(music) Useless Inventions Trivia Tuesday LMBYTS #1407 Jason Newland 6th August 2025

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name's Jason Newland. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. This is Trivia Tuesday.

Yeah, Trivia Tuesday. Mmm, that's nice. Yeah, I'm ever so pleased about that.

There hasn't been a Trivia Tuesday for ages. Yes, this is Trivia Tuesday. A little bit late.

A little bit, little bit late. So, today's Trivia Tuesday, I'm going to focus on inventions that solved no problem at all. So, basically gadgets that no one ever needed.

So, I'll try and think, you know, basically, I'll try and come up with some really just silly stuff, if I can, and this is fairly silly. So, I've not gone through them yet. I've got, how many did I manage to find? Fifty three.

So, that should be enough, about 53. So, anyway, I hope you will. This is weird.

This morning, I took Vinnie out for a walk in the park, like I do every day. And what was strange? So, what's strange is how the microphone seems to be changing its volume for some reason. And I don't quite know why.

Why is it doing that? I don't know. Very strange. I'm unsure as to why it's so low.

But I'm hoping, upon hoping that I can sort out the volume, because this is annoying me a little bit, just because I'm trying to get the audio quality to be the best it can be. The best that I can get. Anyway, I did do a sleep hypnosis recording earlier.

So, you may want to check that out. Oh, yeah, I took Vinnie for a walk. And oh, man, he was in the park.

And the first thing I noticed is this big white sheet before we even got into the park. I looked to my left. And there was this big hot air balloon in the sky, which isn't something that I normally see.

When I look up into the sky all the time, but it was a bang into things, but I normally see a hot air balloon. And it was virgin and virgin on the side of it. So I don't know.

But basically, Vinnie was scared of it. So I don't know if he's scared of virgins or he's scared of hot air balloons. I don't know.

But he was scared. And he was running away. He kept looking back and running away.

So we ended up having to leave the park after about seven or eight minutes. Didn't like it. It was okay when we were near a tree because he couldn't see it.

So because he couldn't see it, I guess it disappeared in his brain. And then I maneuvered him so that he could still see it again. And then he wanted to leave.

So we left. I wasn't quite sure why he was bothered by it. That's the problem.

I can't ask. Well, I did ask him, but he wouldn't answer. He can be quite stubborn at times.

I don't know what it was. I mean, this big red hot air balloon. It wasn't like it's not like it was on the ground because it would have from the looks of it would have taken up the whole of the field.

But maybe he's never seen one before. Maybe he thought it was a ball. Why is that ball not landing? Maybe that's what he thought it was.

A ball that was just heading towards him and it wasn't like. Or maybe he was just annoyed because of the ball he couldn't get to. The other day, while he stole another ball, another ball's dog, he stole another dog's ball.

And I didn't even know he'd done it. I'm always watching out for him to do stuff like that. And make sure that I get the ball off him, give it back to the dog whose ball it is.

But the other day, we just, you know, I'm wondering why Vinnie's so excited to get home. He's tail's wagging and he's really excited to get home. And I'm thinking, that's strange.

He must must have had enough of being in the park. And then just as we was heading towards the house, I saw in his mouth this ball. He was so happy.

We got inside and he couldn't wait. He like ran into the living room with the lead still on. Normally he doesn't.

He stops and lets me take the lead off. And I said, come back. And he came back and the ball wasn't in his mouth.

He'd hidden the ball. So I let him off the lead and he ran back in there and I went in and he was like licking the ball. So even now, I don't know where it is.

He's hidden it. That's his ball now. It's his.

He's never going to give it back. I can't believe I've raised a thief. Among the worst people in the world is a thief and I've raised one.

My son's a thief. Oh, I can never trust him now. But I just found it really weird this morning.

How a hot air balloon would freak him. Completely freaked him out. Like on a level that I've not seen before.

Normally he's not too bothered about stuff. He's not really scared of anything. Generally, other than puddles.

Like he will drink out of a puddle but he won't step in a puddle. He's a little bit like his brother Andre, like that. Would not walk through a puddle.

Which reminds me, I need to give him a bath. He hasn't had a bath in ages. I need to.

Oh yes. So, I'm trying to think what else. I did do a Monday's Boring Objects on Monday.

Oh yeah, I talked about bodybuilding. Yeah, and I was doing a like a daily whisper. Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

When I first got out of bed. But this morning, when I got up, I kind of partly couldn't be bothered to do it. And partly, I got a neighbour over the fence that was shouting up at their neighbour about all the noise they'd been making.

About how inconsiderate they were being. Yet, that one was shouting up there at half four this morning. There's surely some irony in that whole situation.

And I knew that if I was going to try and do a recording, all you'd hear was that. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. And I just didn't think that would be just not ideal for me.

Now, what I'm planning to do is get some kind of plug for the window. Now, I've been meaning to do this for years. Just haven't got around to it.

I've done a bit of research. Now, the one thing I can't do is build it myself. That ain't gonna happen.

It's not allowed. I will make a mess. It just, no, DIY is not my thing.

So, I've tried to think of different possibilities that may be useful. Now, I did fill my, fill the whole windowsill with books. And that did, that did dampen down the noise, which was, you know, good, but at the same time, not practical.

First of all, because that's where I wanted them. I was just, I was in the middle of trying to tidy up, get a bit more organised. So, I've got all my hypnosis books, all in one place.

And, you know, kind of plan, plan, although I didn't have a lot of enthusiasm today, to to really start working and making more hypnosis recordings on a variety of different issues and complaints. And so, but today I said, I woke, I just didn't really, it wasn't really in the mood. Although I did do one, but that was a bit later on.

That was a few hours ago. It's now nearly four o'clock. On Wednesday, I know this is Trivia Tuesday.

I'm doing a Wednesday afternoon. Didn't have to tell you that. But it's true.

I'm a little bit late. Oh, yeah, the window. So what I could do is get some heavy duty noise reduction curtains would help a bit.

Another thing I could do is try and seal the window a little bit, just to, you know, there's a certain thing you can put on just to make sure that it makes the window, it just fits, fills in any gaps where sound might be coming through, because they're quite old windows. But they are, I think they're double glazing, they might be single glazing, I think they're double glazing.

So they're probably about 20 years old, the windows.

And another thing I could probably do is I could get a blind, which could be inside because it's quite a big area where I can actually put stuff in. So a soundproofing blind that goes down. Because I can't have anything permanently on there.

So if I if I put my books on there, every time I wanted to do a recording, it would take me a lot of effort. Well, I'm not going to do it as simple as that, because it's, it's not practical, because I can't leave them up there. Because it makes the room very stuffy, because no air coming in.

And when I'm not making recording, I like to have the windows open. I like to have air coming in. So even in the winter.

So it needs to be like a temporary solution. Now, you know, ideally, I'd like it to be perfect and to be completely zero sound. But at the same time, I don't think it really matters.

It doesn't. I don't mean anyone that's used to listening to my recordings over the last 20 years or whatever it's been. We'll know that the two things first of all, is always possibly the likelihood of a bit of background sound.

There's never been perfect quality sound. The places I've lived over the years, there's a lot of, you know, neighbours and I've never, I've never been solitary in the middle of nowhere where there's nothing going on. It's always been like neighbours close by.

And the other thing is, yeah, I suppose that's it really just that I, it's never going to be completely silent. Like they're yabbering on now. But I can hear it, but it's not loud.

They're not shouting that they are speaking madly. They can't, don't know how to speak quietly, but it's not that loud at the moment. When I'm doing these recordings, and as I said, anyone that's been listening to Let Me Bore You To Sleep, sometimes there's a good deal of background neighbours chatting away and stuff, even maybe music in a neighbour's flat.

Because if I just waited here for the ideal time to make a new recording, which I have done in the past, that's how I have kind of lived my life in the past, waiting for it to be quiet, and then I start a recording. And I don't know when the noise is going to start again. And that's not relaxing for me, to be fair.

So and also because I got Vinnie now, well, I've had him for blimey, two years, two years, three years. How long have I had Vinnie for? Wow, three years in December. Three years he's lived with me in December.

So what is it now? August, September, October, November, December. So literally in four months time, I'll have had him for three whole years. And he still doesn't like me.

Mind you, I challenge anyone to live with me and like me. I think I'm not the easiest person to live with, I don't think. And he, he's quite sensitive to outside sound.

There's certain things he doesn't bark at anymore that he used to bark at. So when the dustman or dust people come and collect the garbage, the rubbish, bags, he used to be all over that, bark, but like, you know, because they're very noisy. I mean, to get that job, you have to actually probably do a shouting test before you can even get the job.

So yeah, you know, I think in a job interview part of it is, it's not just lifting stuff. But it's also you got to shout continuously for the whole time you're working. And it's not just shouting, you've also got to include moaning about every aspect of the job, and then also swearing lots as well.

So that's part of the job in this country to do that kind of work. And it's in the contract. Vinnie used to bark at that, now he doesn't care.

Never ever does he ever, he doesn't even wake up when they're outside. And they're here about 730 in the morning, every, every two weeks. He doesn't care.

Not bothered at all. So he got used to that. But if a neighbor closes a door, he'll bark.

You know, something that happens much more regular than so, you know, that's only two weeks, every two weeks, and he's used to it. Something that happens every single day. He's licking my feet.

Something that happens every single day that stirs him up. Weird, isn't it? And yeah, so what I might do is, so you know, it's also when I'm doing recordings, he starts barking. And it makes it a little bit harder, because at the moment, I can kind of zone out the drone, the droney conversations that's going on.

So I can, I can kind of zone that out. Because it's enough, you know, it's nothing to do with me. And it's not, doesn't apply to what I'm talking about.

But when he starts barking, that's, that's like, I can't continue with the recording when he's doing that until he stops. And once he starts, it's a little bit like, you know, people on mopeds, and they rev up, and for some reason, they can't stop revving. That's, that's him.

He is basically like a teenager on a motorbike, can't stop revving, can't stop revving it, has to rev it really loud. And even when it gets quieter, it'll still rev it a little bit. You know, it's kind of just calm, he's just, he can't not do it.

He's a bit like that with his barking. Eventually, it kind of pitters out a bit, you know. So I might try and look at get the curtains first.

But you can get these plugs, which actually fit into the window. Which might be something that I'll look into doing. And I might go to the DIY store, measure the windows first.

Because this doesn't look like something I'm going to be able to buy online. I mean, I might be able to, but it might be something I have to save up for as well, because I don't think they're like super cheap. But it might be something that I'm going to need to you know, get the correct size, or something that will do a similar kind of thing.

But I will, I will reduce the, the outside dramble, trying to think of a word for it. And then that will hopefully calm down. And it'll be a bit more relaxing.

But another thing I can do is go back to use the other microphone, which doesn't pick up much of the outside. Which will mean, so I'm thinking about moving, getting my table back out, putting it over near the books, the bookshelves. And then using the, yes, having the stuff on there.

I'm not sure, we'll just see. I've even played with the idea of making videos again, but I don't fancy that really. I just don't fancy it.

So other than that, I can't think of anything else that's really going on. It's kind of weird, really, because I've been so busy for the last seven weeks. And then suddenly, I'm back to not really having, or I don't have any commitments.

Really, I mean, all my commitments kind of ended. You know, when Luke left back nearly two years ago, other than Vinnie. But as far as my day to day, because I was kind of looking out for him and helping him out.

And, you know, so that took up quite a bit of my time. And then over the last year, I've been involved with Uncle Sausages, helping him with his flat, helping him with getting bills down and help. Yeah, just little bits, but it's not been like super regular.

It's like once a week, maybe, or every couple of weeks, he'd ask me if I could help him with something, if I could order him something online and stuff like that, that he didn't really feel comfortable doing himself. So I did that, but it wasn't like super regular. And then he was having his kitchen done, and he was having his bathroom done.

He had the flat, other stuff done, like at the end of last year. So that wasn't regular. It was just, you know, as and when.

But those seven weeks, it's been, yeah, it's very, like the days are planned. Yeah, so, and I'd get home and I was tired, and I just didn't really want to do anything when I got back. And I'd be going to bed early, sometimes, you know, six o'clock in the evening, because I was so tired.

And so yes, it's weird now, because this is the first week. I know I had that week where I couldn't go out because of COVID. But this week is the first week where I didn't, I kind of haven't got anything to worry about, in a sense.

I mean, you might not know this about me, I'm a little bit of a worrier sometimes. And I'm very careful in some ways as well. You know, things like with Vinnie, I expect him to run into the road, because that is something that he's done.

Even when he's on a lead I'm talking about, I don't let him off the lead. So I'm always kind of, when I'm taking him out, I'm not just in my own world, daydreaming, walking around, looking at the clouds, looking at the trees, and perhaps not as appreciative to being outdoors as perhaps I could be. Because I'm focused on him the whole time, making sure that he's okay, making sure he's not eating something weird off the floor, making sure that he's the right side of the pavement, so he's not near the road.

If there's a car coming, maybe we'll stop because there's always a lot of room for the cars to get past. And looking out for other dogs, make sure there's no dogs off the lead running towards us, you know, just little things like that. I guess, I suppose I'm just an overprotective parent, I guess, in a way.

I don't know what kind of parent I'd have been. I think I would have been overprotective. I think, yeah, I think I've maybe, you know, what is it they say, wrapping someone up in cotton wool, that might have been me, and that's possibly not, might not have been a great, great way to raise a kid.

I don't know. I'm never going to know now, am I? But I've got this, I've raised two little boys, so I've got Andre and now Vinnie. And although Andre was 10 months old, he'd always be a baby, Vinnie is, and Andre was, did I say Andre was 10 months old? Andre was only a few weeks old when I got him.

So that's the thing about ferrets and little dogs, they're always, always babies. Even when they're old, even when he's an old man, we'll both be old men together. We'll both be in our 70s at the same time, pretty much.

Both, it's really weird, because as we get older, he'll end up walking probably the same speed that I am, because I'm a very slow walker. I do not rush. Generally, I'm not, I can if I have to, but generally, I don't.

Plus, I've got these shoes at the moment, and I don't wear any socks with them. They're too big. They're the right size.

They're size 10, but they slip a little bit, which did give me a blister when I first got them. Now it's fine, I don't get no blisters. But I, it's like, I can't run because they'll fall off.

I've tried, and I end up like, one shoe will end up with the other side of the road. So that's not ideal. So the other day, there was a bus and it was pulling off and all that.

Actually, it wasn't, you know, when you're waiting for a bus, or you're not waiting, but you're going to that. My voice is still a bit croaky, isn't it, from the old COVID, but it's okay. Maybe that's just my voice now, as I'm getting older.

My voice is getting very, very deep. Okay, let's do this, what I like to do when I've got a croaky voice. I was born a woman star.

See? When I first started doing these recordings back in 2006, if you listen, if you go on YouTube, I actually have some old videos on there from, I think probably about 2007. They're black and white. Okay.

And you can hear me and I'm like this. Hello, welcome to www.jasonnewland.com. Well, I think it was jasonnewland.com. And I was 35 years old, or 36 years old. And I had hair.

It was dark hair. I had, I don't think I even had a beard. But when I did have a beard, it was dark hair on the beard as well.

A little bit of grey, kind of just a little bit of the front, a little bit of the back at the sides rather, but very minimal. And because what happened is basically I was part ginger. So I'm 48% Irish, you know.

So I was part ginger, my hair. So I was brown hair, plus ginger. And it showed more in my beard, I had a ginger beard.

It was kind of semi ginger brown. The parts that were proper, proper ginger were the sides like the chin area. Not, not in the middle of the chin, but the sides of the chin.

Does that make sense? So that bit and probably the nastashi kind of part and other parts of the beard, they were ginger. And the front of my hair was ginger, and the sides of my hair was ginger. They went grey first.

So if you ever see someone in their 50s, who's ginger, they're dying their hair. They should be grey. Can you imagine? What a conundrum.

So you're ginger, you've got ginger hair, and you start to go grey. Do you let it go grey? Or do you actually dye it ginger? That's like, it's like, how can you choose between the two? I can make fun of it because I'm part ginger. I'm part ginger, I am.

I was, not anymore. Even, you know, I'm pointing, you probably guessed where I'm pointing. Yeah, same thing there as well.

Yep. Ginger. I know, I was supposed to say red hair.

I didn't have red hair. I had ginger hair. I didn't have red hair.

It wasn't, it was ginger. And I've never been prejudiced against ginger people. I don't, I don't think anyone is really, it's kind of one of those silly, silly things.

Which would be annoying if you was ginger and people make fun of you. Yeah. Any, you make fun of, if anyone's made fun of you for anything, they keep going on and on about it.

It's annoying. It's like when I was at school, oh, it's super handsome Jason, super sexy JJ. And it got a bit annoying after a while.

That was just the teachers. And I dated lots of ginger girls or females with ginger hair. Like how many? I don't know.

One, two, three, four, five, six, six, maybe more than six. At least six. Six, six, six, six, six, six.

Yeah. One, two, three, four, four. Yeah.

At least six, maybe more. Yeah. I actually dated someone and they had ginger hair, but they, for some reason, she dyed her hair red.

And I never came home. Well, I came home. We didn't live together, but I, you know, went around her, her house and she opened the door and she had red hair.

And I thought, why? I didn't really understand why. It wasn't really red. It's like she dyed her hair ginger, but she had ginger hair, but it wasn't, it was kind of mild ginger.

I was going to say more palatable. No, I don't mean it like that. It was, it was milder.

It wasn't quite as, I've dated people that have had ginger hair, like, you know, ginger hair or red hair, like reddish hair. And people have had like proper full on ginger. It's ginger.

And I've dated people like that. And I'll give you an idea of my family. Ginger is in my family.

And you might be thinking just because you had a little bit of ginger in your beard and your pubes doesn't, you didn't say, you can't say stuff like that. Sorry. Can't say anything about what beard? No, I've got one, two, three, at least three of my cousins have had ginger kids.

That was a strong, that's a strong gene. Yeah, so that's three. And I think one of them's got two ginger kids.

Everyone's got, I think, two. Another one's got one. That's just the ones I know about.

And I think my mum, my grandmother had, I think, at least one ginger sibling. I think it was either, I think a daughter, a sister, I think. And so yeah, the ginger gene is strong within my, it's strong within me.

So if I'd, if I'd reproduced, I might have had a ginger kid. So I don't know how I moved from soundproofed curtains to ginger kids. I don't know.

But yeah, the ginger gene is strong within the family. And prostate issues. But hey, there's nothing I can do about that.

Yeah. Right. Classic.

Okay, so these are ridiculous things. Vinnie's barking now. Stop that.

So we've got inventions that solved no problem at all. So the first one is a pet rock. A pet rock.

Not a stick of rock that you would eat, that you'd buy at a seaside town. I don't know if you have them in your country. But we have these sticks of rocks in Blackpool or I guess any seaside town really in England or the UK where they'd have maybe the, it'd be a stick of rock.

It'd be very sticky. And it'd be, I mean, it's a stick, but it's not called stick because it's sticky. It's called a stick because it's long and it gets stuck in between your teeth.

You can get mint ones, which are probably the better ones if you want to suck on them. And they have, sometimes they have like the, the name of the place. Let's say Blackpool, for example, goes all the way through the rock.

So you can see the word Blackpool, just in case you forget where you are. And, but not that kind of rock. Pet rocks sold in the 1970s with no moving parts or life, yet sold millions for its novelty alone.

They're basically just a rock, a rock that you'd find on the floor in a rocky place. We don't really have rocks where I live. There's bricks, but they're usually attached to a wall.

Although there is an alleyway up the road and it's got this wall that's just continuously losing its bricks. And then the bricks go back onto the wall and then the bricks are on the floor again, a few days later. I don't know what that's about.

So that's the first one. I have got these facts checked. So it doesn't mean that they're correct or they're right.

But, you know, so don't get into arguments with people about using these as well. I know for a fact that rocks were kept as pets in the seventies. I know I'm going to argue for an hour and 13 minutes.

No, you don't need to do that. Might be a lie. Number two, USB pet rock.

What? USB pet rock. A rock attached to a USB cable. Okay.

Which is something you plug your phone into to charge it. A USB cable. It does absolutely nothing other than occupy a port.

What's the point in it then? Oh, yeah, these are pointless, aren't they? I suppose so. I don't mind. Number three, diet water.

And marketed in Japan as calorie free weight loss water when water already has zero calories. I don't know what to say about that. Other than it sounds like something I'd probably buy, which is ridiculous.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't.

I can't. I don't know why. I don't know.

Diet water. DVD rewinder. I thought that for a second.

That's a good idea. But no, it's a DVD rewinder. They don't need rewinding.

A device for rewinding DVDs. Do these really exist? Number five is a banana slicer. A tool that slices bananas, which you could do easily with a knife.

I don't know. That sounds like quite a good idea because wouldn't a banana slicer just be a very similar thing to a potato peeler? I'm just thinking. Especially if he was making things like, what would you be doing with a banana? Maybe making ice cream sundaes and stuff like that.

Right, number six is Goldfish Walker. A water tank on wheels to walk your fish outside. That's a weird visual, isn't it? I can't see that as necessarily ridiculous.

Bear in mind, I used to take a ferret out for a walk. I've seen people take cats for walks. I saw someone take a parrot for a walk in town.

Here's me with Andre thinking I was I was the weird one with the ferret and she pulls out a parrot from a suitcase. Wow, number seven, hoverbrella. A drone mounted mini umbrella.

Oh dear, a drone mounted mounted mini umbrella following you around so you don't carry one. I mean, that's yeah, it's a bit lazy, isn't it? Mind you, umbrellas are a bit annoying to carry around because I think I mean, how many umbrellas have you lost in your lifetime? I've lost a few. So maybe some kind of alarm on an umbrella.

So when you get more than 10 foot away, it beeps. So you have to go back and get it. So that would be a good idea.

I think I might just create an invention that could make someone millions. If you do take up that invention, and you create it, which I imagine be quite easy to do. Please, you know, give me a percentage.

Thank you very much. Number eight fur roller applies fake pet hair to your clothes. So people think you own a dog.

So people that own a dog do not want to walk around with dog hairs all over their clothes. The people that don't own dogs want to have dog hairs on their clothes. Is that really, really a fur roller? Blimey.

Right, sobbing spectacles. Glasses with built in sponges to collect tears. I suppose if he was, um, um, I don't know, if a particular emotional person may be or dicing up onions, that'd be quite good, wouldn't it? To collect tears.

Okay, finger beanies, tiny beanies for each fingertip. That's just, uh, would you go for that tiny beanies for each fingertip? And I kind of want to check that one out. Sorry.

Finger beanies. My goodness. Um, I just got a picture of it and, um, it's, it's funny.

I'm sorry. It's a funny, funny, funny. Wow.

It's literally, this product is not a toy only used, only used as a decoration. Mini knitted hand decorations. Um, and there's a picture of a person's hand with a, on their little finger, there's a yellow, little yellow hat.

Then there's a blue hat, pink hat, white hat, and on the thumb, it's a little brown hat. Oh dear. So they do actually exist.

Number 11, avocado on a stick. An avocado product on a stick. Um, okay.

I don't know what that would be about. That might be useful. I mean, if you get, you get, um, sweet corn on a stick, I'm not sure there was a time when people thought sweet corn, why would you have sweet corn on a stick? But it's, it's quite, makes it easier to eat, doesn't it? So maybe, maybe that's what the avocado on a stick's about.

Number 12, century charger, century charger, a 100 foot long iPhone cable. Um, I mean, it depends how far away you are, doesn't it? Because if you're 100 foot away and you need the iPhone to be charged, you know, I mean, there's no, there's no rules about how far you need to be away in order to charge your phone, surely. Hmm.

100 foot seems like a long way. And I do believe it might be wrong, but the longer the lead, the, the less, the less, uh, fast the energy or the electricity travels. But again, I might be wrong on that one.

Number 13 is cuisine. I got whistled when I said that, cuisine. Oh, I did it twice.

Quiz, cuisine, curtain, a cloth that hangs over your nose to let you eat in privacy. Oh, wow. Um, I've got to look this up as well.

I'm sorry. This is, I can't not. So cuisine, cuisine, curtain, a cuisine.

Oh my goodness. There's got one that actually attaches to the inside the nose. So it could just hang down from the nose while you eat your dinner.

And a bit like those false mustaches I used to have in the Christmas crackers when I was a kid. I was little, almost like Adolf Hitler mustaches and put it on in your nostrils. And it'd be quite a bit prickly, but it was fun, I suppose.

But it's one of them, but with a little curtain. I, uh, uh, fair enough. Cuisine, curtain.

I mean, yeah, I, I'm not a big fan of eating in front of other people, because I sometimes can be a little bit of a messy eater. And when I say sometimes, um, I don't feel I've ever eaten where the stuff hasn't gone on my top. I mean, you should see me eat a sausage roll on the, on the, on the bus.

I mean, wow. It's, it's everywhere. It's everywhere.

Um, so stub stoppers, tiny hard hats for your toes. Um, I can't, I can't not, it's the, I want to see the image. That's what it is.

I need to see the image. Stub stoppers images. They're shaped as little hats.

Do you know the hard hats, the yellow hard hats you see building people wear? They're like them that go on the toes. Wow. That is brilliant.

I'm very happy with that. Um, now I know what to get my dad for Christmas. So number 15, chip extractor.

A suction tube to pull the last chip from the bottom of a Pringles can. A suction tube to pull. That doesn't sound, that seems like quite a good idea actually.

Mind you, you could just turn it upside down. And I know sometimes you get a little bit jammed. You know, I feel I need to look at this one as well.

Oh, there's an ice cream van. Paste. Chip extractor.

It's the size, it's, it's, it's bigger than the tube of Pringles. Honestly, it's a massive thing. Just to be fair, I don't think it's probably just for, um, extracting the last one.

You could probably use it for all of them, you know? So you could just, it's just a lazy way to, to eat your, or we don't call them chips in this country. We call them crisps, but you can get your crisp out of packet. You could probably use it for more than just Pringles.

Use it for Wotsits, Monster Munch, if it's got a good suction on it. It's like a, it's like a gun, basically, like a big gun. Number 16, mixer mask.

A mask that doubles as a beer receptacle. Okay. So again, I'm going to have to look at this one.

I didn't quite understand from the, the description. Let's have a look. Oh, wow.

Wow. Wow. Okay.

So a mixer mask is basically, it's like a surgical mask that we used to have to wear a few years back, but in the front of it is a see-through packet full of drink, which you, I imagine you've got some kind of suction thing that you can, um, it doesn't show how it works. Let's see if I can get, um, Oh, it's not letting me. Okay.

I thought it might be interesting to see how that one works. Nevermind. But yeah, it's a, it's basically, you can drink, I guess it's kind of like a dummy thing where you can drink out of it while you're walking around.

Um, I can't know. It's probably like another version of those hats that you have, you know, with straws and stuff that can put drinks in except these ones look really silly. Number 17, belt bubble wrap popper.

Belt bubble wrap popper, a buckle that pops bubble wrap in real time as you walk. Oh God, this is, um, I just want to see, I need to see these. I just need to see them.

I can't help it. Sorry. I have to see them.

I'm getting the idea what it is, but it just doesn't. But it, belt bubble wrap popper. Oh, okay.

Here it is. Right. It's basically, it's these two wheels.

It's two, two things, which it attaches to the front of your belt was probably got a special belt. So it's out of the, it's the front, right? Okay. The front of your belt, the buckle would be, and you put the bubble wrap through it and you just turn it as you walk and it makes the popping sounds.

Right. That is a strange one. Um, Pogo copter, Pogo copter, Pogo stick with propeller blades, guaranteed to fling you into the air briefly.

Pogo stick with propeller blades. This, this looks quite good. Cause I used to have a Pogo, well, I used to play on a Pogo stick when I was a kid.

I don't think I ever had one myself, but I used to play on one because you know, I had friends that had one. I might, I don't think I had one myself. I might have done.

So a Pogo copter. So this doesn't Pogo copter. No, this doesn't, this doesn't.

Yeah. This is no proper ultra efficient flying Pogo robot. Pogo copter.

Let's have a look. And 1991, no missiles. Okay.

Apparently it just, I think it'd push you up a little bit more than a normal Pogo stick, which sounds like a good invention to me. Helmet mounted pistol, a gun attached to a hard hat triggered by blowing into a tube. Um, I mean, technically, you know, it gives, it kind of equals things out, allows people, um, um, that maybe don't have all of their physical movement to defend themselves.

So there's, you know, it's not necessarily a silly invention. Um, oh my goodness. I've just seen a picture of it.

Um, yeah, it's, I suppose if Stephen Hawkins was to make a death wish movie, I know obviously you'd have to come back, but if he was to make a death wish movie, where he was a vigilante, then I suppose they could use that invention for him. But yeah, it's this weird invention. High speed track trainer, a running car pulled behind a car, a running car pulled behind a car.

Does that make sense to me? Does it make sense to you? I don't know. I can't, I just have to look at this one as well. I had no idea.

I did not. No, it doesn't have anything. No, I'm guessing this one wasn't, um, invented.

High speed track trainer. No. So I don't know.

I don't know. Does that make sense? A running car pulled behind a car. Risky exercise at best.

It says there, but that's just adding its own jokes. But next one's missing eyeglasses. Mirrors reflect a single eye to simulate wearing two eyes.

Wearing two eyes. Okay. Um, so that, what does that mean? So someone maybe that's got only one eye, it, it's like it has a fake eye on it, perhaps, which sounds to me like a really good invention, actually.

I don't see anything weird in that. Why is that a strange invention? Mirrors reflect a single eye to stimulate, to simulate wearing two eyes. I don't know that that doesn't sound like a, doesn't sound like strange at all.

Maybe I'm, maybe I'm being weird, but. Airbag undershorts. So an inflatable underwear, inflatable underwear that deploys if you fall.

Brilliant. I like that. See these to me are not silly inventions.

I'm not saying that I'd want them, but I'd definitely like to see them in action. I'd like to see. So I've seen a few people fall over.

I've just seen an image of them. Wow. Okay.

Right. See, yeah, there's. Yeah, some of them.

Yeah. I'm not sure how, how far you'd have to fall for them to kind of inflate, because. If you fall, like if you, it's.

Yeah. If he was falling from a height, then, you know, I could save your life, couldn't it? But. I think most falls are just like small falls that, I mean, falling over can still obviously cause a lot of problems, but.

I don't know if that's enough time, because, you know, parachutes, there's a certain height they have to be at before they can be opened. In order to land safely. I don't quite know what that is, because I'm not an expert on anything, but I know there's, there's a certain you can't open parachutes after a certain height and land safely.

And I'm wondering whether that works the same for airbags, maybe they only work if you're above six foot above the ground. Like, maybe there's a warning on it, you must be in a tree for these to work, maybe. The next one, this is, this is what it says, so I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna not say it, but it says penis exerciser device, a bar, a bar pushing device, supposedly for penile strength.

Okay, if I put this in there, it won't come up anyway, because, oh, it does. Okay. Okay.

It looks like a catapult. Wait a minute. It looks a bit like, do you normally see someone with a neck brace, it's something like that, but when it's open, so like, it's not, you know, you could, it's kind of almost like it's stretching their neck a little bit.

Or a bit like a microscope. I'd need a microscope if I was going to get one. So, next one, useless machine, ultimate machine.

Okay, a box that simply switches, a box that simply switches itself off when you flip it on. What? Why? Why? What? Why? I mean, these are real things, apparently. I wonder if you can still buy them.

See, I'm not really into collecting stuff anymore. I'm kind of more, I'm going around the other way now, just, I don't, I want to declutter if anything. But I just, a box that just switches itself off.

Useless machine. I found it. That's it.

It's just got an on off switch. So when you press it on, it goes back to off again. And that, that, that is it.

That's the whole idea behind it. Wow. Munari's Machine Inutili.

This is an Italian 1930s art machine celebrating purposelessness. Or purposelessness. Yeah, purposelessness.

Okay, cool. So you've got a baby mop costume. Baby outfit with mop fringes to clean the floor as they crawl.

I like that. That's a good idea. That makes sense, doesn't it? I mean, it gives, it gives more purpose to having a baby really, doesn't it? If you can, it's going to be crawling around the floor.

Get it, get it, you know, clean and place up while it's doing it. Now, like they come in different designs. Some of them actually are designed like a mop, like the bottom, you know, the front of them is literally like a mop.

And another one is, yeah, baby mop outfit. They've been very literal with the name. That's a great idea.

A tissue hat. A toilet roll worn on your head for easy allergy relief. That's brilliant.

That's great. The thing is, all these things are actually available to buy, which I was surprised at. Because it sounds like they wouldn't be, doesn't it? Like they're just kind of made up.

Or they're ideas that never kind of got anywhere. But apparently, no. No.

There's a hay fever. There's a hay fever hat, which is basically, it's a hat with like a strap around to keep it on the person's head. And on top of that hat is a toilet roll dispenser, you know, with a toilet roll on it.

There's another hat, which is just like a normal hat. But it's got a slit at the top where you can pull tissues, tissue paper out of it. But these are real things.

These are real, actual things. My goodness. Yeah, that's brilliant.

Love it. Cocktail duster, combined house duster and cocktail shaker. I need to look this one up because I can't even imagine what that one's going to look like.

Right. So cocktail shaker and a duster at the same time. So that doesn't make sense because I can't find it.

Elegant, black, cocktail duster, add a warm atmosphere to your home. But where's the cocktail part? That's what I don't understand. No.

Yeah, cocktail shaker is quite a big thing, isn't it? Which you like shake with liquid inside. And the next one is a plastic bathing suit. Worn to avoid getting wet in water.

Solving fear over need. Okay. A bath, having a bath, but make sure you don't get wet.

Right. Okay. Do I see any issue with that? Let me think.

That might be the weirdest one yet. I'm looking for it, but I can't find it. I mean, that's basically just getting in a bath with a wetsuit on, isn't it? There is literally no point.

And then that's the whole point of having the pointless inventions, but plastic bathing suit. Like a bathing suit is not going to stop you from getting wet anyway. Because it doesn't cover the whole body, does it? I mean, I guess if it's plastic, it will stop certain parts from getting wet.

But a bathing suit doesn't. It's not a wetsuit, is it? Sorry to pick holes. Selfie sticks as chindogu.

I don't know what that means. Initially a joke tool, later embraced widely. Selfie sticks.

I don't understand what chindogu is. I think it's a Japanese thing. All right.

So I think selfie sticks were created and people thought it was silly, but they actually took on. And people realized that selfie sticks were pretty cool and they were useful. I'll just see an image of one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen.

Okay. It's a food cooler. Japanese, it's in Japan.

And the person's got a bowl of rice, probably noodles rather, sorry, noodles. And attached to the chopsticks is hanging from chopsticks is a fan, which is like a miniature little fan that's cooling the food. Well, I've just seen another version of that hat, the tissue hat.

It's a real thing. I mean, these are real things. I can't, I can't, I just can't.

It's like, no. Next is chromatically selective cat flap and orbital bomb. I'm not sure what that means.

Pedric's bizarre cat flap that only lets a ginger cat in plus billion ton bomb ideas. Right. Okay.

Let's just move away from the billion ton bomb ideas. But I'm interested in how they managed to make a cat flap that only lets ginger cats in. I don't know.

I don't know. I've got no idea. Fire curtain around entire high rise.

Okay. So high rise, that's flats, isn't it? So let's have a look. It sounds like a good idea to me, but let's see what it looks like.

Um, wow. Yeah. It.

Yeah. Um, it's, it's a huge undertaking. But I'm not gonna make jokes about this one.

It's like anything that helps people. Good. Let's move on from that.

I don't know how they make them so big. And the reason why they didn't get, didn't kind of become popular is because risk of suffocation and blocking exits. So yeah, fair enough.

But I can't. Yeah. The thing is, the way I see it is like, okay, these inventions, someone's made an invention to save lives.

Like, okay, it didn't work. Needs changes, needs tweaking. But amazing still though, isn't it really? I'm so wholesome.

Cerebrex armchair, cooled head and heated feet to boost thinking. So cool head. So a cool head increases thinking, does it? And warming, warm feet increase.

I didn't know this. And I got a picture of someone that this is weird. Very strange.

Oh, my good. No. No.

Okay. So I've got a picture of it. It's basically a chair.

So you got a heater on your feet, below your feet, heating your feet up. And this big thing sticking over your head, like a fridge. Yeah, maybe not.

Maybe not. A magnetic condom. Claim to improve sensitivity via electromagnet effects.

Well, you know what, I imagine it'd be quite useful. Because if you had the, you know, if you made sure that above you on the ceiling was the opposite to the magnet, it would kind of always be trying to get to the magnet. Or if you place the other magnet, you know, the opposite side of it, you know, so that it is magnetized or whatever, always at the same side, you know, whatever, but another magnet and put that in a specific place.

It could, it could be a solution to some problems that some people have. Oh, I don't know. What do you think? I've just looked at it.

It's, it's, yeah, they're, they're, they're definitely, yeah. I'm not, I don't know. I'm not gonna, I don't know.

Wig with weight. I'm sorry, I can't. I'm not coming with this one out.

Right, you ready for this? Right, wig with weight for self-defense. Makes a fashion statement and a self-defense weapon. So, what was that song from the early 2000s? I whip my hair, I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth.

You remember that one? Just over and over again. Will, Will Smith's daughter. I whip my hair back and forth.

I whip my hair back and forth. I whip my hair back and forth. It's a little bit like that.

Wig with weight. Self-defense. Let's have a look.

Wow. Yeah. So, I suppose if you've got very, very long hair, you could use it as a kind of a whip, couldn't you, I suppose? I used to when I had long hair.

Not as a whip, but I used to. I mean, to be fair, I used to do that thing, you know, I whip my hair back and forth. I used to do that before it was popular.

But I was in my early 20s with my long hair. When I used to wake up, it literally used to fill the entire room, my hair, because it was just so curly. I remember once, someone thought it'd be a funny idea.

So, we was in a car, some friends, and he pulled the ponytail off. You know, there's a little strap thing for a ponytail. We were stuck in that car for seven days.

Honestly, none of us could get out, because my hair just expanded. Toothbrush with... No. Really? Toothbrush with real teeth.

Bristles replaced by actual small teeth. Apparently, it's more for novelty. Really? Here's me thinking, that's my next... That's the next thing on my Santa's list.

Why? Why, though? But why? Fingernail brush made of wall nails. Cleansing tool made with nails pointed inwards. Okay.

Sweeper that hides dirt under rugs. I like that. Sweeper that hides dirt under rugs.

A broom to sweep it up and then discreetly hide it. I mean, that's what every... I mean, I always used to do that. Spring Bible and prayer case.

A Jex book without needing a ribbon marker. Okay. I can't look at this one.

Spring. So it just pops up. That's a good idea, isn't it? Maybe.

Pickle fork and elastic opera hat. I mean, these are like Victorian designs. Designs.

So where does the pickle go? Opera hats, pickle fork, and elastic opera hat. So I can't see. Yeah, I can't get a proper picture of it.

And the next one is Niagara rocking bath. A tub that rocks to keep water still and mimic waves. A tub that rocks to keep water still and mimic waves.

I mean, that's two different things, isn't it? Keeping water still and mimicking waves is not the same thing, I do believe. A multi-purpose cane. A cane built with dozens of built-in functions.

Opium pipe, flute, horse measurer. Wow. Okay.

It's like a Swiss army knife, but for canes. There's a flying saucer camera. Lens system detect UFO color anomalies.

Okay, cool. And goofy bike family contraption. So a bike with multiple seats and a sewing machine mounted.

Why would you have a sewing machine on a bike? Finny, even you don't know that, do you? Why would you have a sewing machine on a bike? And why haven't you eaten your dinner all day? You've not eaten a single thing all day. I don't know why that is. I've just seen a picture of it.

This is ridiculous. This isn't an actual picture. So you got... Right.

There's this one man who looks like a young bloke at the back of the bike. You got the father looks like is standing and he's cycling at the top. No, he's on a chair.

He's cycling at the top. There's a young lady sitting at the front. She doesn't seem to be doing too much.

Just holding on to something. And in the middle, there's a female with a sewing machine. And I'm guessing the bike is moving along, which is rotating the sewing machine.

I think it's brilliant. I do. A vacuum beauty bonnet, plastic mask using suction to beautify face.

Okay, I gotta look at this. This is going to be silly. You know, not like all the really sensible stuff I've looked at so far.

Oh my, really? It's... I think basically it just sucks your skin back. And see you later. Bye.

I want to look at that. A scooter with a cannon. A bizarre armed scooter concept.

Stamp licking dog head. What? Stamp licking dog head. Humidify stamps using a fake dog mouth.

That sounds like a good idea, actually. Right. Okay, it's just pictures of dogs, actual dogs.

Right. No, I found it. I found it.

Vintage 1998. I don't think the word vintage should be before 1998. How can something be vintage? It's only a few years back.

Vintage. I think vintage should be like 1920s, maybe 1930s. Anyway, I can't find a picture of it.

Oh well. A fence cycle. Machine to pull yourself along a fence.

Why? A treadmill inside a cage that opens only after you've used it. Viral. A back scrubber sword.

A giant brush blade combo to scratch your back. And lastly, a scooter with a toilet. A fully mobile lavatory scooter combo.

I don't know what's going on. I'm very confused. Very confused, indeed.

And on that note, I'm going to bring this to a close. So this has been Trivia Tuesday. A little bit late, but still, nevertheless, it got here eventually.

Yes. So thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy.

And be gentle with yourself. You deserve to feel safe. Lots of love.

That's why you can video up. Bye. You got a tattoo? You all right?