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Hello and welcome to... Trivia, Trivia, Trivia Tuesday Trivia, Trivia, Trivia Tuesday Blimey! It's getting worse, isn't it? It's getting worse. So, hey, my name's Jason Newland. Hi.
Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. This has Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Now, Vinnie…has been very naughty.
I took him into the field, right? Took him into the field. A lovely walk. We get home, so he walks all the way around the field.
For an hour, for about an hour. Maybe longer, I don't know. Let me see, I can find out exactly how long he was out for.
Where is it? I get back. I leave at... What? Okay, blimey. Right, I leave at…3.56 And I get home at…3.47 So it's pretty much nearly an hour.
I just got that on my camera. So, we're going to the field, walk all the way around. The field is a little bit muddy, but not enough to cause problems for me.
On my shoes, and it's not particularly slippery and stuff. We get home and he's got the speedies. Running around, scratching at stuff.
And I'm thinking, okay, he's got mud and stuff in his toes, on his feet. He needs to clean his feet. I couldn't get hold of him.
I could not grab him. I was bonfire night tonight. Just heard the fireworks.
Hoping he's going to be alright. Got freaked out the other night, on Saturday I think it was. And we're just walking back from the park.
And we're heading home. And this big bunch of fireworks went off. And he freaked and ran.
I mean, he was on the lead, but he ran back into the park. I just followed him because I was wondering where he was going. And it freaked him out.
So, yeah, they're not good for dogs. The thing is, I don't remember last... I should explain what bonfire night is. Some people might not know what it is.
So in the UK, or in England anyway, I don't know if other parts of the UK celebrate it. We celebrate... It's Guy Fawkes. Basically, it's a celebration of a terrorist attack that was thwarted.
That's the right word. So Guy Fawkes tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament. And they found... I don't know what the exact thing was.
I don't know if it maybe didn't go off properly. Or someone found the big boulders of fire. Gunpowder, I think it was.
So it was Guy Fawkes. And so to celebrate it, we have bonfires where it used to be like a model of Guy Fawkes would be on the fire. Like burning him.
Which is a bit grim really, thinking about it. But it used to be a really big thing when I was a kid. Halloween seems to have become bigger in England.
Well, the part I live. I mean, I can't really talk for the whole of the UK or the whole of England or the whole of even my street really. But I can only go what I've noticed in my local area.
Halloween seems to be a bit bigger than it used to be when I was a kid. Guy Fawkes used to be... In my memory, it was the bigger night. It was... I'm not even going to talk about it.
This isn't the subject. The trivia. But it used to be a bigger night.
It used to be... For me, it was quite a big occasion for my family. My step mum would put on all these... Like a big buffet of pizzas. All cooked, home cooked.
Cakes and crisps. And it was lovely. Like a wedding buffet almost.
And I think my nan and grandad would come round. I've got itchy bum. Wait a minute.
That's better. What are you staring at? We had a little disagreement earlier. Me and him.
He bit me. He tried to bite me. When I was trying to clean his feet.
He literally, he didn't just growl. He tried to bite me. Like properly.
A little bit angry. Well, I'm not that angry with him now. But at the time, I was like... It was four, about seven minutes ago.
So I was angry then. Now, I just let it go. But I'm surprised at how aggressive he gets.
Bearing in mind, I was trying to help him. I wasn't trying to hurt him. I was trying to help him.
If I was like... Messing with him, you know. Like poking him, trodding him. Doing stuff to annoy him.
Then yeah, fair enough. He should be biting me. If I'm purposely hurting him or something.
But I wasn't. I was trying to help him. He got very aggressive with me.
So, yeah. So I just left his feet. Let him get on with it.
So he's going to have mud stuck in his toes. I can't do anything. I managed to clean the two front ones.
His two hands. But his feet... He just wouldn't let me get near. Last time, I got him in the bath.
And I scrubbed his feet in the bath. Once he's in the bath, he just stands there. He lets me wash him.
So, yeah. Funny. I had a big firework went off.
He started barking just then. He's not enjoying it. Calm down.
It's okay, mate. It's just fireworks. You're safe.
You're with me. You're safe. Even though he did try and bite me.
That's it. Calm down. Vinnie.
It's just fireworks. Honestly. He's quite an anxious... Calm down.
It's... Vinnie... It's not his fault. It's fireworks. Fireworks and dogs don't necessarily mix.
I haven't got anything to give him to distract him. I've got no bones or anything. Oh.
Give me cuddles, Vin. I would just put him in the bedroom. But then he'll be there on his own.
And that's not fair, really. If he's anxious, he needs me, doesn't he? He needs me to be with him. It's alright, baby.
You can be fine. I just wish he realised that he was safe. It's like he doesn't know.
Come on. Calm down. It's alright, baby.
It's alright, darling. It's alright. It's alright.
It's alright. So... I left his little barky barks in then. As it's right at the beginning of the recording.
I won't allow that as we get further on. I'll have to edit those out. I thought I'd just let you know.
That's not him barking. That's just him moaning. That's just the aftershocks of his actual scream.
It's very high pitched. I might actually make a recording of him barking one day. Just so you can hear it.
I might actually release an unedited version. Where he's just non-stop barking throughout. Just so you can get an idea of how much work is involved.
For me. First of all, to keep trying to concentrate on what I'm doing. Especially when it's a hypnosis recording.
It's very difficult to get back into that mindset. Where he's been barking. I don't know if he's going to bark again.
Then the editing. The editing takes forever. Am I just moaning today? Blimey.
Guy Fawkes. Which is also called Bonfire Night. I thought it was called Bomb Fire.
But it's Bonfire. I don't know what Bon means. But Bomb Fire made sense to me.
Because it was about bombs that were stopped. Because that's what it was. Guy Fawkes tried to bomb the... What's it's... Is it Houses of Parliament? So that used to be a thing.
Another thing connected to it would be... As kids we'd walk around. We'd make a guy. Which is basically... Quite often it would be... Something to put onto a bonfire.
In the shape of a human. An adult. And perhaps it would be made of papier-mâché.
The face maybe. Sometimes it would just be... Clothes tied at the end and then filled with newspaper. To give the shape of a... It's kind of like a scarecrow really.
But without the crow. Or the straw or the scare part. And... When I was a kid we used to have fireworks in the garden.
And it was always cold. It's not cold tonight. It's not warm.
I'm not going to walk around in my underpants. For various reasons other than legal. But it's not cold how I remember it.
I remember it used to be freezing cold. I don't remember one occasion. When I was a kid on bonfire night.
When it wasn't absolutely... Very cold. Very, very, very chilly. It's all there with our gloves on and our hats and stuff.
Although I have worn a hat. The last two days because of my hair. And yesterday I felt ill.
I felt like I was coming down with a cold. So I can't avoid going out unfortunately. I have to take him out.
So I thought I'll wear a hat. At least keep the heat in my head. And today I feel better than I did yesterday.
It's weird. Really, really didn't feel well at all yesterday. I was sneezing and all kinds of stuff.
Ah, blimey. It's weird. So I did get quite a bit of rest.
Now the problem I'm having at the moment is... There's not enough time in the day. To really produce two recordings a day. And you maybe think why would you record two a day? Well, I still want to continue doing the Let Me Bore You To Sleep.
You know, recordings, one a day if I can. So, you know. Although I'm not calling it Monday Boring Objects anymore.
But it is Sleepy Boring Objects. So I'll do that on a Monday. Tuesday is Trivia Tuesday.
Friday is the Q&A Friday. I'm hoping to get back to doing the Sunday papers as well. Sunday newspapers.
Can you hear that? Blimey, it's quite loud. It's not far away. We're quite close.
But he's... I think he's starting to get used to it now. So it's not bothering him too much. And maybe because he's... He's cuddled up to my legs.
So maybe he feels a bit more... A bit more calmer perhaps. Especially now that I'm not touching his feet anymore. Blimey.
That was ridiculous, honestly. I know he doesn't understand. But I'm just trying to help.
I'm just trying to help him. Oh, he's got hiccups. Yeah, I think he's getting nervous.
He's... Hey darling. It's alright baby. It's alright, I'm here.
Yeah, he's... I don't remember him getting affected by this last year though. Because this is the second year. The second Guy Fawkes night that I've had him.
Living with me. The... Is it? Yes it is, yeah. I don't know what I was doing last year.
I would have been with Luke, so we would have... I don't know what we would have done. Perhaps we... I don't know. We probably would have gone out somewhere.
Not to watch the fireworks, but just... I suppose really... I'm going to be talking about fireworks. That seems to be the thing. Because there's fireworks going on in the background.
This might not be... Ideal for Falling Asleep To. I apologise. I'm recording it.
It's... It's currently 7 minutes past 6pm. And... This is the time I'm recording it. If I'd have done it a couple of hours ago, then it wouldn't have been an issue.
Just really... I forgot it was Bonfire Night. I didn't forget, but... I forgot about the fireworks. I suppose I assumed that... Because there's fireworks on a Saturday night.
And there was some fireworks also on... Halloween. Which I think was... Was it Friday? 31st? Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday... No. Thursday.
So last Thursday was Halloween. And so 5th today. So I just... And there was fireworks on Halloween as well.
So in London, and probably other cities as well... You get fireworks... A lot more often... Than in little towns. Because you've got the... Quite a few different religious festivals... That have fireworks. So that can be quite interesting.
Because at the moment, really... There are... Probably twice a year we have fireworks. Like an official firework time. One would be Guy Fawkes, or Bonfire Night, or... Firework Day, whatever you want to call it.
November the 5th. The other one would be on... At midnight. On the 1st of January.
You know, like one minute... New Year's Eve, midnight, whatever. So... I mean... When I was a kid, we used to have a summer festival. Or summer fete.
And there would be fireworks in the evening as well. So I remember once it set fire to the trees. Because the fireworks went off of... It might have been windy.
That's a bit weird, isn't it? It might have been windy. So the fireworks... Or they just mis-aimed them. Perhaps the trees had grown over further... Than it had been the previous year.
So they hadn't... Worked that into their... Calculations. Perhaps. Yeah, Fire Brigade was called.
When I was a kid, I thought it was exciting. But yeah. So I... I used to like fireworks.
There was something I used to love and... Dislike, kind of... In almost equal measure. And... That is the sparklers. Because I love the sparklers.
I like the smell. I like the fact that they sparkled. And holding them and... Waving them around in the dark and... Making figure of eights and... You know, all that kind of stuff.
Loved them. What I didn't like about them was... How hot they got. And how often I would burn my fingers on them.
I'm talking year in, year out. Every... November the 5th, I'd end up burning my fingers. And it was scalding.
It wasn't just like... Ouch, it was... You know, you have to dip your hands in the snow. Which is annoying, but it's difficult. Because quite often there was no snow.
So I'd have to travel to another country. By then I'd have probably healed up, but... So... I'd have to run to the freezer, you know. So I... If I'd be wearing gloves... Quite often, I didn't know.
It would burn down and it would burn through the gloves. But if I didn't have any gloves on... Then... For some reason... Practically every year, I forgot that it got hot. I just forgot.
And I'd pick it up and I'd like... And it just... I'd get burnt. I'm talking every single year. I didn't learn.
Didn't learn nout. It's weird. But my nan and grandad would be there.
My stepmum's mum would be there. I think my uncle and aunt who lived round the corner would also be there. My three brothers would be there.
My dad and my stepmum would be there. I would be there. And... I don't know, there might have even been other people.
Like neighbours might have come round as well. I really don't remember. I'm not 100% sure.
There might have been some locals. My dad had friends. The family had friends locally.
Next door neighbours and stuff. So there might have been... My stepmum, I think she was best friends with the next door neighbour. The lady.
So she might have been round with her husband. And... Yeah, I just don't remember actually. I don't remember other people because I was focused on the fireworks I suppose.
And eating as much pizza and cake as I could. I'll tell you one thing about my first stepmum. Well both of them actually to be fair.
Both my stepmums amazing cooks. Like... I don't say that lightly. I mean really, really amazing.
It's... Yeah, phenomenal. Really. My first stepmum, she loved me.
It's kind of... Maybe that's part of the reason my dad ended up marrying them both. Because he liked being with someone that could cook. Because my dad, when he lived on his own.
And I lived with him for a little while. His meal making was... I think all he had in the kitchen for a while anyway. Was the fridge freezer.
And a microwave. That was it. So he'd have boiled potatoes out of a tin.
Microwave them. And baked beans. Microwave them.
And I don't know what else would go with that. There must have been something else. That he would microwave.
But I can't remember. What would go with that? What would go with baked beans and potatoes? I'm not sure. Pie, that's it.
I was going to try something you can microwave. Yeah, a pie. So like a beef or chicken pie.
And he'd microwave that. So that would be the dinner. I had to edit out the fireworks then.
It was very loud. Very loud indeed. Lily's sitting on the floor.
Are you alright? You can cuddle. Come up and cuddle Vin if you like. I can't get under the table with you.
Isn't it weird? He's so aggressive sometimes. But so kind of... I don't know. The opposite other times.
You alright darling? I can't believe I'm communicating to him. To explain that first of all, I'm trying to help him. And secondly, that he's safe.
And neither of those things I can communicate. I wish I could. I do.
So, what's it doing? What was I talking about? Oh yeah. So, I really, really... I enjoyed Firework Night. It was one year, we didn't have fireworks outside.
Okay. And what we did have... Da, da, da... And this was a new thing. This was like a new fad.
It didn't last very long. Indoor fireworks. I'm talking like, specifically indoor fireworks.
Now, I didn't realise that there was such a thing. I didn't know there was any difference. So, when my dad said, go and get the fireworks and set them up in the living room.
So I did. He said, we're going to have them indoors. I thought, okay.
Bit of a weird place to have fireworks. I mean the ceiling is so low. But you know.
And, certainly after the third one, he said, stop lighting them. They're the ones for outside. He had a different box for the old one.
They were like worms. It was really weird. They like, they exploded.
It was almost... It's hard to explain. Like foamy stuff. It would squirt out.
Like silly string. It was fun. But nothing like fireworks.
You know. It was very strange. And made a mess.
Completely made a mess. And, I think we did it once and then thought, no. Never again.
It was kind of like the same kind of thing that happened when I was born. My parents looked at each other and said, nope. No more.
Never again. That was that kind of situation. So I, I was a cute baby.
I'm sure I was. I don't know. You've not seen no photographs of me as a baby.
They don't exist. It's almost like I didn't, it's like I suddenly became a somewhere. But then there's nothing of me when I was, no that's not true.
There's a photograph of my nan with me in a pram or like a push chair. So I was probably a year and a half or something. Maybe two.
I was a toddler, like really quite young. And so, it's a black and white photograph. Didn't have colour photographs back then I don't think.
And did they have talkies yet? I don't know. So that was one of the only pictures there is of me as like a little, little, little child. Yeah.
So Guy Fawkes. Hmm. I don't, I can't even remember the last time I attended a firework display.
No, I don't think I did. Last time I attended a firework display. I've seen firework displays on television.
You know like opening ceremony or closing ceremony of a sporting event. I think the Olympic Games has fireworks doesn't it? New Year's Eve, every New Year's Eve I'm at home watching it on TV. I used to be out during my twenties until I was about thirty-one.
And then well no, it's not okay. Also up to middle thirties I suppose I was still going up to the comedy club. Yeah, I used to go up there sometimes like up to about I think 2005 and then I stopped.
Then I didn't go up New Year's Eve anymore. 2006 I remember a friend of mine phoned me up and I said no because I said I've got a girlfriend. He said well leave her at home.
No he didn't. He said bring her with you. I said no, it defeats the object doesn't it? That conversation didn't happen.
I just said no, I can't. I want to spend it with my girlfriend. My lovely, wonderful girlfriend.
He said she's listening isn't she? I said yep. She is just sitting right next to me. So yeah, I didn't.
That was the last time I ever went was the year before that. And it was a regular thing. A regular thing.
I mean 2004 even I went up New Year's Eve. So I'd had a year of not drinking or anything for a year and I went up 2004. Yeah, so 2004 I went up there and I broke my year's abstination that's the right word abstination which was weird because a whole year of not doing anything and suddenly bang like oh so that was I think that was the last New Year's Eve that I spent in a comedy club.
It might not have been though. I might have gone back in 2007, 2008, 2009 2010 I don't know, I might have done I just don't remember. I don't have a memory of it.
I genuinely don't remember. I mean there's a good chance I did but I just don't recall whether I did or not.
The memory yeah I mean so I used to get hotel rooms just round the corner sometimes it would be further away but I'd try and get one as close to the club as possible and so I just had to walk walk across the road to get to the hotel so it'd just be it's like a holiday inn kind of thing but they're expensive in London it still cost me like £100 odd for the night but I was working so it wasn't it was just like a one-off payment it was not
like it was every week yeah other times I could stay at my friends as well so I remember one day he came up to me and I think I'd left the club I wasn't I wasn't there anymore I'd moved away and so this was like 2002 so I'm still visiting still going up there and I'm standing outside chatting to someone and he comes up to me and he hands me a big bunch of keys and I said what's that he said it's just a house keys just whenever you're down there
you can just come and stay with me he gave me his house keys to his home and it was lovely and I remember I mentioned it to him I never really took I never used them but I remember I mentioned it to him recently he said he started laughing I said what were you laughing for he said I found them on a warehouse floor they'd been there for about 20 years I don't know what they were for but yeah I used to babysit his cat sometimes he had a cat called
Corky so I used to babysit when he was away or he was on holiday or something and 2000 and I think it was 2006 maybe 2007 maybe 2005 but I stayed with him for about 3 or 4 days because I went to a big cinema seminar with Anthony Robbins so I stayed with him then I'll tell you what was annoying I was actually looking after his flat because this is when I was living in a little room in London and I couldn't really have visitors or guests overnight guests and I
met someone and I think it was a bank holiday weekend so my friend went away asked me to look after his house babysit Corky the cat and I saw this as not an opportunity to take advantage but an opportunity to invite someone I'd met to if she wanted to come round and I could take her out and you know maybe cook her a meal or I don't know something like that because I'd met her previously I wasn't just phoning random strangers up I don't do that anymore and she didn't she
didn't want to come and I think the problem with that situation was we met and we we got on really well and we were going to go out and I said something I think that annoyed her because her response was so I'd just had a phone call while the fireworks were going off downstairs neighbour's downstairs neighbour wanted toilet roll that's where I get phone calls and messages nearly every day from people wanting stuff want to borrow stuff money it's like you name it people are asking for it I even I
thought I'd put my phone to do not disturb and the phone number it's still it's down as wifi call so she must have used her wifi to call me I thought it was do not disturb yeah no airplane mode but the phone call still came through maybe maybe that doesn't stop phone calls coming through sigh I mean honestly yesterday I was in bed because I wasn't feeling very well yesterday I had she just called again where's the toilet roll I'm just giving it to your sister okay so that's two she
said to her how are you phoning me when I've got it on airplane mode she said I don't know I said I'm trying to block people from phoning me so yesterday I had 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 phone calls and 6 of those were all after I'd gone to bed sigh I know I'm moaning I'm having a moany night I want to be able to leave my phone on in case there's an emergency not from neighbours also from neighbours in an emergency but I'm thinking more of like family
you know I want to be able to have my phone on so if I get a phone call from my dad or from my step mum or whatever just so I'm available or you know a couple of good friends so I'm available for them but instead what I get is phone calls from people wanting stuff and you know one of Luke's friends phones up when he's drunk you know he started phoning up in the middle of the night a few months back it's I don't want to change my number because
everyone that needs my number's got it you know all the doctors and all the different places the official places they've got my telephone number and I want that to just stay the same I don't want to have to change it again oh well moany, moany, moany, moany, moany moany yeah so yesterday did I have I mean the day before I think it was like was it I don't know Friday how many phone calls did I get on Friday Friday, Friday, Friday oh just one oh no it's a Saturday no it's a Wednesday I had one,
two, three four different people phone me and there was one day I don't think it was last week I think it was the week before I was asked four times to lend money four times in one day it's just it it's hard to explain how I feel about it if it wasn't for Vinnie I wouldn't leave the front door I wouldn't go out honestly I definitely wouldn't answer the front door in fact I'm probably not going to answer the front door anymore I mean I don't begrudge someone some toilet roll
I really don't but you know if someone keeps phoning up asking for other stuff like it's like do you never buy anything but it's like constantly asking for that money I'll read some of it out to you I'll read some of it out to you let's have a look shall we have a look let's share it together erm hi do you have 17 pound this is the 23rd of October so it was it's a little while erm do you have 17 pound in your account until 4pm when unpaid sorry got
no money so that was it and so anyway that was gone and then the 19th of October which was a few days earlier are you awake if you are can you have can I have 6 or 8 pound I can borrow until Tuesday so it's like you never pay she never pays anything back ever I always helped her when she first moved in doesn't pay a single thing back is I lent someone money it's I think it was November a different person and she literally hid from me hid and it
wasn't even a lot of money like 50 quid or something hid and I was so annoyed because it was always like I'll do it Friday or Wednesday so I kept going back and no I'll do it and she kept putting off excuse after excuse so I just said to her look keep it I couldn't it was annoying me so much so I had to just let it go and of course I'm going to pay it back don't worry yeah sure but it's just I'm talking about it but I noticed how
I was reacting and I thought no I've got to stop stop this here and she's not asked for anything since and I don't think she would so that was good that was kind of a quite good investment really but there's another person yeah someone downstairs borrowed some money and it went from oh can you lend me 10 quid I suppose you could make it 20 and then it started going up it went up to 70 pound can you make it 70 no 30 I could do 30 and then it came
to paying it back oh I haven't got it yet I will pay it back I mean she did pay it back eventually but it was late good luck week late and I thought after that that's done so she still phones asking to borrow money and I always say no and it's always 20 pound usually if someone always asks for the exact same amount of money then there's a good chance it's for exactly the same thing that they want the money for they want that 20 pound to buy something that costs
20 pound so if the electricity runs out they need 20 pound they need to get a taxi they need 20 pound they need to buy some chocolate bars they need 20 pound they need to buy a house they need 20 pound you know whatever it is it's 20 pound so it's kind of like okay you know if you join the little the little dots and join the little ends of rope together you know it connects if you know what I mean I'm being vague so always 20 pound it's rare at
the moment I don't go more than a week or two weeks without her asking for money I always say no and what people do is they go down trying to get her to pay for them and because I know that happens as well I say no and it's oh it is a funny one I had someone come up here right and he said my wheel has burst like the tyre the tyre's gone and I need to get a new wheel I need 40 quid to get a new wheel I don't
know where you would buy a new wheel for 40 quid to be fair you know they're more expensive than that but I need 40 quid to get a new wheel I said no he said go on I said I don't have 40 quid I think this was in January or something he said I'll go on I said no I'll go on I said you can ask me as many times as you want the answer's still going to be the same and he got the ump and he left I needed to
take Vinnie out for a walk so I go downstairs he's outside changing the wheel with one that was in his boot he had a spare in the boot and this was like probably 6, 7 minutes after he left so he hadn't gone and found the money and gone and bought one he didn't need that money well he didn't need it for that or she she or he didn't need it for that so it's just like how many different times can you be allow it to happen and sometimes the only thing
I can do is not answer the phone or not answer the door I mean the other night seriously the other night one of the neighbours phoned up and she was whispering and I'm thinking she's in trouble bloody fireworks see I don't know how how much the fireworks are actually registering yeah sorry I don't know how much you can hear I can hear they're really loud but those didn't seem particularly loud but they might have been so apologies if they are so yeah so she was whispering and I'm thinking she's in
trouble and then she hangs the phone up so I'm straight down there banging on a door with my phone in case I need to call the police or worse you know just like I don't know what's going to happen here and I was worried about her because I do care about the people that live in this building even the ones that have ripped me off and just think of me as a mug I still care about them because they're human beings and they're my neighbours and I do I will help
them if I can just not financially because I don't have the finances to help anybody because I if she was in trouble I wanted whoever it was if she had someone else in there to know that she wasn't alone that she had someone there I don't know how to explain it but I was ready ready for action whatever the action was it was nothing she basically just wanted to borrow some money I said why were you whispering then she said oh so I guess she didn't want whoever was with her
to hear that she was who knows I don't know but it just freaked me out and I said alright then I didn't even answer whether she could borrow money I just left it because I'm never going to lend her money ever under any circumstances or the other person downstairs now my other neighbour I would because I know the one opposite me he'd pay it back which he has done he lost his debit card I gave him 50 quid or something once and he when he got paid when he got his
debit card back he gave it back to me but he's an 80 year old man he's going to I'm not saying his age has anything to do with it but he's just he'll do it and the other neighbour who's just done I think he's about 80 as well I'd trust him to pay it back and the female downstairs below me I know that she'd pay it back because she did once so there's certain people so there's one that pays it back late and keeps asking the other one just didn't even
attempt to pay it back and keeps asking I'm not lending anything and it's easier for me to not answer the phone or not answer the door than to actually be asked because if they ask me then I don't know what to do with that you know it's like so I find it hard to say no and I really want to say no so I got a message even last night someone phoned and they're saying just see if you're ok I don't know who the person is I don't recognise the telephone
number it's weird just strange I don't know if they've got it's like they've got an idea got the impression that I've got money and I don't maybe it's because I just look so handsome I mean I walk around in really rubbish clothes like tracksuit bottoms like seven pairs of the same tracksuit bottoms I don't dress nicely and I have done in the past but not recently I'd like to again one day maybe it's because they know I don't go out they know that I don't drink I don't socialise I don't
perhaps they think well I'm not spending my money on anything but actually doing this costs me money and I'm still paying off the laptop that I use everyday for the editing and all the stuff that I do online for this podcast stuff I've still got over a thousand pounds to pay off of that so yeah I've got no money man I've got no money I can't lend people anything and you know I sometimes think well I kind of I try and fool myself I think I am fooling myself that I'm
somehow I can't do anything without fireworks if I keep stopping I'll be doing this till 11.30 at night so if the fireworks are annoying you just turn it off I probably would it's annoying me I'm just being grumpy am I a grumpy firework hater I don't I like fireworks actually if I'm out watching them it's one of those things if it's forced on you it's different if I want to watch the fireworks I'll go to a firework display or I'll have fireworks myself in the garden if that's what I want
to do if I don't want to watch a firework display then I won't it's a I call it the Elton John Syndrome and some of you might think what the hell is he talking about now weird you're weird ok it's the Elton John Syndrome back in 2004 I lived near the football stadium in the town I lived in literally round the corner it was a red light district as well it's not relative it's not really anything to do with this story but this was in 2004 and Elton John was playing
a concert there and I remember the big queues and thinking wow it was you know I don't know if there's any is there anyone that can match the longevity of him like the touring the thousands and thousands of performances he's done over the years well I wasn't in the mood to listening to Elton John singing but I did not have a choice I was literally in the stadium I might as well have been in the stadium it might not have even been as loud which doesn't make sense at all does
it but I could hear every single sound every word he said every song he sung not only could I hear it I could not hear the television over it no matter how loud I put the TV up I could not hear the television it was that loud and I wanted to watch EastEnders I did which some would argue people are paying a lot of money to go and see Elton John why not just enjoy it sit back relax it's a summer evening maybe sit in the garden I don't know if
there was a garden in that place I can't remember there was a front not garden but there was like a a driveway was there a garden in the back never went there once it was a big old house but it was what was there 1, 2 there was 3 rooms at the bottom 3 rooms in the middle and then 2 rooms at the top I was at the top so I was at 3 4, 5, 6 7,
8 so there was more than 4 rooms and there was a toilet on the middle like it was kind of to be fair I think it was on the stairs not on the stairs itself I think it was I think it was off the landing one of the landings that was kind of in between the stairs if that makes sense the stairs went up there was a little landing a bog and then there was another set of stairs on the second floor which was mine so the second floor had a
bathroom as well so there was 2 toilets and there was only 2 people working when I was living there it was only me and one other person that was working everyone else was kind of retired I think kind of so I don't want to listen to Elton John even though you know millions of people would love the opportunity to listen to him while they're sitting in their bedroom singing and I understand that he's a brilliant performer I do like listening to his albums and stuff well his greatest hits and stuff
but on that particular occasion it was forced upon me and I didn't like it I didn't like not having the options I don't necessarily want to hear it not necessarily not particularly I don't mind but you know partly more because of Vinnie I don't want him to he's chilled out now he's not bothered by anything now he's pretty much asleep but he was very highly strung earlier and when I went downstairs because I got a phone call have you got any bog roll I haven't got any spare I've literally given
her my last toilet roll I got one three quarters of one that's on the roller I was like man it's just getting silly it's getting silly I'm not it's I don't know still I kind of get together what can we ask for him what can we ask him for today what about washing up liquid what about tea bags what about money definitely money I'm sorry and that's I tell you the problem is if someone keeps asking to borrow money like downstairs they're not going to pay it back they keep asking
so I stop answering the phone I stop you know or I don't reply to texts I don't open them up so I can't see what's all been written and they might have contacted me for something serious something important and I wouldn't know and that's what concerns me it's a little bit like people screaming like outside people screaming but there's nothing going on there's no reason for them to be screaming which almost gets you desensitized to it because I live on a council estate and there's a lot of drunk people and
other things going on so sometimes there's like lots of shouting and stuff so I almost become used to it so when I do hear if one day it might be a genuine scream and I'll just ignore it as will probably most of the other people around just ignore it because they're used to hearing that stuff and someone could be genuinely sigh do I overthink things do you think?
maybe, maybe I do maybe I do but it does I was going to say earlier I kind of I remember I had a conversation with my social worker years ago it was 2016 I think so my social worker was sitting opposite the table she was here and she said talking about contributing to society and I think she said well she said well you might not be contributing to your local society but you are contributing to society with what you're doing like the online stuff because I've been doing this since 2006
and just in case I didn't mention it enough and she because she knew what I did and this is before I started doing you Let Me Bore You To Sleep recordings but it was mainly hypnosis stuff that I was doing and I had kind of got back into that as well I'm trying to do at least one hypnosis recording a day I did one today called hypnosis for election anxiety and did I do one yesterday?
I can't remember did I? I think I did one yesterday I'm pretty sure I did I just don't recall oh isn't it weird Christine if you're listening I literally just got a text message from Facebook hope the fireworks aren't too bad for Vinnie I know you're interested in AI imagine what Vin would make of it have a nice eve so I'll look at that later but he's calmed down now but yeah oh and when I got that phone call Vinnie might have thought it was someone else that he wanted to go and see I opened
the front door and Vinnie ran right out now he never does that doesn't do it he stays in especially when I say stay he stays but today he just ran out the front door and I'm thinking please don't let the main door be open because he would just run in the road there's nothing about him that would stop him especially if there's a car across the road and he ran straight trying to get out the back door so he wanted to go and see his mummy the lady that used to have him before and I was like I picked him up and another neighbour came out and she said is he ok?
he's shaking because there's fireworks going off and I was only down there and it's not like I was doing anything important like making a podcast oh I was so yeah grumpy grumpy the social worker said you might not be contributing to your local society but globally you are you're making a contribution with helping people with your hypnosis recordings it's just it's more broad rather than specific because back then I wasn't getting a huge amount of people listening to me in the UK it was very much more America I've got a
much larger audience now in America and the UK than I did back then but I've definitely got a larger audience in the UK now but I don't have to have anyone in my area listening so you know contributing to society maybe not locally and I've kind of kept that in my head and I'm like yeah I am contributing it's just it's on a more broader scale a wider scale a global scale not like a big scale just a wider scale in the sense of three people in America three people in
America listening to this and maybe one and a half people in the UK and a quarter of a person in Belgium listening and that's it you know there might be hardly anyone but it's spread four and a half in Australia it's just so altogether it makes up thousands in reality only six that made sense to me no it didn't really so yeah this has not been a Tuesday Trivia Tuesday at all has it and I had it all planned what I was going to talk about well I kind of had
it planned what the Trivia Tuesday was going to be and I was going to do a trivia on elections it was going to be like an election night special but ended up me just moaning about stuff so perhaps that would be the title me moaning about fireworks and stuff moaning about fireworks and stuff and Elton John oh man I need to sort myself out adore adore adore adore adore blimey so yeah so I want to watch the election live I do want to watch it live the problem is meee you
know what I mean that's the problem meee it's up all night I don't stay up all night anymore I can listen to it on the radio so that's probably what I'll do I'll listen to it on the radio which means I don't have to go out and well I do take him out for a W-A-N a W-A-L-K but I will at least have one more because he's already done two poos today so hopefully I won't get any more messages I hope that the person that heard that I spoke to knows
that I don't want to I don't want to keep being contacted because it gets a little bit much in the evening especially I mean I turn my phone on mute when I'm making a recording but when I'm in bed I actually want to be able to turn the phone on so that I know I've already said this but so if in a serious situation I can be contacted but when people phone me for such pointless things like well wanting I know to be fair wanting toilet roll isn't really a point
it's quite an important thing isn't it in all fairness I mean you know I think she was actually stuck on the toilet waiting and her sister answered the phone answered the door answered the what's it roll toilet roll and then she phoned me again and said I thought you were going to chuck it down the stairs I said yeah that was 10 minutes ago when I said I'm not going to stand and wait for you to come out for 10 minutes like God I'm so grumpy and I said I gave
it to your sister she said oh really so her sister didn't even tell her so I don't know what her sister did with it and it's not like these are big flats you know you can sort of know if someone else is in a flat you know they're there you can't hide playing hide and seek is I used to play hide and seek with Andre and he was a ferret and I could still find him quite easily it's not a big space so they need to communicate better about toilet roll
that's what they need to do so yeah what a funny well I found it funny at the time my friend he phoned me up once someone he lived in Nottingham he's a former friend and he phoned me up and said I was sitting in the toilet I said that's nice why are you telling me that he said I run out of toilet roll I said well I'll put it back at you but with a bit more emphasis why are you phoning me why are you calling me about that he said
can you can you call up the office and ask and tell them that I've run out of toilet roll I need some so he was in the toilet of his office yeah he owned a security firm firm so they were in the office he was down the hallway in the men's toilets so he couldn't leave the toilet and I said why don't you phone them yourself he said the battery's practically gone on my phone and I'm trying to ring them and they're not they're engaged because they're talking to customers and
other security officers so you're my last option you please just keep phoning them till you get through so I did and it was hilarious but not as funny as the people in the office so I phoned and they didn't answer a few times and then when they did answer and I told them I said your boss can you go and give your boss some toilet roll because he's stuck on the toilet and he's run out and probably the most laughter I've heard ever and I spent 20 years trying to make
it very funny because he was literally just sitting there I said oh by the way take your time he said he's not in a hurry he's doing a crossword which he wasn't I just thought I'd add a little bit and they just found it hilarious the fact that he phoned he was in the same building probably maybe 20 second walk away from the office probably less and he had his phone on him and he phoned me and he didn't phone them although he had but they just found it hilarious the
fact that he that he got me to phone them to bring the toilet roll in so it was a very funny moment that's one of my little toilet roll memories I'm trying to think memory memes toilet rolls no you know when I was at school we used to have like this toilet roll that was like tracing paper it was absolutely useless it was useless I mean it was less than useless and I guess it was the second cheapest the second cheapest thing other than air and I mean hair like other
than spending no money at all it was the second cheapest option it was ridiculous you wouldn't you had to kind of use so much just anyway I won't go into detail but yeah it was awful I didn't like going to the toilet I mean during when I got older I used to go home to go to the toilet at lunch time I did once once I was kind of once I had the keys to the house so I think I was probably 14 at that time so once I was able
to sort of come and go as I pleased that's when I used to come home at lunch time if I needed to because I did not like using the toilet tracing paper it honestly it's mind boggling that's why as I've kind of became an adult I like to treat myself to nice toilet roll just just for it to be a happy moment you know just to just to I don't know how to explain it really I mean if I could I'd wipe with a cloud you know with some angels wings that probably sounds horrible but you know I mean something nice silk,
a silk tie you know I used to have silk shirts when I was in my mid twenties went through a period when I used to wear silk shirts and they were cheap but I liked them because first of all I'd wash them by hand and they would dry really quickly and there'd be no creases in them they'd dry without creases and I liked them a lot I really did and I went through a phase when I was wearing them like in the summer because I was really slim back then I think,
I mean I don't know I probably wore medium I wouldn't have worn small but I liked things to be baggy even it's weird because I went from wanting to wear baggy clothes so as not to show off how skinny I was to wearing baggy clothes to not show off how voluptuous I was you know I kind of changed so baggy clothes for the same reason but just a bigger version of the baggy clothes yeah voluptuous that's a better word isn't it right so trivia Tuesday clearly didn't happen sorry soz I
think it's just the fireworks distracted me and some of Vinnie's behaviour not about the fireworks but just before that yeah he was very unpleasant to me all I was doing was trying to help him hey Vin Vinnie Mini Mini Vinnie Vinnie if only you knew how much I cared about him how much I used to care about him everybody knows how much I loved that little fella he's just I don't know he doesn't have maybe he's just a bit like me maybe he struggles with showing emotion I find it easier
with a dog or a ferret or a human I find it easier to sort of tell him I tell him that I love him I tell him I love him 100 times a day it would be very difficult to say that to a human even once in 10 years so it's just I don't know it's just easier maybe it's because they don't talk maybe because they can't say it back but the fact that they can't say it back is not bad not too bad because when someone can say it back
and they don't say it back that's quite difficult I think and also just because someone says it doesn't mean they mean it he doesn't say it because he can't say it so therefore I don't know if he'd mean it or not none of this makes any kind of real sense so yeah oh I was going to look and see what other hypnosis recordings I did there we go oh dear I tell you what some of the stuff I see on Facebook is just it boggles my mind that's all I can
say so today I did hypnosis for election anxiety and oh okay three days ago I thought I did a recording yesterday I thought I did a hypnosis recording yesterday clearly I didn't so overcoming fear that was two days ago and I did a body scan four days ago so yeah so I've done a few hypnosis recordings I did yeah I did another one 26th of October and I did another one 25th of October caring for others and then I did ee ee ee ee ee ee ee ee ee I did
right healing Thursday so that's kind of I mean yeah so I'm trying to do two recordings a day a hypnosis recording and a Let Me Bore You To Sleep recording because I feel that in a way I've moved away in a way I've moved away way way away from the the original reason I was doing this to start with the not because I wasn't it was about helping people with hypnosis that was what it was about I wanted to focus more on chronic pain relief but I did start out doing
a sleep recording and a relaxation recording hypnosis recording and those two were always the most favourite ones the sleep being more popular than the relaxation ones and then it kind of turned out really that the relaxation and sleep ones were kind of almost the same really wasn't a lot of difference between them and then I kind of moved into a bit more just talking a bit more just being me and you know it led to doing these seven years ago or how many years ago is it now 2018 19, 20,
21, 22, 23, 24 so it's over three years ago so it was yeah so 2018 I think February or March and maybe I've got a little bit too focused on these but I do enjoy doing these I do enjoy just chatting about nothing whether I'm just moaning about something or I'm making fun of something or you know doing sleepy boring objects you know it's whatever just talking but at the same time there's the hypnosis stuff and that takes a bit more work takes a bit more focus takes and it is
also trying to do something that might actually be useful recording something that may be required you know might be something that is needed so I'm going to go thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy lots of love bye
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.