(Short | Voice Only) #1571 Let me bore you to sleep | Jason Newland | 12th March 2026

Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, And welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name is Jason Newland. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

What are you doing under there? My name is Jason Newland, I've already said that haven't I? My website is jasonnewland.com. I also have my store which is jasonnewland.store where all of my recordings are collected for you to download. I have a Facebook group called Jason Newland's Boring Group, I've also got a YouTube channel which you can search for me for, Let Me Bore You To Sleep, or Jason Newland, I'll find it there.

I'm also on, I do six versions of each podcast, I'm back to doing that again, and they're on all the major podcast hosts.

What else, I'm boring myself, just trying to remember all the different things, yeah that's pretty much it. I'm also on TikTok as well, and so, and Instagram and X, although I need to start, remember to upload to those too because I forget, but I upload all my latest videos to TikTok, for at least 59 minutes worth. So this recording will not be, I'm not doing a video, I'm just doing, what's a recording, I'm not doing a video, it's just you know, an audio, audio.

And today is Thursday the 12th of March, 2026. Now I haven't made a new recording for, I think Friday was the last time, so it is six days ago, yeah 6th of March, and the one before that was 2nd of March, and the one before that was the 1st of March, and the one before that was also the 1st of March, and the one before that was the 27th of February, and the one before that was 26th of February, and then 25th February, 23rd, 21st, 19th, 17th.

So, you know, I have the odd little break, but not a long time, it's not like a huge amount of time really, and I suppose you get used to me doing daily recordings, it's noticeable when I'm not, and I mean last month I was doing, sometimes I was doing two recordings a day, blimey, that's a lot.

I need to sort some of this stuff out as well, it's 3, 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, OK, I just seem to have done a lot of, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, OK, basically, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, yeah, it's OK, it should be all up to date now. I had some problems with the podcast, hello Vinnie, hello mate, I'm going to get on my lap now, now that, you weren't interested in being with me a minute ago, now it's like, let me lick your face, let me get on the table, eh?

I had a neighbour up here just chatting, she was sitting on the chair, and Vinnie picked up a packet of biscuits, half eaten biscuits, well they weren't half eaten, they were, I don't eat half a biscuit and put it back in the packet, what I mean is there was probably a third of the uneaten biscuits left in the packet, so it wasn't half, and he walked onto the sofa, he picked them up, very quietly, and just jumped off the sofa, in front of us, and proceeded to rip the packet open,

and I was just looking at him thinking, how blatant is that, because that is not something that he would do if he was here on his own with me, he would never do that, but because he knew I was distracted, or at least he thought I was distracted, he did, and I just found it funny, so I just left it, he didn't eat the biscuits, he just ripped the packet open and the biscuits were just on the floor, so I don't have to clear them up, aren't I Vinnie, yes, kisses,

kisses, daddy kisses, daddy kisses, so yeah, the podcasts are all back to normal again, it's funny, well it's not funny, it's funny and it isn't funny, just it's taken me a week to redo and to undo the mess of the podcasts, and I've done it now, but it's taken a lot, not even a lot, a huge amount of effort, how did Vinnie just press the computer and keep me out of what I was doing, I can't believe he did that Vinnie, oh dear, so what's this, 15,000 people signed petition calling for Cruftwinner to lose award,

this is in the news, let's have a look, let's see what this is about, I'm just going to keep up to date with the news, calls a mountain for Crufts, Crufts, so those that don't know what Crufts is, it's like a dog Olympics pretty much, and oh, ok, ah, fair enough, I'm not going to read that, apparently he accord to this, I won't say his name because he can't defend himself, it's something to do with past stuff, so yeah, ok, fair enough, look at this, cheaper broadband to your road,

£19.95 per month broadband, up to 900MB and free WiFi router, let's have a look, what does this say, now let me put my postcode in, and I bet you it says, because this isn't an actual company, it comes up, compare great UK broadband networks, so it's just going to go through all the different things, and I've done this before, and I won't get anything that says 900MB, it not available, I'm renting, I'm renting for more than a year, I'm renting forever, ever and ever and ever and ever, what's my age,

what's that got to do with it, can you believe it, there's age groups, it's like 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 boxes for ages, you know, 18 to 24 etc, I'm in the last from last box, I'm basically extinct, I'm in the 55 to 64 box, and then 65 plus is the last one, why does everyone want to keep reminding me that I'm 55, I mean really, shouldn't it be a celebration, I've hit the century, I'm 55, I'm still around, I'm becoming more round every year, especially near Easter with all that chocolate,

I'm actually the heaviest I've ever been in my life, I'm 16 stone 1 ounce or whatever it is, 16.1 stone, never been this heavy, the heaviest I've been is 16 stone, I know it's just 1 but like, I got down to 14.5 stone last year, and I'm not doing anything different, well, yeah I'm not really, I've not gone back to drinking coke, I completely got rid of coke, I got rid of sugar in my tea, I've not gone back to sugar in my tea, I might as well, mightn't I,

what's the point in cutting out sugar in my tea, if I'm going to end up being huge anyway, I do have, I have pizza every week, once a week if I can, on a Saturday, whilst watching a boxing, but that's my one little luxury, and I generally don't necessarily even have a drink with that, I just drink water with it, although I'm thinking about this Saturday, I think I will have a tango, but I still don't have a coke, the only time I have a coke now,

is when I meet my dad in the coffee place, like a couple of times a year, I'll have a bottle of coke, that is it, literally 2 bottles of coke a year, is kind of what I'll have, now I'm wondering if it's all those bags of sugar that I eat, because I thought that sugar wasn't, it wasn't fattening it, if it's in cubes, if you eat sugar in cubes, because horses eat sugars, don't they, you could feed horses sugar in cubes when I was a kid, and horses are just muscle,

so I just figured if I ate them in cubes, I'll be fine, I wonder how many people actually believe what I'm saying, so 18 to 24, these are the options, 18 to 24, 25 to 34, 35 to 44, 45 to 54, I like that period, 45 to 54 in a way, because that's when I moved in here, when I was 44, and it was kind of like starting anew, it went a bit awry to be honest, it went a bit weird, pretty quickly, but it was a start of having my own space,

my own place, my own little bit of kingdom, my little bit of me, and it is messy, I've never pretended that I live in a tidy place, I could live in a tidy place, it could be spotless and immaculate if I wanted it to be, but I've never, apart from when I first moved in, and the carpet was laid, and everything was immaculate, then I got Andre, my little ferret, and he decided to redecorate, gradually over 6 years, and he did that, first of all by ruining the carpet, ruining the paint,

ruining the doors, ruining everything, he destroyed the settee, so I had to get rid of that, because he completely burrowed into it, he completely destroyed the carpet, and it was messy, he had little nests everywhere, places where he would sleep, he had his toys everywhere, and then when I got Vinnie, he contributed as well, he just continued the whole redecorating, he thought well I quite like it the way it is, but I'll make it my own, so he doesn't have nests everywhere, but he has piles of stuff, his thing is,

he likes to have his bones all stacked up, and he moves them around, and he's been quite, what's the right word, attachy, it's not the right word is it, so I'm sitting here, I prefer this so much more than making videos, I really do, oh it's so much easier just to just not have to focus on what I look like, looking at myself, what I make, oh no, it's like, I mean to be fair, when, what things would you generally want to do whilst looking in the mirror,

and that makes my mind go a little bit, well, it's not many, I don't have a mirror in front of the toilet, I don't want to watch myself in the toilet, I don't want to watch myself in the bath, I don't want to watch myself getting dressed, I don't want to watch myself eating, I don't want to watch myself sleeping, I mean even if I did have a mirror on the ceiling, and I was a bit of a gigolo, how was I going to sleep, I just imagined that mirror falling on me,

that's all I'd be thinking about all the time, and as I got older, imagine waking up and seeing that, seeing myself in the mirror, oh no, it wasn't a dream, like a big fat man's falling on me, that would be scary wouldn't it, I said to someone the other day, I said, because I decided it's spring now, in my mind it's spring, so I've stopped wearing my hat, one of the downfalls of wearing a hat is when I'm talking to someone, you know like another dog walker,

I can't hear them because I've got these ear flaps, I can't hear them so well, so now I'm going out without a hat on, still got my gloves but not my hat, and I was a bit chilly the other day, and I said, oh I think I chose the wrong day to stop wearing my hat, she said, oh yeah it's a bit cold isn't it, I said, yeah I can really feel it on my bald patch, and she looked at me and she said, well why don't, instead of saying bald patch,

why don't you just say your head, rude, so rude, it's like I do have hair you know, she said, yeah but you have to look really carefully to find it, I said, because I trim it, I shave it don't I, she said, when did you last shave it, I said, two weeks ago, and she said, and that's what's left, that's how much grows back in two weeks, I said, yeah, she said, I could put my finger between some of those hairs, there's big gaps, there shouldn't be big gaps between individual hair follicles,

I said, can you please stop poking my head, and it's true, I mean I had a video, I looked at a video of me just before I shaved my head this time, and you can see the, like my hair, and like the light shining through it, it's almost like there's this individual strands, or I don't know, they're not getting on with each other, I wish they would kind of stick together a little bit you know, to make it look like there's more there, but no, they're all kind of,

almost like they've been in an argument, like there's a big party and they all realised once they all get there that they're all different religions or something, it's like, oh come on, just be all humans, no, so yeah, I used to enjoy shaving my head knowing that my hair was going to grow back, I used to proudly say, you know I shaved my hair, so that if I do ever go bald in the future, it won't bother me, I won't care, because I spent my younger years with a shaved head,

because I started shaving my head when I was 31 or 32, and apart from a little bit of thinning at the front, a little bit tiny, I wasn't bald, I definitely wasn't balding back then, and I really had a, I wasn't even grey, I had a few grey hairs, but generally not grey either, and I really felt like, yeah, I'm growing as a person because I'm preparing, of course it won't happen, but if I did go bald, of course it's not going to happen to me is it,

that's the kind of thing that happens to other people, even though my brother's bald, so you know, should have been a clue, shouldn't it really, and my mum, and I thought, oh, I really didn't believe I was going to go bald, because I had such thick hair, like really thick and curly, and I still do if I just let it grow, but just not all over, so if I let my hair grow, it would be really thick and curly at the sides, and at the back, this is patch on my crown,

which is widening as we speak, actually as we speak, it's getting bigger, and then there's a bit thicker hair in the middle, but not thick thick, not as thick as the sides, and then it thins out again at the front, and I just, I mean, obviously it doesn't bother me because I never mention it do I, apart from every single recording, but I really believed that if I did go bald, when, I didn't believe I was going to go bald, but I thought if I did, it wouldn't bother me,

because I shaved my head, and I have walked around on purpose as a baldie, and I knew that I'd chosen to do that, therefore I was being brave, I was a brave little soldier, I was my mummies brave little soldier, as she used to call me, when I'd eat up all my dinner, no one's called me a brave little soldier for years, I used to like that, I remember my step mum, my first one, she used to open the door when I was in bed,

and she'd wave goodbye and do a little thing with her finger to say goodnight, I loved that woman so much you know, she used to sometimes, I don't know if she called me a brave little soldier or if it was something that I wanted her to call me, I've never found a girlfriend to call me that, it's really hard isn't it, you know when you want, we have nicknames don't we sometimes for partners, I think it's best if it just happens organically, because if you've got a preferred name,

or maybe you want to test one out, like I did, I thought, my brave little soldier, I thought, I wonder if I can get one of my girlfriends to call me that, I say one of my girlfriends, like the next girlfriend I get, if I do have another girlfriend, this is in the past, or maybe when I was with someone I thought, the thing is I never knew what was the right time, I mean when's the right time for the first holding of hands, the first kiss, never mind like,

you know, telling the person that you really like them, or maybe that you love them, asking them to maybe move in with you, or get married even, the hand in marriage, or when's the right time for other things, like introducing a nickname that you'd like them to call you, or letting them know that you've got herpes, I mean it's kind of, there's no right time is there, and just for example, just to let you know that has happened to me, I was with someone and they told me that, it's like,

and they did not pick the right time to do it, I remember she said, look I've just got to let you know, I really like you, it's over a meal, so I guess it was, I don't know if it was romantic, kind of, it was, well the conversation wasn't romantic, but it seemed like quite a romantic night, but it was over a meal, we were just eating, and she said, oh I've got something to tell you, I said, oh, what is this, it's a little bit concerned, I thought, oh,

she's not pregnant is she, and then I remembered that we hadn't done anything for her to be pregnant, so, I thought, okay, I don't know why I'd like first go there though, oh, is she pregnant, and then anyway, she said, oh, I've got herpes, I thought I should let you know before anything happens between us, and, you know, I said look, first of all, there's, I understand, this is what I said to her, I understand there's no convenient time to, kind of, release this information, to announce this news about,

you know, your condition, I realise there's no, there's no good time, but Christmas dinner with my parents, that's a really bad time, and my dad said, just leave it alone, don't worry about it, it's fine, it's funny, I said, it's not supposed to be funny dad, he said, but it is, it really is, it's the best Christmas ever, like, he just, but it was difficult, because, like, I didn't really understand what it was, is he really talking about herpes, I mean, it's not really a very relaxing conversation, is it, okay,

I'll move on, sorry, yeah, so, 18-24, 25-34, 35-44, 45-54, what's my favourite age group, 18-24, 25-34, 35-44, 45-54, or current age group, 55-64, so, what was my favourite years of being around, I mean, I suppose, it's natural to go back and say, well, my youngest years, 18-24, 18-24, that's when I was enthusiastic about life, kind of, moved to London to, you know, join the comedy club, experience, industry, whatever you want to call it, but I also had no money for that whole time, I had a couple of jobs that paid well,

but other than that, it was pretty quite low, ages 25-34, now, when it comes to having relationships and having fun, and meeting ladies and dating, whatever you want to call it, those were my years for that period, so, 25-34, well, 25-31, really, kind of all ended when I left London, but I did have a few girlfriends, yeah, I think between 34-37, I had 3 girlfriends, but anyway, these aren't the years, so, 35-44, probably going to say, well, in some ways, those were some of the greatest years for me,

because that's when I started making podcasts or recordings back then, helping people to fall asleep, I also did my degree in counseling, I trained in boxing as well, so that was good, and I also did Taekwondo, so, you know, I did a bit of fitness going, did some training and stuff, also diagnosed with bipolar, which was, it was a positive thing, you know, in a sense of, what was that, I was 41, 41, because it was December 2011 that I was diagnosed with bipolar, and then again in 2013, so,

that period is quite important for that as well, 35-44, I was volunteering in the alcohol and drug different places, doing group relaxation sessions, I was living in the Buddhist community, beginning of that period, and, yeah, so that was kind of good there, my Nan was still here, so I was visiting my Nan regularly, became a counselor during that period, so I was a counselor, professional full-time counselor for about a few years anyway, so that was pretty good, but, well, it was hard, because I wasn't earning enough money to get by,

but it was also a difficult time because of, you know, mental health stuff, but then, 40, the age of 45, so, that would be 2015, it was, I mean, the beginning of that year, you know, just the end of the previous year, that my Nan passed, so, that was a difficult time in the beginning of that year, particularly, and then, in the April, I moved here, so there was a big upheaval emotionally, a lot happened in quite a short time, and then, so between 45 and 54, so 54 would have been 2024,

so I was 55 last year in August, so I've only been 55 for September, October, November, December, January, February, just over 6 months, 6 months and 15, 16 days, 16 and a half months, no, not 16 and a half months, 6 and a half months, but then, hmm, a lot happened in that period, a lot happened, so, yeah, I guess, you know, it's a mixture of lots of different things, so, yeah, so I wouldn't put down as being my favourite age, I don't know, probably 35 to 44, in some ways,

because that's when I started making recordings, videos, volunteering, helping people with relaxation, all that stuff, and then doing my degree and accomplishing something I never really believed I could, yeah, so maybe that would be my favourite time, but 25 to 34, in other ways, was way better, because I actually had a social life, the only time in my life that I've had a social life was between 25 and 34, well it wasn't even, well yeah, actually it did extend, because when I moved from London, I was working in a call centre,

and I did have a social life with the people I was working with, because I used to go out with them in evenings and weekends and stuff, so, yeah, I did have a social life then, hmm, now 55 to 64, I can't really say, or even make a judgement on that, because it hasn't happened yet has it, I mean 6 months has, but there's still, you know, still quite a few months left, quite a few years left to get to the age of 64, so let's click on that one,

to see whether or not I've got anything available, oh this is the compare great UK broadband providers, that's what I was talking about, how did I get onto my favourite years, I don't know, according to this, best value 1995 is unlimited fibre broadband, best value blah blah blah blah, ahhh, virgin fastest speed, but virgin do not deliver here, unblock your personalised broadband, so virgin, if I go to the virgin, if I put in virgin, and then I put in my area, Google is very funny, it says there are no virgins in your area,

no, virgin, virgin, broadband, there was an arrow to my flat, apparently if you go long enough you become a virgin again, so I'm a newborn virgin, virgin broadband fastest, no, fault checker, you know what I found out today, if I type a text too quickly I could get myself into a lot of trouble, so I was on the toilet, that's not really relevant for the story, but I was on the toilet, and I thought I'd send a text message to my neighbour, just to see how she is,

so all I wrote in was how are you, and I was about to send it, but the spell check changed it from how are you to one word, h o a r e, so I nearly sent her a message saying whore, and it was a genuine mistake, I could not believe it, lucky I stopped it in time, it's good to know for the future though, ok let's have a look, we're so pleased to hear you like Virgin Media, whilst we're busy expanding our network, it looks like we're currently unavailable at your address,

I already knew that, I've been trying to get with Virgin for years, that sounds wrong, because they are pretty much the fastest one, but nope, absolutely ridiculous, so 55 to 64 Virgin, and what's the other one, talk talk, talk talk, find out more, I don't want to give them my details, just give me the information, no because they get paid if they pass the details on don't they, yes I know, so talk talk, let's see what, oh apparently Gigabyte, who came round, I mentioned it about a month ago,

a bloke came round, and he said, oh hello, I said hello, he said is that Jason, I said yeah, I thought this isn't a phone call, he's actually standing in front of me, it's almost like he's phoned me up, hello can I speak to Jason Newland please, he's like yeah I'm here, don't you mean see, can you see, no let's speak to him, ok fair enough, yeah hi, he said oh, in the past you've shown interest in our new broadband, our giga whatever, super fast broadband, 900 gigabytes a second,

which is really fast, and I said yes please, and I said right, do you want my details, my bank details, because he checked on me, he had all my details, my telephone number, because I filled a form in online, so I knew he was legit, and he said oh no no no, I can't sign you up here, I said well what are you coming round for then, if you can't sign me up, you've got all my details, I just want to see if you're still interested, you could have done that by email or phone me,

he said what are you talking like that for, I said I don't know what you mean, why am I talking, I'm just talking normally, and he said stop it, I said ok, sorry, he said I've had enough of your insolence, I said sorry, sorry father, and he promised me, he promised me that the internet will be up and running within the next 3 to 4 weeks, that's what he said, he said it will be up and running within the next 3 to 4 weeks, he told my neighbour downstairs the same thing,

because I told him to go knock on her door, because she has the same rubbish reception internet that I have, because we're basically the same, it's the same building isn't it really, well it is the same building, but she's got a flat downstairs, I've got a flat upstairs, it's like living in a house, I'm upstairs, she's downstairs, you know 900 megabytes, it could serve this whole flat, this whole building, 6 flats, 900 megabytes a second, there's 6 flats, 1, 2, 1, at least 2 of those flats,

well at least one of those flats doesn't even have broadband at all, and another one of those flats wouldn't use it much, I'd probably use it the most, it's just because I'm uploading such large files with the recordings and stuff, but saying that downstairs there, she's a gamer, so she probably would use more than me actually thinking about it, but we could get it for one flat and share it amongst the whole building, and I'd kind of be up to doing that, although there's a part of me that wants to be greedy,

and say no, I want all 900 megabytes, it's not gigabytes a second, it's megabytes a second sorry, 900 megabytes a second, gigabytes would be ridiculous, 900 gigabytes a second, no, I'm not even sure if a supercomputer could do that, possibly it could, but yeah, definitely not a broadband, so she contacted them, she told me, that's the reason I know, and she said no, no it's not happening now, and she said what do you mean, I don't know if she said it like that, but she did say what do you mean,

and the thing is, there's a school near us, and they have, they provide the internet for them, and when they knocked on our doors, they said that they were putting in pipeline the cables on our side of the road, I mean they were literally digging up the road, so I see them do it, I'm not spending all day staring at the road to see if anyone digs stuff, but you can hear it, and I take Vinnie out two or three times a day, and I just, it's like really, really,

so you're not doing it, he said no, we never could provide that service to flats, it would only ever be houses anyway, not flats, and she said to them, well what's the difference between a house and a flat, if you're providing internet to a house, it reaches upstairs doesn't it, so what's the difference between giving it to flats, there's no difference surely, and I can't remember the end of the conversation, because I remembered, just realised that my foot was on the floor, and my pink crocs were kind of not on my foot,

and I realised that one of my toe nails was a little bit sticky outy, so I quickly put my croc back on, because I didn't want anyone to see that, and then she told me, she said, my neighbour, she said, well there's a box you can get, a router for £100, and then for 50 quid a week, 50 quid a month, you can get with EE, and you can get up to 900, or 400 megabytes a second, so I don't know, 400 megabytes a second, because it just,

now I know I live near, I live in the countryside, however, I don't live like, there are people here, I live on a housing estate, it's not like, I saw the other day, I saw, was it yesterday, or the day before on the news, and there was someone with a gas, a big gas container, and they were using, oil container, I think it was oil container, and they were using that to heat their house, I'm like, really, that was like the previous century to last century wasn't it,

that people used oil to heat their houses, and to heat the water, I mean don't we have electricity, I mean it's a genuine question, has electricity not reached every part of the country yet, I mean it's been going for a while, I mean it was quite popular, I mean to start with it wasn't very popular, people didn't like it, they were scared of it, I don't want that electricity coming in my house, no thanks, it's like indoor toilets, I'm not doing that inside the house, that's an outside of the house activity,

so you know, I just figured that everyone heard about electricity, but apparently some people they don't use it, they use oil, and gas, like gas containers and stuff, so cold it was, there was no way of warming it up, it would have been lovely in the summer, winter, I mean literally, I went there, I was at my Dad's for Christmas, it would have been 2002, Christmas 2002, really, yeah it would have been, I moved out of where I was living, because of the noise, I moved into this caravan,

probably the November time, I'd paid ahead with my previous place for about 2, 3 months, didn't tell them I moved out, luckily because I moved back in again, because I couldn't stay there at this caravan, so I moved into this caravan, I liked it, it was big, spacious, two words meaning the same thing, and I had all my books in there, there was a telly, not great reception, but there was a telly, I had a recliner chair in there as well, and it was nice, I liked it,

it was near a railway track, but the railway track wasn't like super busy, but what there wasn't was neighbours, there was a couple of people who had caravans, but there was no loud music being played, it was peaceful, especially after working in an office all day, on calls, phone calls and stuff, it was so nice just to get away from there, and chill out for the weekend, I had the supermarket just up the road from where I lived, it was about a half hour walk, but it still wasn't far really,

I liked it, but it wasn't suitable for living in, in the winter, in the summer I think it would be fine, I noticed there was a lot of damp, but even then I didn't really care, I just like, you know I like it, I'm going to work through this, I'm going to get it done, because I don't want to go back to that other place, and so I went to my dad's for Christmas, got a phone call I think on, might be Boxing Day, from my landlord, from the caravan site,

telling me that the caravan had flooded, I'd left a tap on or something, the caravan had flooded, so this was Boxing Day morning or something silly like that, my dad drove me back there, it was in the next town, he drove me back, there was no public transport available, thinking there was some kind of emergency, and it wasn't, it was a tap outside that had frozen, I had nothing to do because it was really cold, like it was super cold, and because I'd come back, I was like I might as well stay here now,

there's no point coming back and coming back again, I might as well just stay here, so my dad said goodbye, I said goodbye to him, and we walked back to his car and he said goodbye and I said goodbye, and in the end we thought, I said to him, you know we've still got probably about 3 minutes till we get to your car, because it was parked out of the way, I said should we stop saying goodbye, he said it's nice to say goodbye, I said no it's courteous,

it's good manners I know, but I don't know whether or not we need to keep doing it during this period, but he said well yeah but it's Christmas, I said I know it's Christmas but it's a season of goodwill, I said no but it's not a season of keep saying goodbye is it, he laughed at that, so I thought wow, made my dad laugh, that's nice, and it turned out he wasn't laughing at that, he was laughing because I'd just trodden on some dog poo,

but in the end I just like walked back to his car, he said goodbye again, I said goodbye, he thought I'd had a last laugh because I'd walked in some poo, but you know I wiped it on his bumper, so the car bumper, I then, not the bumper, what's it called, the registration plate, or the bumper, what's the bumper, it's the back bit isn't it, I really ruined that bit didn't I saying that, because the thing is, the registration thing, that's quite good for scraping dog poo,

I'm not that I've done it a lot of times but it is quite good for cleaning the bottom of your shoes, don't do it though because it's not nice, he said naughty, stop being so naughty, and I went back to the thingy, and I thought, you know what, I'll stick them on, full blast, 5, 10 minutes and they'll be fine, 4 hours later it was still as cold as what it was when I first got in there, absolutely freezing cold, I waited another 3 or 4 hours, absolutely freezing cold,

so I had to go back to my other place, so I went back to an empty flat because I'd moved all my stuff out, and stayed the night there, then came back and got all my stuff and moved out of the caravan, ridiculous, it was such a pointless waste of time, but you know what, I loved the idea of living in a caravan, because it was spacious, it wasn't like a tiny little caravan, it was a proper one, but it didn't work, it was broken, and I was there for a few weeks,

probably a couple of weeks maybe, and I had no problems with the heat because I was there, maybe I left the heat on during the day, I probably shouldn't have done that when I was at work, but I didn't have the problems, because I left it for probably 2 or 3 nights in a row without it being heated and being on, I just couldn't get the heat back in, it just wouldn't happen, it refused, point blank refused, and I was sitting there, and I could feel my clothes getting damp on me,

it was just weird, I'd still quite like to have a caravan though, just like the idea of being able to just, or living on a caravan site, not necessarily in the summer, but just near a beach, somewhere where it's nice to take Vinnie and have a walk on the promenade, yeah maybe. Well Vinnie's now on the other side of the sofa having a bit of a sleep, well I'm now back to the old days where I just talk about nothing for an hour, what's happened?

Surely I should have a subject.

What? What have I actually talked about? Nothing? I haven't have I? Morrissey, brilliant, Morrissey the singer, he scraps a concert after being kept awake by festival noise, so Morrissey, he was in the Smiths, cancelled his scheduled concert in Valencia, Spain, citing extreme sleep deprivation, the singer claimed he was unable to rest due to festival noise, loud techno singing and megaphone announcements in the city. His arrival coincided with Las Fallas, that sounds rude everybody, Las Fallas, a week long traditional festival known for its celebratory atmosphere.

The cancellation adds to Morrissey's history of calling off or postponing numerous shows, with the Valencia gig reportedly being his sixth cancellation in 2026.

And apparently it's supposed to be, Ladies Tour is promoting a new album called Make Up Is A Lie, to be, I mean, I would, I can kind of get where he's coming from. However, if you're going to go to a festival, then I would say, I mean, I imagine he doesn't do all the nitty gritty planning himself. So whoever's looking after him, the team looking after him, need to plan a bit better.

Because if they know that he's a grumpy old man, like me, sometimes, and he needs his full sleep, and he doesn't want to be around noise, then they need to make sure that wherever he's staying, there's not going to be any noise. And I get it, you can't predict every single outcome. But I'm pretty sure he could have found him a villa to stay in, in a mountain, away from everything, that maybe took an hour to get to the venue, do his performance and then go back to the, you know, go back to the hotel or wherever it was.

Surely. I don't know, just like, it seems like the standard thing to do. If you've got a pop star, rock star, musician, actor, whatever, whatever celebrity person you've got, and they're working, they're doing a gig, whether it's a performance on a movie set, whatever.

You want to make it as nice as possible for them. It just makes sense, doesn't it? And the person really responsible for that is, you could say him or her. But ultimately, the person looking out for him or her should know what they require.

So there's old theories, isn't it? Old stories about Mariah Carey needing 70 million roses in a dressing room, and Elton John needing lots of rent, lots of donuts or I don't know, like, there was something he used to like to have. In his dressing room before doing performances. And I've heard that about lots of different like famous actors and stuff.

Or even, yeah, just things like that. And if you if you're looking after that person behind the scenes, they just make sure it's there, don't you? It's as simple as that. If Mariah Carey needs 100 roses in her dressing room, preparing for a performance at Wembley Stadium or, or TV studio, then that's what she gets.

Simple as that. Just don't let anyone else be in charge of it. You be in charge of it.

Or just have one person that's in charge of her needs. Even though those needs might seem ridiculous, and outlandish, and a little bit expensive. It's like, yeah.

So if Morrissey wants to be somewhere where it's quiet, because, you know, he's not, he's not a young man anymore. He's not young, young. He's how old is he? He's probably Morrissey.

Just thinking about it. He was Morrissey was in the Smiths in the early 80s. When I was, I remember listening to him when I was about 12.

So I would say he's got at least seven years on me. So we're going to be in the 60s. Morrissey, I'd say 64.

That's what I'm guessing. I have my eyes closed. I've not looked yet.

Where is it? Morrissey. Here we go. I'm just going to say 64, 64, 64, 66.

Okay. So he's 66 years old. And that's not to take anything away.

So he's 11 years older than me. That's not to take anything away from him. Oh, he's old.

No. He's everyone's. I mean, if I didn't believe that everyone should be allowed to get some sleep, I wouldn't be making these recordings of me talking about nothing for the last 20 years.

You know, I know sleep is important. So, dear Mr. Morrissey, or Stephen Patrick Morrissey as you were. Is Morrissey his actual name? So Morrissey was his surname.

Stephen Patrick Morrissey. I didn't know that. I know he's always been known as Morrissey.

But I didn't realize that. It's a good name though, isn't it? I mean, if I look at him, I can't think of any other name that suits him better than Morrissey. Like Gilbert? No.

Samson? No. Alan? No. Morrissey? Yeah, Morrissey.

Isn't it strange how people just seem to suit their names, like their faces suit their names? Patrick? No. Actually, yeah, that's his name, isn't it? Stephen Patrick. So Patrick's his middle name.

Stephen Patrick. Did I tell you? This is weird. It's not funny, but it's weird.

It's true. When Uncle Sausages was in hospital, I went to visit him one day. And I said, you all right? He said, no, I'm hungry.

I said, that's all right, we can go down and get something from the what's it? Because this was like in his first week or so that he was in there. And he, the nurse, I said, I want to take him downstairs. And we're going to go and get and he said he didn't have any breakfast.

And I'm gonna take him downstairs. So why didn't you get any breakfast? He said, I don't know. He didn't come and ask me if I wanted any breakfast.

So it is. And so I just like, okay, we'll just go downstairs, get something from Costa, like a baguette, or I don't know, like, just something to eat, and some coffee or something. And he said, All right, then.

And the nurse said, No, he can't, can't go downstairs. I said, What do you mean? And she pointed to the board. And NBM or NIL, nil by mouth, basically.

So what's that about? She said he's not allowed to eat. I said, I know what it means. I'm saying, What is it? Why? She said, I don't know.

I think he needs to have a medical intervention or something, or maybe a scan or something like that. Okay. She goes through nothing at lunchtime.

And in the afternoon, probably three o'clock, the doctor come around, see how everything is. And I said, When when is his scan? Do you know roughly? And he said no, because I was going to go with him and make because he was a little bit worried because he'd had one before. And I said, they said, What's what scan? I said, the scan he's got.

They said he doesn't have to have a scan. I said, Well, why is he not able to eat? They said he is able to eat. But it says on the board there, nil by mouth.

And the doctor said, I don't know why it says that. And then another doctor said, Oh, that was for the last person that was there. He's only been in that bed one day.

They forgot to wipe it out off of the board. Absolutely. Honestly.

Luckily, even though he only had two hours, maybe an hour and a half, I think it came, dinner comes around at four, between four and five. We still went downstairs and got some food because he was really hungry. Plus, I've been teasing him because I've been eating in front of him.

And it's I don't know what it is. Maybe it's a childishness in me. Because I knew he wanted to eat what I was eating.

And I was eating it. I couldn't help but make really yum yum noises. I think that annoyed him a little bit.

In fact, I think it annoyed everyone to be fair. And yeah, I don't think anyone really appreciated that. The noise I was making all the dance I was doing while I was making the noise.

I remember one, one of the nurses came in and said, realize you're a regular visitor. And it's really nice to visit him. He's got no one else.

But please put your clothes back on. Okay. Wow.

I paid such a good picture of myself. Don't I sometimes. What you want to meet me and be my boyfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend.

Do you love me? Vinnie? Vinnie? Vinnie? He's such a Wally. Yes, he is. What was I going to say? Yeah.

See, the way I see it is, if you're looking after someone, regardless if they're a, if you're going on holiday, and you're with your partner, if you know your partner needs, has certain needs. It might not be physical needs, you know, due to disability or anything. It might just be something that they like.

You know, if they like to walk to even on holiday, they like to walk to the news agents to buy newspaper. Then book a hotel that isn't too far away from a news agents and make sure there is a news agents nearby. Little things like that can really make a difference.

And that's why I've never really given this much thought until now. I don't know why I'm thinking about it now. It seems very pointless to be honest.

I think maybe I'm growing as a person. I'm becoming more sensitive, more nurturing, more desperate. That's probably the right word, more desperate.

I'm willing to just go along. Go along with it. Just any, just please love me.

Love me. I can pretend to be nice. So yeah.

So leave Morrissey alone. That's basically what I was trying to say. I like Morrissey.

I still couldn't find any broadband, but a pirate penny. What is this? What I found out a bit of? Okay. I saw something this earlier.

Something this. Michelle Pfeiffer and why she hasn't worked with husband in 30 years. Now, I wonder this is MSN everyone.

MSN. It comes up as part of my search. Now just comes up and it's just like nonstop drivel all day.

And most of the stories are just celebrity stories, which is much nicer than some of the stuff that's on the news. But I don't know why is there was this thing. It was an article about actors that didn't like superhero movies, which included some actors that were actually had been in superhero movies.

And one of the actors said, the reason I don't really like superhero movies, it because it's not really doesn't really represent the world that we live in. It's not supposed to. It's literally, it's a movie.

It's not supposed to be real. It's supposed to be fun. I mean, not every aspect of the superhero movies are fun because they do.

They do kind of encroach upon some quite weird subjects, but it's it's fantasy, isn't it? It's fantasy. I've never once watched a superhero movie. And at the end of it, thought to myself.

Well, that's two hours of my life gone. And I've learned I've not learned one damn thing. There was nothing spiritual.

I didn't learn anything philosophical. I'm never going to get that time back. All I had was pleasure and entertainment, a few laughs and a good time with whoever you went with.

That's all. But ultimately, where was the where was the learning moment? Where was the how did it change my life? Where was the transformation? No, it's a superhero movie. It's supposed to be fun.

Why don't you tell the makers of the three episodes of Batman? Or, you know, why don't you tell that trilogy? Why don't you tell them that it's supposed to be fun? I never got that. So Batman, the TV show was funny. It still is funny.

Actually, I think it's funny show. It's ridiculous. I still remember I watched the movie, like the original, the original, original 1960s Batman and Robin.

And they had a feature length. I don't know if it was in the cinemas or just on telly. But there I think there is a helicopter, the Batmobile, Batcopter or something.

And of course, it's, you know, it's riding itself. So they're both on a ladder. I think Batman might have saved Robin from the sea or something.

And then a shark grabs hold of the, I think it's one of those drop down rope, whatever you want to call them ladders, rope ladder, and a shark grabs hold of it, therefore pulling the helicopter towards the sea. And Batman says, looks down, he says, looks down at his leg and says, Oh, good. The shark repellent.

He just happens to have shark repellent on him. I mean, even at the age of seven, I found that funny. I thought it was absurd.

It's like, you know, six or seven years old. And I thought, yeah, that is just ridiculous. But I loved it for that reason.

And then they brought the movies out. The first one, Batman with all Keaton and Jack Nicholson. Great movie, great visuals.

It was funny and it was serious. You know, it's like a mixture of everything. Jack Nicholson was great.

It was just a really good movie. Very popular as well. I think Jack Nicholson won an Oscar for playing Joker, I do believe.

Then the second one. I kind of get a little bit confused how many there was. There was Jackman and Robin and there was Jackman and Robin, Batman and Robin.

And there was the Iceman come off or something. So there was one which had, they just had all these big stars in them. So one had Arnold Schwarzenegger.

One had, I don't know which ones were which, but there was Arnold. There was Uma Thurman. There was Jim Carrey.

There was What's His Name, who was also a huge star at the time. Oh, there was Danny DeVito as a penguin. I don't know.

How many did they do? How many Batman movies? All Batman movies. All Batman movies. So let's have a look.

So what? Oh, there's a new one coming. Michael Keaton. Really? Batman Beyond the movie coming soon.

That looks weird because it's also got Richard Gere, Meryl Streep. It doesn't look like it's a real image. I mean, it looks like it's got the image of the new Batman.

It's also got a picture of him, also a picture of Michael Keaton. And it's a different costume. So I'm not sure.

So return, no, no, wait, Batman. First in the series of the Batman movies. Oh, there was four.

I was, that does make sense. So you got Batman. Then you got Batman Returns.

So Batman had the Joker. Batman Returns has Catwoman and the Penguin. So Michelle Pfeiffer and Danny DeVito.

Danny DeVito. It would make a good penguin though, wouldn't it? Wouldn't need any makeup either. It is Danny DeVito.

I apologize, Danny DeVito. It actually is Danny DeVito as a penguin. Why did I think it was? What's his name? That's really strange.

I thought the penguin was not who was in Kramer versus Kramer that movie. I thought that was Danny. That was who played the penguin.

It was Danny DeVito. I love Danny DeVito, by the way. It's a very gentle lover.

So the next one is Batman Forever. That was, and we had, so we had the, right, that's Michael Keaton was in the first two. Then Val Kilmer was the next one.

And then George Clooney was in the last one of those four. Tommy Lee Jones as Two-Face. Jim Carrey as the Riddler.

And then you had Nicole Kidman and Chris O'Donnell. So Chris O'Donnell was Robin, wasn't he? Batman Forever. Nicole Kidman.

I don't know who she played. See, here's my thing, right? Okay. Batman and Robin was the next one.

So where did the Iceman cometh? Where did I get that from? Or was that just one of the posters that was around at the time? Because Arnold Schwarzenegger played the Iceman. This is in Batman and Robin. Chris O'Donnell played Robin.

George Clooney played Batman. Uma Thurman played, um, what did she play? What did Uma Thurman do? Was she like a witch or she could do, she had something she could do, didn't she? The thing is, in all the other movies after that, the Batman, none of the Batmans had powers. None of the enemies had any powers.

But in, yeah, the Iceman, he had like powers, didn't he? Being able to turn things into ice. Uma Thurman. Poison Ivory.

Ivory? I don't think because I'm looking at the computer screen that I'm looking this up because I am. I'm not. The memories are coming to me just by looking at her.

Poison Ivory. And also Alice Silverstone. But I don't know who she played.

So that was the final in that series. And then in 2005, I do believe, because I did go and see this first one on a date with someone. Batman begins.

Okay. So Batman begins and that's the one with, what's his name? Mr. Serious. The Serious one.

Batman begins. Christian Bale. And just looking who else is in there.

I don't know, to be honest with you. Okay. The second one had the Joker.

The first one. I don't know. I really don't know who's Liam Neeson was in.

Okay. So the Batman, Liam Neeson was kind of the archenemy because he's the one that trained the Batman. I don't think I've ever seen the Dark Knight, the second one all the way through or the Dark Knight Rises all the way through.

I've just seen clips. Perhaps I'll try and watch all three together. So the third one, the Dark Knight Rises, that's got, what's his name, isn't it? Kane.

Is it Kane? Who's in that one? All Batman movies in order. Okay, this will be a better one. So Batman begins.

No, that's not in order, is it? How can that be in order? What about the original four? Bless them. So if we go, we start with the Christian Bale ones. So you've got Batman begins, the Dark Knight, the Dark Knight Rises.

Then you've got Batman versus Superman. That's when Ben Affleck takes over as Batman. There's Suicide Squad, which is, Batman's not even in that.

But the Joker's in it, isn't he? So, yeah, I don't know why they're doing that. And then you've got Justice League with Ben Affleck as Superman again. And then the Lego Batman movie.

Okay, fair enough. Can't argue with that one. I like the Justice League.

And I liked Batman versus Superman. But not everybody did. And Justice League had some funny bits.

It's got quite a bit of humor, which is unusual for DC movies. The superhero movies quite often, in my opinion, aren't particularly funny. Yet the Marvel ones have, for me, a better balance.

Although they've kind of gone in a different direction at times, a little bit too far, like silly. But even then I can go along with it because it's just a superhero movie. There's a bit of entertainment.

You know, I'm not watching it in order to grow taller. You know, I'm not watching it. I don't watch all three of the Batman movies and then measure myself and like, oh, no, I'm still the same height.

That's wasted my time. You know, I'm not watching them for any kind of big reason. That's what I'm saying.

Why would you watch a movie? He's talking about watching movies so he can grow taller. That makes no sense. I know.

It's very kind of similar in that way. And they knew that because they copied some bits because Robert De Niro's in both of those. And then you got the Batman.

I. Yeah, I'm not like that as well. It was good, but zero humor. They're missing out Batman part.

No, the Joker part, which I couldn't watch. I didn't get why they tried to make a musical. I was very creative.

But. I didn't. Yeah.

I mean, I think musicals work takes a lot for musical to really be successful, I think, in the movie format. And quite often it would be years of it being in a theater. And it gets tested.

It's like The Wizard of Oz or Wicked. Wicked was in theaters for the last 30, 40 years. Not theaters.

Yeah. You know, concerts, people going to West End and to watch these shows of Wicked. So the songs were tested.

The whole premise, every aspect of those movies was tried and tested thousands and thousands and thousands of times before they turned into a movie. So they couldn't really fail. And the same with Greece.

Greece was a huge hit. Long before it became a movie. So they'd already tested it on thousands, maybe millions, maybe not millions, but a lot of people had watched Greece, the musical.

You know, on Broadway and maybe in the West End and the whatever version there is of your country where people go to shows, theater, ballet, whatever. You know, so Cats is another one. Or so many movies that have been tested.

But I don't think Joker par deux or Dukes du X had that, just didn't have that quality of being tested. And if it had had done, it might have been a huge hit because then they could have retuned it to the audience so that it fitted in and it got the proper laughs and it got and the songs were kind of perfect. Like Greece, for me, Greece the musical was perfect.

The Wizard of Oz, perfect. Wicked. I'm going to say perfect because I don't, I've not seen all of it, to be honest, but there's just certain aspects.

Some of the movies just like, you know, every song or Phantom of the Opera. Phantom of the Opera being on this, you know, when they made that into a movie. I'm just trying to think, did they turn it into a movie? But it was such a big hit on Broadway.

I suppose Cats is another one I mentioned. Loads, loads that have been really big and then they turn into a movie and it's almost guaranteed to be successful because they know that the audience are going to enjoy it. Because it's been tried and tested.

They didn't do that with Joker Part 2. They didn't. And maybe that's why it didn't work. I mean, that really, they could have done so much with that movie based on the first one.

It could have been a really, really good film. Really, really, if they, yeah, it could have turned into like one big, really big ride of fun and explosions and silliness. But at the same time, because it was kind of anarchy, wasn't it at the end of the first one? And he had all people like dressed up like him.

So how are the police even going to know who he is or where he is? So, yeah, he kind of became the anti-hero. But, you know, when I was watching that movie, as we came to the end, you know, the end of the movie and that preceding time, maybe, you know, the last three, five hours between the movie ending and, you know, that those five hours afterwards, at no point did I think I hope they do another one.

A part two and they have songs and they turn into a musical.

That's what this movie, this is what needs. It's a good movie, but it'd be great, much better if they started just if they sang all their dialogue, please. I didn't, I genuinely didn't think that.

Maybe I'm just being shallow. Maybe I'm just being shallow, shallow, shallow. Maybe it's possible.

I like to think I'm not really shallow. Not really. Not really.

Just seeing if I had any emails. How did I get talking about Batman? Anyone? Oh, no idea. So what I'm looking forward to seeing is what's his name? What's his name? Okay.

Right. So let's have a look. I can find it by just going through.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Right. The Dark Knight.

Batman begins the Dark Knight Trilogy. The Cillian, Cillian Murphy is not Cillian Murphy. He's 49.

So he played the Scarecrow in the second that he played in the Dark Knight Trilogy. I've just seen something. I can't believe it.

Can you believe that Inception was 16 years ago? Inception. Do you remember when I was like the most advanced technological special effects ever done ever, ever, ever. And it was 16 years ago.

Wow. I think Cillian, whatever his name is, Murphy. He's done quite well considering how he looks, isn't he? With a face like that.

Amazingly, he made it big, but he did. Oh, God, he's beautiful. He's absolutely gorgeous.

Okay, so I was trying to do some irony there. Where's all his movies? I didn't even know he's Irish. I don't know if I've ever seen him with, I mean, maybe he has had roles where he had an Irish accent, but I've not seen any, I don't think.

And also, I think really, to me, he was, what's his name? Selby, Thomas, Thomas, Tommy Selby, Thomas Selby in the Peaky Blinders. And, and that started years ago, didn't it? Peaky Blinders, I mean, finished years ago as well. So the Peaky Blinders, where is it? 2013 to 2022.

So it finished four years ago. Four years. And the new movie is coming out.

In fact, it's already out in cinemas. And it's being released on Netflix on the 20th. So in eight days, we'll be able to watch the Peaky Blinders new movie.

I had a little thought, I thought, should I just watch every episodes of Peaky Blinders over the next eight days in preparation of the movie? And I thought, no. It'd be good to see the movie though, when it comes out. And as far as I'm aware, it takes place.

Because the first movie takes place after the first WW. And the second one takes place after the second, in my understanding. So he's gone away, and then he comes back to Birmingham.

And I really thought he, I mean, I thought he was from Birmingham. So I didn't realize he was putting on an accent. And this is weird.

Why is it saying that? Oh, 104 minutes. So 130, 140. I've been talking for a while, haven't I? Do you ever wonder why I managed to talk or how I managed to talk so long? Do you ever think about that? I do sometimes.

Sometimes I think. How? How? Honestly, how, how, how, how, how? All right, Vinnie. Don't look at me like that.

Stop judging me. Honestly, I've never seen a more judgmental doggy in my life. Always judging me.

So that's enough about Cillian. So I know his name is, I think it's Cillian Murphy, but I like Cillian Murphy. I don't know why.

He looks like a Cillian Murphy. And I think the reason for that is because I always thought his name was Cillian Murphy. So for 15 years or whatever, I've been watching him on TV and in movies.

I thought his name was Cillian. But I think his name is actually Killian. And, but he doesn't look like a Killian to me.

He looks like a Cillian. And I find it very difficult to change names for people once I've got a name for them. Like I got a friend, Boston Chicky.

That's not a real name. Her name's Andy. But I have to call her Boston Chicky because that's what I know about her.

That's how I've known her for many, many years. There's a neighbor that I see walking the dog and she's on TikTok and her name is Beach Babe. Actually, that's not her real name.

But I have to call her Beach Babe now because that's what I know her by. Which is probably a bit weird when we're in the park and there's other dog walkers about, you know. Right Steve.

Right Stuart. Hi Beach Babe. Yeah.

I'm not sure if her husband would like it either. Maybe I shouldn't call her Beach Babe anymore. But that's just because that's just a name that I know her by.

You know what I mean? Some people know me as Juicy JJ. You know what I mean? Some people call me JJ. Some people do.

Some people call me Juicy. Because no matter how old I get, I'll still be Juicy. Right.

Let's have a look. Oh, let's have a look at this. So.

Oh, come on. So Jake Paul mocked on social media over awkward stains on stage. So he took to the platform at some rally in Hebron, Kentucky.

Aiming to deliver a stirring address about courage, politics and loyalty. However, the YouTuber turned pugilist. Why don't they say boxer? I mean, how many people? I'm not saying that people don't know what pugilist means.

But does everyone know what pugilist means? But anyway, he's a boxer. So YouTuber turned boxer inadvertently created one of the event's most memorable moments for attendees. Why things happened is, whoever did this article, basically just copied the article and reworded it.

So whoever wrote it first put in boxer, and they just change it to pugilist. And instead of inadvertently, which they did here, probably originally said accidentally. And it probably was accidentally caused one of the event's most memorable moments created or created instead of caused.

Once of the evening's motion, they say it was originally the event's most memorable. So the evenings. And you know, so it's alright, that's what's happened.

Anyway, we're getting down to some satantics. satantics. satantics.

Satantics. satantics. satantics.

Satantics. satantics. Okay, so basically, man gets on stage in front of loads of really hot lamps and sweats.

Man is human. That's basically isn't it? Jake Paul is human. He sweats.

I mean, he's got a suit on with a tie, he's got a beard. And as someone that sometimes has a beard, you know, beards don't cool you down. They might cool down people that are standing underneath underneath it.

If they're taking shade from the sun. But depends how big the beard is. Anyway, leave him alone.

Jake Paul's cool. Plus, he's really good for female boxers for female boxing. And he's, he is the he is the biggest champion or has been the biggest champion for female boxers in forever really.

He's not the only champion, but he has been the biggest. Like, you know, I would say, although Eddie Hearn's done a lot. All the big promoters have done a lot for women's boxing.

But I'd say Jake Paul's done the most to having like all female bills and stuff. What's this? Tommy Fleetwood stunned by Tiger Woods banned from competing. Tiger Woods is looking a bit different these days.

Did you see all that stuff about what's his name? Well, all right, then. Elton John. Oh, the Louis Angus.

Oh, look at this. I'm just looking for it. Sorry.

Ross Kemp 61 stays in shape with his cardio focused five workout week. Now, those who don't know who he is, he's Ross Kemp is Grant from EastEnders. That's what he's, I would argue, most famous for, but he has done other TV shows as well.

But he, you know, he's, he's, he's Grant from EastEnders. And he's looking good. 61.

It's weird. I tell you, it's strange. You're right.

Okay, so they've got him standing in a garden with a top on, but it's like a, you know, there's those like gym, like a vest really so that you can show off your shoulders and your arms and stuff. He's got one of them on. He's holding his hands together in front of him.

I don't know if he's praying or maybe he's just caught a butterfly. I don't know what it is. And next to it, there's a picture with Walford East Station, which has, you know, it's where EastEnders kind of based and it's got him standing there in a leather jacket.

The thing is, he looks exactly the same age in the second picture, and he hasn't been in EastEnders for years. He makes the occasional appearance he did last year. But that picture of him, I would say is probably from a long time ago, and they just stuck his head on.

In fact, I don't know if that's even his body. I need proof, Mr. Kemp, please send me pictures. Why am I saying stuff like that? I don't want pictures of him.

So it's Jason Newland. Send me pictures at hotmail.com. No, no, no, no, no, no. He always was.

I liked Grant Mitchell. Especially when they're both in it together, because it's very, very much. It's quite funny dialogue.

Because even though Grant was the toughest out of the two. Phil Mitchell, his brother, was like the hilarious, really, in some ways. And they go from constantly trying to stop each other from like getting into trouble.

Yeah. Yeah. So.

Just a text from a neighbor asking me for toilet rolls. Should I say no? Is that wrong? I don't know. I think it's funny.

Perhaps I should say yes. Do you want to go and see Mummy? Right. So I want to say thank you for listening.

It's been a pleasure not having to look in a camera. And. Remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy.

Be gentle with yourself. You deserve to feel safe. And also, if you're still awake, just a reminder that tomorrow is Q&A Friday.

And as yet, I do not have any questions. So please send me a question that I can answer tomorrow. On Q&A Friday.

Take care. Lots of love. Bye.