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Hello, hello and make sure this is about welcome. Push this back a little bit. Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep.
My name is Jason Newland and please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Today is Monday the 10th of August 2026. Yeah, I've decided to cover myself up.
I've decided to do a TikTok live. As I record this podcast, just because I don't know. I haven't done one for a while.
Yeah, that's it really. There's no major reason for it to be honest. So I thought I'd do that.
Hopefully it can it sounds okay. I don't know. I don't know.
Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn't. I'm not sure.
It's hot. It's really hot. So I thought I'd just talk to the audience.
If there's an audience listening, or watching, if you've got something to say, I can talk to you. Not actually live, but I can talk to you if you post a message. As long as it's nothing rude.
You know what I mean? You get me? Not much going on. I kind of want to go back to bed a little bit. Maybe it's the heat.
Maybe it's What was that? Was that an ambulance or a police car? In the background. I can't tell the difference between police and ambulance sirens. And I should be able to, but for some reason I can't.
Unless it's a house alarm or a fire engine. It's not an ice cream truck. That's for sure.
Oh, now it's going. I had a conversation. Did I say only listen when you can safely close your eyes? I had a conversation with Vinnie earlier.
Because he keeps barking at dogs. New dogs that he sees. And he's already lost three of his friends.
And he's got another two that he's going to lose because they're moving away from the area. So basically he needs to start making new friends with new dogs. Or he has to.
He doesn't like the big dogs. So he needs to start making friends with the big dogs. By the way, Vinnie is my little Jack Russell dog.
My little. There's some weird sounds outside. Weird, weird sounds.
By the way, if you can see on the camera, there's a black thing. That's the microphone. So this is being recorded on the iPad.
I hope you can hear me okay on TikTok. A hoop. You can find all my recordings on my website, jasonnewland.com.
Manho says, thank you for ordering our pink 18 inch realistic horse, Willie. Yeah, no worries. Thank you.
I hope. I'm looking forward to it being delivered. Thank you very much.
It's. I wasn't sure whether to go with 18 inch or maybe try something. You know, I wasn't sure which to go with first.
You know, I mean, Roger says. Bro, you cannot ghost me after getting my dog pregnant. We need to talk now.
I didn't ghost you. I've just been hiding. I'm going to wait and see.
I don't believe it's me. I don't believe I'm the father. Wait until the babies are born, then we'll see.
Okay. Tell the pups are born. So apparently I'm going to get my 18 inch in three to five business days.
Roger said I'm being rude. I don't think it's rude. I think it's normal now to have paternity tests.
Is it paternity or maternity? I don't know. But, you know, as far as like, oh, you do like your dog came on to me. Okay.
What the hell's going on? So, yeah, I actually did a paternity or a DNA test once years ago. And it cost me about 300 pounds. I'm there having it and I'm just like, you know, getting a swab and everything.
And the woman's like, I gave her the money. It turns out, firstly, that the test only cost 150. And secondly, I've never actually slept with her.
I was like, what am I doing? What am I doing? Oh, no. Manho's now making out that I'm ghosting you since your dog got pregnant. No, you can't blame me for all the dogs that get pregnant.
Get Rizzle with the Fizzy Wizzle Fizzy 124 says, please, can you sing a bit of Rocket Man? Rocket Man, if you're going to be out in town, well, I guess it's going to be a long, long time. See, I do requests. Man, attention host is using an interactive, the body part plug.
It increases the volume. Do you know what? I'm not. Because how would I be sitting down? If I was doing that, I'd be like talking in and welcome.
Could be like that, wouldn't I? No, I'm not. I'm waiting till after I've finished the recording. So there.
Please give a shout out to Paul and Ewan. Hi, Paul and Ewan. Hello.
I saw this vibrating thing on QVC this morning, and it was like vibrating your face. And they said at one point that all of their vibrating products are always bestsellers. Hmm.
Hmm. I don't know if all of those home shopping products are used for what they're supposed to be used for. I don't know.
I'm not sure. So technically. I'll ask me some questions.
Go on, talk to me, people. Stop message me. Ask me how many fingers fit.
Okay. Well, why don't I ask you a question? I already know the answer to. That wouldn't make sense.
Come on, you can do better than that. I'm getting sick of it, says Mannheim. Yeah.
I did send a message to someone on TikTok yesterday, because I thought it was this. There's this woman that is really popular on Instagram. And I saw a picture of her on TikTok, and she had about 200 followers.
Yeah, she's got 2 million on Instagram. And I thought, this is a fake account. So I contacted and I said, is this a fake account? Because I know how to woo a lady.
And she said, or she or he, whoever was behind the screen, tapping away, said, if I was a spammer or scammer, I'd be asking you for your details and your bank account, wouldn't I? I said, fair enough. And then we're chatting a little bit. And then she said, oh, I got to go now because I got a call off my dinner.
And I said, well, can you please send a picture of you holding your dinner? I didn't hear anything. And then I got a message saying, that's a very weird request. Yeah, oh well.
Wishfulmate Hamdan. So yeah, have a great day, mate. El Ousmane.
Yeah, have a great day. Great birthday. Happy birthday.
Decline. You slurp and burp. Is that you? What? From high school? No, don't know what you're talking about there.
You lost me there. Sorry. High school.
I can't even spell high school. It's been a long time since I was at high school. Well, anyone else want to say anything? Because there's two people.
I've got two fans. I remember that straight teeth you gave me behind. What? See, I don't understand the language you're speaking because it's all, is that street language? I remember the straight teeth you gave me.
What does that mean? Straight teeth. I'm out of date. I just like do normal talking.
It's very, very old fashioned. Got the old fashioned like, oh, hello. How are you? I'm well, thanks.
That's lovely. Oh, what a hot day it is. Yes, it is.
I wonder if it will be this hot tomorrow. I don't know. Wasn't so hot yesterday, was it? No, it wasn't.
See, that's the kind of conversations I have. So anyway, for my podcast listeners. Sorry about this.
I've got people in the garden chatting. Loudly. That's all I hear.
Either that or the dog barking. There's also, I think some bushes being trimmed. That's not a euphemism.
I've got a councillor out trimming the bushes. Because when they start, they just seem to do it all day long. They could even say it's their job.
So I suppose they would be doing it all day long, wouldn't they? Here's a question. How can I make money from TikTok? Try to say something. How's your midday going? Are you on your lunch? Okay.
How's your midday going? How is your lunch? See, I'm getting help from the TikTok AI. Hello, how are you? Are you well? See, it's just learning how to speak fluently, how to speak confidently. And you know, it's speak in front of a camera.
It is a different ballgame altogether. You know, I've been doing it 20 years, but hey, it's fine. I wonder how to speak.
When I first started speaking, making videos in 2006, I didn't speak well. I didn't know what to say. Wow.
I've got a flash goal. You slop and gawk that you. I don't know what that means.
I've got a flash goal. Let's view it. What's my flash goal? Three gifters send rose to your live in 15 minutes.
Achieve this optional goal to win a 24-hour live goal theme your current live goal will resume when the flash goal ends okay so I'm gonna pin the flash goal onto the screen okay I can't see myself though how come I can't see myself oh I can now so my flash goal is pinned three gifters to send a rose I've only got one person in the actual room how do you send a rose by the way more people will be listening to this on the podcast then are watching it live okay
man host got another one thank you for ordering our pink sinks six-inch realistic zebra I do find interesting that everyone you send you actually have an order number I mean that's information that's not really needed considering it's kind of a joke that you're doing why why go to the trouble of actually adding an order number can you hear that I can just hear blah blah blah yeah I'm of now I'm not run out of payments no no no no no no I says it's because I'm shipping it to you a
do it's your 184th order Wow I wouldn't be able to sit down or walk would I if I'd had been using 184 of the kind of things that you sell no but why is zebra though okay I got a question for someone new why is your BAP out I've never seen this type of top okay so it's not supposed to be out my BAP muscles muscles kind of basically it's so hot I've ripped open my shirt see because it's too hot I'm trying to cover myself up sorry and I got
another shirt I could put on but it's really hot in here you know it's I don't know it's like 35 32 degrees or something leave it out like it is no not now you made me feel very very self-conscious I don't think we're supposed to show nip nips on the on the tick-tock I know women are allowed but don't have men are or not it seems very sexist I think men and women should be treated equally so I think that if men are allowed to be topless women should be topless
as well not should be but should be allowed to be because it's just fair can you hear that in the garden so I can hear it really clearly now so loud I mean for a week I said yeah and I said I've seen bulges yeah I've got muscles I actually I've got a picture of my back and I put it on to AI chat GPT and said how do I look from my back if I can read it here don't want to read it here it wasn't it wasn't all good
I'll be honest all right come on let's we do in age based on a photo so I put yeah I didn't image no go away don't want that I don't want to talk to you so I'll put a picture of my back based on the photo back I guess mid mid to late 50s brilliant thank you brilliant but that's just because it's not so much well I am I'm 55 so but then it says for 55 your backs actually look fairly solid a few things stand out shoulders you have broad
shoulders which naturally gives you a stronger frame upper body upper back there's visible muscles around the trapezius between the neck and shoulders it's not highly defined but it's there well thank you mid back you have a decent amount of muscle although it's mostly hidden by a layer of body fat Wow can you believe that me body fat so you don't need much definition overall build I describe you as a stocky and reasonably muscular rather than a slim or athletic look if you were to lose 15 to 20 kilos I think
you'd be surprised how much muscular you would become or you would see visibly from the photo looks like there's a good amount of muscle underneath particularly across the shoulders and upper back I mean it says that if I was to give an overall impression just from this photo I'd say strong broad stocky rather than overweight and unfit but if you saw me from the front you probably just put overweight and unfit needs a bra why aren't there bras for men I'm wondering Vinnie what are you doing I can't really moan
at Vinnie for making noise when there's so much noise outside I don't why people talk so loud though you know I mean why why so loud why not just human level I'm not I used to think it's maybe that they would like maybe harder hearing so they were talking very loud not realizing they were talking loud but I've realized that it must be their eyesight the reason I talking loud is to think that the other person's further away than they are they must think that the other side of the garden
or the other side of the estate the other side of the country that's why they're talking so loudly and shouting so it's not really their fault you know I mean I was just thinking about an ex-girlfriend earlier I remember she was she called me I was watching EastEnders she called me into the bathroom she was in a bath she said can you wash my back please and I said I can't she said oh because you want to watch EastEnders because you put you put television before me because you want to
just watch... and I said no it's not that she said what is it then I said we've run out of shampoo that relationship didn't last long for some reason she had a hairy back that's the joke so how are you my friend how are you I don't know what to do it's weird because when I started doing this recording it's pretty quiet it was a little bit of sound outside but now it's a full-on shout-a-thon I really have to kind of control myself from shouting out of the window which is
what I would have done you know a few years back it's a it's a real test of self-control I'm ever so pleased with myself yes so on a Monday I would normally do a I would normally do some kind of like a Monday's boring objects but today being a bit of a weird day I don't know just weird and kind of how I'm feeling it's not it's not a normal day it's just I'm not really in the mood to do much maybe it's the heat maybe it's the noise maybe it's
the fact that I want to drink tango that's what I want tango oh I don't know oh I did myself on tinder don't ask why you can ask why but I did and it was well I just yeah I mean there's someone that did like my profile and I went to see who it was and tinder demanded money money like what do you want money for because we're a business why can't you just give it all away free like I do I actually had someone ask me for money a couple
of people actually recently one asked me for money to send her a picture of herself and I said can't you send me a picture anyway she said no I want some money money and this is someone that listens to my recordings like but I call my videos where I do everything I do for free you know so get your camera out take you to do that but yeah it's just a bit weird and I had another person ask me for money couple of months ago it's like well I ain't got
nothing I know saying like I really enjoy your stuff and a big fan but that doesn't make money appear into my bank I don't have any money I spend two two hundred to three hundred pound a month running my free service money that I do not have to spend on that so yeah it is when I do have money because there's been times in the past when I've had a bit of cash I am generous I'm not saying that to big myself up I kind of am a little bit yeah
I am I'm mentioning that because I want to come across as being really amazing but I'm not no but genuinely like I'll help people I think there might be three people out in the garden now and there's the hedge trimmer trimming their hedge can't hear any ambulances or police so who's online who wants to say hello to me who wants to say apart from anyone that's sort of talking about selling me pleasurable toys which I didn't buy not really never bought anything like that I nearly did once it was my
girlfriend's well at the time I had a girlfriend hard to believe but I did used to have a girlfriend and I went into this shop which is round the corner from me and it was like in a side road so I felt a bit more comfortable going in there and it was an adult shop so I said I want to get something for my girlfriend it's her birthday and stuff and he said okay so I'm you know I don't know but I'm so I'm thinking maybe maybe a toy at you
he said what you mean like Monopoly a Lego I thought yeah maybe dad bod thank you Lydia that's obviously a bad thing I guess I'm not a dad though but I am dad ish so fine even though I know you make fun of me I don't mind say nice things and I'll just I'll accept nice things I'll accept even if it's sarcastic I'll just accept it yes oh yeah so I was in this adult shop dad bod means you have muscles what do you mean as he tries to tense his
muscles as you say that well thank you I thought dad bod meant fat and old so I but yeah I've got I do alright I take after my dad I'm not skinny but I'm strong so how I been yeah I've been alright how about you Lydia how you been I haven't been on here for quite a while well I'm on every day so I do post my videos on here and I'm still making my recordings my podcasts and stuff but haven't done a live broadcast because I used to find a
little bit difficult with some of the some of the comments let's say that I used to get occasionally I mean today it's been fine because it's been funny the comments I've got up in funny so even I haven't been able to really read them out because of my podcasts I'm recording that now but they have been funny funny podcast funny messages yes I was in his adult shop intending to buy a present for my then girlfriend and I thought maybe because I'd heard like toys I've got quite a few female
friends and they told me how good these toys are you know Lego and stuff of course and fire engines and things like that so I said okay and I was looking I picked up this thing called a rabbit and it didn't look like a rabbit well it kind of did a little bit but and the bloke behind the counter said no it was like turning to slow motion as he just ran up and grabbed out of my hand I said no I said what are you doing he said no if
you give her that for her birthday and she uses it she would no longer have any need for you I was like what she said you can't compete with a rabbit which is a sentence I honestly didn't think I'd ever hear you can't compete with a rabbit so I didn't do it anyway I didn't because I I believed what I was told so I kind of didn't get that thing yeah I mean I just I like I was curious what if they make rabbits for men men are allowed to have
pleasure too aren't they and then my it all goes to zero as soon as I say that on the tick-tock it goes from one to zero I think once when I was on it I got up to about 30 viewers but I think like so many other things you need to be consistent and putting on a time that you're gonna be on and also I'm not gonna be like anyone else I mean everyone's different but I'm just chatting probably kind of boring it's not gonna be exciting stuff you know just
making my podcast it's supposed to be relaxing it's supposed to be gentle but you were talking about vibrators no shush it's supposed to be gentle and it's not kind of all full of energy I mean it's been a long time since I've been full of energy although there was that one time where I felt a bit sluggish and I let off I didn't realize I had trapped gas so basically I let off the biggest fart biggest loudest fart of my life and I suddenly felt so much more energetic in fact
I was practically running around the supermarket with that trolley getting all my shopping so yeah it's sometimes you just need to let it out don't you it's blockages isn't it it could be a mental block it could be an emotional block or it could be wind could be wind I actually remember my friend he's not around anymore but he came up here and he was lying on the floor in agony seriously called for an ambulance they wouldn't come believe it or not because it was the wrong side of his belly
button so is it above or is it below his belly button and I don't know what his answer was I should hold on to that so I could remember for future but I didn't and they said well no not coming I'm not sending an ambulance for that you'll have to make his way to the either go to the doctors or make his way to the to the hospital or make his way to the whatever some health place and I didn't understand a bit gas there excuse me I'm gonna have gas
with Tango and I you can't insist I drink a fizzy drink and then not do a burp oh you didn't know you didn't insist did you now I don't drink fizzy drinks anymore I definitely don't drink coke apart from when I do which is probably three times a year I just realized I haven't put my phone on do not disturb I wonder if I can or not I don't know so could ring I don't know who would ring me though although I am waiting to find about my kitchen find out
when they're gonna do that hmm my back actually looks fairly so even even chat GPT is surprised that my back looks muscular and solid and it's annoying isn't it when you think about it we use our backs all the time if you if we're walking around it's just like when you do weights you're always using your arms pretty much for every every weight training thing your arms are being used and I guess in a sense so your legs as soon as you're back so you might be focusing on for example
your chest be using your back using your arms you you know all the different parts of the body quite often are being used at the same time as if you're focused on just one part of your body apparently I've woken up today and I'm an expert on weight training I didn't know did not know AI summary says a casual chat about daily life fitness and funny stories I'm wondering if the what's it people the the trimmers are gonna head this way into my garden area Grace Moo hi Grace Moo Gemma
hi Gemma how you all doing how you doing is it okay yeah yep so hi hi Grace hi Dusty Dusty that's quite an unusual name isn't it I know you got Dusty Springfield but I've never known a Grace never known a Dusty I don't think yeah I don't think I have no I don't think Stu hi Stu hi everybody why don't you say hello come and say hello by the way if anyone is listening I post videos every day on to tik-tok and you get at least an just under an
hour of one of my videos which is my podcast so if it's a 30-minute recording and get the whole thing if it's an hour and a half recording and you get just under an hour but I do that every day although I haven't done one today I need to upload one today I'm a fair bit behind on the latest ones because I upload the latest ones to YouTube by the way my website's Jason Newland com I upload the latest recordings to YouTube and the podcasts and also to Apple Spotify you
know all the different ones as well as my website Jason Newland dot-com Amol hello Amol Amol sorry Amol anyone want to give me some hearts come on please give me some hearts tap that screen well I'll tap it and I'm gonna love up Mick hi Mick itchy eye I itched my eye the other day and because it was so sweaty I guess I must have kind of had a fair bit of salt in my skin or whatever because it's been so hot and I wiped my eye and honestly my eye
started shouting at me what the hell have you done man I can't see properly is that what he's trying to just pour some salt in there what you doing get some vinegar while you're at it mmm had a right go at me I'm just it's cuz you know at the moment on a day like this it's just permanent permanent heat heat heat heat and it's a different kind of heat somewhere like Thailand or Spain even it's just different it's a different heat oh someone's I think someone shared my thing any
any any any tap taps good tap taps fly with saps shared the live thank you fly with saps it's very kind of you anyone else want to share this so I can get two viewers to so how many people have I got follow me I think 177 so I don't have a lot of people following me on here so maybe follow me maybe follow me it'd be wonderful it will be yes it will be be be be be be be so diddler hi Hicks five three five hi fly with saps
did let not did did dear sorry my eyesight ain't great did did I see if an L or an I think it's an I er now I have a lazy left eye it's not so much as it's pointed the different way it's I can't read with my left eye because if I do the words move around oh itchy so when I read I sometimes like it even with both eyes I have to sometimes read it twice to make sure I'm getting all the words or the letters rather not the words
but the letters so with my hi tin man big P hi big P with my left eye if I just read on my left eye I literally can't so it says encourage more viewers to share my right eye I can see it but it's a little bit blurry both eyes I can see it but I can't have to kind of focus with my left eye in honestly if I didn't know what it said I wouldn't be able to read it no so soon I get from I go to E and
I'm seeing a D so the beginning of the encourage I'm seeing a D for some reason and as I go through ooh and I want to get to the E the more moves into the encourage so the letter more moves and mixes with the encourage so it's very difficult and then I go back to and then when I focused on the more itself so I get to the end of encourage to the E the more moves in then when I just focus on more itself it's PRE it's very strange and
then when I get to viewers the more mixes with viewers so it's not even a word anymore then I then I move along to to share mixes together as well so my left eye I can't read with my left eye and I just only just find this found this out so I've got a question sorry I don't want to ignore your questions is that a custom shirt from Josh it's not what I've done right is I don't know if you if you're in the UK but if you are you know
what I mean about the heat it's been really much hotter than normal and during the first heatwave I had these shirts but they were kind of down to about there you know and it was just too hot I mean it's okay being topless and being naked or ever indoors but if I go answer the door for a delivery or if I've got a guest or if I need to take Vinnie my dog into the garden I I have to kind of put something on so I did is I cut them
out I cut out the arms hello to I don't know what your name is but there's a love heart a black love comment commas inna commas inna hello commas inna and so I cut I cut out the sleeves or the show you know to make it up to the shoulders area so I cut out that bit I've got a bit carried away with this because I thought if I just did a rip up there then I let my little bit of air in that bit but I did too much I
just needed to maybe just make a few cuts along just to let a bit of air in maybe a few you know so got a little bit carried away and I did this for about four of my shirts or four of my t-shirts so it got to the point where I can't really go out in this and this is nowhere around I can't go out of the house in public because look at it yeah it's like it's not really yeah Jay says can you say woom woom woom is that backwards
what meow is that what you want me to do what's your barber's name I feel we had this conversation in the past Leo are you the same person that a few months ago said what is your what does your barber do for a job what does your barber do to earn money I think I had that comment look I do have a hair see if you get to the age if you get to the point where your hair is kind of going a bit okay I'm using the word a bit
generously you kind of don't want to lose it so I've got hair at the side and I've got hair at the back I do have a bald patch on top but I do have hair it's just it's all gradually moving up over the last like 20 or 30 years so I don't have a barber basically I normally just shave my head bald or shave it like really short but for some reason this time oops this time I have tried to kind of just start a little bit myself I'm my own
barber and it's a little bit messy it was tidier yesterday there's a little bit messy so yeah so let's say well I've missed a few loving a shirt big P thank you Leo do you have any children no I don't have any children I don't have well as far as I know I don't I say that because that's you know it's like an old joke as far as I know I don't have any kids like I'm some kind of gigolo or was a gigolo not that but there was I got
a feeling about one person that maybe we kind of lost contact and I don't know whether or not I just have a feeling but it's a long time ago so no as far as I know I don't have any kids I had two what's it's God God children God daughters who I loved like my own kids so I haven't seen them for a while can you say F O O W backwards you want me to say woof why don't you just say say woof don't make me try and figure out
what foo is backwards especially if I do it my left eye because it looks like you want me to say slow backwards well it sounds like you want me to say slow ween woong because that's what I can see with my left eye Leo okay here we go we're going weird now how many kids are downstairs eating for their rounds there's no kids downstairs there's no kids in this building so no sorry King can you bark for me all right you've had enough animal noises and you know what when I
woke up this morning I didn't expect to say that sentence out loud you've had enough animal noises didn't expect it wasn't didn't foresee that happening nope I couldn't have planned that I'd be sitting here making sounds of cats and dogs I was planning to do a pig at some point but that was just gonna be me for my own personal pleasure oink oink see thing is pigs don't really sound like that do they oink oink but I still love the sound oink oink oink oink oink oink I got in trouble
a few times shouting that out in the streets oink oink when I was a kid oink oink oink oh the gang of naughty people have left now so I'm getting no more questions they've moved on to the next page I feel like I've let them down I really feel I kind of could have done more for my relationship with them by making more sounds I should have gone along with it maybe we'd got to a horse maybe to I don't know an elephant a meerkat in fact it could have been
the start of a whole new my whole new journey on a new pathway in my life but I messed up didn't I I said no do you remember that movie with Jim Carrey called yes and he decided just to say yes to everything and his whole life changed I clearly didn't learn from that message today because if I'd have said yes to every single animal request I could be looking towards a new future a new way of being a different way of seeing the world oh dear what on earth what
on earth's going on I've got one new message why is it just I don't know secret life high secret life according to this I've got no one on here well the voices have stopped again another sentence I didn't expect to say out loud dude before I mean outside in the garden I mean the ones behind yeah over there con-convenator con-con-covenator okay hi there's two people listening but only one person is listed I'm confused so confused this is 1154 am and I can't take him out for hours we can't go out
in that heat I feel stuck inside now don't just mean because of the swamp of sweat in my underpants that's horrible why would anyone say that I'm stuck to the chair I'm not stuck to the chair why would I say that but it's very hot out there hi Millie I like the name Millie don't know why Millie Millie my name is Millie what's your name I'm Millie Eve hi Eve I like Eve my name's Eve what's your name Millie I'm Leo hi Leo I'm Eve this is fun I hope more
people join so I can just add their names to the to the conversation I know some of the people going through they're still swiping then they'll come back let's check out how that groovy fella is doing oh the groovy man with a groovy t-shirt with the kind of strange glasses and full head of hair that looks like he's balding just because of the way the is positioned thank you very much so apparently my okay if I unplug I'm gonna unplug my phone because overheating Andrea hi Andrea or Andreas I don't
know if it's Andrea Snikifora or Andreas Nikifora so hello to both of you well obviously there's only one of you isn't it but if there was both yeah to you hello hello hello wherever you are I hope you enjoy visiting maybe go home I'm in a car oh that reminds me I did this sales job in 1990 right and there was an advert thing going around and people get leaflets through the door and basically it was I'm not gonna say a con but people would be told if you come along
and listen to our presentation for timeshare apartments in Spain not you haven't got to go to Spain but the timeshares were in Spain if you come along you haven't got to sign up for anything just turn up and listen to the to the watch the video and stuff and then you'll be leaving with a gift and there was a picture of a car everybody I mean everybody did leave with a gift but not everybody left with a car and one bloke came I think with his family from the other side
of the country and was moaning but I thought we were getting a car they said you know the people in charge said no it's yeah you know it's this different different gifts a car is one of them but it's a different gift and different different things you do get a chance to win a car and he said but I came all the way up here on a train expecting to drive back in the new car and the person in charge started laughing and the man didn't find it humorous humorous Diane
hi Diane secret spam hi con con covenetta so you've been earlier so hi hate said hello hello hello hi whoo if you like you can tap the screen to say hi send me some love handles or what they call them oh my life will end in five minutes if I don't prove that I'm a real person I mean come on if I was AI I wouldn't make myself look like this would I can you imagine that's the thing about AI you'll be able to tell which is AI and which isn't
because you've got someone like me on AI or like not on a bit on the internet making videos or whatever it's not gonna be AI is it you know he's AI is gonna be pretty much flawless when I say flawless I don't mean like no floor but I mean flawless as in like appearance this is no floor you're gonna see me would you so be downstairs why do you so you so would you because it can would also be downstairs hmm how would I live up here if there was no
floor if you notice you know delivery trucks or delivery the like supermarket delivery vans they've got that as they back when they go backwards it sounds like a bird doesn't it some birds sound like that I'm not sure what the birds are doing when they make that sound I don't know that's what those delivery vans trucks whatever you want to call them sound like when they go backwards the words reverse isn't it it's still the same meaning going backwards reverse reverse is easier to say because it's just one word but
going backwards it still still works doesn't it and after all reverse means going backwards I would argue that going backwards was probably in use before the word reverse and that's why I have no one watching me live because I come out with stuff like that this isn't what we thought it'd be we didn't expect this we thought it'd be a little bit more interesting can you at least talk about trains or maybe caterpillars something more interesting something to get our teeth into maybe shoes different shoes you've had over the years
you could talk about that that'd be interesting so hello hello there's hello you is your 17 Dianne Oh I remember when Michael Jackson came to London in 1986 1988 89 and his bad album came out in 87 and there's big foo-foo who are worrying whether or not Michael Jackson would be singing dirty Diana because at one of the concerts fit the first one princess Diana was gonna be there watching so apparently Michael Jackson contacted her and he said and she said yes it is that's how she spoke in private like
yes dirty Diana you alright she was very common in private but Michael Jackson said I was wondering would I be able to sing dirty Diana when you come along to the song come along to the song come along to the concert can I sing dirty Diana is it okay and dirty Diana said um princess Diana said yes all right I don't mind it'll be lovely lovely and so yeah she didn't have any issue with it she was a fan of Michael Jackson yeah it's not a hugely interesting story to be
fair but it is something that really happened apparently dirty Diana oh yeah I'm thinking ice cream Mars bar that's what I'm thinking I'm thinking that's might that might be what's needed what's required what's very much you know I mean oh yeah hmm I don't know hussy hi hussy now I realize some people were here even though it says none there are some people here because the doesn't always update it like properly update it you know on the screen hmm if there is anyone let me know you're here because it says
zero can you tap the screen just to let me know there is someone actually listening right now or watching right now then I'll know I just got his theory AI says a casual chat about random stories like Michael Jackson share your story so no one's been tapping a screen so maybe there isn't anyone watching go on treat yourself tap the screen give yourself a gift the gift of sharing the gift of kindness the gift of love be Brandon Brendan hi I got a random question this is account underscore seven six
eight do you know how to wiggle your ears yeah it's easy yeah just grab them and you wiggle them easy easy peasy if you notice my ears now are also moving yeah basically just move your face around the ears move but thanks for that I like to participate I like to I like to feel that I'm in some way helping the universe and if wiggling my ears gives you what you need for the day then my job is done I feel very I suppose I feel honored just to have the
opportunity to wiggle my ears for someone this it's a feeling I can't really context put to context verbally because it's such has such a deep meaning that I was able to wiggle my ears and please someone and I just thank you for the opportunity that's all Brandon's joined again Chino or is it Chino is it Chino Chino Chino I've got more noise in the garden again lovely one full by the way if you want to hear the full recording just go to my website or it's not available right now but
later on if you just search Jason Newland comm Let Me Bore You To Sleep podcast and this will be on there or you can search on Apple podcasts Spotify just change just search for Jason Newland Let Me Bore You To Sleep or if you go to the website Jason Newland comm and that will give you the list of websites and a put the podcast rather that you can find stuff I'm all over the place not just emotionally but also literally literally literally literally literally literally literally well I think it should
be a literally literally no maybe not literally I was on tick-tock and I'm sure I just you know when you when you just swiping because there's just a bunch of okay I just I was swiping forget why and I'm pretty sure because I got so used to just swiping I saw someone that I know as I but I couldn't get back I can't even find the ones because they were like 26 pound a week to be on that app 26 pound a week that's a lot that's a lot of money
26 that's like grand it's one thousand two hundred fifty a year or something like that what the heck imagine an app costing you over a thousand pound a year of course if you do it monthly it works out cheaper blah blah blah but I think you still pay I think I don't know if they take the whole year all at once because you can't choose if you don't pay up you don't you know sign up for the paid what's it you can't choose the age group they just put you in
with the same age group that you are so which is great if you know that's brilliant it might be brilliant it might not be it depends what your what your thing is what your interest is I remember years ago actually there was this female that I was friends with and she used to be quite flirty with me and I used to see her fairly regularly and I thought oh maybe maybe go out with her or ask her out anyway and saw on tik-tok contacted her and she said no thanks no
but I I didn't tell her I saw her on tik-tok I contacted her so she basically said I'm just looking for one night events and don't really care who it is and I phoned her because I was friends with her and I said do you fancy going out now you're alright no thanks so I basically got rejected by someone that was desperate to hook up but not that desperate I was like sure I had one girlfriend no I had a friend once say to me oh Jason and I was in
love with her right she was a friend I was in love with her this was a long time ago and I ended up being in the friendzone which wasn't where I wanted to be I remember her putting her hand on my shoulder and saying oh Jason I wish I could meet a nice man like you I'm right here or any woman any woman would be lucky to have you in their life as their boyfriend or husband yeah I just cried I think I just cried I sobbed for at least 33
seconds then I stopped then I went for a run I didn't I know why would I say then I went for a run what is the point in saying that just lying for the sake of it what's the point in lying it never was worthwhile so pack up your troubles in your old kit bag and smile smile smile what's the use in worrying okay not worrying but what's the use in lying it never was worthwhile some people just like lying don't they I make stuff up when I make a recording
but not in real life what's the point especially if you've got to keep the lie up keep the pretense up so what's the point in what's what is maybe I don't know I mean I guess I probably exaggerate more than I need to but when I was in my 20s I used to go at my friends and we'd make up jobs that we had because you know the job I had was so ridiculously bad they would make stuff up but it was it was always a joke so you know just
I'm a steeple steeple Walker or I I drive what do they call them hovercrafts and hovercrafts weren't even around anymore you know I'd say something silly like that I'm a doctor I knew I wasn't a doctor no doctor dressed the way I did by that I mean no doctor would be in a nightclub wearing a white jacket oh dear that's not true but it's kind of funny the idea that someone would be in a nightclub we're dressed as an actual doctor pretended to be a doctor so that he could impress
someone in a nightclub that sounds like a bit of a strange scenario but anyway I'm gonna go I want to see whether or not this will allow me to download the video I've done on here so thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy be gentle with yourself you deserve to feel safe lots of love bye how about turn this thing off end live bye
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.