(10 hours) #9 MY LORD BAG OF POO - Jasons Bed Time Story Time

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Jason's storytime bedtime or bedtime storytime one of them. Please only listen and you can safely close your eyes and it's basically me telling you or reading stories most of them being very old and out of copyright so that in the public domain this was a case of me fighting stuff.

I found some quite large books but um sort of like the Wizard of Oz is one that I'm going to be able to read and a few others and luckily we've got some cars in the background which is nice and so what I thought I'd do today I'm going to save this see oh no no no that's the wrong one, add to reading list.

These are Japanese fairy tales compiled by Yuu Fyodora Ozaki profusely illustrated by Japanese artists profusely and it's 1908 this is from and so what I thought I would do is read you so it's Tokyo 1908 and there's a few stories I thought I'd just read one to you today called My Lord Bag of Rice.

So there's nothing for you to do and I'm just going to read this short story and you can just relax and let my voice send you to sleep now I've not read this before so I'm reading it for the first time which is the same way as saying I've not read it before but as it's Japanese, I mean it's not going to be in Japanese I'm not going to try and read you I wouldn't know how but there'll be some I can see there's some Japanese words that I may not

pronounce in a way that is correct and I just want to assure you that in no way do I care so just letting you know that you know I'm not I'll do my best but I'm not bothered you know I'll just I'll just read it as I see it and I think we'll all we'll all get through it'll it'll be all right in the end I don't think so so I didn't even know the Japanese had fairy tales so this is quite cool I know that the Japanese have got very

poetic a lot of poetry in Japan but so this is 1908 and this is the what was it old D learning to fly a plane and so the first okay starts off can I ask you a question please the trainee pilot said to the instructor and the instructor said why is it and the trainee pilot said to the instructor asked him how come you're not teaching us how to land I know it's a different footnote though so this this story is called my lord bag of rice long long ago there

lived in Japan a brave warrior known to all as Tawara Toda or my lord bag of rice you can imagine someone giving you a name and you're old enough to ask what it means daddy yes Tawara what does does my name have meaning because it was in school and some people said that their their names they had meanings and my friend Billy this is before we we swapped sandwiches because I didn't want cheese because I had cheese yesterday and he he had a sausage roll and we swapped and then we

went and played marbles and skipping and but then he said to me that we um his name had to had meaning and he said he said to me what Billy this is but he said what did you what did you um well Jonathan also came along because he'd just been swimming and his hair was wet but they didn't matter because it was sunny outside and the teacher said that it shouldn't really matter because it's sunny outside and it's hot and therefore he shouldn't need to have to dry his hair and

um and then Billy I said to Billy um what did you say and he said why oh yeah the hair the name the name is his name means something and he said to me Tawara I said yeah he said no what does Tawara mean and I said I don't know what does Tawara Toda mean I said I don't it's my name isn't it it's a way of communication yeah I hear it a lot just it's don't know and so I thought I'd ask you daddy and then his dad said oh

that's okay son it means my lord bag of rice oh how's brilliant lovely you've named me a bag of rice okay sorry I'm just scratching the uh uh thing okay anyway his true name was Fujiwara Hidesato and there is a very interesting story of how he came to change his name damn that makes me feel silly now because that wasn't actually his name was it damn anyway forget that one day he sallied forth I don't know what sallied means traveled maybe in search of adventures for he had the nature of

a warrior and could not bear to be idle so he buckled on his two swords took his huge bow much taller than himself in his hand and slinging his quiver it's hard to say the word quiver without quivering his quiver on his back started out he had not gone far when he came to the bridge of Sita no Karashi spanning one end of the beautiful lake Biwa no sooner had he set foot on the bridge than he saw lying right across his path a huge serpent dragon its body was so

big that it looked like a trunk of a large pine tree and it took up the whole width of the bridge one of its huge claws rested on the parapet of one side of the bridge while its tail lay right against the other the monster seemed to be asleep and as it breathed fire and smoke came out of its nostrils at first Hideseto could not help feeling alarmed at the sight of this horrible reptile lying in his path for he must either turn back or walk right over its body there's

only two options i definitely wouldn't want to walk over a dragon would you i'd turn back for a taxi or something hot air balloon would be a way to do it he was a brave man however and putting aside all fear went forward dauntlessly dauntlessly there's another word for idiot stupidly crunch crunch he stepped now on the dragon's body i guess we make a sound for that that's crunch or if i was the one doing the walking ow ow what are you doing on my body get off he stepped now

on the dragon's body now between its coils and without even one glance backwards he went on his way see in some ways you i think the weirdest part of that story the most unbelievable part is the fact that he walked over it not the dragon part just the fact that he walked over it i'm not sure if i believe it but yeah that's cynical me i guess okay let's get on the story he had only gone a few steps when he heard someone calling him from behind on turning back he

was much surprised to see that the monster dragon had entirely disappeared and in its place was a strange looking man who was bowing most ceremoniously to the ground his red hair streamed over his shoulders and was surmounted by a crown in the shape of a dragon's head and his sea green dress was patterned with shells Hidesato knew at once that this was no ordinary immortal and he wondered much at the strange occurrence where had the dragon gone in such a short space of time or had it transformed itself into this

man and what did the whole thing mean while these thoughts passed through his mind he had come up to the man on the bridge and now addressed him was it you that called me just now here it was i answered the man i have an earnest request to make to you do you think you can grant it to me if it is my power to do so i will answered Hidesato but first tell me who you are i am the dragon king of the lake and my home is in these

waters just under this bridge and what is it that you have to ask of me said Hidesato i want you to kill my mortal enemy the centipede who lives on the mountain beyond the dragon pointed to a high peak on the opposite shore of the lake i have lived now for many years in this lake and i have a large family of children and grandchildren for some time past we have lived in terror for a monster centipede has discovered our home and night after night it comes and carries off one

of my family i am powerless to save them if it goes on much longer like this not only shall i lose all of my family but i must myself must fall victim to the monster i am therefore very unhappy and in my extremities i decided to ask the help of a human being for many days with this intention i have waited on the bridge in the shape of the horrible servant dragon that you saw in the hope that some strong brave man would come along but now they came along this

way as soon as they saw me they were terrified and they ran away as fast as they could you are the first man i have found able to look at me without fear i knew at once that you were the man of great courage i'll beg you to have pity upon me will you not help me and kill my enemy the centipede the warrior felt very sorry for the dragon king on hearing his story and readily promised to do what he could to help him the warrior asked where the centipede

lived so that he might attack the creature at once the dragon king replied that its home was on the mountain mikami but that it came every night at a certain hour to the palace of the lake it would be better to wait till then so hidesato was conducted to the palace of the dragon king under the bridge strange to say as he followed his host downwards the water parted to let them pass and his clothes did not even feel damp as he passed through the flood never had hidesato seen anything

so beautiful as this palace built of white marble beneath the lake he had often heard of the sea king's palace at the bottom of the sea where all the servants and retainers were saltwater fishers but here was a magnificent building in the heart of lake biwa the dainty goldfishes red red carp and silvery trout waited on the dragon king and his guest hidesato was astonished at the feast that was spread for him the dishes were crystallized lotus leaves and flowers and the chopsticks were of the rarest ebony and every live

together in perfect harmony as soon as they sat down the sliding doors opened and 10 lovely goldfish dancers came out and behind them followed 10 red carp musicians with the koto and the samisen getting a little bit too erotic this is a thus the hours flew by to a midnight and the beautiful music and dancing had banished all thoughts of the centipede the dragon king was about to pledge the warrior in a fresh cup of wine when the palace was suddenly shaken by a tramp tramp or that's my impression of

the sound of a tramp as if a mighty army had began to march not far away hidesato and his host both rose to their feet and rushed to the balcony and the warrior saw of the opposite mountain two great balls of glowing fire coming nearer and nearer the dragon king stood by the warrior's side trembling with fear for centipede the centipede those two balls of fire are his eyes it is coming for its prey now is the time to kill it hidesato looked where his host pointed and in the dim

light of the starlit evening behind the two balls of fire he saw the long body of an enormous centipede winding around the mountains and the light in its hundred feet glowed like so many distant lanterns moving slowly towards the shore hidesato showed not the least sign of fear he tried to calm the dragon king but don't be afraid i shall i shall surely kill the centipede bring me my bow and arrows the dragon king did as he was bid and the warrior noticed that he had only three arrows left in

his river he took the bow and fitting an arrow to the notch took careful aim and let fly the arrow hit the centipede right in the middle of its head but instead of penetrating it glanced off harmless and fell to the ground nothing daunted hidesato took another arrow fitted it to the notch of the bow and let fly again the arrow hit the mark it struck the centipede right in the middle of its head only to glance off and fall to the ground the centipede was invulnerable to weapons when the

dragon king saw that even this brave warrior's arrows were powerless to kill the centipede he lost heart and began to tremble with fear the warrior saw that he had now only one arrow left in his cool river and if this one failed he could not kill the centipede he looked across the waters the huge reptile has wound its horrible body seven times around the mountain and would soon come down the lake seven times it's specific isn't it nearer and nearer gleamed fireballs of eyes and lights of its hundred feet began to throw reflections in the still water and suddenly the warrior remembered that he had heard that human saliva was deadly to centipedes really?

but this was no ordinary centipede this was so monstrous that even to think of a such a creature made one creep with horror hidesato decided to try his last chance so taking his last arrow and first putting the end of it in his mouth he fitted the notch to his bow took careful aim once more and let fly this time the arrow hit centipede right in the middle of his head but instead of glancing off harmlessly the centipede took a deep breath and as harmlessly as before it stuck home to

the creature's brain then the convulsive shudder of a serpentine its body stopped moving and the fiery light of its gray ties and hundred feet darkened to a dull glare like the sunset of a stormy day and then went out to blackness a great darkness now overspread the heavens the thunder rolled and lightning flashed and the wind roared in fury and it seemed as if the world were coming to an end then he realized it was just a storm and it happens often though at the dragon king and his children and

retainers all crouched in different parts of the palace frightened to death for the building was shaken to its foundations at last the dreadful night was over day dawn beautiful and clear the centipede was gone from the mountain then hidesato called to the dragon king to come out with him on the balcony for the centipede was dead and he had nothing more to fear then all the inhabitants of the palace came out and with joy and hidesato pointed to the lake there lay the body of the dead centipede floating on the

water which was dyed red with its blood you asleep yet happy dreams the gratitude of the dragon king knew no bounds the whole family came bound down before the warrior calling him their preserver and the bravest warrior in all japan another feast was prepared more sumptuous than the first all kinds of fish prepared in every imaginable way raw stew boiled and roasted served on coral trays and crystal dishes were put before him and the wine was the best that hideasato had ever tasted in his life to add to the beauty

of everything the sunshine shone brightly the lake glistened like a liquid diamond and the palace was a thousand times more beautiful than by day his host tried to persuade the warrior to stay a few days but hideasato insisted on going home saying that he had now finished what he had come to do and must return the dragon king and his family were all very sorry to have him leave so soon but since he would go they begged him to accept a few small presents so they said in token of their

gratitude to him for delivering them forever from the horrible enemy the centipede as the warrior stood in the port taking leave a train of fish was suddenly transformed into a retinue of men all wearing ceremonial robes and dragon's crowns on their head to show that they were servants of the great dragon king the presents that they carried were as follows first a large bronzed bell second a bag of rice third a roll of silk fourth a cooking pot and fifth a bell nintendo would be pretty better in there hideasato did

not want to accept all these presents but as a dragon king existed he could not well refuse a lot of stuff to carry as well isn't that right dragon king himself accompanied the warrior as far as the bridge and then took leave of him with many bows bows and good wishes leaving the procession of servants to accompany hideasato to his house with his presents oh so he got some help so that's good the warriors household and servants had been very much concerned when they found that he did not return the

bite before he's got servants but they finally concluded that he had been kept by the violent storm and had taken shelter somewhere when servants on the watch for his return caught sight of him they called to everyone that he was approaching and a whole household turned out to meet him wondering how much what the retinue of men bearing presents and banners that followed him would mean as soon as the dragon king's retainers had put down the presents they vanished hideasato told all that had happened to him the presents which he

had received from the grateful dragon king were found to be of magic power the bell only was ordinary and as hideasato had no use for it he presented it to the temple nearby where it was hung up and burned out the hour of day over this surrounding neighborhood the single bag of rice however was much was taken much was taken from it day after day for the meals of the night and his whole family never grew less the supply in the bag was inexhaustible inexhaustible just like the boringness within my

brain inexhaustible boringness the roll of silk too never grew shorter though time after time long pieces were cut off to make the warrior a new suit of clothes to go to the courts in at the new year the cooking pot was wonderful too no matter what was put in it it cooked deliciously whatever was wanted without any firing so didn't have to lay anyone off truly a very economical sauce pan the fame of hideasato's fortune spread far and wide and as there was no need for him to spend money on rice or silk or firing he became very rich and prosperous and was henceforth known as my lord bag of rice the end