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Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. Welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.
Is. I'm using the other side of the iPad to record this, which means I'm a little bit distracted because I've actually got, over there is my TV. I've mirrored it to the TV so I can actually see if it's all aligned because I can't see the screen because the iPad screen is the other side.
But my big funny face is on this big massive TV and I keep wanting to look up. I'll do it now. See? That's me looking up.
I don't know why I'm telling you that's me looking up. If you're watching you can see. So, the way I had it set up, should I say, if I said only listen when you safely close your eyes, this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep.
It's Saturday, 24th of January, 2026. Hello. Before I start, I'd just like to remind everyone, what's going on here? Just to remind everyone that we all need help at some time.
Okay. So just remember it's fine and it's okay. It's healthy to ask for help when you need it.
It's just something that I've been thinking about lately. So that's why I'm mentioning it. Yeah.
Thank you. If you are watching on YouTube, hello. Maybe subscribe if you like or like the video or leave a comment.
And I'm kind of in the process of starting to build YouTube up now. I'm making a video every time. I'm only going to upload just the videos.
If you would like to listen to longer versions of this recording, five hours, 10 hours with and without music, or the normal length with music as well, you can go to my website, jasonnewland.com or you can go to the podcast, Let Me Bore You To Sleep, which is on most of the platforms, Spotify, Apple podcasts, etc. If you're watching a video on Instagram or on TikTok, then you'll only have like 59 minutes worth of the video.
So if you want to watch the whole thing, I suggest going to YouTube.
Because some of my videos last a lot longer than 59 minutes. In fact, it's rare that I would do a video less than an hour when it comes to the Let Me Bore You To Sleep recordings or videos. Now I'm not sure if you've noticed the backdrop.
It was better when I had the camera, the screen facing because the whole wall was covered. And but now that I've changed the the camera that I'm using, there's a bit it's weird that bit. There, well, I'm trying to see which arms right there, you can see it.
That's still not covered. But this whole wall around me is covered with white on top, what is cream, cream and blues are blue and then cream at the top cream at the bottom. And I got three pictures.
One was painted by I'm not going to tell you who it is. You have to guess which one it is. One was painted by my nana, my nana, my stepmummy.
I'm trying to think. I guess who that baby is. You can't guess who the baby is, can you? It's me.
I used to be a baby. Can you believe it? I used to be baby size. Like a baby, an actual baby.
I think that's just phenomenal. So I just want to just look something up because I just realised I'm going to get up so I'm losing I have to look at which ones to see who did which. It's terrible, isn't it? Sorry.
Don't look at me bum. Don't look at me bum. So this picture.
See, don't look at me willy. This picture is from Cara. This picture is from my, my stepmummy number two.
I've not done a very good job of putting them on the wall. But I have no idea why I'm standing like that. So I don't wear my best.
I try and put on a decent shirt when I do these recordings because that's all you can see. But I don't have nice trousers on. But anyway, that's the wall goes all the way over there.
I don't mean the wall but the covering and also goes all the way back there as well. I won't be getting any more tiles to put onto the soundproof tiles until at least next week, probably the beginning of the month. I have to wait till all the bills go out to see what's left.
But I'm quite pleased with it. And I've also wanted to put the pictures up that my stepman, my stepman, my stepmum, and Cara put up there that did for me. So they were both painted for me, which is amazing.
I don't know. The thing is, right, that one. The thing needs to be a bit higher because all these need to be lowered down.
That one's a and you can probably see that's video on anyway. And that one has got Andre at the bottom, but Vinnie's at the top. So you can't actually see it.
Can't see the top. So what I'll do either. Either I'll raise the camera up or just take me a bit of time to try and do it.
So I'm in the middle of the thing. It's weird. It's like everything's back to front in a weird way.
So this is my right hand, which makes sense because my right hand, isn't it? It's my right hand. This is my left hand. So if I was going to put this on some glass and you were watching me, it wouldn't be.
It would be the other side, wouldn't it? So technically I'm still looking into the mirror. Because if you was facing me, I thought this one is the opposite. I don't know.
Anyway, so trying to get myself into the middle, because when I put my videos on Instagram, I'm right in a corner. Like you can only see half of my face, which someone argues a good thing. And they're being rude.
Look at this. I've got three of these. I gave one to my neighbor downstairs.
And basically, it was, this is bad. I was on Amazon ordering these things. And also put up one neck curtain, but I've not done the other one yet.
But I'll do that tomorrow or Monday. There's no hurry. I've got so much rubbish to chuck away now because of all the backing and the stuff that I took off the wall.
Now has to be chucked away. So it's this lot of, you know, I've got so much rubbish to tidy up to do. And there's this video running on Amazon for this.
And it's really good for getting around taps, and cleaning toilets and stuff. Those places are quite hard to get to. And I thought, especially because I've got a lot of limescale in here in this area, the water, is it limescale? Does that limescale mean that the water is hard? Once it's wet, but you know, I mean, it's not hard as in, don't go to drink and break your tooth.
But it's like a lot of limescale. So even in the in the toilet, this limescale, the only way it's almost like the only way there wouldn't be any limescale is if the toilet was flushing continuously 24 hours a day, like a waterfall. And my water bill would be very, very, very, very high.
It's already quite high. So I've got this. And what I might do use one for the bath, one for the like the bath and the sinks, another one for the toilet.
And if you can, it's not metal, but it feels almost metally. And if you're wondering why I've got a thing on my there, you know, I was doing, I was trying to get the the nubs. I love the word nub.
I don't know why. I was trying to get the I was taking the old soundproofing off, but it was leaving bits of things which glue, you know, when I originally stuck it on there. So I'm trying to get the glue off using like a spanner, not spanner, like a screwdriver thing.
And my hands, I didn't realise my hand was scraping against the wall and kind of cut my skin open. Then I forgot about it. I gave it a little kiss.
Everything's gonna be fine. Good, good, good boy. And that's fine.
Because my hand is like a little kid, you know, falls over. If I make a fuss, it cries. If I say it's okay, it was funny.
Did a funny fall. Oh, good coming. Mmm.
And done. My hands fine, doesn't care. But then as I was putting the stuff on, I was putting the white stuff on, which is just below me.
And I'm pushing onto it because although it's got adhesive on the back, you have to strip off this. So that's the actual size of the, of each one. And this peels off, peels off of the thing.
And it kind of starts to sort of, it doesn't always take to the, to the wall, especially when it's got bits of glue and stuff. So I'm pushing on it. And I realised that this is, it's like all these marks.
I'm thinking, why is there red marks on the white tiles? It's because my thing was bleeding. And I was, I wasn't punching, but I was pushing with my hand. And then when I realised, I thought, no, no, why? Why me? Why me? Why always me? But then I just dabbed it and it was alright.
Talking about dabbing, I don't know if you've ever seen anyone do this, but do you ever see someone read a book and they put their finger in their mouth like that? I don't know how to do it. Like that. And then they turn the page and they keep doing that.
Can you imagine going, I was like, imagine going on a date with someone and they're the most perfect person you've ever met in your life. And you've got, you know, just enjoy their company. You like their voice.
You like their smell. You like the, the way they talk. You like the, you know what I mean? Just, just the energy coming off of them.
You just feel so comfortable. Like you've known them forever and you feel so safe and warm and, and you look forward to them. They go, they go to do a poo and you miss them, you know, like in a restaurant, I mean.
I mean, they probably don't tell you they've gone to do a poo, but you can tell if someone's, if you're with a man, if you're on a date with a man and he's gone more than five minutes, then he's doing a poo. Because, you know, generally it's not usually a queue in the toilets in a restaurant for men. And a wee wee doesn't take long.
Plus men don't wash their hands. So you haven't got to worry about the length of time to do that either. Wow.
I shouldn't tell everyone the secrets, the men's secrets. Anyway, it's like, and you really think, oh, he's amazing. And you sort of, you go out and everything's fine.
You're like, oh, you're just like brilliant. And you decide, oh, I'm going to marry this person. You marry them.
And he's like, we don't marry them. But you feel, oh, let's go look at some catalogs, some wedding brochures. And you say, well, I'll look at these ones.
You look at that ones. We've got two of each. We look at the same one at the same time, but we don't, we've got to like, you know, we can do it in our, either side of the table because sometimes it's nice to have to be one side of the table and the other person's the other side, because you love them so much.
You want to just look at them, watch them looking through the catalog, just to add to those happy memories. And you're looking and you see them go like that, or like that, and touch their, lick their fingers before turning the page of the catalog. Imagine how crushing that would be to realize that you fall over someone that does that.
Wow. Apart from the fact that it's super unhygienic, like why? That's the kind of thing you see on 1970s sitcoms or the old movies. I think I've only seen human beings do it live twice.
Yeah. And I do understand like with poo bags, it's really hard to open them. Sometimes you just want to lick your fingers.
You might be able to open them, but I refuse. I won't. I just know I'm not gonna lick my fingers.
I know where they've been. If you do do that when you know reading, good. That's a good thing to do, because it means you can turn the page.
There's nothing worse than missing the pages and not knowing what's gone on and then get right to the end of the book and think, you know, I've read 300 pages and from page 19 onwards, I haven't had a clue. I don't know what the hell's going on. But if I knew you'd licked your fingers, you wouldn't have missed those three pages.
They explained who the robot was. Here's a weird thing. I used to love reading Star Trek books.
I don't know if you knew this, don't know about me, but in the 80s, I figured it was the 80s. I was reading them in the 80s. They brought out a bunch of books that were nothing.
I don't know anything to do with the TV show as far as they were different stories. Because Star Trek didn't do it. It only did two series didn't it.
I don't know what it was, but I was absolutely obsessed for a short while. And my forum, so I'm thinking it was probably really, really second or third year. I was in a forum and it was the science lab.
So because it was a science lab, it had an exit. It had like a fire exit. So there was a front room, like most classrooms just had one room, one door to get into with windows.
This had a door at the front, and then another door with a fire escape. Well, stairs actually. That led downstairs out, you know, because of all the bunts and burners and stuff like that.
Here's something that I found strange though. The amount of times, it's like there was a part of my brain that could not learn, that would not learn, that refused to remember that the tripods, which the bunts and burner goes underneath, and then you've got the thing on top of whatever it is, a dish or whatever. So the tripods would get scalding hot.
For some reason, I forgot that the legs would get hot. Because to be fair, it made no sense for the legs to be hot. Because the bunts and burner wasn't focused on the legs.
It was focused just on the top. So I never ever held the bunts and burner, the tripod at the top. You know, it'd be silly.
But for some reason, part of my brain thought, but the legs shouldn't be hot. I'm not talking at the top, I'm talking at the bottom. The legs shouldn't be hot.
Well, hot isn't even a word for it. It was like scalding. It just made no sense.
But they always were. Now, I'm not saying that I would hold them thinking, it wasn't that kind of silly mentality. Well, it should be cold, therefore, I'm going to hold it.
I wasn't arguing with reality. You know, I've known people that do that. I've done that myself in the past.
Like, well, it should, you know, it's kind of, let's say this, there was a big pile of rubbish dumped outside the front communal door. And another one dumped outside the back door. So we couldn't get out of the building unless we moved the rubbish.
Now, I know people that would say, that shouldn't be put there, that shouldn't have been dumped there. Which is right, it shouldn't have been. That's the council's job to remove that.
Pretty much, yeah, I guess, yeah. I mean, it's also a criminal act, but it's not. But the fact is, like, well, no, let the council do it.
But we have to go out. No, it shouldn't be there. But we have to leave the building.
No, the rubbish shouldn't be there, shouldn't be a blockage. Well, let's move it. No, that's a council's job.
Do you know that like argument of reality? And I've done enough of that in the over the years. It's kind of, it's pointless though. It's very, it's like me walking up to a beautiful woman asking her out, her saying no, and then me blaming it on my haircut.
It's not going to be my haircut, is it? Or me blaming it on the fact that perhaps I didn't dance as I didn't dance. I didn't tap dance in front of her when I asked her out for a meal. That's not the reason for the rejection, is it? You know what I mean? Mind you, that would make me laugh.
If someone did that, they walked up to me, started tap dancing. Would you like to go out for a meal? Even if it was a man, I'd probably just laugh and say, yeah, okay, let's go for a drink. I'm not interested in anything else, but it made me laugh.
I did actually have that. It was when I was doing in the comedy club, early 90s, and there was this drag queen and he, because the place was full of entertainers. It wasn't just comedians went in there.
You know, musicians would go in as well. And it was proper, I'd never seen anything like it. I'd never seen that amount of makeup.
It was like a caricature, caricature of a caricature, really loud, like really, but it was hilarious. So funny. And he took a liking to me.
And at one point, I said, Oh, I want you to take me home and do something to me like the blah, blah, queen I am. I just, and it made me, I just honestly, it was so funny. I didn't watch it.
It wasn't funny the way I said it, because I had to miss out all the naughty words. And I just found it hilarious. Now, I know a lot of men would be taking themselves all seriously then, would just say, but I'm a man, you're a man, I'm a man.
You know, sort of trying to be all aggressive and stuff. I just found it hilarious. And I politely denied and turned down the lovely offer.
And he followed me around going please, please, please, like, I was flattered. But at the same time, you know, that was, that was also playing with reality. Because the reality is that was never going to happen.
Although I do know a fair few gay men say, what's the difference between a straight man and a gay man? And they say about five pints of lager. But I don't, I don't agree with that. It's, it's, it's kind of like a gay, sort of gay joke that gay people have said, that I've heard.
I didn't mean, I wasn't mine. I've known a lot of people that have told jokes. So today really, I ain't done much.
I don't know much, but I know I love you. Ain't done much. It looks to me like the camera stopped working.
I'm going to go and check it. The screen on the TV is frozen. So I don't know.
I hope it's still recording. I've had a look on the screen on the iPad still seems to be recording. But if it isn't, then hey, but it should be just means I've wasted a lot of time.
No, I haven't done a huge amount. I took Finny out three times today. It's been a nice bright day.
No rain, cold, but it's supposed to be cold. It's January, isn't it? It's supposed to be cold. And it's dark outside now.
It was light by half seven this morning. Now, it's been pretty much dark till eight o'clock. Last time I noticed, so it's kind of that's a that's a big improvement.
Half seven, and it's now light outside. It's eight o'clock. I would say it's pretty much I went out.
What time did I get back? So I'm going to just see what time I went out earlier. Me me me me me me me. Oh, let's have a look at my video camera thing.
Door camera. Come on. I went out at 23 minutes past four.
I came back at five o'clock. 1659 it was still light outside, but it was wasn't light like if you know I mean, but it was still light enough didn't need lights. Didn't need his light on his collar.
And if you'd have done a you know. If you dropped a log on the carpet, not on the carpet on the grass, I would have been able to find it and pick it up. So it was just.
It was sundown, I suppose dusk, you know, get in there. It was only a couple of weeks ago that it was pitch black at five. We've like just completely dark.
I like this part of the year for this. I'm holding on to I'm really gripping on to like, okay, what, what is the positive? What is, you know, it's technically a lot of people moan about a January, February, miserable, two most miserable months of the year, blah, blah, blah. I think, well, what, what good comes, you know, what good happens in January? I mean, first of all, it's a new year.
That's got to be a good, quite positive thing, I would say. Secondly, Christmas is over. So that's good for everyone that doesn't celebrate Christmas, or anyone that doesn't have a family or, you know, whatever.
So that's kind of good to be out of the situation where you, you're not maybe, you're not you feel pressured to be involved in something that isn't really part of what you do. And then also you've moved away from the expense of that because December is an expensive month. If you have to buy presents for people, and then the air can feel a bit fresher because it's cold.
I don't know, there's something like when it's icy and stuff like that. I'm not saying it's it's nice, not everyone, you know, depends if one's got a lung issues and stuff. But it's just, it's kind of fresh air.
And it's quite, you get out in the morning, if I'm tired, no matter what time I go outside, in this time of year, I'm awake, because it's like, oh, like icy air. You know, so I'm not walking around tired. And then watching the evenings become lighter.
By you know, literally every week, like every day, just by a minute or two or whatever, just gradually getting lighter and lighter, getting lighter in the morning. Although it seems to get lighter in the evening, quicker than it's getting lighter in the morning. Just maybe it's not just seems the way it just that's the way it seems.
Going from having to take Vinnie out at half three to make sure I was home by four, because that's what time would be dark outside. To now being able to take him out quarter to four if I if I wanted to, if I could take him out at five. And if it was a short walk, he'd be okay.
But still have like maybe 1520 minutes before it was dark, dark. Just in that short time. And then we've got February.
So now, I know it's not February yet, but we've got a week, haven't we? So 24th of January. And all we got to this 31 days, isn't there? So we've got literally one week 1234567. Seven more days.
Next Sunday will be the first of February. And then February is 28 days. It'd be a beat that's 11.
Be a leap year this year. Is there a leap year? I do know. 28 days.
27 days. 20. No leap years 27 days in February, isn't it? When is not Volcanoes Day? Valentine's Day? When's Valentine's Day? February the 14th.
So anyone out there watching me or listening to me that's madly in love with me. You need to hurry up and tell me because you know what my Valentine's cards this year. I've had enough of not getting Valentine's cards.
Send me some Valentine's cards. Please, please, I beg of you. I did once get, and I do mean once, I got flowers, roses sent to me.
And it was from someone I was dating. It's the only time in my life I've ever been given flowers from a lady. And the people in the office found it hilarious.
I found it both romantic and embarrassing because my work colleagues were making fun of me. And then I thought, well, what's wrong with a man receiving flowers? Because think about it. If I was gay, I would send my boyfriend flowers.
Because I like to send flowers to people. I send flowers to people who are gay. I send flowers to my stepmum on her birthday.
It's not on Valentine's Day, obviously, but I send, sometimes I send her flowers at Christmas or Mother's Day, things like that. So, you know, if I had a, if I had a girlfriend or partner, I would be sending probably flowers to them on those occasions. There's, there's a tiny bit of romance left inside this, this thing.
I don't know if you can see this, look, it's a crack. If you can see that, it's a crack. And that's from recently, I dropped it on the floor.
In fact, if it landed on the metal leg of this desk and then bounced off of that and land on the floor. And I've looked after this phone for years. I've had this for probably since 2020, probably 19, 20.
And when I have dropped it, it's not like I've never dropped it, but I haven't broken it and not cracked it. And now there's, okay, it's not a crack crack. You see some people's phones, they're literally like just like a jigsaw puzzle, undone, half done jigsaw puzzle.
This is just a very slight thing. And it doesn't seem to be affected as far as me putting my fingers on it and using it. But you can only really see it from a, if you look at it from a certain light, actually, no, you can just see it.
So that's, if you think about it, February 1, 2, 3, 4 weeks. And then we're in March. And March is officially spring, isn't it? February, we move into spring.
So I would say kind of, I know technically, November is autumn. But I would say probably half of November, the latter half of November, I would probably class as winter. Then December, then January.
And then half of February, which makes three months, I mean, I'm going to split the seasons up in three. There's four seasons, three, three each months, each weather. So I would say the last month of November quite often is very wintry.
And December, January, and the first half of February, and then we start to get spring weather. Sometimes we get spring weather in January. But that kind of the daffodils start to come out.
And the next day, it's snowing. It's the kind of weird thing in this country. But which means we're only half a month away from spring.
Two weeks, three weeks, let's say three weeks away from spring. And as we edge towards the end of February, no one argues that March is spring, do they? Spring. There's no arguing on that one, regardless whether it's warm or cold or raining or whatever, even if it's even if it's snowing, it's still spring.
Like that part. It is because you know, it snowed, it snowed in this country in July in the past. But no one said, oh, it's winter now.
No, it's summer. It's just happened to have snowed. And we did have snow.
We have a proper, I don't think I was, it might have been in the 70s. Yeah, it might have been in the 60s. I saw a documentary on it.
And I'm quite fascinated by snow. Because I love snow. Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love snow.
I mean, I love it. I'm not a big fan of when it turns to ice, and it starts to get slippery. I don't, I'm not a big fan of that.
I never really was. But I feel like it's I've got older and I just don't want to fall over. Because it's, and it really is in slow motion.
It's so weird. You'd think in slow motion that I'd have more time to maneuver my body. So I didn't land on.
Yeah, so I landed safely. I mean, it really is. That's that's time distortion.
It's like, oh, I've gone over. Oh, I've got nothing to hold on to. Oh, wonder which part of my body is going to land on the floor first.
Oh, I wish I'd worn gloves. Whoops. And just, I mean, I know, you know, just from training in the past that if you can spread your body out, then you're less likely to hurt yourself.
So if you can spread your limbs out, and if you can actually hit the ground with your hands, when you land, however weird that might sound, it does take the shock out of the fall or can do. And, and try and spread out a bit, spread your legs, spread your body out. So it just I don't know, it means that you've not got all your weight and landed on just one part like your shoulder or your knee or you know, easy to, it's easy to say that.
But in the moment, in the moment, I'm like, the only thing that doesn't come to my head is spread out. And, you know, push down and hit the hit the ground with your hands as you land and spread out the legs. And, you know, trying to even the weight so that you're not landing on one part, all your weight on one part.
And, you know, try and take the shock out of it by like hitting the ground with your palms, your hands. That's the one thing I'm not thinking about when I'm in that slow motion fall. It's weird, the one thing that would actually be useful, and it's not there.
That's one of the things I've got gloves, and they're really thick, protective gloves to protect my hands. And they're the kind that about motorcyclist shoes, because I know that if I go over, I can I can protect myself by landing on if I land on my hands, I'm going to be all right. Hopefully, but it's anything that's better than landing on my head.
You know, I know that's the part I don't want to be landing on. But at the same time, I don't want to land on my knees, or my elbows or joint, because that's just I don't really want to land anywhere, just my hands. Ideally, I'd like to just be weightless and just land on my hands, do a somersault and land back on my feet, or just walk home on my feet on my hands.
But maybe that's in that category of what should be rather than reality. I mean, when I talk about fighting reality, I don't necessarily mean like just accept anything. You know, where you were born in you were born into this kind of lifestyle.
You're raised like that. Therefore, you shouldn't have any aspirations to do anything else or blah, blah. I don't mean it like that.
And I suppose just to some realities, isn't there? Just some things are just some things take a bit of work to change, take a bit of time. But in order to change it has sometimes needs to be acknowledgement that there's an issue. So when I should drink, it took a while to kind of realise that I was drinking too much.
And it wasn't useful to me. And I stopped for a whole year back in 2004. And then when I moved in here, because then after that, I realised that leading up to me moving here, I realised just before my diagnosis, I realised that I was by bipolar diagnosis, I realised that I was self medicating, or self medicating, or self medicating, whichever way you can stress whichever part of it you want.
And I thought that's interesting. Because it didn't feel like that. And then I still drunk, I still used to drink, but not as much.
And then when I moved here, so it used to be a drink at the weekends, Saturday night, maybe Friday night, maybe Sunday night, you know, but generally like Saturday night. And I moved here with that kind of habit of drinking six cans of lager on a Saturday night. Fosters, I think it was.
And then one day, I just lost interest in it. Lost interest in drinking alcohol. So it wasn't that I tried to stop, or that I had a big thing and you know, I just realised that I didn't care for it anymore.
I didn't need it. It wasn't helping me. It never helped me.
In some ways, it really hindered me. And yeah, I think there's parts of my life would have been a lot better if I had not been drinking. But again, it's like, well, that is what happened.
So hey, we have to sort of move on. But it's weird, when the pressure was took off myself, I didn't have any pressure on myself to stop drinking. Because I wasn't drinking much, to be fair, when I moved in here.
And I just didn't care. I just stopped. After about nine years, no, after about a year, maybe, maybe less than a year.
I just gradually just stopped. I remember once and I think it was my 50th birthday. I went, yeah, it was my 50th.
I went to the petrol station. And I bought, what did I buy? I thought I bought two, four, eight, I think I might have got 12 cans. Six for me and six for Luke.
And we would start drinking. I'm sitting over there on the desk over there. He's sitting over here in the chair.
So I used to have my black chair just here, facing the wall over there. That's where the TV used to be. The other side of the wall.
The other side of the room rather. And it was a little TV. I couldn't, I wouldn't, I've struggled to even see the television now, nevermind the screen.
And so I'm sitting over there and we're just talking. I couldn't even drink half of the can before saying that I can't bother with this. And I just gave him the rest.
And he just went downstairs and drank them. Because I wasn't going to watch him. I'm not, in no situation am I going to watch someone else drinking alcohol.
Because being around someone that's drunk when he's being sober is just, it's, it's, yeah, I personally don't enjoy it. Just because it's like you're a different level of, you're on a different plane, you know. Consciously, it's better to be, yeah.
Plus I've worked around drunk people and lived around drunk people, proper real drunk people and I don't enjoy the company when they're drunk. When they're sober, I can absolutely adore someone when they're sober. But sometimes when they're drunk, it's like, oh, really? Why are you urinating against my front door again? Someone actually did that.
It was in the garden, it wasn't my front door, but it was in the garden. This was probably the second year of me living there, maybe the first year. So I'm friends with Luke, we're downstairs.
We're just having a few lagers, it's in the summer. Before we know it, like half, half the estate's sitting in the garden, or standing in the garden, like, I don't know where everyone's, where they came from. See, Luke knew everyone, therefore through him, I got to know everyone.
Most of those people are gone now, they've left. But one person, he was getting a bit aggressive and we kind of said, yeah, might as well go now, and he left. And then I got, I think one of my neighbours came, one of the other neighbours came down the garden and said, someone was in the hallway urinating.
I said, where? He said, upstairs. So the person that left went to the, walked to the top of the stairs. Now he could have just walked out the front door, the front communal door, and gone against the hedge.
You know, I mean, he only lived around the corner as well, literally lived a minute's walk, but he could, if he was urgent, he could have just gone against the hedge. But no, he walked all the way up the stairs, did it against the thing, probably looking down at us while he did it, because there's a window there, probably giggling, I'm adding that for myself. And I came back in, so I went upstairs, so I think one of the neighbours upstairs said to me, like, what's going on?
I said, oh, okay, it might be an uncle's sausages actually.
So I came downstairs and I told Luke, Luke went round, got him, frog marched him back here to clean it up. And so, the weird thing about it is, he's so lovely. He was, he was so lovely when he wasn't drinking.
I mean, lovely, like, you'd, you'd want to know him. But when he drank, he just was a bit, and he wasn't, yeah, he could be not very nice, but not, I didn't find him scary. But he just, you know, he's just, I don't know, I think, I'm, Luke's dad, Luke's dad used to go really well with him.
And I'd sit there and talk for hours. And because this bloke was around my age. And he'd never seen him drinking before.
Luke's dad had never seen this bloke drunk. So Luke was visiting. Yeah, Luke's dad was visiting and staying with Luke for a few days.
And this bloke came round, because he'd been on a bender. So he came round, sat down, Luke's dad didn't really know what was going on. And so he sat down and started talking.
So they were just talking like normal. But he did have a vodka bottle in his hand. Luke came to the garden with me just to get away.
And fully about 15, 20 minutes later, his dad came out. He said, I'm going back to London. What's going on? He said, I said, like, before what's happened is something bad happened.
He went in there and he was stripped off. The bloke basically decided he was completely naked. They said, nah, I'm going back to London.
I said, you don't have to. This next bit I might be making up. In fact, I might make some of that up as well.
But I think he came up here for a while, not the naked one. But Luke's dad and just stayed here until Luke got rid of him. It was like literally, it'd be absolutely fine.
He'd have a few drinks. It'd be normal conversation. Then suddenly he'd be naked.
I'm surprised he found any pub to drink in. Seriously, it's almost like he had, you know those those dance routines. I do dance, you know what dancing is.
And they kind of just go like that. And all the whole uniform or the whole costume comes off. And there's another costume underneath.
That seemed to be what he had, but there was nothing underneath. It's almost like he had everything was all connected and he just pulled a little cord and all of his clothes just fell to the floor. And I just, yeah, it wasn't quite what I was used to, if I'm honest.
So we've got a baby downstairs today, apparently. And Vinnie, I've been sort of like, she, my neighbor said, Oh, I hope I don't disturb you with the baby. I said, I don't care.
It's like, you can't be angry at a baby crying. I know I'm a grumpy old man sometimes, but you know what I mean? Babies are supposed to cry. That's what they do.
It's their, it's their job to cry, to throw up, to poo and to look adorable sometimes and sleep. That's kind of what they, that's their job. And I've been all day, I've been thinking, I want to stop Vinnie from barking so he doesn't wake up the baby.
Cause I'm more concerned about him disturbing the baby. I'm not bothered about the baby crying, disturbing, nothing, nothing's going to disturb me. He hasn't stopped barking all day apart from now.
And there was one point I had the windows open in the living room here and I could hear a dog barking in the distance and Vinnie was barking. He started barking. I thought, well, he hears that dog bark quite a bit and normally don't care that much.
So why, why is he barking now? Why does he care about it? And he kept barking. I'm thinking, but it's in the distance. It's like far enough away for him to not really be bothered.
And I walked past the window, my window, I suppose it's going to be my window, isn't it? I'm not going to walk past someone else's window, unless I'm outside, but I'm inside. And I looked out there and I'm doing this, doing the old foam things and putting this soundproofing on the wall. And there's a lady in the garden walking a cat.
That's why he was barking because he could hear and smell the cat. Probably he could hear the person and he just couldn't stop focusing on it. And it wasn't like full on barking.
It was just every few seconds. It went on for ages. Very annoying.
Very annoying indeed. Indeed. So I'm having a problem with my DAZN app on my TV and I don't know why.
I wish I knew why, but I don't know why. And it's annoying me because every time I try and use it, it freezes and I can't seem to, you know, get it to work. I don't know why.
Oh, right. I need to eat something. It's kind of like pizza time, really.
Oh, big, juicy burgers. There's no point in me buying a burger. If I get a delivery like Five Guys and Wendy's, I like both those burgers.
Probably go Wendy's above Five Guys. It's not going to be warm when it gets there. No, it might be tepid.
At best, I'll put it in the microwave then. No, because then I might as well just get a burger from the petrol station. I'm going to be sticking stuff in the microwave.
You know what I mean? It's like no, no, no, no, no. Also, with both Five Guys and Wendy's, I don't order it anymore, but I did in the past. I went for a little period when I was super excited about having the opportunity to buy that stuff and get it delivered because we were blacklisted in this building for years.
No deliveries would come here. We could get supermarkets, Sainsbury's, Tesco, Asda, Iceland wouldn't deliver unless you actually went into the store. A lot of the taxi firms would not come to this property.
We were blacklisted with some of the taxi firms as well. Those that would come wanted the money up front on the phone before they came. It's not like that anymore.
On the apps like Uber Eats, I was just limited to local stuff. Local takeaways, you know, none of the big brands, none of the big names. And I was like, oh, it'd just be nice to order a Wimpy.
Wimpy don't do deliveries. Do Wimpy do deliveries? No, no, Wimpy don't do deliveries. McDonald's did do deliveries and they took it off.
And they won't, they won't deliver to this address. Again, I don't know why. I think I know why actually.
I would say it's because people complained that the food was cold. Because it was. I didn't have a Warmburger arrive once.
And Five Guys and Wendy's is more than twice the distance away from the closest McDonald's. Although, I heard somewhere, and it might not be in places like here, but I've heard in some places like busy cities. There are places that make McDonald's and Burger King and they do all this, they use the same stuff as McDonald's use, but they don't cook it at McDonald's.
You know, it's kind of in some big warehouse and it's all cooked. And not all of it because of McDonald's. If you go in any McDonald's, you'll see delivery drivers collecting stuff.
But I heard somewhere, I don't know where it was, that that is going on, where it's some kind of generic kitchen. And they're doing takeaway food for all kinds of restaurants. So McDonald's, Burger King, Five Guys, Wendy's.
Now I heard it, I don't mean it's true, but I heard that somewhere. And the delivery drivers just go to that address and then deliver it. Because technically, as long as you're using the, you're using the same stuff that McDonald's uses, the same potato fries, using the same burgers, and the same oil, and the same packaging, then no one's going to know, are they? Really? That's interesting.
I would like a cheese omelette. I wonder if I can get an omelette. Omelette.
Omelette. Omelette. I don't know how to spell omelette.
Okay, right. Let's go back to there. So we've got like a diner, which isn't, it's only up the road, just not far, which means there's more chance of the food being hot.
Ooh. But do they sell food though? I know technically burgers are food, but something that's a bit more substantial. Substantial.
Now usually sub means less, doesn't it? Sub. Substantial. So this, this, substantial mean unhealthy and substantial means healthy.
Hot dogs. No, thank you. Never had a proper hot dog ever.
I've had to go to America to get a proper hot dog. Milkshakes. Milkshakes.
Milkshakes. Milkshakes. See, I could really do with a lovely.
Oh, yeah. That's what I could do. If I go to the Chinese.
Omelette and chips. I like omelettes. And I like a Chinese takeaway sometimes.
Omelette and chips. That'd be nice. Do they have peas though? Because I think that can ruin a meal, can't it? Vegetables.
Peas. I mean, do peas really go with an omelette? It might sound like a weird question, but be honest. Do you think that peas go with an omelette? Or I could just go for Papa John's.
Papa John's. Papa Papa John's. Pizza.
Because for me, I like Saturday night pizza. It's one of my little, my little things that I've been doing for years when I can. And I like it.
I do. I like it. I like it.
I like it a lot. Wow, they're doing it delivery free. And a pound off the fees as well.
Wow. I wonder if they're doing that with, remove your item. Are they doing that still without the drink? See, I don't need a drink.
I don't need a fizzy drink. So. Oh, okay.
So that's like seven pounds less. Things with pizza. Because it's, it's a Hawaiian.
Not my shirt. It's a Hawaiian pizza. However, I remove the ham and I add sweet corn to make it a sweet corn and pineapple pizza.
Because I don't do sweet corn and pineapple. So I just get the, oh, picking my nose now. Just get the Hawaiian, but take off the ham.
Although Vinnie does love the ham, but I can't be bothered to keep picking it off if I'm honest with you. So I've ordered that. That'll be here by between 19, 20, 720 and 738.
It's now 641. Hmm. I mean, I do enjoy having a Fanta until afterwards.
So a fizzy drink, once I've drunk it, I like, Oh, I never, I never drink the whole bowl. Even if I just get a little bowl, like a normal size bowl, I'll drink half. But it's too much sugar.
It's too, too much. So I don't have that anymore. I just drink some water.
It's a bit boring, isn't it? But so I've got my pizza and with it comes a grow thicker, grow thicker, fuller hair with hair plus me. There's a 70% 70 pound off hair plus me for three months. Get grain with personalized, powerful actives and UK first formulas.
There's a little sign at the bottom side, add really is me thinking it was a delivery I could get. Yeah, like a full head of hair and a milkshake, grow thicker, fuller hair. I didn't think it was legal from an advertising perspective to promise stuff like that.
It's getting a bit stuffy in here now. So I got all the windows closed, got the curtains drawn over all these lights got the door closed. I need some airflow baby need some airflow.
I don't know. As far as boxing goes, there was boxing on earlier hours of this morning. And there was also there was another one is to in fact.
So there's a new organization run by UFC man. Suffer, I think it's called ish. Zed UFA, FFA, something like that.
And it's like a new boxing promotion. And it looked good because everybody that was on there seemed to be unbeaten. So they've been really kind of putting people together, maybe not all unbeaten, but a lot of them.
But I didn't get to watch it because part of it was being shown on YouTube. So when I woke up this morning, it was on. But they were just showing one round and then just blanking the screen for the next 10 minutes.
Not a fan of that. And then they said, well, we didn't say then but it was I was looked up yesterday. And it's on Paramount Plus software.
Okay. I just literally signed up for Paramount Plus because they offered it to me for like a pound a month for three months or four. Yeah, I'll take that.
Get to watch some different things. So the boxing is free on Paramount Plus. Ah, if you're in America or Canada, not a few in England.
How would it make a difference? I mean, it's on an app. It's literally it's streamed. Why would it make any difference where it's being watched? I don't know.
So yeah, I didn't get to watch it. I mean, I didn't expect to watch it live, although I could have watched the last fight live. But I thought it'd been good to play it back.
Because usually, like with Netflix, they stream it and you can replay it. And I think they do the same. On Amazon, if you buy, yeah, yeah, if you buy a fight, you can replay it back as well.
I think. What was his name? Whoever's in charge of UFC. I know it's like it's a new thing.
But why didn't he try and get with get with Netflix? It's the biggest audience is going to get. So most amount of people that are going to watch like, you know, there's no bigger audience online other than YouTube. But of course, you can't charge if it's on YouTube.
So I just put it on Netflix. Have it there for people that have already paid for memberships, you're not charging anything extra. Because unlike UFC, I think part of the package was that they didn't charge any extra, it's going to be free.
Whether they'll stay that way, I don't know. But how about on Netflix? I don't know, I just, I've watched. How many fights have I watched on Netflix? I've seen the BB.
So I saw Jake Paul versus Joshua. I saw Jake Paul versus Tyson. Yeah, that was on Netflix, wasn't it? And did you did you did you did? Wasn't there another one on Netflix? Or maybe that was just it? Maybe that's the only two they've had.
But providing they promote it, and let people know, you know, on Netflix, because it's such a big platform, there's so much stuff on there. as long as they let people know that there's live boxing on every Saturday night or most Saturday nights just you know that makes sense because they've got the largest audience out of all the paid streamers that's why because in the old days right in the old days like back in the 90s you had people like Nigel Ben Chris Eubank and they'd be on terrestrial TV ITV1 Frank
Bruno be on BBC one and they would literally get millions upon millions of people like 20 million people will be watching Nigel Ben and Chris Eubank having their fights fighting each other it's like 20 million people just in this country no pay-per-view has ever had that I don't think any pay-per-view has hit 20 million and I mean saying that you could argue well no because yeah no I don't think any pay-per-view has reached that but it wasn't pay-per-view is free on the TV yet Sky came along and the boxers were
coming around and they were they were they were fighting on Sky earning more money getting pay-per-views where maybe 400,000 300,000 200,000 people would watch it live sometimes a lot more depends on how big the fight was or what time it was on they'd earn more money as well than if they had 20 million people watching on BBC or ITV but they wouldn't be as well known that's the weird thing about it because Frank Bruno was a celebrity he still is he's not so much in the public eye anymore but he
was a big star anyone that knows his name is going to remember his name Frank Bruno he did game shows TV shows as well as boxing he was he was a legend Nigel Bent Chris Eubank legends but then you got people like Joe Calzaghe who spent a lot of his career fighting on Sky still a legend unbeaten super middleweight champion but made a lot more money I'm sure than Chris Eubank or Nigel Bended but how many people members of the general public would know who he is even when he was
you know at the peak because they weren't getting to see him because a lot of people weren't prepared to pay pay-per-view money or to even they weren't even with Sky he always had to pay money to be with Sky to watch stuff especially the Sky Sports and it brings me to the old question there was Muhammad Ali there was a time I think the Olympic gold medalist he was from Cuba and Cuba have had a lot of amateur boxing success like a lot and I think they've had quite a few
quite a few gold medal winners over the years so this bloke I think you'd want it two years in a row maybe three years but probably two years did you know that George Foreman won gold at the Olympics did you know that Joe Frazier won gold at the Olympics as well as well Cassius Clay at the time Muhammad Ali he won gold at the Olympics it's never mentioned about George Foreman is it says oh we can't box he you know he was just a big puncher and tough and he wasn't
to win the gold at Olympics takes more than just being a good puncher you have a lot of skill to win gold especially when you're fighting against Russians other amateurs from all over the world you've got to be super talented you don't just no one just gives you the gold medal it's like you know doing the hundred meters and just saying well you know don't have to run that fast well yeah you you actually do you really really do you know so here's another bit of do you want some trivia
Van de Holyfield it might surprise you he never won a medal with the Olympics so he was four-time heavyweight champion of the world and he beat Mike Tyson twice he was also unified or undisputed heavyweight champion as well as cruiserweight champion so he accomplished more than pretty much any other boxer in a heavyweight division pretty much anyway I think okay well how did he not win the gold medal that must have mean that he didn't go he didn't enter the Olympics no he did he entered the Olympics well if he
didn't win the gold he must have won silver nope bronze nope did he get a little whistle for running up nope if that's a thing how could he not have won let's face it he was better than everyone else arguably head and shoulders above everyone else at the Olympics yeah he didn't win anything so some might know the answer to this but I reckon a lot of people don't what happened is I don't know if it was in his first fight or his second fight or whatever I can't give you
that exact details the referee shouts stop at the same time as a Van de Holyfield throwing a punch the punch knocked out his opponent like clearly knocked out gone gone gone bub eyes like he was snoring and he got disqualified Van de Holyfield was too fast there was no way he could have stopped that punch because he literally started through it and it was very controversial controversial in a sense of disqualifying him like he was out of the whole thing instantly they did that with some swimmers a swimmer I think
it was last year and there's a couple of swimmers that were clearly friends in the next aisle to each other and the one at the winner I think one came first one came second and one and they might have been training together for the last ten years of their life and this was during the Olympics and the one that came first he kind of stopped and his friend pulled up you know probably two seconds three seconds after him and he's celebrating and the one that just the one that kind of
got first went into the other bloke's aisle just to cuddle him got disqualified because you have to stay in your own aisle now understand that the person still swimming but I don't know if he won it if he he might have even beaten a world record I'd be adding that as an extra just to make it more saucy he beat a world record can't believe it he's only five years old he beat all those adults he literally jumped in the water and he was back he was like the man from
Atlantis who someone if you're over 50 might remember the bassist Bobby Ewing what Bobby Ewing used to do before he got into oil and Pam Pamela Ewing I love Pamela I don't care what anyone says I loved her I loved I did I loved her and Wonder Woman and I love Wonder Woman I still do you know proper Wonder Woman and who's the lady that was in Charlie's Angels but she was in it all the way through it's a dark hair brown hair I loved her as well she's the one
that got least attention if for some reason it's always the blonde Farrah Fawcett Lockyer whatever name was they seem to get all the attention from the press talking about Charlie's Angels and I loved the one with the long dark hair who was in it right from the start I think I must have been eight probably eight or nine eight yeah probably about eight years old when I first saw Charlie's Angels and I knew that me and her one day one day would never meet I'd tell you what I found very
strange the other day now do you know online you've got these people saying oh look look what he looks like now he was in that movie look what he looks like now look how he's aged like yeah everyone ages you know people that look 20 don't look 20 40 years later surprising I was caught off guard two days ago I think or maybe yesterday I'm still a little bit shook by it do you remember the song well those are old enough remember the song Mickey hey Mickey what a pity you
don't understand you take me by the heart when you take me by the hand and she was dressed up as a cheerleader with all the other cheerleaders and it well that's what they dressed up like on top of the pops I'm not probably the video as well and like you know wow she's 82 years old not when she did the video I'm talking now 82 years old she's older than my daddy I'm like how is that even possible because she had that hit in about 1984 so she was in her
50s 40s if she looked about 21 a 1920 it's really weird I just can't believe like how can how can she be older than how can anyone be older than my dad how is that even a thing it can't be possible I'm not being rude but oh come on how can you be older than my dad will be 80 this year I'd really like to get him something nice like something that he'll not remember because it's not really about I don't know at this age this time of his life I'm
not sure it's about memories other than just enjoying time isn't it well maybe it is I don't know but something that I really like but I don't know firstly what he'd like and I can't really afford to do much so just normally what I do is just send him a gift from moon pig.com and I really need to get some kind of sponsorship I think usually I'd sent like on his birthday Christmas and Father's Day I'll send stuff from moon pig and I'll get him some like a bottle of whiskey
scotch that comes from there as well the only time I ever got him something that was nice I just realized that's not true but probably the only time I got him anything that was fun fun fun is I bought him a drone this is when I was working so I had some money to play around with a long time ago so I bought him a drone it wasn't expensive one but it was you know it was a drone anyway so you could remote control in that we know what a drone
is okay and I literally bought it from a drone shop it was it wasn't the top top level but it was definitely like a beginner's sort of kit and next time I spoke to him I said how did you get on with a drone he said oh broke it so basically just broke as soon as he used it he just I don't know it's not quite sure what happened to it and I thought how can you expect to have nice things you can't keep anything nice can you dad you need
to start taking responsibility for yourself so I mean I've got him number one so I've got stuff that I got him like I mean at the time it was up to date but every single James Bond movie on DVD and a big box set they've made newer James Bond movies since and this is probably yes a long quite a bit time ago it's still in his house unopened so it's like well what was the point what was the point in buying that because like you literally I mean it's I know
you've got no control of what someone does with a gift but just at least if it was chocolate idiot I don't know just seems a bit pointless and I remember I think about 2003 maybe 2005 I've read this book it's by the same person that wrote chicken chicken soul for the soup thing and there was a book he wrote one of the authors wrote a book and I loved it so much so so very much that I bought a copy for every member of my family now I wonder how many
of them even looked at it I realized it's kind of one of those things isn't it and I'm probably the same as well someone buys me a book unless I'm interested in the book I'm probably just you got that for me but because this was such a positive life-affirming not spiritual but just I guess spiritual but it kind of more very positive book getting tired now and it had transformed the way that I was thinking and I thought if you could do that for other people a little bit there's got
to be worth it and I gave these books out and I've never seen so many disappointed faces it's I can only compare that disappointed look to what any time in anyone's seen me naked really look at all I was hoping for more I really liked him it's a shame your relationship has to end now so yeah I was trying to think did I ever get anyone a decent present I suppose that I've not had any presents really I've had presents but like family wise I mean the one of Finny the
picture that was done that was done like by my stepmom my second stepmom so that was that's probably the best present I've ever had from a family member because that's a lot of effort goes into doing something like that it's you know it's not an easy thing if I attempted to even copy that picture it end up looking probably I don't know a witch covered in treacle trying to light a candle I don't know it wouldn't it wouldn't look like what it is wouldn't look like him I just don't you
know I'm just just not my thing really so to put that much effort into drawing and painting something for a present is an amazing present and then to have been Andre and Vinnie in the same picture is also just amazing Cara thank you it's then the picture of me as a little baby I don't know why I want it on now I just want to remind myself that I used to be little I used to be a baby used to be innocent used to be precious kind of imagine that turned
into this that little like nothing going on to traveling all the way through my life now my timeline through all the weird things that happened that brought me here today hmm I tell what I started doing is watching Spartacus house of ash now I watch Spartacus when it first came out I think which was I don't even know what year it was but I loved it I want to look that up because it's gonna bug me because it has so I was trying to figure did I watch Spartacus when I
was in this flat because I don't remember Spartacus let's have a look at Spartacus Spartacus okay here we go here we go ah wow 2010 so 2015 years ago it started 16 years ago there was three seasons so I know the original Spartacus unfortunately why they I can't believe they've actually got Spartacus there and they literally showing the end of the third season right as a video as a as a thumbnail as a like a trailer that's ridiculous why would they do that that's absolutely ridiculous it's three seasons but didn't
they have Spartacus I'm sure they had like a third one where it was based on a different person like another one of the Spartacan people who became friends with Spartacus well anyway the way they've done it is Ash who was kind of the baddie in Spartacus he's kind of maybe that's what it is what they're showing that because they're promoting the new house of ash but the original ending for the Spartacus TV show is undone basically by the narrator saying or what if that didn't happen what if this happened instead
I'm being very vague so I don't ruin it for anyone that maybe hasn't seen the original Spartacus TV show because I recommend it it's very good it's awful at certain times and the language patterns the language there's a lot of naughty words but I don't get offended by stuff like that because I'm an adult but I the the way they're talking is this I don't know if it's Shakespearean or what it is I need to look into it because I've forgotten how enjoyable it is because I haven't watched it for
absolutely ages probably 10 years so I watched it when it first came out I probably know me I probably streamed downloaded it or maybe I got yeah I might got the I might got it from blockbusters actually because blockbusters was still around then I think it was or I streamed it downloaded it and watched it on my computer one of them I don't know but whatever it was I I loved the show and I didn't even know that they'd done a new one didn't know just like it's on not MGM
the other one the one I mentioned earlier that's got the boxing on if you live in America so it's on there and I'm like wow it's this because I know the first season of Spartacus was quite big news because unfortunately the main character was ill and he wasn't they had to cast someone different as Spartacus in the next season so that made you know the TV show had a lot of press coverage and also because of the kind of the kind of content because glad it's a gladiatorial isn't it and
I'm liking it I am really liking the new series house of ash so he's basically given got given another chance to to see what it's almost like what would life have been like if it had been a different ending for him and now they're just going down that road it's it's a weird way to do it I mean I think EastEnders was very strange the way they started the new year by showing what happens next new year so New Year's Day 2027 or I think there was a sign saying Happy
New Year 2025 but then a New Year's Day they were showing signs outside the post saying Happy New Year 2026 or 2020 I don't know you know I mean it's like it's a year ahead like what's going on and I'm watching it I can't figure out what the heck are they doing because I haven't I genuinely did not know what they were doing if I missed something what why what so basically it started with what's his name Max Brannan on his wedding day getting married no we don't know who he's
getting married to because it's a year away so he's getting married on New Year's Day and he's getting phone calls he's answering but he doesn't you don't get to see who he's talking to and then you see like three or four different women getting dresses ready for the wedding the first way he wakes up in bed with someone never get to see who that is and then his daughter she's been like seeing some bloke so that that's a weird thing and then the armed police come along and trying to arrest
Max and he's hiding from them this is all on his wedding day don't know what he's done and it's a year ahead and I'm thinking have they just missed out 2026 they've just written it off decided let's go straight into 2027 that'll make people weird especially people who've got a hangover from last night I think they've slept the whole year ooh it did feel weird like watching it like this is strange someone's messing with me and then he ends up getting arrested because his his daughter dobs him in or just
tells the police he's there dobs him in and then it ends and the next day or the first episode in January after new year's day just goes back to normal from new year's eve just go as it was as you were lads like and I'm looking I think what's going on why why have they done this because that's a very strange thing to do maybe I'm wrong but I've never seen that done before it's freaky it's just freaky it's just a weird just very very strange I'm like really strange I
didn't like really really but yeah but I'm behind now because I watched some of the you know beginning of the year I'm probably about two weeks behind if not more of EastEnders and the more and more behind I'm getting the less I want to catch up because I know it's going to take me hours and hours and hours to do it and I just don't know if I've got the energy to do it and I'm not sure if I've got the energy to sit there I mean I know that I
can just watch it the latest episode and pretty much be caught up with probably at least 60 to 70 percent knowledge of what's happened by just putting bits together I don't know I just it's nice to keep some kind of ritual though I don't have ritual or custom watching EastEnders was a custom it's an English custom that's it's I mean technically it's quite new it's only been around since 1985 but it's a custom like watching Coronation Street or for me watching Big Brother when it's on but apparently they're not they're
not doing Celebrity Big Brother this year no don't know why but they're just not doing it so the first Big Brother apparently won't be here till the autumn which is not good personally but at least have it on in the summer why why not have you know it's because in the summer tv is pretty not great in the summer on tv like normal tv never has been it's always because more people are out doing stuff and it's just not maybe that's why they don't want it on they don't want it
on in the summer because less people are watching but I like it in the summer because then people can sit in the garden can't they the contestants can sit in the garden and sunbathe and just you know it can be quite nice especially if someone in there that I love I've loved a few of the contestants in there not recently though I'm not even sure if I could remember who was in it last time oh yeah I do yeah I remember one of them oh yeah there was that girl kept
saying I'm sorry Vinnie didn't know you was there kept saying say it with chest say it with chest then a year before there was someone kept saying um what's that term kept saying a term it was an lgbt term um I've lost I forget what it was but she kept saying almost like she was trying to learn it herself and you know if you keep saying the same word over and over again it loses its meaning doesn't it anyway oh but yes once I say it with chest and then she's
the same one saying um oh yeah I'm not angry I'm passionate it's like okay you tell your face and your voice and your physical demeanor that that you're not angry because everything's showing anger right now my dear I am passionate put the hammer down and sword not lush what was the word oh it's amazing I can't remember it because she said it all the time slice slide side ice pride shied died mied slide that's it was always that's pied it was that kind of word I'm sure it was a hide
slayed slayed that's it slayed it slayed alright slayed have I got the right word slayed slayed slayed I think that's the word and she just kept saying it over and over and over again that's why okay learning a new word I used to this someone I used to say lol like instead of laughing they'd say lol what laughing is uncontrollable is you can't you can't control laughter it just happens or it doesn't happen it's not automatically by accident going to come out as lol that's you couldn't that's it couldn't have
like someone saying something you don't find it funny oh yeah yeah lol it's just sarcasm really isn't it lol the only people I know that could do that I'm not in that industry anymore but stand-up comedians they'll actually watch another act do a do a joke and say that's a really funny joke without smiling without laughing anything because they're just so they just know what's funny they could say oh yeah it's a good line and I never got to that stage either I laughed or I didn't laugh I wasn't um
like some kind of expert comedy writer but I always found it weird that they could just stand around like yeah it's a good line or no that's copied what's his name does that line or they've changed it or no that didn't work but if they did it like this it'd work differently it'd be better or I did that joke last night it went down really well this is weird weird times is my pizza on the way that's the question is it on the way is it on the way it's six
minutes away from here six minutes away from here zoological society I didn't know there was a zoological society around here Amir is delivering and he's got a Ford Fiesta Ford Fiesta got 91% rating the thing is I've noticed this myself sometimes I get delivery most of my uber deliveries are groceries hardly any like uh fast food really well depends but yeah mainly groceries and fast food anyway stop judging me um sometimes I get a delivery and I'm not I don't go straight to my phone to do a like a you
know click the thumb up button and then press all the buttons to say it was wonderful everything which I normally do so sometimes I forget so that person this um Amir Amir 91% he might just had eight percent of these people not bother because some people are just never gonna leave a tip and they're never gonna leave a comment or rate some people just never do that unless it's 91% of people I have rated and nine percent of those put down a negative comment or negative rating that's what it might
be so it might not just be 91% of people that he's delivered to because I don't think anyone's going to get not everybody's going to get 100% ratings like from people they're not going to get a lot of people just won't do the ratings they won't bother filling in the form so maybe that 91% is from they just do the the rating based on the ratings have had come in not based on how many orders they've delivered and whether or not someone's done a rating I'm not going to ask him
just in case because he might be touchy about it so my friend right knocked on my door earlier and he said all right I was in bed having a little nap then he woke me up screaming in my ears to get out of bed so I go to the door haven't got my glasses on look for the people okay come in you're right he walks in then he's excited to see him it's his uncle so he goes in and he said I've seen you've eight glasses before I said well I'd
like to say the same to you but where are you I can hear you we laughed and he basically the reason he came round is because he'd left his phone in the taxi he'd just got a taxi from town phoned up so he's my phone up phoned up the taxi firm and they said oh the taxi driver is about five minutes away but he's on the way to he's going somewhere and dropping someone off at the hospital and then he's then he's gonna have to come all the way back and
you're gonna have to pay like 15 pound and they said but you said that he's just right just near me said yeah he's gonna have to go past where you live to get to the hospital so can't he just drop it off here I realized later on like maybe she was in a she's going to the hospital so obviously that's that's that's more important than anything else but um it doesn't she might have been to you know visiting someone or something but he literally was passing and they called back and
said yeah just be outside in eight minutes or it was probably actually to be honest about four or five minutes and the driver just stopped gave him the thing and said no charge and just drove off to me that seemed like quite an interesting story but I can add to it is I kept forgetting he didn't have his phone and I said to him he said I either left it in the pharmacy or left it in a taxi I said why are you on the phone to the taxi why don't
I use my phone and call up the pharmacy and he said I'm using your phone because my phone isn't here I haven't got it I said okay it's true and then he's on a taxi firm and they're saying do you know who driver was and um I'm like I'm trying to get his attention to say well why don't you look at your text because you'll be able to see the the registration who the driver was when they picked you up and again I remembered he can't do that because he doesn't
have his phone it was getting a little bit silly in the end I did I just kept quiet and he said he was doing the same thing when he got home it's like like just it's weird we get used to having them don't we don't we hey don't we don't we I'm a very well-spoken young man oh yes oh indeed so I've got uh two minutes I do sometimes wonder though it says oh I've arrived he's here so I'm gonna go thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy be gentle with yourself you deserve to feel safe lots of love bye
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.