(no music) Happy Christmas 2025 LMBYTS #1521 Jason Newland 25th December 2025

Good no that's not that's not the right one. Happy Christmas everybody. Hello, hello, hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland.

And this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. It's the Christmas edition. Yes, it is the Christmas edition.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So yeah, it's Thursday, the 25th of December 2025.

Hello. I've woken up nice and early. It is 10 past 6am.

Oh, I'm raring to go. I woke up raring to go and I've just been. And now I have.

Oh, it's so refreshed. Vinnie woke up with me. And I tried to get him to go back to sleep.

Put the camera away. Put the covers over him. Pat him on the head.

Shouted at him, go back to sleep. Go back to sleep. And that didn't seem to do the trick.

Mind you, it seemed to affect the neighbours. They were banging on the ceiling. Their ceiling, not my ceiling.

That'd be weird, wouldn't it? They knock on the door. Hello, excuse me. Yeah, can we come in? What's wrong? You're making a lot of noise.

Okay, I'll turn it down. No, no. We want to come in.

Why? We want to bang on your ceiling. You haven't got a broomstick we can borrow, have you? But what's the point of you banging on my ceiling? Because we want to let you know that you're making too much noise. No, you need to bang on your own ceiling.

Because that's my floor, isn't it? Your ceiling is my floor. Oh, that makes sense. See, we still need to borrow a broom if you've got one.

A broom or broomstick? Well, why would you have a broomstick without a broom? Well, does anyone have brooms these days? Isn't that what vacuum cleaners replaced about 150 years ago? That's a good point, isn't it? Why would anyone have a broom anymore? I mean, literally, vacuum cleaners replaced the brooms. No one questions that, do they? See, that's what you get on a Christmas day. You get questions answered.

Answers to questions you never knew you needed. What was I talking about? Yeah, I don't know why he'd... Do you think he knows it's Christmas? Then he's thinking, where's my bloody present? I don't know. I mean, he's more in tune with stuff than I am, probably.

Maybe he can sense all his people around on the estate all excited, waking up. Because he's a little kid himself, isn't he? So maybe he's thinking, oh, it's an exciting day. He can pick up the energy from all the local people.

It might be true, you know? It might not even be, you know, with his hearing. Because they have super hearing, don't they? So maybe he can hear. Like, oh, I don't know what people say to themselves.

Oh, it's Christmas. I wonder what's under the tree. I hope, I hope this year it's not coal.

Actually, my stepmum's, I think my stepmum's mother said that one year that she was giving coal because she'd been naughty. So Father Christmas left coal underneath the tree. I wonder how that conversation went.

When actually, the reality is, that's probably a really good present, because it meant they could be warm. I wonder how that conversation went. The dad comes home, you know, the father comes home, good news, good news, sweetheart.

Because they used to call each other sweetheart back then. She said, what's that, babes? Said, I got myself a bag of coal. I can't believe it.

I got a bag of coal, which means we're going to be able to be warm this Christmas. He got himself a bag of coal. How did you do that? He said, oh, I put some shifts in, extra shifts, and as a bonus, I got a bag of coal.

You got a bag of coal? Yeah, yeah. Why do you keep repeating me? I've got a bag of coal. Oh no, I'm just excited.

He said, yeah, yeah, okay, sorry, yeah, I'm excited too. It's like, oh, I just, I can't, I can't believe that we're going to be warm. Oh, Gertrude's going to be happy too.

Gertrude? Our daughter. Oh yeah, Gertrude. Sorry, we hadn't established a name yet, have we? No, that's true.

Oh, storytelling's hard sometimes, isn't it? Yeah, especially when you put no effort in. Like, oh, what can we do? We can, what should we do with a bag of coal? Um, I don't know, there's no room outside. No, there's no room, there's no room in the loft.

No. Why don't we put it underneath the Christmas tree? Yeah, but look at our place underneath the Christmas tree. Well, we could say it's a present.

A present? What kind of present's a bag of coal? I mean, you know, it's a good thing, but for Christmas, it's, it's, it's not a great present, is it? Yeah, but it keeps us warm. I know, practically, it's an amazing thing, but as a Christmas present, I said, we could give it to Gertrude and just like put on a note on it and say, you know, okay, so give it to Gertrude as a present.

Yeah, but I don't know if she'll like it.

Why? Well, she said she wanted some kind of Pokemon doll thing, or was it a Barbie? I don't know, some kind of Barbie, Barbie. It's, it's a new thing that's come out. It's not just Barbie, but it's actually Barbie, Barbie with the character from the movie.

And he said to her, I still, I'm still wondering whether I should give that movie another go, because I just didn't appreciate it. It's something about it. I just didn't, I don't know what it was.

I just didn't, maybe because I've never had a Barbie doll. And she said, yeah, maybe that's what it is. Maybe it'll mean more to you if you had a Barbie doll.

And he said, yeah, but I love that song when it first came out. You know, Barbie girl, I'm a Barbie girl. Yeah, we all know the song.

What? And I just thought I'd like the movie because it was such a huge hit. And I don't know why it just, she said, look, I don't know why you're talking about that. We were talking about Cole, now you're talking about Barbie, the movie.

And he said, yeah, you were saying about if you wanted Barbie, a Barbie doll. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but Cole's a better present, isn't it? Yeah, but I don't think she's gonna see it like that.

Gertrude. She always has been a bit uptight, hasn't she? Yeah. Remember, I dressed her as a boy for that first year of school.

Yeah, well, everyone wore the same clothes back then. It was a war, wasn't it? It was the Napoleon War. You just made that up, didn't you? To try and make it sound like a long time ago.

Yeah, I did. When was the Napoleon War? Why are you asking that question? When you you clearly know that not one person listening to this will be able to tell you that. What the exact date of something that happened hundreds and hundreds of years ago.

There's only two dates. No, there's only about five dates I remember from school. Five dates I remember from night from school is the 26th of August 1981, 82, 83, 84, 85, my birthday, all five years of high school.

And this is this, you know, Christmas and stuff as well. Those are the important days. And the day when I when I left school.

Oh, yeah. Can we focus on Gertrude, please? And Barbie? Okay, okay. So you're saying we should put the bag of coal underneath the tree? The Christmas tree? Yeah.

How are we going to get away with that, though? Because she didn't like the dead turkey last year. No, true. But we had a good meal, didn't we? Yeah, I still think it took ages to cook.

I don't she didn't enjoy getting woken up at six in the morning. You'd think she'd be excited to get up at six to Christmas and to open all her presents. Yeah, but it was a dead turkey.

I mean, even if she was excited before she wouldn't be afterwards. Okay, well, we can have to figure a way around this one. I got it what we could do.

We could do write a present for Father Christmas. And just write on it. The reason you got cold is because you've been a naughty girl all year long.

That's a good solution. Good solution. Oh, babes, that really is good.

That'll make Gertrude happy. So yeah, I think that's what they did. It's for like you because you've been a naughty girl.

You didn't you not allow you not got any nice presents. Barbie. Barbie is.

What do they call it? Ghosting you. Barbie's I'm being ghosted by Barbie. Oh, that was a lot of effort.

I didn't need to put that much effort into that. Oh, what was I even talking about? The old Christmas tree. Christmas tree.

I got myself a Christmas tree. First thing. The first year I lived here.

First year. I did. I did.

I did. I did. I did.

Did. Did. Did.

Right. I need to say thank you to some people. I need to say thank you.

To Ben. This is for my Christmas paper gifts. Thank you to Ben.

Thank you to Diana. Thank you to Suzanne. And thank you to Cheryl.

And also thank you to Cara. So thank you very much for your Christmas paper gifts. Very much appreciated.

And what am I reading here? So I'm just just looking through the internet. I'm just having a quick look. Oh, dear.

I'm not sure that this is going to be a particularly long recording because I'm ever so excited to put the television on. You know, watch television for a change. Just as a, as a nice, to make a difference.

Watch a bit of telly. A little bit of telly. What is this? Oh, okay.

I'll move away from that. Let's see. YouTube.

If I had any people visiting me on YouTube, have they? Have they? Have they? Have they? Was EastEnders on last night? Because I put TV on to watch it at half seven and there was nothing on. Well, there was stuff on, but EastEnders wasn't on. And I don't know why.

Was it on earlier? Maybe that's what it was. I just find it very strange that EastEnders on Christmas Eve. Yeah, Christmas.

No, but EastEnders is on a Wednesday nowadays. I think it's on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I do believe.

Maybe I'm wrong. I'm going to have to be. Yeah, I have to check through that.

I have to just go on to the BBC iPlayer, I suppose. I'll have a little check. So, yeah, it's Christmas.

It's weird how quickly it comes along. Like last night, when I went to sleep, it just, it went quite quickly. I was listening to the radio.

I have to have something playing for Vinnie. It's not for me, it's for him. Because if he hears like snails in a garden, and playing poker or whatever, he just starts barking, which is a little bit annoying.

Once he's fast asleep, he's okay. You know, it takes him a little while to get into that zone. Once he's there, generally, he's gone.

The thing is, he's laying down at my feet, but he's kind of sitting there, and he's still got his, he's looking around. So he's laying flat, like on his belly. But he's awake.

He's not asleep or anything. It's just, it's weird though, because he's facing the opposite way to me. He's facing towards the back of me.

Which he doesn't normally do. I don't know, maybe it's a Christmas thing. Maybe he just likes to do things different.

Oh yeah, I had a Christmas tree the first, the very first Christmas I was here. I don't even know why. I think what it was, when I moved here, this is 2015, I've never really had my own place before.

I mean, this is the first time, you know, I had a, a one bedroom flat, with a front door, that only I've got access to. You know, this is the first time I had all this. And, kind of my own space.

I know it's not a big space, but it's my space. My space, I forgot about that. That's the, that's where I started online.

That's when I started putting my videos and my audio recordings, uploading them on my space. And you know what? Still to this day, I remember how nice it was on there. Maybe it was the times.

I don't imagine it being that different times wise. I mean, people are people, aren't they? But, it, there was just, I don't recall any negativity at all, towards what I was doing. In fact, it was almost the opposite.

I was getting, because I was posting my, like a chronic pain hypnosis session, and people were giving me support. Like, oh, keep going, keep going, that was good, keep going. And I was getting thousands of plays on the videos.

It's just a very supportive community, because I suppose I wasn't hugely aware at the time that my space was built for musicians, pretty much. But it became so popular, because of the social aspect of it. And then Facebook came along and kind of, it just pretty much fell apart.

I don't think it's, does it exist anymore? My space? My space. My space. My space.

Oh, it does exist. Signing. Let's have a little signing, shall we? I just want to see whether or not, because I've revisited every few years, and it did, it actually did still have some of my stuff on there.

Yeah, I think it might be closed now, actually. The page is on there, but I don't know if it's, unless the internet's just going very slow. That is possible.

It's very possible. Oh, I think I've done it. Come on.

Is it letting me log in? App not active. Okay. So, yeah.

What if I don't want to sign in? Can I just not just look at it? Myspace.com. Just look at the first page. That's if it's there. Maybe not.

No, that's not working. I think MySpace is gone. It's not around anymore.

It's depleted. It has left the building. in as it were.

Oh look I've got a few YouTube views. One more subscriber today. That's nice.

I do wonder whether or not I should have got myself some more stuff delivered. I think I'll be okay. It's only two days isn't it? Just like everything kind of closes down for two days and then, so what is it? Thursday, Friday, it's a boxing day and then Saturday all the shops just open again as normal.

Well normal there's the bank holiday, Monday sale, yeah bank holiday. It's quite weird because that the bank holiday, it's not, first of all it's not bank holiday Monday is it? Because it's boxing day is a Friday. But the bank holiday sale seems to last the whole of January in some places.

I mean I see some shops in it like they're doing bank holiday sales all year round. What's that about? What on earth? I don't want to run away, but I can't get out, I don't understand. Yeah, just feeling quite relaxed.

My neighbour downstairs is going to, I think she's gonna cook me some food tonight or today. So that's nice. I've been offered three Christmas dinners and I can't eat.

I remember saying to one last night, I said I've already been offered Christmas dinners by two other people, but if you like I'll take one of the presents from under your Christmas tree instead. They thought I was joking. I'm not sure I'll get invited back.

I'll take this bike, but it's too small for you. It's not too small for me to carry is it? To the pawn shop and get myself a nice £60. What am I doing? Where am I going? I'll put some weight on.

What's weird is I don't feel like on my waist, I don't really feel that I've put weight on. I still relatively slim-ish when I'm standing up anyway, but I'm getting nearly back to a 16 stone again. I'm a quarter of a stone away.

Bear in mind I got down to 14 and a half. So yeah, it's, I don't know, it's strange. I could feel, I thought I felt a little bit heavier.

The thing is 15, 16 stone is not a lot of difference is it really? Not really, not really. Maybe it is, but I'm gonna have to, you know, watch, watch myself with that just for the whole blood sugar level and I am eating chocolate, but it's Christmas. I'll go back to only having two or three chocolate bars a day, an hour in the new year, but right now I'm just gonna, yeah, just gonna yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is really kind of a short recording. It's not short short, but it's not long long. It's just, just to say Merry Christmas, I suppose really, but in a nice boring way, ever so boring way.

And that's it really, just like, hello, Merry Christmas everybody. Lumpity dumpity bum bum bum. What did I watch last night on TV? I didn't actually, I think I just listened to some music because I was doing the editing.

Yeah, because I made a recording. The Whisper Wednesday and then I edited that so that wasn't uploaded and done until like an evening. Yeah, also I uploaded them and then it, the internet started to go slow.

So I ended up having to upload three times to get them done. But it's all done now. It's all groovy.

I wonder how many recordings I've done this year. No, don't, don't go through them all. I'm not gonna go through them all.

Well, I might go through them all. Should we just have a look, see how many Let Me Boy The Sleeps I've done? I mean, technically, I should be looking at, I should be looking at that at the end of the year, literally, shouldn't I? Not Christmas, but it's okay. I'm okay with that.

So let's go all the way down. All the way down. November, October.

Well, a few, I went through a period and I wasn't putting in the dates. Damn me, why did I do that? I've got the dates on here, but just not in the titles. So August.

That's weird. Okay, April. April.

April. Well, how many recordings did I do in April? A lot, according to this. Still in April.

January. Oh, how strange. December 16th.

December the 8th. December the 13th. I wonder why.

Why didn't I have images? Maybe I just went through a phase where I didn't bother with images. I suppose it's possible. Seems a bit strange though.

No images. Oh, well. So 2025.

January. January, February. First, no, January, not December.

January. Now, I'm pretty certain that the 14th of January, 2025, is not my first one. Why? This is all messed up.

This is all over the place. Right. The 1st of January.

2025. 21st of January. No, 1st of January.

I wonder why it's hiding. 4th of January. 2023.

Okay, if I come out of here, it will be the other one. It's kind of lucky that I do have different podcasts. Oh, dear.

1st of January, 2025. 31st of January. 1st.

4th of January, 2025. Okay, we're getting closer, getting closer. These are different ones though.

24th of January. Right. Withdrawal from medication.

I've done quite a few recordings this year. All things considered, that's quite, I mean, to me, fairly impressive that I did as many as I did. 21st of January.

I found it. The 1st of January, 2025. And I'll write this down just in case I forget.

Although, the pen I've got is worn out. I thought that might happen. Why do I, is anyone else done that? Like, I don't mean ever, but just, I keep banging the microphone now.

Just, I think what it is, right, I don't use a pen very often. And when I do use it, it's often because, I just said I don't use it very often now, I just said it's often. No, but I'm on the phone and someone says, oh, here's the number.

Have you got yourself a pen? Can you get yourself a nice little pen, please? I'm like, no, I haven't got a pen. Oh, please, can you go and get one? So I'm like, okay. I'm rushing about getting a pen and writing it down and then I've got to still continue to talk to them.

I'll put the pen down somewhere, forget to put the lid on, it dries up. It just ruins everything. Right, 1st of January, 2025.

Let Me Bore You To Sleep, number 1261. Yeah, okay. I mean, technically, if I want to know how many I've done since the last year, I should go back to the 26th of January.

No, 26th of December. Nevermind. And today's episode is 1521.

So, one takeaway one is zero. Six takeaway two is four. Two takeaway five is nine.

So 12 takeaway five is seven. One takeaway one is nothing. So, is that right? I haven't done 740.

That's ridiculous. See, mathematics was not my strongest thing. So I need to do is come trying to take off something.

So, okay. 1521 takeaway 1261. One takeaway one is zero.

Two takeaway six. That doesn't make any sense. He can't take two away from six.

My brain's not working yet. Okay, so I'll do the way around. Zero.

Five takeaway two is 300. I'll go for one. 300 to 200.

Yeah, it's quite a few. My brain's not working. It's the easiest thing in the world, but my brain is not working.

I totally just got out of bed an hour ago. It's not bad though, is it? 600 in one year. It's nearly every day.

With all the other recordings, it may well be 500. With the hypnosis stuff, I don't know. Five takeaway three, two is three.

Two takeaway six is minus four. So 261. I'm going to do it on a calculator.

I mean, I'm sure it'll be different. It won't be different. It'll be the same because, you know, obviously, I'm a mathematician.

So I started off at 1261. Or 1521. Is it? That's what we're here now.

1521 takeaway 1261. 13,960 episodes I've done this year. That's more than I realized.

This explains why I got sacked from my job as an accountant. 1261. All right.

So 1521, 1521 takeaway 1261, 1261. 260 recordings. I mean, it's not every day, is it? But it's nearly.

If there's 260 days in a year, that would be every every day. Instead of 242 or whatever it is. I just had an idea.

Christmas pudding flavored Pringles. That would work. Or cranberry flavored Pringles.

This is not a bad idea. Take this, you know, if you're business minded, take this idea. I mean, I don't say take it to the dragon's den or the shark tank or whatever you your one is in your country called.

Just give me 10%. I don't need to be involved in the business just 10% of profits. Something like that would keep me going.

I reckon I could really something, you know, company was doing well. Can you imagine if you invested in Microsoft or I said too far back but something like Amazon. So if I was friends with Amazon man, he was my neighbor and he's like, I'll be like, what you up to? What do you mean? Well, heard you like, in the garage.

It's almost like you're up to something. No, I'm not up to anything. Are you sure you're not running some kind of business outside of your garage because you have to have permits to do that? No, do anything.

Why do you keep having books delivered? I like books. Fair enough. I'm curious.

Imagine if you're friends with him, like any money because he can't. He's got no bookshelves. He's got no, nothing to work from got no nothing to can't afford the materials.

He say, you know, what is 500 pound by all the materials you need. Don't worry, I'll pay you back. I know you don't need to pay me back.

I'm sure there's some other way we can work this out. Oh, no, no, I'm not like that. I'm married.

No, I don't mean like that. What? No, I'm saying I'll take a percentage of a company. What for 500 pound? You think 500 pound is going to buy any part of this company? Well, 10 minutes ago, you said you didn't even have a company.

It was just you cleaning out the garage. There wasn't you weren't doing anything. Now you're what? I'm on a multi whatever tycoon typhoon.

Well, what percentage do you want? 10% of course. Dan, Dan, Dan, I was going to give you 15. Nope, 10.

That's what I want is 10. Nothing more, nothing less. How much is a 10 pounds going to make worth now? And he said nothing.

I said, uh, he said, yeah, it's gonna be about another 20. Maybe not 20 years, but another 10 years before we make any kind of profit. 10 years.

Yeah, 10 years. Oh, yeah, exactly. Oh, we all have that feeling.

And how long has it been? 10 years. So you're talking 20 years before you make a profit? Yeah. But you wait when we do make a profit is going to be instant.

Wealth instant. We'll all be billionaires straight away. I said, when you say all of us, all of us, all of us.

I wonder how much gold is worth. So if I'd have bought, let's say, if I bought 1,000 gold, right, if I bought 1000 pounds worth of gold in 1988, it would be equivalent to approximately 2,672. So really worth it for 1000 pounds, isn't it? I wonder what will be on TV today.

My tummy's grumbling because it's time for brekkie, brekkie time. It's like daddy, can you give me some food, please? It's time for food. It's breakfast.

Breakfast time. It is breakfast time. There's a lot of musicals on TV at this time, isn't there? Bedknobs and broomsticks.

I fell asleep then. I fell asleep as I was talking, like mid-sentence, I fell asleep. How strange.

Anyway, that's the end of this here recording. Thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself.

You deserve to be happy and be gentle with yourself. You deserve to feel safe. Lots of love.

Remember also that you are enough and you're going to be okay. Bye.