Read along
Complete transcript
Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name is Jason Newland. This is Q&A Friday.
Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. I don't know why that's funny. Um, it's not funny, is it? So yeah, Q&A Friday.
I've got a few questions to answer. The first one will be because I'm also live on TikTok. So be from my Alexa.
That'd be my first question that I answer. So let me just get up the Facebook page so I can see what some of the other questions are. Oh, the internet's gone out.
Brilliant. That's weird. Why would it do that? Well, the first question is AI summary.
AI setting up for a podcast on music and the overnight schedule. Sorry. Hey, Jason, have you stopped doing the overnights with music episode? Is that two different people also? I saw me setting up postcard.
Okay. So what's happened is I made some changes. If you can see Vinnie, he's decided to join.
Oh, there you go. I'll let you look at him while I do this. I started.
Vinnie, what are you doing? I made some changes to my podcasts. Probably two weeks ago. Right, it's gone away.
And what happened is here is the plan. So I've got two websites. I've got my normal website, which is jasonnewland.com. I've got another website, which I've had for quite a while, but I just not really told people about, which is Jason Newland.store, where I'm getting all my recordings together in one place.
Which reminds me, I have to reply to Ben. Ben's asked me a question. I've not replied yet.
I'm sorry, Ben. I think something came up just as I was about to reply to you. Anyway, the internet is still down.
But it's okay on the phone. That's really strange. Unless Facebook's down.
So here's what happened. So I deleted a lot of my podcasts. And I deleted a lot of the episodes on the podcast that were left.
So I left just two podcasts, which was Let Me Breathe Asleep and Hypnosis for Sleeping Deeply. They were the only two podcasts I had left. And then I deleted all the recordings that weren't overnight.
So I was going to have just overnight without music overnight with music. That was what I was going to have. And I need to have something that blocks me from making changes.
Because it was a disaster. Absolute disaster. So in that in the meantime, I was still making recordings last week.
And even the beginning of this week. Hypnosis recordings, Let Me Breathe Asleep ones. And yet hardly any listeners was still getting some a few hundred but very small amount.
And what happened then is I was still uploading my recordings to Jason Newland dot store, thinking that while people still download the stuff from the past, it's not on the podcast. At one point, my normal website went offline for about two days, one and a half days, which is weird. And Hi Mimi Michelle on TikTok.
It all went a bit pants, as they would say 2000. Well, probably about 1999. Everything went a bit pants.
And my idea didn't work out. So I contacted my podcast host and said, please podcast host, can you help me? And they said, What is it, Uncle JJ? And I said, Yes. He's back.
The internet is actually down. But there's no internet. Is it because it's raining? Vinnie? What's up, baby? I don't know.
It might be because it's raining. But why would the rain stop the internet? Has anybody else got their internet down? Broadband? Oh, well. So yeah, hi to those that are in the live.
So yeah, I don't know really kind of, I don't know what to do. So I contacted the podcast host that I have my podcast in. And I said, Is there any chance you can that I can get my podcast back? The ones that I deleted, and you know, therefore the recordings are deleted.
And they said, we'll have a look, see what we can do. And they did have a look. And it took a couple of days, and they were able to get me nine of my podcast back.
But that I had a lot more than that. Hello. I don't know what he's doing.
He's trying to get onto the table. Aren't you Vinnie? Because there's something over there he wants to get. And he ain't gonna get.
Now I can hear a dog in the background. So I suppose really the short answer to your question, or that even I've talked about an hour about it, is no, I haven't stopped doing the overnight ones. I was predominantly only going to do the overnight ones.
But when my podcast host uploaded, put back my recordings, what happened is, what do you want Vinnie? Can you stop it please mate? Be cute. If you're going to be on the podcast, be cute. Don't be all whiny.
Don't be a whiny bum. No, don't be whiny. Be nice and cute.
Be all like, oh daddy, say hello to everybody. Hi everybody. Which is what he does.
That's what you're good at, isn't it? Whining. You're a whiny. Vinnie's a whiny bum.
A whiny, whiny, whiny, whiny bum bum. You've not eaten. Oh, you have eaten your dinner.
Wow, you're a good girl. So the internet's still down. This is really weird.
It doesn't normally go down. And it's saying that it's up, but it's clearly not up. So I disconnect and then reconnect again.
See if that does it. So I can get back on. I want to have a look at the podcasts.
So re-uploaded. Is it uploaded? Is it done now? Okay. Right, I'm back.
So let me just have a look at the podcasts. It uploaded 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. I had. Oh, all right.
No, what I've done, so here's what I've done anyway, is I have re-uploaded the other recordings that I deleted from the Hypnosis of Sleeping Deeply and the Let Me Boyd Asleep. So at the moment, it looks like it's just short voice, short voice, long music, short music, long, short, long, short, but no overnight ones. But there are still, all the old overnight ones are still there.
I'm now in the process of changing the dates to make them go back further so that the most latest ones are at the top of the pile, which is going to take me a few hours if not a couple of days to do so. But all the recordings are still there, just a little bit of scrolling. I mean, on my website, it probably hasn't even updated.
Let's have a look. So I've not changed it to update. Oh, it has updated.
Oh, it has. Wow, I didn't think it would do. So the latest one on there is short voice only Q&A Friday.
Short voice only Q&A Friday. Oh, wow. Okay.
I didn't think it would have updated. So it has. So that's what I'm doing.
It will be all sorted. I did Let Me Boyd Asleep last night. And I think that's pretty much done.
Is it done? Let me have a look. That should be kind of updated. And let's have a look.
Nearly there, nearly there. Right, second of March overnight. Yeah, it's 123.
Okay. 12345. It's not completely updated because I didn't make six recordings for all of the latest recordings.
So I have to go and make some shorter ones. Rudder Swiss, can we get short voice only without overnight, please? You can. I'm going back to the six recordings.
One without one without music short. Although short can be like an hour. So you know, but short recording.
So it's I might just go back to just Yeah, long would be like five hours, 10 would be like overnight. So without music with music, three different versions, short, long overnight. And with the Let Me Boyd Asleep recordings, I don't do anything short, short.
But some of the hypnosis recordings I will do, sometimes they're 20 minutes, sometimes they're like 40 minutes. So for me, that's short. I know for a lot of people are not be short, but most of what I do is very much long form.
But thank you. I can't read your name. Sorry, Rudster Swiss.
I've done it like that for a few years now. And the six different versions. I don't know why I just thought I'd do something different.
And I just to just do the long ones, the overnight ones. But I wish someone could tell me why Vinnie's hassling me. He's staring at me.
You can't see him. If I move the camera around there. He's just staring at me.
That's it. Look. It's like Eddie from Frasier.
We're the same dog. He's a Jack Russell. So exactly the same dog.
But what are you doing? I don't know what he wants. I don't know what you want. Get kisses.
Get kisses. Oh, so the secret is when you get a kiss from a dog is just to try and blank out what you've seen him do it earlier in the day. So yeah, it is all going to be sorted out.
It will all be sorted out soon. It's just it's a it's a kind of a very time consuming operation as it were. But I'm in the process of doing it.
And when it's finished, we'll just go back to normal. Because as soon as I started uploading back the shorter stuff, as well as the you know, my stats started going up. And I know it's like it's not.
What on earth am I doing here? Okay, right. I know stats isn't everything. Not all.
Yeah. It's not all about the stats. Adorable invites you to co host.
I'm sorry, I'm doing my podcast so I can only do this. And there's no point me making podcasts if there's no one listening. Ultimately, it's you know, and I'll give you an example how bad it got.
I had one day where I had 204 listens. 204 which is it's like really bad. It's just like wow.
204 and it's Yeah, so now the stats yesterday, I mean, they're going to be a bit more because I uploaded quite a few. But it's now today as well, it's now kind of gone back to normal kind of size stats, which is good. If I don't get over 1000 downloads a day, I'm not I'm not happy really.
So another thing that I've had with the down with the making podcast is the dog over the fence. And it stopped me from making hypnosis recordings this week. Because it's going the whole time during the day.
From morning to night. It's not going at the moment because it's raining outside. But it's just been barking.
It's a lovely dog. See, I'm not hating on the dog, but the noise that comes out of it. And it's been going and going and going and going and going to the point where it's been no point me even attempting to do a hypnosis recording.
I thought I heard it in. See, yeah. So that's where I'm with that.
I can do a Let Me Bore You To Sleep with it in the background faintly, kind of I mean, if I choose if I don't, if I wait for it to stop, then I will never make any recordings. Or I'll have to wait until late at night or do it really, really early in the morning, you know, before seven, which isn't really ideal for me. The first thing in the morning, I'm not really up to much.
My brain's not really working. And late at night, I've taken my medication and I'm tired. I'm a little bit groggy.
My best time is kind of early afternoon to make recordings. So I'm gonna have to figure a way around that. I mean, it's currently just before 6pm.
So it's late afternoon. And I've been working on the organizing the podcasts for the last few days, actually, because the last recording I did was was it the second? So four days, but I think it was Monday. Was that Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, four days ago.
So I've also been intermittently, you know, just looking at the, the worldly ongoings as well. So yeah, that's answering that question. I should hopefully the internet's working now.
I should be able to get. Whoa. Okay, so it's whenever I come on here.
MSN is on here and it's got all these stories. And it just gets a little bit. It can drag you in, drag you in, like, just some random pointless story.
And then before I know it, I'm spent way too long there. Right? Ben, I'm going to reply to Ben, how, how big a download is all of them going to be a hard drive for all your recordings, but don't have a clue on what size. Hi, Ben.
So I don't know. I wasn't sure if that was for for the Q&A Friday. So I'll be honest, I don't know.
All of my recordings. The standard recording. So if I do a recording, it's like an hour without any music or with just with music either is about 20 or 30 gigabytes.
Let's have a look. I can just look for myself. Actually, I've got I've got so many uploaded on my store.
Let me bore you know, Jason Newland dot store. So if I look at the number 1566, that's the last one I uploaded there. And I have a look at the digital file on there.
It is all so if you get one is overnight, so you get a 10 hour one is 287 megabytes. If I go back a little bit, because the first 1000 Well, most of the recordings I've done, I've uploaded have been in just the shorter ones. So let's have a look.
Nope, not that one. What are you doing? Why? If you keep whining, you're going into the bedroom. Such a whiner.
Right, okay. 1303. So so this would be just a one hour one or like normal length.
Short. No, it's 280 megabytes. That's weird.
Hmm, that is weird. Why is this? If I go back even further, let's have a look. Let me bore you.
Because some of my because some of the recordings are like three hours long. Not many, but there's a few, something like two and a half to the majority are probably about one and a half hours for the Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Don't ask me why, just the way it seems to have worked out.
When I started out, they were only about 40 minutes, 50 minutes. Then something went wrong. This is strange.
So I've got one with no music 184 megabytes. And this is mp3. 184 megabytes just for one recording.
I don't know why it's so Oh, it's a zip file. Is it a zip file? It might be a zip file. That's why.
No, it's not a zip file. For go to. No, it's not.
How strange. If I go to download it, let's see if I can. No, go down more actions.
Download, download, download, download, share. Download, duplicate. That's very strange.
The host discusses podcast recordings and the sizes. Ask about storage needs. That's really strange.
Oh, okay. So I've got here one here. This is 231 deep sleep whisper.
Usually they're about 20 minutes long. This is 20 megabytes. Basically, the biggest file audio file you're ever going to get from me as far as recordings is going to be under 300 megabytes, because my audio software does not edit above that.
And my podcast software will not allow a recording. I think they won't allow anything above that to be uploaded. And it won't allow anything over 10 hours to be uploaded either.
So, you know, I'm stuck at the probably 280, 290 megabytes. I try and keep it well below just to, you know, make sure. So if you work that out.
At the very most, each recording will be 280 megabytes. Now, if it's in a zip file, which some of them are some, I might maybe try and do all of them like that, which means you get all six versions in one zip file, then it's going to be probably a couple of gigabytes. And what if you do do six by three, three, six, nine, 12.
So it's 1800, let's say 1000. So you say 1700 megabytes, which is, you know, not far off the two gigabyte or 1.7 gigabyte. So it is a lot.
If you wanted, in fact, wait a second, I've got collections, where I've put um, I've got collections, where are they? Let Me Bore You To Sleep bulk downloads. I've not shared these, but I used to share them. Wow.
I didn't realize I had so many done. So I've got them in. Blimey.
I've got them in 50s. And I go all the way up to 1100. So blimey, that's quite a few, isn't it? I didn't realize I'd done that many.
So if I click on there, and this is bulk downloads. So this is, let's say 1051. I had to change it because some of the recordings were so large.
So if I go back, I don't have 50 in all of them. But do have 50 on the early ones. So for example, 451 to 500.
Let Me Bore You To Sleep. The download is, it has to be under five meg, five gigabytes, because the jsonooland.store, it can't hold more than five gigabytes per file that they sell. Well, we're not selling any, but you can download.
So this one, which is 50 recordings, is three gigabytes. So if you go 50 gigabytes, so say six gigabytes per 100 recordings for the smaller ones, but some of the longer recordings going to take more. So yeah.
So the minimum, if we go the minimum, six gigabytes per 100, let me boy to sleeps. Without music. And I've got 1500 and I don't know whatever.
So you'd need one to fit 100 1000. So you'd need 60 gigabytes, which is not that much really. It's so you could hold 1000 of my recordings for 60 gigabytes.
And it's not that much. So I think if you got a, if you really wanted everything, probably a couple of terabytes storage would probably cover it. But if I'm going to reply just quickly, 1000 recordings, if it's less than 100 recordings, recordings, equal really equals six mega six gigabytes.
Roughly 100 recordings equals six gigabytes. So 1060 2000. I've got about 2000 3000 recordings, but that's not with all the duplicates of the different sizes and those with music, those without music 10 hours, whatever.
So in reality, I probably have 1010 terabytes, probably possibly about 1089 10 terabytes. Maybe I don't know, it's hard to keep track to be honest. But you'd need a lot.
You'd need probably four terabytes to have everything. Probably more actually, because I've got, I've got three hard drives. One really old one, that's got videos on it.
So like old YouTube videos, another one that's got hypnosis recordings and I've got another one that's got and I get muddled up, they were organized, but they're not now. And I dropped one so it doesn't seem to be working very well. But that seems to be the case, I would say two to four gigabyte a terabyte rather hard drive external hard drive, which would hold a lot.
And the thing is, one of one of the problems I've got, apart from being too handsome, is going forward. The only way I'm going to be able to make any kind of a living or even covered my costs on here, which is probably a good couple of hundred quid a month. So the only way I'm going to cover my costs is by selling recordings by having the store is a like a place that you can buy recordings in the future.
Because I can't have adverts on my podcasts. Because I own you, they don't allow me to just have put adverts at the beginning, have to have adverts in the middle as well. I can tell you where the ones at the end, I can tell you where the ones at the beginning, but I have to have ones in the middle, which completely ruins it.
Like absolutely ruins the whole thing. You know, can't have a hypnosis recording. And then adverts like, you know, halfway through, can't do it.
And YouTube is exactly the same. YouTube are kind of adverts. It has to be adverts, you can have them at the beginning, but you also have to have them at the end.
Which is no good if it's a short recording. You know, it's okay if it's a short recording for the beginning. But if it's like half an hour, an hour, and in the end, you got loud adverts, that's just no good.
And so I'm kind of, I've got nothing I can really do there. Really. So I'm just gonna put in, Ben, you've just replied while I'm doing a recording.
So I'm gonna put, I reckon, I don't know what to say to, I can't, it's hard to work out. Because I don't have individual, wait a minute, let's see what I can do. Let's plug this in and see.
So I've got two hard drives. I'm gonna, they're connected, I'll just plug them in and just see how much room is being taken. But then quite a lot of room has been taken by videos, because they're huge, take a huge amount of time, huge amount of space, you know, sometimes 30, 40 gigabytes, if not more.
So let's have a look at the space on the gigabyte. Okay, if I go into the PC, okay, okay. So I have the two hard drives I have.
One is a five terabytes. And one is just over nine. Well, basically, I've got 6.11 terabytes, free of nine, nine terabytes.
37.9 gigabytes free of 4.54 terabytes. So that would be some pretty much full there. 6.11 terabytes of a nine, so nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 13 terabytes.
So I'm used for 5678. Wow. You should be all right with four or five terabyte, maybe six terabytes.
But if you depends what you want to do, if you want to download everything, you can start your own company. And when I go and start selling my stuff, you could underprice me. Yeah, so all my stuff on one of them, let's have a look what's on one.
It's because there's a lot of repetition, you know, if I've got bulk, so I've added the bulk ones, the zip files on separate, but they're on the same in the same hard drive. So I've got all ASMR, Let Me Bore You To Sleep, all bedtime story time, or chronic pain or deep sleep, whisper hypnosis, or relax and sleep hypnosis daily, or sleeping boring objects, or stop smoking, or stress and pain relief, or stress anxiety for panic attacks.
But then I've got random stuff as well.
Individual things, recordings of just Yeah, blimey. YouTube videos. Wow.
And that actually taken quite a lot of time. That's 215 gigabytes. So that's something you wouldn't need.
Or something also that wouldn't be available as well. Random stuff. There I look.
It's really sad. Even my random stuff is boring. Nothing interesting to look at.
Not one interesting picture to look at. It's ridiculous. Images.
Oh, I wonder what's on there. Or pictures of me. This is pictures of me from videos.
Pictures of Vinnie, a picture of a banana on a beach. Yeah, just images from my podcasts and videos. Ridiculous.
Nothing interesting. Not one. I mean, how many how many pictures are there? How many images do I have here? So 1.5 gigabytes.
Let's have a look at the properties. 1.5 gigabytes. 956 pictures.
And they're all boring. Really? I mean, tediously. It's just pictures of me.
It's got to be some. No, it's just podcast pictures. MySpace.
Okay, that's just a standard thing. Picture of me of Andre. That's not boring.
Picture of Vinnie. Yeah. So there's that.
Of course. I mean, what is that 1000 images? 1.51. So one and a half gigabytes for that. Yeah.
So I've also got the Let Me Bore You To Sleep broken into 50 to 100, 100 to 100 and 100. Do you know what I mean? Like that in the 50s. That sounded like I couldn't do the maths, didn't it? Like 50, zero to 100.
51 to 100. 101 to 150. I can.
I just couldn't be bothered to. What's in there? 14th of June. It's got to be something juicy if it's got a date in it.
Nothing. Or what? Let Me Bore You To Sleep text. Oh, okay.
So this is transcripts from the different recordings. I was going to try write my, my what's it my life story. My life because I'm old.
See, I'm old enough to have a life story now. And I thought if I went through the transcripts of my over 1000 recordings, there's got to be something in there that's mildly, mildly interesting, just mildly enough to take a little bit out of each one. And then, you know, orchestrate into a book, a readable kind of book.
And I looked, and I looked. And sometimes, as maybe some of us all know, is just by looking at something doesn't make it grow, doesn't make it become bigger. There's I just couldn't find anything.
It's so muddled. The way that I present my podcasts. It's not lineal.
It's there, there, there, there, there. And even AI can't look at this transcript and find anything. Because I tried I think I've used AI just can you find me some bits out of it? And like it just the computer just fizzes and said, you know, it just it doesn't do that.
But it's what's this ago? That's weird. That's very strange. Really? Blimey.
I don't know what that was. Yeah. dddd.
I'm finding stuff that doesn't even jpg files, nothing's coming up. I'm just finding stuff that doesn't. It doesn't even make sense.
I don't know what it is. The winding down, sleep hypnosis, music, no music. Frogtopia.
Wow. I don't know. So many different recordings.
So many. There's kind of difficult to really keep track of it all. And it's kind of I don't know.
Oh, in response to my answer, I'm supposed to be answering the bin, I reckon. What? Okay, so I reckon two terabyte should be enough. Be enough.
Let's work it out. So 300 megabytes time by 300 megabytes times by 10. Is 3000.
So three to three gigabytes. I got that wrong, didn't I? It's not six. I'm not talking about.
So 1020. So three, three. Honestly, in my brain, okay.
300 megabytes times by 10 is 3000 megabytes, which is three gigabytes. So that's 100. 100 recordings will be three gigabytes, which means 1000.
So 10 times that. No, three gig. 10.
Okay, so three gigabytes, 30 to 10. 10 recordings will be three gigabytes, three gigabytes. 100 recordings would be 30 gigabytes.
So 1000 would be 300 gigabytes. So I'd say two, I reckon two gigabytes will be enough to make two terabytes would be enough for most of the Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Yeah, okay.
That's that done. So don't bark, please, Vinnie. Please don't bark.
Please. So all I've ever wanted videos for you to be quiet. I was here the other day.
I think it's Monday. And Vinnie was around his mummies. And it was so peaceful here.
Sorry, Ben, I'm trying to answer your questions on here while I'm making a recording. I'm not doing a very good job. So I'm going to have to answer you back.
So the questions I've got from my Jason Newland's boring group for Q&A Friday. Why is that car making so much noise? The first question is from Maria. How do you think you'd fare if you were stranded on a desert island? What three things would you take with you? Plus a desert island disc of all time? Vinnie would be with you, of course.
Thank you. Are you ruined? I don't want Vinnie with me. What would he do? All he would do if I got into this island, right? The first thing I need to do is keep safe.
Which meant being quiet. With him, all it would be would be noise. So within about a minute of me being on the island, and we say a desert, a desert, a desert island, even deserted islands, a desert island is still got people inhabited.
They always have someone in the in the forest somewhere, don't they? Or in the jungle come out. So they will all be notified because Vinnie will be barking. And any hungry animals will also be notified because Vinnie will be barking.
And so I would not be safe with him. Because let's face it, he's not. I'm sorry, Vinnie, I'm not being cruel.
It's factual though. I mean, it's just, it's so loud. So he doesn't know how to keep quiet.
Do you? We're never gonna have to do it. But let's pretend it's a nice, friendly, deserted island. And we have lots of food and drink.
And there's no reason to be worried. There's no, no animals that want to do any things. Everyone's happy.
And you love everyone. Yeah. And everyone loves Vinnie.
Okay, so Vinnie's with me. We stare at that. I don't know.
What three? To be fair, I'm going to be a little bit pedantic here. I don't think anyone stranded on a desert island has everything they need. You never see that Robinson Crusoe or the any of the movies, or what's his name? Tom Hanks with his football.
And you never see him stranded and like, oh, wait a minute, let me find my bag of the three things that I chose to bring with me in case I got stranded. No one does today. Other than maybe a first aid kit, but and a flare and a stick to you know, write help or SAS on the sand.
I mean, it'd be good to be that prepared. But you know, I think, well, yeah, I like one of my favourite albums ever was I love the Elvis Christmas album. But where are you going to play it? There's no internet.
I know I'm picking this apart. I know. But the chances are there's not going to be very good internet signal.
Because if there was you'd just be phoning for help, wouldn't you? Just like, I've only got a little bit only got 3040 seconds, maybe a minute and a half left of battery left. And then I'm stranded. I won't phone for help.
I'm gonna play zombie from the cranberries. zombie zombie zombie. Oh, what do I do now? I don't know.
It's kind of that situation is like if you stuck somewhere and all you had you just got this one album you can listen to over and over again. Or because you get sick of it, wouldn't you? I know I would. I mean, probably the only album that I would have listened to for 40 years.
Listen to it in the summer sometimes is the Elvis Presley Christmas album. I've been listening to that since the late 80s. I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the one I used to know.
I know that sounds a bit like Bing Crosby, but it didn't sound like anyone did it? No, just sound like me. I'm dreaming of a white Christmas. I mean, if I knew beforehand, so this is something I'm gonna get and I'm using this beforehand.
Then I would have a gun. Definitely have a gun. Definitely have a boat.
I'll have a boat. Give me a boat. Yeah, I have a boat.
Like a big ship or yacht. I'll have a yacht. That'll be the thing I'll take with me.
One of the things. In fact, you can keep all the other stuff. I'll just take that one thing, just a yacht.
You can leave Vinnie at home. I don't need Vinnie. If I've got a yacht, I can see it.
I can get back and see him then. Yeah, something useful like a yacht. First aid kit.
All the stuff that you need really. Just a yacht full of food that will last me for a couple of months. In order to get to the nearest next country.
Yeah, that's what I do. What three things? Yes, that's what I said. Everyone understood the desert island thing.
And, you know, what three things would you take? Well, I want to take something that's going to help me get off the island. Or something that's going to protect me while I'm on the island. So, a magic hat.
Where I can just, you know, pull out food when I needed it. Or go to the toilet in it and just everything disappeared. Mind you, I don't think I want the same hat.
You wouldn't really want the same hat for both those things, would you? No. You know, recently, I remember being in school. I have very, very vague memories of being in school.
And I remember reading, and this is probably very early in my life, I read a proverb of, and it's kind of like a, it's just another version of the three pigs. Right. TikToks, trying to kick me off if I don't change the.
Okay, right. There's a proverb in, I think it was in the Bible. But it's just another version of the, it's copied from the three pigs.
And ultimately, you know, the pig makes it's, it's a similar thing. So someone builds their house on sand, then they build their house on something else that's equally as soft a bit, maybe wood or whatever. And then they build it on concrete.
So I don't remember the exact proverb. And the one on concrete is the best one. So you don't build a house on sand and expect it to, you don't build anything on sand.
Okay. And then you got the three pigs, the house built with, I don't know, paper, the other house built from straw, I think it was, then you had the house built from bricks. So I said this, the biblical parable copied off of the three pigs.
And Vinnie's up again, trying to get onto the table. I don't know why he's doing this. He doesn't normally climb onto the table.
Whoops. Doesn't normally do that. I know he is cute, isn't he? He's a cutie.
You're a cutie kabootie. Yes, you are. So yeah, I think I'd want a boat, a ship, like a yacht.
I would say a plane. But I don't know how to fly a plane. But then I don't know how to, how to fly a yacht either.
But I imagine at least with a yacht, you steer, I'm guessing. I know there's like more technical terms and engineering and know how to like use the stuff. I don't know, the throttle or whatever.
But with a plane, it's just for me, the planes, planes are not really difficult. It's just the taking off and the landing bit. That's probably the bit that would be a little bit.
Yeah, if you could avoid that, I'd probably be happy to fly a plane. Not that I'd know how to, but you know, learn to. He's not disturbing, is it? Can you believe it? I've been not being able to make a recording pretty much all week because of the worry of being disturbed by a dog.
And when I do eventually make a recording, I'm being disturbed by my dog. There you go. Now he's eating his dinner, so he's not hungry.
Well, you might be hungry, but you're not hungry, hungry. You're not hungry, hungry, hungry, are you? Come on. You might be a little bit peckish.
It's just because you haven't had any T-R-E-E-E-E-T-E-S-S-S-S-S-S. If I was going to take one, that's another thing. You're taking a desert island disc.
I mean, taking an album, bearing in mind this desert island disc, whatever thing, has been going on for about 60 years or 50 years. So everyone had albums back then. It'd be no point taking it if you didn't have a record player.
See, that'd have to be something, you know, you'd need. And how are you going to get that? How are you going to plug it in? What are you going to plug it into? Spare socks. Oh, I don't like wet socks, do you? That's something that I'd only have to kind of.
Yeah, I'd need to work on that one. I don't know. I'm not a big fan of wet socks.
Why are you hassling me, Vinnie? Please, mate. We went out today early and he just... I'm putting that set back where it was before. That way you can't get to me.
Because now you can't really see. If I put this down, you'll be able to see him. That's it.
He's literally practically on my lap. I don't know why. Cute dog.
Thanks, Sally. I'm not really sure what he wants. So, yeah, Maria, I think.
Yeah, that, I think a yacht. And. Depends how long I was staying there for.
So I'd need something to probably a sun shader. Do they call it a windbreaker or a sun, you know, something just to cover me from the sun? Because I don't look. I'm pink all year round.
I'm pink in the winter. My skin doesn't, you know, I've got pink skin. I don't do well in the sun.
You've got water down there. You haven't got food, but. You can't be that hungry, Vinnie.
Come on. He's a Wally. I don't know why he's being like this.
He's not normally like this, are you? Not normally. You're usually pretty good. You got something going on with you today, haven't you? He's been a little bit restless today.
We went out for a walk. This said the war. I said that word, didn't I? Shouldn't have said that word.
I'm not going out in that weather, Vinnie. If we go downstairs, I'll let you in the garden, but I'll hold the lead and you'll have to just go in there in the garden on your own. I'm not getting wet.
You've been out twice already. I'm not going, I'm not getting wet. So we've been out for three, two walks already.
And the first one, he. It was in the last one was only a couple of hours ago, if that. Wasn't long ago, was it? See, I know if he needs to go out because he stands at the door.
What he's after now is some food that I had and it's over there. I have to keep it away from him because it's got bones in it. And they're little bones that he's not, you can't really have.
All that time, I wanted him to sort of be part of the podcast and have him like on my lap and, you know. And now he is, he just whines. You do an impression of a cat.
I met the lady. I met the. I'll rewind that.
I met. The cats that live in this building. So there's five cats live in this one building.
Now, I met two of them. I met the other three the other day. And.
One of them keeps coming upstairs. So when the door is opened, they'll run upstairs and try and get into my flat. And then Vinnie will bark.
Well, sometimes he doesn't hear it because we're in bed. And I see it on the camera the next day. But as they're trying to, they want to come and say hello to you, don't they? I think if he was left, not left alone, but if he was.
Regularly around a cat, I think he'd be OK with them. He'd chase them and play, but I don't think he'd be horrible. Because he's kind of a bit scared of a cat, aren't you? A little bit scared, but you're intrigued at the same time.
He's basically just. You're just like an average male, aren't you? You're scared and intrigued. At the opposite sex.
You're not sure. You're scared to say hello to them, but you do want to say hello to them, don't you anyway? But you're worried about getting scratched. So.
He wants your food. Oh, 100% fly with subs. It's over there.
It's like on the table, the other table that's next to this. Then your whining is not going to be any good. No.
Does it smell that good? I can't I can't reach it. I don't know where it is. See if I can get some little bits off of it.
There you go. Is that a bone? No. There you go.
So, I mean, he wants that and he can't have that because the bone is too small. If it gets stuck in his throat, it's not good. Mind you, I thought that like a small bone, considering he's a tiny little dog, would be all right, but I've been told that that's not the case.
I don't want anything. All right, there you go. He loves some gristle, but he's not having a bone.
Oh, he's happy now. Get up. I'm not passing it to you.
Get up and get it. There you go. Come on.
No. No, it's on here. He wants me to do all the work.
No, Vinnie, I'm not doing all the work. No, I'm not. Yeah, we got up this morning, so I took him out.
I think I took him out too early and we got to the park. I think he'd done a wee wee and then he's like, no, I'm coming home. Didn't want to be out.
So, yeah, yeah, 100% he wants the food, but I've got to be careful. I'm not willing to, I'm not willing for him to have anything. Although to be fair, once he did go onto the table and he got it all and he just ate everything.
But I came, I woke up to that. He did it during the night and I didn't, I didn't leave it out for him. He just, I'm just seeing if that's bone or is that gristle.
That's that's bone that is not having that. No, he's trying to get any bit of bone he's trying to get. I can't believe I'm doing this.
There you go. There you go, look. And what's the next question? What are your top five albums of all time? I don't think I've really answered Maria's question very well, but this, this next question kind of fits in, doesn't it? Like with Desert Island Discs and stuff and regarding my albums.
I've been thinking about this. Now I'm going to mention an album that probably nobody has ever heard of, including me, because I can't remember the name of the album. But it's a Baron Nights, I think it's called Night of Laughter, but it's the Baron Nights.
And I had this album when I was a kid, like probably. Well, a kid, like 10. And no, stay there, I've opened a can of, oh man, I've got, what's that? Take that, go and go and eat the paper.
Let's have a look. So the Baron Nights, what they was, is they used to, do like, they'd take a, like a famous song and then they'd turn it into comedy. And they'd like make a comedy song out of it.
Oprah Winfrey, why is she in the news? Oh, they're talking about how slim she looks. That, to be fair, I'll take that as news. It's better than the other news, isn't it at the moment? Go away, please, go away.
So what am I doing? Baron Nights, Baron Nights albums. Baron Nights albums. See, I remember, oh, here it is, the Baron Nights, it is, I used to have it.
The Nights of Laughter, what did I say? Did I say Nights of Laughter? Or Days of Laughter? Nights of Laughter. It's spelled with a K-N-I-G-H-T-S. Brilliant, absolutely brilliant album.
And it, I mean, some of those songs, I think there was one like, Green knickers hanging on the line. Then there's another one, I'm a nut, I'm a nut, and I don't get very minor. And I'm not doing it justice.
Then there's the one, A Ballad of Frank Spencer. Hey, Frank, keep away from here. Something's bound to go wrong.
Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. And I got a cold in my nose, ah, and battered toes, ah, do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. And it's, I'm not really selling it very well.
Anyway, it's my favourite album. And I don't know why. I bought it again when I was probably 29 30 and I used to listen to it and it has okay I'll let you see him it has such a there's an emotional thing as an emotional connection with me I think maybe it's like the humor I mean it's probably it's very old humor and it's maybe no one listening to it now would find it funny I just loved it so it's like probably nine nine years old when I first got it and yeah yeah so it's a brown cover and it's
not I mean it is music but it's not like you know if I was gonna go for my number one album ever again I'd probably go for the Christmas Elvis Christmas album I probably have to go for that because is again that's it's a feeling thing yes it's kind of it's the emotional connection I have to the album it's nothing to do with religion or anything it's just I was almost indoctrinated into Elvis I mean some ways Elvis was a religion to a lot of people and you might think that's
you can't say that well firstly I just did secondly I've known people that were obsessed with Elvis including my oldest brother and in fact we had some family friends I used to go around their house and they literally had albums like gold records in frames on every wall Elvis being played all day long the husband had like a haircut like Elvis and you know they were just yeah I think he had sure he had a one of his fingers missing I don't know why I remember that but they were lovely
they well used to welcome us into their home and give us drinks cups of tea and stuff I think my parents knew them there you go but they loved Elvis but they're not the first people that have got together because of a love of a singer that I know of and there's a couple called Nat and Dean and they met on a I mean this is blimey I don't know middle 80s they met on some kind of dating magazine or something and they both loved the Beatles both loved the Beatles
so they got together over that and they ended up getting married and having lots of kids and ultimately they've been together forever they're still together I mean that's they've been together for but they were married when I met them and that was 1989 and they've been together quite a long time before that as far as I know.
Do you want some gristle? Do you want some gristle? I'll take the bone out. Do you want some gristle? No. This is horrible my hands are getting all greasy yeah I can't believe I was eating this last night but that's why I say think you know when you're in the toilet and then the next day that's the result of something going in my mouth so the top five albums right off the top of my head and cranberries is it there's no need to argue anymore I'm pretty sure that's the name of the song it might oh we just got a bit of gristle.
There's no need to argue anymore I think that's the name of the album but it's the one it's one that's got zombie on it and it was their biggest album they basically had two big albums one was big and the second one was huge huge it's the second one that I loved the most if you're going for a Beatles album I suppose I'd go for Sgt Pepper it's quite predictable really isn't it other albums five is hard but one would be a Michael Jackson probably go for bad if I had
to choose just one Michael Jackson album it'd be bad second of his albums would probably be off the wall third dangerous so this I go for bad for Stevie for him Michael Jackson Stevie Wonder probably in square circle that's the one where he sings I think he sings I just called her say I love you I think but I do love hotter than July as well if I probably prefer hotter than July but in square circles got part-time lover do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do um now i've chosen too many it's all men so far
isn't it apart from the cranberries i might go over five but i'm gonna choose madonna the only two albums that i loved of madonna i like the first two albums she did and then i really loved true blue but i loved even more like a prayer so if i had to choose between the two of them i'd choose like a prayer and then i choose elvis fresley's greatest hits as well that might be over five um hmm i don't know oh there's no need to argue anymore welcome to strange ways
by the smiths possibly as well but yeah i can't i don't can't think of any others i will do when i finish this recording i'll be like what about postman pat's greatest hits like um what about barbie girl the soundtrack to barbie girl the movie oh i forgot that one um i don't know not sure i do like the greatest hits of uh westlife this might sound weird but i do like listening to that but i do like listening to classical music as well can i not just take amazon or
spotify prescription prescription um with me top five albums of all time so definitely the baron knights definitely christmas album from elvis like a prayer madonna that's three and yeah tennis friend derby four five is not enough the thing is in reality right even though i love the baron knights i wouldn't listen to it i'd listen to it sometimes but it's a comfort listen in some ways no more than listening to some nursery rhymes just to kind of self hug or something you know um hey frank keep away from here let's
see if i if i lose if i leave that one out then i go for my my favorite singers my five favorite singers whitney houston stevie wonder michael jackson madonna as far as the album so yeah so if i go for madonna like a prayer michael jackson bad stevie wonder hotter than july i'm gonna go for hotter than july because i do prefer that album over in square circle the cranberries there's no need to argue i'd have to have the cranberries in there and then the christmas album elvis so yeah
i've chosen my five but i do want whitney houston in there as well i've got to keep elvis christmas album i might drop the cranberries so if i've really got to really kind of get it down so elvis presley christmas album that has to be in there because that is my one of my most listened to albums ever all year round don't tell anyone because that's really weird archie's saying please what's archie saying hello hello archie that's on tiktok hello mate um so i'll definitely keep the elvis presley christmas album
and then like a prayer madonna bad michael jackson whitney houston's first album so these are albums that i've listened to over and over and over and over and over and over again for years and years and years and years and years so yeah whitney houston michael jackson bad i take all my michael jackson's albums because i like all of them but so michael jackson stevie wonder in square circle so elvis's christmas one michael jackson bad stevie wonder in square no ear hotter than july madonna like a prayer and the fifth
one um sergeant peppers maybe sergeant peppers so it's weird isn't it so i got whitney houston so i got whitney houston madonna elvis stevie wonder and michael jackson it's almost like a bit of a cliche isn't it sort of just gone for the five of the most famous singers of all time but that's not the reason i haven't got the beatles in there but i listened if i have to choose between michael jackson the beatles i'd choose michael jackson if it's just like the one album situation also the beatles i
didn't like every album that the beatles did i like songs on every album but just not all the songs on every album michael jackson didn't do a dud album as far as i'm concerned when he was a kid or when he was an adult i still listen to ben the two of us need look no more that one i listen to that one day in your life um yeah so that's i think that's the ones i choose elvis christmas album madonna like a prayer whitney houston i think it was just
called whitney houston wasn't it the first album she had stevie wonder hotter than july and michael jackson bad that's it my five and thanks hope reveal asks me what's your favorite color and why probably that color on the wall blue blue and yellow i quite like pink not not the pink of my face but i don't mind a bit of pink but i'll probably go for blue blue and yellow so equally really yeah quite like blue i think blue is fairly relaxing and yellow is fairly relaxing as well yeah what
is it vinnie i think it's that's why because it's relaxing i think it's because when i was a kid when i was about nine about nine years old when we moved into this house we had uh it was yellow and blue i think some of the walls were blue some were yellow and it's just bright it's nice it's happy it's it's a nice color for me personally i like it it's quite a nice background actually i know it's the same old background every time but he's still staring at me he's
still staring at me um so yeah yeah i think blue and yellow that'd be it it's quite a boring color choice i don't go in for all the different colors as well i'm just into the base colors once you start going for like mauve no purple mauve no beige what's kind of yellowy white isn't it like that just gets confusing for me so i'll just go for yellow and blue light yellow light blue so not dark blue the blue that's kind of on my wall and the yellow that's not on
my wall just a light i quite like pastel colors i mean this isn't necessarily pastel it's pastely ish pastely ish yeah good night fly fly fly whiz i can't see the name sorry fly goodbye good night thanks for watching so that's it that's all my questions answered there was only three but i did have four including ben but i have answered ben as well live i think just okay okay right um maybe what i'll do is i'll make the yeah i think i might have because i've changed things around and
i'm trying to up up change it rechange it rechange it back redo whatever the right word is so that it's it's gone back to how it was so he's never stared at me this much before for so long i mean what's it been an hour and a half he's just been there staring at me this is supposed to be relaxing for me as well you know so that's it that's the end of the Let Me Bore You To Sleep Q&A Friday and i'm not sure if i'll upload it today or
tomorrow probably tomorrow morning the video i mean takes hours and hours and hours anyway so that'll be available tomorrow at some point so thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy and be gentle with yourself you deserve to feel safe lots of love bye
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.