(Long Music) Tourist Tips Monday’s Boring Objects #1632 Let Me Bore You To Sleep

Hello and welcome to Jason Newland dot com. My name's Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You to Sleep.

Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Safely close your eyes. It feels like ages since I last did a Let Me Bore You to Sleep.

It's not, it's only Friday. I had two days off, not really two days off, but I did wow. So I did Friday, Q&A Friday.

I also did, blimey, so the Friday, so Friday the 12th I did Forget Everything, which is a sleep hypnosis session. I also did Trusting Your Instincts Again, Breaking Free From Control and Manipulation, and on the same day I did Q&A Friday. So it's number 1631 Let Me Bore You to Sleep.

So I actually did three recordings on Friday. Saturday I did Rebuilding Confidence, Breaking Free From Control and Manipulation, and I also did a recording called Healing Through Mist, a sleep hypnosis recording for Christine. That was Saturday.

And then Sunday I did another Breaking Free From Control and Manipulation called Safe Relationships Feel Different. And another one yesterday I did, which is Sunday, Finding Peace After Loss, Healing From Inside, from the Inside, which is my new podcast. Oh, yes, it is.

Oh, my new podcast. Don't forget about Let Me Bore You to Sleep, Jay. I won't.

This is still my favourite. I'm sorry, it always will be. The LBMYTS.

LBMYTS Let Me Bore You to Sleep. This is my little baby. This is.

I mean, this is the longest I've ever. Well, it's not the longest I've stuck to anything because I've been doing this for 20 years now, but been making sleep hypnosis and relaxation hypnosis sessions, chronic pain hypnosis sessions for over 20 years. 20 years last January, and it's now June.

So technically, technically, I have stuck at it. But for like a particular podcast, the Let Me Bore You to Sleep is definitely the one I've been doing longest. It's eight years or nine years.

I lose track now. I think it was 2018, March 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26. Yeah, it's eight years.

So, yeah, so that was yesterday. Oh, yeah, healing from the inside. So I've not really shared the podcast itself.

But I've created the podcast, so I've not shared it with any of the podcast apps. I like to get a few episodes first, maybe two or three episodes before I actually share it. But I share the individual recordings and also upload them on my other podcast as well.

So you don't have to go to that particular podcast to hear those recordings. So healing from the inside. So today, I also did the latest one in freedom from constant fear from breaking free from control and manipulation called freedom from constant fear.

And I did the second one in healing from the inside podcast called quietening of the mind. Oh. So just to let you know, I am on YouTube and my podcast, my YouTube.

What's it is? Let me boy to sleep. Slash Jason Newland. So it's very easy to find me to put my name in.

There's a picture of me at the top of the screen. Making a really weird like grimace for some reason. And the logo, the round logo is just a moon, a laughing moon.

And there are thousands of recordings on their. Playlists, I've now put a bunch of playlists on. I used to have playlists, you know, but I've gone back to it again because just to make it a little bit easier for people to find.

So I've got the. Which is my main podcast hypnosis for sleeping deeply. Broken free from control and manipulation.

Sleep hypnosis. Let me boy to sleep. Let me bore your pain away.

Relaxation for stress and panic attacks. Stop smoking, hypnosis, stress and pain relief. Stop now, biting, relaxing, sleep, hypnosis, daily and healing from the inside.

I think that's pretty much all my podcasts. I'm going to have on there. And I just want to make it a little bit easier to find my stuff.

Because there literally are. So many recordings like ridiculous amount. I've currently got seven 1721 subscribers, so that's gone up a little bit.

Over the last few days, maybe it's because I'm uploading so much stuff. That's not the reason I'm uploading so much stuff. I just happen to be making a lot more recordings lately.

What have you done for me lately? Gotta have a JLB if you want to be with me. Let's wait a while before it's too late. Yeah, so.

I'm quite pleased. I mean, the YouTube's a very slow. Very, very, very, very slow old thing.

You know. It's very slow. Apparently, according to this, there's 3100 videos.

Which is a few, isn't it? It's quite a few to. To listen to. And.

As I said, it's a slow burner. More and more people are coming across the YouTube video now. They're listening because it's just another way to listen.

You can be on the podcast app like Apple or Spotify. Or go to my website Jason Newland dot com where all my recordings are uploaded. You can stream them there or you can download them.

Or you can. I'd also upload a video every day to TikTok X and. Instagram.

I also share my latest recordings on my Facebook as well. And I've got a Facebook group called Jason Newland's Boring Group. Oh, it's exciting, isn't it? So, yeah, that's it, really.

So. I just came across this. Oh, it's gone now.

How have I managed that? Oh, OK. I just saw a thing and it said, if your partner does these nine things, it's time to go. And I've lost it.

I was so looking forward to. To seeing it. Oh.

They have got one saying if if he starts doing these nine things, he's more in love than ever before. Puts you in his will. He actually listens.

You can't really tell if someone is really actively listening unless you ask them questions afterwards. You know, this is a test. So it says here, according to a study conducted in social neuroscience.

This is MSN Dotcom. I just post all this stuff. I don't know why I look at it.

Active listening triggers the reward center of the brain. Really? I don't know if that's true, where the full presence of the partner and responsiveness are the crucial elements of emotional connection that can never be obtained through words. Well, it is words, isn't it? If you're actively, actively listening, you're listening to words.

Huh? Yeah, I don't know. Don't necessarily find it easy to actively listen unless I'm interested. Luckily, I seem to have a part of me that's that cares, seems to care.

So if someone says something that's serious, I'm listening. You know, I listen. I just can't help it.

But it's not because I'm interested. It's just we all need someone to talk to sometimes, don't we? And one of the I can't one of the I'm not going to say what it was, but one of the dog walkers yesterday told me about something that happened. We were just talking about a time machine.

And, you know, going back in time and I said, yeah, but. If I was going to go back in time, I'd like to still know what I know now and not just go through life making the same mistakes again. And then she said, oh, I wouldn't.

I don't know why it was a certain amount of time. She said, oh, I wouldn't want to go back to that just because I was going through this like an illness. And she went into quite a bit of detail about the illness.

And afterwards, I thanked her. I said, well, thank you for sharing. You know, I think she thought I was making fun of her or being sarcastic or I don't know.

And I wasn't. And she sort of said something I said, no, seriously. You know, it's.

It's a very serious, sensitive thing. It's very personal. And.

After speaking to her, I started to think. And I realized that actually. A conversation like that could save someone's life.

Because she was talking about symptoms that she had. That didn't seem serious. And then.

It turned out after examinations and everything that it was serious and she got help and she's OK. And I'm not going to go into details, but. The simple fact is she might tell that story to someone that has the same symptoms.

And because of that conversation, they go and get it checked out and it could save their life. That's how I see things now. When I was younger, I just and I'm probably going back to my 20s or my teenage years, I would just see that as someone just going on and on about how ill they are and just moaning and just talking about stuff that.

And, you know. That was a bit grim. But now.

I tell you when it stopped when I changed for me. This is supposed to be Monday's Boring Objects. Isn't it? This is going to be Monday's Boring Objects.

I can't seem to just stick to a subject. And also because I haven't spoken to you since Friday. I've got so much, so much to tell you.

There's so much I can't tell you as well. I wish I could control who listened to this. I was so much.

You know, I was on chat GBT and just talking about the the new podcast that I've started. And it also said, oh, yeah, but another good podcast would be Life of a Bipolar Hypnotist. Which I've already got, but I've got it as private.

And. It's like, yeah, but the thing is. How honest.

Can I really be on here? I mean, I'm quite open. I would say I'm well, if anything, I'm a complete overshare. But there's there's a limit, isn't there? There's kind of a. There's taking the lid.

I don't know. Yeah, I mean, I've got that podcast and. As I said, it's private.

If I still got it on here. Yes, I have. 18s adult only.

I've got on on the thing. I did three. The last one was well, the first one was March 2019.

Blimey, isn't that weird? The second one was the 18th of April 2025. And the third one was the 29th of May 2025. And they're all over an hour.

I think occasionally at that time, I just needed to to talk. But they're all private. See, yeah.

The thing is, if I spent an hour or an hour and a half talking about stuff like that, I then think to myself, well, OK. I could have used that time to do a sleep recording. Yeah, you know, I mean, so it's.

So flies around. You know, have you got that where you live? Yeah, we do have flies. I don't mean insects, but.

I was in the park yesterday and I had a yellow hat on. And honestly, I was being attacked by these insects, flying insects. I don't know what they was.

They were just attacking my hat. They were all over my hat. The day before.

I had the same kind of insects attacking. My feet or my shoes, my green shoes. I must have had my blue hat on that day.

So the yellow definitely attracted these insects. And I just like, come on. I want to go home.

I literally had to try and get them off my hat before I came into the house because I didn't want to fly all over the place. Doing whatever they do. Weird is.

Oh, so the breaking free from control and manipulation. I've now got. Well, how many episodes have I got? OK, there's an easier way of doing this.

That doesn't involve me counting every single one. There is honest. Where is it? Where is it? Projects.

What's going on here? OK. So list of episodes. Deadly.

What did I do today? Right. Today I did. Does it freedom from.

Constant fear. Yeah. So I have done now 26 episodes.

26. 26. Wow.

That's quite a lot. That is quite a lot. And.

26. Why have I done 26? At least 25 anyway. 252625.

I'm not 100% sure. But. The I think I've done 26.

I mean the amount of recordings I've actually got on that podcast. Bear in mind to do six versions of each one. Is 156 episodes.

And statistically. On that actual podcast. I've got 91 total downloads, which is obviously not a lot.

But it's growing every day. I mean 112345. Five days ago I was getting two.

Then the next day I got three next day I got six next day I got six yesterday I got 11 and so far I've got 18 today. So it's just growing incrementally. The more people are finding it.

But on the actual. I tried to start looking through it. For how many I mean what was he got there.

So this 26. We add this up 26. 46.

465666676869. 69 don't worry there's a method to what I'm doing 69. 798987.

87. 96. 106.

112. So I've got 112. At least today from that podcast, in fact, probably more actually.

This is on the hypnosis of sleeping deeply, but that's just one podcast that's today's podcast I released. But just from today. Yeah, there's quite a lot.

I have to add it all up, but we're probably talking. In. Wow.

Couple of hundred probably maybe. Yeah. So probably a couple of hundred and then there's another podcast I have them on which is the sleep hypnosis.

Daily relaxing sleep hypnosis daily. So yeah. And I've got.

Today I've had 281 downloads from that podcast. Wow and it's mainly breaking free from control and manipulation and it's not all just today's recordings either. Reconnect well for a. Well put about 300 so just today.

Now what we're doing is to the 30 days. I lied. Sorry.

It's 15. Okay. I was so excited then.

I probably had about and it's 282 for the day. So probably had about 5060 there. So I've had a few hundred.

Downloads from. For those recordings just not on the actual podcast itself. If that makes sense.

Does it make this anything? I say makes sense. Let's have a look sleep hypnosis. What have we got here statistics for today? Fifth OS quite low.

Isn't it? Blimey. Yeah, it's not many on there. That's quite low all together.

But it is quite a new podcast. Let me boy to sleep. What's been the most? What? Yeah, let's what's been the most popular podcast episode on the let me boy to sleep podcast.

So today so far. Q&A Friday overwhelming above everything else the last seven days. Q&A Friday again.

Well, that's been the most popular one. The last 30 days. I had to leave Vinnie on his own.

This is from May. Do you wow? So yes, that was quite popular one. And then Q&A Friday from last month.

What about? How? What about the last? What about last month? Let's have a look at last month. I had nearly 10,000 downloads last month. The most popular one is Q&A Friday.

Second of May. And then I had to leave Vinnie on his own tooth extraction and glass collection. So what about? What about the last 12 months? So if you let me boy to sleep podcast about 109,902 downloads for that one podcast.

Give me a bit more noise please Vinnie. Thanks. So the most popular recording I've had was.

Monday's Boring Objects on the 15th of September. I can see I've deleted some of the recordings. Why do I keep? I gotta stop doing that stuff, you know.

I didn't delete anything that was like the standard one, but I deleted some of the music stuff. I don't know why. August 2025.

Was that when they started telling me you can't use our you have to use our music. You can't use the music you're using. I think that's what it was.

I think last year had to delete a lot of stuff. Because of the music it was copyright or whatever. Spotify wouldn't allow it.

So yeah, I had to get rid of a lot of. It's so annoying when that stuff happens. It's like just every now and then, you know, it happened in about 2022, I think.

And suddenly. Or it might be 2021, but around that time, and this is my most biggest time. I'm not going to use the word popularity, but.

A lot of people stuck indoors and they had nothing else to do but listen to my boring voice. And I was getting a lot of. A lot of listeners, a lot, a lot.

Way more, way, way more than now. And. Nearly a million in one month.

Seriously, 980,000 or something. I know it sounds like I'm lying and I might be I can't remember. But in fact, we think, well, how long have you had the podcast and where the podcast eight years? I say, well, how long have I been? That's how long I've been using Spreaker.

And so, OK, well. How many downloads have you had altogether? And then you look and it's like, OK, 15,541,828. So it's a fair amount in it.

With the. What's the other one I use? I forget what the other two podcasts I've got. That adds up to over 20,000, 20,000,000.

In the last sort of eight years. And then you probably got, I don't know how many millions before that. Between 2006 and 2000 and.

Would it be 2018? Yeah, 2018. So that's 12 years. I probably had.

Quite a few. I'm not sure I must have had over a million. I've had a few podcasts at work because I kept sort of stopping and starting with podcasts.

And I had one as 150,000. I had another one that's 250,000. I had.

Half a million on my YouTube channel that I deleted. So, yes, I suppose it all adds up over time. It's really been the last eight years that I've.

I kind of got more kind of more organized, although there have been. There have been times when I haven't done like anything. And I do feel a bit guilty about that because I get people calling, not calling me, but contacting me saying, are you OK? We haven't heard anything from you.

And. It's kind of weird because maybe that's why I make so much to try and make up for that or for future events. I don't know.

I do know. I mean, I'm making this recording and it's 20 or 18 minutes to 6 p.m. And. It's been raining most of the day, although it's fairly bright outside now.

And the dog's not been barking quite as much as normal, which is good. And but the hypnosis stuff I have to do early in the morning. Although.

I'm not the only one awake. Sometimes I hear neighbors, people in the garden and stuff that are about, but they're generally not too noisy at that time in the morning. And Philly's Philly Philly Philly is fast asleep.

Can you drink some water, please? Thank you. I think he's due to have some food soon. He's been a good boy.

Yes, actually. Earlier on, I had the window open and there was two dogs going at the same time. He looked at me and I looked at him.

I was poking my finger and he just kept quiet. I didn't poke him. I just like, you know, wiggled my finger, you know, like in those really, really rubbish videos that you see online now.

Like there's no words, but there's just almost like mime. And. There's one of this bloke.

Trying to like this. I don't know how to explain it. You flap your ears, please, Philly.

Thanks. But people wiggle their fingers. To say no.

And it's like it's not real. Real life. It's kind of that that doesn't happen.

At least probably does now. Now that's been online. People perhaps copy it.

But. It's very strange. Oh, in the UK or in England anyway, I don't know about the other parts.

The. Government. Have decided to ban social media for people.

Under the age of 16. From next year. I don't know what date next year, but.

So that's going to be. Don't know how that's going to be for people. I mean, I remember when I went to university.

And in the college, because I used to, I actually did my course in the college, but it was a university course. And. There's a lot of young people there.

In fact, I was the oldest person there. I think I was older than the teachers. I was older than the building.

And. I went into the library to use the computers. Use the Internet.

And I was going to go on and check my emails and check my Facebook and check my YouTube and I couldn't get on. It's like. And I said, I can't, I can't.

I went up to the counter. Excuse me. Ever so nice to meet you.

My name is Jason. Hi. I was wondering.

What's your name? Oh, you don't want to tell me. Okay. I was wondering.

Why don't you want to tell me? Okay. I'm coming across as creepy. Okay.

Fair enough. Why? Why can't I? In what way creepy? Oh, you want me to put my trousers back on? Okay. Fair enough.

I, I was wondering. Why is, why is there no YouTube or Facebook? I can't, just can't get into them. Yet the Internet's working, but I can't get into Facebook or YouTube.

That was the only. Back then, that was kind of the only social media things there was, I think. Maybe Twitter was around, but yeah.

And she said, not allowed, not allowed. She said, not allowed. Thing is, she said it's so loud that I said, well, actually it was loud, wasn't it? She said, what? She didn't get the joke.

So I was saying it was loud. She said it wasn't loud. And I said it was loud.

Because she was being loud. And I mean, she was right not to laugh because it wasn't funny, but still. But you know, it's weird after going in there a few times.

Seeing as she saw me regularly after like three years. She still hated me. So.

I went up and continued and I heard people watching videos like kids, well not kids, but like the teenagers, 18, 19. Some of them were like 15. They'd left school early to learn to be engineers or something.

I don't know. I partly made that up. And because I left school at 15.

They were watching YouTube videos and giggling amongst themselves. And I said, how, how are you managing to get onto YouTube? And someone just said, go away, granddad. I looked around thinking, wonder who they're talking to? Another person, well actually the receptionist came up and she said, they're talking to you.

They're calling you granddad. Do you want to know why? I said, why? She said, because you're so old. And to them, you're like a really old person.

Not just old, but really old. Like they would be worried to sneeze on you in case you just turned into dust. I said, haven't you got work to do behind the counter or something? She said, yes.

I said, can you leave me alone then? She said, no, I don't want to leave you alone. My life's ambition is to break you down. Break me down? Yeah, I want to make life difficult for you.

I said, we'll only come in here for like half an hour a day. I don't know if you're going to make too much difference to my life. She said, I know where you live.

That was weird. I mean, I don't know why I went that direction because it didn't happen, but I said to one of my people on my course, How were they able to watch YouTube on the computers when the computers block all social media? And my, I think she was younger than me. I think she was 18 actually.

She said, ooh, the reason for that. I said, it's because they're using a thing called a DNS. Is it DNS? I said, what's that? She said it basically.

Is it DNS? Whatever it is, it's basically like a cloak thing where you can overcome blocked sites. It's a certain thing that they were all using. So they're basically just all using it.

And I think one is called DuckyD.com, which is a, it's basically you view the internet on private, which lets you get through stuff like that. Apparently it did back then anyway. Well, I used it.

So it must have done. I used something because I wanted to see my YouTube because I was very into YouTube back then. Most of what I did was all about YouTube.

It was all, not all about YouTube, but it was on YouTube. And the podcast came second. YouTube came first.

You know what I mean? You get me, innit? Allow it. So I, oh, this is, this is a new one. I was watching boxing on, it was a Misfits.

It was a good show. I had to go to bed before the end because I was tired, but it was a good show. And.

It was. It was just, I don't know. I just, I just hear some of the stuff that was said, and I'm sure one of them said, are you bringing all your gang with you when you come out outside? I come on my ones.

I said, he's not wearing onesies. He's wearing shorts. And then my invisible voice in my head said, no ones.

I said, no, he's not wearing onesies. No ones, he's coming on his ones. Don't you understand anything? He's coming on his ones.

The other bloke's coming with lots of friends. Lots of backup. But he's not wearing onesies.

He's wearing shorts. Okay. He's coming on his ones.

It means he's coming on his own. Why don't you just say own then? Coming on my own. Why ones? What use is that? What possible use? You know what I mean? Is that what we're going to have? In a generation, we're going to have people in their 60s and 70s.

Yeah, I'm coming on my own. Doctor. I don't know how I'm going to get home.

Well, did you not have come with family? No, I came on my ones. Just, I don't know. I don't even remember having any kind of weird lingo when I was a kid.

When I left school. Mate. And cheers.

And you know what I mean? That was it. Honestly, that was it. So, mate was.

I suppose once I kind of left school, I could say it and not get told off. You know what I mean? I said that because I was a big Frank Bruno fan. And he used to say that quite a lot.

You know what I mean Harry? That was an impression of Frank Bruno, in case you didn't know. You know what I mean Harry? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? And I absolutely loved Frank Bruno. So I used to say, you know what I mean, after every third word.

Very annoying. In fact, it even annoyed me. So I stopped doing it.

And the other thing is, what did I say? Mate, cheers. I still say cheers. So cheers is instead of thank you, cheers.

So it's not just when you are drinking in a public house. And you put your glass to the other person and tap sit and say cheers. Cheers in the UK is another way of saying thank you.

Cheers. Cheers for that. Take care.

Bye. Ta ta. Ta.

Ta is another one. Ta. Say thank you.

Ta. Bibbidi boob. That's another one.

Bibbidi boob. And if you, I mean there's quite a few different things you can say. If you're visiting the UK, I mean I've kind of touched upon this in the past.

But if you're visiting the UK on holiday from another country, there's a few things that will actually be useful to know. As I'm sure is if I was to visit America or Spain or Canada or Australia or New Zealand or South Africa or I'm not going to list every single country in the world. But Thailand, there was information that I found out before I went there that was very useful to know.

A dog's barking. One of the things is, I've forgotten now. Blimey.

I used to know it. What was it? If you drop money on the floor, don't put your foot on it to stop it blowing away. Because that's disrespectful towards the royal family who are on the money.

They're not actually on the money, they're printed on the money. Otherwise you'd be actually stepping on them and that would be disrespectful, wouldn't it? But there's not enough royal family to go around for every banknote. And the Thai people, according to this video, and I didn't experience it but I didn't ask anyone.

This is really, really important to the Thai people. And I know they just had a princess pass away. When I went there the first time, I think it was the king's birthday or the queen's birthday.

And everything was closed pretty much. They weren't allowed to sell alcohol. There were some things open, but they weren't allowed to sell alcohol on that day.

At all. And it's not a case of there's no one watching. There's no alcohol.

Because everyone respects the royal family. It's a big thing. Because I went there, I remember I went to a bar.

I just wanted something to eat actually. And they said we can't serve alcohol. And expected me to go.

I don't want alcohol, I want food, baby. I want food. Oh yeah, don't call them baby.

That's another thing. I did get into, this might be the same everywhere. The thing is, I get into miscommunication.

And I did get into a miscommunication in Thailand. But I also do that in this country as well with other English people. So I don't think it's necessarily a go abroad thing.

But I remember the bar, she was like a manager I think. Behind this place. And I was getting something to eat, sitting at the bar.

I just feel like I've said the word bar too many times. And it was called the bar. The rib bar or something.

Anyway, on the walls there was this bikini contest like poster. And I'm thinking, oh, wonder when that is. Because I'm figuring I'm in Thailand, I really should see the sights.

And she came over to me, this lady who I'd spoken to before. And we seemed to communicate quite well. I asked her if she'd like to go out, she said no.

Very quickly, grimaced and ran. So, well just into the kitchen. That seemed to be quite communicative.

But then after going in there for a week or so, she got used to me. Still didn't want to go for a date, but she realised I was a customer, I suppose. And she said to me something I didn't quite understand.

Now, what she was trying to tell me. So I found out afterwards. What she was trying to tell me is that they had a special on the ribs.

And they were doing two for one. You've got like, I don't know, five ribs or six ribs. You've got two for one, for the price of one.

Now, I misinterpreted. This is totally true as well, I feel a bit embarrassed a little bit. I misinterpreted what she was saying.

And for what I thought she was saying to me is that she was going to be entering the bikini contest. So I said, are you entering? I pointed at the bikini posters. So you're entering there? And she got upset with me.

She literally walked away. And then someone else came up to me and said, you know, what happened? I said, well, I said, I don't know, but are you entering the bikini contest? And he said, no, I'm the chef. And there was a little bit of miscommunication.

I said, sorry, I didn't honestly. Now, there was another customer sitting next to me or not far by, English. Watching this didn't help me at all.

Just watched and enjoyed it, I think. And said, oh, you messed up there. I said, really, do you think? He said, why did you think that she was talking about the bikini contest? I said, I don't know.

There's just bikini contest posters all around the walls. I said, what else? What else would I think she was talking about? She said, well, she was clearly talking about the rib deal. So how was I to know that? How honestly, how was I to know that that's what she was talking about? And he said to me.

She was holding up a menu. Right in front of you, pointing to the two for one rib deals. And you start looking behind and pointing at the posters on the wall saying.

So you're wearing a big bikini. What kind of bikini? I didn't say what kind of bikini, because that's creepy. But like, who is he going to the bikini contest? Oh, yeah.

I didn't do that either. It was I genuinely it wasn't it wasn't that I was interested in her going to bikini contest. I just thought that's what she was telling me.

I didn't realize when she was pointing at the menu. She was talking about steaks, not the posters. And behind me.

I don't know. I'm sure her to say the word bikini. It's maybe maybe that's just a word for tomato sauce or something.

I don't know. But it was a little bit embarrassing. And she didn't seem to like me after that.

And then the other manager. Before that all happened. I was in there with her.

We were just talking and it's very quiet. It was still. Things weren't busy at that time.

And she closed up and she said, you want to come back with me? And I said, let me think. I suppose I could. I mean, I'm on holiday.

I haven't got to get up in the morning. So, okay, then. I didn't expect her to want to take me home, but I thought, okay, I might as well, you know, nothing better to do.

And. She walked outside. I mean, she didn't lock up because the kitchen staff was still there.

So she just closed the door, put the closed sign up or whatever. And these two motorbikes pulled up. Or mopeds.

And she goes to get on one. Like I said, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, right there. She said, she said, what's wrong? I said.

I'm not getting on one of them. I've no way in the nighttime. This is like 1130 at night.

And I bet you she probably lived in the countryside somewhere. That's not about the Tigers, but I mean, it's. You know, forest and there's some weird stuff.

I heard some weird stuff in that place. Anyway, she it was no messing around. What I wanted to do is say, can we just get a taxi, a car, you know, four wheels and a roof.

And doors, you know. The old fashioned way. But before I thought I'd already said no.

And she just hopped onto the bike and was gone. Like. Oh, and yeah.

I think it's the longest I've ever cried. About three weeks, cried. And she didn't like me after that then.

I saw her the next time I went in there and she's like, you know, it was very kind of cold. It's like I wasn't rejecting her. Blimey, look at me.

How can I reject anything or anyone, anything? You know, I mean, I'm talking about food there, but I don't reject. I'm the recipient of rejection. I don't give it.

Wow. But yeah, I don't think she was impressed. Yeah.

And I had my trousers on, so. It's really weird. It's like everything was going quite well.

Me. I want to look back. Oh, OK.

What's the next thing on here? If he drops his guard. So according to a 2024 paper, men who give up on emotional stoicism. And conversational masculine self-reliance.

Claim to experience much greater relationship satisfaction. And vulnerability emerges at the most telling indicators as the most telling indicators of a true enduring emotional commitment to a partner. Wow, that's the longest sentence in history.

That was literally. There was no full. It was only one full stop.

And there's like one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42. 42 words. In one sentence.

That is a lot, isn't it? I mean, there is commas. But. That's that that reminds me given.

Given me anyone that just won't stop talking other than me. And technically, you think, well, it's easy. It's just say I'm busy.

I've got to go and there's a gap. But I've met a couple of people in the past. Actually, more than a couple where I literally couldn't get away.

It's almost like they were breathing through their feet and they would just move using their mouth just for sound. And I literally couldn't get away and people notice the people that. I'm generalizing, of course, the people I've met that do that.

Aren't great at taking hints. I want to say hints. I mean.

I got things to do. I need to go somewhere. I don't want to talk to you anymore.

Please stop talking. I actually said that to someone in the past and they laughed. Thought I was joking.

And I just keep talking. And talking. And talk and I do that, but I do that for a podcast.

This is. You know, I'm in real life. You got to have.

You got. Can you make a bit more noise, please? Thanks. I mean, in real life, you got two people in a conversation generally.

And both people need to speak in it. You know, I mean. I mean, where I. Know a couple couple of people that always used to be hanging around together and only one of them would ever speak.

And then I saw one of them on their own. The one that never used to speak and they were so chatty. Very, very chatty.

And I remember thinking the next time I went out. I hope they're together again. Yeah.

I'm trying to see what other things would be useful if you come to the UK. And. Right.

If there's a thing in this country, if you go into a restaurant. You basically is like a tradition. If you're in a restaurant like it doesn't have to be a top class restaurant, but generally even.

Probably not McDonald's, but like, you know, like a restaurant, if you're sitting down a restaurant, it's almost like a law really. Once you sat down. Once you've.

Eaten your meal. Sometimes not even finished it, you'd be eating your meal like the first or the starters. At some point, the waiter or the waitress will come around and stand at your table and just say to you.

Do either of you need to do a poo? So that's that's a thing. Now, this could be a little bit embarrassing if you've never had it done before. So what you can do.

Is. When you get into the restaurant. Depending on what kind of situation is there might be a what do they call those people that meet and greet you in restaurants? I forget.

But it might just be the waiter or the waitress. And when you sit you down at a table, just say to them straight away. Just I'm kind of just ask you that neither us need a poo.

During this meal. And then they won't hassle you. So it saves the embarrassment.

OK, so it's just it's something worth knowing if you do come to the UK or England. I don't know about Scotland or Wales, but in the UK, in Britain, in England. I guess there's so many different names for this area, isn't it? UK, Britain, England, Commonwealth.

Used to be Europe, but not anymore. I miss Europe. I do.

I liked it when we were part of Europe. I didn't really take advantage of the situation like travel wise, but. I don't know if it's quite nice to be part of a big, a bigger kind of community, you know.

European. Now I'm no longer European. It's not fair.

It's not. It's not fair. I want to be European again.

I'm 48% Irish. Irish are still European, aren't they? They're still in Europe. So technically, I'm kind of 48% European.

Kind of. Genetically. So I'm trying to think of any other useful tidbits that you might be able to take on board if you was to travel to England.

There is a thing like you might. This might seem weird. There's a thing where when you get off the plane.

It's customary to kiss the tarmac. Like, you know, you actually get off. It doesn't.

I don't know if it's tarmac, but basically when you get down the ladder. Hopefully, it's a ladder, not a slide, because you won't probably have time to do anything. You don't want to run, won't you? But if it's landed properly and you're walking down the ladder.

Actually. No. You can only do that.

If you did, you do get off on the because sometimes you can get off on the runway, can't you? And you walk a bit. I'm just trying to think. Basically, you have to wait.

It used to be customary because they didn't used to have the things where they'd pull it up to you and you'd walk through and like a tube and then you'd go into the airport. Now. Is when you get.

Out of the airport, because technically the airport isn't. It's kind of like a no no man's land kind of. But once you get out of the airport.

And he's supposed to kiss the ground. It's just a normal thing. Only three times.

It's just standard. Used to be customary to lick the ground, but we don't do that anymore. Because that's weird.

Trying to think what other things. Now, I don't know if you realize. The the police used to be called Bobby's.

After Robert. What's his name? The person that that created the police force, something called Robert. Robert Townsend or something.

But that's why they were called Bobby's. Bobby's on the beat. So the police that you'd see with the uniforms on they were Bobby's.

This is this is true. And. So if you actually need to get the attention of the police.

Then you just if you want to. It's not so much attention. It's about respect.

So if you see a police person. In the street. Then you say.

Hello, Bobby. Hello, Bobby. Usually have in pairs.

You are allowed to say hello, Bobby's. Because, you know, to save you saying it twice. But you can say it twice.

I mean, they don't mind. But it is kind of expected just to say. Hello, Bobby.

Just out of. Yeah, it's just. Common standards.

Kindness, I suppose. I mean, this whole country's been built upon those types of standards and traditions. Saying thank you.

And yes. And not yes, but saying thank you. And please.

And all that stuff. Because. I'm not.

I don't know if it's the case, but I've seen an American TV shows and movies when. Really, Vinnie? Can you make a little noise? Blimey. Sounds like it's got a hammer and chisel down there.

I've seen some American TV shows and movies where people go up to a bar and said scotch scotch on the rocks. Like you can't do that here. You do that here and you probably you might get kicked out because it's rude.

I know it might not be rude in America, but here it's rude. You know, you have to say thank you. And please.

And you also have to introduce yourself to the person behind the bar. OK. Hello.

My name is Juicy JJ. And I will be your customer. And probably for the next hour or so.

Don't know how many drinks I'm going to be ordering. But. Yeah, that's it.

It's just a standard thing. But then. They will ask you what you're having.

Generally, like what are you having, sir, madam? What they do now, though, just in case you don't like to get it wrong. They do say, sir, madam. They say, sir, madam, instead of sir or madam.

They say, sir, madam. How can I help you, sir, madam? And just covers all angles, really. And when you order a drink, let's say it's a pint of Carlsberg.

Who drinks Carlsberg? But, you know, a pint of Foster's or something. And you say, oh, I'd very much like a pint of Foster's, please, sir. If you'd be ever so kind.

And when they give you the Foster's, you say, thank you ever so much. Thank you. Very grace.

OK, you haven't got to say it's very gracious of you. But, you know, saying thank you is very much courtesy. Courtesy.

What's it? Courtesy. See, that's another thing that we do. So when you actually get the drink, you courtesy or you bow to say thank you.

And. We don't give tips, you know, that whole thing about giving tips to people. That's not really a thing in England.

But what you do do. So if you've got a bar manager or a barman or whatever, and you're happy with service. What you do is you go up to him.

Or her. And you kiss their hand to say thank you. Don't just grab their hand because that would be wrong.

And. But what you do is you say, oh, I'd like to thank you. I'd like to give you a tip.

So then they know that you want to kiss their hand and that's your way of saying thank you. They don't accept money. Because most people that work in catering, whether it's waiters, chefs, bar staff, anything in catering in England, they don't get wages.

They don't actually earn money. What they do is they get paid in vouchers, Amazon vouchers. So it can actually work out more money than if they got a salary.

The thing is, they have to swap the vouchers over. The problem is when they got to pay rent and stuff. So it can be a little bit difficult for them to swap it over in order to use them as currency.

But it seems to work. So if you really want to tip them, you can give them like a little Amazon voucher. But you have to be very, very sneaky about it because you're not really supposed to accept it.

You see. And if you really, really enjoy the service and you appreciate what they've done, then he's just farted like really badly. How can he not know he's done it though? It's really rank.

Now, if you really want to say thank you, then another way to do it is you give them a budgie. But it has to be in a cage. You have to be sneaky with this one.

So the best way to do it is to cover the budgie cage with a big white cloth. That way, no one's going to notice what you're doing. That's restaurants covered.

If you're a vegetarian, you have to take your own vegetables. Yes, that's another thing. They don't tell you that, do they? If you come to England on holiday and you're a vegetarian, you have to take your own vegetables in with you.

So you have to go to the supermarket and buy some. I mean, you can buy them from the market store, but it's better if you get them in packaging. That way, the people in the kitchen can see what they are.

Because it's better to have a package that says carrots on it, other than just trying to figure out what this orange thing is. You can get confused. What other things is there that might be useful? I'm trying to think of financial things.

Yeah, if you see, if someone asks you for money on the street, let's say they're sitting there drawing or something like that, then if you ignore them, there's someone standing by that counts how many times they're ignored. By people walking past. So they might be there holding a cardboard thing saying, please don't ignore me.

What Jason said on the podcast is all lies. But you know, so whatever has been written and every time someone ignores that person, it gets another person standing close by, ticks the box and keeps a track of all the people. And at the end of the day, they get money for every time someone walks past and ignores them.

It's like a government sponsored thing. They can have money or they can have McDonald's burgers. You know, they can have it in different currency.

Yeah, I think it depends if you're hungry or not. And if you love burgers, and if you love burgers, then at the end of the day, getting like 300 burgers, I suppose, lovely, but. I don't know how many people could eat 300 burgers though, do you? In reality.

I'm trying to think is. Oh, yeah. In McDonald's.

Oh, you didn't know this. Oh, we might not know this. In McDonald's in England.

If you. You know, if you like. You want some free food and sometimes we just maybe don't have enough money on you or you just you don't have any cash.

You don't want to use the card machine or whatever. Now. If you start dancing in front, you have to catch one of the employees eyes.

Not catch their eyes, literally not chucking their eyes around. But you have to kind of, you know, get the attention of one of the staff and start dancing just on your own. Ideally.

Tap dancing and humming at the same time. But I know not everybody can tap dance. Most people can hum.

I would say like. You have to do a little bit louder so that people can hear. And doesn't work quite as well in a really busy, busy McDonald's or peak time.

But it's quite good. And then what they do is depends on how well you did. You generally get judged by that three employees and they'll hold up cards saying OK, rubbish, go away, wonderful.

One employee in one of my local McDonald's. He has little golden buzzer. Doesn't do anything.

He just loves it. He's got it on account. He presses it.

Nothing happens. But it gives him a thrill, which is the main thing. So you can get a free burger if you just dance.

Another way, if you're. Because we're very. We realize, I mean, in this country, in England, I'm saying England because I'm not quite sure how it is in Scotland or Wales or.

Even like Northern Ireland, it might not be like that, but in where I am. Like in the south, it might not even be like this in the north, but I think it is pretty much universal within the country. If you're on holiday.

And if you provide proof that you're on holiday. So it can just be. I mean, it can be a passport.

I don't know. I don't think walking around with passports necessarily a good idea, but it can be like a ticket. It could be.

You can have like a ticket from the plane or. A stub or maybe a ticket from Madame Tussauds or the going to. The London Museum or something like that.

The only tourists do because no one living in this country would go to those places. So or if you visit Big Ben or or if you bought like a Union Jack hat to wear. Because generally, well, that actually be fair.

You do get more that these days. Civilians wearing that stuff like that. But.

So if you can prove that you're a tourist on holiday. You can go into McDonald's. I think this works in Burger King as well.

But I think you need. Yeah, I'm pretty sure you need to wear Wellington boots for Burger King. I don't know why.

And so if you go into McDonald's. And all you have to do is just say. You hold up the proof that you're.

On holiday that you're a tourist. And just walk to the front and you'll get served first. And because.

You know, it's part of our heritage, our culture, realizing how important tourism is. To all parts of the country without tourism, I think we'd be in trouble. So we like to put tourists first.

So you can just walk into a place like McDonald's and just go straight to the front of the queue. The same is with cinemas as well. Or if you're an event outside event and there's a hot dog stand or a burger stand or ice cream stand.

Just walk through to the front. It's fine. So it's got to show a little bit of ID.

Just like look. I went to Madame Tussauds. And that no one's going to question whether or not you're a tourist.

Because you went to Madame Tussauds or you can say another thing you can do is say. If they say prove that you some people would do this. Okay, there are a few rascals out there.

The kind of will say. Prove that you're a tourist. So there's a sure way to do it.

And what this is, is say, well, okay. Earlier on, I went to Leicester Square. And they'll just lift through to the front.

See, so it's so many ways around it to prove. But it's really good. I try to think what other things that are that could be really good.

What we really enjoy over here is especially if there's large groups of tourists. We love it when you speak your own language. There's something about that.

It just it warms up the English heart. So if you go into a restaurant, speak in your own language. We actually prefer that.

I say we not I'm nothing to do this. I'm just I just try and follow the rules. But if you go somewhere, ask directions, speak in your own language.

Because especially the police, the police know all languages. Or the bobbies. They know all languages.

But if you speak in English, they won't answer. They'll get offended. So if you're from Thailand, America, Denmark, Germany, speak in your own language.

And ask directions to the bobby. But you must say bobby in English. Oi, bobby.

And then je m'appelle petit penny or whatever, whatever you are looking for. And they will know they're trained in all languages. It's it's one of the things is I don't know quite how how it works.

But yeah, it's a very, very skillful job to be a bobby. And what else? Public toilets. OK, so if you do need to do a wee wee or, you know, the other one, public toilets.

It's very important that. You wear a dress if you go into the men's toilets or the women's toilets. It's really important that you dress up.

So if you're a man, you must wear a dress. I mean, you've got to wear a dress all the time and you can rent them. There's actually like a wardrobe.

You know, those hang those racks that where you put like dresses and stuff on. You can rent one out for like two pound or something. They're shabby, they're shaggy, they're horrible.

They're not not nice. I mean, some of them don't even smell very good. But that's what you must wear if you're going to go into toilets.

And but once you've got that on, you can use either toilets fine, men's or women's. If the men's are busy, you can use the women's and they welcome it. That's another thing.

They were very open society here. And. Men and women use each other's toilets all the time.

It's not not a thing anymore. Used to be a bit of an issue, but now it's everyone's open. But if you're a man, if you're a tourist, not if you live here, it's different.

But if you're a tourist, you need to wear a dress. And but not just your own dress. You need to wear one that's.

I personally, I think this is just a bit of a con to get money out of tourists. To say that you're not allowed to turn up in your own dress seems a bit rude. But they they insist that you wear their dress that they rent.

And I said, well, what if they're already wearing a dress? What if the man's already wearing a dress and they turn up? They said, well, they have to put this dress on over it. The one that they're wearing, the dress that they're wearing. It's like.

That doesn't seem very fair. I remember the bloke with the. The one renting the dresses, he said to me, yeah.

That was it, that's what he said. Actually, the second thing he said is I could really do some tomato soup. And it's really weird because, you know, when you're not thinking about something and someone brings it up.

And I thought, you know what? All this talking about toilets has made me hungry for some tomato soup. And he said, what do you mean hungry? It's soup, it's not food, is it? I said, yeah, but if you put stuff into it, it turns into food. He said, like what? I said meat and potatoes, fish fingers.

Steak. Vegetables. Cabbage.

He said, cabbage is vegetables. I said, I know, but only three people in the whole of this country like cabbage. So, you know, we don't really class it as vegetables anymore, do we? He said, well, I thought it was five people.

I said, no, it's three now. So, what happened to the other two? Oh, they don't like it anymore. Oh, okay.

It was a bit of an anticlimax to that story. He said, I know, but you know, you can't climax every time. And we giggled, we rolled around giggling.

So, I'm trying to think what else, what other things. Um, yeah, it's basically, it's a good place to visit. If you, if it starts to see, don't worry about the weather, because we do have a fair bit of rain here.

But if you just come out without a number, you don't need a brolly. Because if it does start raining, you can just take someone else's brolly. You don't just take it.

You say, look, I have your brolly, please. Thank you. And show them that I'm a visitor.

And they'll give you their brolly. And it might hold it for you even. I mean, if you ask them.

But generally, it does give you the brolly and you just wear that. It's like a coat. If you come out without a coat and it gets cold.

You just look for someone, see if there's anyone with a coat. That you could wear and say, can I have your coat, please? I'm getting a bit cold. They'll say, certainly, sir or madam.

And they'll just give you their coat. It's the kind of place that this is, that I live in. It's a very kind and giving place.

Very focused on being open and receptive to people from overseas. That's what we're famous for. Our hospitality.

And what other things. If you. If you know when sometimes you're on holiday, you just like you feel like you spent enough money for the day.

Even if you've got like five thousand pounds in your wallet. Just you think, well, you know what? I've spent too much money and you decide that you want to get a taxi home. But you don't want to pay for it.

All you do is you hail a taxi. And you pull up and say, take me to whatever hotel you're staying in or whatever. And just say, before we get in, just let you know, I don't want to pay you anything.

And the taxi driver will say, that's fine. That's OK. Good.

Oh, then that's that's like, I don't know why taxi drivers say that, but they're like, good. Oh, good. Weird, isn't it? Weird way to talk.

And then you. Then you just go. The thing is, some of the taxi drivers are a little bit sneaky.

Because what they'll do, especially if it's a long journey. Even if it's a short journey, they'll take the long way around. And you think, well, what's the point in that if I'm not paying? Ah, but they have a trick.

It's called talking to you. And after about five or ten minutes of them talking to you, you'll be begging to pay them. To flap their ears.

Why are you just staring at me? Are you hungry, Vinnie? Are you? Are you hungry? Is that what be going on? Do my baby be hungry? Are you hungry? Do you want your dinner? Do you want your num-nums? Do you want your num-nums? I'm trying to think what other things there is. No, there's probably more stuff. Maybe I need to make a podcast just on, you know, tips for people, visitors to this country.

Tourists, because I think it might be quite useful, wouldn't it? Anyway, I'm going to go and get him some din-dins because he's hung-hungry. Are you hung-hungry? Do you want some food-food? Do you want some num-nums? Do you? Okay. Right, so thank you.

This was supposed to be Monday's Boring Objects, so I'm going to call it Tips for Tourists. Okay. Technically, I don't know how long I've really talked about tips for tourists, but yeah.

It's close enough. It might have been about half an hour. Maybe it was 40 minutes.

Maybe it was an hour. I genuinely don't know, because I know I did talk about a yellow hat, but that was, that seems like ages ago. And I talked about the internet at the college library.

That seems like a long time ago. Yeah, there was that meaningful story with the lady in the park, and that was quite a while ago. I've had a few little interruptions with Vin-Vin.

Nothing major. Just like him making weird sounds, ripping a bag apart, and flapping his big flappy ears. You haven't even got flappy ears, have you? You've got the cutest ears in the whole wide world.

Yes, you have. Yes, you have. See, I know he doesn't want treats.

Oh, I just said the wrong word. I meant to say food. He doesn't want food.

He wants the other thing that I just said. Don't you? Do you want your dinner? Do you want your din-dins? Do you want your num-nums? Num-nums. Do you want... He's looking for where the... It's coming from.

It's me, look. Well, anyway. That's me done for today.

Let's have a look. Yeah, maybe that's what I need to do. Like a podcast.

Maybe even write a book. For tourists. Like a guide book for tourists.

Yeah. That would be good, wouldn't it? I hope it's been useful. So, thank you for listening.

Remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy. Be gentle with yourself. You deserve to feel safe.

Lots of love. Bye.