(music) (10 hours) #1455 Let me bore you to sleep

Hello, welcome to jasonnewland.com and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name's Jason Newland. Vinnie has just had a sausage but he wants more sausages and he's now whining.

Never satisfied, never, never, never, never, never satisfied. Only listen when you can. Safely close your eyes.

That's weird. Okay, right. So I've been this is supposed to be well it is Monday.

It's not supposed to be Monday is actually Monday, the 6th of October 2025. And I know it's kind of Monday's boring objects, but I'm not going to do that. Although I am I'm gonna the Monday's boring objects the subject today is going to be I suppose website promotion.

You might think I'm just going to talk about your website. Well, yeah, but I'll talk about what I've done in the past over the last you know, 20 odd years. So well, I've had websites since 2001.

That's the first website I had. Was it not 2000 2000. So I, before I go any further, further, further, further, I really notice the desk squeaking when I make a recording, much more than the rest of the time.

Apart from early in the morning. And in the afternoon. Oh, okay.

So yeah, I want to say a big thank you. First of all, to Paul. And to say thank you, Paul, for your kind PayPal gift.

I posted a thank you on the Jason Newlands boring group, but I don't seem to be able to contact you any other way. So just want to say thank you. Very much appreciated.

Very much as a lovely surprise. And also, if you've got any questions for this week's Q&A Friday, which will be on the 10th of October 2025. Please also go to my Jason Newlands or your Jason Newlands boring group and ask some questions because last week I had one question.

So it'd be good to get a few this week. Also, say hello to Laura as well. And kind of what I've been doing also to Christine.

So Christine enjoyed one of my podcasts. And yeah, so I want to thank you for your kind words, when you leave reviews and that. So I've been doing a couple of things.

I've spent all weekend doing this. The first one which was going through comments and reviews to post onto my website. So I started off going to YouTube.

And I, I basically posted all the Oh, what's, what's that? That's strange. Okay. So going to all reviews.

So I've got a lot of reviews now. And I've posted, but some of these, the ones on YouTube. Now I just saw the one that Vinnie posted.

My dad keeps ignoring me. I'm Vinnie and my daddy makes these podcasts. When he should be talking, taking me for walks and give me treats.

Grrrr. A bit cheeky. He is a cheeky little monkey.

And so what I've been doing, I've been going through the various messages. And it's taken a long time to do it. A long time.

But I managed to, I don't know how many is on each page. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23. It's probably a couple of hundred reviews now.

So I did YouTube first. And then I did Facebook, I went through the Facebook. So the Facebook.

So did YouTube first, I'm just having a look. Okay, so put down the name, the YouTube name of the person. So if you click on it, yeah, so YouTube name.

Oh, okay. Is that it? So you can see who, you know, who left the comment. If, if it's actually.

Okay, right. So yeah, that's what I've done really. So I did all the YouTube ones like Chloe, Christine, Darby, lots of different people.

And I've taken I've only written down what the people actually said. Dimitri, it's another one. So that's that's done.

And then as I got further on, I ended up doing Facebook and Facebook from the Jason Newlands Boring Group. But I've not gone through my page yet. Like the normal Jason Newland, you know, Facebook page, or the Jason Newland hypnotist page either.

So there's going to be a few more in there. The problem is, so I've got, I don't know, probably got a couple of hundred now on there. I don't it's hard to tell.

And there's 10 pages and 12345678910. It seems to be about 25 on each page. So maybe 250.

So it's taken me all weekend to do this. Including part day as well. And so yeah, that's what I've done.

So I've gone through these. And then on the Facebook ones, I've just put the first name of the person on Facebook. But as I said, none of them are made up apart from the video one that I did, obviously, but it's all like genuine comments and reviews have been left.

And then today, what I did is, or yesterday I set up the analytics for my website, because I had no idea if I was getting anyone actually visit the website. But it turns out I am. Which is good.

So yeah, it's definitely grown. I've only had was grown. I mean, I've only had it on there for two days, I think.

Five, six, fifth and six, maybe the fourth, maybe the fourth, the fourth as well, fourth to the six. Right. Okay, so it's only the fifth and the sixth.

So I've only had five. So as I said, it's not a lot, but it's still it's growing. Although it's not growing because it's less than yesterday.

So forgetting that. So that's all right. So I'm just like playing around with that.

And then what I've done is on Facebook, I have started some ads. Not ads as in for the listeners to listen to. But adverts as in to try and get more people listening, listening.

It's where is it? Okay, go to the dashboard. I've got two. And I also got locked out of my Facebook account while I was doing it, which isn't good.

But there you go. What surprised me is how many views I'm getting on my Facebook page every day. That surprised I didn't think I was getting any.

But I am. But every day people are. I mean, it's the interactions gone up 451% over the last 28 days.

I do the last 90 days. Yeah, so yesterday was, mind you I was on Facebook quite a bit. So that that pretty makes sense.

So it went up a bit. But then I was on Facebook on Saturday, probably even more. And that was way lower.

So and on the 26th of September, I wasn't on Facebook at all. And that was high. It's kind of weird, really.

I don't know if I put in custom. How far back can we go? January the 1st. I'll just go seal.

No, not 90 days. Come on custom. So if I go to 1st of January, is this as boring as the stats? I don't know.

I don't know. But that's what I've been trying to do is, what is the day today? October. It's the 6th, the 5th, the 6th.

That doesn't make sense. It says custom. Oh, got it.

Wow. So January to January. That's very, very strange.

How strange. So according to this, I've had 24,211 views on my podcast page since January. It's not a huge amount, but it's a lot more than I thought.

I thought maybe 20 or 30. Yeah. And I don't, I mean, does that include the Facebook group? I don't know.

Oh, by the way, if you'd like to join the Facebook group, oh, it does. It does include that. And maybe that's all it includes.

Maybe that's all it is. I don't know. So what I've done is I have got two adverts set up.

And they're going to be on Facebook. One is promoting the Jason Newlands boring group on Facebook. And the other one is promoting my website.

While promoting the podcast, really, but my website. So what I'll do is have a look. They've only been running for are they're both active, they've only been active for like an hour or two.

So I've had 50 views on the group one, I've had 50 views, 45 views with 50 viewers. How can I have more viewers and views? That's weird, isn't it? But no link clicks, no one's clicked the link. So I've spent 34 pence without any link clicks.

That doesn't sound right, does it? The website, nothing so far. I mean, that literally is only been an hour that's been running. If that apparently it takes about 24 hours to get it all right up and running properly.

For Facebook to get it all synchronized or whatever. So with the preview of the where was it? So to run in few results. Nothing is showing professional dashboard.

I just want to have a look. You know, sometimes you just want to have a look, you know, I mean, just want to have a look. But as I said, one is why is he not showing it? insights, asset, interactions, audience.

This is boring me now. Blimey. All tools.

I mean, there is a comments manager here. Because this is a problem I had, right? I was going through years and years. I've got seven years, I think, of the Jason Newlands boring group to go through to find people's comments when they're there.

And so I was posted something nice. I don't post I'm not going to put a review on the website of something that someone said that, you know, perhaps is less than beautiful, you know. But generally, the problem is the reviews, because there's what the comments rather are so many over that period.

I got back to about I managed to get back to by scrolling that is 2023 around September, October. And it took me over half an hour to scroll down that far on the laptop. Because I had I was down to, I think I completed 2024 2025 2024.

And I put the laptop to sleep, I woke up and I thought, Oh, I just start all over again with Facebook to scroll down and keep scrolling down. And it doesn't seem any way that I can actually, well, there might be a way, but I don't know a way to scrape Facebook and find everything. All comments, okay, that's what I want all comments.

But they're not coming up is too many. It's way too many. Which is fine, but it's not fine because it's so many.

And I want to find more and complete what I started because I mean, these are all genuine comments and messages posted on my Facebook page on YouTube. So nothing's but as I said, it's not made up. I keep saying that so maybe maybe it's all made up.

No, it's not none of Are you sure? I think I'm pretty sure. If it was made up, I'd be putting much nicer stuff about myself. He's transformed my world.

I was I couldn't sleep and I went to bed and I woke up and I was six inches taller and I was 15 years younger. Everything was perfect. No.

There's a reason I don't make videos because the faces I pull when I do those voices is disturbing me, which is ironic because I can't actually see myself. I'm not looking in the mirror. But I don't even realize I'm making the face until just then.

And I'm just got my face scrunched up. Okay, fair enough. So that that's what's going on at the moment.

It's what I've been trying to do. There is a few other things I need to do for the website. But ultimately, because because because it is my website, it basically is a podcast, isn't it? So a podcast on the latest podcast episodes.

And there's a lot on there. There's a lot. And so I'm just I'm thinking people are only going to listen if they know about me.

If they don't know about me, they're not going to listen. Which is exactly the same. I've just said exactly the same thing really just two different ways but and the only way anyone's getting well I suppose I think some people found me by accident.

A happy little accident. I don't know how many happy accidents there are but that sounds like quite a happy one. You know, I could really do with a nice big chocolate bar but I'm not I can't well I can't because I've got no food.

I've got food I've got no chocolate though. Well, I do have a Cornetto ice cream in the freezer. That's yelling.

He'd be he'd be like me. Like me, baby. And there's two actually I'm thinking I won't eat all two.

There's also a yogurt in the fridge. So I'm thinking I wasn't thinking but now I am thinking that's a mixture isn't a yogurt, strawberry yogurt and a Cornetto. A strawberry Cornetto.

That's a bit of a mixture there. I quite like the one good thing about eating this strawberry Cornetto is Vinnie can have some. We can't have the Cornetto bit because that's got chocolate in it but the actual ice cream once I've once I've eaten the top of it and then it's just ice cream he can have some of that.

So he's very happy. And then there's he likes yogurts as well. There was a time there was that I would put I would literally get a yogurt bar and I would fill it with chocolate.

Maltesers used to be one of my favourites and I'd fill it completely or what I would do is get a crunchy bar and I'd break it up into the yogurt. In kind of an unsociable way like with my teeth. Like that and it'll just crumble right over the place I try and catch it in the in the yogurt jar.

Back in 2011 I went through a bit of a manic a bit of a manic phase. I don't I think I did yeah a little bit of a a period and I was making these vlogs these were Jason chat vlogs doing it every day and what on one of them I had a laughing fit but it wasn't because anything was funny I was just laughing just laughing every just very strange I was getting extremely excited not not excited you know but and in one of those videos I poured a yogurt on my head.

I actually this I had hair I've got hair now but I actually had I mean this is 2011 so it's 14 years ago my hair was all right back then it was receding a little bit of grey not a huge amount you know I was I could still manage to get a girlfriend I was kind of I wasn't I wasn't completely past my sell-by date.

Well maybe I was past my sell-by date but I wasn't you know you could still you know and you could buy something that's past the sell-by date but still okay to eat.

I was kind of that I was I was past my sell-by date but I was I was still edible that sounds wrong but you know I was still okay kind of not with a yogurt on the head but I'm just like generally like a little hat it looked like a little hat that had thrown up all over my so a little plastic hat oh my tummy just went weird I gave Uncle Sausage's mobile phone to a neighbour today because I thought you know I didn't want it it's an android phone

it's only probably a year or two old actually it's not not bad thing I mean it's not a cheap phone but I use Apple and I've been using Apple phones or iPhones for a long time now like too long to change I'm kind of I don't want to change now I don't have to learn something new so I actually ended up giving away a better phone than the one I've already got because mine's probably six years old now yeah probably six years maybe five years that one was probably a year

or two this squeak you hear that squeaky desk squeaky desk I remember once I spent and this is a long it's a long time ago this is well not a long time but it's probably seven years six years ago seven years I had a different YouTube channel to the one I got now and I spent about 200 pound promoting my videos on maybe less than that but it was it was still a fair bit of money on YouTube like it wasn't spam I actually used the YouTube platform to promote to

promote my own videos and they shut me down after that I mean it did improve it improved my increased my viewership subscribers and all that stuff but then they shut me down I mean what really I couldn't believe it I was ever so surprised I don't know why that's funny I was ever so surprised ever so surprised oh it has been one of the nicest days today weather-wise I mean we've had like over the weekend maybe Friday as well I can't remember really windy like proper gale force winds in the

UK or across Britain or whatever you want to call it but today there was a light breeze it wasn't warm this morning but this afternoon it was nice it was I mean I personally I'm not one of these people that looks and sees it sunny and decides to walk around in shorts and a t-shirt because I'm able to realize that it's October and it's not summer and although it might be sunny it's not shorts and t-shirt weather in October some would argue and by the way what is it with adult

men wearing shorts now I stopped wearing shorts when I left junior school so why are people walking around in shorts I mean like actually like day-to-day shorts I understand if you're on a beach or if you're on holiday I don't but like actually walk around like like it's okay like no one's gonna notice all those knobbly knees wobbling around knobbling around when did that happen or am I just is it always been like that and perhaps I've just never noticed before I don't know I generally don't wear shorts it's because

oh I know it's gonna sound weird but if I go out in shorts and especially if I go onto the main road I'm worried about the traffic Vinnie just did the really weird fart are you okay Vinnie do you need a poo-poo do you need a toilet should I go outside for a toilet right I'm back he had a wee-wee but that's all he did I heard him fart I was thinking oh but no it wasn't it wasn't an indicator of a certain bodily function requirement maybe he was just having

fun I don't know maybe just contributing to the podcast pod pod pod podcast like he is now with his little bone thing that he's chewing on just discovered a nice new little game to play is say verbally out loud the opposite of what's happening you can kind of do that with a dog so I said I got to the stairs the bottom of coming back upstairs I said okay then downstairs and he walked upstairs I said good girl and I got to my door I said I'll just unlock no I'll

just I'll just lock the door unlocked it I said now go out go out the door out the flat and he goes into the flat I said I'll just open the door I closed it and I said I'll just unlock the door and I locked it take the chain off and I took the chain on and it's weird but I had a sense of accomplishment only as I verbalize it to you now do I realize how ridiculous that is and I don't think I'm going to win any awards today do

you that was ridiculous I was just yeah maybe it's not a good idea I don't know how long I could keep going as well because eventually I mean I might start end up doing it automatically and that's probably not a good place to go you know I mean so oh there's been three active users in the last 30 minutes on my website that's nice but I haven't had any as far as I'm aware haven't had any new people join my what's it group my Facebook group but I haven't had more

well I don't know I've had 68 views from 65 viewers but no clicks so no one's actually visited so I've spent 44 pence out of two pound I've got a trial it's 14 pound for a week I can have it a pound a day if I want that's a minimum so I thought it's just a trial I just want to see if it works you know and the other one is a pound a day and I can stop it at any time so if it's not working I can just stop

it and so if after three days I think oh it's like you know six quid I can just say bye and I'll pay at the end of the month or whatever it would be nice I mean no link clicks but then then again people have they're seeing it aren't they they're seeing the Let Me Bore You To Sleep that's 68 views that wouldn't 68 people or 65 people that wouldn't have seen that otherwise so it is you know I mean it's going to be thousands and thousands of people get to

see the Let Me Bore You To Sleep whether or not it's going to be they click on the link and thousands of people are going to get to see the or that's the podcast with the website Let Me Bore You To Sleep and stuff so yeah whether people click on it or not I don't know I don't know but we will see those of us in the Jason Newland's boring group we'll see if suddenly we get an influx because at the moment we've got 229 members 229 and I've never really

put much effort into actively getting people to join other than just mentioning it on my podcasts that's it really it takes a couple of seconds I just you know please please please join my my my Facebook group it's the grooviest place to be don't you know but then I'm thinking are people going to join it if they've not if they don't even know what I do there'd be no point for them to join it would it really we'll see I did look at some of the stats and I was very

very surprised because it had there on the group on the Jason Newland's boring group it had stats and I didn't understand it that's a weird noise is that Vinnie Vinnie was that you making weird noise engagement engagement engagement right okay right so a little bit less posts than normal today it's because I have only I've done a couple of posts all right there's been a bit of engagement a little bit a little bit 11th of August okay so I saw something and it confused me membership wow it's not it's saying

how many people know top or who wants to know who is the top contributors to Jason Newland's boring group on Facebook who wants to know anyone so this is the last 28 days okay so we could no it's not letting me change the date I'm going to start at number 10 Marg so in and I'm not it should be this like in the charts and at number 10 fresh in number 10 mark number nine Julia number eight Tammy number seven up two points I don't know but anyone number seven Maria

number six Cheryl number five Anne number four Christine number three rich number two hope and number one for the 700th week in a row it's Jason Newland yeah I always I mean I'll post more stuff don't I because it's my stuff I'm posting posted 15 things in the last 30 days that's not right is it that's things I've written posts 15 posts in 30 days that's weird it doesn't make sense the reason why it doesn't make sense is because I've done way more than 30 posts 30 recordings in the last

28 days so the idea that I've only done 15 recordings in 28 days is silly in fact let me have a look no yes no please don't don't want to do it quick so what we're doing the uh September this August the 7th okay okay August the 7th August the 7th come on let's come on come on wow there's a lot of finger action here what September the 7th not August what am I talking about September maybe I have only done that maybe there was have I had a lot of

time off I don't know I'll lose track if I'm honest with you right so let's go um one four two nine and now I'm at one four five four two nine 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 so it's 25 Let Me Bore You To Sleep sub done in the last in fact it's more than that because let's say 25 25 26 in the last 30 days or 28 days which is I think

quite good 25 and 28 only leaves like a few days isn't it where I didn't do any a new recording yeah I might have also done some other recordings as well I can't remember I wonder if I'm able to promote my YouTube channel why would I want to stop being so rude I might want to you wouldn't want to would you I might who's this someone's moaning that there's no music music music people are moaning okay so YouTube channel is going all right it's basically my format doesn't really suit YouTube

format but YouTube have introduced podcasts and that's what I've got on there so uploading six new recordings every day if I do one recording a day is not ideal for YouTube patients or clients or customers whatever you want to call them YouTube patients what's someone moaning about saying where's oh maybe there's one without any music and I accidentally uploaded it without music and put music oh come on it don't matter does it really generally in the great scheme of things I mean it's the five-hour version listen to the 10-hour version

mind you if the five-hour version doesn't have music the 10-hour version is not going to either let me just check to see if it's got any music shall we yeah come on then hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com my name is Jason and this is Let Me Boy Disabled all you can hear is Vinnie in the background like licking this I think he's drinking his water but yeah there is music but it is quite low to be fair but it's hard to gauge the sound of the music level with the talking

because sometimes the talking's a little bit louder sometimes it's a little bit less and the music you know I do me best I'm not an expert I do me best I hope it's I was gonna say I hope it's good enough but it's never good enough is it but as Buddy Holly once said he said you try and please everyone you end up you will end up not pleasing anyone and he also said oh it's fine the weather the weather will be fine it's raining in my heart it is quite

interesting looking through some of the comments that people have left over the years well over the last two years and the amount of people that have a little have a little moan a little moan and I find it quite funny because I like to have a little moan as well it's like don't like it when you don't like it when you sing okay I don't like it when I was really relaxed and I heard the birds singing well I'll put a sign out for the birds hopefully I'll stop that what's

next and there is is I'm you might not know this about me I can be quite sensitive sometimes especially to what I may perceive as criticism and sometimes I have a bit of an internal tantrum but I understand kind of where it's coming from because I'm on Facebook sometimes and what was it someone was there was a post on Facebook earlier and it was about Robbie Williams who's a singer in the UK talking about having internal Tourette's I'd never heard of that and I didn't read the article quite often these

articles are just made up by AI and just half made up anyway so I don't know if it's a real thing but there's this big discussion about people and stuff that they were saying and it's it's almost it's very predictable and just going on about of course you got diagnosed with um with it if you if you're rich you can get diagnosed with anything you want it's like okay a little bit cynical and someone else saying yeah he's probably got ADHD as well and he's probably got everything because uh and

someone else was even questioning whether or not Tourette's even existed that's what got me because I've got a good friend I've known for a long long time who has Tourette's and the idea of someone saying it doesn't exist it was a little bit um I don't want to go heavy but like when my uncle um caught COVID and unfortunately didn't make it and I was hearing people just talking or it's all made up COVID it's not real you know that's just like it's sick it's a little bit and then I

just thought okay I nearly started typing away what do you know about Tourette's you haven't got a clue I've known someone for 30 odd years 35 years who's got Tourette's and it ain't it's one of the and I thought you know what what am I going to gain from that what am I going to gain apart from feeling ecstatically happy for a few seconds probably and then like what what was it going to give me and also something um I know this person who works for the government in but special

services I think it's more kind of internet surveillance internet secret service kind of stuff but like online stuff and I talked to him about Quora and he explained to me what it was because I'd you know I'll keep getting things I know what it is but he said I said there was a question on there the other day and we were just chatting and he said to me I said to him I couldn't believe what I was reading there it was someone said oh um my I'm married with my wife

and our son passed away two days ago and she's still upset she hasn't got over it yet should I should I get a divorce that is the most ridiculous question ever that anyone no one in the world I don't think would ever ask a question like that but the questions are seriously seriously ridiculous on a level of I can't even you know but apparently he said it's just spam it's made up the questions are made up the answers are made up in order to get people engaged and they post the

most ridiculous things and the questions and try and get people upset and you know so it's it's all planned really I'm just looking at some weird stuff I mean I know some of it's going to be real but it's it can't to me it's a little bit like um this this is reader stories and this was a magazine we're still around I think it's like a comic an adult comic like the dandy or the beano or whizzer and chips and but for adults and back in the late 80s it what

I found absolutely hilarious it was just ridiculously funny because it was just wrong everything about it was wrong and they'd have these silly stories like all but like readers wise not readers wise that's the wrong thing um readers stories sorry I just I realized what I said but a lot of people won't know what I said so it's fine I'll move on um not readers wives readers stories not readers husbands either um read tips it used to have these things like tips and one was tie tie yeah tie a carpet

tile a square carpet tile to each of your feet and you'll never need to buy a carpet it was that kind of really silly stuff and this is a bit like that quora q u a the q u o r a it seems to be a similar kind of thing it's and obviously on YouTube oh man YouTube there's videos it's clearly ai but they've got someone helping a shark and they're pulling it onto the boat and they're just like stroking it and they're looking after it and it's like it's just

clearly ai and there's another person walking up to a a lion or whatever or and getting on and riding it around and stuff like what are they teaching the kids man if you see a lion don't try and stick a saddle on it that's all i'm saying i'm trying to find the most there's got to be a most popular one following spaces what would be the most popular history i'll go psychology come on let's go to psychology okay and again some of it is just like what dating for mature singles

share your feelings and emotions with someone find an online buddy today never real pictures though are they not reality pictures i mean so so if you're a mature man that yeah okay sure psychological effects about women not my words these are the words from this thing okay and it's got a lady with glasses looks like she's in a reading a book in a library but again ai so i'll tell you what i don't understand about ai is why because you can now make a lot of the models now you know

in these in videos and even live streams and stuff apparently apparently i don't know myself from personal experience but you can actually it's almost like you have an ai partner an ai person to converse with whether on the phone by chatting or by even talking on a screen so yeah but my question is why if it's ai why do they sometimes put flaws on them i say flaws it's not a flaw but it's like an okay i'm trying to say about it's like if it's ai you'd think everything would be

well first of all is ai it doesn't need makeup whether it's a man or a woman doesn't need makeup is ai does it it'd be like everything would be perfect skin would be exactly like unblemished if i was an ai but okay what i'm saying if i did an ai version of me the way i'm looking i wouldn't have a big red nose and a bald patch you know wouldn't have a belly a beard belly and ears sticking out i would i mean if it was me i suppose i have

to but i would do i'd make it look more human you know i mean maybe take some of those blemishes and make myself look half something normal what disgusts you okay people like this i don't know how many of you read this okay i can't bother to read it okay here we go this is an interesting these are interesting facts interesting psychology facts you just don't have a fart it's really weird they've got a picture okay i won't tell you looking at your mouth so this is an interesting psychological fact

apparently if someone looks at your mouth whilst talking they might be thinking about kissing you they might also be thinking about how come you not don't know about the white gunk in the corners of your lips or did you not know that there's something in between your teeth or maybe they're just just like it could be anything couldn't it fear in love i don't look at people's mouths but i don't want to kiss them fear in love meeting someone in a scary situation could make you fall in love more easily

now we know i know it's all serial killers really wanting that just one love baby opposites don't attract we usually don't like people oh really okay it took a psychologist to come up with this we usually don't like people who see the world we usually like people who see the world the same as we do we usually don't like people who see the world differently i mean really again i don't get into politics but that's a good example isn't it of people not seeing eye to eye as it were opposites

don't attract well a lot of men and women are attracted to each other and they're opposites women and humor many women like men who are funny many women like men who are funny and a bit sarcastic see there was a time when you'd have apostrophes and they'd break the sentence up so you could see you know because this is many women like men okay many women like men who are funny many women like men who are funny a bit huh many women like men who are funny i was thinking okay

some men are funny and a bit sarcastic but also many women are as well but no it's many women like men many women like men who are funny and a bit sarcastic sarcastic i mean i would argue that i have the ability of a certain degree of humor within a you know human interactions and i'm sitting here night after night with a farting jack russell wow staying in touch after a breakup if you stay in touch it often means one person still has feelings or never cared much it would make

your mind up if you stay in touch it often means one person still had feelings or never cared much i mean you basically just got either side of you if you stay in touch with someone it means something or nothing i've only stayed in touch with one girlfriend or ex-girlfriend rather and i'm good friends with her now but all the others are not really all the others i mean it's been a while but there was a few over the years don't ask me to name them okay i'll try sherry cherry

and michelle um mariah carrie whitney should have been georgia so georgia is someone from a long time ago and she liked me but i didn't take the hint the obvious hint that she liked me because i couldn't figure out why she liked me finny wow honestly i can't tell what's wrong with him tonight it's been like that all night it's been doing that thinking loops we can't stop thinking about something because we keep bringing it up in our minds i need to open the window i'll tell you what you know

when a fart's really bad when you're literally on the top of a mountain in the middle of a hurricane and you can still smell your own fart that's when you know it's a bad one why would you be standing at the top of a mountain in a hurricane if you basically if you can smell a fart in a hurricane you need that's a medical situation i think finny workplace romance romances at work are often more likely to lead to marriage than meeting someone at a bar or a friend's house see

that makes sense let's be serious for a second that makes sense because to me even though you're at work being somewhere for eight hours a day five days a week year in year out sometimes means it's very difficult to hide who you are who you really are i mean some people get away with but generally um you know everyone would get to know that i was moody and they'd be very confused when i came in and i wasn't up you know if i was wasn't like how they thought i should

be and then you got all day are you okay are you okay yeah yeah you're okay and then half you know three hours later i'm not now i'm not okay because everyone keeps asking me if i'm okay i'm not okay am i because of that but you get you get to know someone like really well especially if you're sitting next to them for eight hours a day i mean how many dates would you have to go on where you would have that kind of communication where it's just you and them

for eight hours sitting next to each other outside of a marriage perhaps you know if you're sleeping with someone but then that's a sleep it's not the same thing so if you're not even if you're married or you're living with someone you're probably not going to be spending eight hours a day with them awake but if you're working with someone and you sit at a desk with them or opposite them you're about spending you know 39 40 plus week hours a week and likelihood is you won't not going to be

doing that with your partner so in a way you kind of get to know them in a different way i mean there's certain ways you won't get to know them there's only some ways you can get to know someone i mean no intimacy obviously is one thing but then doing their laundry i personally i do my own laundry i do not i don't i don't think it's fair for anyone to have to touch my underpants it's just not it's not on it's not fair it just isn't i used to buy

my laundrette lady i used to buy her presents at christmas i did the year before i moved here i bought her a car honestly she deserved it she said it's only mercedes i wanted some rolls royce i said next year see if that was a true story i kind of ruined it by saying porsche didn't i or mercedes whatever car i said because obviously i wouldn't have that i can't quite afford all that in it you know i mean you get me in it so wait a second some of these

questions or these things on quora are just silly but it makes sense the workplace romance i met how many relationships have i come from work when i was in a chip shop i liked someone called wendy but she didn't like me back and then i worked at the co-op and i liked someone there but she didn't like it back and i worked in a meter factory like electric meters like someone there she didn't like me back then i yeah i moved to london like someone there they didn't like me back

okay this is not a good example but i'm trying to think of places where it did work oh yeah when i was in the bakery asked out someone who was she was a temp um kitchen staff i was i'm watching you finney he's almost like he's absolutely starving hungry and he's not because they're sad to eat he's had a sausage he's got dry food down there he's just being very greedy today so yeah i asked her out she stood me up because basically we had someone that kept him time off

so we had temp agencies agency temps coming in so she came in one day and we hit it off well i thought we did then she stood me up because this is the days before mobile phones and if i wanted a phone i'd have to i didn't have a telephone number at that time but you'd have to call them from a phone box which is just or from your home phone but you know if you was meeting someone you'd have to call them from a phone box and it was just

i don't know why i'm saying it like that a phone box not a phone box but a phone box so she stood me up probably thought she'd never see me again but she wasn't that lucky she came back i think um so i saw on the friday arranged to see her on a saturday she didn't turn up saturday night and then she turned back up on the the wednesday i think and the first thing she did is like i don't think she ever thought she'd be back there and she was

embarrassed and she's like oh sorry about that so don't worry about it i didn't want to talk to her really it's like yeah okay and he said we can still meet up i said no and we did and we were in a relationship for till the summer yeah till the summer do the summer not just till the summer i mean she went away that was the summer i think it's about august september that's september time and so this is probably from about april to september so that was one relationship in

work kind of i mean she was only there one day and then she didn't come back again but we still ended up dating and falling in love falling in love and the next one where is the next one probably yeah the next one as far as work-based i worked a lot of my place i worked with just men then in 96 i was a security guard and i started i got a lot of attention from the nurses at that time and some of them because i was doing a night shift

and at least four of them stood up all night i mean individually on their own stayed up all night talking to me on different occasions and then one spent more time than anyone else and we ended up we ended up in a relationship so yeah i'd probably say she was the last person i actually that i was in a relationship with that i had those kinds of feelings for and that ended in 97 so between 1997 and now i haven't really had those feelings for anyone that dated it's weird isn't

it and not that i don't like people i like people i've dated but just that that was something different i think i don't know why because we didn't get on perhaps opposites do attract hmm and after that after that after that after that i didn't know i didn't i didn't have any any relationships with anyone from work or to the rest of the 90s or during even when i was involved in the comedy club i didn't get together with any of the waitresses but even though i was friends with them

and i got on really well with a lot of them i just i didn't want to no i'm not going to use that that expression i didn't want to um you know the expression i don't want to uh where you uh you know i just don't the awkwardness of it you know dating someone because i've seen it in the past two people date each other or they fall in love blah blah and then perhaps you know things don't work out for whatever reason and they're still walking into the same office

or to the same workplace every day see each other and the atmosphere is not always great never really wanted that to be honest with you um although i had a job in i did have a job my first sales job proper sales job was before i did insurance it was selling mobile phone contracts and there was this young lady sitting next to me who just flirted with me the whole time i just didn't know what to do um but then i left so that nothing happened from there then when i

went to churchill i actually did there's a couple of i mean there's a lot of people there a lot of people so there's i liked a few people i asked out one person a lady on a reception and she was friendly and nice to me but that's kind of her job wasn't it be friendly and nice to people asked her out she said no i had to walk past her every day um yeah that was that wasn't great and i think that's why i never asked i don't for many many

many years i've not asked anyone out that i really liked generally like really like them because then if they say i don't ask anyone out i've always saying i never ask anyone out not not like would you like to go out on a date would you go on please i've not done that be your best friend no haven't done that since 2002 i think it's the last time i did that and that was the probably that receptionist or did i i might have asked someone out in a lift once oh

this was another place so this is the insurance company the second insurance company she worked upstairs not in insurance she had a different job it was a different company upstairs and she always used to say hello to me and oh and i just liked her she's nice so i said oh if you fancy going out sometime and she said no it was very weird and then the lift stopped and broke down it wasn't for long but it felt like years and years and years because if it had happened previously we

probably just had a laugh and talk you know this there was no there was nowhere to go i mean not i mean physically there was nowhere to go almost felt like doing that thing from the movie and saying i'll try and climb up and fix it myself like who would do that or try and open the door and maybe sort of you know climb through like no there's only like three floors i don't know why she even used to lift to be honest but yeah that was awkward but i didn't

work with her i just saw her in the place where i worked so that didn't really count i don't think because we weren't working together i think the problem is i was born in this country and there's lots of benefits to being born in this country you know it is there's a lot of benefits and i say this country because it's not really just a an english thing it's but the whole idea of the man asks the woman out in the heterosexual relationship the man has to do the asking and

i know that's not the case there is no has to there's no laws but it was always expected when i was growing up and that's what i was taught and even though i hear the opposite and it's not like that now that's how i've always experienced it most of the time i've been asked out a few times but not recently but not very often got asked out once just before i stopped counselling so probably about three or four months maybe six months i don't know but anyway this i'm not sure

but anyway this lady she came for counselling and she pretty much sorted out her well the reason why she was coming she was on a way out she was on a way out she was on a way out she was on a way out most of that stuff had been sorted out before she got to see me and she still came she did a six weeks and on the final session she asked me out and i wanted to say yes internally i was saying yes i don't mean my prostate i'm

talking about in my mind i was saying yes i was farting yes i wanted i wanted to she was like i liked her i did i did i did i did i did but i couldn't because it was it's just not something you can't really do you can't date a client maybe in the future but not like you know not at that point so i said i can't i couldn't even like sort of do it nicely i said no matter how much i want it want to want to i can't

because i couldn't really even say that because that's almost being flirty and i don't know teasing her really isn't it teasing and i remember she left and i just really it was sad because she was the first person i've met in a long time that i liked that liked me as well but that but i didn't see her in that way in a sense but at the same time you know she was nice i liked her and she she wanted to date me and any other situation it would have been

yes but i had to say no because i was trying to be professional and then a couple of months later i was i wasn't counseling anymore it kind of all a lot of it dried up and i just just stopped doing it maybe it dried up because you kept dating all your clients i did not date any of my clients it dried up because of the they weren't getting the the money to keep the keep the services running so that's just how it is how it was back then and i've

replayed that scenario in my head over and over and over again and i still do which is weird considering it was about 2012 maybe even 2013 but 12 13 years ago ridiculous i still i was like oh oh oh the way at the time i was thinking you know what i just spent three years studying full-time a degree to get this qualification and i've also i spent three years then i also just spent so i qualified in 2009 then i did another the degree year in 2010 so like 2010 11

12 so i did another four years practice with clients so i wasn't prepared to chuck that away by being unprofessional so there there's a hero i'm trying to think of any other so that was a workplace a workplace unprofessional potential relationship that didn't happen and it never would happen i wouldn't i'm not professional anymore but you know i wouldn't do that if i was a therapist that would be in the same way i wouldn't want to date my therapist she's really fit no i wouldn't i wouldn't want to date i

wouldn't no maybe i don't know i definitely would i don't know maybe i'm not sure i don't know there's no way i've known is there but there are certain feelings i think for someone would have for a therapist it's just natural to have a a fondness to have some kind of a special feeling towards them not romantic necessarily but just respectful i don't know something so going forward if i asked anyone else there was someone that i really really really really really there was somebody that i really really really really

liked a heck of a lot when i was counseling and we worked together nothing ever happened but we just get on we got on so well sort of same kind of sense of humor and yeah i really really liked her a lot and then i got unwell and i kind of stopped doing all that stuff and i didn't really see her anymore i think we met for coffee once and then that was it it's a little bit you know it turned out i guess that it was just a work-based relationship

or friendship and once the work was finished there was nothing to talk about but yeah i did like her and then and that was the last job i had really so i haven't had an opportunity to have opportunity to have a work-based relationship or romance there was a weird one there was this when i first moved to this the first insurance job i had a real thing for this female i say female just instead of saying their name that you know makes sense so a human and again she didn't even

know really i existed and i really liked her i did talk to her a bit and but i was it was weird because i'd gone from being very sociable quite sociable and confident to not being like that anymore when i was no longer in london it just sort of seemed to change me and i didn't have that confidence i used to have around women that i did before or around anyone really anybody anyway she started dating another another bloke that was there and it was all a big thing all lovey-dovey

and stuff you know and it was weird because we were all sitting at the bar a lot of us like just out of work just talking and we were looking at the someone said where's steve gone i don't know where his name was and it's always gone to a toilet and someone said yeah he's there look he's on the screen and there was actually a camera in the the lobby so there's a men's toilets women's toilets and there's a settee or sofa then there's a camera on that whole area and

the tv was showing the footage from the camera so he's walking up there and who comes out of the toilet but that female female that i used to like but she was in a relationship with someone else and they start getting it you know smooching shall we say not knowing that they're on camera being watched by about 30 people that work with them very awkward i hate to say it was also very funny but just it just in the situation it was kind of some of the things that people were

saying was very funny because it was it was i don't know how to explain it but it was very there was no way in the world that he wasn't going to find out about it her boyfriend wasn't going to find out because literally the next day everyone went to work and i wasn't going to say anything i didn't know what no involvement in that it's like the whole sales floor is just looking in waiting until someone told him and someone always always tells someone has to they have to they have

to break they can't keep it in and then uh it was fireworks but it turned out actually he was a nice bloke not that i thought it was horrible before but he was actually an okay bloke so i kind of got to know him a little bit later but not not hugely but and i used to sit in with interviews and stuff when he interviewed people because he was the team leader and i used to look after his team when he was on holiday so i was like the surrogate team

leader temporarily for a week or two that was weird though it was i think all about that until just now oh oh the good old days dear saying thank you sorry using thank you often makes you seem kinder that's it's called politeness see that's the thing in england we say thank you please and thank you it's expected so if you come here from another country that doesn't say please and thank you doesn't matter what you look like what your accent is what language you speak if you don't say please and

thank you we don't like it it's it's just it's a custom it's a bit like i suppose it's like in japan bowing well not just in japan but other places you know in sort of asia bowing is a sign of respect saying please and thank you is a sign of respect it's not about kindness not not to english people it's about um yeah it's about being respectful to someone awkward silence because i see in bar in like movies where someone walks into a bar and say yeah i'll have a beer

like that would not work in this country unless you know the bar manager you know the pub owner you might be able to say yeah beer but it doesn't it doesn't sound right when i say it please please can i have a beer please please thank you very much please thanks but just the idea just taking it and in frasier you get all my my references are from frasier and cheers in frasier they're in a coffee place and they get the coffees the amount of time they've done you say thank

you to the waitress or the waiter who brings a coffee over that's not on here it doesn't matter if you're in the middle it doesn't matter what you're doing right you have to say thank you to the waitress or the coffee person delivering the coffee even if you're in the middle of a brain surgeon you know you need to stop and say thank you you haven't got to take your gloves off you might have to if you're going to drink coffee you don't want to be spilling in their brain but

although caffeine's supposed to be quite good for your brain now isn't it i found out yeah apparently caffeine's uh quite good for memory retention according to another expert a neuroscientist a lot of neuroscientists out there that disagree with each other hmm awkward silence so a few seconds of silence with someone you don't know well can feel awkward really was that needed to be really what really obviously first impressions your actions create an impression before you even speak yeah but yeah i mean literally if you just climb if you see someone

the first time and what they do is climb up a ladder and just fart loudly through a trumpet yeah that's going to leave a lasting impression but generally especially if there's a job interview but generally your first i always used to say first impressions only last if you never see the person again if you see the person again that first impression is very very quickly distinguished or extinguished especially if the first impression is of me being intelligent that is washed away very quickly once you get to see me regularly voice

changes your voice sounds slightly different when you talk to someone you like oh okay let's try this so i'll talk to my poo bag let's have a look i'll say to talk to vinnie hi vinnie you all right mate good boy i'll talk to the poo bag hi baby how you doing i love you oh you're such a lovely poo bag no i don't did see any difference didn't hear any difference did you you'd think you know i sound a lot different with vinnie knowing how much i love him but

no oh again it's a smelly old pool bag pool bag smelly it's not smelly it's only been it's only been used three times so i'm gonna go thank you very much for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy be gentle with yourself you deserve to feel safe lots of love bye