(Overnight | Voice Only) Dentist & Optician | #1602 Let me bore you to sleep | Jason Newland | 28th April 2026

Hello and welcome to let me bore you to sleep. This is the dentist slash optician episode. Oh yes.

Hope you're well. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. So I need, before I continue, give me two seconds.

No, yes, no, yes. Give me two seconds. I have to do something.

So I'd like to say, yeah, before I go on, first of all, if you've got any questions for Q&A Friday, this Friday, the 1st of May, please go to my Jason Newlands Boring Group, or you can email me or find another way to ask me a question, maybe on YouTube even. And also I'd like to say a big thank you to Mary Lucas and Mary for your kind PayPal gifts. Thank you.

And I have decided to get rid of the store, at least temporarily, because I'm not getting any visitors really. And I don't think anyone wants to really, I've got a few downloads, but hardly any visitors. So I'll just continue with my normal Jason Newlands.com. And other than that, everything else is pretty much the same.

I have a YouTube channel, which you can actually, I probably, I probably listen to my recordings on my YouTube channel more than anyone else does. It's just handy. It's on the TV.

I can just listen to the hypnosis stuff or the let me boy to sleep stuff. All six recordings are uploaded as they are to my website automatically. Three without music, three with music.

Anything else? I've got a Facebook page or Facebook group called Jason Newlands Boring Group. And that's it. I think that's everything.

Oh, I do also every day. I upload my video to well, I download it from YouTube, then I upload it. Which is my latest recording to X, Instagram and TikTok.

It's the first 59 minutes. So if it's a hypnosis recording, you might get the whole thing. If it's a let me boy to sleep, it's unlikely you're going to get the whole recording.

But it might be enough to send you buh-byes. Out of complete boredom. But I must admit, this is going to be probably the most exciting recording you've never heard about.

So let's get on with it. Shall we got so much to fit in? Maybe not. So let me have a think.

So today is Tuesday, the 28th of April 2026. And I'm going to get rid of this MSN page because it's just bringing up loads of crap. That's just stories, stories, stories, stories, get rid of it.

It's almost like a gossip page about celebrities that have very little interest in. Okay, I have a little bit of interest in I sometimes get interested. Sometimes, it's like, oh, meet the richest, the richest sons and daughters of Madonna.

The 500 kids she's got with them. I'm just like, okay, I'll get drawn into it. I'm thinking more, unless they've inherited money, how they've got how they got money, how they rich, and then realize that one's a fashion designer, one's a musician, one's a, you know, photographer, whatever.

So yeah. And I made it all on their own. So it's good.

What was I going to talk about? Okay, so that. Yeah, I'm trying to think. Vinny's chewing on one of these two things.

There might be a dog in the background. I can't do anything about it, which is good, which is good, which is good, good, good. But I can't.

I did manage to do a sleep recording today. Earlier on, because I was waiting for his latest update. Anyway.

Last Friday, I had the asbestos people come around to check my flat for asbestos. Because there is going to be some building work done. And I'm due to have new radiators and a new kitchen.

That was kind of why they were coming around. So they came around Friday. The asbestos man did.

Make a bit more noise, please, Vinny. Thank you. And that all went okay.

I mean, I was a little bit nervous having someone come in and all that stuff. Just because, see, I'm not house proud. But it's part of the reason it's not just laziness.

But it hurts to bend over. And picking stuff up and that. And things seem to end up on the floor.

I'm not a hoarder or anything. It's not like that. But just.

So I've been tidying up over the last week. Since Friday, trying to get the place or Thursday, trying to get a place a bit tidier. Just overdo a bit of a spring clean, as it were.

And then today, the radiator man came. Just to check really to see what was due. So he was due to come between 8 and 12.

That was the time that he was booked in. That was the slot. And I'm waiting here.

And I'm waiting here. And I'm waiting and I'm waiting and I'm waiting. So I end up thinking to myself.

Because I've got the door open in the living room so I can hear the front door. So I can hear when he gets here. But unfortunately Vinnie was barking and had about six false alarms.

You know, packages being delivered, perhaps people coming and going out of their flats. And he was just barking every time, which is why I have him in the living room most of the time. So in the end, I put him into the bedroom thinking, well, I've only got about an hour left before the bloke turns up anyway, because this is probably about 11.

I put Vinnie in the bedroom. And it is quiet as anything, doesn't make a sound. So I think, I could make a hypnosis recording now.

So I did. And there was a little bit of barking. A little bit.

But generally, I managed to avoid it really. Which was nice. But I did edit it.

Did I edit it? I think I did. I think. Yeah.

So I made the quite a nice hypnosis recording. I actually listened to it myself this afternoon. And I fell straight asleep.

Like, bang, gone. So it worked, worked on me. It worked on me.

It worked for me. We both came to a mutual decision to drift off. So that was nice.

I mean, I did one yesterday as well, I do believe. Did I do one yesterday? Oh, I did. I did.

I did. 27th of April. The quiet descent into sleep.

Today was the gentle collapse of understanding. Very, very artistic, don't you? Don't you know? Hmm. So I've done that.

There wasn't enough time to do a let me boy to sleep this morning. Because I knew I kind of felt as soon as I started the recording, I get a knock on the door. But luckily I didn't.

But it wasn't a long recording. It's about a half hour. I think.

Let's have a look. No 23 minutes 32 seconds. Probably about 35 minutes long when I did it and then edited it down to 23 minutes.

So the man turned up, he did what he needed to do, measured up and everything. And he said, Yep, you're going to need all your radiators changed. And I got talking to him.

And really friendly bloke. We had a bit of a chat, a bit of a natter. And Vinny was following him all around until he said, Oh, can I sit down on the sofa to do the order on his computer? And Vinny started jumping all over him.

And Vinny at one point, Vinny licked his screen on his tablet or whatever it was. So I put Vinny into the bedroom. And he said, Don't worry.

I said, No, he will not leave you alone the whole time of sitting down, which is true. So I put him into the bedroom, had a chat with a bloke. And basically, all they're waiting for now is the results of the asbestos survey.

That's just to let them know what they need to do. They're still going to put in the radiators. It's just a certain, I suppose a certain criteria or cautionary things they have to put into practice, depending on the level of asbestos.

So I've definitely got radiators, new radiators coming. And he said that as soon as they've got the report, they'll be phoning me up to book a date in. And it'll only take about half a day.

But you know, it's for the eight, becoming eight o'clock in the morning, and they should be done by about midnight, midnight, midday. For some reason, I thought radiators would take forever. But I realise it's the radiators that they replace.

It's not all. I don't think they replace all the tubing, all the pipes. I thought the pipes would be part of the things that they would need to change.

I might be wrong. And he said, apparently, when these buildings were built, I say buildings, because it's like, this is connected to another building. It's a separate building, but it's connected, you know, in a sense, but there's like different stairways and different entrances and everything, communal entrance.

And this was about late 70s, maybe early 80s, about late 70s. And there was no central heating in there. I'm not sure quite what they had.

And the heating was put in probably about 25 years ago. And maybe 30 years ago, but it's now, it's now defunct, it's time to change it. And he said, my kitchen's probably been there, probably about 16 years.

Now, I've lived here for 11 years now. And that kitchen looked worn out when I moved in. But, you know, it's, that's the next thing.

So as soon as the kitchen department of the same company that are doing the radios, as soon as they get the asbestos report, they're going to be phoning me to come and have a look at the kitchen and organize for time to come in and change the kitchen. That's a bigger job. That's like a week, a week or so, maybe a little bit longer to get the kitchen done.

So was it April? So by the end of the summer, so I'm not in a rush anyway, but I reckon by the end of the summer, I'll have new radios and a new kitchen. Now, if only I could find a way to get a new bathroom, I would literally have a new flat. Well, no, that that will spur me on to decorate the living room and the bedroom.

And the hallway, the hallway is very dark anyway. So maybe I get some ultraviolet paint or something. Yeah, really green sickly stuff.

But I'm also it's also going to cost me money because firstly, I'm getting to the point where I'm going to need to get a new washing machine. And secondly, I'm going to need to get a fridge freezer like a tall one to put into the kitchen when it's put in to the moment. I've got a freezer underneath the kitchen top and a fridge on top.

And they're not really good. It's not going to do any good because I don't I need to have a proper fridge freezer. It's just the council did say after a year of living here, I could ask for permission to cut part of the top off.

But I just never got around to it, to be honest. And I've also got a a small freezer, a booby free chest freezer. And the one with the lid, you know, you put the lids at the top, not rather than at the front or the bottom.

One thinking of doing is when the electricians come into the kitchen, ask if they'd be willing to stick a plug into the storage room. If I chuck them a few quid to do that, because then I could put this the freezer into the storage room and maybe even get a condenser or tumble dryer and put that in the storage room as well. I don't know because it condenses.

They don't cause damp because they've got the water goes into the to the drums is so they yeah. I've got to make sure I don't do anything that causes damp because some of the other flats have mold and damp. I don't.

I'm very fortunate for that one. And I don't intend to be getting it because that's one of the only reasons I've got this flat is because my other place was so moldy. So I managed to get put up to the top of the list.

What near the top of the list as well as you know, other things going on. So I guess it's quite good news, really, isn't it? A new kitchen. New radiators.

And I do need a new carpet. My carpet is absolutely derelict. All right, I just needed to close the window.

And the window wasn't open wide, but just on the latch, you know, and pull the curtains closed to try and drown out the dog. Oh, what was I saying? I've lost my track of four and that never happens. Never, ever.

I was talking about Madonna's children. No. Oh, kitchen, kitchen stuff I need to get on my carpet.

If you saw my carpet in an outside shed in the garden when she'd been in that shed, when you got outside, you would wipe your feet. Honestly, my carpets that rubbish. It's just it's it was rubbish to start with.

It was really thin and cheap. But at the same time, it was still expensive, still cost like £600 at the time for the flat. So it wasn't wasn't cheap.

Now we've got a moped coming up. We've got everything happening. Just nothing but noise.

Nothing but noise. And yesterday was weird, right? Okay, let's start off. It was almost a competition between me and my neighbor about who had the strangest day, because when I got back, I went and had a cup of tea with her.

I was telling her about my day. And she because she looked after Vinny while I was out. She was telling me about her day.

So basically, she just had a hectic day with her. And they'd basically reduced our money by about £170 a month, which is just, you know, it's just like, it doesn't know what she's going to do. But I was still thinking, yeah, okay, long term, that's, that's worse.

But my days would have been worse. And then she calls me up a couple of hours later after I left to say that her son had just been in a car accident or motorbike accident. I was in hospital.

She's phoning from the hospital was like, okay. And I started thinking, well, her day's been worse. Then I thought, no, her son's days been worse.

I mean, he's broken, I think three bones. And he's out of hospital now. They don't keep people in hospital today unless they have to.

But yeah, bad. The thing is, she was saying that he's, you know, he's obviously he's not a happy bunny, which he wouldn't be. But ultimately, this is something he's going to be bragging about in a few weeks time, or a few months time.

This is a story that he's going to enjoy telling people. Because he's 17. This is, you know, this big crash he had and all of the drama that came with it.

So I tried to remind her of that. So true, because it is, it's what it's what you do. And it's like, I'd still be talking about it now.

But he's okay. He's, you know, he's just in pain, which he would be. The weird thing about it is, it just got the wheel fixed, so he could start a new job on Monday, which was yesterday.

So not only is I'm pretty sure the wheel not fixed anymore. So his motorbike is going to be out of action. Also, he won't be able to go back to work for a minimum of probably two months.

If that, because jobs, working on the roof, roofing. So you need to, you need to be a full level of strength and everything, don't you, to be doing a job like that. So, yeah, man.

I was going to, I offered to go and visit, but I couldn't get up there to the hospital. But I had an early night and I've seen his mum today. And he's, she's just looking after him.

And you know, it's, it's, yeah, it's ironically, apparently his, his ex-girlfriend's mum was driving past while he was laying in the road. And she got out to see if he was okay. Well, she went and got her daughter.

And it looks like love might be reuniting again, ignited again between the two of them. So, hey, I don't know. I can't, I partially made that bit up.

The love bit, but it does seem like something that would do it, you know, if you still got feelings for someone and you see them, you know, see them after having a crash. And also on the other side, you see someone that you still got feelings for. And your life's just gone through, you know, you literally, potentially escaped a serious situation.

So yeah. Wedding bells. You know when I don't want one that I want for.

Ooh, ooh, ooh. So yeah, my day started about 2.30 in the morning. Now, my whole, my, I'm now going to bed earlier and waking up earlier.

But it kind of suits me in a way. And I'll tell you why. Oh, well, it suits me because I like early mornings.

I like being awake during the night. But this is different from being up all night and then go to bed during the day. This is, I'm going to bed at, I don't know, eight in the evening.

Nine, eight or nine. And after being up, and I also have a couple of naps, listen to this hypnosis recording, and I fall asleep for a couple of hours. And that suits me.

That's kind of my kind of like level of sleep is what I do. Not because I can't sleep. I find it very easy to sleep.

I'm lucky that like that, I guess. I can sleep during the daytime. I can sleep if there's people, if there's lawns being mowed.

Doesn't affect me. The only thing that stops me from sleeping is him barking. Even other dogs barking in the background.

It's not so bad. But him, he's so high pitch and it's right in my earlobe. So yeah, generally, he doesn't do it too often, but occasionally he does wake me up.

But he's a good boy. Although he hasn't eaten his dinner again. No.

So I woke up yesterday. I woke up in the morning. Another good thing about waking up early is I can get a chance to watch the boxing in America at the weekend.

Because I don't know why. Sometimes the app, especially on DAZN, the app is a little bit messy. Go on there and it will say I want to start from the beginning.

And sometimes it will kick right into the end where it's already playing. And I'll kind of be it'll be halfway through the last fight, which is going to ruin it for me, especially if it's like, if I'm coming on there, just as someone's being knocked out or something. So I like to watch it from the beginning and then just fast forward it to the point where eventually I'm caught up.

So I watch a fight, fast forward it to the next fight, and so on. Instead of that big lag of waiting around for the next one to start with all the chitter chatter and adverts and all that stuff. And on ring walks, I can't be bothered with ring walks anymore.

Just like, just get in. I want to just to, I prefer it, you know. Have you ever seen pantomime or like, you know, on a stage where the actor just pops up off the stage, onto the stage, like from a lift or something or a spring.

That's what I want with the boxers. Just for them just to pop up in the ring or climb up on a ladder. I don't care, but just lesser the fanfare, just, just get in there and get on with it.

I'd ruin it, wouldn't it? Probably. I tell you who the best boxing, the best boxing promoters or putter owners, I don't know what you want to call them, that they put on a good show. The best show I think would be the Misfits.

Not, not, it's because it's not the best show. I mean, it's not the best boxing. It's not the best boxers necessarily.

It's just so much more fun. You've got all these YouTube influences or personalities and people off, I guess, TikTok or all these, you know, and they're just having fun. They're not taking themselves seriously and talking about it like it's, you know, it's fun.

I like that about it. I like, I like my boxing to be fun, basically. And I know it's a serious business and everything, but just, I just, sometimes the ring walks go on forever and ever and ever, and there's someone rapping and you can't hear what the rapper's saying anyway, because the crowd's screaming with excitement.

All like, you know what I mean? The shout, jumping up and down, lactating everywhere. It's like, it's, I guess it's an exciting environment. Although I had a friend who was at, I think it was Tyson Fury against Dillian White, and he was at Wembley and he was right at the back and he showed a picture.

He took a picture and sent it to me. And honestly, he said it's worth it for the atmosphere, which I'll, I'll take his word for it. And I believe him.

So I've been told that the atmosphere in those places is just amazing. I've never experienced it. The ring was so far away.

Even the huge screens that was showing the fight was so far away. It was like trying to watch it would have been like trying to watch it on someone else's mobile phone from, I don't know, like 30 foot away. It was just, yeah.

Yeah, it wouldn't, wouldn't suit me. I'd probably have to have it on the zone watching it live on my, on my phone while I was watching it. And that defeats the object, I do believe.

That is one of the things if I, so if I was wealthy, one of the things I would do for myself is go to the boxing, the big fights and get maybe not ringside tickets, but at least like near the ring. Ideally, hopefully not behind someone wearing a big cowboy hat, because that's just wrong. That's wrong with cowboy hats.

Cowboy hats are good. They might be good. But if you're going to be wearing a big massive hat and there's people behind you, it's not good for them, is it? I mean, they had the Sheik from Dubai, Abidabi Sheik, I forget his name, but he's, he's put on a lot of massive boxing shows over the last few years.

And he was sitting there next to one of the Rolling Stones watching the fight in the front row. I think it's Ronnie Wood. And during the main fight, at a crucial point, this bloke walked up to the Sheik and bent over, but he was like pretty much stuck his bum in Ronnie Wood's face.

He didn't complain, but, and he stood there for about two or three minutes and Ronnie was trying to like look around. I think it was like, oh, what do I want to do? Do I want to sniff this or do I want to watch the boxing? It was conflicted, but he literally, he couldn't, he was trying to see around and I don't know. It's just like, that would annoy me.

If someone's in the way and as a not such a tall person that I am, or not, if you whichever way you want to look at it, I think there should be a hierarchy when it comes to seating arrangements. See, if the seating's at the same level, then shortest people should get priority to sit at the front and tall people should have to sit at the back. If it's like a lot of cinemas and theatres, they do go up, don't they? But everyone should be measured for an individual seat and you should find out no, no headgear, no hats, no hoodies, none of that stuff that's going to kind of be sticking up.

No big hairstyles. I saw someone with really big hair like, what are you doing? I mean, if I was behind them, I'd have to just part their hair and pull their hair to the side so I can watch the boxing and that might not go down very well. Possibly.

Can you imagine spending a lot of money to go and see your favourite, it doesn't matter what it is, if it's your favourite singer, your favourite theatre, play, whatever it is, you look forward to going to see this for ages maybe and it's something you really, really look forward to for years. Maybe you've been on a waiting list to see an opera star or to see like an award-winning play and there's been, you know, a waiting list of like three years because you're happy to wait that long. Cheers Vinny, flap your ears a bit more please.

Thank you very much. And then you sit down and in front of you is this massive person or worse, two massive people sitting on top of each other, two massive people with hats and you can't, you can hear everything but you can't see nothing and you have to wait and hope they keep like parting away so you can look in between them or if they lift their hands you can look under their armpit and look through that way. No, that's why I think having a box is good because the idea of people being on the balcony as cheap seats, they're the best seats, not if you're in a stadium and you're watching football, yeah, but not if you're watching someone and you can't even see their face.

But I've been, I've sat in a box a few times over the years watching in a theatre, it's the best best place because there's no one in front of you, well there's everyone's in front of you but they're down, they're down low aren't they? And if you're lucky there's no one behind you either, depending kind of where the seats are. So I went to a, what do you call it, you know just for Christmas, cabaret, not cabaret, pantomime, I went to a pantomime with a girlfriend that I had once, I did, I once had a girlfriend, she let me kiss her on the cheek, she did, she did, she did, it was 2005 and she had a kid so we went to pantomime and I loved it, absolutely loved it.

He's behind you, she's behind you, I was told to shut up, it's like you only say that when there's someone behind them, okay fair enough, didn't know there was rules and please put some trousers on and so I got up yesterday and I knew I had to get ready, I knew I was like what am I going to do, I looked for the bus timetable, couldn't find any buses that were going to go that way to be there on time, the appointment for the dentist was 20 minutes past 10 in the morning and the night before what I did, knowing that the closer I was getting to the appointment, the more unlikely I was going to actually turn up because I, I just didn't want to go, simple as that really and eventually, if you're hungry, go and eat your dinner Penny, if you're hungry, eat your dim dins, it's not that complicated really, you just go yum yum yum yum yum yum and you chew it and you swallow it, it's easy, you've eaten before, you've eaten before, yes you have, you don't have any problems with treats do you, no and yeah so what I did Sunday night about eight o'clock, I phoned up the taxi firm and said, they answered, I said hi is that the taxi firm and they said yeah, I said can I please order a taxi please and they said okay, where to, I said well it's tomorrow, they said where to, I said well it's going to be to the dentist and they said when is it, I said tomorrow and what time, I said well half nine please, because I thought 50 minutes is plenty of time, it's a 10 minute journey, well maybe 15 minute journey really, 20 minutes, I don't know, it's not a long journey and I said okay half nine please, now I didn't think that I'd be able to get a taxi any earlier than that because that's when the school kids are traveling and a lot, well most of the taxis seem to be full or booked for like the school pickup time, so I wasn't even sure I'd be able to get one at 9 30 but I did and he said going where, I said I told you it's to the dentist, he said there's more than one dentist in town, I said I didn't say I was going to a dentist in this town, he said are you going to a dentist in this town and I said why do you stutter, he said I've got a stutter, you got an issue with that, I said no, no, no, I'm sorry, he said are you going to a dentist in this town and I said yes, so why are you making it difficult, I said I'm not, I'm just trying to answer your question, so I tried to tell you I was going to a dentist and you cut me off saying when is it, he said well we do need to know when the journeys are, I said okay fair enough and he said which dentist and I told him what street it was in and he said okay and he traveled from where and I said well from my home, he said where's your home and I said have you not got it on your system, I said he said oh okay and he said is it number whatever, I said yeah because I've used them a lot over the time especially last summer blimey they all knew me by name and he said and then he said can I take your name, obviously he didn't know me by name but the text drives did and I said yes it's Jason Newland and he said oh Jason Newland and I said yes, he said are you sure it's not Newland, I said no it's Newland, he said okay, he says all booked, be there for you 9 30 in the morning, I said thank you, he said thank you, I said thank you, he said thank you and I said thank you and he hung up but then the closer I got to Monday morning the less interested I was in going but because I'd ordered a taxi almost felt that pushed me to get ready and I was going to take Vinny around to be looked after at 9am but I phoned her up at 8 30am and said is it okay if I bring him around now and she said why, I said she said yes but why, why have you changed the time and I said look if I don't get up now because I'm comfortable right now I'm sitting on the settee watching tv I don't want to get up and if I don't get up I probably won't get up but if I get up now at bring him to you then maybe have a cup of tea or whatever and then I will have half an hour to get ready and I'll be up and out and she said oh that's a good idea, I said I know she said why can't you just accept compliments without kind of having to comment and I said what about you, why can't you, she says I don't, I said neither do I and she said are you going to bring him around, I said yeah I am, she said do you realize I'm doing you a favor, I said well I don't know I'm doing you a favor I'm letting you spend time with Vinny and she said yeah but I've got other things to do it's not like I'm you know just here to babysit, I said well what else you got to do apparently that's not a good thing to say to someone like don't assume that I've got nothing else to do, I didn't listen to the rest of it but yeah I took him around and he was happy to be there and everything, she was happy because her son had gone to work because he had the new wheel on the bike and he'd gone to work which is she was happy about that and everything and obviously we know what happened later and I came back got ready the taxi was early now if a taxi gets there early 20 you know let's say it got there 20 past nine and I don't come out till half past nine when I booked it are they going to charge me waiting time I think that's quite a good question oh blimey it reminds me I got a taxi to collect something from my I think it's from my uh my meds my medication got a taxi there and and so I'm going to get a taxi back so I just stayed in the same taxi got out the taxi I didn't realize he drove off because they're not supposed to park and then he kind of drove back I got my prescription come out of the pharmacist crossed the road to get to a taxi open the door and realize it's the wrong car it's a taxi but it's not it's not my taxi and he looked at me and the thing is I'll be honest I hadn't looked at my taxi driver so I didn't even realize until a bloke said what are you doing I said what do you mean he said what are you what are you getting into my taxi for I said because I'm going home now he said no I'm not here for you and another lady came up and said are you my taxi and he said yeah and then I realized oh it's not my taxi I just apologized said oops my taxi driver was hidden around the corner down like a little alleyway I said why did you hide from me he said well I get paid extra for waiting time don't I so the longer it takes for you to find me the more I get paid we did have a little giggle but it's just like yeah but you know you also being honest and it's nice that you're honest but it's a bit out of order and he said you know what's out of order I said I don't know he said my mobile phone I said what he said yeah I didn't pay the didn't pay the bill it's like god I said is that true he said no but surely the light in the mood I want to make you laugh why is that he says it's been my ambition for quite a long time to make you laugh I said how long well since you got into the taxi really I just thought you could do with a good laugh fair enough but anyway see yesterday I get into the taxi oh I get dressed up I'm not wearing my normal rubbish clothes that I wear when I take him for a walk I've got I haven't got my jumper on I haven't got a coat on so I put on my big boots which are okay they're probably not trendy but they're they're they're okay I don't normally wear them and some tracksuit bottoms that are thin and make my legs well don't make my legs look fat because I've got quite slim legs believe it or not why would you believe or not believe you no one knows what I look like today I'll post a picture of like this old man this old balding man with a pink face that's not me I'm blonde I'm like six foot six um honestly it's always perfection if you look at me but that would put people off I think it's nice to because I did an AI you know image of myself so I put that on there and I made videos with that as well just because I think that makes people feel a bit more relaxed feeling that they're dealing with just a normal looking human as opposed to the spectacular what the heck am I talking about absolutely rubbish so all the single ladies all the single ladies all the single ladies all the single ladies all the single ladies all the single ladies you know what to do all the single ladies all the single ladies I don't know the words to that song Beyonce it was all the single ladies wasn't it is that the one where she dances I think it is wow that's about 2003 2002 long time so I also wear this top like a t-shirt top it's not it's a t-shirt but it's not if you don't mean it's it's not like thin but I wore that and my tracksuit bottoms now I don't know how big my bum is because I can't see it but I've yeah and then a carrier bag as well because I have my water and stuff in there and I don't know if that ruins the effect of looking groovy by carrying a carrier bag a supermarket carrier bag Iceland one I think so I get in the taxi we go there there's not a lot of conversation I'm a bit tired he's a bit tired we've both fallen asleep you know it's a strange journey and we get to where we're going Vinny's just staring at me again I wish you'd stop mate it's annoying he's looking at me with his big brown eyes like oh what is it you want then what do you want my monkey head my monkey head my monkey head what do you want what do you want so then I because I was there early so I had to kind of wander around and then when it was time to go into the dentist's I walked in I swear this place looked closed there was no shop front there was no no one there to greet me I walk up these steep stairs there was another entrance with a lift but I didn't need the lift so I just walked upstairs and there's two doors one that was just they were basically both blackened out and one had a keypad on you know that you put push the number in to open so I figured it's locked so I'm knocking on the doors knocking on both doors no answer in the end I tried both doors one door's locked and the other is open like it opens there's all these people sitting there including the receptionist no one answered the door I was knocking on it no one came over to see you know there's literally no way of knowing that place or what it was and I said to them you know this place looks closed it looks like that door's locked because you couldn't even see through it and there was a bell which I pressed no one heard the bell well they did they just found it funny that I wasn't you know that I was out there really bad I wasn't pleased with this I thought this is I tried to let them know but they weren't interested the receptionist didn't seem to care and it's like as a going there for the first time I nearly left not knowing you know so I went up to the receptionist that's the first thing I said to her so just like this place you need to do something about this place it's like people are not going to come in thinking it's closed so she took my name and she said oh you're in the wrong place which I was and I'm not going to do a joke saying this is the butcher's or anything like that but this is a funeral home no it was it was the same place but they've got two different shops or two different dentistries within the same bit of town so I walk up the road to the next place this place is a shop it's got a shop front and you go through you sit down it looks a bit like a pharmacy really and then you go into the back and the dentists are in there much nicer you can see it's open just walk in there was three members of staff sitting down behind the counter or two but there's one standing there moaning about something and I went in there and sat down for a bit went and saw the dentist dentist was lovely I was pleased that at least I could see it was a proper dentist and I didn't have to walk up any stairs because I don't know it hurts my back a little bit but yeah anyway um I was pleasantly surprised with the dentist because when they because it's an NHS dentist and when they said oh we have room for NHS new NHS customers which is national health service rather than private which is very expensive when they said that they had a new dentist I was a little bit concerned that it was going to be I don't know why just not a very good dentist there's no real reason for that I just thought well if they've got spaces then people maybe don't want to go to that dentist but that's not I don't think that's the case because actually she was really lovely and this all the staff workers they all came around just to laugh at me really just sat around watching me and I did the I did yeah here's something that they put she put some glasses on me I don't think they did that with the last one a couple of weeks ago but she kind of looked at my teeth looked at all of them read all out you know they do like uh left four five six or whatever and just like read it out for someone the the assistant to sort of be writing down stuff or typing down I guess where my teeth are and how many's left and where where they are where they're situated and she said which tooth was it that you told you needed to have extracted and I said it's that one she said which one she said that one I said well she said I can't really see if you just point to your face so if you can kind of open your mouth a little bit and I said okay and she said oh that okay it's a wisdom tooth I said are you sure she said what do you mean I said well you obviously don't know me I ain't got much wisdom in me I don't think there's been a drop of wisdom in me my whole life she didn't laugh and she said okay well we need to do x-rays now I was surprised she did three different x-rays one where she had me like looking to the side then to the side again to the side and then another one on the right hand side left hand side first right hand side and then right at the back of my mouth that was not a good one and I had to use all my relaxing skills to get through that one and I basically got this little it's not really it's not a special technique it's not even original but what I do is I count down from 20 and I do it slowly but I focus on the numbers that I'm counting down on and the discomfort of this thing in my mouth it became less and less as I counted down and then the x-ray was done so um she said well yeah you do need to have that tooth out you also need two fillings on other teeth I said I'm glad you mentioned that otherwise I thought you'd you know you're going to do the fillings in the tooth you're taking out because that'd be a bit pointless she didn't laugh and uh I said okay so with my I was hopeful hopeful when I said this like please please be right I said you haven't got time to do it today have you she said no you're gonna have to come back uh in a week or so um and we can do it then and but this was after she originally said before the before the um x-ray that I might have to go to hospital and have it done because of it be where it is and uh being near a nerve this near a nerve but after the x-ray she said it wasn't close enough to a nerve to really be a problem and I said okay so that was good and I think that was it I did say um do I get a lollipop and she didn't even she she no she didn't laugh at that either because there was a time when children would go to the dentist and they would be given a lollipop as a treat for doing so well for being a big boy or a big girl which seems a bit weird to give a child something to eat or something to full of sugar when they've just been to a dentist but technically a little kid hasn't really got to worry too much about their teeth because they're all first milk teeth aren't they and they're going to come out anyway technically you know doesn't really I mean you know they don't encourage it but all the all the milk teeth have to come out for the normal teeth to come out because we are a bit like alligators really except we only get two sets of teeth did the second teeth push the first teeth out I can't remember I used to love having wiggly teeth wiggly wobbly whatever you want to call it oh it was lovely but uh yeah I so I kind of just left there I felt that I made a good impression with a dentist and I kind of felt that she'd fallen in love with me but I wasn't sure so I then left bloody motorbike out there I then left and oh they said I'll make an appointment in a week I then went down to the reception and I said have you got an appointment please I have to have a 40 minute appointment because I've got to have a tooth out and two fillings and she looked at me saying you don't need to tell us like what you need to do just the 40 minutes is enough information I said but I want you to feel sorry for me and maybe give me a cuddle and she said no that is actually not how things work anymore in this day and age and we might have to ban you from the premises I said no I didn't do anything I was joking she didn't laugh so yeah things went a bit weird but I just I felt a little bit um I felt like a bit of piece of meat really the way they just like all stood and stared at me while I was having my teeth looked at I walked in there I could feel the tension but all these women getting excited I can't even say that without laughing that's ridiculous that's got to be the silliest thing I've said for a long time um anyway I just this the receptionist said yeah we've got one on the 5th of May I said the I said the 5th of May she said no the 5th of May and I said okay and I said wait a minute when is that she said it's it's Tuesday next Tuesday I said no no no no have you got one further away she said why I said I'm scared she said oh okay I said have you got I need at least a week of freedom before so I don't have to think about it and then go you know at least in a week afterwards so I got appointment the week after I don't know what day is Monday or Tuesday and that was the first part of the day over that was the part that I thought was going to be the most difficult and it was the least difficult as far apart from the the x-ray at the back of my mouth that was the bit I didn't enjoy but other than that the whole thing was kind of yeah pretty much splendid and I think the dentist I think I made a friend for life there so that was good and but I had an appointment with the opticians booked for half past one and I had absolutely hours to wait so I went in there and said is there any chance of getting a sooner appointment because I just I haven't really organized the day particularly splendidly and she said that's a bit of a strange way to put it but no we haven't got any then she said wait a minute because she said well we haven't got any cancellations but oh maybe we can fit you in at 12 45 and I thought well anything's better than 130 well apart from 230 obviously that'd be worse but she said what 12 45 I said oh that's that's splendid and I realized I'm using the word splendid a lot today and I didn't know why and she said she mentioned it he said you're used to the word splendid have you been used to anywhere else and I said the dentist she said oh I said what do you mean she said yeah there's something weird about that dentist I said what I mean how do you know you don't even know which dentist I've been to she said there's a one with the big stairs and you can't get in you think it's locked but actually it's open and you knock and there's people in there they don't answer the door I said well no but I do know the one you mean well if it's not the one how do you know what one I mean I said because I went to the wrong one to start with she said a lot of people do that I said do they she said I don't know why did you say then she said to be honest with you I'm very bored and I've got to stand here for the next two hours till my lunch break and I just assumed just listen to you talking rubbish for the next 10 20 minutes if it kind of brings me closer to my lunch you know I mean I said yeah I do but I don't think we were talking rubbish she said uh yeah I think I think we were I said we were she said yeah I'll take responsibility we both were I said okay fair enough I thought it was a serious conversation and I thought she was chatting me up but apparently not my emotions get everywhere like I keep falling in love and just being let down which I shouldn't have told her and she said well you're just coming to get your eyes tested why do you assume that everyone's in love with you I said just past experience she said past experience or past fantasies I said it doesn't matter doesn't matter which and she said well if you want anyway anyway so I just went for a walk because I had a bit of time to kill I think this was now this is about 11 o'clock at night in at night in the morning so I had a fair amount of time to kind of get through so what I did is I went for a walk around I went for a walk around the park where the castle is there's a castle and just walked around can't go in the castle because it costs money just had a really slow ponder around not the whole of the park because that take it's quite a big park but just around the main you know the popular part and I really took my time had a little sit down found a bit of sheltered space had a little sit down and then walked up and thought I know what I'll do because I had enough money to get a few little bits of groceries because I normally get all my deliveries or everything delivered so I haven't been in a supermarket to buy any kind of like grocery stuff actually it's not true in August July rather last year I did once buy a few little bits on the way home from the hospital because when I got a bus so that was that one that's only one time but other than that yeah I haven't for years years and years and years and I went into Sainsbury's a place that I used to go into really regularly like nearly every day when I lived near the town especially when I was at university I would buy stuff oh you know on the way home not not every day but I'd be in there quite a few times a week just getting bread and milk and stuff like that so I went into the same it's like a small Sainsbury's it's not tiny not tiny but it's it's not like a huge Sainsbury's went in there I couldn't find any baskets loads of loads of trolleys I don't want a trolley wanted a basket I didn't have enough I wasn't gonna buy a lot it was literally just what did I end up buying I bought a packet of sausage rolls I bought two pints of milk or one liter of milk semi-skimmed I bought some muesli Alpen original and I bought some cookies non-chocolate like oatmeal cookies like but the Sainsbury's home brand so they were oh do yummy and the reason I bought them is because I hadn't I hadn't eaten since the morning I hadn't been to the toilet I hadn't done anything since I left my flat and the last time I ate was about eight o'clock and I didn't get home till wow I think it was three half three four something like that it was yeah this is it was a long day it was a seven hour day so from the time I left to the time I got back it was seven hours so so that's half three isn't it half eight half nine to half three half four I don't know anyway I so I went got a few little bits in Sainsbury's so I'm walking around towards the yeah I'm looking for the cereal aisle because I've got everything else although I did get a jumbo sausage thinking oh I thought they'd have packs of sausages and I went around the corner and they did have packs of sausages so I got those because there's two to choose from really it was like Sainsbury's home brand but normal and the ones that were like really cheap I go for the normal ones and I went took the jumbo sausage back because I wanted more than two one sausage roll and then I was looking for the breakfast cereal like where is it called because it's been years since I was in there in that particular store I couldn't even tell you how long it's been years anyway years and years and so I'm looking for the breakfast cereal I see them move so I obviously get a bit excited I don't dance because you know I've learned not to do that in public and then I hear shouting and there's a bloke shouting threatening another man I didn't know it was a man but so I looked around the corner to see what's happening it was huge man about six foot seven really tall having to go at somebody who was probably my height possibly same age maybe a little bit older having to go in for being in his way always saying oh you walked into me when actually I spoke to the bloke afterwards he said no he just literally stopped in front of me he wouldn't move so and anyway he was he was being very very aggressive to him and he was threatening him and then he walked away so I walked over to the bloke to see if he was okay and he said yeah that little man just wouldn't get out of my way no I spoke to the other one I didn't speak to the bully I said how funny would that be well it's not funny but silly silly you know silly so I went over to the bloke who was he was little but we were all little compared to this bloke and I said you okay he said yeah I said he wasn't he was in shock he kind of almost he was kind of stuck to the spot a little bit which is understandable and so I thought I better give him a kiss of life and he said no no stop stop I said it's okay I'll be gentle and he said no this is weird why are your stories always got kissing and cuddling in it's weird you know holding hands with complete strangers and everyone wants to fall in love you that's a weird way to talk about strangers and I said look it's just it's just it's just I don't know I thought maybe he said are you sure maybe you need to get yourself a girlfriend I think you're lonely I said no I'm not lonely I just I like helping people and he said how is that helping me kissing me I said I didn't kiss you it's a it's the breath of life it's the it's a different thing he said but not on the floor am I I'm breathing I said I didn't know you were breathing you look like a statue which he did to be honest he just stuck to the spot and and he said I'm not stuck to the spot I'm just not moving there's a difference look and he moved his legs he said look if I was stuck to the spot I wouldn't be able to move my legs like this he did the splits I couldn't believe it I said what are you doing he said I used to be a gymnast I said okay and he said look I can do the splits I said yeah I can see that he said the only problem is I said what I can't get up again so I had to help him up and I was saying look you don't want to want physical contact in the end I had to help you up and he said there's a difference between helping someone up who's just done the splits to show off and get stuck to try and give them to kiss them and I said it wasn't kissing it was a kiss of life it's a different thing it's it's it's a different thing he said you can repeat it all you like but it's not going to make it sound any better really and I said I'm not trying to make it sound better than I realized I was and then I said to him this I said look none of this even happened so why well I'm not going to have you let you have a go at me for stuff that didn't even happen he said that is a good point but why do you keep mentioning it I said I don't keep mentioning it it's only during this this story that I'm talking about it he said okay so let me guess you're telling me that you haven't mentioned not having any trousers on I said not once have I mentioned not having any trousers on so you're telling me during this recording not once has someone said to you please put your trousers on no oh okay the pantomime yeah the pantomime which would not be a good you're on a date with your girlfriend and she's got a kid with her and you're watching a children's pantomime that's not the ideal place to be sitting there without your trousers on is it I said it's not real though is it it's just a joke it's just me messing around and it's an ongoing theme of me not wearing trousers he said yeah but you'd be get arrested wouldn't you if it was real which means it's not there's nothing humorous about it it's a very very very very serious thing I said sorry dad he said good don't don't let it happen again now what really happened is the actual real thing is the bloke was like being horrible to him I went over to the bloke and he was in shock and I said you okay to start with he didn't even like acknowledge me I didn't if he thought he might thought I was with the bloke you know like oh god not him now and um he said oh what I said you okay he said uh and I said look it's fine you're okay now ain't nothing gonna happen to you and um I just checked he was all right and he said he's fine and I went back to around the corner where the cereal is and this tall bloke was looking at me he must have heard what I said to him because there was silence I think the whole the whole supermarket just stopped and was listening because this bloke was shouting before so I think all activity ceased even the fridges turned themselves off temporarily and um I kind of I carry on doing some shopping and I just keep an eye on the the bloke the you know the the smaller bloke just to make sure he's okay and I pay for my stuff and then as I leave he's coming out kind of the same sort of just behind me and he comes up and says thank you to me I said don't worry I said where's have you seen the bloke he said yeah he's he's followed me out and I said don't worry as long as you're with me you'll be fine and I and then I said look over there and I pushed him and I ran off so hopefully he's okay no I just said he'd be fine and he he we walked together I said where I'm turning left so I said okay I'll come with you and um the bloke just went he left the other bloke just didn't follow us and went and I just said look you'll be fine just these people they're around unfortunately but then he said thank you and he walked to the end of the road and I tried to hold his hand but that was just because we were crossing a road that's a safety thing isn't it isn't it isn't it I didn't I did have someone do that to me once a friend of mine she got married we used to date but she got married I've known her for forever since I was 17 and it's so funny because we're walking down the street I feel we might have been in the supermarket actually and we've just been friends I haven't seen her for ages now but we've been you know for the last 20 odd years 25 years 30 years it's just been friendship and she put her hand down she held my hand and we just both started laughing it was so silly and so funny the way she did it because you know there's nothing going on between us but it's just the way it is you had to be there I guess we don't have to be there I mean to be fair if you got access to a time machine you'd be wasting your time going back to that moment wouldn't you of all the things you could do with a time machine if you imagine going back to see that me with that lady and her holding my hand and then getting told that was your one trip on the time machine you don't get any more trips and you wasted it on that no so here's the uh so that's that was a bit eventful and I'm like I'm feeling okay about myself because I potentially got in a way of something maybe I don't know but this I think I calmed him down anyway the bloke that was uh being like picked on and that felt nice just like because I wasn't I'm more able to defend someone else than sometimes myself you know if someone else is being picked on I I'm a different person to what I am normally and there's no I don't need to be in a I don't need to be in a so someone's for me to get into like a state of mind of getting into an argument with someone or whatever I need to be in a certain mood but when somebody else is being picked on I switch to that straight away instantly there's no kind of no mood involved it's just it switches and I'm there but if someone if I was in that situation that bloke was having a go at me I may well have been like depending on how what mood I was in I might have cowered down I might have said sorry to the bloke or I might have gone a different way but it would depend on what mood I was in but seeing someone else from the outside there's there's there's no dependent upon mood it's just I don't know why it's I seem to value other people more than myself which is kind of weird it shouldn't be like that they've got a bit I've got good goosebumps it's a bit cold in here I don't mind so then I trot off to the old opticians I'm early I'm pretty much a half hour early so I go and sit down they say oh if you walk up there you can go sit down or if you want to have a look at some lenses look at some glasses so I did and then I kind of got a bit bored there so if you want to go and sit down and get a walk around and literally I think every everyone but one seat is took all these people sort of sitting together so I walked further down pretty much in the hearing aid department and sat down on one of them seats and I don't know I mean I sat down no one seemed to notice me at least they didn't seem to hear me so that was terrible sorry so I I've actually had hearing tests there once before because I miss things when I'm watching tv or watching a movie I miss parts of what's being said yeah I had a hearing test a couple of years ago and they said my hearing was fine fine absolutely fine so yeah weird I mean why would I choose not to hear things I wouldn't and also I used to be partly deaf when I was a kid up to the age of I had an operation but yeah apparently I'm fine which is good so eventually I get called early which is good I'm thinking oh I get home early I was wrong as I get called so blah blah blah the lady took me to one of the counters checked my information all that stuff and asked me to wait in a waiting area for the actual optician and then the optician came along she was lovely really really nice yeah she wanted to marry me I'm yeah 100% and did the test you know where they blow the air into your eye now I'm okay with that now it used to be real used to hate that but they used to be proper a lot more pressure on on the air than they are now I'm sure they did and it's much more advanced I guess and then I went into a different room so I had a couple of like eye I take pictures of my eyes on back of my eyes and stuff which I had to pay for extra on top and then I went into the actual optician's room and there was quite a few things done it turns out I have cataracts in both of my eyes and I also have a lazy eye with my left eye is lazy now I thought it was the whole of my body but no it's just my left eye but it's not in a way that some people have it so people don't think my I've got two eyes pointing different directions which is often thought of as like a lazy eye but what it is is they're not looking at the same thing slightly off which I knew well I was told I had a lazy eye when I was 15 by the opticians and they gave me a patch to wear as well as glasses all the time stopped wearing the glasses all the time after being made fun of at school you know I stopped wearing a patch when I was outside the house and I just wore it when I did my exercises when I was indoors and I had to do these exercises with my left eye and a pencil and just focus on it moving from right to left and all that stuff and I thought it was done because I thought if I had a lazy eye someone would tell me like they'd be making fun of me you know like who are you looking at you talking to me or them you know that kind of silly stuff but it's not that kind of lazy eye I honestly I didn't didn't know about this what they meant I actually thought that's what they meant when they said I had a lazy eye that's why I kind of took it seriously when I was 15 because I thought why has no one mentioned it anyway it turns out it's not that kind of lazy eye it is how they how she found it out was when I was just looking through my left eye you know reading the letters the letters were disappearing and moving around like the left hand side the letters were disappearing at the bottom and when I moved to the right hand side the net the last two letters were literally touching each other just like they were making love as like L and K I should have said F and K shouldn't I but now I'm not rude like that and and I said to her this is weird this is freaking me out and she said if you need to take a time out you need to like I said no not like that because she knew about a bipolar and stuff like that and I was like she's really sensitive it was nice really caring I said no it's not not anxiously just I've never had this before and she said well generally your right eye will compensate for what not doing and because you never read with your left idea I said no so therefore and she's and I said is that why I have to reread stuff and she said yeah because you're you're not always reading things correctly so you have to go back and reread not all the time but I have to go back and reread something and I said it's like dyslexia in one eye she said no she said it's okay in a sense of the letters are moving around on the screen on the page maybe for your left eye but it's not that it's it's minimal but enough to cause problems you know and but it shouldn't happen anymore because now I've got I've got the new lenses well I will have the new lenses that will correct that in my left eye and they didn't seem to pick it up in any previous optician exams she was so thorough I don't know how she picked it up but maybe it's to do with age and cataracts maybe maybe she looked a bit more deeper into my eyes to sort of see what was going on for health wise and decided to test me on that I don't know or maybe she just didn't know who I was looking at and maybe that's what it was and she basically with the cataracts oh the good thing because I've got hereditary well it is hereditary in my family macular whatever behind the eye thing my nan had it and my dad I don't have it no sign of it I thought I did but I don't so that's good but it's the cataracts that's probably why my vision's gone down quite a lot over the last few years and she said it's early stages with the cataracts so I should have a good hopefully have a good 10 years before I need to have them replaced and which is 10 years isn't a lot is it but still wow I just felt so old I said I feel so old she said you are old so what also to the lady I was looking at the glasses you know afterwards I said I thought cataracts only start developing in old people she said yes it's true it's like no one's making me feel good here can you make me feel better please and she said no you're not a baby wow so yeah there's going to keep an eye on on my eyes and I've got actylites antiglare actylites again so I need to probably get myself some sunglasses with a prescription as well for the summer although the shades go darker it's not the same as sunglasses you know I mean but it's it's still it's still like they do go dark but not like proper brown like you get with sunglasses so that's one of the things I need to focus on is to be careful about sunlight with my eyes to keep them sort of shaded from too much sunlight but I did point out because of my skin I have to keep out the sunlight anyway because I just I burn so I just I don't generally I do go out obviously with Vinnie taking him out but I don't spend that long times long periods of time out in the sun I don't sunbathe my sunbathing days they never even started to be honest that's not true I used to sunbathe when I was a kid it's ridiculous because I was burnt what was the point I just wanted to be part of the gang you know you go on a beach and there's everyone sunbathing except you I want to be like everyone else like a sausage on a grill except I was the only sausage burning and smoke coming out so so far so good really I mean not not as far as a cataracts go but she was lovely and she kind of very clearly explained everything to me so that was good then then then the lady who was looking after my glasses to order the glasses this is when it became complicated and I had these two vouchers that I could use as a discount I needed three pairs of glasses one for reading I say needed I could have got bivocals like I've got now vibro by vocal whatever it is I didn't want them I want separate pairs to read separate pairs to use a screen because I end up using the wrong part of the lenses to read and stuff so it's costing me more but all the lenses I've chosen are cheap I haven't chosen any expensive lenses not lenses um glasses but I also do have to pay for the lenses as well so I got a discount and I found she kept telling me different prices and what this would be and I got so confused and if I don't know I kind of felt like she was trying to aim me trying to get me to spend more money or she might be trying to get me to spend less money I'm not sure but whatever it was I was getting confused and I was getting very frustrated with the whole thing and I think she was getting frustrated it wasn't an enjoyable experience for either of us because there's too many pairs of glasses to choose from what to choose three three pairs of glasses and I had to have them different colors because otherwise I'm going to get muddled up and in the end we did um I found them and we went over to her desk it it also it took so long that she had to go and see another customer while she was waiting for me to choose I'm not good at choosing things not always been the easiest thing I'll be honest my whole life of too much choice it stifles me I mean even now sometimes I go on to Netflix and I'll be on there a while and I realize I've not looked I've not watched anything I'm just looking at stuff and I've spent like half an hour and I've not watched a single thing I've just been looking through the the directory of stuff the same thing with blockbusters or with all video shops in the past I used to spend hours when I was a kid looking through the video looking for every single video every single video until I found one or two or three that I wanted and sometimes in there for hours the same with bookshops the same with music stores you could never decide same with menus what I do now is there are two things I do if I go into I don't go out eating much but sometimes there's a local place that my dad might meet me up in I don't know if he's going to meet me anymore because I said a naughty word last time we visited last time he spoke on the phone and I don't know if he's going to speak to me again but he when we meet there one of two things I do either I copy what he's having or I just have a very basic thing that I like if he has something that I don't want to eat that I don't like then I won't eat that but otherwise I'll just copy what everyone else has it's easier because if I have something different chances are I'm going to want what they're having and not everybody is up for swapping you know it's um I remember my stepmother saying she said I can't swap with you I'm a vegetarian and I said go on I really fancy that pasta that pasta um whatever it is she said it's a lasagna I said okay that vegetarian lasagna yes vegetarian I fancy that now I don't want this burger it's very I don't know I think sometimes she can be a a little bit inconsiderate to be honest anyway it went on forever and then she this lady was working out all the costs and it came to 182 pound or something that I'm gonna have to pay out and I said okay great if you can order them and I can come and collect them and pay for them on the on the day in a few weeks or whatever and she said no no no no no no I said what she said no I said that's always been the way I'm sure it has I've ordered you know I've paid I mean I've been accustomed with them for a long time like 20 odd years so well 17 years since I've lived there but I was with the same the same company before I moved here right to this town so I've been 17 years 19 years so I've been with that for 19 years in this town never mind the previous towns and she said no no no no no I said I'm pretty sure that's what happened I ordered ordered them and I came back and I paid for them and I said this is something that I'm gonna need it's not like I'm ordering something um completely pointless you know this is something that is super important to me no no no no no okay I said well how can I do it she said well you can pay for it I said well I think you probably give the impression that I can't pay for it because I don't have the money I've got six pound in my bank and she said well that's not going to be enough that's the wrong thing to say you really was I said thanks um but I thought no I thought I had eight pounds in the bank but I had six pounds anyway she said um well we're gonna have to just put it on hold and suspend the order I said well I'll phone up when I got the money together I'll phone up and pay over the phone and then you can get it delivered to there and I'll come and collect them she said no I said what she said no you're gonna have to come in and pay for them because we've got vouchers that we can't activate over the phone I don't understand what that's about but you can't activate the vouchers over the phone so I'm gonna have to go in pay for them and then go back one or two weeks later to collect them so that's three journeys just to get some glasses including the eye test I mean yeah I expected two journeys and this is me who the last time I've been in town um twice probably in about five years four years so yeah it's not not something I do regularly going out to town and I was kind of pleased with myself that I chose to do it and to get out and you know sort of make an effort to sort of break the cycle I suppose but it's just starting to annoy me a little bit it's like oh come on can't you be a little bit flexible she said what you mean like that bloke that did the splits I said I said no I don't mean physically flexible besides I mean he couldn't get up again could he she said no was that a real story I said what she said were you just making it up I said oh who knows I don't know what's going on who knows I lose track of what I'm making up on what's real what's not real what just it's all kind of blends into the same kind of pile of poo really she said uh at least she didn't use the word s-h-i-t because you know not everyone likes that word I said I know I know and um she said no you can't do anything you're gonna have to come back I said there's no way around this and she said what do you mean you what you want to tickle me I said no I don't want to tickle what what do you mean do I want to tickle you she said I thought you might was going to come out with something silly like that that's what you normally come out with on these podcasts and I said no I'm not into that's inappropriate and I would never no that's not me I'm actually a decent person if you just get to know me a little bit she said I know enough wow I really was surprised at that anyway she I said is there anything else she can do she said I can do lots of things I said no I'm talking about regarding the glasses is there anything any other way of financing it and she said well we don't give credit but I said well credit be nice because I left my house and I've come to town for the first time in a long time and it's took a lot to get out to come here and you know a bit of credit would be nice and she said not that kind of credit we're talking about financial credit I said okay I said I don't really want credit anyway because I want to get in debt but she said well you can potentially pay with Klarna she said do you know what Klarna is I said yeah I do have you ever used Klarna before I said why are you saying Klarna like that she said because that's what it's called I said that it's not it's called Klarna and then I realized she was saying it correctly really wasn't she I guess I was just a bit frustrated I wanted to kind of pull her up on something because she'd been pulling me up on not pulling me off pulling me up on stuff like I wanted to just but I couldn't because she was saying it perfectly she did everything correctly I just I think I've been there too long you know just too long so I said well I used to be with Klarna I bought stuff on them in fact I'm pretty sure I got my television with Klarna at about 2019 time and what you do is you just pay it you buy it I've got a few things on Amazon I think with that as well in the past where you just pay three payments which makes it a little bit easier you know and I said okay let's try Klarna she said okay go ahead I said what do you mean go ahead she was waiting for me to do something she said I said well do you want to do it you know waiting for her to sort of tap her computer screen she said no it's something you have to do I said what do I have to do she said you have to use Klarna I said I'm confused now she said well if you get your phone out and I said yeah and just open Klarna up I said I haven't got it on my phone she said we need to download it and I said well I can't because she said why not I said because the first of all the data on my phone is not working in here I don't know why there's no reason for it but the data on my phone the normal internet which normally works wherever I go generally is zero here I couldn't even open up anything and she said well why don't you log into our internet I said okay so I did and I was getting nothing with that nothing was coming up and then I tried again this time it seemed to come up something so I started to download the app and it was moving about one percent every few minutes really really slowly like super super duper slowly and I said look I'm gonna have to take this outside and try and download all my data so she said okay she said go outside and try and do it there and then I tried to download it at this point she's gone she's left because she's suspended everything she said well um you know come back in if you are able to to download the uh the app and you know log in so I said okay fair enough so I'm standing outside the store for what seems forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever eventually it downloads it takes a long time it downloads and then I have to figure a way of logging in because I've not logged into it for years literally but it allowed me to log in on about a fourth attempt kept logging me out and a fourth attempt allowed it let me log in and then it uh then I go inside and say I'm in and then it wasn't working and they got someone to say oh can you you're any good with Klarna I don't know how to do Klarna you're any good with setting up a payment with Klarna I don't know and then they said well get someone that does know and there was a lady and then they take me to another desk there's a man and a lady a man who doesn't know the first thing about Klarna and the lady that does they don't have my details on the system because the lady who I was dealing with went to lunch and I think she missed her lunch by about an hour because of me so but then she went to lunch they found me on the system so they did find my details and how much I had to pay 182 pound 181 something and I had to once I got into the shop my my internet wasn't working anymore so I logged back on to their internet this time it worked and allowed me to put in the amount and so I put in the amount and then I clicked go and it came three payments one was today and I said what's this they said yeah you gotta pay a third today and then you paid the other two payments over the next two months I said no he said yes I said no no this isn't how it's supposed to be working he said but that is how it works I said I don't think it used to be like that with Klarna I might be wrong you know I realized I was wrong once a couple of weeks ago for the first time in my life and I I realized that maybe there's a chance I could be wrong again unlikely but you never know and he said why are you telling me that I said I don't know I'm just getting confused now and I said are you sure that I really have to pay a deposit he said yep it's the only way we do it I said well I've already mentioned that I had six pounds in the bank to the other person so why were they encouraging me to pay by Klarna he said I don't know she's at lunch and I was like I said that's it all right bye everyone and I just just put my phone took switched my phone off and I said uh when I got the money I'll just come in and pay it for the you know I said see ya and I just left when I left I realized that I hadn't eaten for hours and hours and hours and I hadn't been to the toilet for hours and hours and hours and I thought there's nowhere to go but I've got a big journey to get home now so I go down to the bus stop on a bus station it's not really a bus station it's just a road where buses stop and I managed to find a bus that's taking me part of the way and then behind me there's another bus that's going to take me further up but not all the way so luckily the bus that's taking me half the way there overtakes the bus that's going to take me three quarters of the way there or maybe more actually but it takes me you know it's still like a 20 minute 25 minute walk but anyway I got off that and jump onto the next bus get off there and I walked the rest of the way my feet were tired because wearing boots I was I did have a sausage roll on the bus but I was being very careful with the amount of liquid I was exhaling and enjoying because I did have a bottle of water but I knew that I had to be careful because there was nowhere to go to a toilet so I literally went like seven hours without going to the toilet doing a wee wee or anything and then but I did have one sausage roll and I also had a biscuit or cookie thing and some water and then I walked the rest of the way to where I where I live so that's another 25 minutes I was so tired so very very tired when I got back I just uh I went and got Vinnie and I just sat down and I was like I'm knackered really really tired um brought him back so I got home I sat down I took my boots off took all my clothes off and just changed into my regular sitting around clothes and I ended I think I was in bed by nine half eight or nine and that was it for me for the day I just I'd done I was done really it was very very very long day a very long day and I was just happy to to get back really but yeah that was my Monday so I've got an appointment to go back to the dentist in two weeks time and then I'll go back to the opticians when I got the money to pay for the lenses or for the glasses all three pairs and then I'll have to make an appointment apparently I don't have to make an appointment to pay for them they're happy for me just to turn up to do that that's weird isn't it um but then in order to collect them I need to well I need to sort of make an appointment once they're there so if they let me know they're there like the following Friday then I guess I'll have to make an appointment for the the week after maybe Monday or Tuesday or whatever but whatever happens I'll be wearing new glasses the thing is none of the glasses look rubbish anymore there was a time like when I was young that they used to have like NHS or National Health Service glasses that were really unfashionable if anything they're more fashionable now than some of the others like the black frame they're okay actually so yeah that's it that's the whole story and then when I get home and my friend Vinny's mum's telling me what a weird day she's had um and then she phoned me again about eight o'clock it's like wow strange day for everyone well not everyone but us two or three including my son I feel the only one that had a really good time was Vinny he loves spending time over there now my voice is getting a bit croaky so I'm going to go thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy be gentle with yourself you deserve to feel safe lots of love bye