(Long Music) #15 JACK AND HIS DIRT BOX - Jasons Bed Time Story Time

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Jason's Bedtime Storytimes. And please only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes. Now, I'm going to read a story.

It's an English fairy tale from a long, long, long time. Very old, very old, very old. And it's called Jack and His Golden Snuffbox.

You got it right. It's called Jack and His Golden Snuffbox. Now, I don't know this story, so I'm reading it for the first time.

So, and according to this, it's a fairly long story. But, you know, please enjoy. And I take no responsibility for the content at all.

Once upon a time, and a very good time it was, though it was neither in my time, nor in your time, nor in anyone else's time. There was an old man and an old woman, and they had one son, and they lived in a great forest. That was all one sentence.

And their son never saw any other people in his life, but he knew that there were more in the world besides his father and mother. Because he had lots of books and he used to read every day about them. So he never, ever saw another person.

Can you believe that? Wow, what a lucky boy. And when he read about some pretty young women, he used to go mad to see some of them. Till one day, when his father was out cutting wood, he told his mother that he wished to go away to look for his living in some other country, and to see some other people besides them two.

I wonder how that conversation went. I really like you both, but I'm fed up looking at you. I need to see another person.

And he said, I see nothing at all here but great trees around me, and if I stay here, maybe I shall go mad before I see anything. The young man's father was out all this time, when this talk was going on between him and his poor old mother. The old woman begins by saying to her son, before leaving, Well, well, my poor boy, if you want to go, you better go, hadn't you?

Yeah, yeah, and God be with you.

And the old woman fought for the best when she said that. But stop a bit before you go. Which would you like best for me to make you? A little cake and bless you, or a big cake and curse you? Do, do, said he.

Make me a big cake. Maybe I shall be hungry on the road. Why would you want to curse him? That's a really weird thing to say, isn't it? Could you imagine that? Mum, I'm going to head out.

There ain't no work around here. I'm going to try and get a job. I'm going to have to travel out and try and live a life and see what I can do for myself.

Are you okay with that? That's fine, darling. Would you like me to make you a cake and wish you well, or make you a bigger one and hope that everything goes really badly for you? No, that doesn't make sense. She wasn't sweet at all, was she, really? Anyway, make me a big cake.

The old woman made the big cake and she went on top of the house and she cursed him as far as she could see him. This isn't a good start to a story, is it? I mean, I realise back, it's long enough ago that maybe they didn't have a name for her particular condition. He presently meets with his father and the old man says to him, Where are you going, my poor boy?

When the son told the father the same tale as he told his mother, Well, said his father, I'm sorry to see you going away, but if you've made your mind to go, it's better for you to go.

The poor lad had not gone far when his father called him back, and the old man drew out of his pocket a golden snuff box and said to him, Here, take this little box and put it in your pocket, and be sure not to open it until you are near your death. But dad, I'm coming back, I'm not going away forever. He's only going to try and find a job.

Well, I'm now leaving forever. Can you curse me please, mum, and give me something to open when I die, please dad. Thanks.

Anyway, poor Jack went off the road and left, and he walked till he was tired and hungry, for he had eaten all of his cake upon the road. A bit of a greedy lad, wasn't he? But then we don't really know how big the cake was, because if the small cake might have been a cupcake, which sometimes, depending who's watching you, can be just one mouthful, can't it?

Maybe not if you're in public, you might decide to break it into bits and take a nibble, but if no one's around, just squash it in your face. Maybe.

Perhaps he shouldn't. Perhaps he did. Anyway, and by this time the night was upon him, so he was hungry and could hardly see his way before him, because it was so dark.

But he could see a light a long way before him. So he couldn't see before him, but he could see a light. So he could see before him, but not really.

He could see a light though, in the distance. And he headed towards it. He found the back door and knocked at it.

Skip right through to it. Oh, he found a house. No.

So the light is the big light with a door. With a back door. Because all lights have a back door.

My lightbulb, back door. Every light, back door. Get on with it, OK.

He found the back door and knocked at it, till one of the maid servants came and asked him what he wanted. He said, so you're telling me, all his life, he's never seen another person, but all he ever had to do was walk up the end of the road. The time it takes to eat a cake.

And there's people there. Now that is a sheltered life. He said that night was on him and he wanted to get some place to sleep.

The maid servant called him into the fire. Called him into the fire. I guess he wasn't actually standing in the fire.

He said, come on. It was more towards the fire to get warm. And gave him plenty to eat.

Good meat and bread and beer. Good meat and bread and beer. And as he was eating his food by the fire, there came the young lady to look at him.

And she loved him well and he loved her. They really fast track this, don't they? Can you imagine that? Haven't seen a person your whole life. Get a big cake, walk up the road eating it.

You find a light with a door in it. And there's a lady in there and you both fall in love by the fireplace. Whilst eating good meat, bread and beer.

So they loved each other instantly. As you do. And the young lady ran to tell her father.

And said there was a pretty young man in the back kitchen. And immediately the gentleman came to see him. And questioned him.

And asked what work he could do. Jack said, the silly fellow, that he could do anything. He meant that he could do any foolish bit of work.

But that would be wanting about the house. So he didn't really mean he could do anything. Well, said the gentleman to him.

If you can do anything at eight o'clock in the morning. I have a great lake and some of the largest man of war vessels. Sailing before my mansion.

And one of the largest vessels must fire a royal salute. And the last round must break the leg of the bed. Where my young daughter is sleeping.

And if you don't do that, you'll have to forfeit your life. Yeah, all right then, said Jack. And away he went to his bed.

And said his prayers quietly and slept. Till it was nearly eight o'clock. And he had hardly any time to think.

What he was to do. Till all of a sudden he remembered about the little golden box. That his father gave him.

And he said to himself, well, okay. Well, well, I never was much. I never was so near my death as I am now.

And then he felt in his pocket and had a little rummage around. And he drew the little box out. And when he opened it.

Out there popped three little red men. Up till now I was really on board. I'll be honest with you.

I was on board with everything that was going on. Now it seems a bit silly. A little bit far-fetched.

Three little red men. Okay, let's just stay with it. Where are we? And asked Jack.

What is your will with us? Well, said Sir Jack. I want a great lake. And some of the largest men of all vessels in the world.

Before this mansion. And one of the largest vessels to fire a royal salute. And the last round to break one of the legs of the bed.

Where this young lady is sleeping. All right? Hmm. Okay.

Said the little men. Go to sleep. So Jack did.

He went back to work. Went back to sleep. It's hardly time to bring the words out of his mouth.

To tell the little men. What to do. But what.

What is struck at eight o'clock. When a clock went to eight. It didn't go eight.

It's eight o'clock. You know. Ding ding.

When bang. Bang. When one of the large men of all vessels.

And it made Jack jump out of bed. To look through the window. And I can assure you.

It was a wonderful sight for him to see. After being so long with his father. And a mother.

Living in a wood. By this time. Jack dressed himself.

And said his prayers. And came down laughing. For he was proud.

Ever so proud. Because. The thing was done so well.

The gentleman comes to him. And says to him. Well my young man.

I must say. That you are very. Very clever indeed.

Come have some breakfast. And the gentleman. The gentleman then tells him.

Now. There are two more things. You have to do.

Then you shall have my daughter in marriage. Oh really. Oh.

Jack gets his breakfast. And has a good squint at the young lady. And they look at each other.

And he thinks. Is she really worth all this hassle. And he said.

Well I don't really know. I've got nothing to compare her to have I. And I imagine all women have got four legs. So another thing that the gentleman told him.

To do. Was to fell all of the green trees for miles. Around by eight o'clock in the morning.

And to make. My long story short. It was done.

And. That's a big missing bit isn't it. I want to hear about the trees.

Anyway. Doesn't want to tell us about trees. It was done.

And it pleased the gentleman well. The gentleman said to him. The other day.

The other thing you have to do. And it was the last thing. You must get me a great castle.

Standing on twelve golden pillars. And there must come regiments of soldiers. And go through their drill.

At eight o'clock. The commanding officer must say. Shield her up.

All right. All right said Jack. When the third and last morning came.

The third great feat was finished. And he had the young daughter in marriage. But oh dear.

There is worse yet to come. The gentleman. Now makes a large hunting party.

And invites all the gentlemen. Around the country to it. And to see the castle as well.

And by this time Jack. Has a beautiful horse. And a scarlet dress to go with them.

So now he's wearing dresses. He's wearing a scarlet dress. Which is fine.

On that morning. His valet. When putting Jack's clothes by.

After changing them to go a hunting. Put his hand in one of Jack's waistcoat pockets. And pulled out the little golden snuff box.

As poor Jack left behind in a mistake. Oh. It looks to me.

Like Jack's valet. Valet. Was a bit of a. Dirty smelly thief.

Dirty smelly thief. Looking through his pockets. Finding the snuff box.

Dirty smelly thief. Anyway. They seem to appear everywhere.

Watch out for the dirty smelly thieves. And that man opened the little box. And there hopped the three little red men out.

Forgot about them. And asked him what he wanted with them. Well.

Said the valet to them. Oh valet. I want this castle to be moved from this far place.

And moved far across the sea. All right. Said the little red men.

To him. Do you wish to go with it? Yes. Said he.

Well get up. They said to him. And away they went.

Far and far over the great sea. So they moved the castle. Doesn't really go into specifics does it.

It's not. You know. Now the grand hunting party.

Comes back. And the castle upon the twelve golden pillars. Had disappeared.

To the great disappointment of those gentlemen. As they had not seen it before. I think disappointment would be the wrong word.

It would be more like. You're a liar mate. You said you had a castle.

You lied to us. Did you not think we were going to find out eventually. When we were sitting out in a field.

Eating raspberries. Like you know it's like. Do you like my castle? No there is no castle.

Oh. We were going to see it. We were going to do blindfolders.

For the rest of the day. Give us a little guided tour. Tell us where things.

Should be. So the poor little Jack. Poor silly Jack.

Is threatened. By taking his beautiful young wife from him. For taking.

Them in the way he did. But the gentleman at last made an agreement with him. And he is to have a twelve months and a day.

To look for her. And off he goes with a good horse. And money in his pocket.

So he set away to look for the castle. It's quite a big object isn't it. But anyway.

You'd think. The question would be. How did a castle move.

All by itself. But no it's like. You've got.

You've got a year. To find it. Here's some spending money.

Now get on your horse. Make sure you've got your dress on. Now.

Poor Jack goes in search. Of his missing castle. Over hills.

Dales valleys. And mountains. Through woolly woods.

And sheep walks. Further than I can tell you. Or even ever intend to tell you.

Until at last he comes to the place. Where. The king.

Of all the little mice in the world lives. King of all the little mice in the world. There was one of the little mice.

One century at the front gate. Leading up to the palace. And he didn't try to stop Jack from going in.

Oh he did. He did try to stop Jack from going in. Sorry I got that wrong.

He asked the little mouse. Where does the king live? I should like to see him. This one sent another with him to show him the place.

And when the king saw him. He called him in. And the king questioned him.

And asked him. Where he was going. What he was up to.

Well Jack told him all the truth. And. You know.

He'd lost the great castle. He was going to go look for it. And he had a whole 12 months and a day to find it.

And Jack asked him whether he knew anything about it. And the king said. Nope.

But I am the king of the little mice in the world. And I am recording them all up in the morning. Maybe they have seen something of it.

Then Jack got a good meal and a bed. And in the morning he and the king. Went onto the fields.

And the king called all the mice together. And asked them whether they had seen the great beautiful castle. Standing on golden pillars.

And all the little mice said no. There was not one of them that had seen it. The old king said to him that.

You know he had two other brothers. One is the king of all the frogs. And my older brother.

Who is the oldest. He is the king of all the birds in the world. And if you go there.

Maybe you know something about the missing castle. The king said to him. Leave your horse here with me.

Till you come back and. Take one of my best horses under you. And give this cake to my brother.

He will know then. Who you got it from. Mind and tell him.

I am well and should like. Dearly to see him. And then the king and Jack shook hands together.

And when Jack was going through the gates. The little mouse asked him. Should he go with him.

And Jack said to him. No I shall get myself into trouble with the king. And the little thing told him.

It would be better for you to let me go with you. Maybe I shall do some good for you. Just sometime.

You know. Without you knowing it. I could help you.

I could help you. You know. You know what I mean.

I could do things. Jump. Jump up then.

And the little mouse ran up the horse's leg. And made it dance. And Jack said.

We haven't got time for that. Let's just. Get on a merry way.

So they did. Now Jack. After wishing good morning to the king.

And pocketing the little mouse. He trudged on his way. And such a long way he had to go.

He was knackered. He was. It took him all to the next day.

And at last he found the place. And there was one of the frogs on a sentry. And a gun around his shoulder.

And did not try to hinder Jack. He did try to hinder Jack from going in. But when Jack said to him.

That he wanted to see the king. He allowed him to pass. And Jack made up to the door.

The king came out. And asked him his business. And Jack told him all.

You know from the beginning to the end. The whole story. Well well come in.

He gets good entertainment that night. And in the morning the king. Made such a funny sound.

And collected all the frogs in the world. And he asked him. Did they know or see anything.

Of a castle. And he put them up on 12 golden pillows. And they all made a curious sound.

And said no. Jack. Had to take another horse.

And a cake. To his king's brother. Who is the king of all the fowls of the air.

And Jack was going through the gate. Fowls I think birds. The little frog.

So he. Jack was going through the gate. The little frog that was on sentry.

Asked John. Should he go with him. Why didn't he ask Jack.

Anyway Jack refused. For a bit. He said no.

And then he said I'll just get jump up. It's fine. And Jack put him into his other waistcoat pocket.

And away he went. Again on his great long journey. And the great long story.

Of that great long journey. It was three times. As long as this time.

As it was the first day. However he found the place. And there was a fine bird on sentry.

Guarding the place. And Jack passed him. And he never said a word to him.

He talked to the king. And told him everything. All about the castle.

Well. Said the king to him. You should know in the morning.

From my birds. Whether they know anything. Or not.

That's a bird sound. Jack put up his horse in a stable. And then went to bed.

After having something to eat. And when he got up in the morning. The king and he went on to the field.

And there the king made some funny noises. And there came all the fowls. That were in all of the woods.

Of all of the world. And the king asked him. Did you see the fine castle? And all the birds answered.

No. Well. Said the king.

Where is the great bird? They had to wait then for a long time. For the eagle to make his appearance. And when at last he came.

All in a perspiration. Did know eagles could sweat. After sending two little birds.

High up in the sky. To whistle on him. To make all the haste.

He possibly could. The king asked the great bird. Did he see the great castle? And the bird said.

Yeah. I came from like where it is now. I was like just there.

Well. Said the king. This young gentleman.

Has lost it. And you must. You must go with him back to it.

To stop. But stop till you get a bit of something to eat first. They killed a thief.

And then sent the best. It. It is a blasé sentence.

They killed a thief. And sent the best parts of it to feed the eagle. On his journey over the seas.

And had to carry Jack on his back. So. Dirty smelly thief.

Wow. Now when they came in sight of the castle. They did not know what to do.

To get the. Not to do. To get the little golden box.

Well the little mouse said to them. Leave me down. And I will get the little box for you.

So the mouse stole into the castle. Got hold of the box. And when he was coming.

Down the stairs. It fell down. And he was very.

Very near being caught. He came. Running out with it.

Laughing his best. Have you got it? No sorry. That's not Jack.

Have you got it? Jack said to him. He said yes I have. And off they went back again.

And left the castle behind. As they were all of them. Jack Mouse Frog and Eagle.

Passing over the great sea. They fell to quarrelling. About which it was.

That got the little box. Till down it slipped. Into the water.

So they were arguing. Arguing who was responsible. For this heroic act.

Of repossessing. The little box. With the three little men inside.

Until they got carried away. And they dropped it. And it fell into the sea.

Went to the water. It was by them. It was by them looking at it.

And handling. Handling it. From one hand to the other.

That they dropped the little box. To the bottom of the sea. We'll we'll.

Said the frog. I knew that I would have to do something. So you had better get a big gulp.

Down in the water. And the. They let him.

They let him go. He hopped. Hopped off.

Hop along. And he was down for three days. And three nights.

So what was the eagle just. What floating. For that time.

Three days and three nights. And up he comes. Did he get it.

And he told him. No. Well.

What were you doing there then. I asked him. Nothing at all.

He said. Only I wanted to. I want my full breath.

And the poor little frog went down the second time. And he was down for a day and a night. And up he brings it.

And away. They did go. After being there.

Four days and nights. And after a very long tug. Overseas and mountains.

Tugging. Tugging over seas and mountains. And.

Arrive at the palace. Of the old king. Who is the master.

Of all the birds in the world. And the king is very proud. To see them.

And has a hearty welcome. Conversation. Jack.

Opens the little box. And told the little men to go back. And to bring the castle here to them.

And. And then he said. And all of you.

Make as much haste back again. As you possibly can. The three little men went off.

They said. Okay. We're going now.

Okay. See you soon. And they came in.

They were afraid to go to the gentleman lady. And when they came near the castle. They got to the castle.

They were afraid to go. To it until the gentleman and the lady. And all the servants were gone.

Out to some dance. And there was no one left behind. Except a cook.

And a maid with her. And the little red men asked them. Which would they rather.

Go or stop behind. And they both said. I will go with you.

And the little man told them. To run upstairs quick. There were no sooner up there.

In one of the drawing rooms. Than here comes just in sight. The gentleman and lady.

And all the servants. But it's too late. Off the castle went.

At full speed. With the women laughing at them. Through the window.

While they made motions of them to stop. But all to no purpose. They were nine days on their journey.

In which they did try to. Keep the Sunday holy. When one of the little men.

Turned to be the priest. The other the clerk. And the third presided as the organ.

And the women were the singers. For they had a grand chapel. In the castle already.

Not sure where this is going. Very remarkable. There was a discord made in the music.

And one of the little men. Ran up one of the organ pipes. To see where the bad sound came from.

When he found out. It only happened to be. That the two women were laughing.

At the little red man. Stretching his little legs. Full length on the bass pipes.

Also his two arms. At the same time. With his little red nightcap.

Which he never forgot to wear. And what they never witnessed before. Could not help calling forth.

Some good merriment. While on the face of the deep. That's a long sentence.

And poor thing. Through them not going on. With what they begun with.

They very near came to danger. As the castle was once. Very near sinking.

In the middle of the sea. At length. After a merry journey.

They come again. To Jack and the king. The king was quite struck.

With the sight of the castle. And going up the golden stairs. Went to see inside.

The king was very much pleased. With the castle. But poor Jack's.

Time of a twelve months. To a draw into a close. And he wished to go home.

To his young wife. Gives orders to the three little men. To get ready by the next morning.

At eight o'clock. To be off to the next brother. And to stop there for one night.

Also to proceed from there. To the last. Or the youngest brother.

The master of the mice in the world. All the mice in the world. In such place.

Where the castle shall be left. His care. Until it's sent for.

Jack takes a farewell. Of the king. And thanks him very much.

For his hospitality. Away from Jack. And his castle again.

And stopped one night. In that place away. They went again to the third place.

And there left the castle. Under his care. As Jack had to leave.

The castle behind. On horse. Which he left there.

When he first started. Now. Poor Jack.

Leaves his castle behind. And faces towards home. And after having.

So much merriment. With the three brothers. Every night.

Jack became sleepy on horseback. And would have lost the road. If it not for the.

Little men. At last he arrived. Weary and tired.

And they did not seem to receive him. With any kindness whatsoever. Because he had not found.

The stolen castle. And to make it worse. He was disappointed.

In not seeing his young. And beautiful wife. To come and meet him.

Through behind. Being hindered. By their parents.

But that did not stop long. Jack. Put full power on.

And dispatched the little men. Off to bring the castle from there. And they soon got there.

Jack shook hands with the king. Returned. Returned many thanks.

For his kingly kindness. In minding the castle for him. And then Jack.

Instructed the little men to spur him. And put speed on. Speedos.

And off they went. And were not long before they reached. Their journey's end.

When out comes the young wife. To meet him. With a fine lump of a young son.

And they all lived happily. Ever. After.

That's the end of the story. Now go to sleep.