of some pigs. Oh, one's got a patch over his right eye. So, The Story of the Three Little Pigs.

Once upon a time, there was an old sow with three little pigs. And as she had not enough to keep them, she sent them out to seek their fortune. Okay, so she kicked the kids out of home.

That's nice. And there's a picture there of the big pig standing in front of the door and the three little pigs just walking off, smiling. Hmm.

The first that went off met a man with a bundle of straw and said to him, Please man, give me that straw to build me a house. Which the man did, and the little pig built a house with it. Presently came along a wolf and knocked at the door.

This is very fast moving, isn't it? Not messing around, they're going straight into the story. So he knocked at the door, the wolf knocked at the door and said, Hey little pig, little pig, let me come in. To which the pig answered, No, no, by the hair of my chinny chin chin, then I'll hoof and I'll poof and I'll blow your house down in.

One of them, said the wolf. He didn't say one of them. It's just that I had to move down the page.

I thought it was down because that's how I remember it from my childhood. So he huffed and he puffed and he blew his house in and ate up the little pig. It's not really child friendly, is it? It's only bacon.

Yeah, but that's not the point. That makes me like, you know what people say, well, don't eat, don't eat pork. Dirty animals, dirty animals.

Show me a clean animal. Show me one clean animal and dirty animals. Yeah, I've never ever seen a baby.

I've seen a baby. That's not the point, but I've never seen it like a baby's first words. Yeah, don't like pork, dirty animals.

Pigs are dirty animals. It's just another learnt ridiculousness. Yeah, don't like pigs, dirty animals.

Anyway, the second pig met a man with a bundle of furs. And he said, well, there's man, give me that furs to build a house. Which the man did.

And the pig built his house. But before he did, he said, before you go, man, can you tell me something? And the man said, well, what is it? And the little pig said, well, what's a furs? I don't understand what it is. What is it? And the man didn't know either.

Anyway, he built his house, little house. Then along came the wolf and said, little pig, little pig, let me come in. No, no, by the hair of my chinny chin chin.

That's what he answered. I don't know what. Not sure what the hair on his chin has got to do with him not letting the wolf in.

It doesn't really seem to make much logical sense. Anyway, the wolf says, then I'll puff and I'll huff and I'll blow your house in. So he huffed and he puffed and you can probably guess what happens next.

Yeah, he puffed and he huffed and at last, oh, he had to do it a couple of times. Had to do it a couple of times because it wasn't as easy as the straw house. And at last he blew the house down.

Oh, he did. Not in. This time he blew it down and ate up the second little pig.

Clearly he has no issues with cleanliness. And the third little pig met a man with a load of bricks. And said, please, man, give me those bricks to build a house with.

And so the man gave him the bricks and he built his house with them. Realistically, though, would one person be carrying enough bricks to build a house, just randomly carrying them around? Bricks are not light. You know, once you stack them on top of each other, they definitely weigh something.

A bit. And I know that it's a pig, but even little pigs that need. I mean, if it was like a one room house, it would be the size of a big dog kennel, wouldn't it? Or like an outside toilet.

That's a lot of bricks that take a good couple of two or three days to build. So I don't think he'd get all of those bricks in one go. And also, how did he carry? How did the little pig carry the bricks? And how did he build the house? Because it needs more than just bricks, doesn't it? I mean, you need cement and trowels and.

You know, all that stuff. So anyway, doesn't really go into too much detail. So he built the house with the bricks.

I wonder what's going to happen next. Oh, I'm on the edge of my hat. So the wolf came.

It's very prolific. The wolf constantly coming as he did to the other little pigs and said, little pig, little pig, let me come in. About a hair of my chin, chin, chin.

Again, maybe it's a genetic, I don't know, genetic thing. Genetic. Genetic.

You know, because they're all brothers. Doesn't say if they're boys or girls, actually. But they've got hairs on the chin, so they must, if they're young, then they're probably boys.

And I don't know. I mean, what has the hair and the chinny chin got to do? I know I've gone over this, but just, I find it hard to move on from it. There must be a reason.

Must be a reason. I mean, unless they all kind of rehearsed beforehand. And also, how does anybody know what they actually said, unless there was an observer? You know, recording it maybe on their phone to stick on YouTube.

In which case, why didn't they help the pigs? So, mind you, so the wolf came, and he did to the other, you know, he did to the other little pig and says, look, I've already done this bit. Little pig, little pig, let me come in. You, you, mini hair on my chinny chin chin.

Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your ass in. House, house, in. Well, he huffed and he puffed and he huffed and he puffed and he puffed and he huffed.

But he could not get the house down. When he found that he could not, with all his huffing and puffing, blow the house down, he said, little pig, I know where there is a nice field of turnips. Which sounds like a really random thing to say.

Where, said the little pig, are in Mr Smith's home field. And if you will be ready tomorrow morning, I will call for you and we will go together and get some dinner. Very well, said the little pig.

I will be ready. What time do you mean to go? Oh, six o'clock. Well, the little pig got up at five because he liked to do very long poos in the morning.

Nice big, long, smelly morning poo. When the wolf came, he said, little pig, are you ready? Oh, ready, said the little pig. I have been and come back again.

Got a nice pot full for dinner. The wolf felt very angry at this, but thought that he would be up to the little pig somehow or other. I don't know what that means.

So he said, little pig, I know where there is a nice apple tree. Where, said the pig, down at Mary Garden, replied the wolf. And if you will not deceive me, I will come for you at five o'clock tomorrow and we will go together and get some apples.

Well, the little pig woke at four the next morning and bustled up, did his morning poo and went off for the apples. Hoping to get back before the wolf came. But he had farther to go and had to climb the tree.

Well, oh yeah, and had to climb a tree, because that's where the apples live. So that's just as he was coming down from it, he saw the wolf coming, which, as you may suppose, frightened him very much. When the wolf came up, he said, little pig, what you're here before me, are they nice apples? Yes, very, very nice, said the little pig.

I will throw you one down, throw you down one. And he threw it so far, that while the wolf was gone to pick it up, the little pig jumped down and ran home. The next day, the wolf came again and said to the little pig, little pig, there is a fair in the town this afternoon, will you go? Oh yeah, said the pig, I will go, what time shall you be ready?

At three, said the wolf.

So the little pig went off before the time, as usual, got to the fair and bought a butter churn and was on his way home with it. When he saw the wolf coming, that wolf is prolific, then he could not tell what to do. So he got into the churn to hide, and in doing so, turned it around and it began to roll, and roll, and roll, and rolled down the hill with the pig inside it.

Because that's where he was, he was inside it, wasn't he? Hiding. How, not going to hide in it, and it falls over, tips over, and rolls down a hill, and suddenly, what he's in a hot air balloon, I mean, he's still going to be inside, isn't he? Anyway, it frightened the wolf so much that he ran home without going to the fair. He went to the little pig's house and told him how frightened he had been by a great round thing that came down the hill past him.

Then the little pig said, oh, I frightened you, did I? I had been to the fair and bought a butter churn, and when I saw you, I got into it and rolled down the hill. Then the wolf was very angry indeed, and declared he would eat up the little pig, and that he would get down the chimney after him. Bit of an overreaction, don't you think? You know, I mean, tell him off, you frightened me when you was rolling down a hill, but eating him, that's a little bit too far.

There's a line, isn't there? There's a line. When the little pig saw what he was about, he hung on the pot. When the little pig saw what he was about, he hung on the pot full of water, and made up a blazing fire.

And just as the wolf was coming down, took off the cover of the pot, and in fell the wolf. That'd be quite a big pot, wouldn't it? Why would a little pig have a pot big enough to fit a wolf in? But they don't go into details. And the little pig put on the cover again in an instant, boiled him up and ate him for supper, and lived happily ever after.

That was a bit of a gruesome ending, really, wasn't it? I mean, I don't think that wolves are pigs' natural prey. Boiled wolf. Oh, I mean, if anything, it seemed like there was an opportunity for them two to be friends, because they'd shared this adventure together.

They clearly enjoyed each other's company. I just thought it would have been quite nice if they would have, you know, just see where it went. Who knows? I mean, it could lead to something romantic.

But no, they were determined to eat each other. I mean, they were literally doing that. I didn't realize it was a literal thing.

I thought it was, well, I thought they were just curious about each other. So, yeah, that's the end. He lived happily ever after.

I wonder if he cried wolf. The end.