(Short Music) Whisper Wednesday | #1624 Let Me Bore You To Sleep

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland. com My name is Jason Newland. This is let me put you to sleep Whisper Wednesday And Vinny is searching Actually, Vinny is scavenging Scavenging, scavenging, scavenging Anyway, whatever it is, that's what he's doing And he's got a plate full of food there But he doesn't want it Bless him So let me take my glasses off And put my computer glasses on so I can see Okay, that's better So hello, hello Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes I did one of these last week I don't know why Vinny's just staring at me That's the thing If he gets used to having treats And when I've run out I don't think he quite knows what to do It throws him right off And it's not really his fault, is it?

Because normally when we get back from a walk The first thing I do is give him a treat Just to say good boy, you know Or good girl, depends on how I'm feeling He's found something else to do with his mouth Good boy, Vinny You keep yourself busy Oh dear So I might need to get myself a delivery It's raining today Now I don't think anybody Not about it being wet and cloudy and a little bit chilly Not after all the hot weather we've had But I'm going to give it a go It's bloody raining Even Vinny didn't want to be having it Seriously, he was hassling me to go out Well, hassling me for something I haven't quite learnt all his language yet So I took him out And put my cardigan on Because I thought I'm not wearing a jacket It was kind of partially raining I put my hat on I'm sorry, but the background sound is going to be Vinny doing this He's trying to reach the hard to reach places As I imagine most dogs do He just seems to want to do it when I'm making a recording That's it Vinny, you must have got a lot Very dirty since the last time you cleaned it Which was about half an hour ago I got a very clean boy It's very hygienic So anyway, we got as far as the park Which isn't far And he just stood there He refused to punch, wouldn't walk forward, wouldn't walk sideways Wouldn't walk backwards, just stood there Which, I mean I had to kind of almost drag him into the park He wanted me to bring you out And now you don't want to come here What's going on?

I think basically he did a wee wee and that was all he wanted It's, I suppose, yeah I suppose if you're Liverpool Street And you get off the train And maybe you're going from Norwich or Heathrow And you're travelling all the way to Scotland So maybe you get on at Kings Cross or Liverpool Street And you get off to have an ice cream And someone gives you a tour of the entire city Maybe that's what he was doing Now when he does this, when I'm trying to do a hypnosis session You don't half wipe me out Because it's just, it sounds like fidgeting I mean the fact that you're hearing it at the beginning of the recording You know you can just turn it off Because he's probably going to be doing it the whole time Unless I tell him off And I don't want to tell him off He seems to be so happy So in the end we just came back It's kind of weird really So I'm just thinking I'm not a big fan of the sounds he makes honestly Yeah I just wish he'd stop But I've had a talk with him I sat him down I thought it'd be best to break it to him over a nice meal At the local Indian restaurant So we went along He was scared He said don't leave me on my own in there Because I needed to go to the toilet He said why not The next thing he said was very inappropriate Borderline racist So I'm not going to repeat it But it is what he thought they were going to cook him And that's like you can't say stuff like that It's just rude He is so ignorant It's ridiculous sometimes I said you're muddled up mate You're ignorant That's a Chinese restaurant You're thinking of Wow Wow So Order again I think I might need to get him some stuff Treats The thing is when I order Uber Eats There's that additional cost It's just I'd like to say exorderant I can't I can't say it I can't pronounce it Exorberant It's a lot Cost a lot Do you mean exorberant?

Yeah I know how to say it really I'm just missing the barrel Wow You don't have to take everything I say seriously Blimmin' heck Sometimes I like to play don't you know I like to be a bit of a silly billy Oh yes Yes My mouth is feeling a bit better than it was yesterday I had an earache And I'm not I'm not a hermaphrodite You know I'm not always worried about them I don't like constantly think that I'm ill And think there's something wrong with me the whole time But I do You know I mean Sometimes I like I do think oh Is it connected because I had an earache before With the infection And I thought oh the infection's coming back But also I've got a bit of a I'm not a big fan of earaches And you could argue well Find me someone that is Which is just rude It's confrontational There's no need for that Especially as I've not even finished saying what I was going to say And it involves me as a child Going through a difficult period See you feel guilty now don't you Judging me As Michael Jackson said Try hard to love me Before you judge me No try hard not to judge me Before you love me No try hard to love me Before you judge me He said a lot of things didn't he Never return my calls So What was I saying Yeah when I was about seven I'm not saying that my earache Really Vinny Shush I'm not saying that my earache started at seven But that's when I can kind of He is intent on making as much noise as possible Honestly I'm just glad that I packed away the drum kit Hit the trumpet I'd quite like to do a musical instrument Apparently my brother took out the violin recently And then he stopped So Really Vinny is there any other part of your body That you would like to introduce to the audience Just how this is You had these other bits earlier No no he's so rude He said no Would you want me to tap dance No He gets very sarcastic sometimes I said to him You know when I'm making a recording The people listening don't even necessarily want to listen to what you're doing And he said what people I said He said what people Ain't no one listening to you You're talking to yourself The only one listening to you is me unfortunately And that's only because I can't get away I don't know how to use my voice Use a door handle You hid my letter It's very rude It's very dismissive You know even like On my last birthday I was like Vinny it's my birthday today More noise I genuinely don't know what else he's gonna do I mean he's been scratching at the carpet He's flapping his ears Drinking the water And cleaning himself Slurping Now I don't know what else he's gonna do He's banging against the The desk At the bottom So Hopefully he'll just settle down And relax Maybe not There's no guarantees is there No guarantees in life I need to just What am I doing I just don't know Do you know sometimes you just don't know That's where I am with this I don't know Don't know what I'm doing Generally Oh guess what I did I just got excited I put an advert Or at least I attempted To put an advert on Really Vinny He's got this bone thing And it's literally just Looks like he's gonna rub it against the metal bit On the bottom of the desk See Now he's scratching himself So that's another way to make noise Now he's eating his dinner I don't know if you can hear that He ate some of it And then he came back here now He came back looking sorry for himself Like feeling sorry for himself I can't believe I got to eat that crap It's not crap It's dog food It's nice dog food It's pedigree chum Your pedigree chum Oh he's gonna give himself another bed bath Right at my feet I didn't expect that Oh dear oh dear Oh well I don't know This ad centre I should talk more Shouldn't I consider it's a podcast So I decided to try and promote my new podcast Breaking Free from Control and Manipulation And I thought maybe a good way to do it Is to put an advert on Facebook Ads It's very cheap Something like £2 a day So I thought maybe I'll put it on there for a day And see if I get anything It's saying estimated I could perhaps get 30 clicks to the podcast But it's saying not delivering So I don't know if that's because Oh that's it Vinnie Jump off that Honestly this is the Vinnie podcast today The Vinnie Oh now he's gone over He's trying to find something else I swear he's gonna make some noise now with something else I think he's bored I don't, well I was gonna say I don't know why But I kind of do know why Because it's boring probably for him Stuck here with me It's not my fault Well I guess is it my, maybe it is my fault I don't feel like it's my fault I just don't have an exciting lifestyle Nor do I want one Necessarily It depends what you can answer It's exciting doesn't it I suppose Yeah Oh that's it Vinnie Well done mate Well done It's basically Just a little sausage And he, anything he can do to wind me up He will do it I had been thinking though Oh yeah I had an earache when I was seven And it turned out I was deaf in one ear Or partially deaf in one ear So I remember I kept having to go and have these tests And I'd play these um I'd be in a different room And I'd listen to these headphones And they'd be going Like different Not temperatures Pitches, different pitches And uh Yeah that's it really that's the whole story I ended up having to have an operation And basically my adenoids were blocking Something there was something going on blocking the hearing So I had my adenoids out when I was eight years old And it's really hard The experience was so different From when I had my appendix out at 12 Because I was downstairs in this almost like a cellar When I was eight And it's like there was two hospitals in the town One old hospital and one just built I was in the old hospital that got derelicted Or you know destroyed So I was in this hospital and it was just grim And I don't think there was anyone else on the ward Just me But when I was 12 I was in this bright lit ward Both kids wards And at the time of my life I kept having my stomach opened And you know it wasn't the greatest part of it But it it was so much fun A lot of it Apart from there's a couple of moments That were a bit weird One was I wanted to go And because I wasn't allowed to walk anywhere Because of my stomach like the stitches And I literally just had the operation And I wanted to go and get some comics from a box That were threw in the hallway I could have just asked someone to get that for me But you know I was 12 years old I didn't I don't think I was that confident Click my fingers Oi get them for me Yeah well done And so I got up Because I'd watched enough carry-on movies Especially the ones in hospitals And I realized that as long as the nurses Weren't around You could pretty much do whatever you want So when the nurses weren't around I got up and I had a drip and everything So I had to take a drip with me And I was making my way to get some comics to read And suddenly this nurse appeared Almost like I Dream of Jeannie She wasn't dressed like that Otherwise I've been getting out of my bed every 10 minutes But she was you know What are you doing young man I said I was a bit embarrassed About getting the comics Because I kind of thought maybe I'm a bit too old To be reading the dandy and stuff Plus I hadn't lied that day And it was very important to me That I lied at least five times a day So I said I'll just go into the toilet Just one little wee He's making more noise now He's looking at me It's like what's it got to do with you What I've got You just concentrate on your own stuff Alright mate Blimey Every time I order something from the supermarket for mooper eats I always forget to get something And I never remember until afterwards And I still can't remember what it is I need It's not socks It's not toothpaste And I don't know I'll just order it anyway Just order a few little bits Some milk Tobacco Tobacco potato sorry Couple of cakes Oh cakes yeah I haven't really had much cakes recently My tongue still can't Still can't help tongue in my mouth Like tongue in that part of my mouth that You know where the tooth used to be Or more the gum next to it It's very weird It's very uneven Oh so I did today I did This is my second recording So yesterday Can you believe how much noise he's now making again He found this one He'd hidden it somewhere It's like one of those I don't know what you call them but The bony things This is going to be hard to edit All these sounds are going to be in I can't do anything about it really I don't know It's bad but hey So far this week Which is on Monday I did Guilt use discontrol So breaking free from controlling manipulation I did Monday sleepy boring objects Audio recordings That was number 1622 So then yesterday I did silent treatment And emotional punishment Breaking free from control and manipulation Then I did a let me put you to sleep again yesterday Trivia Tuesday Weird things left in taxis And then I did Why manipulation feels addictive Breaking free from control and manipulation again So I've literally done Two a day Including this one This is the sixth one of the week It's not too bad is it Not too shabby Not too shabby Yeah Just get it done I mean the I don't quite know I do know but I've really got into the The new podcast I started I've now done 12 I think 12 episodes And I've got planned for 30 I've already got that planned out But probably can it go up to maybe 100 I might even do 365 Just for the year But I'm not going to plan that far ahead And the other thing I've been doing is Updating my website So if you go to my website on What is it Jason Really I don't know if you agree But this is probably the most noise he's made Just can't stop Right I've just gone to my website And it's saying this store does not exist Okay So my website doesn't exist now That's a bit weird This store does not exist How How is that even possible I literally spent Ages And ages Trying to get my domain name connected And it should be connected In fact it is connected It's jasonnewland.

com Primary So there's no reason for anything else to come up Unless the plan Has been cancelled I hope they didn't do that Why would they do that That's ridiculous So at the moment my website is not on online No It's all all up and running The billing There's a problem loading this page Okay Okay it should open now Billing So okay the last paid 39 Dollars Paid 21st of May 2026 So How long have I been paying for I've been with Spotify Like not the whole time But I first started with Shopify In 2017 The internet's going very slowly Maybe that's why the website didn't come up jasonnewland.

com This store does not exist That doesn't I don't get it I don't I don't get it Let's just search my name Wow So he put in my name into Bing I don't have Google here The first three things all YouTube And it's the old Breaking free from control Okay Go to the website Come on Give me my website Come on Bing Nope This store does not exist It must be some kind of glitch But I don't know what it is I suppose obviously there's a glitch And I guess it's obvious I don't know what it is Because otherwise I'd say what it is That's very strange Very very strange No I don't know what's going on Lucky I checked that wasn't it Mind you I checked it a few hours ago and it was fine Well yesterday And it was fine Maybe it was the day before No I think it was yesterday And it was fine Absolutely fine Yeah But for some reason Yeah I'm confused Very confused No No that makes no sense Oh yeah so I'm on the children's ward I was a child I was 12 Okay And Basically The nurse said Oh hey what are you doing?

Where are you going? You can't be out of bed And I said But I want to do a wee wee Miss She said I said that's Fair enough I said okay I thought she was gonna then help me To the toilet But no Instead she said She grabbed something and said you can do it in here So she grabbed a tube Like a cardboard tube Grey Thick and cardboard And I said what? She said yeah you can do it in here So Other than my I suppose my step mum Who used to Bath me You know when I was like 8 or whatever Don't know what age I stopped Used to being seen in the bath But at 12 years old No other woman Or no nobody really Had ever seen my Wee wee parts And I really didn't want to get it out And she did the whole thing Like oh I've seen it all before So don't be so sure And I distracted her I said oh look there's a bat Pointed behind her And Now I should have done that Before I started But unfortunately I did it while I was going And it spilled everywhere Sprayed all over the next person in the next bed I say sprayed not me but from the cup thing Mine just went on the floor Yeah but it was a really good time That was the only thing that was a little bit weird I think everyone found it a bit strange I think it ruined the party mode For a little bit You know everyone was kind of In a groovy mood Laughing and joking and Listening to music You know the hospital music Or radio The surgeon come round doing magic tricks You know normal stuff And it didn't always ride on an elephant And On this occasion we all just Just had an early night and went to sleep And I kind of burst the bubble a little bit you know Got things back on track the next day Because This is what you do innit Plus we had a new person come in He was He was in a diabetic coma A new kid who's a bit older he's about 14 And He came out of it after about a day That we were kind of like You know just Balancing stuff on his face Like playing cards and stuff So we had it was fun Drawing on him you know things like that Drawing glasses and Writing on his forehead things Just the normal things you would do But We didn't do that But there was a kid that was in a diabetic coma next to me But he came out he's I didn't think I didn't know anything about diabetes at the time And neither did he Because he didn't know he had it So it's Yeah It was a learning thing I can't remember what everyone else was in for I mean I think it was as important to me then as it is now Just like He's still making lots of noise Why can't my website just start coming up I don't understand Oh Nope nothing Anyway that's a distraction So yeah I did Oh my tummy's going rumbly rumbly Rumbly rumbly Was it Wednesday isn't it?

Wow my stomach went again Did you hear that? So much noise My stomach Vinny I remember wow This is When I was a security guard My supervisor he used to just Not pick on me But just give me a bit of a hard time sometimes Because he wanted me to I suppose he wanted me to do the job properly I said if you wanted me to do the job properly If you wanted someone to do the job properly You shouldn't have hired me I had a bit of an attitude back then I was a bit of a cheeky monkey And I don't know if you can hear me over here Over Vinny It's ridiculous But It really is And one of the things they had I remember saying I went in there and they said Oh because you had to be Clean shaven You're allowed to have a beard Or you had to be clean shaven And they had a go at me Because I came in on a Probably a Monday after not shaving for the weekend And they were literally gonna send me home Because I hadn't had a shave I said you can't You can't discipline me for this They said why?

I said because I'm growing a beard And they didn't know what to do with that information Because if you're allowed to have a beard You're therefore allowed to grow a beard So you have to be clean shaven Or have a beard There has to be a I don't know why I'm explaining it in detail You know what that means And they had nowhere to go with it It's like Another time I got told off for chewing gum I was in Canary Wharf And I was just chewing gum in my mouth And the supervisor came up to me and said Are you chewing gum?

And I said to him Look You can control everything Outside of my mouth But anything inside my mouth is my business I control that And he just looked at me like What a weird thing to say But we did quite well I don't know why I mean there was this Insecurity They have these What do they call them? Patrols Patrols Oh I forget what they're called But they basically drive around To different places Where security guards are And just check on them Make sure they're awake Stuff like that Or if someone doesn't turn up They go up and cover for them And I forget the name of them But There was one bloke He'd come along And he was known for being strict You know Really kind of Try and catch you out and stuff But for some reason When he came and visited me He wanted to stop and chat And I would try and like Move him on Saying oh You gotta go now And you gotta go I was like what do you want me to go for?

Do you want to go to sleep? I said no I did But I said no no It's just you know I mean once I had my girlfriend there And the Oh I forget what they were called They had a name for it Um Oh there was a name for it They were like supervisors But they Patrol mobiles Were they called mobiles or something? Anyway I don't know if it's him Or it's the woman But they came And my girlfriend Hides under the desk Because I'm in this reception area It's quite a big reception area And I'm in like a An enclosed reception area as well Lots of glass and Desks and stuff And she's under the desk And I'm sitting there And the woman The mobile I'm gonna call her a mobile That might be the wrong word She didn't normally stop and talk Yeah she was just quite She just wanted to get on with the job But this occasion She wanted to talk And I kept thinking Please don't come in here Please don't come I was like please don't Because she was the other side of the glass And I'd probably get sacked If they saw that my girlfriend was there I don't know Would I?

Anyone? It's hard to know isn't it? Would I get sacked? I don't think I'd win an award I do wonder though Because those places probably had cameras And my girlfriend used to visit me A couple of different places And we sometimes got romantic If she let me And I'd obviously try and stop her Like no no I'm busy I'm working I'm a professional But it didn't always work Oh wow Maybe God imagine if there is cameras No That would explain why I got sacked They made out on this One of the jobs They made out that I'd blocked the toilet Okay I'd blocked the toilet Mind you That was Before that We had some people come in To collect stuff And they took a load of stuff They robbed the place While I was there I didn't know They said they were here to collect some computers And I let them in I let them upstairs And Apparently that was Not the right thing to do Yeah But I said to them You should have let me know If you didn't have anyone coming around To collect the computers Then I wouldn't have let anyone in And they said What do you mean let you know?

So you want us to give you a list of things That are unlikely to happen What list of things that we don't want you to do? Well yeah If you don't want me to do them Do you not realise how ridiculous that is? I'm not sure Why don't you write a list And maybe I'll be able to figure it out He didn't like that I remember I had a disciplinary And it was because of the toilet And I laughed at them I literally laughed at them Because it was so ridiculous And they sacked me Did they sack me?

Oh they did sack me But then they took me on again But I said to them Look I'm in there I think I was there from 3 in the afternoon Half 3 in the afternoon or something Till about 7 in the morning So it was a long shift I think 15 hours or something And The cleaners came in At 6 in the morning I wasn't allowed to leave the desk When the front door was open So I couldn't go to the toilet I wasn't allowed to leave the desk Because I was security Everybody had to sign in As they entered into the building So the cleaners came in And made out That I'd flooded the toilets And I remember Bearing in mind Before I opened the doors Because I did used to do patrols I would always check the toilets To make sure everything was tidy And everything all that Before I opened the front doors And I have my last good luck poo But I'd usually go upstairs anyway I didn't use the downstairs one And I said that to them I said look I don't even use downstairs one They said which one do you use I said I use the manager's private toilet So I had proof That I didn't use the downstairs toilet And block it And for some reason For some reason the manager wanted me sacked That's weird I mean I'm not saying I've never blocked a toilet Because I think nearly everybody has Probably at some point It's not a hobby of mine Not something that I would you know Do on a regular basis But it has occurred And it will occur again So but on this occasion it was not me I think it was one of the cleaners Got called short Had a quick poo And then the toilet got blocked Overflowed And out of her embarrassment She blamed me When actually It could have been anyone Because from six o'clock onwards I'd open the doors And sometimes have like 15-20 people in the building From that time onwards And the cleaners would come in Maybe they'd come in at half five So you know Plenty of bums could have been sitting on toilets During that last hour And I didn't check the toilets before I left Because I was there Until the receptionist got there And then I left And I came home After 15 hours of being there And so they phoned me up saying My company phoned me up saying Yeah you're suspended again So this is the second suspension I had The other one was for drinking At a different place So I ended up getting moved from there Blimey I got moved from a few different sites But this one So it was the second discipline that I'd had And I just laughed This is the first one was for drinking And I said look I don't even drink Which is true At the time And they said Like I had drunk but In 96 I just didn't drink There's no way I'm not gonna drink at work I've never drunk at work in my life Apart from when I was worked in a pub And when I was a hospital porter Ambulance driver Yeah just things like that But other than that I don't No I don't drink And they asked me that at the interview Do you drink alcohol?

I said no Not because I can't I just don't anymore I didn't hardly drink at all in them days And they said well what's in the flask? I said Do you already know what's in the flask? Because I used to take a flask to work with me So After work This is for the first job in the nurses home Well it wasn't the first job It was the first disciplinary I started off in Canary Wharf After a bomb went off I actually had a job interview with the company The insurance The security company And they said no You're not suitable And then I think a Wednesday The following Wednesday a bomb went off in Canary Wharf And the next day or two days later they said Do you still want that job?

So I had nothing to do with the bomb Blimey I was that desperate to be working in security Was I? Come on So I got a job Because they basically put the security up at Canary Wharf There was more security than there was people I'm not saying security and not people But you know what I mean And So that was my first security job Then I got moved to Because the security level went down Security risk went down I moved and I went to a nurses home Which does student nurses And I was there all night long But then When I got home I would When I got up in the morning I would go to the gym And I'd also take As well as food I would take a protein shake with me To work Because I was just trying to get fit I was quite fit back then Not I wasn't heavy But I was Yeah I was working out every day In the gym Around the corner And Every Well not every time But for the first The first couple of weeks Every time the mobiles You know the supervisor Or the main supervisor came around They would say What's in the flask?

So I'd let them sniff it Or I'd pour something out Like You think it's alcohol? First of all If it was an alcohol I wouldn't have it on the desk like that I'd hide it Down my pants And they laughed Thinking I was joking And I said secondly I could smell it on me And it's protein shakes So that I can Keep myself You know Get some Body Muscle growth and stuff During the night So eventually All the people Including some people I worked with Wanted to know what it was Thinking I was drinking on the job A couple were disappointed Because I think they wanted some So when I got called in Being accused of drinking on the job I said to them Look I don't know why I'm here Because they suspended me For I think a week I had the disciplinary And I said to one of the Because it was the company Was owned by two men And I said to one of them And that's the one that I Had a lot of contact with I said You know You damn well know That that wasn't And he said Yeah I know I said Why?

Why are we going through this for? And he said Well we got a big contract With a hospital We just have to go through The procedures really You just have to You know do it There's no way around it But you can't go back Oh wait a minute No I did go back I did go back And then Yes I think something else happened I can't remember what it was I think it's Yeah I got moved anyway I'm not pretending not to know What I did It's a little bit fuzzy This feeling inside That's a little bit Little bit fuzzy It's a long time ago And I didn't necessarily have a Just trying to remember it Anyway Yeah it's the next So when I was in With the second disciplinary Or maybe it was the third I just laughed at him I said it's ridiculous You really think I'm gonna ignore An overflow of a toilet You know I said I know where the buckets And everything is I see where the cleaners Have stuff If there was an overflow Of the toilet I would clean it up I've got nothing else to do all night I said I had loads of cleaning jobs In the past I'm not scared to Do cleaning stuff And they thought I was being arrogant And they sacked me Maybe I was But I just found it ridiculous Just being accused of something that I might have done I can't remember I did No I probably didn't I didn't block the toilet But to block it To cause it to overflow Then that's the toilet's fault isn't it Because toilets are built So they don't overflow So if the toilet overflows It's not doing its job properly Because it's literally got An overflow thing isn't it So the water doesn't go above The rim I think Anyway Although I did have My toilet overflow a few weeks ago Which pretty much Dismisses everything I've just said Maybe I don't know I try and do my best I really am Honest Yeah Then what I did Is I tried to get another job And I did a few really Grotty jobs On an agency And then I called up the people That are getting the insurance Because I keep saying insurance The security company said Can I just come back please And they said yeah alright But you have to behave yourself this time I said really Can't we have a different rule They said no You have to behave yourself I said okay So I had a few more jobs But one was on a The heart there was this Big massive Bit of ground in North London And it was the longest Hospital in Europe If not the world But massive And it was a former psychiatric hospital Or asylum I suppose They'd be called back then Been closed for a long Long long long time Never got to go inside Unfortunately I would have liked to have done I was there mainly during the day Although I did do A couple of night shifts It took ages to get to It was so remote And Yeah I got disciplined from that one as well I got sacked from there But they just moved me somewhere else He accused me of going off site I didn't have a lot of luck really Constantly being accused of stuff That I hadn't done With this Basically this is a Spanish bloke And it's really weird Because I worked with his son at Canary Wharf And his son was horrible Just Not a nice person It might be lovely now But at the time it was just really Argumentative Rude Just really And then I met his dad Who was taking care of this bit of land It's really weird I'm guessing he's probably got his son that job He was even worse than his son Shouting at me Shouting about the security guards They're actually constantly going into one So what I did Because my job was to Well I just had one job I did have a radio on me My job was to patrol the whole ground Which took about an hour to walk around And that's what I did And The bloke there I used to go back every hour Back to the hut But I realised The only thing that was happening at the hut Was him shouting and moaning So what I did is I just decided just I think I spent about five hours out Just patrolling Just going round and round and round And when I got back He accused me of leaving the site and going home And I was like Just yeah Like no If I lived up the road maybe I would have done Which might be the right thing Or the wrong thing to say I don't know but I hadn't done it I did cross the road to get something to eat But it literally was across the road And it's three minutes So Technically I did leave the site But at the same time technically I needed to eat So yeah I lost that one I got kicked off of there And sacked But they didn't actually sack me They told him that they sacked me And then they moved me to The Royal Opera House And the new one Well it's not new anymore But it was the new opera house was being built So I was there Pretty much just every day Five, six days a week Sometimes seven It was alright I mean I didn't learn I learned a few new things I learned a few new things I learned how to back up tracks How to track trucks How to stop traffic Maneuver traffic So that a concrete truck Could back down into the building site All you need with that is just confidence And a high visual visor Whatever they call it Eye Is that what they call it?

You know orange, yellow thing Fluorescent And I quite enjoyed that part of the work Because it was round the corner Actually be one after the other All day long They'd be coming and going Coming and going Hundreds of trucks every day Just concrete And they'd drop it off And then basically go back up the ramp And each one that dropped Didn't look like it was It was like a I don't know how to explain It's like just a tiny little spoonful Of porridge Dropped into a big bowl Obviously you get enough Teaspoonfuls of that And it increases the mass But doesn't look like it's skin anymore But of course it is over time I think that's the job I had Where I just left I'd had enough Back so yeah I didn't I was here during the day as well I preferred night shift But they didn't have night shift On that one Or did they?

If they did Yeah they must have done But I was a night shift I was a night shift I think I was day shift I'm pretty certain I was Also we did security for This is a weird one okay I keep forgetting this We did security for the conservative Some big political conservative meeting And this was Yeah this is when they were still in power And all of that Like everyone was there We had so many guards there And our job was just to protect them I don't know how And there was this big function and everything So that was that was interesting But I met or didn't meet I saw Michael Portillo in person And I seen him on TV And at the time he was like Classed as the potential next prime minister Or at least the leader of the party The Tories And huge man Just a really large man I think he was like ex-SAS or something Just I think the term unit comes to mind Big old fella I think I got to steal some food which is good That's what was a good thing I say steal you know just eat That would have been in London somewhere So I don't know if it was in Westminster Possibly Yeah I don't exactly remember But we were all taken there We had to look smart I was told to leave my flask at home And my donkey So yeah it seemed to go okay Just trying to think of any other places that I worked A betting shop but that was only for one night Or one evening No I can't think of anywhere else Anyway I'm gonna go now Go now Thank you for listening Remember to be kind to yourself Because you deserve to be happy And be gentle with yourself You deserve to feel safe Lots of love Bye