(Short | Music) #1573 Let me bore you to sleep | Jason Newland | 14th March 2026

Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name is Jason Newland. La la la la.

Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. So hello, yes, it is I. I have returned. I have returned as I have.

So welcome, it is Saturday the 14th of March Hmm 2026 I'm a bit tired. I think I could do with a little nap or a little sleep or a little slap. Slap.

Maybe. Yeah. So I did a, wow, I did a really long recording last night.

Three hours, well just under three hours. Which is possibly the longest recording I've done ever. I know I do ten hour versions, but like for the actual recording just on its own without a break.

Me sitting here yabbering on for three hours. It's been a while since that happened, if ever. So yeah, it was Let Me Bore You To Sleep number 1572.

Two hours, 56 minutes and 32 seconds. It's a long time. In fact, it was so long that I had to redo how I normally edit it and add on recordings to make them five and ten hours.

I had to redo stuff because the editing software couldn't handle the three hour one. Because it's used to me not going really above an hour and a half, maybe two. But I don't think I've ever got to three before.

So I broke my record. I broke the record. But to be fair, my voice did.

I felt like my voice was going by the end of it. What's this? Who is Banksy? Mystery man identified after decades of speculation. Really? What if it is him? It's a bloke in overalls, blue overalls.

This is on MSN. So I wouldn't necessarily. I'm sure they've named him before.

I'm sure they have. Anyway, so. What do I normally say at the beginning? I watched the trailer for the girl with the dragon tattoo.

And then there was. Wasn't that already done like 20 odd years ago with James Bond? They're doing another one. They had another one girl with a pearl necklace or something, didn't they? There was a second one.

I watched that one. I was disappointed. False advertising.

Rebel Wilson accusing legal dispute. Things are MSN. They showed a story and it just moves to the next story so fast.

So, yeah, I'm just going to turn that off for now. I might have a look at some of the stories at some point during our time together. So, yeah, what have I been saying? I have.

A YouTube channel, which you can join. Subscribe to or just watch my my recordings. All my stuff is uploaded automatically there.

And what else? I've got a website called jasonnewland.com, which is my podcast website and also Jason Newland dot store where you can gain access to download all of my recordings. I'm still in the process of adding stuff to there. And it's a never ending.

It's a never ending job, really. But it's yeah, I'm I'm taking it easy on myself. I'm just.

I update daily. So that, you know, the latest ones are on there. And and also I started making it so that all versions of the recordings are available to download as well.

So let me see how this works. Also. I do have a PayPal.

As well, if you'd like to send me a PayPal gift. Because I have to find a way to cover the 200 pound a month. It costs me to run this free service.

Free Jason Newland dot store. It's a lot of noise outside some motorbikes and stuff. I just want to see how it works, because I don't want to use it.

Why? Because I don't need to. Right. So let's have a look.

So I'm I'm logged in. So if I click on the latest recording, which is 550. Wait a minute.

That's not the latest recording. Why is that? I know because I've gone down. Latest recording 1572, which was yesterday.

So what did I just clicked on? The Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Because at the moment, it's not even a head or anything. It's just if you go to the let me Jason Newland dot store.

There's one, two, three, four, five, six. Seven, eight, nine, ten, ten different podcasts. The Let Me Bore You To Sleep one is the first one.

So I click on there. Go down a bit. Click on Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

There are. Even though I've got 1572. I don't have that many.

I don't have that many recordings saved. I've got 1559 saved. According to this.

So 60 says I've lost. Was that 13 along the way over the last 18 years. So I click on Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

1572. And it says. Add to cart.

What's doing? Add to cart. And I forgot to change. So I forgot to change the writing.

But anyway, if I go add to cart. Or buy with shop. It's free.

Okay. It doesn't cost anything. But it's still is.

So if I put in my email address. To put a different email address in. Because I'm just interested in whether or not it gives the option.

Of. The different ones that you can download. Because you might you know people might not want all six of the recordings.

So put my email address in. Sign in. Don't really know why I have to sign in it.

Should be an easier way of doing it personally. But it's okay. Just.

It keeps track. It's not. Three.

So I've got to put in the code. So set a code to my phone. Blimey.

321198. So just signing me in. It's a different code every time.

So don't. What is doing? Okay. So complete all this.

It's got all my details in there. What is it doing all this for? Okay. Right.

Sign up for news and offers from the store. Oh. But then it says check out as a guest.

So if I get rid of all that stuff. Oh. Complete order.

So. Your order is confirmed. You receive a confirmation email soon.

So let's go to the confirmation email. And see what happens. I realize this is probably a little bit better with.

Visuals. You know. Because it's a computer screen.

I'm not doing on. Oh. Oh wow.

So I've got an email. First one is order confirmed. Confirmed.

And then the downloads are ready. An order. Okay.

So the order confirmed. And it says view your order. So I'm going to view my order.

What does it do? It just comes up. Right. It just tells me what I've done.

So I don't need that. Then. Downloads are ready.

So this is a download link. Let me click on that. And see what happens.

Right. Okay. It allows you to download.

It basically. You download all of the recordings. So it comes to 854 megabytes.

Which you can download. The whole thing. This is where the question comes up.

For me. Is. Is that good? Or is that not good? Is that useful? Or not so much? Hmm.

I mean I could have. In order to have a different page. For each individual version of the recording.

Would literally mean. Six times the amount of web pages. Six times the amount of.

Work. I suppose I could do that. See how long it takes to download.

Bearing in mind. I've got very slow internet. It's saying it's going to take 26 minutes.

But that's. That's not even. One megabyte a second.

Downloading. Which is very slow. It should be.

Like 30 seconds. Maybe less. If I do this on my phone.

I bet you would download a lot quicker. So let's have a look. Download ready.

Click it download. Right. Download now.

Download. Download. So 1.9 megabyte.

OK. So it's definitely going through quicker. I think.

I don't know. What do you think I should do? These are the things that kind of. Not suckle me.

But. Confuse me a little bit. As in what.

What should I do? As far as. You know. I like the idea of making everything available.

But at the same time. It's quite a big file. I don't know.

Maybe let me know what you think. Huh. I hadn't really thought about it.

I don't know why. But I thought what would come up would be. When you sort of did it.

When you sort of pressed. You complete the order. It was give you.

All six. Recordings. With a separate link to download.

Not to have it all in one place. Huh. Huh.

Oh. I just. I don't really want to give myself more work.

I don't know if that's. Particularly. Or if it's necessarily necessary.

I like that. Right. The gates now.

Slamming closed on its own. Because someone's taken away the brick that was lodging it open. And I don't know why.

Because when I woke up. Went downstairs. The front door.

And the back door. The communal doors. Were both lodged open.

But I don't know why. And then we've got someone in the garden. Shouting.

All week. As. I thought it'd quiet down a bit.

So that's why I was doing a recording. I think the gate. Banging.

It's just the wind. Blowing it. That's all it is.

But then another neighbour's shouting about the banging of the gate. I'll go down there later. And I'll lodge it open again.

Because it is a little bit annoying. Because it's. It just.

It seems to open and close itself. Yeah. I've been.

Very vocal today. I'd say it's weird. But it's really bright.

Almost summery sky out there. And it was the same this morning. But about half hour ago.

Maybe 42 minutes ago. It was hailing. Hail.

My goodness. My goodness. Hail.

I thought for a second. No. Can't be hail.

It's just the rain. Splashing off the. The roof.

But it was definitely hail. Because it was bouncing. Water generally doesn't bounce.

Does it? Maybe it bounces off ice. But there's no ice on this. Oh.

Talking about roofs. Did I tell you that the. The solar panel people came round.

The other day. Because my solar panels. That I've got on my roof.

Is supposed to give electricity. To all of the flats in this building. But it's only connected to my flat.

Like the actual equipment. It's only connected to my flat. And into the.

The loft or whatever. And it hasn't been working. The whole time I've been there.

So none of us have been getting a discount. So now. They're putting all this new equipment.

To make sure it's working. So hopefully. Hopefully.

It should be. You know. Get a bit of.

Benefit from it. Because they're on the roof. So they're there the whole time.

I don't like. Put them up there when it's a nice day. And he.

One of the blokes said. Oh you can. You can hammer your electricity.

When it's sunny. I don't think it works like that does it. I mean you still get a bill.

I don't think you like. If it's really sunny day. You don't.

Does the meter not register. Any electricity being used. I don't know.

But. I said well surely. It catches light.

All year round. Not just sunny days. It's.

Because it's light isn't it. All year round. In England anyway.

And that is some parts of the world. It's not light all day. All year round.

And it's shorter days in the winter. But it's like. Does it have to necessarily be.

A particularly summer. Bright summer day. And he said.

I've got other customers to see. I said OK. So.

I've got no idea what the answer to that is. But they. They said that they.

You know. They were getting paid. To see other people.

And they had to finish that. To finish the job. They'd been here too long.

Normally don't have as many questions. As I was asking them. I said.

You'd never have anyone ask you questions. The bloke said. The other bloke said.

Yeah. We often get asked if we want a cup of tea. We laughed.

So I had a. Had a little break then. And I genuinely. Can't remember what I was talking about.

And. At all. So.

Never mind. I mean. I guess.

Maybe I was talking about. Was I talking about. No.

I can't remember. Did I mention it was hailing. Hailing.

So Vinnie. Is just. He's been really weird.

With his food lately. Now. He's always got food to eat.

It's not like I kind of. Withhold food from him. You know.

It's not that kind of relationship. It's not that kind of marriage. And.

I don't withhold stuff from him. But. He's so.

He's so fussy. And I don't know why he's so fussy. Because sometimes.

He don't care. And other times. It seems like he'd be happy to eat.

T-R-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-T-S. All day long. And.

Although I do understand that. Because I'm. You know.

Similar. Really. In a sense.

I think I'd. Much prefer. To eat chocolate.

And cakes. And. Tarts.

And. Fruit cake. Easter eggs.

Meringues. Oh. Meringues.

I haven't had a meringue. In years. Oh.

Meringues. Oh. Melt in your mouth.

Literally. Melt in your mouth. Meringues.

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Chocolate eclairs. This is doing me no good. Whatsoever.

Thinking about all this stuff. But I'm just. Now started.

I can't stop. Biscuits. I do wonder.

If I was ever like. You know. Super rich.

I might. I don't know. Can you.

Here's the thing. Can you get. Vendor machines.

For ice creams. I don't mean. Ice cream.

That you get. From an ice cream van. Where it's all.

Got a flake in it. And stuff. But like.

Ice lollies. Because. I just think.

I would have that. I'd have. A vendor machine.

For everything. I wouldn't pay. For it.

I mean. I would pay for it. But I wouldn't.

Have to put coins in. But just. So that it kept.

Everything cool. You know. So if I decided.

Oh. I'll have a crunchy. I just press a button.

But it wouldn't be. Low down. Because of my back.

So it'd come down. Sort of like. More.

Shoulder. Level. Or I just employ someone.

Just to pick it up. For me. And hand it to me.

I suppose I could. Pay them to collect it. Couldn't I really.

If they're going to be paid. I do wonder though. You know.

If I was like. Super rich. The thing I could imagine.

Is I would become. The richer I became. The lazier.

Lazier. I would become. To the point of.

Not really doing. Anything. For myself.

Like nothing. I mean. I think the first.

Step would be. Getting a chef. So.

All my foods would be. All my foods. All my dinners.

Everything would be. Cooked for me. So that in itself.

Would be healthy. If I. You know. Ate healthy stuff.

So. I'd have a nutritionist. And a chef.

And make sure that. You know. I was eating.

Properly. So I'm guessing. That would be kind of.

The first step. And then to have. Someone to clean.

The mansion. I say mansion. Bungalow.

I wouldn't do. It sounds like. I'm just getting really old.

But. I'm just thinking of the future. I wouldn't get stairs.

If I was going to live somewhere. Now. It'd be a bungalow.

Everything on one level. Because. I'm just going to want to.

Take care of my back. So stairs are not going to. Really be a thing.

I'm not going to. Bother with stairs. Although I can do stairs.

But just. 20 years time. I don't know.

10 years time. I don't know. So.

I'll. Have a. Massive bungalow. Which would need to be cleaned.

But then. I think. I quite like the idea.

Of having. Robots. To do that.

You know. There's robots. That.

Like vacuum. Cleaning. Robots.

I quite like that. I quite like that for here. But it's not.

Really. Neat enough room. Because.

I mean the furniture. Get in the way. Of the robot.

Cleaning. Like those guys. Little.

Like little discs. Aren't they. Like.

Yeah. The furniture. And the pile.

Of mess. The piles. Of rubbish.

Rubble. It would just. Get in the way.

So that doesn't. Really work here. I think you need.

A degree. Of empty space. Or quite.

A large room. For. Such.

Things to be. Useful. So maybe.

Just get a cleaner. Or. Have.

A housemaid. And I realize. That term.

Is probably. Old fashioned. But.

You know. If I was going to have. Someone.

Coming into my house. To do stuff. Then.

It would. Yeah. It would be.

Whoever I chose. Wouldn't it. So.

I nearly said. Then. Unless of course.

I get married. Then she can do it all. And.

Then I realized. I shouldn't. Say that.

No. The thing is. If I did get married.

You know. In the next. Couple of months.

I. I wouldn't want. To be with someone. Who's doing everything.

All the time. Always busy. Clearing up.

And tidying. Because that's just annoying. Isn't it.

To be around. I'm just too messy. Imagine.

Someone. Tidying up. And cleaning up.

After you. Literally. You know.

You put your. Cup of tea down. And it's gone.

Where's the tea gone. I was washing. The cup up.

I haven't finished. The tea yet. But it's only dribbling.

The bottom. I hadn't. Finished.

The tea. Yeah. Stop.

I. I had that happen. With a. With a girlfriend. Once.

I knew. Right then. That the relationship.

Was doomed. Doomed. Like.

Why are you taking. My tea. I think.

It's because. Some people. Don't realise.

That. Tea is. Quite okay.

Cold. I drink tea. Cold.

I'm not bothered. By that. I don't drink it.

Tea. The only thing I can do is. I live in part of the house and then I've moved to a different part of house have replica rooms replica parts get a whole everything the same we know what we're going to means Jason I know I know And then when I go to the different part the house then the cleaner I can come in and do all that tidying up in that part maybe what once a week move to a different part and just have that rotation yeah or once a month maybe oh I think the idea maybe is

to never have to see them I've realized I get on better with people that I don't speak to I don't know why that's funny but it's much easier to just wave to somebody from a distance when you actually stop and talk to them you've broken through that barrier of just being a wavy associate a wavy neighbor a neighbor that waves to a neighbor that actually speaks and it's hard to go back to just waving after that you know I mean I suppose I mean you can still wave the other side

of the park but with Vinnie his nanny right I'm not going to say the word but nanny t-r-e-e-e-t-z so he absolutely adores her he was in a house the other day and she adores him so whenever she sees us in the park she shouts out Vinnie Vinnie Vinnie and we hear her voice and I look up and it's fine if she's near you know if she's like just near so I can actually see her and not that I can't see her from a distance but I know it's her from a

voice I can't see her face from a distance but the thing is if she's close to him I just walk up and Vinnie will go and say hello get all excited but the other day I was the other side of the park and I heard just heard her shouting Vinnie and he gets excited and he's pulling me for about two minutes to get to where she is and my back's hurting it's like so I'm trying to walk a bit faster trying to stay on the pavement because the grass near where

she was was very long and wet I was going to say watery then I wasn't stuttering although I did stutter wet but I was gonna say watery but then I thought wet is a better description really isn't it who says watery grass and he was trying to rush me and I felt like she was like really egging me on to be a bit faster like she was watching a horse race it's like she wanted Vinnie to win but come on come on Vinnie's dad you can do it you can give

him a give him a run for his money come on I was like no I'm not in a race I'm just literally trying to just keep up with him but it's hard because he's a very fast runner compared to me but then all animals are fast runners compared to me I think even a sloth would probably call me a slow coach slow coach where does that come from I used to be a thing you call someone a slow coach I remember when I was junior school I used to walk back

from school would finish at half three I think and I'd get back home by about five and it was probably 20 minute walk but I walked slowly and what I did is because I like to sing to myself and just think about things just ponder ponder life and you know just try and figure things out figure out why I'm like the way I am and you know which might be weird for nine-year-old but that's what I was doing and I'd walk back and you know because I spent all day with

other kids I didn't really want to see them anymore I'd you know too much of a good thing and all that maybe so I what I would do is because if I I could walk slowly but the problem is if there was people behind me I felt very awkward because I didn't know kind of where to go I felt a pressure to speed up my walking and then have to pretend of needed to do my shoelaces up or just purposely walk into dog poo so I had to stop and get

it off my shoe just you know anything just to make it walk past me or sit on a wall and pretend to be invisible Wow oh bloody see yeah I I figured that the slower I went the more people would have left the school so the less people would be walking behind me so that way I wouldn't feel uncomfortable it was a little bit annoying when there's people had detention or that you had to get a huge amount of detention in junior school but when kids were maybe staying behind for

lessons you know sort of maybe music lessons or guitar lessons stuff like that so I kind of like oh should I wait until they finish their lessons before I leave and then there was a couple of teachers who used to walk down the same road to get home I was like why can't you get a car I was like oh just I wish if I'd had the money I'd have given them given them the money to get themselves a car so I didn't have to sort of wait for them to

go past me so anyway that's what I used to do I used to just like to walk on my own it wasn't far to get to the road was very very long road so I say to where I reckon was a half hour walk personally even at normal speed and then there was another part of the road then around so it wasn't like a difficult journey so much yeah it wasn't difficult but I just I don't know it was a long journey but I guess I've made it longer because I

was taking you know my time and I remember once I was walking down the road I remember roughly what part of the road I was walking down when I realized that I was walking with my toes my toes curled upwards not upwards but downwards you know sort of underneath my feet a bit like you had your hand flat and you just made your hand into like a little bit of a fist not a whole fist just a little bit just turned your feet around like that you have two toes around

these fingers around is it pigeon toad I don't know but this I used to walk around like that and I hadn't noticed it until that moment and I realized how uncomfortable it was but I tell you what was more uncomfortable than that and don't say what walking on nails no it was to try not to walk like that because I was used to it I don't know why I walked like that why so why didn't anyone else notice maybe I only did it when I was wearing shoes maybe I only

did it when I was at school I don't know couldn't answer that but I was walking around with my toes curled in so over the next few days weeks whatever I gradually managed to relax my toes so I could walk and allow my toes just to bend normally walk normally or just walk how I perceived to be normal and I thought about that you know it's like what why why was I doing that and then I thought why do I not like why why do I feel so awkward when there's

someone behind me on the pavement so that I need I feel I need to speed up or cross the road or find an excuse to get out of their way so they could overtake me I'm still the same now with that I can't stand it if someone's behind me and they're walking at the same pace it's like no I have to I mean I'm usually with Vinnie wherever I go these days so he's a good excuse and he can we can go into the grass to do a wee and sometimes

he doesn't want to sometimes he gets to be embarrassed you know dad stop doing that we're near a school but like if he gets me away from the people that are on the pavement but then another thing I noticed that in the park it's only a little park but I've noticed that people walk along the pavement towards me and it it seems like they expect me to get out of their way and to walk on the grass which for the last I don't know five months has been wet yeah I've

had wet feet pretty much every time I go out and take him out not every time but most times now I'm not saying that you know I should people should get out of my way I think I'm looking for more like an in-between solution you know ideally Vinnie goes on the grass I walk on the pavement and the other person walks on the pavement yeah people just don't get out the way which is I don't quite know why I remember once I was going through a moody period this was 2013

and I was on my way to work and I was literally walking at people not like purposely at them but I was walking I was sticking to one part on the pavement and I was walking ahead and everybody had well everyone did get out of my way because I was in such a grump I mean there's no point to it I definitely didn't win any friends that day I didn't win a prize there is it was a bit pointless really but anyway yeah that was weird little bit it's strange but

then just thinking back to some of the stuff that I did when I was a kid I did some strange things I remember once I was at my uncle's who lived in Dover and he was really wealthy very successful so he had this huge house swimming pool in the garden massive garden all this stuff but he was also really generous as well lovely really nice just really nice person and he I was playing with it one of his Meccano sets because he had loads of toys he had a daughter and

he was like a big kid himself he just loved computer games and this is like in the early 80s yeah look he had a lot of computers so the computer games would be actual computer games not consoles although he did have like Atari and all that stuff and I remember I was playing with his Meccano and there was a gap in the floorboards and I started dangling a piece of the Meccano above the floorboard gap now every piece of this Meccano set was there it was all needed every screw everything

in order to make the I don't know what it was a helicopter or a car or something it wasn't a big piece of just you know everything was necessary and it's like I couldn't I don't know why I did it but I dropped it through the hole and my brother caught me doing it and I don't know why I did it it was just very very strange a very strange thing indeed there's no no logical sense there's no benefit I didn't want to do anything bad because you know I've really

liked my uncle didn't look like I was trying to punish him because he hadn't given me a he only gave me one Cornish pasty when I wanted two although that did happen so maybe hmm he did tell me off once I think I might have just been verbally cheeky which I had occasion to be yeah I don't know don't don't don't don't know it's kind of strange really just just trying to think of some of the things some of the weird weird things that I did and I've talked about turning

into a werewolf haven't I so there was that experience which was strange so strange things when I first moved in to I used to eat daddy long legs when I was in Newcastle I don't know why that was maybe someone told me that they were really it's weird maybe maybe someone had told me that they had the strongest venom but just weren't able to release it maybe I do knows but I used to eat them I don't know why I don't know and they were everywhere I didn't just maybe I

was hungry that'd be weird wouldn't it imagine being so hungry to have to eat daddy long legs no I'm sure sure that wasn't the case I never ate much anyway I was so tiny I've never really been able to eat a lot in one go just never never had even like a burger and chips or a pizza I can't I never eat the whole pizza I never generally never eat a whole meal ever and I'm a slow eater as well apart from when I'm not I mean if I'm like super

hungry then I possibly will eat everything but I really get to that point generally I probably would if I had some kind of yeah thinking back now even then because I've had a lot of physical jobs in the past a lot of very physical you know things I did loaded lorries working in bakeries things that were very physically tiring and I still yeah I'd eat but still wasn't like didn't have like huge huge appetite for food and I was so skinny back then well clearly I was strong enough to do

the job that everybody else was doing so I wasn't I wasn't weak but I had no no fat on me whatsoever no matter what I did no matter what I ate you know there was a time during I'd say about 1993 ish I was working in this place so I'd have my breakfast I go to work I would have yeah start work about 7 then about 10 o'clock we'd have a break then about 10 o'clock I'd go and have a cooked meal so they'd have a canteen so a fried breakfast

probably and then there was a period when they'd make me sandwiches so I could eat sandwiches in between as well and I'd take these nutrient drinks in which were in these weird they're almost like baked bean can type containers and you'd pull the lid off you know it's like baked beans where you pull the thing off the top and I think they were called nutrient and they had all these I don't know what was in them but I used to drink blimey a drink a few a day really trying to

put weight on but actively eating and basically all it was that the more I ate the more I used the toilet that really was all that happened and I couldn't get it because I was physically working out with the job I was lifting heavy boxes continuously I was you know physically very active so I thought that in itself would combined with eating like twice as much food as I was before would activate some kind of muscular growth but it just didn't seem to I mean it's weird like my arms are

twice as big as they were twice as muscular as they were when I was in my 20s and I do hardly anything now I do weights if I can and but you know I'm not lugging about anything not lugging out heavy heavy boxes I'm not emptying lorries full of various things not that I ever felt weak back then but it's just in some ways I feel stronger now than I did when I was in my 20s physically I'm definitely you know I'm probably really not and I'm pretty sure I'd I

might have a little bit of struggling to to do what I used to do back then you know I don't think I'd fare very well unloading lorries full of lands and off all and you know well I definitely couldn't because of my back but even just without my back being a little bit dodgy I might find it difficult but then technically I suppose that's just nature isn't it you know not supposed to be able to 30 years later do something or 35 years later do something I couldn't do before unless

you go back to when I was 36 so I could do a hell of a lot more than I could do when I was one yeah but then there's gonna be some things that I can do now that I couldn't do when I was 21 I could definitely moan for longer but I've always been quite good at moaning I couldn't what else can I do I can fall asleep really easily like really easily and when I was in my 20s I didn't just I mean I was to be fair apart

from the weekends when I would stay up all night if I could during the week when I was working including if I was doing overtime on a Saturday I would go to bed a reasonable hour so I always made sure I was getting at least seven hours sleep generally although I went through periods when I do five hours and I'll be fine not realize I you know I was going through like manic phases I didn't know it at the time all I knew is I was going to bed well I

didn't want to go to bed and I'd wake up and I'd wanted to get out of bed and I felt brilliant and you know I went through those phases but didn't know I didn't understand what was going on then it was other times when it was the complete opposite I do have this memory it's quite a nice memory there's a couple of nice memories and they all kind of seem to be in this one particular house that I lived in in Stratford it was a grotty old house it was and

I lived upstairs in the attic it was grim it's a grim house but it's 40 pound a week I was earning a hundred pound a week so you know I was making do and it was there was for quite a lot of time when I was living there I was the only person that was lodging there even though there's a room next to me so during those years of me being there on my own I had to handle that because I was on my own didn't have to do with anybody

else apart from a lame lady who could be a handful of times I think she thought she was in the Mafia she was Italian and she's really you know heavily into I don't know she loved her opera and stuff and I remember we sat there and I sat in a living room she introduced me she introduced me to opera so she let me go into her living room and sit there and we watched the TV and she she basically explained everything that was going on for what seemed like nine days

solid and I couldn't escape I really felt like I was trapped there because I didn't want to watch and why would I want to watch an opera I mean if I was gonna watch an opera I've been I might have been to an opera once but it would be in English so I could understand what was being said otherwise it's kind of pointless to me personally I'm sure it means a lot to other people but for me if I don't know what's being said why you know it's lost it's lost

on me so I'm not saying that there's songs that are in other languages that I don't like because there are there's there's a lot of famous songs that are non-english songs that are just hugely popular and you know really really good songs that I also like the Macarena that's one so does anyone remember Will Smith's daughter singing I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth

I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth and all she did was just she whipped her hair back and forth literally that's what she did I don't know if she had other people in the video as well but I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair and it was a hit there was another foreign song it was Russian and it was two Russian girls and I think it got banned in a lot of Western countries because they kissed or something like that

I don't know and you know I searched it out I wanted to watch the video just I like to be informed yes it's a big news story I like to find out what's going on instead of just believing what I hear I want to see the footage I want to just make sure that they really did kiss I'm not sure if they did but it was I think it was banned and it was like that yeah it's that kind of singing all the little people in your head in your head

and I think it was kind of mixed Russian with some English and Barcelona that was a good one wasn't it because that had Freddie Mercury but it also had another lady another lady a lady who sung in foreign so that was Italian or Spanish I don't know a different you know different language so that was a good one and then of course the king of all of the the foreign non-english I mean everyone's foreign ain't they to someone else I'm foreign to the majority of the world I'm foreign to my

own family so Pavarotti it's probably and you got Jimmy Jiminy Domingo or whatever all those those ones as well but Pavarotti was the king wasn't he at the time when he was around do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do and I don't think anything that he sung was in English was it see what I struggle with sometimes is if he because Michael Jackson sung quite a few of his songs in Spanish you might not know about this but he did Spanish versions of his songs because you may not know this but in America there's a lot

of Spanish people living in America and also he was I mean he was worldwide loved wasn't he but in the Latin the Latin countries they adored him so he released a few songs in Spanish I think I just kind of helped loving you it was like something like that and didn't oh Knight Rider Knight Rider he didn't he used to release songs in German because he was a big star in Germany wasn't he Baywatch Knight Rider Baywatch man and I think he used to do both English and German versions of

his songs yeah just trying to think of some really old parodies Mish Mika parodies or the parodies or the taxi or a taxi on taxi taxi something like that I think that was all in there that was all in foreign wasn't I think was it Spanish or Mexican or something I don't know friend it was was it French or my taxi or my taxi so I remember that was a long time ago did you know who did she marry was it Johnny Depp or my taxi or my taxi I think

she married Johnny Depp Tommy not Johnny Tommy let's have a look on taxi song taxi driver no it's not the one what was her name taxi okay if I put in French French taxi song French taxi song Michelle Paradis paradise Vanessa paradise Jolie taxi okay so if we go to Jolie taxi I'll be interested to see what the lyrics were to see if if I can understand any of them so I'm pretty sure Vanessa Paradise she married Johnny Depp at some point why is it taking me off there why man

honestly the Internet it's just you press the wrong button and it takes you somewhere else right it keeps taking me to pictures I don't want it was weird because there was a time when the Internet wouldn't take me to pictures I did want 30 years ago oh yeah Johnny Depp from 1998 to 2012 she's younger than me she's 53 oh so she got two children include Lily Rose Depp okay so 1998 so what did she do before then because she's 53 she would have left school when she was for two

years of two years after me so 87 97 16 so he's 27 when she met Johnny Depp well when she married him I don't know if they married did they get married though I don't know oh my taxi it try and let me see if I can get the the lyrics I wonder if Johnny Depp could speak French does anybody know it's almost like I'm waiting for an answer isn't it well you're not gonna get an answer here oh here we go Joe Lataxi song by Vanessa Paradise Barbess Buenvenu Shez

Joe Joe Lataxi il va passe par tout il marche passe au soda son saxo duen connect tout les roues par tous les petites barres tous les coins noirs elle est la sienne et ses pontes crue brilliant dans sa cousse la musique rue a Joe c'est la rumba la ruxe rock or Mambo Joe Lataxi qu'est-ce que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est

que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est

que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c'est que c' it Xavier Cuckat Joe the taxi it Wymer Sumac Joe Joe Joe Joe

Joe Joe Joe Joe really Joe the taxi yes yes Savvy Lee rum or Mambo and bought a large Joe the taxi it less Marachi Joe the taxi Joe Joe Joe it let cha-cha-cha Joe Joe Joe Joe the taxi Joe Joe Joe Joe it let cha-cha-cha Joe Joe Joe that's a Joe Joe Joe Joe that's a Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe I reckon it kind of just faded out from there yeah sorry

so that was that song what's the Pavarotti one the Pavarotti song in fact let's have a look what's in the news no I'm not gonna do anything weird I'm not gonna look at even any of the stuff that's in the news but just some of the other things some of the more palatable let's have a look I'll tell you what's on what day is it's a 14th the 20th of this month it is the Peaky Blinders movie oh I know I know oh I know I mean that's just like it's

on Netflix and it's already in the cinemas but then so they released it I think two weeks before in the cinemas and then there it's coming out and by the way I'm watching boxing while I'm talking I'm not it's not on there's no volume it's just on in the background but this is boxer called something O'Leary and I've never seen he wears glasses not in not in the ring obviously but he wears glasses and he doesn't look the part but when he's in the ring he really is the part and

it's weird because even in his photographs when they you know when they show the photographs of the two fighters who's on next and stuff he's always got glasses on and I don't think I've ever seen a boxer with their standard picture wearing glasses I've seen loads of loads of boxers that wear glasses like or sunshades but you've seen I've seen boxers with glasses on I've never seen one with like in a picture like their standard picture I don't know I just found it weird not that he wears glasses I wear glasses and I'm not weird I get moaned at when I got home from school junior school where have you been I mean where have I been?

I've been to school haven't I? where else would I have been? what do you think I've been I went to London and I was selling football tickets I'm now a ticket towel yeah I made six grand there you are dad here's 20 pence 20 pence that's your commission no I was at school why'd you take so long to get home school finished at half three I used to get home later than my dad who used to come home from work it you know sometimes I wouldn't get back till half five and they'd be waiting to eat their dinner waiting for me to

get back remember them saying one day like if you was if it was a few more days without you coming back we might have to call the police for a few more weeks but I like being on my own I like just walking down the road singing to myself thinking things through working things out trying to just also trying to calm myself down which is something that I now do regularly I do I spend quite a lot of my day calming myself down because it's something that I just need to

do keep myself relaxed relaxing my body relaxing my mind and I actively do that every day and I didn't used to I do think that I feel the benefit for it I mean even when I was at home when I was like 9 10 I remember I used to lay down on my bed and listen to some music and it used to relax me maybe it was Joseph and the Technicolor wardrobe I would listen to that and like relax me I close my eyes turn back the curtain it's quite a

horrible story that isn't it really it's kind of it's supposed to have meaning but I don't I think some of the meaning in the story is lost I mean what I got out of that story is don't show don't show favoritism to one of your children that's not fair on the other kids that wasn't part of the story that wasn't I mean that wasn't part of the meaning that was supposed to be shared but that's something I took on like yeah if you alienate other kids and play favorite for one

that eventually they're gonna turn on that kid which they did they turned on their brother Joseph but then it got really dark it's like you know it's like okay your dad or you know our dad bought you a nice coat but I think they overreacted I personally I think that was an overreaction I mean get a nice coat put paint on it stick it to the ceiling you says toilet paper I don't know anything like that don't don't bury him in a hole you know just there's a bit over the

top just a little bit I close my eyes look up the curtain and know for certain I'm my dad's favorite son and there was that degree of arrogance wasn't there from him Joseph that never seemed to leave him it's like yeah I'm daddy's favorite yeah I'm his favorite he loves me more than you and you can imagine it he's in the hole and they're walking away last chance just be be nice just just like no I'm his favorite yeah yeah he was saying that as they were walking away it's like

I didn't have to leave you here don't care yeah I'm gonna be fine I'm gonna be the confidant of a king one day I'm the chosen one just leave and then and then even when he was a slave and he was whatever he was like so full of himself wasn't he I can see dreams I can tell your future from a dream imagine that imagine being in prison and the king you know the king you say to the king look I will let me out of here and I'll read your

fortune okay then let's get the tea leaves out no I don't need tea leaves I can just dream it that's how good I am haha I used to have a coat much better than yours I don't I just came across as a bit arrogant I close my eyes I don't know I was on tik-tok the other day and people arguing about religion like they do I don't know why it's just I can't think of anything less interesting to argue about but he someone said to the other have you heard the

parable about the Good Samaritan and the other bloke said I'm not into religion he wasn't the one I argued about religion there's a few people but he was just on the panel and he said I don't not into religion and I was shouting at the screen we talking about you have to copy into religion to know what this Good Samaritan parable is surely I mean as it's changed us let's change the the question did you go to school I mean it's it's and then I remembered I realized I didn't know

what the story was because it is something about a bloke that does a good turn isn't it is that someone at the end in a road or something he picks him up or I don't know no where is someone's in a road and he says you've got any food and the person that was walking past said no you've got anywhere I can stay he said no is there any physical help you can do to help me he said no he said is there any way you can help me he said

yeah here's a telephone number you can call me up we can talk on the phone well how's that gonna help it's good it's a good service you can talk talk things through and you feel better yeah but I'm hungry yeah but you still feel better talking I've got the energy to talk I'm hungry and besides I haven't got a phone oh you'll find a phone it's a free phone call it doesn't cost anything yeah but phones cost I can't go into the local I shop phone thing and say oh can

I have one of your phones but I'm not gonna keep it I just want to phone up a free number because I'm hungry I don't know that's my that's my version of the story I don't know if that's how it worked I applied to be a Samaritan they turned me they turned me down they turned me down apparently I didn't didn't come across well can you imagine the embarrassment of saying that out loud I've failed an interview with the Samaritans it sounds even worse now I say out loud because I've

never said it out loud before I failed an interview to work with Samaritans to work free with them not only that at the time I was studying counseling a university I was nearly 40 years old and they didn't want me it's weird isn't it I can understand it now but back then I was I was kind of nearly nice back then I was pretending to be nice back then oh dear what am I waffling on about I've got no idea on that note I think I'm just gonna go I've just

been blagging blobbing on so thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy be gentle with yourself you deserve to feel safe lots of love bye what on earth was that it was just a bunch of nonsense a bunch of nonsense I tell you it's like I didn't even know what I was saying