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Hello, hello and welcome to Wednesday's Whispers. My name is Jason Newland. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.
So this is Wednesday the 24th of September. Blah, blah, blah. I keep hearing little crinklings and sounds.
Why? I have literally, literally just got out of bed. So this is the second microphone I've used during this recording. And my morning breath destroyed the last one.
It melted it. It's okay. I brushed my teeth, I'm okay now.
So, I'm trying to think what's happening, what's going on in life. Trying to remember what did I dream about. Bearing in mind it's only like quite recent, isn't it? I was lying in bed.
Fast asleep. I don't know. Excuse me.
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. No, not much going on. I started watching EastEnders again after pretty much years and years of not watching it.
I dip into it sometimes. But I've actually watched it. I think I've watched one, two, three, three or four episodes in a row on television when they are being aired.
So, I mean sometimes, sometimes I would go on to the BBC player, iPlayer. I wonder why it's called an iPlayer. I don't think it's got anything to do with being an iPhone.
No one's ever questioned that, have they? No, only me. First time ever. But on the iPlayer, I have at times watched the, like back to back, a few episodes.
I'm just going to look, see what they're... Okay, just see what's in the news. Okay, nothing. Er, Ingrid Oliver.
Ingrid Oliver, never heard of her. Richard Osman admits meeting his wife Ingrid Oliver was the best thing that ever happened to him. What's this? He's got an eye condition that affects his writing.
Richard Osman has gushed over his wife Ingrid Oliver. Okay, that's not really family entertainment, is it? The author, 54, met the actress, 48, when she appeared as a guest on his BBC quiz show, House of Games. Oh, how lovely.
No, it is, it's lovely I'm sure, but I don't know why it's in the news. Human being falls in love with another human being. There's not... Hong Kong.
Wow. Right, so Hong Kong's got some really, really strong weather at the moment. It's called Typhoon Regassa.
Blimey. It's the most powerful tropical cyclone this year. I'm not sure.
What is a cyclone? Because it said it's a very strong hurricane. Wait a minute, let's have a look and see what it says. A cyclone is a large air mass that rotates around a strong centre of low atmospheric pressure.
It is characterised by inward spiralling winds that rotate counterclockwise in the northern hemisphere and clockwise in the southern hemisphere. Cyclones can manifest in various forms, primarily as tropical cyclones and extratopic cyclones and are often associated with strong winds and heavy rainfall. These systems are formed by the energy exchanged between the ocean and the atmosphere.
Cyclones are known by different names depending on their location. For example, they are called hurricanes in the North Atlantic and typhoons in the North and West Pacific. Ah, okay, so a cyclone is a hurricane.
Fair enough. Whirlwind. Isn't that another word for it? Whirlwind.
Where the wind is just like... So what is it in America? In Torrefee County, Torrefee country, they have a whistle of Oz, Torrefee. Twirlers. So that's a cyclone, isn't it? A twirler.
It's a little bit like The Walking Dead. Everyone's got a name, a different name for them. Whenever people meet each other in the show The Walking Dead from different parts of the country, they all call The Walking Dead something different.
The Munchers. The Sleepers. The Dirtbags or whatever.
The Bastards. The Brain Gobblers. You know, they've all got their own little name.
Which I find ironic. Because there's these creatures walking around. They're dead, but they're walking around.
Attacking humans. And they spread all over the world. And not one person... Not one person... has thought... to call them zombies.
Not one person in the entire world, in that show, thought, you know what? This isn't just similar to a zombie. It's identical to what a zombie is. Let's call them zombies.
No. Let's call them creepers. Let's call them... Munchy Munchers.
Feet Sniffers. I don't know. Whatever.
Cyclone. Typhoon. It's a type of tea in the UK.
Typhoon. So someone says to you, do you like typhoons? And I said, yeah. Three sugars, please.
Okay, right. Rosie O'Donnell. There's something about her and being friends with Ellen DeGeneres.
Bob Villan. I'm just looking at the news, seeing anything that's slightly interesting. Chris Evans is incredible for saying crazy questions.
What questions? Is he going to be returning as Captain America, maybe? So this is MSN. It was probably about 17 years too late. Many actors must transform their physical appearance on a regular basis.
Especially those tasked with portraying superheroes. Will he be back to pick up a shield once again? At the world premiere of the film Sacrifice at the Toronto Film Festival. Several questions were raised about Chris Evans.
Best known for Captain America. In the Marvel Universe. The double D, 44 year old actor, appeared on the red carpet in impressive physical shape.
Having gained significant muscle mass since his role in the film Materialists earlier this year. I don't know. Could he be preparing for an appearance in Avengers Doomday? Well, the thing is with the Avengers.
It's based in, they can kind of get away with anything can't they? Because they go into different versions, like of the multiverse. So they find another universe where Captain America works in McDonalds or something. You know, cause there's lots of different things, it's quite interesting.
A bit of a mind wobble but it's still. Charlie. Hunnam's dramatic transformation.
Okay. Wow. Grey's Anatomy.
No. This is so sad. There's a lot of stuff about Sarah Ferguson.
You've got Alison Hammond. Lost Leavenstone. That's a lot of skin, isn't it? Yeah.
That's the thing that used to concern me about losing too much weight. I don't want my, I just don't want flaps. Flaps of skin just wobbling around.
You know. But it's never happened so I'm okay. Plus I've never been, I mean, yeah.
I've been 16 stone. I've done about 100 kilos. But that's different from being 150 kilos, you know.
Or 300 pounds. 330 pounds or whatever that would be. So it's a little bit different but.
I think. It's just my personal experience. Is.
Just losing weight. Slowly. It's the best way.
Personally. Okay, let's have a look. Japanese use this trick for sleep apnea.
It's genius. Let's have a look then. I shave their beard off.
Really? What on earth is going on? I'm just reading it. Okay. Just check I'm just reading it.
I should read it out loud really, shouldn't I? Okay. Okay. Okay.
Okay. Right, so they're going through all this stuff and now. Oh, they're trying to sell a pillow.
The simple solution my wife discovered. That's when my wife found the. Dorilla ergo pillow online.
At first I was skeptical. How could a pillow solve what expensive medical devices couldn't? But then my wife gave me an ultimatum. Tried a pillow or get comfortable with the basement couch.
When it arrived, I was desperate enough to try anything. The first few minutes felt different, but then something amazing happens. I slept through the entire night.
No snoring. No gasping. No waking up the next morning.
I found Jamie in the kitchen beaming. You didn't have a sound all night, she said. Okay.
I might give that a try. Okay. How much are they charging for this? Ergo pillow.
Hey. Let's have a look. That's strange.
Right, okay. They're trying to get. They're trying to work.
Make it sound good. First of all, they're offering a 70% discount. Nana's saying, think about it this way.
One visit to a sleep specialist. $200 to $300. A CPAP machine.
$500 to $1,000. Monthly CPAP supplies. $50 to $100.
No, that's wrong. Chiropractor visit for neck pain. $70 per session.
So get the Dorillo Ergo pillow today for a fraction of the cost. How much are they going to sell it for? It's still not giving me the price. Blimey.
Making me work for it. Okay, a 70% discount. Okay, here we go.
Your 70% discount ends in 14 minutes and 36 seconds. Select quantity. Four.
One pillow is £59.99. Two pillows £99.98. Three pillows £137.97. Four pillows £159.96. I'm going to save this link. Because I want to see how much it is in an hour's time. Save it.
Okay. Because I think they're being a bit... Oh, and it's just giving loads of... Every few seconds a little thing's coming up saying... Emily from Shropshire just purchased one. Ian from Milton Keynes made a purchase.
Three pillows. Who's next? I'm getting excited here. Who's going to be the next person to order one? Rojet from Exeter.
Rojet. There's no such name as Rojet. They're making it up.
I think they're making it up. Hannah from Enfield has bought three. So they're really pushing for people to buy more than one.
Why would you need more than one? Canvey from London. Three. So everyone's going for three for some reason.
Maybe it's because it's £137.97. Oh, another one. John from Gateshead. Make a purchase.
Why is no one buying anything from other countries? Why is it just Great Britain? Maybe it's because we're so great. We don't need to make Britain great again. We've always been great.
We still are. Can you imagine calling yourself great? Can you imagine like... Where are you from? I'm from France. What about you, Germany? I'm from Great Britain.
Everyone else would feel a little bit... I don't know. A little bit less than maybe. Maybe a little bit envious.
Maybe a little bit annoyed even. We should have called ourselves Great France. We should have called ourselves Great Germany.
We should have called ourselves Great Belgium. No one's purchased one. For a few minutes now.
Which makes me think they're trying to... I wonder... I sometimes think... If I say... How come no one's bought just one? I bet you one will come up now. In the next 30 seconds. Say, how come no one's bought just one? Must be a con.
Because it's always saying that three people... They buy three. But just one. How come just one? Hey.
Still nothing. I'm relatively patient sometimes but... This is just... No. I don't have time for this.
Wow. They're charging £9.95 for shipping. Cheeky.
That is so cheeky. So to charge £59.99 and then to charge £10 for shipping. That's... I think that's a bit... Yeah, that's cheeky.
Yeah. Although... I'm kind of thinking that I might like to... Try it out. After all that.
In fact, I might. Not today. Not tomorrow.
But someday. Maybe. Just have a look.
See what the stats are on SoundCloud. Okay. What about Facebook? Let's have a look.
See if there's any... Messages. I've got a question. On Facebook.
Something I've noticed. On Facebook. The amount of people that post stuff.
Where... They're assuming that everyone else is going to understand. What they're talking about. And I don't know why but that... Annoys me a little bit.
People posting things like... I can't stand listening to his voice anymore. Okay, can you give me some more information? Just like... Why would you assume that everyone listening to you... Or reading a Facebook page... From around the world is going to know... What you're talking about? Just seems a bit strange. What's this? Okay.
Okay. Just looking... Looks to me like just another made up story about boxing. He looks familiar.
George is Wenzig. Wenzig. Say that slowly.
Don't say it too quickly. Wenzig. Wenzig.
X-R-E-E-R-G-X. Xenarx. Okay, got a butterfly.
Okay. Just looking at a picture of a little puppy. They are so cute, aren't they puppies? I think what we need to do is find puppies that stay puppies.
Although I think they always stay puppies mentally. I'm kind of okay because I've got a tiny little dog. I mean he was a hell of a lot smaller when he was a puppy.
Just looking at Dorian Yates' video. When he was Mr. Olympia. I remember years ago when I worked in a chip shop.
There was this... But it was a little like seaside town I lived in. And we went through a little period of opening on Sundays. Because of the traffic, you know, the foot traffic.
Or maybe we'd get a lot more people. So we did. I said... My boss decided to do it, not me.
And... There was this one Sunday. Loads of people coming down. Travelling down for the day from local towns and... I see this man and a woman.
And... She looked like a glamour model. And he was clearly a bodybuilder. Huge, just walking around.
Wobbling, not wobbling but... She was wobbling but he was... Not wobbling but he was... Plodding. I'm not sure if he had his top off. But he was... You know that limit, you've got people that are... Well toned, you've got people that are... You've got nice muscles.
And then you've got people that are just huge. He was one of those people. Just huge.
I wonder what it's like being Mr. Olympia. I mean, devoting every... Pretty much every second of his life to the sport. I know a little bit about Dorian Yates.
I think he's... One of the most successful... Bodybuilders... In history. Together with Lee Haney and... A couple of others. Obviously Arnold as well.
But... Apparently right from the start... He kept track of every... Set of weights that he did. Every exercise. Every meal.
Every measurement of ingredients. For every meal. Right from the start.
So he could keep track of what he was doing and... Plan meticulously. Maliciously. Or whatever.
Plan it all. And gauge how things are working from... The results. And I guess... Matching the results next to the effort.
And the diet. To gauge... Which best route to take. To maybe... Have more of this or less of that.
Do more exercise on that body part or less on the other. I don't know. I just, I feel like I heard it.
I heard him say. Anyway, I'm gonna go and get my breakfast. So thank you for listening.
And remember to be kind to yourself. You deserve to be happy. Be gentle with yourself.
You deserve to feel safe. Lots of love. Bye.
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.