(Long Voice Only) Monday’s Boring Objects #1597 Let me bore you to sleep Jason Newland 20th April 2026

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome again, de, de, and this is, okay. That was a very good introduction tune was it really? It's Monday's Boring Objects. And I really worked hard on that introduction.

I spent seconds preparing for it, but it's okay. I'm feeling all right. Not everything goes to plan.

So, you know, me. So welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Monday's Boring Objects, and I am going to actually do a Monday's Boring Objects properly.

Unlike last week, when I planned to talk about cats and ended up talking about who knows what. So I did have a message. Let me see if I can find the message.

Let me have a look. Let me have a look. Jason Newlands boring group.

That's my Facebook group if you want to join. I had a message I think it was last week. Asking me if I could do a Monday's Boring Objects that actually talk about cats and dogs, but I can't find the message anywhere.

Oh, I think it was part of my Q&A Friday. Let's have a look. No.

Any questions for Q&A Friday? OK, I'm pretty sure it was. So let's have a look. Beam, beam, beam, beam, beam, beam, beam, beam.

Poor comments. Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh. Right, Maria.

Not so much a question, Jason, but more of a suggestion. As you didn't talk about cats last night in Monday's Boring Objects, would it be possible to talk about different breeds of cats or dogs at some stage in the future? Well, I can talk about cats and dogs that I've witnessed or that I've kind of met in my life. So I'll do that today.

And so that's kind of the closest thing, I think. I suppose Tuesday, Trivia Tuesday, could be something where like random facts about cats and dogs. But I have had a bit of experience with some dogs and cats over the years because I've moved address so many times.

So, yeah, maybe I'll do that. So I'm going to do that, Maria. I'm going to this is this recording is dedicated to Maria.

So please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. And my name's Jason Newland. I have two websites.

One is jasonnewland.com, which is my podcast website. And I have Jason Newland dot store where you can download my recordings. And every time I do a new recording, I upload them to the store.

And. Now, the store is not full, but it is kind of getting there. The Let Me Bore You To Sleep ones are all up to date.

I think. Yeah, pretty much. And I've been in the process.

The let me bore your pain away was done. Sleep hypnosis. I'm now I've done.

The I've done the short voice, only short, long voice, only overnight voice only. And I've done the short music. So I've only got two more sections to do in all the sleep hypnosis playlist finished.

I'll still be doing this at Christmas. It's still, you know, it's a big process. But I'm getting there.

I'm getting there gradually. So the the normal recordings without music. Well, basically, now what I do is.

Instead of going back years and years and years and years. I upload the latest ones, whether it's the overnight music or the overnight voice or. All six versions got uploaded to Let Me Bore You To Sleep section of the store.

So you can download them for free. See, yeah, it's really weird. I did a recording number 1583 about being in the sea cadets and the picture of the person looks very similar to my brother.

It's not weird. So. So that's it.

Not very exciting, was it? I've got Facebook group, as I said, I'm on YouTube. So you can find me on YouTube easily enough. Let Me Bore You To Sleep or just by my name, Jason Newland.

And every day I upload my latest recording, the first 59 minutes to X, Instagram and. TikTok. So I get.

I get a few people watching on TikTok more than the others. So. Let me have a look, because I know probably a few of you are thinking.

Tell us the stats, JJ. So I will. Let's have a look.

Stats analytics. I can't do it because they're making me update the app. Download.

I can download it. I've got data. I found someone up the other day.

And they said, oh, just hang up. I don't use all your credit. Credit.

I'm not school. I mean, credit on my phone. This isn't the 90s.

Blimey. Or have a contract. It's not even expensive.

I mean, it's expensive if you're buying the phone at the same time. But to just get a like a phone. Pay as you not pay as you go, but like just the SIM only.

I think I'm only paying like 20 quid a month. And it's unlimited calls, unlimited taxes. Which is all I need.

It's never going to run out like. Mind you, I don't use it much. I'm not really.

Not really a phone caller. I do have the occasional long phone calls with people. But I try to avoid it because.

This is weird, right? This might be a weird way of thinking about things. Sometimes I'll talk on the phone for ages. And I realized that.

I could have used that time and that energy up for a podcast. And I'm too tired to do a podcast. It's like I've used all my words up.

Which is a bit strange in it. So, yeah. Yeah, what was I going to say? What was I going to say? I was going to say something.

Right. Yeah, I'm not going to mention it. Just something happened at the weekend.

That was a little bit jarring. I had a conversation with my father. He told me off on the phone.

On loudspeaker. Because of something I said. I basically said something to my stepsister.

Because she said something. I just said it to make her laugh. And she did laugh.

But weirdly enough, I forgot I was on loudspeaker. Which is probably a bit strange. But I'm not a big fan of loudspeaker.

When there's other people about. I'm a one-on-one person. So I got told off.

Because I used a naughty word. Yeah. So that was.

Sent me spiraling if I'm honest. But hey. That's a whole different story.

So. What else have I got? That's it pretty much. Everything's up to date.

I have. I've already done. Wow.

You'd be so proud of me. I've already done. I need someone to be.

I've already done a hypnosis recording this morning. Because I wasn't in the best state of mind yesterday. I ended up going to bed very early.

About seven. Six or seven. So I woke up at midnight.

With Vinnie standing on me. Saying. Just staring at me.

Get up. It's like why? So I think he was bored. So I mean we normally go to bed about 10.

Between 10 and 11. That's pretty much the. Twelve's the latest.

Nine's the earliest. Generally. And so I got up.

We were both awake. So I had my breakfast. And then.

Watched a bit of TV or a bit of a movie. And then. I. Listened to some music for a while.

Some classical music. Which is something I do every day. Just to calm me down and.

So I fell asleep. Woke up went back to bed. And then I got up again.

Six. Now this isn't my normal process. It's just.

This is what happened yesterday. Or this morning. Woke up at six this morning.

And. I made. A hypnosis recording.

Yeah. Made it or did I. Did I. No I think I might just. Listen to some music again.

And then or watch TV. Then I made a recording between. I don't know about.

Just after eight o'clock in the morning. Or was it half past seven. And it's all anyway.

It's all recorded. Edited. Uploaded.

Everything. By just after nine. AM.

And then I took him out. For a wonder. Took Vinnie out.

So I haven't told you this. I don't know if he's doing it now. Vinnie's got a new.

Best friend. It's a blue ball. He stole it off another dog.

On. I think it was Saturday. Might have been Friday.

And I tried to get it out of his mouth. And the owner of the other dog said. Don't worry about it.

Just let him have it. I think it's the third ball. He's stolen off that dog.

I was like really. She said yeah. So I let him have it.

The difference is. It seems to have fallen in love with this ball. Unlike the other balls where.

He's got a lot of balls. Which he just. He's got a lot of balls.

They're just on the floor. He doesn't touch them. This ball.

He's got an attachment to. It's. I guess it's just the right shape.

The right. It's the right texture. Whatever for him.

And he's happy with it. And. He's got it with him.

It's like he's never far away from it. Really. And I went out with him today.

We went out. He had the ball. We said go and get your ball.

And he came out with a ball in his mouth. We actually went around. He did drop it a couple of times.

And then I said. Go and get your ball. So.

He. He forgets about it. Because he's focused.

I guess on. The smells. And you know.

Other things happening. But he's very possessive of it. And we've just gone around.

To see his mum. And usually. He'll go in the garden.

But he'll come back. He won't spend much time in the garden. He was.

Spent quite a lot of time in the garden. Playing with his ball. And then he'd come in.

And he'd jump all over us. And stuff. And.

But he really. You know. When it's time to go.

I put his lead on. And he just came to the front door. And left.

Normally he makes a big fuss. He barks. Everything.

Because he doesn't want to leave. He didn't care. He had the ball in his mouth.

And he was happy to go. And he led me home. Went upstairs.

Ran into the living room. With his ball. It's giving him.

It seems to be giving him. Some kind of comfort. Which.

And he just seemed happier with it. I can't. I don't really know how to explain it.

It's nice. So I'm going to. I'm just going to make sure.

That it's with him. Every time we go out. I make sure he's got the ball.

And. Yeah. It'll be good.

Oops. What was that? Wow. So yeah.

It's. I'm quite pleased. It's a blue ball.

Not that it's really going to make any difference. To anyone's life. Me telling you that.

But. It's a blue ball. And it's plastic.

And. He likes it. He loves it.

In fact. And it's the first time. I've seen him get attached.

To anything. As far as toys go. You know.

I have seen him play with balls. And there's this little plastic thing. That he loves.

Around his mums. Which is this little red plastic thing. And he loves playing with that.

Like jumping up. And chasing it around and stuff. But this ball.

That's almost on a different level. And. Yeah.

I just. It's nice. It's almost like he's starting to act like a dog.

So. I was pleased with that. I am pleased with it still.

I'm trying to think of anything else. What else there is. Going on.

Before I do the. The recording. Because Monday now.

This is Monday the 20th of April. 2000. And 26.

I had a shave yesterday. So I shaved my beard off. Or was it.

Saturday. I shaved my beard off at some point. And.

When did I do a recording last. Was it yes. Was it Saturday.

I did a Q&A Friday didn't I. And Saturday. So I watched a boxing on. Saturday night.

That was good. All the fights were good. Every single one.

And Whittaker. Was really good. So it's starting to make me think that maybe.

I need to do a boxing podcast. Just a boring boxing. Podcast.

For sleep. And just. Maybe do an episode a week.

Have it separate. But I'll include it in. The let me boys sleep.

Because it'd be a. Like part of the family. In the same way as trivia Tuesday. Monday's boring objects.

Or. Bedtime story time. Although not made one of them for.

Yonks and yonks and yonks. But perhaps I could do. A boring boxing one on a Sunday.

And just talk about the boxing. That I watched the previous night. I could do good night.

And talk about upcoming fights. And stuff like that. And it'll be both interesting.

And boring at the same time. Potentially. Depends on who's listening.

Interesting to me. But boring to everyone else. Yeah.

I need. I need to contact the council. About the old windows.

Not the windows. The radiators. Apparently I was talking to someone.

It's already had their radiators replaced. It takes a day. That includes a new boiler.

But I'm not going to need a new boiler. Because my boiler is only about. Six years old.

It's 90. 2019. I think boilers last for about 20.

30 years don't they. So. Was it one.

One. Two. Three.

Four. Five. One.

Two. Three. Four.

Five radiators. In this building. In this flat.

So it's probably not going to take long at all. If they put in a new kitchen. Wow.

Groovy baby. That'll be something special. In fact what I'll try and do.

If they do put a new kitchen in. I'll have to try and see if I can get myself. Make sure they leave a gap.

So that I can put in a big. Oh wait a minute. A big.

Or. A decent size. Fridge freezer.

At the moment I've just still got the old. Well I bought a new fridge when I moved in. Which is on top of the counter.

And an old freezer. That was given to me. This was 11 years ago.

So the old freezer is probably about. 5000 years old. And I don't really use that.

Because it's too low down. But I've got a chest. Freezer.

Like a small chest freezer. And. That's the one I use better.

Because it's just easier to get to stuff. So. Hmm.

Hmm. I'm not sure. Not sure what I'll do.

But. It would be nice to get a tumble dryer. But I seem to.

I kind of do alright without one. But. Yeah.

I mean it's a faff. The whole moving out stuff. And you know all that.

It'll be worth it. To have a new kitchen. I mean.

Because I've got a very small kitchen. It'd be nice to have a big kitchen. Just.

Just a little bit of space. A little bit of. A little bit more cupboard space.

A little bit more counter space. You know. I could probably.

Add some counter space. To the wall. Where the radiator is.

Above the radiator. Sort of have something there. And I don't know.

I suppose it's possible. I'll probably have to just buy that myself. And attach it.

I could technically have more space. If I wanted to. Or more.

You know space to do stuff. So. Because I do.

I do wonder sometimes. Whether or not I should. Perhaps.

Do a bit of cooking. Like proper cooking. You know.

Like I used to do when I was at school. I know why I don't do it. Because it's only me.

And. Well it's not the only reason I don't do it. But.

I thought it wouldn't. Actually when I think of cooking. I'm thinking of.

Maybe making my own bread. Or maybe do a bit of baking. Some cakes and stuff.

Yeah. That'd be nice. Yeah.

Or. So. I. Cats and dogs.

I'll quickly flick through the first one. Because there was a cat. That I've already talked about.

Tigger. Who was. Didn't have a long.

This was when I was seven. Wasn't my cat. It was a family cat.

She. Yeah she. She left us quite early.

She was buried down at the bottom of the garden. I think that's what happened last year. Last year last Monday.

I mentioned the bottom of the garden. Where she was buried. So I mentioned the bottom of the garden.

Where she was buried. By the way I've decided to add some. Dogs barking in the background.

Just to add a bit of. Authenticity to this recording. Okay.

And. Just sporadically. Just so it fits in with the recording.

See. Can you hear that? And. Magic.

Magic. And then. I think I got talking about the.

The dryer. You know the twirly dryer things. Where you put your clothes on.

And they twirl around. Or you can twirl them around. To put more on you know.

Kind of like in a. Umbrella kind of shape. And for some reason I got. Diverted to.

A different subject. Altogether. And never quite got back to.

Cats. So I'm not going to go down that journey again. I'm just going to.

Move on from there. There was an Alsatian that attacked me. But I think he just.

I was on my bike and he jumped on me. Didn't. Didn't do anything.

But just. Was a little bit. Wasn't nice.

I think I managed to get the day off school. With that one. So that was good.

I kind of. In the middle of like. Is this going to give me.

A phobia of dogs. But at the same time. I got a day off school.

So it's actually quite a good thing. So it's yeah. I mean I wasn't injured or anything.

It was just a dog off the lead. It should have been on the lead. Local local person.

Other dogs. After that. I'm just going back.

My nan had lots of cats. Lots and lots of cats. And.

She was a. She attracted cats. And. A pussy magnet.

You might say. She really. These pussy cats from all over the neighborhood.

Well. When. They had the last cat.

Left. My granddad said no more cats. He didn't want any more cats.

And my nan said OK. And my dad went out. My granddad went out.

And he came back. And there was about three cats in the living room. Two on the city.

One on her lap. And she was just looking and smiling. Because they weren't her cats.

They were the neighbor cats. When he was out. The cats came round.

From all around the neighborhood. And just used to hang out with her. And with her cats.

So. His rule of no more cats. Didn't mean anything.

Because the cats loved her. He used to sit on my lap. It was quite nice.

Very friendly. I think she was so cat friendly. That they just.

They loved her. That's just one of those things. They loved being in her house.

They used to let themselves in. Because she had a cat flap. On the door.

She didn't have a cat flap. It was on the back door. And they used to help themselves.

And just come and go. We didn't have those. You know those collar alarm things.

That cats have now. So they. Can only.

Only the cat. The owner. The cats that live in the house.

Can get in and out. Didn't have that kind of technology. In the late 70s.

At least I don't think we did. I didn't. Anyway.

So after that. Cats and dogs. Let's see.

I remember. Wow. I remember the.

A couple of my friends. Had pets. Like my friend Jason.

Who went on. He became. A chef.

So I used to be friends with him. He'd live around the corner. And I'd hang out with him.

And. And he had a dog. It was Dalmatian.

Not Dalmatian. He had a. What's the ones that. Deaf people have.

Not Dalmatians. What did. The white one.

The yellow ones. Dalmatians. The ones with the spots in it.

The ones with the acne. Anyway. Those ones.

Such a beautiful dog. Big. Calm.

The most chilled out dog. I've seen in my entire life. And it would just be lying there.

Sunbathing. But there was quite a steep. Bunch of steps.

To get up to. In order for him to. To get home.

And. I think he preferred just to be down there. Because it was a bit of a hike.

To get up. I do wonder though. Why didn't I. Because I had friends.

And then I just. I don't know if it's. They just didn't want me.

Visiting anymore. But I had this friend. Jason.

And. It's hard not to like. Someone called Jason isn't it.

It's almost. Such a lovely name. So instant.

Instant kind of. Oh. You know.

It's. It's got. It's.

Oh dear. I'm just being silly. So yeah.

I don't know what happened. With our friendship though. Because.

I'd known him since junior school. All the way through high school. I used to hang around with him.

But then I stopped. And I don't know why. Really don't know why.

I was still friends. Like friendly. At school and that.

But. I remember when I was about. 17.

I think I was 17. I got a job. I might be an 18.

I got a job in. A hotel kitchen. And he was the chef.

Or he was the assistant chef. In there. And.

It's weird. Because I was so pleased. That he was doing so well.

You know. Because. I might have even been in.

Home economics with him. Yeah. Doing cooking and stuff.

I might have even gone to catering college with him. I can't remember. He might have been there.

I didn't go with him. But he might have been there as well. But he went on to actually.

Become an actual chef. Chef. Mine was just part of my.

Work in the chip shop. So I went to college. One day a week.

For a year. In catering college. Because that meant that.

My. Boss could then pay me. £27.30 a week.

To do a job that he should have been. They'd previously been paying me. £60 a week to do.

So. Me going there on a Wednesday. No.

I think it was a Wednesday. It kind of. It meant that I was fulfilling.

What he had to fulfill. He's going to college. And.

He's making it like official. It's very silly. I mean literally I was.

In catering college. And I was. And I was.

It was. The YTS scheme. Youth training scheme.

And it was supposed to kind of. Replace the. The old.

What was the scheme called. Where people become. So I'm becoming an.

Oh. Dear. Dear.

Dear. Apprentice. Oh.

I just added a bit of dog there. I might add a dog in this bit. In the background.

It was. Yeah. Kind of.

Because you used to have an apprentice scheme. Where people would come along. And they do.

Two or three years. And then they'd be qualified. And maybe they go to college one day.

A year. And then they go back. Through an electrician.

Or a builder. Or whatever. Now.

You would never have got an apprenticeship. In a chip shop. That wouldn't have happened.

Like in my dad's day. Because they wouldn't have took it seriously. Because apprenticeships was for.

It wasn't. It wasn't just for like. Building and.

But it was for. Someone to end up with an actual. Qualification.

And a trade. And I would say probably. Being a chef is a trade.

Isn't it. Or a baker. Or.

I don't know. Just lots of different kinds of jobs. Where.

You would. End up with a trade. You know.

With carpenter. Machine worker maybe. I don't know.

Lots of different things. So in the 80s. What happened is.

I think the apprentice. Was still available. You could still become an apprentice.

With someone. Who would be like a qualified person. Who then take you on.

And pay you. Minimum wage. But you would.

They would teach you how to do the job. And you go to college once a week. And stuff.

For. I don't know. Two or three.

Three years or whatever it is. But YTS was like a new thing. For school leavers.

And. A lot of companies. A lot of.

Places. Took advantage of it. Just to get.

Really cheap. Workers. And.

So. As I said. YTS at a chip shop.

Or YTS. At an arcade. Or YTS.

In. I'm trying to think. I had a friend who was in a butcher's.

Doing a YTS scheme. But that gave him a trade. You know.

He became a butcher at the end of it. Richard. His name was.

So. It's. Yeah.

They just. Some people took advantage. Of.

The situation. Which I can understand. It makes sense a bit.

Doesn't it? I guess. If you're an employer. And.

Why pay £60.00. When you can pay. £27.00. I don't think they even paid the full amount. I think they only.

I think the government paid it. I don't think they paid. Hardly anything towards it.

I might be wrong there though. Because a government sponsored. Scheme.

Oh dear. So. Yeah.

I mean. If I went back. I'd have still done this.

I'd have worked there till. The YTS kicked in. And then left.

So I just said look. I'm leaving unless you continue. To pay me £60.00. And then they could chip in.

And then I could choose. You know. Because then by then.

Because I started. I started part time in about March. At the weekends.

While I was still at school. So I did like a Saturday. And maybe a couple of evenings.

And then when I left school. I still had to go back for exams. I was then started to work.

More hours. And I'd have time off to do my exams. Which were about June time.

So I was getting paid full time. Pretty much from. Like.

May, June, July. August. So I was getting £60.00 a week.

Probably during that time period. And then September. I went down to £27.30. And.

It's weird that I remember the number. Isn't it? It's etched in my brain. But I didn't have the confidence.

Back then to do that. And say look. I. No.

I want to. I want to earn enough. So I can actually do things.

Because even £60.00. Wasn't a lot of money. But it's a lot more money. Than I'd ever had in my life.

Before. Because I was 15 years old. So.

£60.00 a week. Was nice. By September.

I turned 16. And. You might be thinking.

What's this got to do with. Cats and dogs. But I'll be honest with you.

I'm enjoying talking about this. So. Sorry.

I will come back to cats and dogs. I promise. I. I don't know.

I just. There's so many opportunities. It.

Bugs me a little bit. My. My friends.

Got a son at 17. And he really doesn't see. The opportunities.

That are there for him. Right now. He's literally.

Left school. The only problem is. Unlike when I was 16.

He can't get any help. He. Is like a rule I think.

Either you work. Or you go to college. So you can't get any benefits.

You can't get any. Monetary help. Which means that she's struggling.

Because she's. You know she's feeding him. All that stuff.

So. And I just. I really want to just like.

You don't. This is. Possibly the only time in your life.

Not the best time necessarily. But the only. The one time in your life.

Where. You're never going to need a reference. Unless you have to give qualifications.

And stuff but. It's literally a clean slate. Providing you haven't been in prison.

And stuff like that. Because that can. Certain jobs you can't do.

In there but. It's a clean slate. And it's such a great place to be.

Because. And he's got a motorbike. Which means he can get to places.

It's so many options for him. But then I realized that. And I was the same at that age.

I didn't care. I had no motivation for career. I was pretty much living on my own.

Like I was living on my own at 17. I was living on my own at 16. So I ended up living above the flat.

When I was 16. It was. I was 16 in the August.

The end of August. And I moved in Easter. The next year.

And then from then on. I was in and out of different places. For decades.

And. I didn't at the time. I didn't realize.

What a good position I was in. Even though it's difficult. Because I wasn't like living with fam.

I wasn't at home. I wasn't living that kind of lifestyle. Where I could kind of get away with everything.

And not have to buy any food. Or pay any rent. Or anything like that.

I was very much not in that situation. Because my rent was £40 a week. And I was earning £27.30 a week.

So I had to do extra overtime. So I ended up with. £47 a week.

Coming in. £47. And I had £7 to live on.

And that was with like working. Just working all the hours really. I had Sunday off.

But it was. Yeah. Wow.

So £27.30. Yeah. So I did. I got an extra £20 a week.

Added on. To my YM. Y. YTS.

Yeah. Money. And.

£7.00. It wasn't even a lot then. I mean there's a heck of a lot. Then than it is now.

I guess. I thought I'd add some dogs in the background. Just to remind me of the dogs.

Cats and dogs. It's nice to have some background sound. Just to remind me.

Of the subject matter. Don't you think. Yeah.

So yeah. I finally think. Talking to dogs.

I had another friend. Cats. He had these.

Are they Siamese cats? The ones with no hair. The dog says yes. But I'm not sure.

What do you think? He had. Ivan. His name was.

He lived at the end of the road. Turn left. And on the right hand side.

Yeah. Really. Really nice bloke.

Or kid. Whatever. At the time.

Same age as me. His mum was brilliant. Honestly.

I loved his mum. She was so friendly. So kind.

She'd. If I went round. And he wasn't there.

She'd just say. Just wait. And she'd invite me in for dinner.

It's. Absolutely. You know it's weird.

I remember he came up. He was upstairs playing pool. And I think I was moaning.

Oh blimey. That dog's still going isn't it? But I was moaning about something. And Ivan said.

He got annoyed with me. He said. You're rich.

Compared to me. And you know. Because I had a snooker table.

And. He's like. It was a much bigger house.

And stuff. Big garden. What he didn't realise.

Is. What he did have. That I didn't have.

He had. Two older brothers. That he.

Got on really. Really well with. And he had a mother.

That was really. It was. He had a happy home.

That was just a nice happy home. Do you know what I mean? And. Yeah it wasn't a big house.

But the energy was lovely. And I tried to say to him. Yeah I'm a millionaire.

But it doesn't. I didn't say that. I said.

First of all I'm not rich. It is a big house. It was a derelict house.

When we moved in. You know. I think it was like.

Sixteen grand. When my dad bought it. Which is not a lot of money.

For a house that size. A seven bedroom house. Well six plus a box room.

Three storey. And. Massive garden.

Helipad. Swimming pool on the roof. You know.

Gates made of gold. Yeah just general normal house. And he got.

He's like. Oh you're rich. You've got everything.

I'm like. No. No not at all.

I mean my step mom was lovely. Very friendly. She was.

And very welcoming to any. All my friends. She's always welcoming.

Just. Just as friendly as his mom was. To me.

So there wasn't. Like. It wasn't about that.

But just. The atmosphere. Wasn't the same.

It wasn't. It wasn't. The same kind of atmosphere.

That he had in his house. And I preferred it in his house. Than mine.

I think he preferred it in my house. I do. He should have swapped.

Maybe. But his. Mom was phenomenal.

And his brothers. They all had motorbikes. And they were all cool.

They were like the Fonz. A bit like. You know what I mean.

Like a couple of Fonz's. And he had a motorbike. And he was a. A junior Fonz.

Growing up. To be a Fonz. And.

We didn't hang out so much. After probably the second year. At high school.

Third year. But we're still friends with him. We're still in the same classrooms.

And we're still. We're still friends. We're just.

It's a bit like family. Isn't it? I think when you're at school. And you're in a classroom.

With the same people. For years. Year and year.

And year on year on. Like five years in a row. Or something.

They're just like family. And some. You enjoy spending time with.

And some you don't. And some. You go through periods.

Won't you? I suppose. When you're. You're there for them.

When they need you. Or you care about them. But you don't necessarily.

Feel the need to. Acknowledge. That they exist.

That's how I think. Other people felt about me. Everyone cared about me.

They just didn't want. They didn't feel that need. To acknowledge my existence.

So yeah. But there was a lot of love there. Towards me.

I do believe. In my. Fantasy.

But there was. Maybe. I don't know.

Anyway. Anyway. I. He had.

Or his mum. Had these two cats. That stood.

It's very much like Egyptian. Do you know if you go to the Egyptian. Temples.

I've only seen them on TV. And in movies and stuff. They've got the long necks.

But there. Didn't have any hair on them. They look like they've been plucked.

Big eyes. They're very rare. Rare cats.

And they weren't allowed outside. Because. I don't know.

I don't know why. I don't think they were anyway. But they used to look at me.

And you know. I don't think anyone would steal anything. Because they gave that look like.

We're watching. Always watching. And they didn't.

They might have been really cuddly. And affectionate. But not to me.

They kind of would just. They'd sit on the. Sit on the windowsill.

And one would be looking out. And one would be looking in. One watching me.

One watching to see when. I suppose when. A member of the family was coming home.

So. But even though the energy was still nice. It's just.

I don't know if they took to me. So that was. I'm trying to think of any of my friends.

Had. Dogs or cats. Nope.

Nope. No. No.

No. No I can't think of anyone else. That had dogs or cats.

Even in my road. But we did. In.

I don't know what age I was. I was. I wasn't old.

But I was definitely wasn't young either. I was young but I wasn't like. Five.

You know I was. I wasn't living there when I was five. Was I but.

For some reason. They got. A. By the way.

By the way. My analytics. Analytics has just come up for Tick Tock.

The last seven days. I've had one thousand three hundred. Eighty four views of my videos.

The last twenty eight days of it. Five thousand five hundred forty one. Views.

And the last 60 days of it. Thirteen thousand. And the last year.

It won't go back a year to be fair. It's going to go. It's only been the last.

By the way. There's seventy six thousand for the last year. But I'd say it's probably.

Four or five months. But the last 60 days. Thirteen thousand.

The last 30 days. Five and a half. The last seven days.

One thousand three hundred. Eighty four. So.

It's not bad is it. Do you think. And I got nine hundred.

Twenty nine. New viewers. In the last seven days.

And in the last. Wow. The last.

Year I got. Forty thousand. New viewers.

And the last 60 days. Six thousand nine hundred. Fifty one.

New viewers. Blimey. So the last seven days.

One thousand two hundred. Forty three. Viewers.

Twenty eight days. Three thousand nine hundred. Sixty four.

Viewers. So it's less than the views. But it's still.

These are total viewers. New viewers. OK.

Sixty days. Eight thousand eight hundred. Nine total viewers.

Six thousand nine hundred. Fifty one. New viewers.

And out of the one thousand. Two hundred. Forty three.

Total viewers. The last seven days. Nine hundred.

Twenty nine. A new. So let's have a look.

Male. It's 13 percent. Female.

Thirty four percent. And other is three percent. Age.

Eighteen to twenty four is fifty five percent. Twenty five to thirty four is twenty five. Does say fifty five percent sorry.

Twenty five to thirty four is twenty five point three percent. Thirty five to forty four is eight point four percent. Forty five to fifty four.

Can you believe I don't even fit into that category anymore. Forty five to fifty four is six point six percent. And my category.

Fifty five plus. Yes. Ladies and gentlemen.

Fifty five plus. Every time I hear it. To be fair.

The only time I hear it is when I say it. But every time I say it. I still can't believe it.

Four point seven percent. My age and above. Wow.

And followers. I don't have any followers to be honest. I've got two hundred and three new followers.

In the last year. Sixty days. Thirty one.

Twenty eight days. Seven. Last seven days.

Two new followers. Net followers. Is that net or new.

I think that's supposed to say new. Oh. And this is my eyesight.

I need new glasses. I really do. I do.

I do. I do. So.

I think apparently according to my dad. He. My stepmom.

My first stepmom. Wanted a dog. Now.

I know that my dad didn't want a dog. Because he doesn't like animals. Doesn't like pets.

At all. So. He would not have got a dog.

In fact. I'm surprised he even got a cat. In the past.

He won't allow animals in his house. At all. He just doesn't like them.

Doesn't like animals. So. I. So.

I have to assume. You know what he said is. You know.

He. He got it for her. He got her a dog.

She wanted one. It wasn't a normal dog. It wasn't like any normal dog.

Just get a dog. A Jack Russell like me. Although he's far from normal.

And I think anyone that's got a dog. Would say the same. They're not normal are they.

They've all got their own thing. Going on. So what did they do.

They got. A St Bernard. The biggest dog.

That they could get. Huge. Huge dog.

And when it was a puppy. And it was from a puppy as well. So it was tiny.

It really was tiny. And. I couldn't believe.

That it was going to grow up. To be. Big.

Because I was. Probably what 14 at the time. And I struggled with the concept.

Of how can something that small. Really. Get very big.

Like. I just couldn't really grasp. My head around it.

Really. And. So much fun.

Misty her name was. A female. And she was so much fun as a puppy.

As all puppies are just. Phenomenal. So.

So full of energy. And it's a shame because. She was too big.

You need a. Big. Space. For St Bernard.

Like. It'd be. Ridiculous.

For me to have a St Bernard. In this place. I mean.

It'd take up. The dog would take up half the room. It's ridiculous having a big dog.

In a small space. Just person. It's my personal opinion.

I just wouldn't do it. And although. We weren't living in the small space.

Because it was quite a big house. It wasn't big enough for her. Because.

All the space was filled up. With tables and. You know.

There wasn't. Much space. Where you could just walk through.

Does that make sense? Because. You know. Because there was quite a few of us living there.

So to start with. It was great. This little dog running around.

But you could literally just sit. And watch her grow. In front of you.

She would grow in real time. It was amazing. I mean I'm lying.

But she. I mean technically. She was growing.

I mean. They don't just have a little spurt. So they must be growing.

The whole time. Very slowly. But.

Quickly at the same time. She outgrew the house. She couldn't even come into the house.

She was too big. Because she'd come in. And she'd knock everything over.

My dad. Built a kennel for her. And she's pretty much an outside dog.

And. I mean they've got the warmth. They've got all that fur.

And whatever to. To be okay. But she.

I don't want to use the word. She wasn't. She didn't get the life that she deserved.

Because. At that time. The family was kind of breaking up.

And. One brother had gone. I think the other brother had gone.

It was just me and my little brother. After. You know.

And then. Then my dad was working all the time. And then my step mom started working all the time.

So. It just got to the point where. There was.

Less and less. People around. And.

I'd be there. I'd go straight from school. Look after my little brother.

Until my step mom got back. Then I'd go into karate or. You know just.

Chill out. But the dog. Misty was there.

And she was. It wasn't safe for us to go into the back gate. Because she'd literally jump on us.

And I found it scary. Because she was so big. She was.

Way way bigger than me. Probably weighed about. Sixteen stone.

I weighed about. Seven stone. Couldn't take her for a walk.

I literally. It wasn't that she was. Trying to.

She would. It's the old thing isn't it. Oh your dog's taking you for a walk.

She was. I was. She was dragging me behind her.

Because she didn't even notice. I don't think she even knew I was there. She was walking at her pace.

Which was a lot faster than my pace. And. I think.

And it's quite weird. Here's the weird thing. This is funny.

But I remember her. Getting scared. Of a chihuahua.

Because she had no idea. How big she was. It's a beautiful dog.

All dogs are beautiful. Aren't they really. So.

It was a beautiful dog. But she didn't know how. How big she was.

Compared to. Well there's no other dogs as big as her. In the town probably.

Maybe there was another. St Bernard's somewhere. And.

She just. The thing. The hardest thing for me.

Was the slobber. She used to slobber everywhere. And that's normal for St Bernard's.

And. So I'd be going to school. And she'd jump on me.

And slobber all over me. So I'm trying to wipe it off. I walk into my classroom.

I think I've got it all off me. My jumper. Yeah but I missed it.

And it's right just on my. On my trousers. Around my groin.

On my leg. All this like white. Bit slobber stuff.

And I'm trying to explain to everyone. That it's the dog. And no one's.

No one's believing me. It was the dog. It's a dog slobber.

No. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, sure. I was a teacher. And.

It was embarrassing. And I was just constantly walking around. With white stain.

Trousers. I said it's a dog. And they said, how long have you had the dog for? I said.

Well a year now. So how come. You've been walking into school.

With those white stains on your trousers. For the last four years. no comment your honor so I just yeah it was difficult so I used to go into the front door in the end had to be rehoused or refamilied or whatever rehomed because there was yeah they didn't have anyone to look after anymore because the family went different ways as it were and I don't know where she went to but she found a nice family somewhere I think she she might have gone and lived on a farm where she had a bit more space because we was

kind of in the countryside I mean everywhere in the UK is near the countryside really so so that was Misty just trying to think the next animal hmm it's quite weird because Misty should go into one room she'd come out again as like oh it's a different dog no she's just grown it's ridiculous he I've got a few stories but I just she's a lovely dog just the voice woof woof I just I was too scared to go into the gate the back gate so literally she would pin me down

to the floor and I couldn't get up and she would just slob all over me and lick my face she loved me obviously she loved all of us but I just couldn't I couldn't get you know I couldn't get her off she was so heavy I think they used to feed a tripe that cost an absolute fortune I think as well so I the next the next thing trying to think the next time I had any kind of cat or dog experience hmm so I'm going through 1986 nothing there I

think my boss got a Doberman not Doberman a Rottweiler but didn't see it very often because it was at his house so didn't yeah I'm pretty sure we got a Rottweiler and that was a little bit I don't know it's just a little bit on edge with that one because I think I've seen me too many movies you know but that was a big strong dog cats 86 nothing 87 87 nope no cats or dogs in 87 that I remember 88 88 no not not 88 nothing I don't think 88

I added the sound effects of a dog here I think just to make it you know keep the authenticity up yeah 89 I met someone that had these two kittens and I held one in the minute we we did my hands all over me actually and they found it hilarious not the cats but the owners and I didn't enjoy it so much but what I did find funny is these kittens were running they were defying gravity they were running around the room literally around the wall the curtains and they were

clinging on to the wallpaper as they were running so fast around a bit like those motorbikes you know the motorbikes in that like that circle thing and they just go around around around around around so that almost gravity stops or whatever I was like wow never seen that in my life before so there's them two cats and I lived there for a while after that so I lived there with those cats and so that's 89 no don't know if any other cats or dogs during that period 1990 no cats or

dogs either I mean most of the places that I lived which is rooms in a house that I would rent and we weren't allowed to have pets goldfish is okay but other than that we weren't couldn't have dogs or cats or anything although I did rent some rooms that had cats in the house like the where the landlord landlady would live in the house as well which is never it's never ideal so 1990 nothing 1991 yeah 1991 when I moved to Stratford or living Stratford my landlady who lived there as

well just me and her there was a spare room that eventually got filled in with someone the there was multiple cats there multiple cats I don't know how many but there was a lot and and we lived behind a graveyard like a really old derelict graveyard that wasn't even being used that was all shut off from the public and then it was like a newer graveyard that still had graves hundreds of years old so I got no idea how old the graves were that were behind us so there's quite quite

quiet neighbors and the cats would go over there to climb because in the in the basically the house wasn't very big it wasn't like tiny but it wasn't very big and the garden didn't really have a garden it's like you go out the back and it was just like a patio and big walls because literally the it was the grave side was the other side these big walls either side and that was it just a little bit of probably room to put put some washing out or something and I remember

one of the cats went missing and I went into the graveyard to look for the cat and it it being in one of the holes I don't know it was a very derelict area probably wasn't safe to be walking around in it but it kind of I don't know if it got trapped but it came out eventually and yeah there's a few she used to get I remember sometimes I'd go to the supermarket for her because she was disabled so I'd like I'd help her out she'd pay for the taxi

so like get a taxi there get a taxi back and get she give me a list of stuff to get and she'd give me money so I'd do it for her and I remember once there's only two items on the list and it was like it was a bit was quite a lot of stuff so it was a full trolley full so it was cat food and toilet paper and it's just as I was waiting there we you know to pay and it was going along the the moving surface thing

that I have at the cashier and I realized what a weird combination of items to just be buying on their own cat food and toilet paper it's almost like am I eating the cat food is that why I need so much toilet paper and I felt a little bit embarrassed for a little bit embarrassed and didn't really need to be it's like I don't know just the idea of people thinking that I eat cat food and in a way I was 20 years old I didn't really want people to think

that I use toilet paper in a weird way it's like I don't want people thinking I don't people looking at me and just imagine me on the toilet but they probably weren't were they focused on their own things that's in the days when I used to believe that people were actually taking notice of what I was doing but there was probably wrong so yes I lived there for four years and I escaped there and I lived with my friend who had a dog a black dog and he was a daddy's

boy though well she was a daddy boy she loved her daddy but was friendly but didn't wasn't really bothered about me loved her daddy really you know and so I lived there for a little while and then I moved into another house with someone I used to look that I was working with and he was my new landlord and he had a dog another black dog that was pretty vicious to start with until I realized it was a softy it was all show I mean he could be vicious you know

but he wasn't really do you know I mean he's fun like once you got to know him he dropped the facade dropped so I lived with him for a while for a couple of years and he was not friendly towards other dogs but when my friend would go away he acted differently so I'd have a week I'd look after the dog for a week or you know for a weekend or whatever and I take the dog out and literally he didn't go for it didn't he didn't drown other dogs it's

like he didn't care it's weird maybe he just didn't feel the need to defend me he was just being defensive you know through his dad maybe I don't know that dog hasn't shut up it's not the dog over the fence that's like things way over the other side I think I think and then oh it might be maybe it is a one I don't know I lose track there's so many dogs shout shout at each other sometimes and then when I moved out of there no dogs no dogs no dogs

I moved into a place that had a dog in 96 moved into a place a different dog and this was she was lovely she was a puppy as well like just just beyond being a puppy when I moved in there so it's actually gorgeous I should tell you for walks and stuff and it's very therapeutic got me out of house because I wasn't in the yeah I've kind of gone from being homeless to being kind of rescued really so it's quite nice and I was waiting for benefits to come through

because I had no money and it couldn't do anything for a while and then I've got a job in security and so I had some money coming in after that but I like that dog got one that dog but that house also had cats as well so there was probably two cats when I moved in and one of the cats had puppies and suddenly there was like loads of little dogs cats whatever running around so that was weird honestly there was and I think she kept about three of them so

suddenly I had about five cats and I really kind of got to know cats a bit more then because before when I lived in the house in 91 with the cats I kind of wasn't really interested in the cats I stayed upstairs but I made friends with one of the cats it's the first time I've ever the only time really I've ever had a relationship with a cat and I realize that sounds a bit strange but it was this ginger cat and I like gingers anyway but and it it used

to come into my bedroom and walk up and down my back and just be purring and it was so relaxing so relaxing and I think this was yeah because I moved back there that's that's when that happened so they had a cat and a dog when I first moved in then I moved out and I moved in with my friend who had a dog black dog so I lived with him for a while then I moved back to the other place that had a black dog the one where the puppy

was but she's grown up by now and there was the ginger cat that took to me and I really needed a bit of TLC you know because of what had been going on and that cat was just really took to me so that was nice the first time I had any kind of connection with a cat before although I've not really ever had a connection with a dog either I like dogs I think I've always been okay with them and I've lived with a few but I never had that kind

of close connection because they were never my dogs you know they'd be there as soon as he only came in they take they move away from me like I didn't exist so it's like okay it's not so I've never really felt that connection but this cat really seemed to like me took took to me and the weird thing that I noticed about cats is we're in that house how the weird places they sleep on the stairs for example it's the it's the dumbest place to sleep but it's also the dumbest

place to leave things and it was constantly stuff on the stairs left on the stairs whether it's books whether it's shoes handbags clothes and you might argue it's not a dumb place to leave stuff it is and there's no we can't argue against it it's a trip and hazard anything that can trip you up on the stairs is it's not ideal it's not the brightest thing to do and I've had it here sometimes where people are less stuff at the bottom of the stairs or they put stuff in the middle

of the stairs like I was like no I'll move I'll make sure those stairs are cleared I've been down there once before I don't want to go down them again and I did trip down the stairs a few times I can't believe the cats would actually sleep on the stairs maybe they're comfortable they must be must name maybe but it's not comfortable when someone stands on you though is it so I imagine it didn't seem to like it they see I do my best to sort of keep her lie out

but when the lights off or the lights really low and it's like why are you staying why are you sleeping on the stairs and why would they go to the toilet in the bath that's something I could never get my head around I mean they had plenty of places to go why in the bath I've got a couple of stories about the cats but they weren't they're not nice stories so I won't tell them but it's they are so cute when they're little wouldn't they there's no such thing as a

every kitten is just perfect it's like every every puppy every baby there's something kind of perfect about them I mean human babies no maybe not so much but dogs and cats and animal animals are just so cute when they're firstborn and they when they're little and humans little bit like aliens aren't they when they're firstborn but that's okay I never say that I've never said that someone actually just had a baby oh isn't she the most beautiful thing you have seen like no genuinely no I don't mean to be rude

but no no mind you the smell of a baby's head still just had an interruption then he was barking I was telling him off but there was someone at the door but they weren't at my door but they were at the door knocking on someone else's door opposite and it was his friend from downstairs he was like so excited I was moaning at him I feel bad now so the next dog you know what I don't think there's any other dogs after that so when I moved out of there there's

no dogs or cats moved moved moved moved no dogs no cats anywhere I lived until here and my friend downstairs had Logie who was dog unfriendly towards other dogs absolutely the most calmest loveliest dog you'll ever meet indoors all he wanted is to be loved it was just born to be cuddled so so friendly and yeah you couldn't really ask for a nicer dog like temperate temper temperature wise you know temperament but when he was out and other dogs not not not not good so and he was a big dog

so too big for a flat like this I just said that to my friend downstairs he's too big he can't have and he only got another dog another dog which was the same kind of breed but smaller but growing it was like and I was just before he left so had to rehome that one first then I had Logie for about three months before I could rehome him because I didn't trust him with Vinnie even though they got on I couldn't leave him alone because Vinnie's he's he can really push

your buttons and I don't think Logie had the patience and because of the size difference it would have been yeah I'd never leave them on their own together so other than Logie I've got Vinnie in two and a half years ago and I think what was it two and a half years ago yeah two and a half years three and a half years three nearly three and a half years ago and I've talked endlessly about Vinnie so that's kind of it really he's it's weird having him in my life but

I have or have and he's still here I don't know where he is now I think he's at the door listening to the conversations going on outside because he absolutely adores the lady from downstairs I bet he's at the front door honestly I'll look at the camera they're still out there so but he's not barking which is weird so that's it that's I kind of covered all the dogs and cats that I've experienced in my life that I can think of can't think of any other cats or dogs that I've

really had any contact with apart from the cat that beat up Vinnie my neighbor's cat when she was pregnant and Vinnie kind of got a little bit too close and since then he's been very very cautious of cats and we do have a cat in this road that rules it literally is boss cat it rules the road no nothing we can do about it it's the cat sits or lays down on the pavement if caught walk around it and it will just sit in the road and the cars have to

wait for it to move seriously I've never seen cats with an attitude like that before he runs the road all the other cats kind of have to abide by its rules and that I do believe is the end of this recording and I'm gonna have something to eat while I watch Minder I do believe so thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy and be gentle with yourself you deserve to feel safe lots of love bye