(music) #1249 My dating prowess - Let Me Bore You To Sleep (5th December 2024)

Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name's Jason Newland, this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. I've already said that, why am I saying it twice? My name's Jason Newland, and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

It's a hat trick! And Vinnie's now going, I don't know what he wants, he wants my attention. As soon as I don't give him my, it's weird, because I'll be at the computer, listening to some music or something. I have to have something on for him.

I'm quite happy to sit in silence. Genuinely, I'm like, when I'm in bed, I'd rather just have nothing. No music, no audio book, no radio, apart from Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

So I listen to a radio show. Nick Abbott, between 10 and 1 in the evening. That's just my weekly thing.

However, Vinnie, if there's no background sound as such, he gets very triggered by outside sounds. Like a neighbour closing a door, or opening a door, or farting, or anything, really. He can hear dogs from miles away.

Which is ironic, because he can never hear me when I tell him what to do. When I tell him to come back to me, or when I tell him, you know, to stop doing something, he doesn't hear me. But he can hear a butterfly from 6,000 miles away.

Burping. So, I did some real, I don't know if I told you, I'm doing weights every day. Three times a day.

And it's just very basic, really just gradually increasing the reps. So I only do, I don't do sets, I just do reps. So the squats with weights, now up to 100.

I can do 100, I don't want to say easily, but I could do more now. I also exercise my forearms by moving the weights back and forward, like, just moving my wrists, basically, while I do the weights. So I do that 100 times as well.

I do curls, these are with dumbbells, I do curls, I could probably do about 50 curls, fairly comfortably. Well, you know, it's not comfortable, comfortable, but I can do 50. And I don't know what they're called, but the ones where I sit down and I push the weights up above my head from the side, I do about 50 of those.

It's just gradually gone up from about 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, you know, over time. And it does get easier, you know, it's just, it is. The first 10 or 20 is just not even any effort, really.

But the other day I thought, hmm, I will, I'll try and do some of the old fashioned stuff. So I could go back to doing some curls, some bicep curls. But what I'll do is I'll do as many as I can do.

And then I put the weights down and wait a minute or two. So I let myself recover a bit. And then I go back and do as many as I can do.

And then put the weights down again. And then wait a minute or two, an hour or two, I should have waited really. I went back and did as many as I could.

To the point where I was struggling to even do a couple. And that was about three days ago. And my biceps are still hurting.

Not like, not damaged. Well, I guess they were damaged because that's how you build muscle. You break the muscle down and then it repairs.

But it's like, it's weird because I've been doing weights for um, every day for months and months and months and months and months. And I never really, I feel kind of, I'm getting a bit stronger a little bit and, but there's never any immediate like pain. You know, you know, like when you go to the gym, if you haven't been to the gym for a while and you ache, I don't have that because I'm doing it every day.

I don't normally have that. I do now in my biceps. It's, it's weird.

And I can't do my biceps until it, I feel like I need to, I'm still doing the other weights, but I can't, I can't really, don't feel real comfortable, don't feel comfortable doing the bicep curls while they're hurting. I need to let them heal first. So I'll just have to do some other exercises and then get back on them.

But it kind of surprised me. I didn't, I mean, I could have just done three sets of 10, but that wouldn't have even been hard, you know, it's, I mean, they're not heavy weights, which is probably why it wouldn't be that hard. But I thought there's no point doing this, doing the sets because, you know, I do the repetitions there, but if I do have a break and do some more, there's no point doing it if it's not going to actually do anything.

I said do quite a lot there, didn't I? A lot of do-do's going on. Oh, by the way, only listen when you can safely close your eyes. And I do have a website, which I've had for decades, but it's now, for some reason, I'm kind of pleased with how it is.

It's how I want it to be, and that's how it's going to be for at least a year. For the next year, even though I want to devote every single second of my time to creating stuff on the website, I'm not talking about new recordings, I mean just building bits and stuff. I'm not going to.

I say that, but I have been working on it already today and yesterday, but I'm going to try and pull back from that because that really, well, I do enjoy it, so I guess it's not a bad thing. It's just there's this need inside my head to try and organise all of my recordings, which is a really big task due to how many recordings I have. In fact, the other day, I had, let's see if I can, I think it was Ray, a man called Ray contacted me, and I'll borrow a big shout out to Kara, Vinnie calls her Christmas tree Kara.

Did I tell you, Vinnie's got a friend, he calls her nanny treats. Every time she sees him, it's almost like, I don't think she remembers this. I don't think she remembers me, and she actually asked me my name the other day, for the first time.

Some people do that after I've seen them for a couple of years. And Vinnie loves her, and she loves Vinnie, sort of like she falls in love with him for the first time, every time she sees him. And she remembers him sometimes, other times, she's like, oh, what's his name? Even though I've told her many times, but she loves him.

And she gives him treats. She doesn't have a dog, I think she used to, but she doesn't have a dog of her own now. And I told her that he calls her nanny treats.

And she said, well, my name's actually Dorothy, or whatever her name was, I can't remember. I said, no, it's nanny treats, that's what he calls you. So, she absolutely adores him.

Do you ever get someone tell you their name, and it's literally forgotten, before it even enters your ears? It's like it's a missile being shot down. It's just weird, like, my name's Eric. Gone, like, no, didn't even get to my brain.

My website, okay. Oh, no, I was trying to find that person. So let me have a look.

If I go out of there, go into this one and look for messages. No, it's not that one. I've got no idea where it is then.

Where is it? Um, that's weird. I genuinely do not know where. The problem is I've got too many different accounts and too many different things.

Let's see if it's on here. It might be on here. Is it on here? No, it's not on here either.

So I've got no idea. Genuinely don't know. It was, I think his name's Ray.

But no idea where I saw the message. It's got, maybe it's on my phone. Perhaps it was on Instagram.

Instagram, let's have a look. Messages on Instagram. Yes, it was Instagram.

Maybe it wasn't. Why is, oh, right. I can't seem to find the blooming thing.

Chats, right. So if I go back to this. I can't find it.

Jason. Nope. I really.

Right, I can't find it. Anyway, it was really lovely message and for some reason it's just hiding from me. But Ray asked me which, if I knew which Let Me Bore You To Sleep episode, has me talking about Adele.

And he said that he thought I originally called it Adele's songs scare me. Now, I do recollect talking about Adele. I do, I do, I do.

Because I think I sort of went through some of her lyrics. And oh my dear, I found it. I've just, I just googled it.

I found it. It's number 575. Let Me Bore You To Sleep number 575.

Now, it's on iVoox. 575 Adele's songs scare me. And it was the 6th of January 2021.

Okay, that's interesting. I wonder if it actually comes up. It does come up.

Does it play though? Does it play? Does it play? Don't let the commercials keep you waiting. Right, so according to this, I'm going to go on to mute just so I don't have to, so it doesn't disrupt the actual recording I'm doing now. Does it play? You can start the music.

Play. No, it's not playing. But yeah, so it's from probably a different podcast.

It's probably from the podcast that got deleted. So it was a Let Me Bore You To Sleep one that got deleted. So what I ended up doing is uploading a new Let Me Bore You To Sleep podcast.

But a lot of them didn't have the titles anymore, or the dates, or the images. And that's one of them. So it's number 575 Let Me Bore You To Sleep Adele's songs scare me.

6th of January 2021. Ray said it was funny, so he wanted to listen to it again. So I found it, Ray.

I'll post that on my Facebook group. I wonder if I could find, I might be able to find the titles for more of my recordings. And that's a new thing I can set myself for.

So that's another week's worth of work. Just to find the titles of the old recordings that I don't have titles for. Yeah, I had some good titles.

I had some good images as well. But going back a couple of years, so many images are pretty good. And I think for the first 100 or so, maybe 200, I might not have had titles.

But then I started giving them titles. Just read a lot of them was really random titles. I had nothing to do with a recording at all.

So my Facebook group is Jason Newland's Boring Group. My YouTube channel is at Jason Newland. I've got over 2000 videos on there.

My website. I'll just quickly go through that is. I've got is the height is basically it is a podcast now.

So all the latest recordings are on there. I've also got a page for episodes, which is pretty much the same page as that. But I think it only shows the most recent 400 recordings, which is technically quite a lot, you know, but not compared to how many thousands I've done.

And I'm talking about all the recordings, not just the Let Me Bore You To Sleep ones. So there's a few ways around it. And I can fix the issue.

But it would take it might take six months to do it. It's three months or four, you know, take a long time to do all that. And one of the problems I have is once I get it's not necessarily a problem.

It's a good thing if I'm if I'm doing something useful, I guess. But when I focus on one thing, I tend to get a bit all encompassed into it. So it's for example, if I was going to go on to Spreaker and make a podcast for each and every not just the different podcasts, but also break them up by numbers or by years.

So I do like 2017, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24 for the Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Or is it 2018, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24. And then I go back to the Deep Sleep Whisperer and I can do it by year.

You know, or by number. So that's quite a few different podcasts. And then I can add them to the.

Yeah, add them to the to the overall thing. I'm just yeah, it's just it's not just the fact it's going to take ages. It's going to also be quite expensive.

So I'm probably not going to do that right now. So on the website, it's pretty good, actually. So you've got there's a section in the menu podcasts, which lists all of the podcasts I've got.

So hypnosis, sleeping deeply, Let Me Bore You To Sleep, chronic pain, Deep Sleep Whisperer, Jason's Bedtime Storytime, Let Me Boy Your Pain Away, Relaxation for Stress and Panic Attacks, Relax to Sleep Hypnosis Daily, Sleep E Boring Objects, Stop Smoking Hypnosis, Stress and Pain Relief and Stop Nail Biting. They're all individual podcasts. So you click on those links that will take you to those individual podcasts.

The other thing is reviews. So there's a I've only got one review on this website so far, because I've only had the website for about three days, four days, but in its current format. Oh, wait a minute.

That's weird. It's got a review, but it's not allowing me to no wonder people aren't leaving a review because it hasn't got leave a review on it. I'm telling people go to the review section.

But there's no section that's on there that says leave a review. How? Okay. If you leave a review on the podcast you're listening, whether it's Apple podcasts, whether it's Spreaker, whether it's Spotify, wherever it is, if you leave a review on there, it'll come up on the website automatically.

There is also a way that I can add a review section. So I have to look at that. There's a contact page.

So you can send me an email. I've also got information about the background music that I use in this, which is copyright free as the music's deep relaxation from Kevin MacLeod in compotect.com. And there's a picture of him as well. He's nearly as handsome as me.

There's a Facebook group, which is Jason Newland's boring group. There's a link to that as well. I've currently got 200 members.

So it's a small group, but it's small but sexy. There's a link to my YouTube channel, which is YouTube at Jason Newland. That's my YouTube handle or whatever you want to call it.

So yeah, and PayPal link, follow link so you can follow me as well. I don't know if that's, well that seems to be playing up that page. So I might get rid of that.

So it keeps taking me to, I don't know why, it's taking me to a different page. I need to look up, look that up at the moment. Yeah, that's, that's strange.

I need to update Apple podcasts. However, if for any reason, your podcast host is not playing my update advert, it's not updating or it's changing or it's, you can't find my stuff on there. Admittedly, probably won't be listening to this for you if you can't find it.

But remember, jasonnewland.com, that's the host. You'll always be able to listen to the latest recordings there. Because it is a podcast in itself.

I just think it's worth remembering because then you can, I don't know is it, I suppose it's a lot easier to use your own podcast host but this is a podcast. So I don't think there's a huge difference. Also with this you can not only can you play it, you can rewind 10 seconds, you can jump forward 30 seconds.

You might want to jump forward 10 hours probably with mine. You can also change the speed. So times one, 1.5 or two times.

You can change the volume. You can download the episode. This is for each individual episode.

You can also share the episode on X, Facebook, Blue Sky, whatever that is. Instagram, Pinterest, Whatsapp, Telegram, Reddit and by email. So you can share all my stuff man if you want.

I went to the, oh it's raining today. I've already got through one pair of trousers with the rain. Yeah, it just scares me how I ended up weeing myself.

No, I just, I don't, it's the only weather, only weather that kind of gives me a little bit of a, a bit, I'm not a big fan of getting wet. Even in Thailand I got wet when I was in Thailand many years ago. I got soaking wet and it weren't cold.

I mean it was the opposite to cold. But I was furious and I'm walking down the road, I mean completely, I don't feel I've ever been that drenched in my life. When I was walking, the water was pretty much above my shoes as well.

It was flooding. That's the only way I could get, I forgot my canoe, the one day I forget my canoe. And I'm walking past these bars, they're all raised up.

There's a reason why all the shops are raised up and it's a big step, you've got to walk up to get to them because the streets flood. There's a good like, yeah, well, well above your ankle, the floods, like sometimes they go over the steps so they'll be as high as your knees. And then a couple of days later it's all drained away.

So it doesn't stick around, like the floods in this country seem to stick around for a long time. And there's a road around the corner that gets flooded every now and then. I don't, I think I've seen it, oh I've got itchy, itchy leg, oh.

I think I've seen it flooded twice. There was once when it was flooded, this is when I had Andre and my friend downstairs, we used to, we were walking down that road and he, because he's a lot taller than me, I don't know how that makes any difference, but I think he was wearing shorts, that makes a bit of difference. And I think he had Crocs, so he was walking through the water, didn't really bother him.

And because he's taller than me, it looked like he was walking on the water. And that makes no sense whatsoever, does it? And I'm, but he's managing to avoid the deep parts, it's like it looks fairly shallow, so I'm, I think okay I'll follow him. And I end up up to my knees in water, in fact I think I tripped over.

You know what happened then? One of the neighbours who was standing on their driveway, which is all like a hill, because they've clearly been built on a place where it floods, they said, oh you can walk through our driveways if you want. After I'd fallen in. After.

They could see me walking, trying to get through it, didn't offer me when I was dry. I don't know if it was they were offering it, just as a reward for entertaining them, maybe. Giving them a little giggle.

And my friend just walked through, it didn't go up, you know, went up to about his ankles. He had Crocs, he just, just helped him wash his feet, that was it. Didn't bother him.

Me, I was completely, he managed to not hit the ditches. Oh my legs itchy. I think it's time to have another wash, but I already had one this year.

Oh in Thailand, this is what I realised, because I was walking home, wasn't a long way. But it was a long way, when that amount of rain, because they have like, probably couldn't have a month's rain in an hour, compared to here, like an hour's worth of rain here, no, a month's worth of rain here. I'm exaggerating, but I'm just, it's a hell of a lot.

Like, the term bucketing in, bucketing down, bucking, bucket, bucking it down, bucking it down, bucking, bucking, ding, ding, down, you know, like someone pouring a bucket of water on you. That is what it felt like. But multiple buckets, like it's the, it's like standing under a waterfall.

Which is something I've never done, so I don't know if it is like standing under a waterfall at all, probably not. It's very, very, very hard rain. It was, so I'm walking towards the place I was staying, and there's people in the bar, all nice and dry, laughing in my direction, come and have a drink.

They would say, that's when I realised that the grumpy side of me, the moody side of me, wasn't left at home. I don't leave that, it comes with me wherever I go. It's very strange, you know, that whole idea of maybe being on holiday and, you know, not taking things seriously, and not, you know, not being affected by things that perhaps I would normally be affected by.

That wasn't the case. I was equally affected. Affected.

I mean, admittedly, it's rare that I would get completely drenched. Although it has happened multiple times over the years. There's one time I remember I was, it was 1995.

It was in the summer. I had a t-shirt, trousers, jeans or something like that. But it wasn't a t-shirt, I think it was a, it was a shirt, but it was a silk shirt, but like really thin, and I was really thin as well.

And it was kind of, it was like the old joke, I'd have to run around in the shower to get wet, I was that skinny, but I was, I was really, really, really slim. So this is 1995. It's a thunderstorm, but really heavy rain.

I'm walking to, I don't know where I was going. I did know at the time, you know, I was heading somewhere, but I don't remember now where I was going. It might have been to collect my laundry.

Although I think I had a washing machine where I was living. I really don't know. Maybe I was going up to the off-license.

But there was a shop open around the corner. I don't know where I was going, but, oops, knocking stuff over now. I'm walking down this road and I see a lady who I was, or had been dating.

It was kind of one of those relationships that just fizzled out to nothing. I mean, it didn't start off particularly exciting for either of us anyway, but it just fizzled out. It was like almost, there was no real, no real chemistry there, you know, not even, we'd get on, but we didn't particularly want to spend time with each other, which is not a good start for a relationship.

And I saw her, I was going through a bit of a difficult time anyway, with my physical health, because I'd been ill, I'd had problems with my stomach for about six months, seven months. And anyway, I'd, that was stress-related apparently, it turned out. So I'm walking and I'm getting absolutely soaked.

And she stops, and we end up having a conversation, she's getting absolutely soaked, she's got a t-shirt on. I'm starting to find her attractive again. And it was a weird moment, because there was nothing there, and there was nothing to talk about.

I think I was just not good company. That was the kind of situation, I wasn't good company, I was just going through some, you know, just self-pitying or whatever. And that's the whole story, I don't know why I haven't talked about it.

And then I walked on, and went to where I was going, I don't know where it was. I just remember being absolutely drenched. And it was lovely.

Because it was warm, it was a sunny day, well it wasn't a sunny day, obviously, but it was sunny somewhere. The sun was out, otherwise we wouldn't be able to see each other, would we? But it was a proper, I guess it was more like a summer storm. You could say that about any storm that was during the summer, couldn't you, I guess.

But absolutely soaked, to the point where, and I didn't wear glasses at the time, that I couldn't even keep my eyes open. And neither could she. Although she had, she was holding an umbrella, so I think it was more just through boredom.

Why didn't I have an umbrella? I think I was, I still want to sort of say, when I say umbrella, like umbrella, Ella, Ella, Ella. Weird thing about this lady, I'm not going to say anything personal about her. And she was a comedian.

I would, well, we were both doing like open spots, just still, you know, doing comedy. And she was just starting out. I'd been doing it for a few years, very unsuccessfully.

She was just started out. I mean, she, I don't know if she went on to continue doing it. I don't, we don't know.

However, she, one of my friends, or someone that I knew, that I'd known since 91, and we often would walk home together from Shoreditch all the way to Stratford, because he lived, he didn't live right near me, but he lived up the road from me. So he lived more probably in the Forest Gate area, and I lived in Stratford. So we'd walk that way.

And he, you know, it was, it was a good way to walk off the, the booze. Although it was, I didn't drink much back then. So we'd talk and, you know, it was quite a long walk.

You'd sort of get down, come out of Liverpool, no, come out of Shoreditch, turn right, and then head. Yes, sometimes we would go to Liverpool Street to try and get the train or the bus. Well, the train's too late, so we wouldn't be getting out there till two o'clock in the morning.

Sometimes we'd try and get a bus, but if it didn't turn up, we'd walk. So we'd, we'd walk down to Whitechapel, then all the way down Whitechapel Road, and then turn left, which there, which would lead to Stratford. Yeah, Whitechapel, Whitechapel leads to Mile End.

So there must have been like a cut-off point where I can't remember exactly, but it turns into, there's a cut-off turning, which then leads to Stratford. We did that loads of times, like numerous, numerous times. And it was quite nice, you know, having someone to do the walk with.

I mean, I did it on my own sometimes, but preferred it to be with someone really, because being around that time of night in that area. Anyway, I saw him in a club, comedy club, probably during 1996. And he came up to me and he said, uh, did you, did you sleep with whatever her name is? Or did you have a thing with her? This is the lady that I was talking about earlier, the wet t-shirt, no, no, the lady I was kind of seeing.

And then I stopped seeing her. And he said, did you, you've been with her, have you? I'm like, well, what's it got to do with you? First of all. And he's saying, well, people have told me on the circuit that you and her were together and she wanted to, me and her, she wants to get together with me, but he keeps saying that nothing happened between you two, but, um, I want to hear it from you.

I can't remember what I told him. That's an anti-climax to the story. Admittedly knowing myself back then, I probably would have told the truth.

I don't know, but it seemed like it was to me, it's no one's business. But the idea of being with her after her being with me, didn't, it kind of had the opposite effect to Viagra. That's what I'm saying for him.

Wasn't quite the, wasn't quite the tonic. So yeah, I don't really know what, what happened there. And then I saw her, which is ironic.

I saw her quite locally and she said, can you tell him that nothing happened between me and you? Because he won't come near me. I said, no, what's he got to do? Why have I got to help? What? It's nothing to do with me. You deal with him yourself.

I'm not going to start trying to pretend that something didn't happen when it, that had happened just so that you can get your oats or whatever you want to call it. It wasn't, I was trying to stop their relationship if that's what it was, but just leave me out of it. I don't mind though.

It's nothing to do with me. I had a similar thing at Churchill. There was, there was this, this female and she, she kept smiling at me.

I don't know what department she worked in, but she'd come around and hand out letters and do stuff. She was in the admin department. I don't know what exactly what her job was.

And she came down one day, I was on the phones or maybe off the phone, but I was sitting down at the desk. It's his insurance. And she started, she smiled at me.

And then she started saying hello to me when I saw her. And I really didn't know what to make of it because you know, my, my self-esteem wasn't huge at that point. After moving away from London, I lost my mojo completely.

My mojo was very much intact in London. When I left London, my mojo just become a, just became a Joe, basically. And so I said, well, we ended up going out for, for lunch together, like during normal lunchtime.

I just had a couple of drinks in the pub, got chatting and it turns out she had a boyfriend. It was a completely, I don't know. I mean, she was nice, nice person.

And I used to see her outside of work as well because she, she left and she had a job in a restaurant and I'd see her. No, it's not a restaurant. It was a place you could go and eat.

Well, you know what a restaurant is, JJ? I know, I don't, you know, there's different restaurants, isn't it? This was a place where you could, more like an eatery, somewhere that you can get food. Yeah, that's a restaurant. No, what I mean is, it's more like a cafe, like a, like a midway between cafe and restaurant, like a public place with tables, but they serve food.

But it kind of also served coffee as well. But it wasn't a coffee place. Unless it was a coffee place.

In which case, it was a coffee place that served food. But we used to go in there. And that was when I was going in there with my Buddhist friends after I left Churchill.

And she was in there. So I used to see her and yeah, she's lovely, lovely person. Nothing ever happened because she had a boyfriend and I don't think she was particularly interested in me really, to be honest.

And then someone came up to me, someone I worked with in a different team. He said, if you, you got, you got off with, I don't know what her name was, Tina. Let's just for example, say Tina.

I don't, that wasn't her name. But she had a more, quite an exotic name actually, I can't remember. Tashawna or something like that.

But she, and he said, I heard you got off with whatever. And I was like, again, my, my attitude and responses. So what, you know, why are you asking me that? What, what business is that of anybody's? And she said, oh, me and her, and she asked me out for a date and, well, we were going to get together, but someone told me that you'd gone in his, in his words, you'd gone there, you'd been with her.

I said, well, in this instance, I just said, put him straight. I wasn't hugely a fan of the conversation because the idea that he'd discussed it and that he'd, she'd been with me or that she might have been with me, like that was, I didn't like that. However, I kind of know where he's coming from in it to a degree.

Maybe he just didn't want to step on my toes. He wanted to make, make sure there was nothing going on there. And I assured him, I said, no, no, I said, yep.

Every night of the week. I said, no, nothing happened. There's nothing going on between me and her.

And that was it. But it's like gossip. They must, someone, someone must have seen us together in the pub and gone back there.

Jason and, um, fellatio was together, you know, but nothing, nothing happened. I didn't date one person. The whole time I worked in insurance, I didn't date one person that worked in insurance.

Not once. It wasn't through not wanting to, it just, as I said, my mojo was gone. I gradually got my mojo back in 2005.

After a four year hiatus of pretty much nothing. I had three girlfriends in 2005. And then yeah, 2007.

When I know 2006, I had a girlfriend and then 2007, I had a girlfriend. And then again, nothing for years. Let's go through these peaks and troughs, if you want.

Peaks and troughs, is that the right word? Although there was, there was this, an incident did happen at Churchill. We went to, it was a gala, like a ball, a summer ball or something. I got very drunk.

Everyone got very drunk. But someone did, I think it was a lady, I'm pretty sure, basically grabbed me and started kissing me. Like dragging me on the dance floor and kissing me.

So I was just standing at the sides. So we'd all had our dinners and lunches or whatever. I took a packed lunch.

I didn't. And we bought the builder lunchbox. And she started kissing me.

But I don't remember who it was. Genuinely don't know who it was that did it. And she just disappeared.

I mean, she didn't literally disappear. And if that was a case, and that would explain why. All my girlfriends leave me.

That was weird. Yeah. But I mean, that wasn't a relationship, was it really? I did ask out a receptionist in my second insurance job.

I regret that. And it's almost like the worst person to ask out. It's just in a sense of, I had to go past her multiple times a day.

After she said no, I mean, she did just say no flat out. I'm not sure she laughed. But she did say no.

And we were getting so well and she was, I don't know, I don't know if she was flirting or just being friendly. Well, I do know she wasn't flirting now. But at the time, I didn't know she was.

Tell me if you think this is flirty or not, if this is flirting. So this is me. Morning.

This is her. Hi. So that'd be in the morning and I come out, go to lunch, I come back afternoon.

And this is her. Hi. And then I'd be leaving.

I said, Yeah, good night. See you tomorrow. And she'd be Bye.

So tell me, did I get the wrong signal? Because I know it can happen. But it clearly did happen. I thought she was into me.

There's one day, I think I went up to the reception, because I thought, I'll just see if I can get into a conversation with her. And I said, so what? I knew she had a holiday coming up. I don't know how I knew.

No, it might not be in a holiday. That sounds really freaky. And how do you know what she's doing? No, I think it was there was the Easter holiday or bank holiday coming up.

So I thought, okay, I'll just, you know, sort of say, so what you're up to this bank holiday? And she said, none of your business. If that's not flirting, what is? There was another time. And was it? Oh, yeah, she had actually been on holiday.

She came back. She wasn't there for a week. And I missed her tremendously.

And I'm sure she missed me as well. And I actually told her that. I said, Do you have a nice holiday? She said, Yes, thanks.

And I said, Did you miss me? She said, Look, I'm trying to work. I have to be friendly to people. But you're making it very difficult for me.

I just need to be left alone to do my job. I don't want you to keep coming up and talking to me. And can you please just leave me alone? If that's not flirting, what is it? Hey, that's not flirting.

There was another time. I just came in and I gave her is like a little I didn't want to get flowers, because that just seemed a little bit a little bit presumptuous. And clearly she liked me and it's in my head.

I'm like, okay, with flowers. And I kind of decided on a plan. So I did.

I walked in, I said to her. Hi. You all right? Afternoon? It was after, because I went to lunch and came back.

She said, Hi. And I said, I got you a gift. She said, Oh, please don't.

What? You got me a gift? So yeah, I got you a gift. I was going to get you some flowers. And I thought, no.

So I didn't think you know, it'd be a bit a little bit inappropriate to get you flowers. And I thought by getting you a plant. I didn't know kind of what plant you'd like.

So I was going to get you flat, I was going to get you some chocolates, but I thought you probably don't need, you know, that might put weight on so that might not be a good, good thing for you. So I thought. And what I thought I'd do is I'd get you two presents.

So here's your first present. And I put it on the on the desk on the counter, you know, the reception. He said, What is it? I said, It's a cactus.

You bought me a cactus? Yeah, it's a cactus. I mean, technically, I bought it for you. But I found it in the bin.

But it's fine. It's okay. I washed the vomit off.

Well, I wiped it off. And there you go. It's a happy, happy Tuesday.

So for happy romantic, just say happy Tuesday. She said it's Thursday. I said, Okay.

It's fine. She's playing hard to get. It's okay.

She's and I said, I've got another present. She said, Okay. I said, Well, I'm trying to you know, because I wanted to lead up to asking her out.

So I thought if I did this as a gesture, then I could lead and she'd like like me. She'd because clearly she liked me because she was giving off all the vibes of being really interested. And I thought, What can I get her? So what I did is I got some, I gave him to like in a package.

And it's like, there you go. I said, I didn't I didn't put it in wrapping paper, because I just bought it. And I didn't have any wrapping paper.

And she said, Okay, and she looked at it. And she looked up at me. She showed it to her because there was another person on the reception as well.

It was two people who showed it to them. She gave a weird look. And I was a friend, but the other receptionist said, edible underwear.

You bought edible underwear. Are you serious? And I said, That's not all. And I knelt down.

And I said, Would you like to go on a come out on a date with me? And she said, I can't see you when you're kneeling down. I said, Okay, so she didn't really hear me. I didn't say very loudly.

She said, You need to speak a bit louder as well. I said, Okay. Do you ever lose control of the volume and talk way too loudly by accident? Because that's what happened here.

I said, Do you want to go out on a date with me? But I kind of shouted it. The office just like through to the office where all the people were talking, suddenly became quiet. And I thought, that's not a good sign.

And the receptionist that I was asking out started throwing stuff from behind the reception like stapler, she started throwing bits of like pads of paper, pens. And I thought, that's also not a good sign. Well, after all that, it turned out that she didn't want to come out on me.

And that was very awkward. Because from then on, I had to kind of keep walking past her. I mean, technically, I didn't have to keep walking past her.

But, you know, during in order to leave the building, I had to walk past her. That was the only way past or if I went upstairs, I'd sort of see her. Yeah, that was difficult.

That's just so hard as it's really hard to know where people's minds are. You know, if you kind of you get the vibe that someone likes you really likes you, but it's easy to get mixed mixed signals. But as soon as she said no, I just said, well, I couldn't talk.

So I was crying. But I'd like just I went back to my desk and they sent me home until a disciplinary the next the next Monday. But yeah, it was part of that was quite good working there.

That's very strange. There was there was someone I liked there. And but she was just a bit young for me.

I was 31 and I think she was like 18 or nine, probably at 19. And I got on really well with her. But she's yeah, she's this is a different person I've got to my genuinely got on well with.

I did have a female friend that I got on really well with that spent quite a bit of time together outside of work, but we never we didn't have a romantic relationship. But we did spend a lot of time together. I just figured that she spent so much time with me that she didn't couldn't have any feelings.

I always find that the best way to ruin a relationship is to spend time with someone. And that generally works for me. Oh, there was a year there was someone I liked in the second insurance job.

Actually, there was this there was this female in the first insurance job. But if you never see someone you just like, get a get a vibe or wrong vibe about them. They just don't don't like that person for no reason at all really.

But there was this this female young female and I just like just she never spoke to me never acknowledged me. And to this day, we would never would have spoken to each other. But which makes me think it might have been her.

Wow. We at the ball, the summer ball. I was put next to her.

Don't know why, but I was sat next to her. She wasn't in my team. She wasn't even in my company.

She was in the sales department. But way away from me. I didn't know didn't even know what her name was.

So she was sitting next to me. It turned out she was absolutely delightful, a delightful person. Lovely, funny, interesting, really nice.

And I had this different impression of her when I see her walking around. Yes, this is weird. Like, I try not to be judgmental.

Try not to be I'm a human being. Well, partly human sometimes. So but it's weird how well we got together.

We got on together. Unless she's the one that kissed me. I don't think she liked it because she disappeared.

So whoever it was that did kiss me at that ball. They I don't know if they just left left the company. I don't know who.

They definitely left the dance floor. I think it might it's very dark though. So I couldn't see them perhaps.

This I imagined it. In fact, I think it was two women kissed me. I say if you're gonna lie, you might as well make it a better lie.

And it might exaggerate the lie. It was 100 100 100 100. 10 million.

I don't think there's any other. I did have one one of the one lady invite me to watch the fireworks with her at her house. But I couldn't be bothered.

So I said no, she was in my team and just like, oh, there was this really. It was this female that started saying female. I don't wanna say girl because she was young.

She was like probably 19, 20, 21 or whatever. I was only 31. It's not like I was old.

So I'm kind of trying to say female or lady. Normally I just say person. She annoyed me so much.

She was just one of these really loud people. And but like, just to say things. She talked to me like I was a grandfather.

Like I was 100. Seriously. I remember pull my phone out once.

Yeah, my phone. Yeah, pull my phone out. And she said, Oh, I thought you'd have one of those really old fashioned phones.

What you mean a landline you think is going to be connected to my house? What really long like six mile line? What? Why would I not have a decent phone? Bearing in mind, I was earning probably twice as much as she was. Because she was she was having a basic she didn't sell much. I was doubling my income with the with the bonus.

And it might sound like I'm showing off because I am. Because very few things in my life I've done that are worth showing off about. And that's one of them.

I was pretty good at that job. While I was there. I mean, technically can't be good at a job.

You're not out Kenya. I suppose if you go literal. But she was like, Oh, I thought we'd have a really crappy old phone.

Like, because I had an up to date phone. No. Like if I if iPhones would be around had been around then, I would have had an iPhone if I'd have had the latest iPhone.

Because it's like, why not? I didn't understand it. And she asked me questions like rude questions, not like being rude to me, but she asked me about rude stuff. Wanting to get the male perspective.

What am I? What? Why do men like to finish there on this part of this stuff like that? Like, I don't know. I can't imagine anyone would want to do that with you. I didn't say that.

I didn't. I might have said that. I might have done.

There was this one female. When I first started working at Churchill, I really liked her. Like she was the first person that caught my eye.

And it was something about I just, just really. Yeah, really. And she was friendly to me.

But the problem is, when I got to that town from London, I did still have part of my mojo connected, but it eroded with every day that I was there, it seemed to erode a little bit more. And instead of being feeling like or having some kind of self esteem or confidence with in a in a in kind of a romantic aspect, it just deleted. So I never asked her out.

I just liked her from afar. And there was another lady that started. I did like her.

And she did come up to me during a break time, because we used to hang out in the summer outside. There was a shop was like a cafe, no sandwich shop. And they used to call it dirty's.

And the reason they call it dirty's, the staff called, they didn't call it dirty's. It was a family run business. But the people that worked where I worked, the call centre, they called it dirty's.

Because apparently, one day, the lady who was making a sandwich sneezed while she was making a sandwich and just continued. She used the bread as a hanky. She didn't.

Oh, my goodness. Wow. I didn't see that coming.

She used the bread as a hanky. Did I say the bread is a sandwich? Or is a hanky? I meant to say hanky. I hope I didn't say sandwich.

That'd been weird. Why is he laughing at that? Using the bread as a sandwich? That's how that's how sandwiches are made. So they called it dirty's because apparently someone sneezed over while they were, you know, putting a sandwich together.

I mean, I guess you wouldn't notice it so much if it was a salad sandwich. And so I was in there and I'd get a cheese roll with a sausage roll. It's a cheese and tomato roll.

And then I get a hot sausage roll and put that inside the cheese and tomato roll and squash it in. And I'd stuff that down with a drink of some kind. And there's this new person, she'd only been there for a little while.

And she came up to me and started talking to me. And see, I really liked her right from the minute I saw her when she came in and and she used to smile at me. And the thing is, I just didn't know what to say.

I just didn't have, see, I could talk all day long on the phone to people. But put someone in front of me, especially female, not a female anything, but just like someone that I liked that I was attracted to. I'd just dry up, I just wouldn't, it's like my words would disappear.

Still a little bit like that these days. Now I do wonder, and again, it was always like gossip about her when she started people saying, she's married to a yoga teacher. Okay, it turns out she wasn't married to anyone, she didn't have a boyfriend.

It was just, I don't think people were saying that in order to bloke saying it in order to get the other blokes to leave her alone, or not leave alone, but to not kind of ask her out or anything. And also, you know, I was at work, I mean, all the stuff about the reception, I was just, I did ask her out, but none of the stuff that I said happened there, apart from the cactus and the underwear.

But, you know, I'm not, I wasn't really one to, I think someone should be able to go to work and not have people keep asking them out and stuff.

So yeah, that's why I didn't, but I only ever asked one person out and that was a receptionist and that was it and nothing happened. And yeah, that was embarrassing. Literally, the first person that I'd asked out, probably like that, that kind of scenario, since I was, yeah, since about 91.

So it was a good 11, 12 years, 11 years, maybe 12 years, since I'd asked anyone out like that. Usually, you know, I'll get to know someone and then they'd fall madly in love with me and I'd have no idea. I'm not good at taking hints.

Not great at knowing when someone, I mean, I'm talking about in the past, not now so much, but there's been occasions where someone's, you know, clearly liked me, but I've been oblivious. And it's hard to believe, isn't it, when you consider how bright and intelligent I am. Hmm.

Yeah. Hmm. What got me talking about that? I don't know.

Trying to think if there's any other things. Oh, I just had a phone call, which disrupted my flow. My flow.

I'm assuming there was some kind of flow going on. I don't know if there was. I haven't a clue what I was talking about.

Asking people, asking people out unsuccessfully. Probably that might be the theme of the, of this recording. I can't remember the last time I actually asked someone out, like on a date.

No, no. You know how things just happen naturally. But it's not a date.

It's not like, uh, I met up with someone in 2011 that I met. So let's meet up. But it wasn't kind of, let's go out.

It was just, let's meet up. And then we ended up dating afterwards for a little while. Oh no, I did have a date.

I had a date in 2000, at the beginning of 2011. Yeah. Cause I had soup.

Maybe soup and a bit of bread. I thought you're going to get me to do hard labor, breaking some rocks or something. That's all the food I was going to get.

Soup. It's not food. It's a starter for a reason.

It's an appetizer. It's almost like a palate cleanser. I love bread rolls.

I haven't had any bread rolls for a while, but that's probably my favorite part of going to a restaurant is the bread rolls. A bread basket. Maybe it's because I'm hungry.

It's like with a normal situation, you eat. You just eat, don't you? You're like, I'm hungry. I'll eat.

I'll eat. But with a date, there's faffing around and waiting around. Maybe waiting for a taxi.

And then perhaps getting stuck in traffic and perhaps waiting around for the restaurant. It's not, the table's not ready yet. Especially if it's not booked.

So when I actually get to sit down, I'm ready to eat the menu. Literally the menu itself just is. Yeah.

Maybe they do that. Because let's face it, when you're hungry, food tastes better. So if you do that as a trick, if you've got a restaurant, make sure that the only people that eat there are really hungry.

Because then everyone's going to give you like five stars. Oh, that was the most amazing bit of smelly fish I've ever had in my life. Oh, that dry three-year-old burger.

Oh, that tastes so good. Saying that, I'm going to have some, they're not hot cross buns, they're like tea, tea buns, tea cakes. Those are tea cakes, cup of tea.

And I'm going to edit this and upload it later. I'm gonna have a little break. Tomorrow, I'm doing a Q&A Friday.

So I have put a question on there. I've also, on my website, I've got a link for Q&A Friday. I didn't mention that because I didn't upload, didn't update the page on my page.

So on my Facebook group, you can add, but not, you know, can ask a question. But not everybody's on my Facebook group. And not everybody that listens to me is on Facebook either.

At least a few have told me. So I've now got Q&A Friday in the index, or in the menu. If you click on that, it's just Q&A Friday.

I make Q&A Fridays every week. If you have a question for me to answer, please fill in the form below. So it's just your name, email address, and your message.

So that's just the question you got. And you click whether or not you're a robot. And if you are a robot, say yes.

If you're not, say no. I mean, I do realize it perhaps is a bit prejudiced to be asking people such personal questions. Yeah, so that's it.

So I will be back tomorrow with Q&A Friday number whatever. I've been doing Q&A Fridays for ages now. Just like the trivia Tuesdays have been going on for quite a while as well.

Blimey, I've stuck to them. I'm quite pleased. Q&A Fridays is really I've stuck to it.

It's almost it's almost become part of the week now. But Friday is Q&A Friday. I would say it's pretty much established.

Trivia Tuesday, maybe not so much. But I think it's getting there. It's now becoming quite a regular occurrence.

I did try out some others, but I just find it hard to stick to such a rigid schedule. You know, if every day has its own thing. Sunday papers as well.

I've kind of been quite good with the Sunday papers. I've been doing them quite regularly also. Oh, well, I'm going to go and have my tea cakes and a cup of tea.

So thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself and be gentle with yourself. Because you do deserve to be happy.

Lots of love. Bye. Bye.