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(music) #1244 Q&A Friday - (35) Let Me Bore You To Sleep (29th November 2024)

Recorded 29 November 2024 · 1 hr 56 min

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It's Q&A Friday. Eh, eh. Time to chat, laugh and play.

Eh, eh. Got questions in your pocket. I'm ready to unlock it.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh. Q&A Friday. Let it fly.

Answer time. Don't be shy. We got mysteries and jokes and maybe some random, random, random, random.

Okay. I didn't make that up myself, by the way. Eh, eh.

That was rubbish, wasn't it? Ah, hello. Welcome to Q&A Friday. My name's Jason Newland.

Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. It's just me, a little fiddy, who's staring at me for some weird... Why are you staring at me? Ah, because he was having a cuddle and now I've got up and sat at my desk. And now he doesn't know what to do.

He's like, oh. Oh, no, he's found something to do. He's fine.

I think he's going to be happy now for a few minutes. So, welcome to yet another Q&A Friday. Who'd have thought? Another one, another Friday.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh. I'm trying to think what else is there to say. I've got a Facebook group called Jason Newland's Boring Group.

I have a YouTube channel. And every time I make a new recording, I create a video. Which lasts for 10 hours.

And, yeah. It's, it's pretty much a dark screen after the first 10 seconds. And that is, that's it.

I don't think there's anything else to say. So, I've, this week, just in case you didn't listen to yesterday's recording. It's been quite a busy week.

I've been focusing on sorting out my financial issues. Admittedly, I was doing that last week, but I've been doing it this week as well. So, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday last week.

This week, I also helped a neighbour with some stuff. What else did I do? I did something else. So, I made, I made a, I made a podcast on Monday.

A podcast on Tuesday. A podcast yesterday. Don't think I did one on Wednesday.

Now there's one today. I think I did a podcast on Sunday as well. So, I've done a few this week.

Hmm. You may have noticed there's no adverts anymore on the podcasts. I'm trying to think what else.

I did something yesterday that I was quite pleased about. No, it wasn't that. What was it? I washed my hair.

I was quite pleased because I washed my hair and It's ironic because now, well, ironic is the right word, but I was about to say that my lower back didn't hurt. So, usually when I wash my hair or if I bend over for any length of time, which, you know, when I wash my hair over the bath it's not a long time, but it's a few minutes and it usually causes quite a lot of discomfort.

But yesterday, for some reason, it was alright.

It was still a bit stiff, but I think after all these months of doing the regular squats with weights I think it has strengthened my back up. Seems like it. I mean, that is one of the exercises the physiotherapist advised me to do.

This was like two years ago. So, I started doing squats, but I didn't use weights. I wanted to just get used to doing the squats.

And I was doing like 10, then 20, then worked it up. And now, then I added the weights. So, like dumbbells.

So, I just hold them basically in my arms, well, in my hands, not my arms, but and just let them dangle, really, and I just do the squats then. And now I do 100 in one go every morning. So, that's quite good.

It seems to be doing the trick. I also do exercises with my wrists as well. Well, my forearms.

So, I move the weights around. So, it exercises the muscles in my forearms and hopefully that strengthens my wrists a bit as well. My left wrist has always been weaker than my right wrist for some reason.

I don't know why. So, I... What else did I do yesterday? That's going to really bug me now. I did do something yesterday, but I can't remember what it is.

It's been a week of getting stuff done. Alright, okay, I changed my electric and gas supplier over to a cheaper tariff. So, that was... I mean, it was actually really easy, to be honest.

Pretty simple. I did put a link on my Facebook page for those that maybe would consider changing over, if you're looking to change over. It's a company called Octopus.

And I got a very good authority by two different people that have been with them for quite a while, that they're very good. And you can get a £50 voucher or money off your bill. And I also get £50 if you sign up.

I don't get a £50 off my bill. So, if I get enough people signing up, then I'll have no bill. Yeah! But I just thought I'd just add it, because you can get people to sign up.

So, I thought I'd just stick it on my Facebook page. Just in case there's anyone in the UK who's looking to change their electric and gas. It's just, you know, in the winter I was getting £100, £160, £170, £180, if not more, a month costing me.

And I managed to get a tariff for £96 a month for the rest of the year, or for the whole year. So, you know, that should be pretty good. And, so yeah, that was what I did yesterday.

Today, I'm not even saying this with any kind of sadness really, to be honest. I have, I have withdrawn from the Open University course. Just, there's certain things going on and I just, I'm not motivated to do it.

It's a weird one, I'll probably talk about it another time. But, yeah, just, you know, I've been thinking about it for a month, over a month now. And every time I go back to it, I'm just, just like, I think I've come to a point in my life where I love learning new things.

But it has to be in my own way. And I don't want to be, I don't want to be quizzed. I don't want to have to, I don't want to, I'm not doing it for any other reason other than just for fun.

To entertain myself. So I will listen to books on philosophy, psychology, metaphysics. I'll listen to books on motivation.

Ironic there. But I listen to books on literature. It's all kinds of, Dostoevsky, Selene, whatever.

I'll read, you know, I'll listen to those books. Because I feel that it is improving my brain. I like to think.

Improving my mind. Perhaps improving my, what is it? Words. Words.

My word. Vocabulary, that's it. Vocabulary.

So hopefully it's going to improve that in it. Therefore, I'm trying to move away from saying so. The thing is, if I keep just mentioning the fact that I keep saying so, it's going to be more obvious and more, just to other people listening, actually I didn't notice it before, but you do say so a lot, don't you? So the latest is, my dad is, yeah, my dad's got some stuff going on as well.

He's got medical stuff he's having done next week. That's, yeah, it's playing on my mind a little bit. I just hope that he's going to be all right and he, you know, I just, yeah, it's natural, isn't it? To be concerned about stuff like that.

Vinnie's okay. Vinnie's doing all right. He's seen his mum a few times this week.

That's the lady that used to have him. In fact, the lady that called him, that named him Vinnie, because his original name was Bear. And she's known him since he was a baby, since he was literally first born.

She's got videos of him running around as a puppy. It's just, let's say he's got that, that connection with her, that imprint, I guess, that he hasn't got with me. There's, he's never not known her his whole life.

So her smell, the way she feels, you know, I guess when he cuddles her and all that stuff, he's just, her voice, everything. He's, it's part of him. She's part of him.

And I guess I'm a late, a late comer to his life. Because he was 10 months when I got him. And she's a neighbour, so she lives, you know, very close.

And he loses his mind whenever she's around. He adores her so much. But he's not like that with me.

But I think, apparently when I'm not there, he's different though. He's not like that when I'm not there. But we were talking about it, and I think it's one of those, that's his holiday, you know.

That's him having fun when he goes there. Which doesn't make me feel great, to be honest. But it is that, I don't know how to explain it, but he's, it's his playtime.

He's getting out of the house, he's got a garden over there. There's more space, more rooms. There's two bedrooms, a much bigger lounge, bigger kitchen.

You know, everything's bigger over there, because it's just a bigger flat. And there's a garden as well. So he's got, and she's there.

So, and there's a huge settee. So he can run around, jump around on the settee. So I guess he just really loves it over there.

Yeah, it's nice. And I suppose a little bit upsetting sometimes. I'm thinking he prefers to be there than to be here.

But I don't know if that's true. I think he loves both. He loves being in both places.

This is his home. This is where he sleeps. This is where he, you know, is all the time, most of the time, with me.

So I think he's probably, are you used to being with me now, Vin? What's that? What's that? You can hear something in the garden, can't you? You're not going to start barking, are you? Please don't. Please, baby boy, don't start barking. Please.

Please don't. Please. Two years.

It's nearly two years since I first got him. It's now the 29th of November. And it was, I don't know the exact date that I got him, but it was the beginning of December.

So, right. So I have ended the course. That's finished.

I'm doing everything I can to try and cut down on expenses. Just so I can try and move forward. Oh, what's this? Good morning.

I've just got a text message. Good afternoon. If our NHS National Diabetes Prevention Programme face-to-face sessions are not right for you, join our online groups.

They keep contacting me for the National Diabetes Prevention Programme. But I told them that my blood sugar level was a lot lower and I didn't... You know what? Maybe... Maybe I do need to speak to them. Maybe I do need to... To... Maybe a little bit of advice wouldn't be bad, would it? I guess.

To make sure that I do prevent the diabetes. Because I was pre-diabetic six months ago and now I'm not. Or at least I wasn't last time I got tested.

I lost some weight. It's just I kept phoning and saying, oh, a doctor's surgery's recommended this. I said, when was that? They said about three months ago.

I said, actually, I've seen them since then. I saw them in September and they said I was doing a lot better. Since I've had my... Since I've reduced the weight and my sugar level's gone down and all that.

But I'm just wondering. I mean, it's not like... It wasn't like a perfect sugar level. You know, I wasn't... Mr. Super healthy.

Everything's wonderful. But it's definitely improved since last time I was there. Like, when I went back.

Ah, well. So that really is all the latest... I mean, what... Can you believe it's less than a month till Christmas? Less than a month! It's ridiculous. It's just going so quickly.

So quickly, isn't it? Let me just tell you what the latest books I'm reading are or listening to. I like to think it's reading, but it's still listening, isn't it? So, what is it? Philosophy for Dummies. That's my latest book.

But I've got some books on here that I've not listened to yet. So, Thus Spoke Zarathustra by Friedrich Nietzsche or Nietzsche. I listened to The Art of War the other day.

That's by Sun Tzu. Understanding the Dark Side of Psychology. That's one.

I was halfway through that one. Tools of Titans by Tim Ferriss. Nearly completed that.

Passions. The Philosophy of something or other. This is a book I listened to by Matt Haig.

Reasons to Stay Alive. It just sounded like an interesting book. And it is.

It is. Then I listened to The Men Who Stare at Goats by John Ronson. I'm only... I'm pretty sure I listened to the whole of it and I started listening to it again.

Also a book called Dry by Daniel H. Pink. Just going to look at some of the books that I've actually finished. So, I did start Crime and Punishment which Dostoevsky.

I found it very interesting some of the dialogue in that. But I was also a little bit confused by what I was... some of the stuff I was reading. Not confused, but like, OK.

You've got what's this other one? Shocking Arte Work. What the heck? Right, I can actually tell you if I go back that was the Audible. I wonder if people can send me Audible gift me Audible tokens.

I wonder if that's possible. So Health and Well... Where is it? I've just got to look at my account details. So I've reduced it from two books a month to one book a month.

Or one credit a month. Here's what you get with your membership. I've already switched the membership.

I've switched it. Current plan. Alright.

It switches on the 23rd of December. So I'm currently on the 2 a day, 2 a month. The thing is you can listen to books and then get rid of them and get another one.

Like, sort of almost like a library I guess, swap it. Not with all of them, but with some of them. However, I quite like to keep the books so I can listen to them another time.

Not all of them. But just, you know, sometimes. So, Listen History.

Let's have a look. What have I got? Philosophy for Dummies, Shocking Psychological Studies and the Lesson They Teach. The Tao of Poo.

The Tao of Poo. 48 Laws of Power. The Prince.

By Niccolò Machiavelli. Meditations. I was, and this is Yeah, I was listening to that the other day.

I found that interesting. I did. The Great Questions of Philosophy and Physics.

When are you going to start doing the questions and the answers? As this is Q&A Friday. Yeah, that was quite a good book. Oh, wait a minute.

Fair enough. Tools of Titans. Passion, Philosophy and Intelligence of Emotions.

Understanding Disorders of the Brain. Control. Okay, Understanding Li.

What? This is weird. Some of these I don't remember even having. Essentials of Social Psychology.

Introduction to Psychology. The Psychology Book. The Absorbent Mind.

Kinds of Minds. The Pocket Guide to Neuroscience for Clinicians. Forensics.

How the Mind Works. Psychology. Psych 101.

Brain Myths Exploded. Think Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman. Accelerated Learning Models.

Reality is Plastic. Art of Self-Learning. Process-Oriented Hypnosis.

It's not all the books, is it? Is that all the books I've got? I thought I had hundreds. According to this, there's not many. That's weird.

Oh, List and History, so not the actual membership details. View Membership Profile. Oh.

Purchase History. Anyway, so the last 365 days, yeah, there's quite a few. If I do 40, 40, so about 80.

I've listened to about 80 books that are on air this year. So I go 365 days, 223, there's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. There's only 9 books that I ordered last year. 2022, well, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16.

Probably about 35, 40. 2021, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 2020, wow, about 80. 2019, about 40.

2018, wow, there's quite a few. Probably about 35. 2017, when I first started listening to all the books, 1. That's strange.

And then 2024, there's about 80, so yeah. Right. Questions.

The first question I'm going to do is a question for Mary. And she sent me a message on by email. Where is it? Where are you? Mary, where are you? Mary? It's hiding.

How strange. Why would it be hiding? I got junk mail. It wouldn't be in junk mail.

It was in the inbox. And it's in my email address. It's not there.

That's really weird. It's on my phone, but it's not on the actual... Ah. That's because I've had loads of emails today for some reason.

Okay. So the question I've got for Mary is... is... How did you end up living in a Buddhist centre and why did you leave? Okay, thanks Mary. So let's have a look.

I... Let's have a drink of water. Hopefully this won't disturb anyone that's trying to sleep. Oh.

Ah. Got to keep it professional. Vinnie was looking at me like, what the hell are you doing daddy? So the question... How did I end up living? So I suppose it's just that I didn't actually live in the Buddhist centre, but it was a Buddhist community which was connected to the Buddhist centre.

Um. How did... Well, I started going to the Buddhist centre in, I think November. The end of, yeah, the end of 2003.

I started going there due to having... started having serious really bad panic attacks. And that was kind of the start of my, of that thing going on. So I decided let's try and see if meditation would help.

And the Buddhist centre was literally round the corner from where I worked. I didn't know. What did I know? I might have known.

I can't remember what I knew back then. Maybe I might not have even known what I knew then at the time. So what I did is, I must have seen meditation classes.

And I walked past this building very regularly during the week. Anytime I went into town, pretty much from where I worked, I'd walk through there and past this. And there was an evolution shop there as well.

Now when I didn't know I started going into the evolution shop. See that's what's weird about this because I, I must have been going. No! Yeah, that's it.

So I've got it now. So I started going into the Buddhist centre about November. I got to know the people that worked in the Buddhist shop.

Evolution shop. It was next door and the Buddhist centre was upstairs. So the entrance was next door to the shop.

But the actual Buddhist centre was above the evolution shop. And I got to know the people working in the evolution shop. I'd go in there and that's where I would buy gifts and stuff for family and over the next year or so.

I was a regular at the Buddhist centre. Really, really trying to figure out how to reduce my stress and to get a grip of what was going on. Because I really didn't understand it.

Didn't know why. But I still wanted to carry on working. I didn't want to leave my job.

And I carried on for a whole year working with really extreme anxiety and panic attacks for a year. I had some time off in, I think I was off twice with it. And then it kind of seemed to not so much get better but I seemed to have it kind of under control a little bit during the summer.

And then come November yeah, come November 2003 Oh, I know what happened. So I, yeah, I seemed to have it under control to a degree. I mean, you know as far as functioning doing well at my job holding it together.

But unfortunately I was still drinking in the evenings which wasn't helping me. I was also what else was I doing? Oh, yeah, I joined this is going to be weird considering what I talked about earlier. I started a college course.

It was a holistic therapy course where I was studying to do massage therapy aromatherapy Indian head massage as well. And that's something that I started to do full time five days a week and I was allowed to go part time with the sales job in the insurance. So I was at college all day literally about 9 till 4 something like that and then I was working from 5 till 9 pretty much every night and then Saturday all day.

It didn't leave me with a lot of time. I think that was probably the thing that pushed me over because over my threshold of coping. And I just walked out of there.

I had to leave. So I was there one night a week. Basically I'm not sure what happened first.

Either I left the job or I left the college course. My memory is I just did both at the same time. I walked out of work and I didn't go back to college.

And I went away for a few days just to get away. That didn't really help to be honest. And I came back.

I got a I managed to get some money. So I had already got a loan. So I thought I was going to be alright and I had credit cards which wasn't a good idea.

And I was living off those per year. Well not a whole year but between the end of 2003 until about September 2004. So during that time I also had a part time job working in the evolution shop which was a gift shop which was below the Buddhist centre.

So during 2004 I was getting to know the staff and you know it was quite good. I quite liked it sometimes. It was very busy.

Very very busy. And I yeah so I did that for a little while. I was only doing a few hours a week not many.

Couple of days a week. During Christmas a bit more. But generally not.

I wasn't even earning enough to pay tax I don't think. It was quite a small amount. But it got me out of the house.

And then I was getting in more and more debt with the credit cards. It was like getting. You know when you start putting your compound interest on it.

It was just getting silly. So I They pretty much forced me out. They didn't sack me but they said I had to get a job.

Because I was by being there I was getting myself into more trouble financially. So anyway what I did is I found a job back in insurance. The one thing that I didn't want to do again.

But it seemed to be the only option at the time. So I got back to that and I was during the yeah and I was still going to the Buddhist centre. I was still involved in that.

And that was September 2004. And then in about March 2005 after months of asking to become to join the community. To move into the Buddhist community.

They said yes. And I moved in about March time 2005. And I was living there until November 2007.

Now I'll explain what the community was because there's a few anyone that's lived there would say different things. For me it wasn't as full on as some Buddhist communities are. And I know someone that went there that lived there at the same time as me and his attitude or his opinion rather was that it was just a house share.

With some Buddhists living together. It was a house share. No.

It wasn't. It was but it wasn't because I've lived in lots and lots and lots of places where I've rented a room. And this was nothing like that.

There was no locks on the door. On any of our doors. We not every day but at least once a week we'd all eat communally together.

We were friends. We all generally got on. We'd go out and do stuff sometimes.

We'd see each other at the Buddhist centre as well. We'd go there together. So to me it wasn't anything like living in multiple occupancy place where you just rent in a room.

I've done that so many times over the years since I was 17 or 18 or whatever. 16. So this wasn't like that for me.

And I got on very well with I got on well with most people in there. The thing is I was still drinking. So I stopped drinking alcohol all the way through 2004.

And then 2000 well New Years Eve 2004 yeah I kind of I was so pleased with my progress that I decided to start drinking again. It's a weird one but I used to go to the local pub when I was in the Buddhist community. A lot of that was just I don't know.

I think to be fair, not that I need to defend myself I didn't know really what was going on with me. And I was just self-medicating. It's as simple as that.

I didn't know. All I knew it seemed to help. Sometimes.

Sometimes it didn't but it seemed to be I thought it was helping. And I used that as a self-medication from 2000 all the way up to about 2015. Apart from 2004.

And then when I moved in here and I had reduced my drinking. After 2004 I only drunk weak lager. Didn't drink strong lager anymore.

But I was still able to get through. I still do like 6 cans a night. And then not long before I moved here which is 2015 about April time I think.

I probably do about 6 cans of lager. Fosters. I kind of I was trying to stick it to the weekend when I was working.

I was trying to only do it on a Friday and a Saturday night. And then the weekend started early. Started on a Thursday.

And it went on a little bit longer. So it was a Sunday. Like oh let's do an extra day Monday and perhaps we'll start it on Wednesday.

So it got a little bit like that. But then leading up to me moving in here I couldn't really afford to drink hardly anything because I was living on a very small amount. Until I think it was probably October.

October? Was it October? It was near the end of 2014 when my benefits came through. So I was on like bare minimum for about 6, 7 months. And then I kind of started drinking a little bit.

But when I moved here something changed and I don't know what it was. You know I was drinking in the evenings but only at weekends really. And it just petered out, petered out, petered out whatever and I just lost interest.

I haven't I haven't drunk any alcohol since 2 years. It's been 2 years since I've even touched alcohol. And before that it's I mean I think on my 50th birthday I bought some, it's weird isn't it? It's blimey only 4 years ago now.

My 50th birthday I bought 8 cans of lager. Or 8 packs of 6 packs I don't know, it was I bought quite a few. Half of them were for my friend, half of them were for me.

I had about a quarter of one of them. And it's like meh. Just didn't want it.

Wasn't enjoying it. Didn't see the point. So I just gave them to him.

Just wasn't wasn't me anymore. So I don't really know what happened but something about moving here I lost interest in alcohol, maybe I just didn't need it. Maybe the fact that I was on medication perhaps the correct medication, I don't know.

Who knows? But anyway, so what I did A lot of people are making noises in the garden. So I So I was in the Buddhist community It was in the middle, honestly it's a long way away from anything in the town. It's probably a good 50 minutes walk from the town.

An hour 50 minutes to an hour walk. And I lived in a it was a there was a basement and then there was upstairs which was on the ground floor then there was an upstairs which was above the ground floor, if that makes sense. So it's three stories, kind of.

But it was built on a hill. So the basement although it was underground it wasn't on the back. It was underground at the front but it wasn't at the back I think.

Is that right? I can't remember.

It was partly underground, yeah, it was partly underground but it was kind of on a hill, a slope on a really busy road which led to the motorway which ironically is my closest road here is a really busy road that leads to a busy motorway but on this occasion I was literally right on that road woken up, well not I got used to it after a while but traffic lorries really early in the morning but it was one of those areas where at night after, especially like in the middle of the night, pitch black all the stars it was quite a quite a lovely sight to look at.

The last time I remember doing that really other than there was when I went to Norwich in probably about 2005 as well and I was walking with, I think it was the person that I was, one of the people I was living with, we went on a retreat together I've never told you about the retreats have I?

I've never mentioned the retreats I've been on a few retreats not loads but I'm really thinking about that it might be time for me to get back to going to the Buddhist Centre I meditated today for the first time in ages and I think it would do me good to get back and maybe maybe try and get on retreat see if Vinnie can be looked after by what's her name and it'll just be like for a week I should be able to get a discount, I don't know how much it would cost,

I'll have to save up for it and it's not a holiday, it's an actual, you know sometimes there's silent retreats where I was about to explain to you what silent means, we all know what silence means don't we, but it's sometimes they'll be silent all the way through and then they'll have one day at the end when you can talk other times it'll be silent apart from at certain times so I'm not sure what the question was, what was the question?

How did I end up there? So it was something that I really liked the idea of right from the start so when I was in what was it when I first started going to the Buddhist Centre, end of 2003 I I went to there was like a bulletin board and it had, and there was like leaflets and stuff and talking about retreat centres and I started to think oh perhaps something I would like to do go and live somewhere and it's been a part of me,

because I've been interested in Buddhism since I was a kid really been a little bit fascinated by meditation ever since I watched Kung Fu the TV show and Bruce Lee because he meditated as well didn't he and is it in the lift where he just sits down in the lift with the nunchucks around his neck I can't remember but I know there was Kung Fu Kane the TV show Kung Fu he's put into this box it was like a punishment and he had to just be in this box for a

couple of days or whatever and a sweat box or something and when they opened it up he was just there cross legged smiling because he'd been meditating the whole time so I thought I don't want to be locked in a box but the idea of maybe having some degree of peace of mind appealed to me from an early age I did actually get a meditation course on tape cassette in about 94 or 95 I also had quite a really good selection of Buddhist books back then as well because that's what I was spending my time doing,

studying Buddhism trying to learn the script, well just the words of the Buddha and try and get my head around it and I didn't really go anywhere, I mean the weird thing about it is I lived just up the road from the London Buddhist Centre I know I mean that's before the internet had I had the internet that would have been easy to know but it was in Bethnal Green I didn't go to Bethnal Green I think the only I'd go past it on the tube station but there was nothing there for me to go there for,

there was no reason for me to go there I think the only time I actually went to Bethnal Green pretty much the whole time I lived in London was when I had a job sweeping the streets behind a lorry you know a dustbin lorry thing I don't know what it was but I was sweeping, sweeping behind them and that was down the bit down that area that road that part and I lived in Stratford which was literally just up the road walkable walkable kind of anyway I that would have changed

my entire life if I knew that was there I very much likely would have gone and then I probably would have ended up living in the community with people in London and who knows, who knows what would have happened I might have ended up being a nice person possible, possible so I I asked to be in a community, the one I went to, what I ended up living in a couple of times and I kept getting told no and I think they were a little bit concerned because I was probably a bit feisty as a person and they probably thought maybe I wouldn't be a good suit even though I was very,

very good friends with one of the people, the main person that lived there, I say the main person he was the only order member living there at the time, no he wasn't there was two yeah that's a good point, there was two maybe there wasn't any space, but when there was space, it was still I was having these conversations about moving into the community and at the end of it still didn't know where he was it was more like a two hour conversation over lunch didn't it was almost like it was like nothing we were talking about,

nothing the whole time sounds a bit like this doesn't it anyway so that's how I ended up doing that ended up in there it was planned as far as I wanted to go there how did you end up living in a Buddhist center and why did you leave so I was there from March 2005 I was working back in insurance at that time and then what happened is with all different things that happened I ended up going I ended up starting to go to university full time so a three year course that was in the counselling studies which was in the next town,

it was a different town and I was ok to I was ok to travel up there I had everything sorted I had a job, part time job in Sainsbury's everything was all organised and then a bit of a disruption I needed to find somewhere to live because there was a bit of conflict in the community kind of got a loggerhead, there was a couple of us got a loggerhead and there was someone else and it just got a bit silly and it was going in the wrong direction so I I

needed to find somewhere else to live couldn't find anywhere locally so I ended up moving to the town that I was studying in so that's how I ended up moving out and that was November 2007 I didn't want to move out I really didn't I'd still be there now but I wouldn't because they sold the place I didn't have any rights to live there, I signed those rights away long before I moved out so that they could sell it if they wanted to which means I would have ended up losing where I lived anyway so I suppose maybe I made the right decision,

I don't know so that's how that came around really I think it's probably getting to know, because I was working with one two of the people I was working in an evolution shop with two of the people that lived in the community so I spent most of 2004 the end of 2003 as well working with them getting to know them becoming friends with them and I was going around the community and visiting so I was friends with the other people living in the community as well so it was like the

natural next step is to actually move in and in some ways it's probably one of the best places I ever lived in some ways I think I was a better person I think I don't know I just do in some ways, maybe not in all ways but maybe I wasn't it suited me it quite suited me being in that environment being around people that were probably being around nice people it helped it made a difference being around people that weren't chaotic chaotic is I can't be around chaoticness or chaos I

think is the correct word isn't it and yeah so that's it really that's all I can really say about that I'm glad I did it the ending wasn't good but it was challenging some of the communication was challenging at times but at the same time until the end bit it felt like a safe space and that changed near the end but beginning for most of the time there it felt like a safe space and I like that I appreciated that… oh dear right let me have a look I just see

someone posted a horrible comment right so let's have a look what other what other messages I've got questions rather there wasn't a lot this week… let's have a look let's have a look I've got five comments I don't know how many of those are questions let's have a look I think there was a rare sometimes I get statements sometimes I don't... right Dimitri asks to be or not to be that is the question so yeah that's not one sorry I can't answer that one I've got no idea to be or

not to be yep so Sean maybe you've been asked this before I'm usually asleep before the questions get answered I wonder if anyone fall asleep sometimes it's just because I think I'm very interested and perhaps I'm not quite as I was going to say virile but that's not the right word is it not quite as enigmatic as I think I am maybe so the question is when you were a child what did you want to be when you grew up I'm going to have a drink just to moisten my luscious

lips tickle my tonsils what did I want to be when I grew up at one point in my childhood I wanted to be a policeman I wanted to be a police officer so that was my thing and I was informed quite quickly through a lot of laughter that it was never going to happen because I was both too short and also not clever enough and a few people told me that never listen to your teachers and I think I was quite short and you had to be I think the cut

off was like 5'10 or 5'11 and it was quite predictable that I was never going to be that although to be fair both my brothers have a good height I just didn't I'm the shortest out of all four of us my little brother he's not a lot taller than me probably an inch or two but still as we all know an inch is a lot I'm trying to think of what else I think I wanted to be a police person we used to call them policemen back then I'd never seen

a police woman I know they're called police officers now but back then in the early 80's I didn't know that women even were police until I saw the bill on TV and there was women working in there that's the first time because we didn't have where I lived there was I never saw a female officer do you have to do that right now?

he's found a packet of blue tack and he's decided to rip it open bless him I need to get him some doggy chocolate because you can't eat normal chocolate but apparently you can get chocolate as dog friendly I thought it would be good for Easter to get him one and put it in a box and let him rip the box open he'll probably enjoy that I might even treat myself to an Easter egg next year I can't even remember the last time I had a chocolate bar it's been a while

so yeah I like the idea of being a police person because it just seemed like a cool job to have make people behave themselves I don't know I'm not sure why there was something about it that appealed to me I think I also like the idea of being a private eye a private detective but I would say that it's very likely because of the TV shows I used to watch like Maglin PI what's his name The Rockford Files there was quite a few detective shows like Kojak what's his name you

always found out what happened right at the beginning Columbo that was very unique that was wasn't it as far as I'm aware that was never done before to show what happened like a whodunit but you know whodunit right at the start very clever kind of way of doing it I thought it would be quite nice to be a magician by that I don't mean like a magic act on stage I mean an actual magician and I was quite influenced by Sapphire and Steel so I was kind of interested in perhaps

being like a time traveller astral kind of person that can control time so that seemed quite good but admittedly even then that was the late 70s early 80s I realised that that might not be available that position I think at some point I also loved the idea of being a stunt man I'm going to say stunt man I'll say man because that's how we used to talk back then a stunt person that's probably a completely different title for them now but I think part of that was because I was influenced

by Evil Knievel and I was influenced by Lee Majors you know when the Bionic Man went and became a stunt man the Thor guy I'm the unknown stunt man that makes this world look so fine do you remember that if you might not but it was so good so good he's still alive and he's 112 it's amazing he's just he was I really liked him so yeah I think I wanted to be a stunt man because of that because of him,

because of the TV shows I used to see there was loads of back then they used stunt people didn't they to do the stunts there was no really any CGI or I mean now if you've got the time and the expertise you can put together pretty much a movie on your laptop now if you know what you're doing with the technology that's about, it's amazing hmm what else I think when I got older I quite liked the idea of being I wanted to be a monkey boxer so I mean this

is when I was older when I was about 14 I had this book and it was an Australian a monkey boxer who lived in Australia and this book was sort of teaching the style the moves and all that stuff like the form of the monkey boxer can I have another drink ear flapper, ear flapper ooh ooh ooh yeah so I I wanted to do that I think one of the things like a bit more of a serious idea I had I wanted to be a wheeler dealer like Del Boy or

Arthur Daly and I'm sure there was a lot of kids around the country that wanted to do that because of those two programs Only Fools and Horses and Minder so I got into that a little bit first of all when I was at school I used to money lend that didn't go too well and then when I left school I used to sell stuff buy and sell that went alright but it was really just a lot of the time it was just me selling my own belongings for less than they were worth so I wasn't really doing great I mean I did once sell a fridge freezer,

bought it for 15 sold it for 40 and that was the best thing that ever happened in my life at that point I think, I was so pleased with myself so that was it, but that, and I was really into this time I was 16 and I was getting the exchange in Mart and ordering all these things like these business ideas where some of them were you'd get a perfume kit and these perfume samples and I'd go around trying to get people to order perfumes from me another one was jewellery

some of the other business ideas was number plates trying to get people to buy number plates like personal number plates nothing really took off but you know I was trying to do something, I really wanted to succeed at something I never did, but at that time I was really passionate about it but I would say probably leading up to leaving school I did the year before I left school I did 2 weeks work experience in a builders a building firm which was local to where I lived one of the builders

lived opposite me in the house opposite and the firm was just around the corner it was called White's Builders and I was there for 2 weeks I loved it absolutely loved it, it was freezing cold and I couldn't care at all, didn't care that it was cold I just loved everything about it they had me just doing grotty jobs sorting through them a huge pile of bricks separating the bricks from the good bricks from the crap bricks the complete bricks from the broken ones stuff like that and I enjoyed it

I spent time with the bricklayers I spent time with the plasterer I spent time upstairs with the joiner the carpenter as I got to it I was in the office answering the phone I was doing all kinds of things and I loved it and I just stayed there if I was able to stay there and not go back to school I would have done and they said to me come and see us when you leave school which was a year later left school went and saw them they didn't have any

vacancies didn't have anything available I'd have happily gone I wasn't expecting a job job I thought it would be an apprenticeship or something so I was happy to do that they didn't have anything and shortly afterwards they closed in fact the receptionist in there the person who was the main receptionist ended up working in a chip shop with me she was nice mind you I didn't she was nice but unfortunately her son ended up dating and one of the girls in the chip shop that I liked so I was not

happy with that it was weird because one of the girls she dated him her son who was younger than she was and then the main person working there full time, a female she her brother was dating the woman who was working in the office then came and worked in the chip shop and she was probably 20 years older than him 15, 20, whatever I don't know so I guess it was just a family thing they liked older people he liked older women,

she liked younger men they weren't stuck in the mindset of this is how it should be they were a bit more open minded which is good for them but it was annoying because I liked her but I did get on really well with her mum with his mum this is getting confusing now isn't it who's mum are we talking about I don't know yeah and then so I liked the idea of being in for a bricklayer didn't want to be a carpenter no interest in carpentry at school,

metal work carpentry no thanks had to do it for a couple of years didn't like it, just wasn't me however building something like bricklaying plastering maybe those are the two that I found quite interesting the plastering I think it's because I liked the people that were doing it the plasterer was I mean he was a tall bloke he was a part time fireman and his bleeper went off one day and he had to rush off because he was on call pretty much the whole time and it's nothing more it's an

impressive I was 14 so to be around someone that both had a cool job as a plasterer probably earning really good money and then almost flying off it was almost like he was Clark Kent Clark Kent as a plasterer and turned into Superman to go and save people in the events of fires and stuff yeah my chair is a bit squeaky isn't it so I liked the idea of doing that I also like the idea of maybe doing bricklaying because I've done a little bit of bricklaying and pointing at my house where I lived so I knew my way around what is it,

not a javelin a travel a truffle, not a truffle what's those things you use travel shavel, bavel gavel whatever they are that you use to put cement on bricks it seemed like something I could do it wouldn't be ideal now because my back and that but when I was younger it would have been fine and the plastering it's not that it was easy, it just looked like something I could have fun doing I don't know why it just looked like something that would be you know to complete something and have

that satisfaction of having done a whole wall or a whole house yeah so that appealed to me and I would have done either of those jobs as a an apprentice I suppose the downside or whatever is because I lived in a tiny little town there wasn't a huge amount of opportunities for stuff like that but I probably could have I could have delved into it, I could have looked I think I did,

I'm sure I went to a builder's site asking if they were looking and no one did but I don't I didn't search far and wide which is fine I mean if I'd have I didn't have any interest in electrician stuff my dad was an electrician I just, it didn't really interest me, plumbing not really the amount of money in plumbing it would have been a really good career choice or to become a heating engineer, things like that it's a well paid job but I didn't,

it just didn't interest me and I suppose because I had such a lovely experience in the building firm that's when I thought I can do this this is fun I'm not being moaned at, I'm not a school I'm being treated kind of like an adult in a way, which was the first time that ever happened so that was quite nice I can't think of any other things that I wanted to do, like job wise when I grew up I think that's everything so Sean,

I think that's everything that I can remember and I didn't do any of them, any of the things that I kind of wanted to also Sean asks, what's a piece of advice you would give to your younger self I think if there was someone about to leave school my advice is and I guess this isn't going to be necessarily correct for everybody but it depends where you live but I would say it's worth trying to remember that this is an amazing time with the options are so broad you can choose pretty much anything you want to do there's always limitations as far as if you need qualifications to do certain jobs,

you can't just walk into being a teacher you can't necessarily walk and be working in a stock market and you need to have a certain aptitude for particular jobs I never had the correct aptitude for any of my jobs none this is the only thing I've really had the proper aptitude for the proper aptitude and attitude but as soon as someone started moaning at me I'd stop doing this it's weird isn't it I can't as soon as if I was told off I was taken into a room and he started

moaning at me see ya right then he started barking what advice would I give my younger self definitely something like that the options when you're young not for everyone but I'm going to be generalising here I didn't realise it at the time but I had so many options when I was 15, 16 so many options and I wasn't aware of it I just didn't know so I would definitely say keep your options open unless it's something that you're completely determined to do whether it's go to university go to college do an apprenticeship something that you've always wanted to do become a writer,

become an actor train horses become a professional footballer whatever it is that's your dream I'd also say follow your dreams yeah it's a difficult one because the amount of millions of people that would probably want to be a professional footballer if everyone wanted to be a professional footballer didn't refuse to do anything else but play football then I think the entire the western world in fact the entire world would just collapse the economy would collapse because not everyone can be a professional footballer I guess follow your dreams do something you enjoy as well,

that's something else I mean I know I'm talking about jobs and stuff but in life generally if you're going to work and you're going to be doing 40 hours a week or whatever do something you're going to enjoy and get paid I mean what I did is I ended up getting paid practically nothing for the first two years of my work life and even though I was just really young there's no excuse really still need to get paid still need to especially when you're young if you want to go out and do stuff and have a nice clothes and when you get to 17 or whatever you want to perhaps get a car,

learn to drive you need money for that so you need a decent enough coming in for you to enjoy your youth if you can not everyone can do that, I wasn't able to but at the same time I didn't know it was an option I just took the first job I could get and I kept doing that for pretty much my whole working life just went from one job to the next just grabbed hold of the next opportunity what I saw as an opportunity and I ended up I didn't end up with anything all I ended up with was debt living in a damp rubbish old room and being ill so yeah that wasn't,

I'm not saying that that was just my life but I think if I had spent more time doing things that I enjoyed as a job doing something, it's not even a case of doing what you enjoy it's finding out what you enjoy I think that's the challenge that's the challenge, I know some people absolutely love what they do for a job and they may tell you themselves that they just it was luck they happened to start working in a place and they realised they enjoyed it they didn't know they were

going to and that could be anything that could be data entry it could be working behind a bar it could be whatever it is and I think that's with so many things one person's nightmare job can be another person's dream job I absolutely did not like working behind a bar but I've met people that love it absolutely love it and I didn't like one second that I ever spent behind a bar and I had a couple of jobs doing that two full time jobs so yeah it's find what you enjoy

doing go for your dream so I have gone for I did go for my dream I went for my dream to be a stand up comedian I moved to London to do it I did do it for what 7 8 years or whatever it was but I was never successful I had some good gigs had lots of very medium and even more really bad ones but it feels quite nice the fact that I did it at least I attempted it I didn't know what I was doing at all and in

some ways it could be argued that I wasted my 20s now I lived in pretty much poverty you know just on the poverty level for most of my 20s in and out of work just you know so it's just how it was at least I tried so I think that's alright I think try to do if you can find what you love doing now you know this is like advice to a young person I suppose not that anyone would listen to me I think do what you love even if you

can't do it as a job just try and you need to do what you love doing you know at some point in the week whether it's going to badminton once a week whether it's having building train model railways in your garage there's millions of different versions of this whatever makes you feel happy do that even if you can't do it as a job and do it have it separate at least do that and ideally try and if you can at an early age try and get a job find a job

that you're going to enjoy doing and I don't mean all the time because no job is going to be pleasant all the time even the best job in the world is going to be boring and tedious and challenging at times that's my opinion the other thing is youth is wasted on the young that's an old saying isn't it make the most of yourself if you're able to maybe appreciate what you do have knowing that it won't always be there and I don't necessarily mean people but that is one thing if

you've got relatives that are a fair bit older than you this is me talking to a young a young young young person maybe if you can cherish them realise that they're not going to be around forever perhaps elderly grandparents even friends, people come and go out of your life don't they which is just natural and if you're really young and you're with someone maybe appreciate how lucky you are to be with that person because there might come a time in the future when you look back and you'll think oh well

I wish I'd really appreciated it at the time and the amount I've seen like blokes in their 20s or even late teens I've seen them clearly not appreciating the girlfriend that they've got not realising that when they're in their 40s they're going to look back and think wow how lucky they were to even have females give them any attention at all perhaps I mean not for everyone but I've noticed I'm more and more invisible as I got older not in size I became bigger as I got older but I definitely

became invisible very much so what advice would I give a young person have fun try and have fun but not at other people's expense it's a hard one really because I never listened to anyone when I was young really didn't listen to a single person I didn't really take advice from anybody I don't know what advice would I give find something you love doing because I sometimes wonder if I could have well to be fair the internet I started doing this kind of as soon as podcasting was around I had

been doing this as long as I started doing this before YouTube and Facebook even came out so technically not ahead of the game but I was kind of doing this but I wasn't doing this it took me a long time to find my voice I don't know there's probably lots of people who wish I hadn't but I did and me just waffling on like this it took a long time for me to just be me whatever that is this is the one I found it so to any young people listen to this your voice and what you've got to say is as equally important as what anyone else has got to say so if you've got an opinion,

if you've got feelings, your feelings how you feel about something is valid if someone says oh it doesn't matter what you feel it's not true, it does matter what you feel, it might not matter to them but it still matters to you the problem with if you're young very young, you don't have the because of the hierarchy, because of the teachers are the boss parents are the boss police are the boss adults seem to all be the boss of kids so it can be difficult but once you become a teenager,

once you become like 15, 16, 17 18 19 what you may find, and I found this even in my 20's older people will talk down to you sometimes maybe a lot of times and may shut you down verbally, almost as if what you have to say is not valid because you're so young and that they feel like they know everything because they're in their 40's or their 50's and I sometimes think that the older I get, the less I know and I remember keeping quiet not feeling in the slightest bit confidence in my own words,

in my own voice because I was constantly being shut down by older people not necessarily much older, sometimes just a few years older, sometimes decades older and when you realise that your voice is just as relevant as anyone else's your feelings are just as relevant as anyone else's just as important as I said, maybe not to them, but to you also I know this is probably getting a bit heavy but for any kid listening never at any age, let somebody bully you, ever don't allow it whether you're, whatever sex you are,

boy, girl, whatever whatever you are do not allow anybody to bully you, ever I know some would say, well I can't trust me, don't allow it nip that in the bud at a very early age if you can I did, I mean I had I suppose maybe I had an advantage because I had two older brothers and also kids couldn't do anything, I was used to dealing with adults when I was little so kids weren't really scary to me, other kids didn't intimidate me I never let anyone bully me,

no kids don't ever let a kid bully you, ever when you're a kid, and when you're an adult don't let any adult bully you, either if you're a kid and an adult is trying to give you hassle make sure you tell another adult an appropriate person and I realise you said appropriate instead of appropriate but perhaps I need to do a podcast for young people I don't know how young we were going with this, a younger self is this for me to give myself a younger it wasn't for young people listeners for my younger self,

I do apologise I'll go back if I was going to sell my, go back and tell my younger self the first thing I would do probably is don't do not walk into that chip shop and ask for a job that's one of the things I would tell myself I'm like, straight away there's different times in my life I would go back and correct correct the pathway I was going on and I know the whole cliche if I hadn't done that then I wouldn't have led to this I have to have

the bad times and the good times because then I wouldn't be where I am now I'm not sure if I'd really want to be where I am now to be fair, I don't know if this was where I would, this was where I was hoping I would end up so I'd definitely go back and do that I would give advice to myself keep away from alcohol and any other stuff like that avoid at all costs chaos and chaotic people definitely would that would be a bit of advice there I'd like

to think that I could go back and tell myself to try harder at school but I just don't think that was going to happen the only way I could do something is if I'm interested in it I have to almost become fanatical about something in order for me to really learn to sit and study I have to be all encompassing that thing that's happened a few times in my life happened with hypnosis happened with website building happened with werewolves and the occult when I was at school it happened with this

stuff that I do now it's still happening with this stuff this is the only thing I've got any interest in doing really I mean as long as it's hopefully helping people then I'll continue boring people just sleep what would I tell my younger self I suppose it's a cliche don't drink, don't smoke, eat healthy I definitely would have said to myself keep doing the karate keep doing it get yourself a job on the docks with your evenings free and continue doing the karate get help get whatever help you can to

find yourself somewhere decent to live a flat somewhere that I could live get myself on the council list that kind of situation I probably would have had a council flat quite early on actually if I had done that all things considered my situation back then so there's different versions of my younger self that I would give advice to that would be one of them that kind of period some things I can't say because it's pretty extreme some of the things that I would tell myself to do when I was very

young I suppose I'd like to tell myself there's certain times that things are going to be ok to be able to come back from the past or from the future rather and say look good news I'm from your future I'm 54 this is me in 2024 I've come back the good news is everything is going to be ok you don't need to worry about this thing that is just overwhelming you at the moment everything is going to be ok so I've got good news and bad news and that's the good news what's the bad news?

this is how you're going to look when you're 54 oh no and so yeah there's going to be different times where I would give advice advice don't destroy my belongings that would be one don't ever get a credit card don't ever get a loan don't ever get in debt ever that would be my advice to me because that didn't suit me I think also I would have advised myself to find a way to straighten my hair when it was long rather than just have it be all curly because I think I might have enjoyed it more there's at least a couple of occasions from a romantic perspective that I would like to have intervened intervened?

two two, two, only two maybe three two in a kind of a nice way in a sense of two women that I didn't pursue that seemed to like me when I say pursue I mean just date really I would have gone both I'd give myself advice to spend time with both of those people in a kind of romantic environment to see whether or not it was it would you know transform into something pretty amazing and I think it's possible both of those could have been it's just only two hmm I'm trying to think what other things I'd give myself a lot of advice over the years like don't do that don't do it,

stop, don't do that don't do that yeah yeah I wouldn't, yeah it's little things there's a few things that I really would have stopped myself but I think that's normal for everyone to be fair I think I'm trying to think of like a really good bit of advice allow myself to be happy maybe allow myself to believe that I'm allow someone to love me maybe open myself up to that yeah I guess I don't know how I would be able to portray that message yeah okay so I'll move on, thanks Sean Christine asks you said your dad and his wife are going abroad this Christmas where are they going?

they're not going abroad they're going to go and stay with my sister so they are going yeah because my dad has to have some treatment, some medical stuff next week so he should be okay enough to go before Christmas to go for Christmas rather so that will be a break so they're going to go there have Christmas there and that's with my step mum's well it's my step sister,

my step mum's daughter so they're both going to be there so yeah they should be nice I was speaking to them the other day and I said that would be good because to my dad he wouldn't have to do quite so much and my step mum started laughing because my dad doesn't do anything at Christmas but he is the life and soul of Christmas though he loves Christmas so that's it so Christine asks which way is easiest to send you money a money gift finding that a bit tricky this is

a genuine question on now I'm not just adding this because I want people's money and I mean I have a PayPal thing on my Jason Newland's Boring Group there's right at the top of the page PayPal.com forward slash Jason Newland but honestly it's fine I'm just beginning just to accept how things are right now so that is always handy to pay off some of the costs of running this thing I'm trying to cut down the costs anyway and I could actually cut down the costs by yeah I can't get rid of the images because I need the images 20,

30, yeah so 25, 35, 40 so I need at least 40 quid 40 pound a month for that and then never 20 so that's 60 65 and what else yeah that's it really PayPal's the only thing I don't know what else I can put on there but you know I don't expect anyone to send me anything to be fair it's just it's nice when it happens it happens occasionally and it's just really to cover the costs or if you want me to buy myself a coffee or something that's very kind

of you or I mean I could put an Amazon what do they call it like a list shopping list or whatever for Vinnie because he loves treats and any help towards getting him food and that's always good but yeah we seem to have run out of questions we seem to have run out of questions my goodness who would have thought that that would happen I don't know how long we've been talking let's have a look wow nearly two hours how can it be two hours I've not said a damn thing

oh dear Mr Newland your module E104 is now underway and we hope you've enjoyed your studies we've noticed that you've not submitted your first assignment did you not get my message and I got a message earlier saying thank you for speaking with me regarding your study we've now forwarded your request to withdraw from the psychology degree it takes a week for that to do oh dear so that's it I don't think there's any more questions I'm going to have summer to eat summer to eat oh yes I'm going to be

in bed by ten because I want to listen to the Nick Abbott show on LBC I'll probably be up quite early I don't know I might try and get this podcast edited and uploaded but it is five past seven in the evening and I feel a bit tired to be fair a little bit tired just a little bit tired so thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy be gentle with yourself lots of love bye

Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.