(Short Music) Q&A Friday | #1635 Let Me Bore You To Sleep

Hello, hello. Hello, hello. Do you know that it's me? It's me! Hello.

Welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. And this is... What could it be? What could it be? Q&A Friday. Q&A Friday.

Yeah, it's Q&A Friday. It's quite warm today. So, I have my window open quite wide, which means it's letting in a fair bit of sound, background sound, such as cars and the trains going past, and especially little doggies barking and people talking and stuff like that.

So, hopefully, I mean, if there's any like loud, loud noises or anything, I will edit that out. But if you want it to be completely silent, then perhaps just don't listen, because I can't guarantee that. The weird thing about it is, when I listen back to the recordings, the microphone doesn't pick up the background sounds nearly anywhere near as much as my ears whilst I'm making a recording.

So, maybe I'm just being a little bit oversensitive, but I just don't want, I don't want dogs barking in the background, even if it is in the distance. But right now, the windows are open and it's going to pick up a lot louder than it would do if I had the windows closed and the curtain drawn over. So, yeah, please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

My name is Jason Newland, if I haven't said that already. My website is jasonnewland.com, where you can find my recordings to stream or download. I have a Facebook group called Jason Newland's Boring Group, which you can join.

It is a very exciting place to be. Wow, you know, sometimes I go on there, just, you know, just, just check things out. And sometimes I'm on there for like nearly a minute.

Honestly, it's wow, it just grips me. So, it's like a dead python, like a dead python. So, you can find me on YouTube.

Although YouTube is playing up a little bit, but now it's kind of seemed to sort itself out with a little bit of my help. It hadn't updated like for two days, two days. And I don't know why.

Sometimes it does that. I think it's because I make too many recordings. It throws off a little bit because YouTube is not used to it.

People like me. So, I don't know how it's doing now. I think it has started to upload some of the stuff.

Oh, really? Oh, no, it is. Blimey. It has.

Oh, it's really uploaded a lot of stuff today. Fair enough. Good.

So, it's catching up. In fact, it's got the last one that I did earlier. So, today I have made, I've already made two recordings.

So, it's Friday the 19th of June 2006. So, I've done the latest one in the Breaking Free from Control and Manipulation called Letting Go of Their Voice in Your Head. And I've done, I think, the fourth or fifth one in Healing from the Inside called Feeling Good Enough.

And so, they're all recorded and edited and up processed and uploaded and everything. So, it's been quite a productive day. It's just nine minutes past one in the afternoon.

So, I don't normally record at this time of the day because this is potentially like a, I don't want to use the word noise, soundy. This is a soundy period. Especially this time of the year in the summer, people in the garden chatting, which I can't really moan about that, you know.

Well, I can and I will, but it's normal, isn't it? If you've got people sitting in the garden. So, I don't have him in the garden because I know that he will bark at stuff. And I know that I don't let him off the lead because he will run around.

We're not supposed to let him off the lead. That's what the council told me. So, he can go into the communal garden as long as I keep him in check.

But he will bark at things. If he hears something, he'll bark and he will, I can't let him off the lead because he will, it'll cause absolute mayhem. He will.

So, I can't go in the garden with him really, outside of just to do a quick wee wee. Or slow wee wee. Doesn't always have to be quick.

I mean, I took him out today, just after 9am. And we saw two people to say hello to, but there's only one dog out. And it was very warm.

Now, I don't know what the temperature's out there now, but I'm not taking him out until at least five. Just because it was so hot this morning. I'm not gonna, I mean, he was panting as soon as we got outside.

Okay, I was panting as soon as we got outside. He was just shouting at me. Come on, Dad.

What's wrong with you? Come on. You know, because he had the lead. He had the end of the lead.

I had the lead on me. And he's very rude. The things he does when I wake up sometimes, you know.

I wake up and he's tied me to the bed post or covered me in marmalade. It's weird. He's got some weird things that he has.

So, what's going on? I didn't make a let me bore you to sleep recording yesterday. Simply because I was very tired. So, I did two recordings, but I've also been trying to update one of my other podcasts, which is the Relaxed Relaxation for Stress and Panic Attack.

So, I've been uploading and like just doing stuff on there. So, that because I was using the iPad to do that, I couldn't use the iPad for anything else, which was a little bit annoying. But that's all right.

It's all right, really. It's not too bad. You know what I mean? And then by the evening, I just like, no, I just want to go to bed, which is what I did.

So, I had my delivery of food today, my groceries, all my meals and stuff. So, that was delivered this morning about half eight. So, that's good.

I'm using a service now. Just look at my phone. It's a service I used to use.

So, basically, I'm now a pensioner, really. This is maybe a little bit embarrassed, but embarrassing. But hey, I use a company called Wiltshire Foods, which I used to use.

I've used them in the past. And it's basically all the meals come frozen. And you stick them in the freezer because they're frozen.

And then you just cook them from frozen. How many more times have I been able to say frozen without bringing any attention to it? Oh, I think it's too late now, isn't it? So, yeah, I ordered, I have to order a week in advance. So, I've got my delivery today.

I'm about to order next week's delivery. Because, you know, just it's the way they do the system. So, I've got 20.

What? I asked for exactly the same thing as this week for next week, but they've given me 25 items. What's that about? No. No.

Oh, no. I made a mistake. No, I didn't.

What? This is weird. This is very strange. One, two, one, one, two, two.

So, 19th of June, last order, which is today. And it is the same as last week. But maybe this, I don't know.

It's very strange. But then it says that I've, my last order. Oh, yeah, it was 25 items.

But last time I managed to get a discount. This time I didn't. There's not a lot in it.

98, £6. So, I managed to get a £6 discount from, like, searched online. But I used ChatGPT.

Just said, please, can you find me a discount code for Wiltshire Farm Foods. And it looked and found me a few. Some of them didn't work.

And then I eventually found one that did. And I tried it again this today for next week's order. No, no.

I mean, the last time I actually had a delivery from them was in February 2024. But I started using them in 2015. And the reason this is, this is the thing is, this is quite interesting to me.

But I know it's extremely boring to listen to. So I'll continue. That's why I like these let me bore you to sleep because if it's interesting, then that's quite good, you know, as a listener, I guess.

But if it's really boring, that's also good because that's supposed to be boring. So I can't lose, really. So if I talk about something that I'm super interested in, edgy as seat stuff, you know, for me anyway, and other people are just falling asleep out sheer tedium, then my job's done.

Yeah, brilliant. Who would have thought, like, 30 years ago, that my aim in life would be to bore people to sleep. My aim in life would be to send people to sleep.

I mean, I know I do have a podcast that, you know, for other stuff like relaxation, and etc, all the things I do, but sleeping is pretty much the, the predominant sort of recurring theme over the last 20 years. Who would have thought, like, I'd be the boring man. The boring man.

Boom. Yeah. Well, you want to know what I've ordered? No.

Okay. Few order details. So this is the same as what I ordered.

I got delivered today. So seven chicken and vegetable pies, seven chicken and gravy. That's also tomatoes, it comes in vegetables and potato, mashed potato.

So that's basically two meals a day for a week. Two cooked meals a day for a week. Black forest desert.

Most of it is desserts. This is this is, look, you know, I figured right. I'm trying to justify for myself.

If I'm going to have two cooked meals a day, which I haven't had for years. So I'm trying to, I'm looking at maybe getting myself a bit healthier. You know, having vegetables twice a day and it's not going to do me no harm, is it? So I think to counteract all the healthiness, I have to have some desserts.

And you could argue, yeah, it's processed food, but it's not so much processed. Well, everything's processed in a sense, isn't it? But it's more, I guess, mass produced. But it is, you know, I've had them before.

It is good quality stuff. It's not cheap either. I mean, it's £4.95, £4.95 for the chicken and veg pie.

And it's £5.25 for the chicken and gravy. I mean, that's not that's not a cheap frozen meal. I wouldn't pay that much if I went to Tesco's or, you know, so it is, in my opinion, better quality than what you'd get in the shops.

So I'll try to do desserts. I've got a dessert with each meal as well. And so I've got two black forest ghettos, one peach Melbourne ice cream dessert, melt in the middle chocolate puddings, pack of two, I don't know why I'm laughing at this, blackcurrant cheesecake too.

I've got a pack of six chocolate ice cream sticks. It's summer, it's ice cream time. A luxury treacle tart, and two Chelsea buns and a jam sponge, two of them.

So basically, I've got enough for a cooked meal and a dessert twice a day. And then also, you know, an ice cream at some point as well. It's a little treat.

Don't judge me. Stop judging me. I haven't been eating properly for a long time.

And cooking ain't my thing. And I just, I'll eat just a bowl of cereal. If it means not having to do anything.

And it's not that I'm lazy. It may be partly because I'm lazy. It's not just because I'm but I don't have.

Hmm. I'm not I mean, if I was lazy, then I wouldn't produce any recordings, would I? I wouldn't be doing this now. It's just some things that I just just really, I can't face doing.

And preparing and cooking food is one of those things. So yeah, there you go. And it's only me, you know, I'm cooking for one.

And if I do cook, you know what I eat? I do eat really proper processed stuff. Like fish fingers, fish cakes, pies. That's the kind of stuff I eat.

And although they are delicious. Oh, a nice pie would go down jolly well right now. But I got chicken and veggie pie and they're nice.

So I've had them before. So yeah, I'm okay with this. I'm at peace.

With this. And hopefully, I'll be well not just hopefully I will be getting a heck of a more heck of a more, a lot more vitamins into my body than I currently am getting. Because at the moment, it's just yeah, I'm not eating particularly well.

I haven't done for years really. So for the sake of just sticking something in the oven, or the microwave, I'll probably go I prefer using the oven than the microwave because things come out nicer. It tastes nicer in it from the oven.

I personally don't think but think I was gonna say believe but then I changed it to think but I'd already started the word. But think I started a new word. Yeah, so that was delivered this morning.

As I said about 830. And it was three and a half boxes because I think I was expecting like crates or something. They came boxes which is a lot easier.

Bags would be easier though. I'll be honest. I prefer carrier bags because then I just find carry bags easier.

More pleasing. Yeah, I wonder if they do that if they put in carry bags if I ask. The dog outside started barking.

And you know, I'm so proud of Vinnie. He doesn't respond anymore to that dog. That dog responds to Vinnie.

But he doesn't respond to that dog. It's not to say he doesn't respond to any dogs because when there's a conversation between that dog out there and another one. And then another one that he sometimes starts howling.

He wants to be part of the party. The party. But generally, he's such a good boy.

I mean, unless you if you touch the front door, he will go like in a second, scream the place down. And then that dog over there starts barking. But I did get him to stop barking quite quickly.

Well, the other night, I haven't told you tonight this. I was woken up about half past four. Well, I woke up at half four, which is kind of normal.

You know, although it's half five this morning. But I woke up at half four. And I just got up.

And I heard this noise. Vinnie hadn't heard it. He was fast asleep.

And I thought what's going on there. So I looked at my camera on my phone. And there was a bird out there trying to get out.

The windows were closed. Basically, someone left the doors open downstairs and the bird must have flew in. Either that or he has a key.

And he said the bird flew in and was trying to get out. So I'm kind of putting some clothes on. So I can go out there and let the and I've got a towel and can let it out.

But one of the other neighbors was already out there doing it. So she'd kind of got it out to the window. And I was having this half awake conversation with the lady who lives opposite me.

She's saying, you're right. Then I said, I'm not awake. And so I think that probably woke me up.

The bird banging against the door. And I thought, I don't like when that happens, because I just worried that they're gonna, the bird will injure itself, you know. And also how scary that must be for the bird.

So yeah, that upsets me. But then I looked at the camera, because I thought, I wonder how long it's been there for? And apparently it's been there for four days. I just hadn't noticed it.

No, it'd been there since nine o'clock the previous evening. And I took him out into the garden probably about eight o'clock for a wee wee. Or maybe I took him out at seven o'clock for a walk or something.

So I hadn't actually been out. And I didn't hear it. I didn't hear anything during the night.

But it had been banging into things for hours and hours and hours. I felt so sorry for him. Just like, God, poor little fella.

But he got out and hopefully he's well now. Probably got moaned at for getting home late. Where you been? All this time, you've been with her again, haven't you? So yeah, I like to just, I hope, if you're listening, I hope that the bird's okay.

I mean, there's probably not much chance that the bird's listening to this podcast, but you never know. There's some weird stuff happening in the world. That's no weirder than some of the stuff I see on the news.

So other than that, I can't think of anything else that's happening. Oh, I've got a yellow hat. This isn't new news, really, but I've got a yellow hat.

And I basically can't go out in the yellow hat when it's sunny. Because it gets covered in these insects, these little black insects. I guess they're flies, but they're not.

I don't know what kind of flies they are. And today, not only did I get covered in them, but one went up my nose, my left nostril, and I couldn't get it out. Now, I couldn't get it out in public, if you know what I mean.

I didn't have any tissue to blow my nose. And I did a quick finger up there, you know, just that sounds weird, doesn't it? I stuck a quick finger up there. But like, hopefully no one's looking.

So don't pick my nose in public. There's some things I just won't do. I was gonna say something that I won't do for money.

But you know, if you pay me, I would probably. But I could feel it crawling around. And it was really irritating me.

So I almost ran home. And then there was a lady with a dog and chatting to me. It's like, No, I got off late.

I got a fly up my nose. Can't stop. I'm sure she didn't hear me mentioned the fly up my nose.

Because she kept talking. It's like, No, I don't want to be rude. But I said, Come on, Vinnie.

Go home. She was talking about the weather. And I was talking about the fly up my nose.

I think we're kind of in different frames of mind. You know, I managed to get in. I tried to do the old football, blow your nose football thing they do in the football pitch, which is disgusting.

There's no one around but that didn't work either. Because there was there was nothing up there other than the fly. And anyway, I got home and blew my nose and there was the little tiny little thing.

Just looking at me laughing. So yeah, that was it's not the first time that's happened either. I mean, it's worse, way worse.

If I'm out like out out not like just with him, like proper out in human civilization, like on a bus or in town or something like that. It's almost like, Oh, what we got to do? Because I want to okay, um, you know, it's not a lot I can do about how I look. Not a lot I can do about how I I just, this is what I look like.

But I don't want to add to it with additional grubbiness. And, you know, so I want to be able to blow my nose, get rid of the fly, knowing that I've not left any residue on my face without going into details. And I suppose I mean, I could look on the phone just to check, but it's hard to do that in public.

I mean, some people blow their nose all the time in public and don't seem to have an issue with it. I don't like doing that. I don't like blowing my nose in public.

I don't. I just don't know. I don't particularly like eating in public either.

Just because especially with my beard, I end up getting food everywhere. And I always get covered in food, whatever t-shirt I wear for the day. By the time I finish my breakfast, I've always right at the top, always got milk and stuff down it.

I'm a messy eater. Just the way it is. So there.

And he still hasn't caught the fly. It's weird that she now got the window open. There seems to be less flies in there than it was yesterday.

And it's such a shame that I can't have the window open all the time. But because of the noise, because specifically with the dog and the people sometimes chatting loudly, that doesn't bother me, the people, if I'm just doing what I'm doing. You know, if I'm not making a recording, I can watch TV and stuff.

Or if I'm doing something on the internet, listen to music or maybe watching a movie, whatever, or listening to some music and relaxing. So the video just started off then for a second. Something caught his eye.

Oh, it's the fly. He was barking at the fly. That's not going to make it come closer to you.

So yeah, other than that, it's been nice. I had a bit of rain earlier in the week, but it's been quite a nice day today. It was.

I can't even remember what it was like yesterday, to be honest, just another day. I can't weather-wise. I don't take much notice.

I mean, I do on the actual day itself. But I don't. Well, I know I do talk about the weather, but generally it's like once it's done, it's done.

For me, the weather from yesterday is, it's like a poo, you know, just flush it away and don't keep thinking about it. I think, oh, that poo I did yesterday. No, that's what the weather's like.

It's just, it's something that happened and it's gone. Let's move on. You know, I've never kept a diary of the weather.

And there's no, you know, people going, oh, it's such extreme weather now. Now I know the world's getting hotter. I realise that.

It's undeniable. But as far as extreme weather, we had extreme, we, I wasn't a liar, but there was extreme weather in this country many times over the years. I mean, a hurricane in 1987, I think it was, and the only hurricane we've ever had in this country that I'm aware of.

We, I think we had the big freeze or another little distraction there, the dog barking. Now we've got a woman in the garden talking loudly. The thing is, I can wait for the dog to stop barking, but if I wait for her to stop talking, I might not get the recording done.

So please forgive, forgive me for my sins. It's like a, I think it's a volume control thing. I don't know how much you can hear.

So I will continue with my, my, it distracts me though. Just moaning about something. That's all I hear is.

You know, I've come to, at age, I'm so thankful that I'm able to deal with this kind of stuff now because there was a time when I couldn't emotionally. I would have my head out of the window shouting. It's hard to believe because I'm so calm and cuddly and cute and wonderful and calm and peaceful, but I wasn't always like this and noisy neighbors is something that I've had an issue.

Well, I've had problems with for many, many years, difficult neighbors come and go, you know, but really at the moment, like in this building, it's everyone's really nice. Everyone's really nice in the other building. Everyone's really nice.

It's just a little bit of noise from over the fence and it's only one person and whatever visitors she, he or she has. So apart from that, it's quiet. The whole neighborhood is quiet really.

It's, um, but you know, it only takes one person with a big mouth and a loud voice to kind of really a big loud dog to make it difficult for other people. It's kind of a shame really. But then, you know, she'll move on.

She won't be there forever. It's like I noticed, I used to think that years ago, like, oh, like, oh, that person is never going to leave their job. That person is never going to move out.

And eventually people do, don't they? Everyone moves on. You know, I had a, I had a, a boss that was so so good at what he did and he loved the company, so dedicated. And, you know, one day he came in, he said, oh, I've got to let you know I'm leaving.

Given my mum's noticing. I was like, what? Just out of the blue, like, well, it wasn't out of the blue for him, but it's out of the blue for us. And who was working under him.

And it was sad because he was like a really, really great bloke. And it's the same way with here, I moved into this building. And so there's five other flats here.

And I didn't know anybody, I didn't know anyone when I first moved in. But I got to know everyone in the building plus one, two, three, four, five, five or six, seven, seven people over the fence in that building. I knew seven people over there off the top of my head.

And they've all gone. They've all moved out. Now eight.

Yeah, eight, nine, nine people. And yeah, they've all moved out. I mean, they weren't all living there at exactly the same time, but they're pretty much most of them were living there when I first moved in.

And two got kicked out, maybe three, but the others like just left. So yeah, it's just here as well. And the only person left from when I moved in, was my neighbor downstairs, not just below me, but the other side.

And she's been here, I think, two or three years before I got here. So she'd been about 13, 14 years. And I've always got on well with her.

And then the lady, the person just below me directly below me, who lived here before her name, was she she basically she was here. And I got on well with her as well as she she passed away. And then someone else moved in.

And I didn't really didn't really get to know that person. But then someone else lived there for a while. And I got to know him.

And then he moved out. And then I got to know the new people that are lovely. So that's two flats.

Upstairs. The there's a flat that's owned, it's not council, it's owned. And the person was I think the person that owned it was living here when I moved in.

But then the other bloke who rented it off of him has been here for probably about nine years, eight or nine years been here forever. So I don't even remember the other person because I never spoke to him. One of the sort of didn't really see him.

I see him like coming going, but I didn't know him to talk to. So, you know, he's been there for most of that time. But he again, the original person left.

Uncle sausages opposite me. He'd been here since about 1999. And of course, he left last summer.

And it's times like this because of the football being on. It's the World Cup. Football, you might call it soccer.

And basically, he was Uncle sausages was an absolute sport fanatic. Football above everything else. But he also loved cricket.

He loved rugby, tennis. And I can't think of any other sports, but he liked boxing as well. But I think he talked about boxing with me, because he knew that I love boxing.

It wasn't his, his thing, unless it was like a Northern Irish boxer, because he was from Northern Ireland. So I think he supported any boxers from Northern Ireland. And there's been a few like really big names.

But you know, so he's gone. So he was a new person living there. Downstairs, my friend, who left a few years ago, unfortunately.

He was there. I think he'd also been there for about two years before I got here. And he yeah, he then when he left, a lady moved in.

And then she got pregnant, wasn't me. And then she got pregnant and another person moved in. So really, the only original people left in this building that was here when I first moved in was the one downstairs, not not below me, but downstairs.

And literally three of my neighbours have left the planet and are in this building. Weird, weird stuff. I'm trying to think back to the time when I first moved in.

It seems so long ago. And it's probably because so much has happened in that time. I mean, technically 10 years, a lot happens in 10 years.

If you break it down. I mean, I know, because sometimes, like sometimes to me, it feels like nothing happens ever. And I'm not, I'm not complaining about that, necessarily.

But sometimes it feels like all the years gone by and nothing's happened. But there's been quite a few things happen over the years. And things that never used to happen before I moved here.

Dealing with things I never had to deal with before. And it's been a challenge. That's definitely probably the correct word, a challenge.

Because before I moved here, I had limited contact with my neighbours. Even if I was living in a house, you know, sharing a house with six other people. And I was sharing the bathroom with them in the kitchen.

I generally I made a bit of an effort to get on with them. But not much effort. I generally didn't want to kind of be involved in their lives or anything like that, because just wanted to be left alone.

Because I've seen what can happen in the past when I did sort of become friends with someone and then they just yeah, it can become weird. So I changed my rules when I moved in here. I mean, my last place I did, I was friends with two people that lived there, one who was upstairs and one who was downstairs.

And a bloke who lived right next to me and we used to have a chat. But it wasn't anything like deep, it was just like, you're getting on, you're right, good. Just have a chat, just generally shoot the breeze, you know.

But I didn't know anything about his life. Really, any just basic stuff. But he was a nice bloke and we just used to get on.

And then a bloke upstairs, we used to chat because he worked in one of the, he worked in a supermarket. So I kind of got to know him from there. And then realised he lived in the same building as me when I moved in there.

So we used to have a chat and stuff, but it was still, hello, you're right, just have a laugh, you know. The same as I suppose if I was in a pub, like, how you doing? What, you want to buy me a pint? All right then. And you know, I mean, I've even lived with family and still kept myself to myself.

I also, when I was at university, I lived in a family home and their daughter was still living with them. I mean, she was probably 26, 27, but she was still living at home for whatever reason. And I kept myself to myself, you know, I chatted to them, but I didn't get involved, you know, I didn't, didn't eat Christmas dinner with them.

I didn't want to be involved that much, just do my own thing. And I moved in here and suddenly I'm like, oh, let's change things up. Let's grow as a person.

Let's, let's try and be nicer to people, be more friendlier. And it was never a case of not being friendly, quite a friendly person generally. But it is kind of a meet and greet, hi, bye, hello, see ya situation.

And in the past, that's what it was. And just let it organically, you know, so if you're in a kitchen at the same time, you've got the shared space, the kitchen, the bathroom, the hallway, maybe a living room depends on what kind of a place it is. So you can't order garden even.

So you kind of get to know them a little bit. So I'll be chatting and saying, I saw what you're doing. And you know, sometimes I like to say, I've got a question for you.

You know, you saw, okay, okay, I'm going to ask some questions. Is it okay if I ask you a question? And I say, yeah, but could you wait till I finished my bath? And so yeah, sometimes you'd okay, fair enough. We'll put a lock on the door.

There is a lock on the door. You climb through the window. Okay, some people always got an excuse, always got an argument and then they all got to come back.

And I didn't seem to make much effort. But when I moved here, I actually knocked on people's doors to introduce myself, but nobody answered. And then bit by bit, over the next week or two, after moving in, I met some neighbors, I met my friend downstairs.

He was with a friend. So it was kind of hello. And that was it.

And then I met my neighbor downstairs, the one that was living just below me. And we went to the Yeah, we went to the fair, the school fair together. And at one point, someone said to her, back in tickets, some raffle, do you want raffles for tickets for your boyfriend? And she said, he's not my boyfriend.

Okay, maybe not quite like that. But there was a reaction to the being called her boyfriend, which is a shame because I quite would have liked to be my boyfriend at that point. Because Yeah, she was nice.

But that never happened. I mean, it kind of could have done probably a couple of times, but I didn't. Just, you know, there is stuff going on there.

So I didn't kind of get involved. But there was one time that she did come up here and she was telling me how lovely I was. And I thought, that's not bad.

As it turned out for the afternoon. Because you know, I don't hear many people tell me that I'm lovely. So I thought, thank you.

Perhaps I should have repaid the compliment. I don't know. Because I didn't.

I was a little bit flummoxed, if I'm honest with you. I didn't really know where she was coming from, or why she was saying it. And I said, and then she starts talking about what we should have for dinner.

She's gonna cook us dinner tonight. And she's just like, almost like we was on a date or something. And then she's standing there, she's looking out the window and I'm sort of standing with her looking out the window.

And I'm thinking, see, my mistake in those situations is I just move very slowly. I don't, I don't seize the moment or seize the day. Or at least even confirm.

Yeah. Instead, I almost let it remain ambiguous. And as we were talking, and it was getting better, I was one side of the room.

But you know, nothing was happening intimately. But I'd known her for years at this point. And she was just talking, suddenly all the lights went off, because this is in the winter.

It's a power cut. So she went downstairs. We both went downstairs.

Now why didn't just say, look, should we just wait up here? Although that might be weird. Or at least I could have said, something to confirm the night. So do you want me to get order a pizza tonight or or just like, tell him I love her or something, you know, just I love you.

I know it's a power cut, but I love you. Anyway, she went downstairs, saw someone she didn't want to see, and went ran into a flat and didn't see her again for months. So that kind of ended.

And I'm not not one to knock on the door. Does that make sense? I mean, she knocked on my door because she needed something. I don't know if you can hear that in the background.

So what they do when the dog's not barking, the visitors come around and try and get the dog to bark. I don't know what hurts my ears more, the dog barking or the people talking. You hear it? But they're not talking.

They're shouting at each other. If you consider this is probably 100 foot away. Wow, wow, wow, wow.

So I should cover. I don't know why I was talking about that. But hey, that's what I do sometimes.

I did. Oh, yes. Okay.

So I did two recordings yesterday as well. And which was I did another one of the old what's it's one, two. Oh, shut up.

We're doing one. Two, three, four. And you're allowed to protect yourself.

That was the breaking free from control and manipulation and releasing guilt, healing from the inside. So that's good. All right, the stats are going up.

That's nice. So I've had a what I had just under 1000 downloads today, which is good. And so I've got questions.

I've only got two. So which is lucky, I suppose, because I've been talking about nothing for an hour already. Already.

Ali asked the first question. So I've got a question from Mary. Thanks, Mary.

Mary sent me the question via email. And Ali posted on the Facebook group. Is that too much noise in the background? See, it sounds really loud to me by Ali asks, can you please explain the term of the garden for non Brits? I believe it's basically the yard for Americans.

But this is something I've been pondering for years. Thank you. Wow, I just assumed everyone would know what a garden was.

I didn't even think that it would. Yeah, I suppose the yard. I mean, I think yardies call it the yard.

There are some members of society that still they call and oh, but it's not the yard. So some people come and see my yard or come and see my crib. Is it crib crib? And it's all about their home.

And some people use the word yard to describe home. I went to his yard on my ones or something. I know that kind of sort of terminology.

And I, yes, so we don't use we do use the term yard. I mean, like in a non like street talkie kind of thing. A yard would be something you'd have in it like a builder's yard.

You know, we got bricks and just a bunch of like sand and dirt. And that's kind of what we would call a yard in the UK. And I suppose also like a farmyard.

Again, like dirt and stuff like that. A garden is basically a basic description would be a patch of ground, probably at the back of your house with grass. And then maybe you'd have trees and shrubberies and and bushes and stuff like that, maybe a pond.

But yeah, that's what we call a garden here. And we also have things like garden centers, where you can buy seeds and garden furniture. And not everyone has a garden, but a lot of houses do have them of various sizes.

Some people have conservatories in the garden out the, you know, out the back. And a lot of places have front gardens. And some parts of the country people sit in their front garden like it's a back garden.

And I'll actually bring furniture out and sit in the front. And we don't do that in this part of the country. So but some people do that.

And sitting in the back garden, it's kind of a private thing, you know, it's sitting in the front garden. I'm not a big fan of that. Because you walk past I feel I don't want to be watched.

I don't want to be observed as I'm walking past because I kind of feel like I've got a weird walk. Do you ever do that is someone's watching you like, oh, am I putting too much? Am I wobbling my head too much? Or is my left leg moving too far up to the side? It's just, you know, it's like, oh, I feel very self conscious. That's why I stopped doing the cakewalk modelling.

No, catwalk, sorry, catwalk modelling. Don't more like cats though, do they? I don't want to call them catwalks. So yeah, that's it really.

It's yard is like a yard sale would be I mean, we are in England becoming more and more American, like, you know, every day we sort of if you go on TikTok, the amount of English people that also speak with an American accent, every now and then when they're talking. Because we hear the American accent so much on TV, on movies, on in, you know, on the internet as well, generally. So it's quite easy for an English person to do an American accent.

Maybe not a good one. But, you know, generalized American accent is fairly easy for an English person, because we've grown up from a baby watching American TV shows, because there's so many brilliant TV shows from America. There's so many brilliant movies from America as well.

So, you know, so shall I do my American accent? Hello, I'm from America. How is you doing? I'm from America. I'm from the Midwest.

I own my own horse. See, that was pretty much, that was John Wayne, wasn't it? I mean, obviously. Why did people used to do an impression of John Wayne saying, get off your horse and drink your milk? I mean, what was that about? Drinking milk? Anyone? Was that an advert? Did he do an advert, John Wayne, advertising milk? So Mary says, Hi, Jason, thank you for boring us to sleep.

You really are the bestest sleep provider in the whole universe, and possibly have the most relaxing voice of any humans ever existed. I'm surprised you're not mega famous around the world, or even more famous than you are already. You really are a superstar.

And the question is, how much of that was true? You'll never know. And the question is, do you enjoy cooking? If so, that's weird, because I've already covered that and I've already covered that question earlier on. Wow, Mary, if you listen to this, you probably thought, wow, he's covered it.

He's doing my question first without realizing it. Yeah, listen to earlier. The answer is no.

Favorite food to cook? No, nothing. I don't cook. I don't have a favorite food to cook.

And favorite foods? No. Although I think if I had a bit more space and nicer place, and maybe a partner in crime to do this stuff with, I'd probably be up for making some cakes, bakery, baking stuff. You know, if I had someone I've had a partner in my life, I think rather than just do it myself, I might enjoy it more if I was doing it with someone.

Like I used to enjoy baking with my first step mum and with my nan. So I used to like baking. Cooking itself? No, I've never really been interested in cooking.

I like eating. Well, I used to like eating. I'm not, I'm really being a big connoisseur of food recently, but I've always loved cakes, but I used to enjoy making them.

And the smell, you know, just the whole thing. But I'd want to do it with someone, I think. Yeah, I mean, I'm quite a solitary person.

I like to do things on my own. But I think something like that I'd like to do with someone. Making cakes, cooking.

I don't know, if I was with the right person, I really liked her a lot. And I wanted, I enjoyed spending time with her. Then maybe I would help cook the food.

Or maybe I would want to help cook the food. I don't know. Or maybe if she had a meal that she loved, I might learn how to cook that meal so that I can surprise her.

When she's in the bath, by climbing through the window, holding a plate of her favourite food. No, I've never done that. Why do I, why? Why would you even suggest it? So, yeah, that's the answer to the question.

Only two questions. See? It's not a lot of questions, is it? Not a lot of questions. Not a lot of questions.

Didn't I get a message on my Facebook page this week? I can't remember. I'm sure I got a message at some point, somewhere, somehow, on my... Where is it? Let's have a look. Oh, no, that's not what I wanted.

What's going on here? That's very strange. Very, very strange. So I'm going to go now.

Thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy. Be gentle with yourself.

You deserve to feel safe. Lots of love. Bye.

There's a little gap between that and when I was talking before because the dog started barking again. Bless him. So it's the weekend coming up.

I'll probably do some more recordings as well. So have a great weekend and take care. And if you're watching the World Cup Football, enjoy.

Hope your team wins. Provide your team's England. No, hope your team wins.

Have fun with it. See you. Bye.