(Long Voice Only) Radioactive Kermit Shoes | #1625 Let Me Bore You To Sleep

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name's Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Hello.

Hi. Please only listen when you can. Safely close your eyes.

It's very rainy windy outside today and I don't know why I said outside but you know it's outside. I don't know if you can hear it. I can hear it.

I do have the window open just a little tiny little bit but the benefit of this is there's not much barking outside. I don't know if you can hear that not a lot of dogging activity but the other side of the coin is I can't take Vinnie out. I mean I can but I would get soaking wet and he's already been out a few hours ago so it's now thundering so this is a warning I guess really if you if you don't like thunder then maybe turn this recording off because that's the first bit of thunder we've had now I don't know if it's going to continue being thundery or not.

No idea. It might be a massive thunderstorm which personally I could go to sleep through. I love thunder but it's not everyone's you know it's not everyone's soup of coffee soup of coffee that's not even a thing is it.

I was trying to say some kind of bowl of soup that's it. I do sometimes wonder whether or not my words are getting a bit muddled. But then I do spend a lot of time on my own like when my friend Luke was around I would see him pretty much every day so I do a lot of talking and you know generally neighbours but I don't really have much in the way of neighbours that I don't talk to.

Anymore although it talked to me so I don't apart from like the dog walkers and that. So the only time I really do any kind of actual talky talky is when I make a podcast which admittedly is usually at the moment like twice a day at least. So I'm talking for a couple of hours a day probably roughly.

I do talk to Vinny as well but that's a little bit one way. So maybe that's what it is. I do wonder because you know in the past like I'm talking about 2013 I was working in a call centre and so I was talking all day because I was doing insurance sales and then I was coming home and making recordings.

Now I don't know if I was well and you know everything whatever how that would work now because yeah I think the last thing I'd want to do is talk after talking all day. Plus I mean the medication I'm on causes drowsiness and when I was in the call centres yeah I was on antidepressants a couple of times but that was about it and that was only for yeah it was yeah for a short time yeah it was not a long period of time when I was doing sales.

August to June no at least wow I have lost track haven't I nothing's April till about August yeah I think it was April to about August and that's when I think September is when I stopped working in 2013 no it'd be 2014 wouldn't it so I lose honestly there's certain aspects of my life that I've got really kind of quite a good memory for generally but I do have to zoom into it like I can roughly remember some of the jobs, some of the places I've lived, some of the girlfriends I've had, some of the different things I've done you know like fitness things and stuff like that but that period between 2000 once I left university that period between there and coming here so between 2011 2012 2013 2014 so I've got a fairly good memory about 2011 2012 I know where I was living and I know what I was doing and it was December that I started working in a call center selling insurance and in 2013 I think by the April I had stopped doing counselling yeah because I wasn't well at that point I was becoming ill so I think I think it's around that time and then there was that period in 2014 where I was unwell and that year was a little bit a little bit blurry actually maybe it's because I was on new medication and I was just getting used to it perhaps it was because I was trying to recover from the you know how I'd been feeling it was almost like starting again in a way spent a lot of time on my own went to the park once a day generally fed the squirrels and I was eating tea cakes every day and cans of coke so I'd have a tea cake like two tea cakes and a can of coke whilst watching I think it was either George and Mildred or oh what's the other one Terry and June which would be on about three o'clock or 2.

30 3. 30 in the afternoon that was my routine and the rest of the time I'd be working on my laptop probably working on a website or something whilst having I was watching uh it wasn't MTV but it was one of those kind of channels that just showed videos over and all over again so I was hearing a lot of the the latest music and I think that's the period when I actually became quite updated with the music for the first time in ages was okay not necessarily hmm now actually I did used to have a routine on a Sunday this is before so this is like 2013 I just remember doing this where I would lay down on the on the floor or lay down on the bed and listen to the top 40 charts on the radio and it was on a Sunday night between four and seven I do believe it was on Capitol or was it on radio one something something like that and yeah wow so I can't remember that 2013 2000 I probably did that in 2012 as well so maybe I was doing that for years I just can't remember probably yeah or maybe I did it like for years just trying to keep up to date with the music because during the 2000s I really got out of date with music not the first part of the 2000s but the second part so up to about 2005 I was kind of yeah I'd say I was fully up to date with what was going on in the music industry and stuff and I was watching Top of the Pops every week and stuff and then from 2005 onwards I I just I think I was so busy you know with the university with working and if I wasn't doing that I'd be in the pub or I'd be out with one of my with my friend from college or studying or doing you know coursework or counseling people so I didn't spend an awful lot of time watching television during that period you know at the weekends I'd like get a box set or a couple of videos or DVDs you know from blockbusters on a Friday and take them back on a Monday but other than that generally yeah I probably watched EastEnders maybe and that was it I still watch TV but I wasn't watching it I wasn't it wasn't a routine as it were so I'm just trying to think oh by the way I've got a YouTube channel in case you are still listening if you're still listening I've got a YouTube channel and I've got Instagram and TikTok and X where I upload videos every day also got a Facebook Facebook group called Jason Newland's Boring Group and all of my podcasts are available probably pretty much everywhere everywhere in the world most podcast hosts if you just search for my name you'll find me I'm not far away I'm not easy I'm not hard to find right let's have a look so the YouTube channel is called let me boi to sleep dash Jason Newland and so far I have what have I got 1,708 subscribers which that's all right I'm sure it went up to 1,711 then went down no it went it went up to 1,709 that's the most I've had it and then for some reason it just dropped so on the 26th of May 1,709 it dropped to 101 then it went down on the 31st of May to 1,705 and now it's worked its way back up again it's like a stock market isn't it so the 4th of June 2026 which this is at 4 minutes past 1pm it's 1,708 so I guess it just grows even when it goes down it still grows so if you look at the 7th of May it was 1,695 it hasn't grown by much has it was 16 12 I don't know not much let me go down just have a look 14 subscribers in the last 28 days 3,300 views and 1,400 watch time hours which apparently is 92.

1 more than usual okay I don't know why that is I'm just grateful thank you very much thank you ever so much how wonderful of you all yesterday I was having problems with YouTube because okay here the thing is all my any recording I upload to my podcast automatically gets sent to YouTube I can do a little envelope and it gets sent to YouTube posted to them and they open it up and they uh they take the each podcast out and upload it to YouTube all six versions that I do each day or of each recording and and yesterday morning I did my uh what did I call it the I can't even remember my own podcasts breaking free from control and manipulation so I did that podcast yesterday morning a new one uploaded it to my YouTube channel to my podcast blimey and like I do like I have been doing every day for some reason and yesterday's one was called why manipulation feels addictive it didn't upload and I'm thinking what's going on I did some research on chatgbt what's going on and apparently they said to me well have you and they say to me but they wrote down have you checked to see if you've had any emails from YouTube I said I don't understand the question so they reworded it have you checked to see if you received any emails from YouTube I said okay good now I understand so I looked and I had now apparently my podcasts were too long as in the title was too long so what I've done is I've reduced basically I've taken my name and the date off of the titles and they're uploading fine now but it still didn't upload yesterday's one that was missing so that's going to be missing from the well basically it's never going to be on YouTube which is a shame never mind I suppose there's a way of doing it but it doesn't matter really it's on a podcast and I suppose it's not going to be on YouTube so I've started to get a little bit of traffic on the podcast the because I thought I need to promote this you know I mean I need to promote that podcast what have we got oh yeah by the way I had a comment on my YouTube channel saying it's from ya ya hound 1912 Jason is the modern god of sleep hypnos by far the best cure for insomnia he is a master class in relaxation and the shepherd to slum slumberland bravo Jason you are the gem of the REM as in REM sleep hugs from across the pond that's very kind thank you ya ya hound 1912 and I've looked I've got into the garden and I've looked over the pond can't see anyone there so I don't know who sent it but it's very kind thank you I like getting nice messages not a big fan of horrible messages but I like getting nice messages they feel lovely makes me feel warm and cozy inside and I know it sounds like I'm being sarcastic but it's true it does actually feel nice oh warm and cozy oh no it does it's nice um so I started promoting the I said the break and free from control and manipulation podcast and I've had six page views like as in people have clicked on the link so 400 487 views it's reached 473 so I don't know how that works out it's reached more people than have seen it that it's reached less people than have seen it doesn't doesn't make sense does it um but six people have clicked and the podcast itself now has it has gone up in its viewership I've had three views today so I've got nine views nine downloads since I started building it on the I don't know if well the first I got the 8th of May as a first person the first time anyone looked at it I don't know when I actually did the first recording anyone anyone for anyone anyone remember I can check I suppose let me have a little look so now I've done 15 or 16 now I was 7th of May is the first one I did you deserve safety and now I've done one do we have to count them out every day yes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 so yeah 16 episodes so far and which actually makes 96 episodes because there's six of each one three without music three with music of various lengths I think the average length of the recording on its own is about between half half an hour and 40 minutes I mean today's one was 33 isn't it 34 minutes nearly yesterday's was 35 minutes the day before was 27 day before that was 26 32 minutes 41 minutes 43 minutes just under 30 minutes 34 minutes 29 minutes 22 minutes 26 minutes 30 minutes 33 and 28 so yeah between 20 and 30 between 30 and 40 roughly maybe the average probably about 35 minutes or 34.

6 something like that I'd have to I'd have to count them all out and do the mathematics but I'm not going to because I don't feel it's a good use of my time I don't know what do you think anyone what do you think I don't know so other than that what else is going on in the world in my world well I had to get some new shoes well the new trainers sneakers trainers whatever you want to call them because the ones I got don't have they if if they were human they would be forced to retire they would be treated well I say treated really well but I'm not sure how well pensioners are treated in this country but they would be forced to retire they're not as the politicians love to say a few years back not fit for purpose now it's let me be clear let me be clear it's almost when a politician's about to lie or say something untrue or say something they're not actually going to do they start a sentence with let me be clear bless them not fit for purpose let me be clear what's another one the politician cliches it's kind of up there with uh not it's meant to be everything happens for a reason that cliche that people used to like to say that I don't hear that as often these days um not fit for purpose haven't heard recent I did hear it the other day but that's less it's almost I don't know if the it's not just politicians it's like the higher level of people that come on the radio on the television stuff and they tend to have the same kind of jargon and I don't know if they're told a list of words uh keywords buzzwords that they're supposed to use and let me think of some of the others buzzwords buzz terms politicians use okay so I've got a list here glossary of politic political idioms and buzzwords okay see this is a weird one so like they've got by the way this isn't about politics it's just about words that are used okay not getting into politics okay um see apparently antifa calling someone antifa is now um a it's like a it's like a swear word now and I didn't know what it meant I just I used to watch these marches and demonstrations on the tv or on youtube and there'd be antifa and people would start shouting at them and the end and they were acting very non-peaceful it's anti-fascist how can that be a bad thing it's like we against fascists okay well this sounds like a positive way to start thinking but yeah who am I to say bleeding heart liberal my friend used to say that and uses an insult towards someone who expresses concern for people say yeah I've been called that in the past can you imagine I didn't think that would get to a point in life where being kind was actually a bad quality to have wanting to help people was almost kind of criminal like a like it's like how is that bad caring caring so yeah I guess I am one of those bleeding heart liberals but if caring and wanting people to be peaceful and well and healthy and you know equality and all that stuff but anyway I thought you said you weren't at all about politics this technically is talking about politics no it's not it's really not blue collar brexit okay first let's move on from there buzzword a word that has become trendy or fashionable I'm just trying to think critical theory cultural echo chamber yeah an environment usually online in which people with similar views share opinions articles except you know so it's an echo chamber fake news that's another one that's uh was used uh for a few years isn't it fear-mongering that's been around for donkey's years gerrymander what's a gerrymander to change the borders of one or more electoral districts in order to give one party none okay I'd um yeah okay I'm not gonna read that one out either a lot of these have been around for a while but some of them are just yeah red tape for example it's been around for days but been around since before I was born shock jock a radio presenter who expresses extreme political positions it's been around for decades and decades and decades I don't know when the first one was but there was shock jocks in the 80s probably in the 70s as well maybe going back even further further think tank that's not a new one either is it a useful idiot someone who can be is easily manipulated to become a propag propagandist mouthpiece okay I've not heard that one before actually I've been called an idiot many times I've never been called useful virtue signaling I like that word see I'm not really um I quite like words I probably should get more into words because I do quite like them I think it's the explanation of things I like I'm not into well a little bit interested in where a word came from its origin root you know if it's from Latin or Greece or wherever but generally I quite like something like virtue signaling I don't remember that until more recent years and this is to do with politics but generally going up and handing money to someone that's playing the bongos at the side of the street but like doing a speech beforehand I'm now about to hand this five pound note to this gentleman who's been playing the bongos wonderfully but first let me tell you about myself for three hours and then handing it over and anyone want to take a picture I guess that's a very obvious virtue signaling I can't say signalling well actually I can but I remember I got a reference from a friend of mine and it was two pages long the first page was him talking about himself explaining and describing how well he'd done in his life now I don't know if that's how references should be and it was a personal reference so it wasn't really like a reference for a job it was a personal reference I think but like this is about me tell them about me not you tell them he's talking about all the different qualifications that he had but didn't mention the one time that I hoovered the stairs just before Christmas or yeah I did clean the bathroom sink once you know just what about me you know actually he's a really lovely man one of the nicest people I've ever met but at the same time some of the things he did I couldn't believe he literally had no fear no fear but ridiculous amount of no fear and two two examples of this I'll tell you one is he he picked up somebody basically he was coming out of work because he lived across the road but he was driving out because he used to drive part of his job but he he said oh he popped into the house he said I'll just pick up this man and and he's I'm gonna he wants to lift to Chelmsford or he wants to lift to the next town and he's dressed he's got a dress on and he's wearing a helmet and I'm like he was it seemed like quite an unusual situation so I said wait then I'll get in the car with you I'll sit in the front you can let him in the back because he was literally just gonna get this person bearing in mind this was like probably half 10 at night in the winter and we pulled up and this massive really big bloke and he had lots of different kind of clothing on and that's got nothing to do with anything I realized that but he do you know when you get like a sense that someone's not quite I don't know maybe not not feeling too well now I don't know how much that was because I was in the car and he didn't expect to see another person I might have ruined his planned evening I don't know um but he got in and looked at me first before he got in like and then my friend was talking to him and he was just getting one word answers and then we I just I just kind of kept quiet and my friend didn't stop asking questions the whole time and then dropped him off and apparently he's meeting someone in the field somewhere yeah so that was a just the whole thing was a little bit I didn't didn't sound right to me just for my friend's safety that was I was a little bit concerned anyway we come home I say to him you can't do stuff like that it's not safe and he just didn't get it I said look because you're so giving you also have to look after yourself especially late at night we're in the countryside giving a stranger a lift I mean personally if the person's stranded it depends on the situation but if the person is stranded and I'm getting a really a not great vibe from them but at the same time want to help them I'll find a taxi or you know and get him a taxi home which is what I could only do anyway because I don't drive but there's always you know hopefully other alternatives why did I say the word other alternatives there's always alternatives I didn't need the word other there did I really another thing is we was on the way to he was giving me a lift he was oh no was he giving me a lift I don't know we was on the way blimey I think anyway we was on the way to a retreat I think we were we were going together because he did actually give me a lift to a retreat once and drove back I can't believe he did that it was very nice for him that was 2005 but anyway we were on the way to this weekend retreat a buddhist retreat and we stopped off halfway there and it was in like lower stoft kind of area I think and we stopped at this beach place and it was on these cliffs I had a cup of tea some scones it was nice we picked up another person on the way as well so that would have been I wonder where that was we were going but anyway so so we're walking and we're walking along the cliffs and my friend said oh I want to go for a swim go for a swim so so okay we'll just have a look if there's a way around and I'm walking with a lady another person that yeah I think we went all together as four of us I think or three of us and we see this sign really big sign saying do not you know unsafe do not even go near the cliffs because it's breaking away so I was like I turn around like you can't and he was gone I thought he's fallen down how are we gonna get home and I looked over the cliff and he's literally he's running on the beach he's just run down the cliff completely ignored the big the minute sign was big I mean enough to be fair I think banging that huge sign into the edge of the cliff probably didn't help with the cliff breaking probably made it worse and he's in the sea having a good old swim did not care and I don't know there's something he lives his whole life nice and it's not fake he's just genuinely a really lovely person and he he blacked out on the motorway once this is a few years back in his car driving blacked out woke up in the hospital he had a couple of bruises car completely written off thankfully no one else involved he just rode off the road into a ditch or into a tree or something unscathed apart from literally just a bruised arm how how on earth he I mean it's almost like me as a Buddhist but it's almost like he was got some kind of protective aura around him to keep him safe and it's spooky it's not spooky it's lovely but it's absolutely just I've never known anyone like that and I think maybe in a way in my own little mind my own little mind way since I've known him so I've known him for 20 years over 20 years 25 years nearly I've kind of maybe thought that if I can be a decent person or at least you know try to be a decent person and to help people perhaps I can have some of that some of that and I'm not talking about being indestructible I'm just almost giving kindness out and receiving kindness back in whatever shape it takes and I don't know if what I'm saying makes sense it doesn't really make sense to me on an on a feeling level it makes sense but logically it doesn't you know it's not like I make recordings and I'm gonna get a reward from everyone that listens to my recordings I know that's not gonna happen I don't mean it like that I mean like an energy an energy thing a positive energy of putting out yeah I like to think that what I do is quite positive I know I might mess around and say silly things sometimes on these podcasts and but in real life what am I like in real life that's the question because am I going to because the real life is what happens to me when I'm not making recordings isn't it what I do when I'm not making recordings but I think making recordings is is the biggest part of my real life you know as far as I've got Vinnie to look after that doesn't really take much work really it's just a case of keeping him happy keeping him busy taking notice of him when he wants attention and loving him I think that's all you really need to do with a dog isn't it just love him make sure they get the exercise get out eat healthy whatever he's a happy boy he's very relaxed I mean I don't know how bored he gets because he does sleep a lot but then he's quite a sleeper anyway he would have a lot more fun if he lived in a family full of kids and maybe even another dog but he doesn't like the competition with other dogs now did I tell you the other day he he started barking at this man's dog the dog wandered off because it was on a long lead so he's wandered off away from their owner and Vinnie walked up to the human the man whose dog he just barked at and started saying hello to him wanted attention from it's just I couldn't believe what I was watching seriously I was like that is so cheeky to expect that man to be all friendly to you when you've literally just been shouting at his dog it's very weird he's just not big fan of dogs he loves humans loves humans he's kind of his hierarchy of humans is probably kids women men that's his hierarchy loves kids loves and then he loves women and men after I mean it might feel what's the difference I don't know it's just the way he acts I think with the kids because he's got a friend that lives around the corner that he's known was pretty much nearly his whole life really and she'd sometimes in the summer all year round really different times she'll take him and they'll run around and he loves that because he gets to run around on the lead and I can't do that well not for more than about 10 seconds so and he's he likes that and these he likes young people I suppose because of the energy and they can play and run around and do all that stuff but then he's got a real thing for women adult women real like soppiness is a proper flirt he's got at least three girlfriends and then men not all men mind you not all women either there's some people he doesn't go near he is almost he can tell if someone's I was there's a couple of man and a woman married couple that have two dogs and they generally come out separate when the woman's comes out she talks to me and Vinnie goes and says hello to her and says hello to the dogs when the man comes out the dogs generally don't even come near us and he doesn't talk to us he might say hello but that was you know that's it so it's kind of he doesn't go anywhere near him Vinnie doesn't but he's all over her and it's the same as another couple as well they've got a dog and both friendly but the woman's just verbally more friendly so that she will stop and have a chat and Vinnie loves her so I guess he it's not a male thing it's just because I thought there's plenty of men that I talked to they've got dogs around here he I think he just prefers women over men but he's also got his favorite men and if you give him a treat he's your friend for life I think a lot of dogs are like that in they the thing is I know if this was like a two-way conversation chances are someone would quite quickly say all dogs do that which then ends the conversation doesn't it so basically what's that that's done now is stop me from ever really mentioning anything that my dog's done because the answer is going to be oh all dogs do that and it just stifles the fun doesn't it it's like oh that's so I try not to do that when I'm talking to people because we kind of know that so many not all anything do anything all do they I mean it's dogs are different but it's a lot of dogs do very similar things I mean there was this little dog did something that made me laugh really laugh and the there's two dogs one was really friendly and the owner said oh the other one if you don't like it I'll just turn you back on is he'll just look the other way turn his back on you at this point they were both facing me and I just laughed for us that's funny and that's exactly what the dog did I went up to that dog and he literally turned around sat down and faced the other way just looked at the other way and was facing I think it was facing a fence he wanted nothing to do with me imagine if we could do that as humans and get away with it because we don't take it as offensive if a dog does it I found it funny but at the same time noted in my head you know that that dogs are no longer on my Christmas list my Christmas card list so but it was funny if a human did it it'd be difficult probably mind you if a human just sat down on the grass turn their back and faced your way from me that would be quite funny as well I mean outside of a relationship I've never had anyone do that to me anyway just completely ignore me I think maybe just trying to think maybe when I was at school yeah I suppose I've had people ignore me a few times yeah I had to get some shoes because my shoes basically had holes in so I got these shoes that I mentioned them sneakers trainers whatever you want to call them and they look like the color of them is radioactive kermit bright green like proper fluorescent bright green and it's so nice to now be able to go out I no longer have to put my socks on again like I did before because they slip on as well and they fit perfectly I was like wow so I've needed these for month well probably over a year but I just kept at it with the old ones and the old I mean they they were so worn I started talking about this earlier didn't I if my shoes were human they'd be retired and did I get distracted and start talking about something else I think I did anyway I got these shoes and all these footwear I'm not sure I'm not sure about them because they're quite bright I'm definitely not hidden you know a little bit too bright but the weird thing about it is I can't remember the last time I saw my feet now it's all I see when I got those shoes on see I don't know but I'm thinking come like later in the year when it's dark will they be seen will they can they be seen in the dark or will they be but will they reflect light to be seen in the dark if someone's you know from a street light or a car light or something I don't know imagine how weird that would be someone in a park seeing that just a pair of shoes walking down the road Wow yeah it's nice not to wear to wear socks actually but I might have to I'm thinking I don't know how good that is for the shoes bearing in mind I'm only wearing the shoes for like half an hour at a time probably three times a day maybe four times depending so I'm not generally going for like long walks or anything long long walks so they shouldn't get I don't know I think the thing is and I've done this probably my whole life I've had a habit of just wearing the same stuff until they just wear away like just just a worn out is that why we say wear and worn worn that was worn by him I wear that you're wearing it you're wearing it out yeah I'm going outside no you're wearing it out yeah I'm about to go outside no it's threaded there's holes in the armpits you're wearing it out oh it's weird language is strange isn't it so I've had a habit of just wearing things until they got holes in them and then they have to be chucked away and I've got no choice but to buy something new but if I had a few pairs of shoes I could wear different ones on different days and they would last a lot longer and perhaps I wouldn't have holes in my in the bottoms of the shoes if I had a few pairs yeah something to think about in it you know I mean itchy arm itchy arm oh that's nice oh yeah so I've worn them yesterday and today I saw someone that I hadn't seen for a little bit and she was laughing at me she said well I saw you from a distance and she said she basically told me that I was very uncoordinated and then said that somehow it worked then he just started barking for some reason I'm thinking here someone in the building moving around I don't know why he's barking Millennials that's another one that was quite new see I don't understand okay it says it here what it is but even if I read it out to you I still won't know what it is it's like when I say to someone oh when they someone said oh my friend Katie's come around I said so I was your friends come around what's the name Katie we don't know how many times you told me her name's Katie I'm not gonna remember it and is that rude possibly but I won't I mean the we is a weird thing yeah there was a someone moved downstairs and they've got the same name as my goddaughter or one of my former goddaughter I don't know but someone I was very close to same name and I can never remember the name and then the lady who moved in opposite me has got the same name as her sister how about that for weird so basically my friend two of my friends daughters names basically living in this building just the names not the actual people the person that lives on the top the other build the other flat in the top he's got the same name as my dad one of the women downstairs she's got the same now same name as my first girlfriend and the last person here I've never known anyone with her name huh but everyone else they've got names of people that well I guess you could say I've been quite important in my life I mean did the the one from downstairs who'd same name yeah the what my ex girlfriend she's she was the one that took my innocence when I was 19 19 it's amazing those were very long years I mean really in reality if I'm perfectly honest there wasn't very much that was important to me when I left school apart from females that's the only thing I really was interested in and I had hardly any good fortune on that front I had a couple of girlfriends along the way but I think I was very shy I was very shy didn't know I didn't really know what I was doing okay I say that like I do now I've never known what I just I just didn't I remember saying to I said that the lady who took my innocence I said was it good for you and she said no it was really bad I said there must be something nice about it what it must be it must be one nice part of the evening she said yeah when I arrived back home that was nice it's like really she said yeah you were awful I said but I didn't know what I was doing she said but you must have done at least basic anatomy at school I don't know what that meant but okay I didn't know what I was doing when I was writing I love poems and everything I was I was really really desperate I used to be I used to be romantic I did when I was at school I was romantic even in 2006 or 2007 I was writing love poems yeah late 80s I was writing love poems I actually here's a weird one I probably talked about all of this before that there was this lady or female about same age as me maybe a year younger and I danced with her at the holiday camp it was a caravan site but they had like a hall you know discos and stuff so I was what was I I was 18 so I think she was 17 I met her the year before and the year before we ended up dancing I don't know if we kissed I can't remember and I went back to her caravan and she gave me a telephone number her address or whatever you know so it was like let's keep in touch and she lived long way away from where I did and I fell in love with her and I literally spent a year talking to her on the phone sending her letters sending her love letters love poetry talking for hours on the phone using one two pences and five pences on the public phone honestly for a year until she came back the following year on holiday again and we weren't we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend because we you know it but I thought maybe I felt close to her and I thought maybe she might like me I did have a girlfriend you know in the summer of that year that the next year but I thought maybe once we met again you know something would happen something the sparks would fly as it were well I went along to the caravan site to see her and she was hiding from me now I didn't she told me that she was going to be there as he didn't say keep away so she was hiding from me it turned out that she'd spent the last year dating someone else that she met at the caravan site the previous year like proper him going up there because he was older so he had a car and he used to go out there and and they ended up she ended up having a baby with him and everything and nothing to do with the car the baby in the car but it's quite funny because that baby now would be what was that 89 so if that baby was born in 90 36 years old that baby Wow Wow 36 year old because I had to visit her in 1991 I thought I'd give her a surprise I don't know why but I wanted to keep in contact with her because eventually I did catch up with her and she explained the reason she was hiding is because she had a boyfriend and I said I was upset but it's like okay it's fine you could have just told me instead of I just look I feel a bit silly but you know it's not like we haven't seen each other for a year I possibly possibly wouldn't have devoted a year of sending love letters and stuff but I wasn't you know it's I don't remember if I was upset probably was anyway I visited her in 1991 when I moved to London and I just got a train up there I knew where she lived I should have called first it was a weird thing to do I've done that a few times in the past but it wasn't like a regular thing just turning up on someone's doorstep but on this occasion it was and her parents let me in they remembered who I was they've been answering the phone to me for a year and probably read some of the letters as well I think they felt a bit sorry for me actually but anyway so this is the next year so this is sort of 89 and then two years later so 91 knock on the door and oh she's at work but she'll be home soon I said that's fine I don't mind waiting so we watched Neighbours I think her younger sister was there and we were having a laugh and then she turned up and she or she was out anyway and she came back and I don't think she was well she wasn't prepared to see me and she didn't seem too excited but you know I just I guess I just wanted to see how she was and well she had a baby at this point that's when I found out she had a baby because I hadn't really spoken to her probably since yeah I hadn't spoken to her for two years I don't think yeah because I didn't know about the baby so we went for a walk went down to this quite nice area actually this big old pond and we were sitting down and she was telling me about all the rubbish she had to go through with her ex-boyfriend and how she was single and all this stuff and I was just thinking oh well I've got to catch my train home soon and it was very strange because I didn't really like her I thought I liked her I thought I still kind of had feelings for her even though it's two years later but it's like yeah because I kind of felt like she'd led me on a bit but I don't know if someone bombards you with poetry I suppose you kind of need to let them know to stop don't you maybe maybe she enjoyed the poems maybe they made her laugh because they were probably awful it was very much like I love you I love you yes I do I want to know if you love me too is very much basic like that rhymy and simple yeah I used to do a bit of poetry I think the last time I really did much in the way of poems was about 95 I was really writing poems quite regularly and it was a way to I guess trying to express myself and how I was feeling and all that but I did it quite a nice quite a meaningful poem about my brothers once around that time but yeah got lost along the way I don't know where it went because I didn't always do them like in my pads because I had a bunch of writing pads full of journals basically and I kept a journal from 19 well from 1990 but started in 1989 all the way to to 2011 89 to 2011 but I lost the pad I didn't like 89 so I started in April 1990 so there's so to 1990 2000 2010 2000 so 21 years I was writing journals very regular for a long time and then less so and then I'd go through periods when I'd write all the time I literally write every thought that was going on in my mind and then I go periods when I didn't write anything for ages I mean in a way in a weird kind of a way this is kind of like a journal but I don't know I think I'd probably be I might say more in a journal than I would do online and I would be naming people as well which I don't really name people I don't know I wish I had them now I wish I had those journals it'd be I'd go through them now I'd read through them I'd read them out loud and I'd be surprised that like how yeah probably because some of them were deteriorating because I don't know for so long and it also traveled with me all over the place many different places different houses that I'd lived in in fact I even traveled all the way to Ireland with them with me although there was less of them because that was 94 so I'd only had like four years worth of journals but that was my most prolific writing time between 90 and 94 between 90 and 95 actually so I had it was heavy I had this like a kit bag you know for like an army and I had all this stuff in there and all these books and I was going to live with Andre and his parents so I went over there and they stopped me in Ireland at customs and took me into a room searched my bag wouldn't know who I was why did I have so much stuff in my bag why where was I going to stay all this stuff really proper questioned me and I said I'm moving there and in the end I gave him the telephone number to phone so I had Andre's telephone number and they phoned up his and spoke to his mum and she said yeah he's staying with me he's staying on me so he is that's how she talked and they sort of okay fair enough but they searched through my bag looked through the books what the heck is this what is this I don't know what they thought because they could see I was struggling to carry it it's a very heavy bag I thought I was dragging it along the ground most of the time and I basically had all my belongings with me that was everything I had so I had my Buddhist book what clothes I could take and my yeah my my pads my journals got a little motorbike in the background and then yeah they let me go and I went through I didn't get any hassle coming back which was nice I probably didn't care did they coming back but coming in it's weird because it was at night and there's hardly anyone else around but I think I might have gone to the toilet to do a big poo so they might have wondered what I was doing in there and I was wearing different clothes when I came out that I was wearing when I went in who knows did that in Thailand after 12 hours on a flight blimey oh I was prepared just to chuck away my clothes I was wearing it was just like I needed to get out of them so because you know it's a 12-hour flight but it was I think the flight was something like 2.

30 in the afternoon I left here at 6 in the morning and then so what's that 8 hours plus 12 so so that's 12 13 14 15 16 18 19 so that's 20 hours of being awake I was awake for at least probably an hour or two before I left the house so that's 22 hours and I was awake for another two hours probably after the flight getting back getting off the flight going through customs getting the taxi to where I was going so I've been awake for 24 hours yeah it was a different time zone and I wasn't tired but I was tired I kind of think that maybe showers should be available at airports done in a way that's private because I'm pretty sure that people would pay to be able to just rinse themselves off after like such a long flight I hope they clean them seats on the planes I do wonder how much cleaning goes in that's why I don't like sitting on buses it's like I don't know I don't know who's sat on here I don't know just like yeah but the thing is if you're walking on the pavement it's your shoes that's kind of it's not touching you is it it's touching your shoes but it's not you know and why is it always every single bus I go on there's always one bus that's got like a like a dark gummy part on it I don't know if it's like chewing gum that's been on there for years there's always like something that's just on there at least one seat maybe they put them on maybe they have to maybe it's for good luck put a bus together has to have a crappy seat on there just for good luck I don't know I might have just made that up in fact I did just made that up it's sunny now still windy the birdies are singing but the clouds are coming across and I would not be surprised not in the least bit surprised if it starts raining again I don't mind if it rains I ain't got a huge issue if it rains although I don't really want to be out in it no but I will take him out probably about six or seven almost my tummy just went did you hear that that's it really let's just check the stats it's always slow this time of the day then it picks up so it'll be doubled out by the end of the day once you're halfway through the day so I guess it makes sense make it make sense it does already make sense oh that's gone up so yeah that's it I think trying to see if there's anything else happened so test drove the trainers yeah I started watching EastEnders I'm thinking I've got to stop watching that I don't think it's good for me and no not a lot else going on really as I said I made another recording this morning this is the second of the day and the weird thing about it is I've got you know I've got it's got its own podcast but most of the people listening to it are listening on the hypnosis asleep and deeply podcast so if I look for the last seven days so like yeah the second most popular recording that's been listened to on the hypnosis asleep and deeply I can't the name of my own podcasts yeah and then the fourth fourth one is one from there seventh one is from there so yes it's picking up and I've got some other podcasts like hypnosis recording podcast as well sleep hypnosis so I don't know quite okay that's fairly that comes and goes but the number one there is the yeah the one from that podcast number two number three yeah so that's got quite a few there and the other one is the where is it Vinny come on man the other one is relax and sleep hypnosis daily Vinny can you open that window please so there's oh okay again on this one as well one number one most listened to is but if I go for 30 days yeah 30 days the most listened to one is walking on eggshells number three fear of upsetting people four six nine ten 11 13 14 16 17 sorry 19 20 so start quite a few in the top 20 there I've got them like I'm doing the charts 1 2 3 4 5 6 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 so 1 2 3 4 5 recordings in the top 10 and that's for sleep hypnosis daily for the last 30 days so if I look at the top 10 for hypnosis for sleeping deeply the last 30 days 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 okay none that's in the last 30 days blimey but if I go in the last seven days 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1 2 3 okay so three in the top 10 for the last seven days hmm don't really give me much information is it I said yesterday when I did a recording that the website was offline but it's now online again I don't know why it was some kind of a gimp thing going on but it's now back which is good and I'm still going to make a few changes on the website but basically every time I do a new recording and you can firstly the very top of the page there's you can scroll down and stream the recording it's at the very top of the page you can basically it's a playlist embedded and there's thousands you can go down to if you want also if you click on okay okay I'll come back from that what's going on right if you go down you got bulk downloads I've got quite a few downloads you can choose some of them like 50 recordings each one these let me boy to sleep and then I've got individual recordings at the moment it's a let me boy to sleep ones I've got 1624 there's a few missing along the way but it's still most most of that you can click on that and you can download all six versions of the recording yesterday was whisper witness day one before that was weird things left in taxis trivia Tuesday Monday's boring sleepy boring objects with Monday and Q&A Friday so I didn't do anything the whole week and number 1617 let me boy to sleep no one's noticed does anyone if you look at that what does that remind you of what kind of design is that I put that together myself I was very pleased with it but hmm fair enough you don't have to think is brilliant I'm looking at some got so many images from years ago well I don't know I just somebody I just like so many images that I put together it takes a quite a bit okay I'm not doing I'm having to make the prompts but it's knowing what prompts to do and then it's knowing how to change it and rearrange it and all that stuff which can take quite a while oh yes quite a while indeed okay so because I didn't have any images for the first I couldn't find any I made some new ones for the first one so the first few images first you let me boy to sleeps like 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 up to 11 and then up to 20 so these these weren't the original images 27 no none of these were the original images I wonder when the original images started so there must have been some I'll find them if they're there there any if they've been saved they just might not have been saved yeah so I made a lot of yeah lot of 91 90 92 100 100 that's a lot of different images I wonder how many of that how did I put these together I've no idea it's probably years ago that I did this I said I've had this store for years and I've been adding to it and adding to it taking away then adding then reducing then adding again and just looking at some of these old images I'm getting oh some don't have any images at all so I need to sort that out looks like maybe there's hundreds that don't have images in fact they've got images they've got the old image of a little baby with a yellow hat which used to be the what used to be the let me boy to sleep image and maybe I should have kept that because it's cute that that little baby I think it was my baby was it I think someone's baby that I actually knew and now it'd be probably about 20 right yeah this isn't I need to sort that out I didn't realize this because I've not taken much notice you see oh now it's gone to the image of Vinnie with the headphones I don't even remember what the image is now for let me pull you to sleep I should do shouldn't I really oh let me pull you to sleep the moon I like that image I also used to have one with an owl and I had one where it was just me holding Vinnie like Vinnie Andre sorry so I know technically I shouldn't change the images of the podcast because people would get used to the podcast having that image and you know keeping things regular you know the same in some ways but I don't know I mean that image can stay now that's that's it I think that's another image for quite a while and that could stay there and hypnosis for sleeping deeply has been the same for years Jason's bedtime story time that's been the same for years let me boil your pain away it's been the same for years and years and years the stress and pain relief has been the same for years stop smoking ones been the same for years and years relaxing sleep hypnosis daily has been the same for years relaxation for stressing panic attacks has been a same image logo for years and years has had yet chronic pain one and the deep sleep whisper hypnosis one the thing is and sleepy boring objects as well the thing is I just I have too many podcasts but what am I supposed to do I've made too many recordings if I had just one recording one podcast rather how would that work how would anybody find my stuff it's an impossible I mean I could have done that just one recording Jason Newland's hypnosis podcast or something like that which I used to do or you know sleep and sleep relaxation hypnosis I think was one of the podcasts which was very popular a few years back if I just kept that and nothing else most of my stuff would have been just out of reach the the podcast host wouldn't keep 20,000 recordings or whatever 20,000 hours of recordings all on just one podcast so mmm it's alright it's alright it's okay doesn't really matter if you go angry it's another one of my love poems yeah that's it really I'm gonna make myself a nice cup of tea some croissants in the oven or the air oven and then gonna sit down and either watch an episode of minder which is only 10 minutes or if it's an episode I've seen recently I'm gonna watch what am I gonna watch I'm gonna watch hello ladies which is a sitcom that I like I've seen it before but it's a long time ago so it's Stephen Merchant from the office you know and extras so I'll watch him and then I want to watch his movie I've never seen the movie I've seen his stand-up set but I didn't know it even done a movie about the TV show so I'm gonna watch that either today or maybe tomorrow also watching spider spider noir on Amazon spider noir with Nicolas Cage it's yeah I quite like it actually it gives you a choice of watching it even in black and white like the old crime movies or in Technicolor or something so I chose to watch it black and white and it's quite weird it's quite weird watching something you know this kind of I mean it's it's up to date as far as it's just been made but it's set in probably the 30s or 20s something like that either 20s 30s or 40s no I think it would be in the possibly the late 40s or 50s yeah so or maybe maybe the 30s I'm not 100% sure so I'm gonna go and even though Vinny is fast asleep as soon as I say these words he will wake up as soon as I say thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy and be gentle with yourself you deserve to feel safe lots of love so I said lots of love he's up honestly every time so yeah lots of love I will be doing another a Q&A Friday tomorrow it's Thursday today so I've got a Q&A Friday tomorrow if you've got any questions I've got a couple already on Jason Newland's Boring Group you can send me a question on YouTube you can send me a question whichever way you want to do it on by email by on Facebook on my website if you've got a question for Q&A Friday so thank you for and lots of love bye