(Overnight Voice Only) #1572 Let me bore you to sleep Jason Newland 13th March 2026 - Copy - Copy

Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name's Jason Newland. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

This is Q&A Friday, but I have no questions. What am I gonna do? What do I normally say at this point? I do have a YouTube channel which you can view my videos and you can stream these podcasts. Also there's six versions of this recording will be available on all the major podcasts, posts, apps etc like Spotify and all of them Apple podcasts and stuff like that.

Also you can stream them all on my website which is jasonnewland.com or if you wanna and you feel a bit fruity you can go to jasonnewland.store and actually download all of my stuff. So lots of options there and I do also upload the recordings and Instagram and X when I remember. I do forget those sometimes because it takes ages to upload.

So what I do because you can't upload more than 59 minutes worth of a recording, well it's a video, so basically I download it from YouTube and then I cut it down to 59 minutes and upload it to TikTok etc. If you're listening on TikTok and you want to hear the whole thing, why would you? But if you want to hear the whole thing then you could go to my website and stream it there or you could go to YouTube and stream it there or you could download it and keep it forever and ever and ever and ever and you can imagine me signing the invisible audio.

Yeah and that's it.

So thanks for listening. I've got no questions. So I thought to myself what am I gonna do? I've got no questions.

What am I gonna do? I don't know what to do. And I thought before I start anything I'll just give you another update just in case people listening today didn't listen yesterday. You know just in case you didn't hear yesterday's recording.

So I had a few problems with the podcasts. They're pretty much all up and running again like normal. And also my website and stuff like that.

So it's pretty much back to normal again. It's just there's a few tweaks to make in order to get it all sorted. So let's have a look at my website.

Yeah so that's up to date as far as yesterday's recordings are on there. But it's not in order. Some of the other stuff is not in order.

So what I'll do is I'll refresh the podcast that's on there because there are a lot of recordings. Many many many many many. In fact if I look at it there should be about wow.

So the hypnosis for sleeping deeply which is the podcast I've got shared on my website. It's got 3330 episodes. Blimey.

It's quite a lot isn't it. And today's Let Me Bore You To Sleep is number 1572. Wowzers.

And it's Friday the 13th. No. Of March 2026.

So I've been out three times with the with my little baby boy there. So that's it for me. I'm not going out anymore today.

And it's now six minutes to 6 p.m. in the evening on this. It's still light outside. I've never been so excited about the light until this year.

I don't know why that is. I just maybe I was last year. Maybe if I listen to my podcasts this time last year I was saying the same thing potentially.

But I'm enjoying the lighter evenings. I really am. Because it means I mean although I did take him out about five o'clock.

I could take him out now and it's still light enough to take him out. If we're out for like 20 30 minutes. You know it's definitely dusk.

It's not dark dark but it's definitely you know it's about time to come home. Because I would say sundown is pretty much happening as we speak. It's still light isn't it after sundown and then it's sort of half an hour later it's dark kind of.

I think. So I was looking I could see the sun going down when I was out but it wasn't all the way down because I couldn't you know you know it's down. If you're in a beach you can see it sizzling as it goes into the sea can't you.

As the sea cools it down. So I can't see that from here because I don't live near a beach. I used to like that.

I think I'd quite like to live near a beach again. Yeah I think that would be quite groovy. But I don't know.

I don't know. Do you know? Would I? Yeah I think I would. I think it'd be nice.

But it's just finding somewhere that's nice to live and this is a locally this where I live now is an okay place to live. The buildings are not a lot a lot nicer now than it used to be. The area is a lot quieter than it used to be mostly.

So there's a you know less traffic. But there's no there's no beach. There's no beach.

Not for a long way. The nearest beach is it's not I mean it's not a long way away if I had a car. It's probably half an hour away.

Maybe 50 minutes away if I had a car. But it's a long walk and it's also a long way in a bus or on a train you know. Because with trains like okay get to that town in 20 minutes.

It takes me half an hour to get to the train station and then when I get there it's another 20 minutes to get where I'm going. So you know I mean so that 20 minutes actually turns into an hour and 20 minutes. No it turns into yeah it does.

Yeah 20 30 40 50 60 hour and 10 minutes. Sorry. He can't even work out stuff in his head.

So yeah it's kind of nice to be back doing podcast again even though there's only a short break. I mean it's only a few days since I did the last one. Like six days or something before I did yesterday's one.

It was wow yeah. So I need to sort out the website because it's a little bit muddled. So the 6th of March is when I did the Q&A Friday which was last Friday.

Then I did yesterday so it's only one two three four five five days. Only five days where I didn't make a recording. I suppose it just seems longer when I'm used to doing them quite regularly.

You know I mean. So what I decided because I've got no questions at all from the because I posted. I did do it quite late so I posted it yesterday I think.

So it didn't give anyone enough time although two people did like like the post I posted. So maybe you can leave a question as well as liking it if you like just for future references. It doesn't have to be anything interesting it could just be.

I can't even think of a question for myself. That's bad isn't it. I don't know.

I don't know. No I really don't know. So I posted it a little bit a little bit late on my Jason Newland's boring group.

Facebook group. So that's why I've kind of not got any questions. If I post it on a Monday normally I have some questions you know by by Friday.

Or by the Sunday I'll have some questions. So you know but then I have to pass it over to next week. It's.

It is what it is what it is what it was. So what I've done is I have posted gone to chat GPT. Hi.

I've got to do my Q&A Friday today but not one of my fabs has asked. Well no one's asked the question. Please can you ask me 10 questions and chat GPT.

Then I went to the toilet and I came back and chat GPT said of course here are 10 Q&A questions. 10 friendly Q&A questions. I don't think I've ever had an unfriendly Q&A question.

Shall I ask for that just see what it comes up with. And your listeners might enjoy hearing you talk about on Q&A Friday. They're a mix of personal light and relaxing topics that fit the great style of your Let Me Bore You To Sleep episode.

Ask me. Ask me 10 rude questions. I don't know if it will though.

10 rude it's much harder trying to type with one hand. Because I don't want to like other microphones kind of quite close to my left hand. Here are 10 cheeky slightly rude but still playful questions you could answer on your Q&A Friday.

Number one Jason do you ever worry that your voice is so boring that even you might fall asleep halfway through the recording. Well it has happened on numerous occasions. Now it's more likely to happen when I've been doing a very very very slow hypnosis session as opposed to the Let Me Bore You To Sleep ones.

But there have been times when I've fallen asleep doing these and you never get to hear the sleeping part. You never get to know that I've done that because I edit it. I have to really really go all out to edit it to take out the snoring and the the big pauses and stuff.

I mean there was one time that I did a Q&A Friday. Well okay it might not have been a Q&A Friday but it was a you know Let Me Bore You To Sleep. And I don't remember even answering or even talking.

I don't know what I talked about and I thought at the end of it when I woke up like an hour and a half two hours later. So I was in and out of consciousness and I thought there's no point. There's no point even bothering with it.

I might as well just delete it and start again when I'm a bit more awake. And then I thought well you don't know there might be some stuff on there. But the thing is when I'm going in and out of consciousness when I'm doing a recording especially the hypnosis ones.

The thing is when I do go in and out of consciousness and like fall asleep daydreaming then coming back. Sometimes when I'm talking it's not there's no sense. Now some people would argue well how would you how would we even notice if you started talking nonsensical blabber blabber.

Would we even notice it which is a little bit rude. And I thought well this would be interesting to listen back to it. To see if I did actually stick to the conversation.

And weirdly enough I did ish ish. There were times when I didn't but pretty much I was able to come back. But there were times when I'd just be like yeah and I went and got the lawnmower.

There'd be a long pause and urine went everywhere. Sometimes I'd be mumbling. It's not my owl.

I haven't touched the bike saddle. The amount of times I used to get accused of touching people's bike saddles. When I was a kid like oh you've raised the bike saddle or you've you've put the bike saddle down because I was a lot shorter than my brothers just so you could ride your brother's bike.

I mean I said of course I didn't of course I haven't. They never believed me. Yeah they believed my brother.

Why would they believe his lies but not mine. It's not fair. Hello baby.

Now we want a standoff between me and Finn. I put food out and he's refusing to eat it. So I'm refusing to give him anything else but he's still refusing to eat it aren't you.

And he's staring at me right now. I know you're giving me kisses. I know it's lovely.

And his tail. He's got his tail wagging as well so he's clearly happy. But I can't give you.

You had some dry food earlier. You've got food that's been down there. And even though it's been down there a few hours.

That's not an excuse for him not to eat it because I've seen what he eats off the floor when we're out. I could tell you some horror stories which I won't. I mean there's one particular story which I might have kind of partly told in the past and that involved the garden and the toilet.

And he's gone into my pocket and now he's pulling out some toilet tissue. Okay like I've got toilet tissue. It's to wipe my glasses on or maybe blow my nose or something.

It's not in case I can't be bothered to go to the toilet. Why are you licking my arm? Now it's being all romantic. I sent my um step-mom a Mother's Day card and some flowers.

Because I know it's not till Sunday but I just I got I got my money went to my bank account on Wednesday and I thought I'm going to get it now before the money goes out the account. Because most of my bills well everything actually apart from food is paid by direct debit. So every bill um running this service costs me at least 200 pound a month.

So everything like for the podcast which is like the website, the stores 40 quid a month, 30 quid a month, 40 quid a month. Chat GBT is what is that 20 or 30 40 quid I don't know. So altogether it's over 200 but it all comes out by direct debit.

So I don't kind of it would be make sense to keep track of it. But then things like TV license, council tax, um electricity gas bill that's the biggest bill I have. That comes out water bill just all the normal stuff.

And sometimes I'll think like the other day god this is weird. My neighbor I was going to lend her like 20 quid because she had no money till the next day when she got her money. And I went into my bank I like put my phone you know my phone with me went into my bank.

And I had like minus six pound and I had 200 pound in there a few days earlier. But it's just all gone out on bills and various things I have to pay for. I was like what's going on? Absolutely ridiculous.

Well it's not ridiculous it's just it is what it is isn't it it's just standard. How much do I pay for chat gp2 because I use it regularly so um per settings what is my plan? Oh wait a minute. Settings plus oh okay copied your id to clipboard no.

Why is he not telling me what I'm paying? Settings notification app schedule account account okay your plan auto-news to march 21st. It doesn't say how much I'm paying though. Keeping that a secret for me why? Let's say general maybe it is nope.

How very very weird. Turn on to a star group chat no. Okay so I think it's.

Unless there's receipts settings personalization upgrade plan. All right I'm paying 20 20 pound a month for the plus the business is. That's my current plan business is 30 a month but I'm not business and the pro is 200 a month but that's when you do loads and loads and loads of things.

I use chat gpt. To help me with some ideas for images and stuff like that or to help me to produce an image mainly so I'll have an idea and I think well. Can you put that together please? But also ideas for other things and to research things because I'll give you an idea actually.

There's something recently that I was struggling with went on chat gpt and it figured it out. I won't read all the stuff I look for because some of it's a bit. It's not weird nothing weird but just like news.

Yeah about stuff that's gone in the news and I don't really want to talk about that stuff. Um newspaper apps for windows I was looking through that. Oh okay this is useful so I use moon pig to send cards and gifts to family members.

So I ordered the stuff and then at the end when it come to like paying for it. It came to like 40 pound or something. I put in I went to chat gpt and I said oy chat gpt.

What did I ask it? Please find me a relevant moon pig discount code. UK that works and doesn't involve going directly to their website. The reason I put that bit at the end is because quite often they'll have.

You'll have a discount code on a on a website saying you know discount for moon pig 20% off whatever and then when you click on it it takes you to the website. I just needed an actual code that I could put in. And I probably just I probably explained that over explained it I do apologize if I did.

Actually I don't apologize but you know what I mean like I've been pretending to apologize. So it says here are some moon pig. Moonpig.com here are some moon pig UK discount codes currently circulating that you can try directly at checkout.

Right so codes worth trying. Apple welcome not app welcome 30% off your first order via the moon pig app. No good to me because I've been with them for years.

30 off too so 30% off when buying two items. So I thought yeah baby I had a little a little bit of a stirring when I saw that I thought. And yeah I feel a bit horny I'll admit it so I just thought yeah I'll go for that one.

But then when I went to moon pig and I put the code in they said it's for two cards. It's not just two items and I was just buying one card. So it'd be no point.

So it wasn't going to give me 30% off the whole thing which would have been a welcome. Gift to me really. And then the third one was reminder 20.

20% off card orders often linked to reminder features but sometimes works generally. And then there was some others two for one. Up to 30% off selected card orders and then exam results.

I don't think I'm gonna I don't fit into that category do I. So what I did. I let them know because the way I figure it is yeah other people are going to be looking for this. Similar information.

So I've given feedback because the reminder 20 worked. So the reminder 20, 20% off card orders. It didn't give me 20% off the flowers.

But still I got a discount. Or did I get a discount for the flowers? I don't know I can't remember. But it worked so what I've done is I've let them know.

So chat gpt. I wish they could call themselves something a bit easier to say. I find myself tripping over my own tongue.

Chat gpt. Chat gpt. It's I let them know which one worked so they could.

And then it says oh there's some other ones that might work. Like why did you wait? anyway so I thought I'd give feedback and then they can give that to future people and someone else can benefit because I'm built like that you see it's all about passing it passing the help helping others especially if I'm helped help someone else to be helped by someone else that's been helped by me that probably doesn't even make sense let's have a look indoor setup description no in remaining was that I stand okay so this was one that I was really struggling with okay let me tell you what this is

I'm setting up my personal domain name to my Shopify account it asks me to DNS and add a shop verification code problem whenever I do this and whatever so basically what was happening my Shopify account which I've had for years and years and years I haven't been registered with them for the whole time but I've had that account and they always keep all the recordings and everything on there for at least two years so I've never gone more than like a year without being on there so I signed up with

it again I already had the Jason Ulan store I've had it for a year now that domain name it well it'd be a year in June I think March May May or June so I was trying to connect it no wait a minute what am I doing no that's not what I was doing it was yeah no I was trying to connect I was trying to connect my that's weird what we're doing adding the record in the wrong section okay now what I was trying to do I remember now I

was trying to connect my Jason Ulan dot-com to the Shopify and I've done that before even though I've kind of played with the idea like I quite like the idea of the Jason Ulan dot store being separate that's where everything I've got is my archive where you can download everything that I've done ever done eventually it'll all be on there the Jason Ulan dot-com is it's based on my most recent stuff you know it's basically my podcast which still needs a bit of tweeting and tweaking and stuff so I was

having problems connecting it and it turned out that it I was doing this for hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours this conversation went on with ChatGPT and there is an issue it just wouldn't work it's basically the I think the DNS server I don't know what that stands for that I've got Jason Ulan dot-com on it's been with the company I've had it with I've had it for 26 years I think it might be less it might be 20 years but it's over 20 years and

I know it's definitely over 20 years I'm sure I had it since 2000 but it might have been later maybe 2004 so I've had sort of the Jason Ulan dot-com had for over 20 years and it's quite an old company and I think their their engine their server doesn't necessarily connect with every website anyway I was having problems with it and yeah in the end I just like now I just just didn't continue what I'm doing so that was not a good example of something where ChatGPT actually helped I mean

it did help it tried to help but it was oh and Netflix recommended yes stuff like this is what I do as well if I was to watch just one Netflix show ever what would you recommend and it came up with Breaking Bad I don't know if I agree with that mind you it's Netflix isn't it so it's kind of some of the other stuff I've seen Breaking Bad is not even on Netflix is it?

I thought Breaking Bad was HBO I mean I love the show I did so I thought I just put watched because I'm very impatient with ChatGPT there's no small talk and I can't get on with the next thing although I do try and be pleasant I try and be courteous because you know we don't really know what's gonna happen with AI do we we don't know I want it to like when AI takes over the world I want to be like friend I'm your friend remember yeah but you never said

please or thank you did you you're very demanding and I could see what you were doing through the camera of your laptop like just come on let's move on and if you want something equally gripping but more psychological mind hunter yeah actually that would suit me although I found something I think it's Netflix it's awful it's really funny but it's really really dark humor and I did watch it before like maybe a few episodes and probably before it was on Netflix maybe when it's on TV and it's 20 years old

but it's really bad someone is really it's it's kind of not obviously horrible that makes sense it's not loud it's I don't know it's almost like Sam Kinison you think of Sam Kinison or Dennis Leary or Andrew Dice Clay comedian if you're in America or whatever like being delivered by emo Phillips or Stephen Wright to like a couple of other famous comedians there's another Stephen Wright is quite a big name in the UK but it's in it he's infamous for stuff he's done but this is Stephen Wright or Steve Wright

he's the he's like deadpan comedian in America and got long curly hair we used to have anyway yeah I mean I should look up to what it is but I can't remember it's it's something I'll remember it another time I'll mention it then it says if you want layered philosophical and mind-bending one dark probably the most intricate time-travel story ever made and if you want something powerful but emotionally warmer the crown no I can't thing is I did watch a little bit of the crown and it was good but I

just there's something in me that refuses to watch those kinds of programs and it's not I'm not anti-royal or anything I just I just don't find it interesting but then when I watched the crown like the first episode I found it interesting it's weird it's a weird one I just I don't know don't know how to explain it anyway so oh that's that's something I looked into and then I said oh I did another one here and said for my YouTube channel blimey that is a long one as well my

YouTube channel was called Let Me Bore You To Sleep slash or dash Jason Newland I do hypnosis videos and Let Me Bore You To Sleep vids everything's based on helping people to sleep Sleo I got instead of O instead of P can you suggest a better name Jason your current name already carries weight let you let me boy you sleep is memorable different and very you it's playful disarming and stands out in a sea of generic deep sleep hypnosis channels before changing it here's something important you've built recognition around that

phrase it reflects your personality and who more who more it signals safety and gentleness rather than intensity I agree with that that said if you think a long-term brand clarity discoverability or a softer therapeutic feel here are some thoughtful alternatives grouped by direction Jason Newland Let Me Bore You To Sleep Let Me Bore You To Sleep sleep hypnosis Jason Newland sleep hypnosis Let Me Bore You To Sleep relaxation and hypnosis and boring you to sleep with Jason Newland so that's the me keeping my identity it goes through quite a few

different ones and then it says at the end my honest opinion is if I were at advising you strategically don't remove Let Me Bore You To Sleep it's distinctive it's brandable it's emotionally disarming instead consider a subtitle structure Let Me Bore You To Sleep Jason Newland sleep hypnosis that gives you personality SEO clarity professional tone long-term flexibility and right so okay I said it's all right let's look at this calmly and strategically you're not just naming a channel you're shaping how people feel the moment they see you I don't know

Let Me Bore You To Sleep that's Jason Newland it's unique memorable very human slightly humorous safe and non-threatening that humor is actually your edge but if the goal is growth and search visibility we adjust not replace I mean I would like to reach more people more people and most people search things like sleep hypnosis insomnia help fall asleep fast deep sleep meditation and relaxation for anxiety almost nobody searches boy you to sleep so the key is the balance that's a good point isn't it and how many people search for me

my name Jason Newland yeah so do not remove the Let Me Bore You To Sleep but add a few bits change it a little bit yeah okay so that goes on for about a year that's that's a long conversation new chat what was this one which is an image right I'm not gonna do that one because that was a medical thing so whoops pre-roll okay so I was looking it turns out I can't have adverts on my podcast or my YouTube channel I haven't had any adverts on my YouTube channel

since 2012 and not not the iPod I think YouTube put a few on over the years but with my podcasts I can't have adverts unless I have mid rolls which would be an advert blaring out halfway through the recording which is just you know it's not acceptable so I can't have any adverts at all on on the podcast and I was asking if there's a way around it but there's there's none it says to me he said all his I was looking for a solution so basically I said I've been

accepted for ads on YouTube videos I wasn't only okay I basically put it there I can't have pre-rolls I can't have it without pre-rolls and then it says YouTube okay sleep channel pro tips to reduce annoyance yes it's given some but this offer an ad free option optional but powerful if you later want to monetize better without harming sleep so YouTube whatever offer website downloads patreon patron supporters page YouTube channel members ad free versions the thing is any YouTube video with an ad or any podcast with an ad on it

in the middle or just the person ain't gonna come back probably unless they're kind of unless you know it was accident you know I didn't mean it to happen and you'll forgive me because I wouldn't want that to happen for myself definitely not for anyone else either you can softly mention it says there ad free versions are available for supporters if you prefer uninterrupted sleep I'm not gonna I'm not gonna give you the option between interrupted sleep and uninterrupted sleep am I that would just be understand what they're saying but

it's like it's yeah this is one of those things just I need a way around it most sleep channels leave mid-roll ads on and ruin the experience turning them off will increase watch time improve comments yeah but it doesn't allow me to turn them off that's the point see yeah that's Shopify thumbnail YouTube image trivia down so I use it for trivia Tuesday topics sometimes Monday boring objects are like just think of something I've been doing this for years what's a new topic I can think of and so this another

one Big Brother start when does Big Brother UK start next the most recent civilian Big Brother was autumn 2025 and the next Big Brother is expected to return autumn 2026 and it's going to be no celebrity one so late September early October so we got now March got wait six months that is my favoritist program in the world bar none Big Brother it's my favoritist program been watching it for 20 however many years because I use I was losing luma fusion for my videos so I asked him how it helped

with using that iPad to laptop image transfer so what are the I've cons I've connected laptop and iPad together with a cord I want to send images from iPad to laptop how how because basically I do I create the images on the laptop but I take pictures of myself when I'm doing the videos on my iPad so I transfer them over that makes sense yep you can do this the cable alone isn't enough though here are the easiest ways to send images from your iPad to your Windows laptop blah blah

blah so anyway that's I don't know why I'm going through all this I'm just letting you know and what was the last thing I did oh never says the dates have you noticed that but you wouldn't reject us there's no date someone asked these questions book writing journey what is this wow this is huge massive start writing my book about my life so I imported or uploaded rather a bunch of my transcripts I don't know how many I did 100 200 500 I don't know different ones from the Let Me

Bore You To Sleep okay 50 50 so let's see what's come up with because if I'm ever rightly and this is ages ago a long time ago it started off talking the way that I don't talk like on a winter's evening there was flakes of snow scattering around and it reminded me of a time when I was a child when I looked out at a window on a winter's evening and there was snowflakes scattering around and I thought to myself oh I like snow I hope it's still snowing in the

morning because then I might be able to go and make myself a snowman oh that I don't talk like that I'm not you could you could say well you just did no I know but I don't that's not how I talk and if I was gonna write my book about me it's gotta be written how I speak and I don't know if that is going to be readable I mean you know quite a few people find it listenable to a ball but readable that's a different thing isn't it so let's

have a look I'll see if it's if I can have a look and I'll read it to you because I seem to be doing everything to avoid answering questions because I don't have any questions let's see if I can come on come on man so I'm sure it did actually write it write me a like a first chapter if it has I'll read it to you because I completely forgot this so I've uploaded 200 files 200 scripts for my Let Me Bore You To Sleep at this point going down still

going down 300 now 300 350 Wow I keep going down 500 so now uploaded 500 scripts transcripts for it to go through so very few almost none actually story of scenes the problem is right and I don't get this so what you actually have based on 1 to 1 500 transcripts repeated factual statements very strong you you consistently say things like you didn't enjoy school you struggled academically you didn't fit in you lacked confidence you left without direction Wow it's all true but I just you know these appear hundreds of

times across years Wow there must be some if I must be saying some things other than that emotional this gives you emotional truth psychological continuity and credibility but not narrative scenes which is what I kind of need actual stories or scenes very few almost none across every everything we've scanned there's only one place where you move beyond one sentence reflections into something closer to a story that can't be true I tell stories it's not just one sentence is it do you think that maybe sometimes I'm not that easy to follow

yeah maybe who I mean that is kind of the point I suppose but at the same time I just thought I mean let's think 500 that's a minimum of 500 hours in reality in reality is probably 600 plus hours of me talking about my life 600 hours you'd think that out of 600 hours there would be at least a hundred page book out of that we knew I would 600 hours or at least a 20 page book a 30 but something an outline of a book and I've done three times

that now so I'm over 1,500 episodes but this is I mean this is I did 500 here early episodes okay early episode number 37 July 2018 range this is the only area where you talk about subjects RE history geography mentioned being naughty described not engaging reflects on five years at high school and mentioned computers at school which brings me to a question I'm gonna ask myself for Q&A Friday and I guess this is really a question to you listening rather than to me because I don't have the answer what do

I talk about what have I talked about for the last eight years on these podcasts for the last 1,500 recordings which is probably 1,800 hours 1,700 plus hours because you're quite often I do a lot more than an hour most the time I do so what have I talked about if according to this the first 500 recordings I only talked about one thing about my school once and even though it says even there it's still reflective rather than cinematic I don't understand that by that do they mean I'm not being

descriptive I'm not being visually descriptive about where the chairs were and how my teacher looked and stuff like that I'm not perhaps telling a story in that way but it's the closest thing to an actual school chapter everything else is I didn't enjoy school or struggled at school over and over this chap GPT's got a bit of an attitude on it that's a bit rude isn't it like we've gone through 500 of your transcripts over 600 hours and you've only mentioned one cohesive story about school and that's it just about

school and that was a number episode 37 and then ah and that didn't even have anything cinematic about it I mean what I meant to say like but on my first day of school just picture this you see me walking through the fog as you see me walking through the fog with my high socks on and my and my hat my cowboy hat and the camera pans in and you can see that I have chocolate all over my face and my flies are undone and I'm all excited because it's the

first day of school and I chucked my banana skin over the over the fence of the neighbor just as I go to cross the road and I do handstands and cartwheels as I go across the road but not near the zebra crossing I do it while zebra crossing stopped by this the lollipop lady so my handstands and it's over the cars over the car bonnets and the people were just all bibbing their horns the cars and everything and everyone was just celebrating me and all these other kids that I'd never

met they would come and they picked me up and put them on their shoulders and took me for a lap run around the whole field and the school and celebrating saying juicy JJ's here juicy JJ's here is that what they mean by cinematic I don't know I don't know it's rather reflective I mean I am a reflective person I reflect on what's happened and I do I reflect on what I think I reflect on my own beliefs I'm not someone that's gonna argument argument that's gonna argue my side of a

you know like this is what I believe therefore you should believe me no I don't have that thought patterns and I don't believe just because someone else believes has a belief system that I should believe that but they have a right to believe it as long as it doesn't affect me I don't care not interested so I you know I I reflect I just figured everybody does but they say that everything else is just all didn't enjoy school or struggled at school like over it literally says over and over again

and again and again and again and again and again I wish I'd just turned the computer off okay I added that bit but it's rude though isn't it rude and now it goes on it says what this tells me and this matters for your book this is not an accident so this is what I'm revisited this is like from like a year or two ago probably this is not an accident it suggests that school is something you understand emotionally but don't naturally revisit visually you summarize it rather than re-enter it

that's very common when the experience was uncomfortable or didn't contain moments you know so okay fair enough or felt long gray and undifferentiated yeah the whole of five years there's it seemed very samey to be honest very samey period of time in other words school didn't register as events it registered as a feeling yeah but it's telling me that's the only thing I've ever talked about and it's not the only thing I've ever talked about is it I haven't mentioned school in this recording apart from when I did okay hopefully

spent about 20% of the recording talking about school but only in the context of you know writing a book using chat GPT to help me just so I don't want chat GPT to write the book I don't want to write it I'm looking to structure it so I can write it using my own information so to take out what I've said the verbatim verbatim verbatim and then I can structure that into something rather than have chat GPT actually write it I'm not interested someone else doing the work for me just

helping helping to organize the all of the thoughts and all of the things I've said you know I mean I mean when I think about it the types of book I could write there's a few different versions of what I could write I could write a really really honest I could really write a really honest book like everything but at the same time I want anything that I do I want it to be funny now I'm pretty certain any book I write I can get some funny bits in it but

there's this kind of I don't know how funny I could make it if it was like real stuff like real you know real real and the other side to doing writing a book like a real gritty kind of everything book is there's other people involved and I don't want to bring other people's lives into my book because it's it's personal for me and I don't want to it's I don't think it's my right to bring other people's world into my world even though they were part of it I don't know

there's got to be a way around it I probably need a bit of advice somewhere so another way of doing it would be to focus on a specific subject something like the comedy is or the I don't know the talking about bipolar talking about not recovering not suffering but coping dealing whatever just like because I think anyone that has any kind of I don't know what the right one trying to think an illness let's say of any kind of physical whatever it is mental physical and anyone that has had to

deal with that for a long long long long time even though they might not believe it even though they might not feel it they are successful they are a success they are a big success because what they've done is amazing and as I said they might not agree with that they might not believe that I might think I'm just talking absolute ping-pong but the fact is if you if you've got through many years of dealing with something that's out of your control physically or mentally you know within your own body

that is then you're successful it's a different type of success to be in being the top of your chosen profession I've been a top lawyer or being the best tennis player or you know it's it's a different ball game isn't it I mean being a lawyer and being a tennis players it's a very different ball game literally but I think tennis players are more into no lawyers are more into squash I never understood squash I've seen it in TV shows and movies you know it's never about the squash it's just

like a conversation that might be going on while two adults are playing squash now is it as simple as there's a wall that goes all the way around the basically there's a wall that goes all the way around the squash court that you're in one room and there's a line that goes around the midsection and basically one person hits the ball above that line and then the next person has to hit it above the line but they can hit it on any wall is that really all the game is and

whoever and the ball can I think the ball can bounce once probably like with tennis and ping-pong table tennis weather but if they hit below the below the line they're out they lose that game or lose that set and if they don't get the ball in time because it's it's quite a fast game then then they lose it then as well so is that anyone tell me if you I'm literally on chat GBT and I could ask I don't care that much enough to actually ask it and just type a

sentence in yeah I'll spend five minutes explaining that I'm not sure if I understand how something works but this is what I think it might be that might not be it could have been sorted really easy I mean there was a there was a phrase I went through and my some friends did as well when we sit in a room and someone would come out with something a question a broad general question and the answer would be Google it instead of spending two hours arguing over who's right and who's wrong

Google it but then I realized some people don't even believe the facts they were saying no it happened here happened this year happened in 1989 not 1983 it was 1989 and you Google it and it says 1983 nope I don't care what Google says it's 1989 okay in the end you say look here's my birth certificate I was born in 1983 see don't care it was in 1989 I know my own date of birth so let's have a look what else it says here because this is a little bit annoying

really because really I was asking for it to remind me a book and it hasn't your options going forward very important option a a honest approach recommended write the school chapter I'm not interested in this school chapter thanks man I'm interested in like 500 pages fight no 500 pages 500 transcripts 600 plus hours I did not spend the whole time talking about school I know I didn't a long stretch of time remembered only as option B prompted memory work if you want stories I can gently help you excavate them by

asking things like one specific classroom one teacher one moment no it's obsessed with school I don't want to what the naughty being naughty means in your material accurately when you when you say you are naughty at school you don't describe bad stuff you describe playing up messing about not engaging not doing what you were supposed to be doing talking instead of working drifting so naughty in your case clearly means resistant disengaged bored and uncomfortable not malicious I was really really malicious extended prose faithful not fictional here's an expansion that stays

completely honest to your transcripts and tone without adding scenes you haven't described well okay so this is what it's taken and it's written this a little bit about me interesting so I've described myself as being naughty at school but that word doesn't really fit in the way people usually mean it I wasn't aggressive or cruel I was a bit sometimes I wasn't setting fire to bins or throwing chairs I did throw chairs and bins setting fire to bin no no although in a science lab we had Bunsen burners and we

also paper towels Emily had a sink so it's kind of I don't know I'm not responsible if they're gonna put all that stuff together in one room and then put a bunch of teenagers in there I was just there not really taking part I played up in small ways I messed about I talked about when I was meant I talked when I was meant to be listening I drifted I avoided doing what I was supposed to be doing not out of rebellion exactly but out of disconnection boredom complete boredom school

felt like a place where I was meant to slot in something in something that they didn't suit me lessons moved on whether I understood them or not very slowly I'm adding this little bit Wow those lessons were so slow I'd look at the clock and literally I'm sure during one one geography class the big hand actually not a big hand yeah the big hand started to go backwards I swear it did I was supposed to be doing okay school felt like a place blah blah blah expectations were there but they

never really landed so I filled the space by talking joking and distracted myself and others yeah fair enough I think looking back I don't think I was being naughty so much as uncomfortable I don't I didn't know how to engage with what they were asked me asking of me and I didn't have the language to explain that acting that was easier than admitting I didn't know what I was doing yeah that is insightful I really didn't I'd be sitting there and I don't know sometimes like for me if I was

gonna study a subject I study that subject I go all out and I read books and I like a lot of books on a thing so give an example about 2000 2003 2004 maybe 2003 I did a because I was going for a lot of anxiety stuff and I did a survey online and it was an Asperger's questionnaire I know it's not really classed that anymore it's now the autism spectrum it's not they don't use that term anymore Asperger's or Aspergers in the UK anyway and I came up very very

very very high on that questionnaire and especially when it comes to communication and being transfixed on one thing having a like my own special interest that I can't sort of move away from being obsessed with stuff like that and not enjoying being around people and enjoying my own company more than other people and just basic stuff that just seemed to fit really into I'm not liking loud noises so being quite hypersensitive to sound which I am a bit but it's so I thought oh this is interesting so just trying to

figure out you know what's going on here would be and I think I was still working as well so this is 2003 I just bought loads of books on Asperger's or Aspergers and read them went on YouTube you know looked at videos on the pro on the thing and just learn as much as I could about the subject and just because I wanted to learn I wanted to find out and it's it's weird because it's hard to explain what I'm trying to explain it's very sometimes I don't know how much

of who I am is who I am this is who I am now I think the only time I'm perhaps the only time I'm a hundred percent myself is when I make a podcast like this so I could be honest and by that I don't mean be open to everything because I'm not I'm not tell every tell you every single weird thing that I think about or you know because no one needs to hear that but I would say I'm not masking maybe I mask of humor sometimes but generally and

it's a weird thing because I don't feel judged and this is probably the most the most judged I could be can you imagine I'll be I'm doing making recordings doing this for a long time I've given so much information about myself my personal internal world you know what's going on inside my mind and some of the stuff that's happened in my life and how I feel and especially when it comes to sort of mental health issues I could just be really having people coming online and give me hassle and I

don't I don't get that so I'm more likely to get judged making these recordings but I don't feel judged when I make them when I upload them I don't even consider that I'm going to get judged but when I'm in a conversation with someone I do feel that I'm kind of potentially going to get judged you know and I just notice so many people seem to have their guards up and when they let their guards down they're different they're so different when they all let that mask slip and it's never

generally in a bad way it's not like they're really lovely and then they let their guard their masks slip and they're not such a nice person although I have seen that but it's usually it's not even the other way around it's just there's this needs to be sometimes a sense of emotional disconnect until the mask slips or drops or they take it off and then you realize like they can just be themselves they're not going to be judged and maybe that's a universal thing we don't want to be judged now

the argument for this is everybody judges is natural which is true it is a natural thing to judge someone we judge ourselves it's natural but I think in the same way we're not really judging when we judge someone it's not really them that we're judging it's their it's the facade of them it's the them with their guard up with their mask on that's the version of them that we're judging so we're not really judging that person because when someone's sitting in a room and they're opening up about how they're feeling

and they're being really honest and they're being really open genuine how how can you I don't know how to judge someone like that it's like if I see someone you see someone lying on the floor waiting for an ambulance maybe they're taking a fall they're falling over they're waiting for an ambulance who's judging that person probably nobody once they realize that the person's waiting for an ambulance maybe they're wrapped up in a you know I don't know what's inside cushion on their face no but they've got people around them helping

them you know they've got a no one's gonna judge them I don't think but if that person just laid down on the floor just goofing around getting in the way of other people trying to walk on a pavement they're gonna be judged they're probably gonna be walked on as well if they live around here but they'll be judged if you know that that person is maybe falling over and hurt themselves and they're waiting for an ambulance to come and help them no one's gonna think well they're in the way I

don't think anyway I'm pretty sure that so it's kind of like their mask slips off because they're they don't have to put on any airs or anything because they're waiting for an ambulance they can just be themselves and the people around them their masks fall off because they don't have to be judgmental because the situation is obvious what's happening and that natural empathy that caring sympathy love whatever you want to call it feelings comes out because when we see someone on the floor like that it could be someone that we

care about it could be someone you know I see someone on the floor an elderly person even though there might be my age now I still think well that could be my nan you know that even though they might be younger than me that could be you know I remember once I did actually lay down with someone who was on the floor because she was crying and shaking and I the thing she was she wasn't bothered with so much about her leg she was worried about people looking at her that's

what she was concerned about and I realized I might have just gone back on something I just said didn't I say the person wouldn't have their mind you if if you're worried then you're not gonna have your yeah you wouldn't have your mask up on would you if you're worried about what other people are thinking because that's kind of you isn't it so she was crying because she was like oh people all staring and they're gonna stare at me and and I said do you in pain she said not really

my hip hurts but you know I'm comfortable she had a blanket on she had a cushion underneath her head not on her face and I thought the only thing I can do here is get it so people weren't looking at her now I didn't do a striptease or anything like that so I thought I'm gonna lie down next to her so I got off me donkey and I lied down next to her and she was laughing she was laughing for you know until the ambulance got there she couldn't stop she

found it hysterical that I was doing that and I was just talking to her and and making fun of her husband because he was there as well but he was sitting down on a bench and we were just I would just chatting and she was absolutely honestly I think probably the best pain relief that could have been is laughter I think in that situation but if anyone was judging they weren't judging her they were judging me probably thinking oh he's trying to get attention I don't think I was I don't

think it was about oh look at me everyone I'm lying down in the street because it isn't something that I would normally do right I just got interrupted by Vinnie barking so I can't even remember what I was talking about something about a donkey or something I think see ya oh yes anyway um oh this book so it was years I was there for years okay acting out was easier than admitting I didn't know what I was doing I was there for years physically present but not but mentally somewhere else

I must have learned something you can't spend that long in a place about absorbing absorbing bits of it but very little of it felt like it stayed with me mostly I learned how to get through the day so everything above is consistent with the transcripts consistent with your voice consistent with the absence of dramatic stories are you saying so now it's telling me that none of my stories are dramatic really I would argue against that that my stories are possibly the most exciting stories that anyone's ever told ever why this

book works for you what is why this works for your book this kind of expansion it turns a single sentence into meaning explains behaviors without excusing or exaggerating avoids fake nostalgia or false drama it feels honest adult and reflective it also explains why there aren't vivid school stories I've got vivid okay maybe not vivid but I've got school stories I could tell school stories from here to well I could tell some stories I don't know how long for I'll show you I'm that's it next week I'm gonna just do school

stories for the whole of the week how about that mr. chat GPT or mrs. chat GPT or ms. chat GPT if you want next we can expand I didn't fit in or expand I didn't learn much or expand school not my confidence and I wrote down can you write a short book based on different periods of my life based on the information I said in transcripts verbatim use all 500 transcripts each chapter is two pages long start with birth and end up as middle-aged with Vinnie please only use factual things

I've said including any jokes I've told yeah you know I like my little jokes yeah I can do this but I need to be very precise and honest with you before we proceed none of the jokes are funny rude now it says because what you've asked you for sits right at the edge of what's technically and ethically possible in one go ethically please read this carefully it matters for the integrity of the book all short book you can all 500 transcripts possible okay it's possible a book with multiple life periods

two pages per chapter what verbatim means in practice I know what it means or maybe I don't apparently is a critical distinction you must keep clear verbatim source material your exact words yeah yeah editorial stitching minimal connection sentences that read as a book yeah but I'm thinking like if I said something keep that in you know if I say the sentence like look how there's a walrus and then you can kind of like keep that in in this in that order if you turn it to there's a walrus look out

I suppose that could work as well couldn't it yeah I suppose but it's okay that's not a good example if I only use raw verbatim quotes with zero stitching the book would read like a transcript transcript collage not a book the correct approach and the one I recommend is every fact event etc verbatim connecting sentences neutral factual non-inventive no new memories no invented scenes no emotional color and you didn't express this is how all history books are written yeah so chapters is let me bore you to life I work in

chat I work in title let me bore you to life okay does that work I don't know wasn't my idea chapters chronological factor or the factual my idea for a book would be life of a bipolar hypnotist or I'm pretending to think birth and early life what you've actually said childhood and early awareness school years we doing school years already mapped leaving school and drifting number five early childhood adulthood sorry number six mental health and identity number seven discovering voice and recording number eight podcasting beginnings 2006 onwards number nine life

routines boredom humor humor number 10 loss reflection middle-aged and number 11 Vinnie and the quieter present that that doesn't again that's not something I would say is it how things now was a much quieter present it is a much quieter present no although it is quieter than it was that mr.

I mean I could do a whole chapter on Andre I could do a whole chapter on my Nan I could do a whole chapter on various different things and hypnosis there's a lot of different things I could do a whole chapter on I could do a whole book on just one of each of those things probably but I have to write it from scratch and not get any information from my podcast which is a shame so it's gonna do it now it's gonna write this book add a clear book okay

next step I wonder if I I'm just gonna see if it's actually come did that cheat my life oh wow okay so you want to do this is I'm gonna read this out my life a quiet beginning my life did not have a quiet beginning that's the weird thing about it I have spent a large part of my life listening it's kind of fair I guess listening to other people listening to silence listening to spaces between thoughts it's not how I talk is it but I guess I do that when

I meditate but you know this book is not written because my life is extraordinary in the usual sense and is written because it is honest and because there's value in quiet stories that don't shout for attention quite like that I've spoken for years into microphones often late at night when whispering often hoping that someone somewhere might feel a little less alone I sound lovely tonight then I sound nice in many ways this book is an extension of that same intention not to impress not to persuade but simply to share so

these are not my words okay this is chat GPT taken from podcasts transcripts and put it into this this is not a story of constant success or neat resolutions it's a story of learning how to sit with discomfort how to survive loss how to find purpose in unexpected places and how boredom of all things became a form of kindness okay I don't know about that I don't write this is an expert on life I write it as someone who kept going yeah perhaps that should be the title I kept going

and chapter one early years so some of this it's got stuff that it remembers but I was born in Enfield London in the summer of 1970 true I don't remember that day itself of course but I've always liked knowing the date I don't this is it there's something grounding about numbers and calendars about placing yourself somewhere specific in time now he's writing about me chat GPT and that is what I do I've got everything mapped not everything but I met things out by where I was what what month it was

maybe what year it was what was going on at the time and I I've always liked knowing the date okay there's something grounded about numbers and calendars I don't know about numbers but yeah I don't know it's caught me by surprise there about placing yourself somewhere specific in time it reminds it reminds you that your life however confusing it may feel does have a beginning yeah I do like I just like mapping it out for me there's there's the beginning there's the there's the the London years like the first two

years of being alive then there's a new castle years which be the next four years maybe yeah two three four five yeah maybe next three and a half years Newcastle and then Southend a year and a half probably and then moving to my dad said as I split in those different periods up I don't have specific dates for those maybe that's what it is because I don't have anyone to tell me anything about my childhood my name was the only one to do that and nobody there's nobody to say like

oh do you remember when you was a in this happened and you set fire to your Nan's week and nothing like that no no happy stories there's no or no just no stories full stop and it's weird it's almost like it didn't happen it's like I didn't grow up when she met me you probably agree yeah you definitely haven't grown up you immature little seal by yes remember my stepmum my first stepmum I saw in hospital when my little brother had appendicitis this was blimey probably 30 years ago 25 30

years 25 I don't like a long time ago and we went up there I went out there with my dad to see my little brother because he was he was ill it wasn't just a standard thing and he it was okay he'd be covered everything so and then she comes in she comes into her son of course didn't know that we were gonna be there it's a little bit awkward and then she sort of spoke to me and reminded me of some stuff that happened when I was a kid and

like just in five minutes I was reminded more about my childhood than I have been in the last 40 years like there's no one remembers anything that happened when I was a kid except me probably I mean if I don't speak to my older brothers but if I did there'd be that probably commonality we could sort of discuss old remember when that happened and you know so yeah there would be that I guess but yeah I mean maybe that's why I do I did not the only reason but maybe that's

why I'm kind of keeping a or the albeit a verbal journal because this is a verbal journal and I would talk about I don't always talk about what I've done on the day that I'm making the podcast but all in I might talk about today in a month's time or years time I might talk about this period in three years time so it'll all be talked about eventually it's just it's trying to organize it into a way that makes it easy to to manage you still haven't eaten your dinner Hilly

you're coming over to me I know you're hungry so why don't you eat your din-dins why don't you eat your num-nums you're hungry aren't you yeah I know you are I know you are but what is it I know you are but what am I I know you are Viddy you're hungry little boy and you've got a right to be hungry but at the same time I've got a right to not keep chucking your food away and to not give you those t-r-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-t-s he even knows what I'm saying I'm spelling

it out wrongly and he even knows don't you he's licking my nose now the fact he's licking my face means two things firstly he's absolutely desperate to get to get a treat he's that desperate to get a treat or secondly he's just trying to get the taste he's been licking himself and he's trying to get the taste out of his mouth he's just trying to cleanse his palate he is rude sometimes I did say to him why do you lick my face he said because it makes my so it makes

my bum taste nice it's wrong Vinnie stop it can't say stuff like that to me I'm your daddy comparing my face to your bum is not fair it's not don't look down at the carpet it's not fair okay so I'm reading this where am I going yeah I grew up with brothers see I've got a joke for that well it's not particularly funny but I said when I was born I had two brothers and then I say they're both older than me obviously but just you know I've had that in

my bag for about 20 years that little one line of silliness so I grew up with brothers noise movement and the kind of everyday chaos that feels normal feels normal when you're inside it childhood memories rarely arrive in neat order they come as fragments the feel of carpets the sound of television the smell of kitchens the strange intensity of small worries that felt enormous at the time no that's wrong they come as fragments the feel of carpets okay this is gonna sound really weird but I only remember the feel of

one carpet and that was these carpet tiles that were upstairs and they were horrible walking on them horrible but that's the only feeling of carpet that I remember the idea yeah I don't remember that and what other things it say the sound of televisions okay the only time I can really remember the sounds of a television when I wasn't actually watching a television would have been when I was upstairs in bed and the TV was going and they were watching TV but I didn't have that memory until right now not

something I really think about apart from when they were watching a movie that I wasn't allowed to watch although I could watch it when I got home from school on my own like thanks so yeah at least I think I was allowed the smell of kitchens so this is talking about my early years as a child yeah so early years I don't remember kitchen there's only one got one kitchen memory no one two kitchen memories there's one kitchen memory in Newcastle in the block of council flats in the council flat

we lived high up one of my mum's friends male friends had a crab didn't have crabs I see had crabs but yeah I'm in a bag like live crabs days like crab crabs not crabs so he put one of the crabs on the floor and was crawling towards me and I was scared and I picked a knife up and I started you know try and defending myself with the knife and they found it hilarious the only other I've got memory of because we used to be on our own at the

weekends me and my two brothers my oldest brother used to look after me and my other brother which is weird because he was only about eight years old himself and I remember he was in the kitchen one day and he was looking for something to feed us with give us some food and I think he ended up going and getting some fish and chips and I had fish cakes yeah I don't know if I went with him I can't remember he was like an adult to me he was four years

older than me and I looked up to I looked up to him like an adult like a father figure he's eight years old man he was eight years old it's ridiculous isn't it it's crazy crazy I tell you and so that's the only really to our memories I've got of the kitchen of when I was very early years but it's other you know I've got memories of kitchens in different places I've lived okay what else have we got kitchens okay here we go so here we go so often slightly apart

from things all right so it's changed it again now but smell this strange intensity of small worries that felt enormous at the time I'll be honest with you I never I felt the intense but I never felt that I never felt the small I mean in reality a lot of the stuff probably wasn't but we all felt big during and after never really felt small because of how I felt hmm even early on I was more observant than participant so that's true so this is it's taken stuff out of my

podcast this obviously I don't know I don't think I ever mentioned that but I am more observant than participant I don't I noticed moods yeah kind of had to really I noticed silences I noticed how people would be physically present yet emotionally elsewhere I don't know if that's true or not I didn't have language for any of that back then I just knew that the world felt loudest to some people than to others that I seem to experience it differently so I don't know what level of awareness I had at

that time and it was a survival wasn't I suppose school past the school as school does for many people days are blurred together moments of connection blah blah moments of discomfort and long stretches of simply getting through I wasn't particularly remarkable and I wasn't invisible either I existed somewhere in the middle learning quietly often inwardly how to make sense of things yeah that was the thing I was trying hardest trying to figure out so I'd be in the classroom for example studying fractions and trying to figure out why I'm in

that classroom being taught about fractions and I couldn't really see the point in it I can see the point in basic fractions of course a quarter of a third and it's very basic isn't it basic fractions is very very simple but then you go deeper and like why would I need that stuff and I never have ever because I didn't go into science I didn't go into mathematics I didn't go into engineering where maybe I would need that stuff I just I worked in a chip shop when I left school

not that was my plan but it and sometimes I think why am I here how am I benefiting from this how what what you know what why why is the teacher there why she decided to do this she clearly doesn't like it especially when I steal our stuff I used to steal stuff and not badly and that might seem weird so one of the things I used to like to do when I was at school especially to the maths teacher because we didn't get on so I'd walk up and I'd

ask a question pretend and I'd make it a question that got her interest because it was almost like oh she thought I was showing interest in what she'd been talking about or what she'd been lecturing about whatever so I asked a question and she maybe she turned around and pointed a blackboard and I'd steal something from her desk like just a purse or no it might just be a ruler or a punch you know a hole puncher or something like that or calculator just something basic but something that she uses

and then she realizes that she's lost or chalk piece of chalk which she was using and she's like where's my chalk gone and you start going on everyone has my chalk gone and no one like I don't know don't know and she'd be getting all me I shouldn't have done it but I was just trying to while away the time really and then I'd go back and I say ask to help for help with something and I'd put the chalk back or what I would say is oh look the chalks

there miss and I point and it'd be like on the you know the thing where you chalk holder underneath the blackboard used to be if you've ever used a blackboard or a whiteboard even though she'd already looked for it there like it's there all the time or look it's in your hair it's on you it's on your head that didn't work so well look it's inside your packed lunch box that didn't really it has to be if you're gonna do that you have to do it so it's somewhere that is

kind of how did it get there but it's it's possible you know if you say oh look it's inside your car miss look it's on the dashboard that is not gonna work because like how the hell would it go into the into the car you know I mean just you know that was a little thing I used to like to do it was never really stealing it was just I used to think of it as magic maths magic that's what I used to call it and I mean technically it was

supposed to stealing but I didn't think of it that way I just I was so bored I didn't know I didn't know that this tendency to look inward would one day shape my work my voice and the way I connected with others at the time is just how I was I mean technically this isn't my work it is my work but I mean I'm not getting paid for it but it's it's my life my voice you know in some ways I think to myself when did I really discover my voice

I know that there might be some people think what do you mean discover your voice you just talked and it was there no and not how it sounds but when did I discover I probably the first time I discovered my voice actually the first time I discovered that maybe I had something was in a class it was a lecture something I don't know what it was and I started being cheeky to the teacher and I kept talking back and they kept talking I think they were telling someone else off and

I shouted something out and it made some people laugh and then I they she came back to me or he came back to us I said something again and it made some people laugh but there was a girl particularly was laughing and she said keep going keep going it's funny and I thought right then and there that oh this is interesting because when she wobbled her boobies when she wobbled when she laughed her boobies wobble numbers but that like that's when I was like 15 16 whatever and I can't believe

I said that out loud but anyway I thought maybe this is what I'd be missing because I didn't have any women or girls coming after me for my looks or my personality so I thought maybe if I could make people laugh perhaps you know because I didn't have much contact with women or girls at all when I was a kid at school all my friends were boys so I didn't well I really had like one one or two good friends but to be fair it might not have been the last

year school it might be in the second year of school that's when I became naughtier this is me talking by the way not thing but the second time I noticed my voice was in about 1989 it was a summer and I was staying in this I this I was sleeping on on the floor of a friend's flat and I remember I bought myself a pad just sit on the sofa during the day and I kept thinking to myself I want to buy myself a pad like a refill pad and write

what I'm thinking so I knew I was thinking stuff but I wasn't necessarily good at remembering what I thought about and then I thought I kept having these thoughts so I'll get myself a pad and I thought I'll be tomorrow tomorrow and then I got one so I got a refill pad I do believe it was yellow or orange cover or blue I think it was orange and I had a pen was it wasn't big it was I forget the name of it it was like a nice like felt pen

but they're quite popular still although they're quite hard to get the lids on now because it's all about using less and less plastic isn't it so before they used to have big old lids and you could chew on them and it was brilliant but now and they'd click as well when you put them on now you know you push you don't even know if it's on or not there's no click so you take your hand away the lid might fall on the floor or it might be stuck to the indenture

of your hand because you've been pushing it's kind of strange really so I eventually I bought a book now this is within about a week or two bought a pad bought a pen and I just started writing whatever was on my mind I started writing what I was thinking about just it was anything and everything it was kind of it was a journal but at the same time I was sort of thinking up some jokes that weren't very good I was it was just a bunch of stuff and that pad

traveled around with me it's June 89 I took it to France so I was writing in France into that pad and I brought it back and I had three or four addresses that I had that pad and then I don't know how but I moved I know how I moved but I moved to London and somehow I moved out this room I managed to leave the pad there I don't know how I did it but I did and I never saw it again and there was probably about six months worth

of material or six months of worth me writing in it so it's pretty good like 150 pages nearly 200 pages and so the 200 page pad so never I never saw it again I went around the address when I moved back but they hadn't seen it or ever so fair enough and then in the April 1990 so I'm saying I felt like I found my voice I started to write and oh this is what I'm thinking this is what I feel about that because I didn't really have a sounding board

with another person because I was the young one I was the I was the kid I was 18 and I was being treated like a kid by everyone else everyone I was around was older than me talking down to me and pushing their views their opinions and I didn't really feel that what I had to say was valid and there's many many many years till I realized that what I have to say is as valid as anybody else's use but to a long time many years to me to get to

that point and I started writing again in April 1990 and there's a part of me would love to go back to that time you know knowing what I know now could make some real real changes you know big but then anyone could couldn't they if you could go back to a certain date knowing what happens in the future and I you know if you didn't make a change and make your future life better then you've done something wrong in here you know so but then we don't know it's hard to

know isn't it because I don't think anybody's ever done it outside of a movie so I started writing and I continued writing my journals all the way through the 90s and the 2000s until 2011 when I destroyed them all and I had loads loads and loads and loads of these pads just you know I was writing a journal just talking about my life I mean I had my whole 20s and I was writing talking about what I'd done where I'd been what comedy clubs I'd gone to where I'd been working

probably relationships friendships what's in the news all kinds of stuff like that that's gone I destroyed them but I think it helped me to kind of find my voice a bit but at the same time I don't know and even when I started doing podcasts and started doing recordings in 2006 I used to do an update videos where you know the end then ended up being called Jason Chats while I was talking so that was probably when I first really got in touch with being able to express myself but it

kind of felt that my voice I didn't discover my voice fully the so ironic I'm saying discover my voice and my voice is going all this talking 60s over two hours so far been talking so discovering my voice would be probably when I first started doing these Let Me Bore You To Sleep podcasts and it was such a I don't know is something happened I suppose because a lot of things have happened during this period you know since 2018 to now quite a lot of things have happened in the world

and in my life and stuff like that and just I think it's been I think maybe I just got to know myself a bit better a little bit more than before maybe so let's have a look through this is this chapter one so it's rewritten it now I was born in Enfield London in 1970 I've mentioned my date of birth many times over the years partly because dates feel solid and dependable they don't change no matter what else happens the starting point stays fixed that is true see regardless of what

kind of maybe becomes fuzzy in my memory I know that in 1976 tonight at least in 1976 I was living in Nazareth house in Southend which is a children's home run by Catholic nuns I know million percent that's where I was living until the summer 1977 I also know I was born in Enfield in 1970 I know I lived in London moved to London in 1991 so certain things were just you know by dates January 1991 I moved to London I came back moved away from London in September 2001 like

it's a definite month definite year and that definitely happened because I started working in insurance so all these little bits that I kind of put together this is me talking by not not the book and so maybe there is more maybe this chat GBT's notice of my transcripts to I I mean I do have a friend that makes fun of me so when we talk about something then I say Oh November 2002 this happened as you like last because it's like people said that to me how do you remember the

when the date and I said well I don't remember the date I don't remember the exact day necessarily I mean I might remember if it's a Sunday but oh you know if it's a particular day in a week but I don't remember necessarily the day itself but the month and the year but sometimes I get it wrong which is fine I don't mind in fact I find it quite funny because most of the time I'm right when it comes to my own life so when I get something wrong I'm thinking

wow you know when you've never been wrong before it's a weird feeling no I don't know being around other people is normal being around other people was normal what the heck what being around other people is normal I don't mean being born being around other people is normal but even when I noticed I often felt slightly apart from things as if watching live rather than fully stepping into it well here's something that I noticed and it still happens today sometimes is I'll be talking to someone and well one thing can

happen I lose interest another thing that can happen is I don't know what to say next maybe that's part of losing interest or maybe that's part of I don't know enough something else I also notice sometimes I'll be talking to someone and it's just be going through the procedure going through the routine of like yeah you're right you're right you're right oh it's cold yeah I know it's cold I wish I had a little woomy earmuffs but the problem with that is I won't be able to hear what you're saying

la la la la you know general conversation but then they might say something like a neighbor recently talked about something that's very personal to her and she had my complete attention like complete attention because it was an actual conversation it was something that I thought I might be able to help her with but like most people she's not taking up my my offer for help I've offered a few people around to help with just with relaxing or stress relief or you know stuff like that but no one no one ever

takes my well never take me up on it so it's fine so but I was completely engrossed in the conversation and that sometimes happens when some if I hear someone I speak to someone the other day and she mentioned that she was like a really good football player when she was younger like semi-professional almost and I just really said yeah I've got medals she got trophies at home football medals football trophies and stuff it's like I can't even imagine her playing football and the idea that like she was it's just

been you can't you know what you can't tell what someone used to do generally by looking at them now some people you can get an idea but you know I don't know can you not necessarily feelings really being grumpy now you got your dinner Vinnie eat that yeah as a child I spent a lot of time in my own head whole life I have I've joked before that I was very good at being physically present while mentally somewhere else yeah that's why I love television so much because I could sit

in a room with the family and watch and watch television and it was a distraction from the others or I'd have to read a book but that was very difficult when there was noise as people talking when it came to dinner I just wanted to eat my dinner I mean sometimes people were talking it was interesting so I'd be listening but I just I'd want to finish what I was doing and then go and watch TV or read a book ideally be on me own but I didn't have a TV

of me own when I was little so well my first TV I've got one was about 14 so before that I had to go downstairs which is weird because I could have bought myself a TV because I had loads of part-time jobs from the age of 12 I could have saved up and got a TV set I just didn't even think about it it just wasn't something I didn't even give it a thought so yeah maybe I wasn't allowed and maybe I said well I'd like a TV I want to

buy myself a TV no you're not allowed to watch a TV hmm maybe maybe that happened I don't know I mean although physically they're mentally somewhere else I felt with sales always generally aware of my surroundings aware of who's around I'm with the only time I can really relax is when I'm in here I can relax I can lay down I could sit in the chair close my eyes listen to listen to myself talking because that does relax me funny enough it's weird it does or listen to some music or

something and I relax but it's the only place I can really really relax is here yeah I used to I used to relax at my nan's I used to feel very relaxed there I felt very safe there she was because she's a very strong lady she used to carry a big hammer around with her she was a Viking my name was she's a Viking huge sword and you know so you should have seen a helmet not helmet but what do they call that big hat that they wear I don't know

but yeah she wasn't really a Viking why am I going down that line it doesn't say this in the book by the way it's me making up television was always there in the background so is music there weren't passions yet more like familiar companions they filled spaces they made rooms feel less empty I didn't know then how important sound and voice will become to me later in life only the silence and noise both mattered yeah but not other people's voices I I like listening either I mean I wasn't completely on

there and I did have a friend at school I had two friends one main friend through junior school in high school up to kind of the last year of school we kind of we drifted after the fourth year and I had another friend that I used to be friends with most of the way through high school but we became closer near the end of high school and beyond like we used to go out drinking and stuff after leaving school which I didn't do with the other friend so I don't think

we had conversation so much I did with Neil Neil was the one after the end he used to be very intelligent very conversational and funny as well so that was he was cool Dean my other friend again I grew up with him we were just together all the time so funny and stuff but he's we both made each other laugh but he was I don't know we drifted anyway as I said we drifted near the end and we just wanted different things everyone's saying to me I love you but I'm

not in love with you oh yeah that was it wasn't the most deepest relationship like verbally I don't think and I think it was yeah I'm not sure if we ever had a sensible conversation the whole time we were friends which I kind of liked in a way but for me I didn't need I tell you what I used to like watching stuff that was really serious on telly and I think that's why I quite like some of that stuff I used to like watching mash when I was 15 and

mash was not aimed at a 15 year old mash was adults it was an adult show although it's funny but it was for adults and I was quite although I did like kids programs as well I did quite like the adult stuff especially stuff that was a bit challenging you know mentally challenging not really early life you know when I was kind of in my probably not when I was 8 or 9 but 10 I like things like heart to heart and Charlie's Angels because although it was action also you

know you needed to understand what was going on and you know it was Columbo was always on early 80s so Columbo you needed to kind of although I think shows like that are really for kids but I'm pretty sure they used to be on in the afternoon on a Sunday there weren't passions yet more like so there was passions when I was a kid and this is childhood so I don't know where it's aiming at but I had a lot of passions when I was a kid like complete compulsions compulsions

whatever you want to call it things I just couldn't stop doing yeah obsessions maybe that's the best word the first one it was kind of like an obsession but it wasn't it wasn't and that was astronomy so I had a telescope and I was reading books all the time on stars and so even then I didn't tell anyone else but I was very well aware that I didn't understand hardly anything I was reading I never told anyone else they didn't stop me buying we're not buying Jenny I would rent the

books out of the library and I'll get bought books my birthday and for Christmas and stuff and they're all really really technical advanced like it's hard to get an unadvanced astronomy book because I was I was getting reading books on black holes and wormholes and you know just really advanced stuff and I didn't understand hardly a thing that I was reading but I kept going but I was aware of it I was aware that I didn't really know what I was doing didn't know why why it felt good it felt

nice when I was reading no one was bothering me no one was trying to talk to me so maybe that's another thing if I could read a book that I didn't really understand because I didn't need to understand it because I didn't really need to give it that kind of concentration and it would have been hard to do that with other people in the room nattering on and on and on about stuff and arguing and all that stuff so yeah so I was quite I was interested I was interested in

the stars I was I was interested in the moon and the basic structure of the night sky I've always loved the stars and stuff yeah so I was definitely interested but I wasn't as interested as perhaps my family thought I was but it's not their fault I just I didn't I didn't I guess I didn't want to admit that I kind of wasn't really I'd lost interest a little bit now the thing I was really interested in which no one else really I don't know if I even told anybody I

became interested in the occult so I was 13 probably 14 13 14 and this lasted a couple of years but it wasn't just like a cult bad stuff I was just really interested in I think it was the second or third year of high school my RE teacher well both my RE teachers the first one the second one so the first one really seemed to like me the second one really seemed to like me as well and they're the only teachers apart from my maths teacher that I had for I

think one term before he left in the first year of high school the only two teachers ever like me was my RE teachers which is religious education so the second teacher was really the way she explained stuff made more sense what made it more interesting now I knew I kind of knew my basic Christian kind of stuff because so I live with nuns and you can't you can't live with nuns without picking some stuff up I don't mean rubbish off the floor I'm talking you know in church twice a day

I learned a bit about you know religion and stuff and also I'd read the the Old Testament when I was about nine or ten and I read the New Testament of the Bible once as well and then I read it again and I became deeply deeply involved personally for a period of time probably in the first year probably the first year of high school as my dad had to have an operation and I was just reading the Bible all the time the New Testament so I got really into that so

when it came to RE I knew my way around the Old and the New Testament and that's the only thing we really kind of used to study in the first year or two and then he retired I think but he actually gave me he played this album which was Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat and of course it's you know from one of the stories in the Bible and I loved it and I said I can't believe it so I don't know what it was but it's just the songs were catchy

I've never heard them before this is before it was like a well it was it was a play the original play from the 70s or something but that was it was a recording of an album and he made a copy for me I gave it to me and let me keep it so you know it's lovely really nice bloke to do that because I really liked it really like that album so I should listen to it quite a lot at home so in the third year of high school I had

a new teacher because the other one left or retired for RE now I think she was I think she was Hindu or Sikh so this is the first time I'd ever I didn't know anything about other religions I knew I guess I knew they existed I probably saw on telly and stuff but up to that point I'd only ever really heard about you know the Christian Christianity and like Old Testament and stuff like that I suppose Judaism so because Judaism is what Jesus learned wasn't it he was he literally was

brought up in that faith until he sort of kind of did his own thing he started his own club as it were and and it wasn't called do you imagine how much me what that would be like like yeah everyone come around I'm starting a new club what's it called well don't judge me for this before I tell you that's okay what's it called was gonna be a new religion what yeah what's it called well I'd rather other people name it but it feels a bit like self-centered if I named

myself but I kind of someone's gotta name it so I thought I might as well do that did yeah it makes sense so what's it called Christianity what named after you well yeah I'm I'm I'm creating it yeah but but you've named it after yourself yeah this is isn't that a bit much shouldn't shouldn't we be the ones and naming it after you well ideally yes but I'm here on I why don't we just pretend okay I'm gonna say his religion you choose the name nudge nudge and you know and

we'll just we'll use that name about that yeah what do you think anyone where you going where you going what was it one leaving oh I don't know it was named after he left wasn't it so technically there were followers of him but they weren't Chris I don't know who knows but what she did is she started teaching us about other things like Islam and Hinduism which I found very interested and Sikhism I think she was a Hindu she might be a Muslim but I found Hinduism more interested in the

others and Buddhism now I didn't realize that I knew something about Buddhism because I had watched what two things I'd watched on telly monkey monkey you know monkey monkey and and my name is monkey and it go into a cloud and stuff like fly around on a cloud and that's based on kind of maybe not necessarily Buddhist but definitely Eastern kind of traditional stuff and then it was Kung Fu TV show and come with him Kung Fu was from a Shaolin temple which is a Buddhist temple and he learned to

do Kung Fu there so I kind of knew roughly about meditation from what I'd seen on there on that TV show as I knew a little bit about Buddhism and there was these and the wise man the what's his name grasshopper he used to because he was he couldn't see because he was blind but I got in trouble the other day can't say blind anymore I was talking to my friend and it was a while back and I was just like so her son I just said basically her son was

dating someone dating someone and I said oh is she blind too so like like your son is she blind like your son and she said you can't say that that's the wrong thing to say it's inappropriate I said okay so I can't say that what should I say she said it's hearing impaired he's hearing impaired he's not blind it's like okay is this so much everyone has to be so politically correct these days it's like hard work to keep track of it all see what I did there see this bit

is weird looking back my early life wasn't dramatic nothing huge happened that I returned to again the game it was ordinary this is not true it is not true so it's probably because I don't talk much about that stuff so there's a lot of bits missing out of here which don't make sense I almost got a little bit annoyed when I read that it's like we talking about nothing happened like everything happened anything that could happen happened it's like everything every single possible thing that could have happened happened in my

early childhood it was ridiculous I mean I fostered adopted lived in a children's home you name it what's it chapter two childhood awareness as I got older something became clearer to me even if I didn't have words for it at the time I was aware of things not a clever impressive not in a clever or impressive way why not clever or impressive I can be clever just quietly aware I noticed moods silences and the way people behaved when they thought nobody was paying attention I've often said half jokingly that I

was good at drifting I was good at drifting that wasn't something I learned later in life it was already there in childhood I could sit in a room and let my mind wander completely away from what was happening around me my body would stay put but my attention would go elsewhere yeah it's just daydreaming really I mean you could some would call it daydreaming some would call it disassociation it depends it's I used to just I didn't find people very interesting generally it was just you know I don't know not

in a bad way just I've never really had a lot of interest in people and when I'm interested in someone I'm really interested in them but it might only be for a specific reason so it might be because of something they said perhaps they're not well and I want to help them or I suppose if I'm being honest it might be because I'm attracted to them maybe I've fought in the past maybe I like them for that reason and but I might not have known anything about them in order to

be you know to have any other feelings or any other reason to like them but I have met people that I liked that was interested in but not many I guess it's just my natural it's not my natural thing to be interested because some people like really interested and love meeting new people and like it's it's wonderful I don't I don't feel that way I don't have that really it yeah I don't some conversations just seem pointless and I guess that's part of the reason why I do these recordings because

I can tap into that pointless conversation side of me and I've heard so many of these conversations about the weather and about stuff that's of no interest to either the people that are saying it I think sometimes so I can kind of tap into that part of myself when I do these recordings mixed with things I am interested in I wasn't particularly loud or particularly withdrawn just reading this what's it saying about what the heck I joked before that I could disappear without leaving the room and that was already true

back then yeah I don't think I'm necessarily very noticeable I think I can blend into the background a little bit I'm kind of I know it's all about here humor crept in naturally I didn't use jokes to perform or impressed they're more wave of ease intention includes my own well actually I noticed that people were laughing at me when I was saying stuff that I wasn't trying to be funny and although it's nice that I was getting positive attention kind of at the same time I didn't like it because they

were laughing at me so I thought okay the only remedy of this is to purposefully derive it so that they laughed I created the laughter by saying things that were silly and I kept that going for a long time and then I kind of suppose as I grew up I grew older I was able to change it a little bit and maybe I don't know just just be myself which involved part of that but what I noticed sometimes people still do the laughing at me bit I didn't like that so

I'd say something I remember when I was a security guard and there was this bloke another security guard and I was just saying something serious you know just how I'd met someone who went out and you know just I didn't nothing happened between us on the day and even I stayed around her house and all this stuff and he was basically mocking me and I was trying to explain that I was trying to be gentlemen you know and there's something I don't know that kind of attitude or when we've been

times when I've just been telling the joke and the person was acting like I was being serious and mocking me which doesn't happen that often but sometimes it happens when I'm just being genuinely myself if I got my barrier up they can't do it because I'll shoot them down what shoot them down but I'll I'll be verbally prepared you know if I got my barrier down and I'm being absolutely genuine and then they say someone says something horrible yeah that's I suppose if you've got you if you've got your shield

down you're gonna get it's more chance of getting you know feeling it isn't it isn't there yes yes yes yes oh yes yes yes yes I've mentioned I've mentioned many times I didn't really know what I was supposed to be doing even as a child oh even as a child the full stop there was a sense that everyone else had been given instructions that I'd missed that's very insightful yeah I did feel like that sometimes like I don't remember well I've said this a few times over the years I wasn't

at school when they taught us that I must have the day off because genuinely like when when when when and why why are we supposed to do that and when when did anyone who mentioned it who told anybody that we were supposed to do that to behave that way to know how another person thinks and there's been times when I've actually thought to myself that I'm the only person on the planet who can't read minds everybody else seems to be able to read each other's mind or at least they think

they can and I know I can't and other times when it feels like everybody knows everything everybody's an expert on everything everybody knows no one seems to admit they don't know I know it's not true but it's sometimes it felt like that and I know that I don't know I know very little you know compared to the amount of knowledge there is I know just a tiny tiny little speck and when I was younger when I was like a teenager and when I first started work people like my managers supervisors

or colleagues work colleagues they'd ask me a question and I'd be honest and I said I don't know and that used to be like the worst possible thing to say I didn't understand it isn't it better just to be honest I don't know rather than yeah it's like make something up I had to learn as I got older just to make stuff up because people weren't accepting that I was being honest saying that I don't know now I just say I don't know again because nobody can do anything to me

about it no one can say anything no like I'm not I'm not in a position that I was in before if I don't know something I'll say I don't know oh I'll move on from there and try and help the person you know maybe we can find out together or I can try and help you to find out the answer to that back then I didn't maybe think about that you know so it's like if someone says to me 10 years 20 years ago 30 years ago stop by and say

do you know where this place is you know how I get to this place or and I'll say no sorry but now I'm more likely to say wait a sec if I can see anyone that's close by that I know locally I can ask them or I'll say to them the best bet is you go around there go to the petrol station they'll know they'll be able to tell you you know or it is like be a bit more useful rather than I don't know which might be honest but it's

not necessarily useful but I couldn't understand because you know this is when I left school I wasn't I didn't have the knowledge didn't have the answers and I didn't think I was supposed to be lying and I was amazed at how many people would ask me questions expecting me to know the answer and also how many of those people do it ask the question that they already knew the answer to expecting me to know the answer something the garden can hear that very strange sound otherwise what that is and as

with the with the window closed blind imagine if it was outside it'd be huge huge huge huge huge I've got a phone call this morning at 11 o'clock I had no idea who it was don't don't recognize the number why is if I'm not moaning but it seems like nobody ever leaves a message anymore on the answer machine the last time I had a message left on my answer machine on my phone was Oh today 11 o'clock no okay it was last month so forget that though it was a Christmas

so at Christmas you know I've got people sort of wishing me happy Christmas stuff a couple there but then the one before Christmas there was two in November two in November no two in September couple in August three four five six seven eight nine okay so I quite a few in July but July was that was when uncle sausages was in hospital so I was getting a lot of voicemail messages and stuff during that time but generally if it's if it's a telephone number that I don't know I'd like them

to leave a message because they might just change their telephone number so if they phone up and says hi it's Daisy here do you remember that you asked me out a few years ago but I had a boyfriend when I'm free now and I got your number from someone who was laying down on the floor outside a supermarket I don't know whatever and they gave me your number and I thought be really nice to take you out and I've also won the lottery so I'll pay for everything and it'd be

great and maybe we can go for a cruise and I'll buy you a house and everything like that but you're gonna need to call me before the end of the day because otherwise I'm just gonna take off without you and I realize you're not interested if you don't get back to me a message like that I would have heard it and had a call back and my first question would be who are you I don't know you are I think you got the wrong number my name is not Todd you

know but it'd be leave a message text oh this is because some people they'll use someone else's phone when they especially if they think you're not gonna answer their phone number so let's use someone else's phone and the amount of people have done that to me they've had a phone call that they're trying to get through to someone and their phone not going through so in order to find out if they're that person's blocked them or let me use your phone Jay and I'll phone them up and if it rings

it means that they've blocked me but what am I supposed to do what do you mean what am I supposed to say to them I nothing I'll have your phone I'll talk to them what if they don't answer what do you mean if they don't answer they're gonna have my number now on their phone and they're probably gonna call me back at some point because I'm not gonna spend the rest of the year sitting on your sofa I have my own home so now someone else has got my telephone number

and I don't know who they are she said you do know who it is I said I do I know but I forgot until this moment I did and she said you're getting a bit hungry aren't you I said yeah I am she said how long's a podcast been going for how long you've been talking for I said oh about 177 minutes which is hundred and what 60 120 one hour just under just under three hours well no wonder you're hungry when did you last eat I said about half two

what's the time now quarter nine that's like seven hours ago I know what are you gonna do then well I'm bringing the podcast nearer to an end and and then I will have to get some food because you know I'm getting a little bit hungry and she said oh what what what one you're doing is it hypnosis recording I said no sir Let Me Bore You To Sleep okay what are you talking about well it's a Q&A Friday oh cool what questions well that's the thing I didn't have any questions

so I asked chat GPT to ask me some questions ten questions and basically I answered one question what started to do and then I lost track and I ended up talking about writing the book and I spent the last two and a half hours or more talking about writing a book so I'm not quite sure how that came about if I'm honest with you oh perhaps you should just have a rest now and go and get some food I think you're right that's what I'm gonna do that's nice good bye

I know you're not using my phone oh so it is time for me to end this recording and get some food although I'm not like super hungry my tummy is grumbling a little bit so whatever I do eat it would taste yummy yum yum yum yum yum so I would say thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy and be gentle with yourself you deserve to feel safe lots of love bye