(music) #1260 “New Years Eve” Mondays Boring Objects (30th December 2024)

Hello and welcome to Monday's Boring Objects. Monday Boring Objects! My name's Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

Please only listen when you can. Safely close your eyes. I'm here with my little boy Vinoy, who's given himself a nice little wash.

What do I normally say? I've got a website, it's called jasonnewland.com, where all my recordings live. It is basically a podcast but there are, in the menu, there's quite a lot of stuff that you can gain access to. So on the first page is always my latest recordings.

Six versions, one without music, five hours and ten hours without music, then one normal length with music, and then five and ten hours with music. Just gives people a choice. My YouTube channel is at Jason Newland.

On the website, there is my Facebook group as well, which is Jason Newland's Boring Group. And I have a list of podcasts, so that's clicked on there. So there's Hypnosis For Sleeping Deeply, which is my main podcast.

Then there's Let Me Bore You To Sleep, which is my other main podcast, which is for kind of all this stuff. Although I share it to both. I don't share any kind of hypnosis-y stuff I put onto the Hypnosis For Sleeping Deeply.

I don't put that on the Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Then there's a Chronic Pain Hypnosis, Deep Sleep Whisper Hypnosis, Jason's Bedtime Storytime, Let Me Bore Your Pain Away, Relaxation for Stress and Panic Attacks, Relax and Sleep Hypnosis Daily, Sleepy Boring Objects, Stop Smoking Hypnosis, Stress and Pain Relief, Stop Nail Biting, and my newest podcast, Q&A Friday. There are thousands of recordings there for you to stream, download, whatever you want to do.

The new one, Q&A Friday, basically what I've done is on Spreaker, I've uploaded all of my Q&A Fridays that I've produced. And there are 38 weeks worth. And that's it really.

It's basically I mean, the introduction on that one is, Welcome to Q&A Friday where curiosity meets relaxation. Each week I dive into your questions, big, small or wonderfully bizarre. And answer them in my signature calm, conversational style.

Whether it's life advice, random trivia or light hearted musings. This is your space for thoughtful, entertaining and sometimes delightfully boring responses. Perfect for winding down, relaxing, or even drifting off to sleep.

Got a question? Send it in and let's explore it together on Q&A Friday. So I've been meaning to do that for a while. Not read that out, but be meaning to, you know, get everything all together.

So now I've done that. I'm probably going to do the same for the Trivia Tuesday. And I'm probably going to do this.

I mean, technically I already do have the boring objects. I mean, the podcast I had is called Sleepy Boring Objects. But what I might do is change it to Monday's Boring Objects.

That's what I might do. Monday's Boring Objects because I've got Yeah, that's I think I might do that. There's 41 42 43 44 44 45 46.

There's 46 Boring Objects recordings, 47 including this one. So I guess I'll just change that around a little bit and make it just Monday's Boring Objects. Because that's how I'm to go ahead with these with that.

Going forward like every Monday, like I have been generally every Monday for quite a few weeks. Generally. Tuesday, Trivia Tuesday, I do a podcast for that one as well.

So I've done a few of those. And I plan to continue doing that. And then there's the Sunday papers.

So I'll probably do a podcast, a podcast for that and have them separate. Yeah. Does that make sense? They'll all be part of the Let Me Boyd asleep, but I'll just what I'll do is I won't number them.

They're numbered as Let Me Boyd sleep, but I'll just add them to the Like what I've done with the Q&A Friday. For an example. So the last one I did was 1257 Let Me Boyd sleep.

So it's Q&A Friday number 38 in brackets. 20th of December 2024. So I think I'll just do that.

It's a way of keeping track. So if I start if I start giving a different numbers, it's it makes it confusing. For me, doesn't take a lot to confuse me.

So that's kind of it. What else is there on the on the website? If I go back, I've also got playlists. So this is for anyone that's interested.

I mean, it's not a very interesting conversation, really. But for those that are interested in some of my older stuff, for example, well, any anything that I did years ago, maybe this is a place to go to. So if you just click on playlists on the website, there's a Let Me Boyd asleep one.

And there are they are basically in groups of 50. And as much as you can imagine, with the Let Me Boyd asleep, there's a lot of them. I've got one to 50 all the way up to 1201 to 1250.

So the 1251 to 1300 I've not, I've not sort of added that yet. So you could just click on one of those. And it takes you that's weird.

That's very strange. Why is it doing that? It takes you to the playlist. And you can just literally, literally, just scroll down, scroll down, whatever you want to call it.

And you can download it, you can stream it. You can even leave a comment. And then you've got a stress and pain relief one.

There's only one to 50 on there, because that's how many I've got. Jason's bedtime story time one to 50. Then you've got dead.

Okay, that's fine. Then you've got sleepy boring objects one to 50. Is there's the let me bore your pain away one to 50.

Stop now by 10 one to 50. So a lot of these is not that many on there. Stop smoking.

I've just included the whole podcast because there's not many on there. Relaxation for stress and pain relief, like relaxation for stress and panic attacks. Sorry, there's one to 50.

And then all the way up to 201 to 250. So it's 12345 playlists, relax and sleep hypnosis daily. And that goes up to 250.

Then there's a deep sleep whisper hypnosis, which goes up to 550. And in Q&A Friday, and again, all I've done so far is just put it as a playlist, just put the the actual playlist so far, because I've only got 38. Once I get more, I'll make a separate playlist for each 50.

As I have done for the others. I think that's it really. Yeah, that's it.

You can leave review if you like. So today is the 30th of December 2024. So what I thought I would do is talk about New Year's Eve.

As it's New Year's Eve tomorrow. So for that be quite an apt kind of subject to bore you with. So I'm going to talk about my New Year's Eve over the years, over the years.

Trying to think where should I start? I'm trying to think back to like my first memory of a New Year's Eve. By the way, Happy New Year. If this is, if this is the only recording you can listen to between now and the beginning of the year, Happy New Year to you all.

And thank you for listening. Really do appreciate it. I appreciate all of you.

Because without you, there'd be no point me doing this and they pretty much be no reason for me to get out of bed. So this is important to me to be able to help others. All together now.

There's a hero. If you look in Jason's window. Right.

New Year's Eve. Oh, can't think. I could think of some later ones.

But I can't think of any really early ones. Like when I was a kid. Yeah, we used to used to see the New Year's Eve in like the new year in rather, you know, midnight, and then be off to bed.

We might even I don't know, did we did we did we watch television? Or did you just all sing or old Lang, old man, Zion, Zion, whatever it is. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do that one. Sorry.

Apologies for your ears. Yeah, I think that's what we did. This is like when I was a kid.

I'm thinking I can't remember, like really early. I'm thinking probably more teenage years. Before that, I don't really remember nothing.

Nothing really sticks out. In my memory about New Year's Eve. The New Year's Day was pretty cool.

We'd have like it's almost like a second Christmas Day in a way. And we'd have, we'd have some presents from the tree. So we'd have like a couple of like a present each.

That was good as well. But Christmas Eve. Yeah, I think when I was young, it was okay because I wasn't allowed to stay up till midnight at any point during my childhood.

So I yeah, that apart from New Year's Eve. Yeah, so I would go and yeah, whatever I say is just gonna be made up. So I can't actually remember.

I don't remember. It's like a long time ago, man. I'm trying to think what the first my first memory of New Year's Eve is.

Okay, this is weird. My first memory that I can actually think of off the top of my head was working New Year's Eve in the pub. Dodgers pub in the town.

It was proper dive. It was all connected to a kind of decent hotel, really rough, rough pub. And it's I worked New Year's Eve.

I worked Christmas Day. I think I worked Christmas Eve. And I worked all the way through that week, including New Year's Eve, which was by far the busiest, the busiest night of the year, well, the busiest night that I'd ever experienced.

And that was, it was eventful. It's a toast really weird. This seems weird to me, because even now, it's I remember what I had for dinner, because I'd eat there was a hotel.

So I'd have my dinner there. But I was really hungry. And it was, as I imagine, everywhere on New Year's Eve, pretty much where there's alcohol being sold.

It's very busy, very, very busy. And it was hard. It was hard work, really full on.

And I got my, I had my break and I went into the kitchen area, whatever, and had my dinner. And it was chips, chicken nuggets, maybe beans. And I had some, I think I might add some coles, coleslaw as well.

It was so nice. The best chicken nuggets I've ever eaten in my life. Probably because I was so hungry.

And I still remember that just remember sort of sitting there thinking, oh, this is nice. And it's quiet because we're away from that. It was like, I don't know what it was.

But there was really want anyone there unless I was outside. Now wouldn't been outside or I'd be cold. And lovely.

But the evening was just unpleasant. From every angle, I was useless at the job. Like really bad.

Probably the worst person who has ever worked beyond a bar. That was me. I'm not even, I'm not even showing off.

I mean, generally, I was really bad. Which is kind of weird considering I had two other bar jobs afterwards as well. I didn't really learn, did I? But I just couldn't.

It wasn't for me. Although I did find it a little bit easier later on in life when the tools were better. You know, when you could actually push what you want until instead of having to put in each individual price, you know, add up in your head and then just put it in.

It's like no. So that was adding up in my head wasn't. It wasn't my first option.

Generally throughout the day. I've really walked around and thought, you know what, I'm going to add some stuff up in my head. No, just wasn't wasn't something that I really, really kind of was attracted to.

Even though I didn't like the job, I got on quite well with a couple of the bar staff. Which was cool. And as one, there was a, there was another member of the bar staff that he was even, honestly, I think he was weirder than I was.

And that takes some doing. Or we were equally as weird as each other. Because we got on really well and we used to hang out with each other outside of work.

And he was a musician, he was a keyboard player. And we were going to be making some music and because I was a singer, well, I wanted to be a singer. And it just, you know, got on really well.

The weird thing about it is, well not weird, but I remember I went because of the pub was opposite the beach. So I'm just walking up the beach on the way. Because I'm up where I lived was on the beach as well.

So I live around the corner. So I'm just walking around the corner and I see my friend who works behind a bar, standing on the beach with two blokes, which were customers. And it's like they were not being very friendly to him.

So I walked over. And one of the two big blokes, one of them actually hit him. So I went over and just stopped there.

So that's it. That's it over. And I just got in between and I just brought him back inside and like, weird because I ended up living with one of them while lodging in a place that he lived as well.

So I don't know what that was. I was picking on him. I just didn't put up with it.

So I stopped it. But that was that was a weird time because on the got food New Year's Eve. And then at the end of the night, they said to me I had to go in and have training because the tools were short again.

They're basically accusing me of taking money or just not doing the job right. I'll admit to the second one. I want to get to the first one.

Okay, I stole. No, I didn't. I mean, if the tools are short, is a chance.

Even then I was thinking about that. So I wouldn't even I don't know what kind of error I'd need to make for the tools to be short. Just given out the wrong change.

I mean, that's that is possible. However, I never had a problem in the past. And I spent two years working on until in a chip shop.

And I was I didn't have any problems giving out the change. I knew you always put the five and the 10 and the 20 in the correct slots. That's where someone says, you gave me 20.

And you think they're giving you 10, the 20 pound will be in the 10 pound slot of the tool. So okay, fair enough. So I knew how to give change back.

And with a chip shop, I didn't really have to add up. I did a bit look. The thing is with it, you know, with a chip shop, you got it's very limited to how many things there are.

And it's a much easier environment to work. Because you know, it's you sell a lot of sausages. What do you want? Well, Vinnie hasn't bothered me at all.

And now as soon as I start doing this, he's bothering me. Are you a penguin? Your mom is coming back today. She is.

Just calm yourself down. So hopefully he's not going to have something I'm going to look I will look the other way and with the should hopefully would walk off. Get distracted by something else.

Um, was I going? Oh, yeah. The chip shop, you know, sell a lot of sausages. Sell a lot of cod, sell a lot of chips, sell a lot of cans of coke, sell a lot of these things that are just bread rolls, sausage rolls, Cornish pasties.

Vinnie, please leave me alone. What do you want? What do you want? You hungry? You hungry? I gotta go get him some food. Right.

Okay, just got some food. Treat myself to a wee wee. And he's eating his food.

And now he's staring at me again. What was I talking about sausages? Actually, that might be why he was hassling me because I said the word sausages. And that's his favorite thing.

So in the chip shop, especially haven't I'd spent two years there. Pretty much selling the same thing over and over and over and over and over again. And, you know, a lot of people come in just for bag of chips, or sausage and chips, or burger and chips, or you know, whatever it is, it's like the same thing quite often.

So I got used to the prices until they put the prices up. Then I was flummoxed. Put the prices up by two pence.

Oh no. But, you know, to be fair, my boss at the chip shop he was patient with me, he never gave me hassle. You know, I just... What do you want? What do you want Vinnie? Look, why don't you eat one of your things you got down there? You've got so many bits and bobs and chews and stuff like that.

Hey, you were so happy just cuddling earlier. Now, because I'm not giving you attention, I'm not cuddling you, and I'm talking to someone else, you just want me to give you attention. Don't you? Just calm down, chill out man.

The weird thing about it, he probably wouldn't even be bothering me if I was sitting there at the laptop, you know, working on a website. The fact that I'm talking, and he's got his little paw up like, wait, wait, wait daddy, wait, wait for what? Wait for what? Wait for what? So, at the end of the night, on the New Year's Eve, what did I do? Yeah, the manager came and said I had to come in New Year's Day, which is the next day, I had to come in the next morning and do some training.

And I said, I can't.

I said, first of all, I agree, I probably do need extra training, but it's not because the tools are short, I wouldn't let the tools be short. I need extra training. I mean, I'm probably just not charging the right amounts for things.

But I'm still taking the right, I'm still taking the money. So I might, I might undercharge people. So instead of it being £12.50, it might be like £2.60 or something, might get the price wrong.

But I'll only take £2.60 off of them. And I'll put that into the tool. And if they give me £3, I'll give them £4.50 back, change.

So I'm not going to make mistakes. Basic maths. So anyway, he said, well, you got to come in tomorrow.

And you need more training. I said, I can't come in tomorrow. Because I'm going to my nanny and granddad's for lunch.

And I missed Christmas because I was here with you. It was but it wasn't as good as being with my nanny and granddad. And my family.

So I missed Christmas dinner. This is going to be my Christmas dinner. Tomorrow, New Year's Day.

And he said, No, but you need to come in for training. I said, I'm not coming in for training. Did I not tell you? If you heard, he said, heard what? What I just told you a second ago, I'm not going to be here at my nanny and granddad's.

You better come in or don't bother coming back. And I remember thinking to myself, how do you do? How can you do a fam like that? How can you? How can you do that? I realised that no one talked like that back then. And listen, fam.

And again, he said, Well, I said, Oh, I'm just so futuristic. I'm in the like, 30 years ahead here. That's why it's hard to be around people when you're 30 years ahead.

And now I'm about 30 years behind. Anyway, I've never never been big on ultimatums. I'll be honest with you.

I like to be honest, as you know, but on this occasion, I'll be honest. Not a big fan of the ultimatums. You know, it's like, I just, it's a bit too controlling.

It's a bit too, a little bit too in your face, kind of. You got to do what I say or what I mean? Like, no. I mean, even the either or, I don't like that either.

I had a girlfriend once and she was saying to me, you either either we have a quickie during the adverts, or we or we have a have a much longer session after the program ends. And I said, No, I'm not going to be held hostage like that. I'm not.

I'm not having an ultimatum. And she said, That's not really an ultimatum, is it? I said, I don't care. That's it's over.

Yeah, yeah, sure. And I mean, personally, it would have been a quickie during the adverts or quickie after the program finished. Either way, it's still going to be a quickie.

I actually used to think that was what the adverts were for. Especially some of the adverts that I played. Only the crumbliest, flakiest chocolate tastes like chocolate never tasted before.

Oh, I remember that advert. Yep. I remember they they played I watched watching TV all day.

They played it. The advert about 17 times in one day. And I ended up in hospital for dehydration.

Only the flakiest, crumbliest chocolate. It's weird. Anyway, I'm trying to think of another New Year's Eve.

Oh, needless to say, I didn't go back. Didn't go back to that job that bar job. And the next thing I know is the staff.

Well, I see some of the regulars in there outside. And they told me that the staff members were telling everyone that I got sacked for stealing. Wow.

See if that happened now. I would have had some kind of recourse legally. But I think the reason and I'm pretty sure stuff like that still goes on.

And I think some companies do take advantage of the fact that they've got a young person who is very unlikely to try and go a legal route. Because of not knowing about that, that's an option. And also because just wanted to move on.

But someone in their 40s, for example, or 30s or even 20s might say, you know what? That's it's illegal. You can't just dismiss me like that. You can't force me to come in on New Year's Day without notice.

I think I did say that. He said, you've got to give me some notice. He said, I just have.

I said, what do you mean? He said it's New Year's Day now, isn't it? I said, yeah, but I don't want you in in a minute, do I? I said, can't you train me now? He said, no, I want to go home. What do you mean? I want to go home to my wife and kids. Oh, so you're okay to go into your family, but I'm not allowed to spend time with mine.

He said, have you got a wife and kids? I said, no, but it's nothing to do with it. I'm talking about my family. He said, so am I. Yeah, but I'm not talking about family that I pooed out.

I'm talking about family that... He said, what did you say? Nothing. Are you telling me that you think I pooed out my kids? And I ran. I ran, I ran, I ran.

Iraq, Dubai. There's lots of places I'd like to visit. I'm trying to think of some other occasions.

New Year's Eve. New Year's Eve. New Year's Eve.

Oh, I just remembered one. So I had New Year's Eve with a friend. I remember that and that was about 1990, 1989 New Year's Eve.

I was in London and I was on my own. I don't know if I saw anybody on that particular evening. I don't recall.

But 1990 New Year's Eve. You know, leading up to 91, I spent New Year's Eve with a friend. Then 1991 New Year's Eve.

I probably, I would have been in London. He's making lots of noise now, bless him. I, what I did through most of the 90s, I spent New Year's Eve at the comedy club.

And, because that was my place. That was my, kind of like a safe haven almost. My favourite place to go to.

My favourite nightclub ever. And so I went there, because it was a nightclub after the comedy finished. I went there, I think, probably 91.

Probably spent it with a few people I knew. 92, 1992. New Year's Eve.

Probably spent it at the night, at the comedy club again. 1993 New Year's Eve. I spent New Year's Eve 1993 with a new girlfriend.

So I was visiting my dad and there was a friend that I'd the person I'd fancied since I was 17. And we had a little, a little thing happen when I was 18. She was 25.

An event, an excursion. I don't know what you want to call it. Something.

It was, you know, I had a smile all day long the next day. But I'm not sure she noticed. But yeah, I think it was, yeah.

But I had a bit of a, held a little bit of a candle for her or torch or whatever. So when I was 23, which is kind of weird, isn't it? Six years later, we started dating that Christmas. And I spent New Year's Eve with her before going back back to London to work.

Or whatever I was doing, I can't remember. So yeah, in 93, 1993, I spent with her and her family. It was a bit of a weird night because we went for a walk on the beach, me and her three kids, and a bloke that was always around.

He wasn't a boyfriend, but I think he ended up being kind of like a boyfriend. And at one point, he decided to run into the sea. And my girlfriend said, are you going to go in to save him? I said, no.

She said, why not? I said, well, it's cold. She said, that's no excuse. I said, yeah, but I can't swim.

I can't save someone from swimming if I can't swim myself, can I? Can't save someone from swimming. You know what I mean? I can't save someone in the sea. I can't, I'm not a swimmer.

I, yeah, it's as simple as that. I can't, um, especially if someone's literally just running the sea on their own, fully clothed. He must have got one heck of a cold.

He came back out in the end. He realized after about half an hour that it was a bad idea. Not the quickest fella.

And I just, I don't know why he did it. I don't know if he was drunk or I'm really not sure. But it was a nice bloke, actually.

It was weird that it was, there's weird, I had weird moments with him. There was one, one time and I was visiting, this was the following year. So I was with her for about, I was with her to the following August, 1994.

Things went downhill when I moved to Ireland. And moving out of the country is not always a good idea, doesn't always, not always the best thing, not the best cement for relationships. Moving out of the country, it might, I guess it'd be less worse if I told her I was doing it.

Or if I told her I'd done it, even. And she did find someone else. And I phoned her up and she said, I haven't spoken to you in ages.

I said, yeah, I know. She said, I've got something to tell you. I've got a new boyfriend.

Sorry. I said, I've got something to tell you. I don't live in England anymore.

Oh, well, I think it kind of fizzled out a little bit. And I realised perhaps things weren't going so well when I woke up next to my mum. No, I didn't.

I don't even want to say that. I didn't. I didn't.

I didn't. I used to live with my mum for a while. I did.

I went, that's when I went to Spain for the day or for the afternoon. And I came back and my mum decided I was a mule, you know, an illegal substance mule. Like, really? In that case, how come I got no money? How come I got them out? But, yeah, she was just a bit, she made up her mind.

I think she just wanted me out. Apparently, I spent too much time in the bathroom. But I used to find that annoying because I had shift work.

I had this a couple of times, at least two times, I lived in different places where the landlady would say to me, you're making too much noise in the morning. Can't you just have a strip wash? Why have you got to have a bath? Why have you got to have a shower? It's like, well, well, first of all, I used to like baths and I'm going to work.

I'm going to be spending eight hours around people.

I don't want to be smelly. Like you. No, I didn't say that.

But I didn't. I said, I don't want to be smelly. I didn't say I don't want to be.

I just, I want to. I like, I used to like, I used to like being clean. It just seemed a bit weird.

Why don't you have one in the evening? Because I'm not spending all night long in bed, sweating. And we just, that was one of those things. It's almost like, well, you should leave the toilet lid down.

The toilet lid, toilet seat, toilet seat. After a while, she just gave up moaning about it. And after a while, I stopped caring because I thought, wait a minute, I'm paying to live here.

You're not doing me a favor. It's not like, it's not like every, every, every six weeks I wake up to tickling the bottom of my feet. There's no, you know, it's nothing extra coming out of me living here.

There's no benefits other than just somewhere to live, which is important. But it was a really, it's quite a horrible house. This is the one in London, not the one, the one where it's my, my girlfriend or ex-girlfriend's mum.

That was a nice house. Yeah, the one in London was behind a graveyard, but it was a graveyard that was out of date, no longer used. And in front of that was the new graveyard, which was being used.

By the way, that's Vinnie making that noise. So it's a big old area, a massive, and it was just a bit weird. I mean, quite a neighbors, which is good, but mainly, I did wake up to, what was that song? Dreams can come true.

You know, you got to have them. You know, you got to be strong. Dreams can come true.

And that song, The Lady with a Patch. I woke up a Saturday morning, and someone, I don't know where they were, was playing that song over and over and over again, for hours, full throttle. I mean, really loud.

And the weird thing about it, I've never heard the song before. But the rest of the week, I was humming it. I really liked the song.

It just sunk into my psyche, I think. Oh, I cleaned the cooker today, did I tell you? Did I tell you? Do you remember, did I tell you about the cooker? No, you didn't. Oh, good.

So, yeah, I can't, what other places, that's such a weird off-putting sound that he's making. If it was bad, if you could actually see a visual, it's worse. I've got this scrubbing machine, and it's basically, you put an end, like a little scrubber thing in the end, it's got lots of different utensils, and it just spins.

And I've been doing, over the last week or so, I've done the bath, I've done the, what's it, the sink in the bathroom, I've done the sink in the kitchen, I've done the counter in the kitchen yesterday, and today I've done the cooker, the top of the cooker. So gradually getting bits done. I've got the toilet pretty much sorted now.

That's just taken huge amounts of bleach, to be fair. And I'm just trying to get on top of stuff now, getting stuff bits sorted. I've got my TV being put on the wall soon, so that will free up some space.

And then I'm going to, I don't know, just get a little bit more organised, get my, get everything a bit more tidier. And I do need to get myself some carpet. The carpet in this flat is completely wrong.

It's wrong on many levels. So it does need to be changed. So we'll see, see if I can get that done at some point in the next year.

I might try and just do each room separately. So start with a bedroom, start with the living room, because this one's the worst one. And try and get the thickest, most soundproof carpet I can get.

It's not a big room, but it's still going to cost, you know, I imagine it's still going to cost like 500 quid or something for the room. 400, 500 or something. So I might try and just do one room at a time.

This room first, and then the hallway. So maybe that'll cost me 200 or whatever. 300, I'm not sure, I don't know.

Just do it a bit at a time over the year. The bedroom's the last one because firstly, it's not as worn as the living room. Plus I don't spend much time in there.

Just when I'm in bed. When I'm not in bed, apart from when I put my shoes on or exercising, I'm not in there really. I'm quite pleased with how the cleaning's coming along though.

Once I've done the bathroom floor, it's really going to make a difference. Just in case, just doing bit by bit. If I was like, oh, I've got to get it all done right now, I would, no, I wouldn't probably.

Vinnie's being a proper whiner. So I, what did I do? I'm trying to think of another New Year's Eve. I had a weird New Year's Eve in 1994.

94. Oh yeah, so 93, 94. So 94, I went to Ireland and I came back just before Christmas.

So I had Christmas. I don't know, I didn't go to my dad's at Christmas. I was looking after my friend's dog in the place I was living.

So I looked after his dog and he went away to see, to be with his family at Christmas. And what I did then is New Year's Eve, I went to the comedy club. So I was there on my own.

But I knew, I knew the staff, I knew the, obviously my friend who owned the place. And it's kind of weird because I had this, this female lady person come up and start talking to me. And she was on a table, but she was with people, she wasn't on her own.

And it's almost like she was chatting me up, which I didn't really, you know, as far as I can see, it's like, I thought she liked me. And then she saw it, she said, come over here. So I came over and I'm standing behind her.

Right. Am I standing behind her? Yeah, I'm standing behind her. And or am I standing in front of her? I might be standing in front of her.

But anyway, she's introduced me to her boyfriend, but she's holding my hand. Either she's holding my, she's behind me, and she's holding my hand behind my back. Or she's holding my hand behind her back.

So it wasn't, it was a strange situation. And then he started kissing me, and I just didn't know what to do. I just, I was all over the place.

I thought, well, this is, it's a bit, New Year's Eve isn't normally like this. And he said, it is. I said, what do you mean? He said, it is always like this, New Year's Eve.

I said, but I said that to myself. I didn't say it. That was in my own head.

I said that, how do you know that I just said what I said? He said, because you're, you're doing voices for all of us, so we can all know what each other's saying. I said, oh, not that again. He said, yep.

You're going to include this in your podcast. I said, I don't make podcasts. It's 1994.

When will you be making it? When are you going to start? I said, Blimey, I don't know. 94, 2004. It's another 12 years.

Well, just over 11 years before I start making podcasts and recordings. Wow. That was strange.

And then 2005. Oh, man, no, 2004. I get very, very confused.

Very, very confused. 2005. I'm at Butlins.

So there's, there's a gap that I can't quite plug. Because there was one Christmas, I went to my dad's, and my brother turned up. And he was a security guard.

And he asked me if I wanted to do a shift, a 12 hour shift. Someone he was like, I forget what they call it, but he'd, he'd go around and check on people. And someone hadn't turned up.

So he offered me that shift. And I said yes. And I'd literally just turned up at my dad's.

So I was pretty much working all the way through Christmas day, something which was not obviously didn't go down very well. But I got paid. So that doesn't make sense to me.

Because I remember that same year. So that had been 2004. Definitely wasn't 2000.

That was 1994. It couldn't be 1995. For the simple reason that 1995 I was at Butlins at Christmas.

Well, I was at Butlins. Was I there for Christmas? Or did it go after Christmas? It might have been after Christmas. But then I came back, I spent New Year's Eve with my then girlfriend in 95.

And yeah, that was interesting. And that was an interesting night out. It was.

Yep. And then we went to a night, well, it was like, it was a holiday camp, or a caravan site, but one that people lived in. And there was, I don't know what they call it.

A venue, a venue that was there that hosts had parties and bars and stuff. So it was it was a nice, nice event. It was a bit strange.

It was it was nice. I didn't really know anybody. And that was the first time.

Yeah, first time I hadn't been to the comedy club for a while. Yeah, then 96 I did think about proposing to my girlfriend. But I decided not to.

Because there was, I just didn't want to ruin the moment. I don't know. It was karaoke.

Yeah, we're doing karaoke. And we did a karaoke song together. I think it was something like, especially for you.

And dad said to me, go and sing a song for her. He was a little bit drunk. I think I said, No, I can't bother.

He said, sing a song or I'll break your legs. I said, you know what? I think I'm going to sing her a song. So I went and I sang her a song.

He still wasn't happy. So here's me singing. Please release me.

Let me go. Because I don't love you anymore. You know, serenading her.

He's getting angry. Like, what? Can't win. And what was the other thing? That was.

Yeah, then I get back, we get back. And I've left, I've left the holiday camp that I was working at. Butlins, left that.

Didn't have anywhere to live. And I think her remark was, You don't think you're going to live here, do you? I said, Oh, okay. Fair enough.

Perhaps I should have proposed. One of the few people I actually could see myself being with. Like long term.

By long term, I mean, you know, six or seven weeks. More than a month. More than a fortnight.

So I just, 95, 96, 96, New Year's Eve. I can't remember. Now, I was a security guard in 1996.

Which means I very likely was working. But where was I working? That's the question. Because I had a lot of different jobs when I was a security job guy, person, security guard, lots of different placements.

And New Year's Eve, and because Christmas and stuff like that didn't mean anything to me so much. I could work the shifts where people like family people that wanted to be at home with their kids and stuff. I could cover them.

Yeah, do a few extra hours and that. Just trying to remember where I was at Christmas, or during the end of the year. I think I was in the printers, the printing place.

It was like, they didn't do the printing there. But they did all the designs. And it was a really big company.

Actually, I didn't realize at the time, Dennis printing or something. And they made they did magazines and Kerang, I think was one of them. It's true.

I think they're also the same company that came out with loaded and all the lads max in the 2000s. Got sacked from there, because the toilet overflowed. It wasn't me.

And that was an impression that was not an impression of Shaggy. It literally wasn't me. Wasn't me.

I don't know why, why would they blame me? I guess I was just looking for a way to kick me out. I don't know. I think it was one of the cleaners.

I'm not being rude, but there was, you know, you get to know the cleaners. And one of the ladies went in there into the men's toilets to do the cleaning. First of all, she was in there more than normal, seems to be in there longer than normal.

And when she came out, she she looked lighter. She looked almost like she was walking a bit better. She she wasn't groaning.

She wasn't holding her stomach anymore. She wasn't screaming, I need a poo. I need a poo.

So I don't know. I'm thinking maybe it was one of the cleaners. Possibly.

But then people used to get into work very early. Now sometimes because I'd be there till about nine. I do think about, I get there at 3.30 to about nine, 3.30 in the afternoon till nine in the morning.

It's a long shift. And I think I might be I might be able to leave at half eight, maybe nine when the receptions got there. So some people get in at seven in the morning.

Cleaners would normally be there about 6.30. So it might be it might be one of the staff members just decided to drop one, you know, drop one and run. But why blame it on me? Because once you got to six o'clock, once the cleaners were in, I wasn't allowed to leave the reception. Because the doors were open.

So anyone could just come and go, which they did the staff mainly. Actually, there was that time when the people came in at the weekend and took away lots of stuff in a van. I think I might go in trouble for that as well.

Maybe it wasn't a toilet. Hmm. So that was 96 96 97.

I was a DJ baby. I was a DJ 97. New Year's Eve.

It was like the end of the year. I mean, I guess literally it's the end of the year for everyone, isn't it really New Year's Eve? Unless you're in China or somewhere that doesn't has a different New Year's Eve. And always have to be different.

Why don't you celebrate the same time with us? So New Year's. Yeah, I remember New Year's for the four years being a case of I'm glad it's over. Just because the the Christmas run would be so hectic.

And I was glad to just have it finished. And New Year's Eve would be just nice to have a rest. Tell you one thing though, New Year's.

At the comedy club, when I was DJing, helping my friend out the when when the disco didn't start until after midnight. So the comedian or the compere would go on stage and do the whole good evening. Good evening.

It's nearly time for for for New Year's Eve and New Year's the new year thing. Good evening. And then a countdown.

500 499 498. And someone's happened on the show this like no just do 10 down to one. Don't worry, I'll be back.

I'll be back in 45 minutes. Yeah, it'd be fine. And it'd be do that Merry Christmas or whatever people say New Year's Eve.

Happy New Year. That's it. And I'd always hide.

I just didn't feel comfortable with all the hugging. I can do hugging now but I didn't I couldn't do hugging back then. I really couldn't.

I could hug like a girlfriend. Kind of. If I liked her.

But it sounds better if I liked her. No, but you know, I'm not. Yeah, I suppose I just not.

I don't know. He's not a hugger. I guess I am with the right person.

I'm not sure what that means. But anyway, I didn't like the whole public kind of happy New Year. Happy New Year to you.

Happy New Year. Oh, so yeah, I just wasn't really I kind of I guess I didn't feel as though I was presenting on the outside as much excitement as the other people around me. They're like, happy really like big excitement, like, just something like it was the first time it ever happened.

And there's me like, okay. You know, I wish everyone happy New Year. Yeah, genuinely.

But I wasn't spinning on my head. You know, I wasn't handing out cookies that I've made for the occasion. I haven't spent all week writing poems for each individual person that I might see on that night, that would be a weird thing to do.

You know, I mean, it's like, it's happy New Year. Good, brilliant. I was always, I guess, more self involved and thinking about my own life.

And I liked nothing like now. I like New Year's Eve. Because the New Year, it's like a new start.

It's a new chance, another chance to do something different and to move forward, fresh, almost. And I like that every year. So I do I prefer a preferred New Year.

The New Year to Christmas, just personally, I like that new start thing, that vibe. The amount of times I'd stopped smoking on New Year's, when I was in 90s, when I stopped smoking, that's it. And I'd be everyone be singing all day, all the Zang Vine or whatever it is.

And I realised I'd like three cigarettes in my mouth. Oh, damn it. It's too late now.

So I have to smoke for another year. It's weird. I've got to work something out, actually.

Let's have a look. I want to work something out. 20, 20.

No, I can't do it. I have to do it another time. I'm trying to think something in my head.

2001. I went back to the comedy club 2001. And I spent New Year's Eve there.

But I moved away this point I was working in insurance. I've probably stayed in a hotel. No, I didn't.

I probably stayed with my friend. 2002. Again, I would have been in London at the comedy club.

2003. I remember 2003 very well. Because at the end of the year, I went on a retreat.

I think it was Boxing Day, or the day after Boxing Day, went on a Buddhist retreat. And yeah, this is 2003. So went on a retreat.

I'd left the insurance job at this point. Because I left in November. And the the anxiety was just too much.

It was just ridiculous. So I came home early. And then I New Year's Eve was one of the worst.

Oh, man, it was really bad. I was in my my little bedsit thing. And I was so ill, just with the anxiety and the stress and everything.

And I decided I wasn't going to drink any more alcohol for the whole of 2004. And I stuck to it. I didn't drink any alcohol all the way through the year.

And mostly I didn't even drink any drink any meat. I didn't eat any meat. I didn't.

Yeah, at the end, I think near the I stopped eating chocolate as well. Until the end of the year. So I stopped eating chocolate, lost loads of weight, got fitter.

But that New Year's Eve was pretty, pretty awful. And then New Year's Eve 2004. I would say probably I know exactly where I was.

I had a good Christmas at my nan's. And I went back to the comedy club 2004. And I did my very best to undo all the good work from the previous year.

You know, so technically, I did not drink for the whole year because New Year's Eve I was drinking again. But I've gone pretty much the whole year. Yeah, so that was 2004.

That was at the comedy club. 2005. I was in the Buddhist community.

As yeah, 2005. So I moved in there. Probably March 2005.

And so New Year's Eve. I might have been at the comedy club again. 2005.

No, I wasn't. Oh, I remember exactly where I was. I remember now.

I had a girlfriend. And we saw the New Year's in together. But we were not focusing on the time.

So it's quite a nice way to see it in. Only time I've really done that. I mean, that but and yes, there's a good way to see the New Year in.

And but that didn't I mean, the relationship didn't last that long, actually. Probably October to January. So it wasn't a long one.

It was long for me. But I'm told by quite a few people that it's not an average size relationship. In 2006, I spent New Year's Eve with my girlfriend as a different girlfriend.

And yes, I spent New Year's Eve with her. Although I don't really know. I remember my friend from London phoning up saying you coming down.

I said no. Got to spend it here. I didn't say that.

I said I'm spending my girlfriend because she was listening. And he sent me a text message. He says, Are you safe? Are you okay? I said, Yeah, I'm fine.

Can you escape? No, I don't want to escape. I'm having a wonderful time. I texted back, please help me.

But I didn't. I stayed in Southend. I had my New Year's there.

I don't remember, to be fair. I've got no memory of it. The only thing I remember, I think we're giving each other presents.

And no, because that doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense. So I went up there Boxing Day.

So I was there all the way through the week. I must have done. I must have been there all the way through the week.

I just don't remember it. Generally do not remember very much of it, other than I was there. And then 2007.

2007. Where was I? And 2007. Probably the comedy club.

No, 2007. I was at university. So New Year's Eve 2007.

I was in university. And I may well have been at the comedy club. I don't remember.

I may well have done 2008. The problem is, as time went past, because I stopped being actively there regularly after 2002. And over time, the staff changed.

It got to the point where I'd go there. And a lot of people wouldn't even know who I was. And it just became, it became less fun.

You know, it's, it's nice to, you know, the whole thing, cheers, where everybody knows your name. And that was nice to have that. People seem quite pleased, or they pretend to be pleased to see me.

But then it was like I didn't, you know, I got to know a few of the staff. It was weird because I'd walk in, to me, that was my home. That comedy club was my home.

That was somewhere that I, since the age of 20, had been a safe space. It's just somewhere that I loved. I knew every single corner of that building.

You know, I just knew the place, the office, upstairs, in all the attics, in the DJ booth, the kitchen, the toilets, the storage, you know, you name it. I just knew the whole thing, knew the whole building. And it was, and there was a nightclub upstairs as well, a separate nightclub.

And it just got to the point where I just didn't know anyone apart from maybe the door staff, security. And it just got to the point where I hardly knew anyone. And in 2009, 2008, I don't remember.

2009, again, I was still at university. I don't remember. In 2010, I had finished university.

New Year's Eve, I don't remember New Year's Eve again. I think, actually, those three years, I went to the, I went to the Buddhist place, the Buddhist centre. Yeah, I did.

I did, I did, I did. So I think I went to the Buddhist centre and saw the New Year in there. I also did that in possibly 2011.

And 2012, as well. Because it was just up the road from where I lived. Maybe 2013, possibly.

But it got to the point where I stopped going to London anymore for New Year's Eve, even though that was my favourite place to go to. But just once I didn't know anyone, I knew, obviously, I knew the owner, but sometimes he'd be away. He'd, like, be on holiday, or he'd just pop in and then go out again.

I mean, there was a period in 2010 where I actually worked in the office, because I was at university, but I worked part-time. Was it 2009? No, 2009, leading up to Christmas. So I got to know quite a few of the staff.

So that was quite cool. Because I was there two times a week for, I don't know, three months, maybe four months, from the summer leading to the Christmas. So I used to stay in the evening, watch the show, and then come home late, or maybe stay at my friend's.

So I got to know, I kind of got to really know the staff. So I quite like that. And yeah, I'm trying to think, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014.

I mean, yesterday was the anniversary of my nan passing. That was 2014. So to be honest, New Year's Eve wasn't really on my radar of, like, happy events to look forward to, because I was in a, well, you know, not a great space.

But then 2015, I moved in here, in the April, had New Year's Eve. I think I might have, oh, no, New Year's Eve, I, that would have been here. So I probably spent it with my friend downstairs.

Come on, Vinnie, don't bark, please, please. And I think it's pretty much been the same. I haven't gone away for New Year's Eve at all for the last 10 years.

I've been here in this flat, either with Andre or with Vinnie. Now it's Vinnie. And I wouldn't necessarily see the New Year's Eve with my friend.

I would do sometimes, and other times I'd see him earlier on and, but we'd like to have a little, like, Happy New Year kind of thing, you know, but yeah, for the last 10 years, not really, really celebrated it in any kind of, like I used to when I'd go to London. That's quite a boring podcast, wasn't it? There's not a lot of excitement there. Did I mention the UFO that came down?

No? Oh, don't worry.

He loves having his neck massaged, Vinnie does. I massage it and he's like, oh, yeah. That's the one good thing, because I learnt massage when I was in 2002.

No, 2003. I learnt massage and so I used to massage Andre, like, just give him a whole body massage. I do the same with Vinnie as well.

He seems to like it. I love to have a massage. You know, I'd like, ah, it'd be so nice if I just had someone to, especially my lower back.

Oh, man. Because my lower back, because the arthritis and stuff, it'd be so nice just to have someone just stretching my back, just gently, gently. I'm not into, well, I do also like foot massages.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah. Nice oily foot massage. I like that.

Yeah, I think everyone should have a foot massage. Those that like it, obviously, in fact, people that don't like it shouldn't, but it's, if we had, like I do in Thailand, if we had a massage, like foot massage place, you could just go into and it's like it's natural thing, almost like a pub or like a bakery or, you know, it's just, or a nail salon that is kind of norm here.

I probably would go and get, especially if it was those kind of prices where it's just be like a fiver or whatever, I'd go and give a foot massage.

Not a fiver, they should get paid more than that for touching my feet. I don't think any amount of money in the world would probably cover it. When I was in Thailand, I think it was the first time and I hadn't cut my toenails, I forgot.

And they were like, I was going to say a witch's helmet, but that doesn't sound weird. Witch's helmet. So it was though kind of really tangled and like really, yeah, bad, bad.

And I went into the place and I said, can you do cut toenails? And she said, you may not understand. Boom, boom. No, toenails.

I go, do you do toenails? And she said, yeah. So I thought, okay. So she said, you must take socks off.

And I said, are you sure? Are you ready? She said, me born ready. Boom, boom. I know.

I don't know if it was like, she's like, do you know, um, we used to have a, uh, Basil brush. It was a Fox that used to tell jokes and then just go, uh, boom, boom. And I thought that's what she was a bezel brush fan.

Or she was like in her head. She was playing the drums. I don't know.

And anyway, I took my socks off and it was just a look. Everyone stopped what they were doing in the entire shop. There's really about 20 women working in there.

I don't know why I didn't see any men. So there might be men and having a break or something. There was no men working there.

And it was quite weird because they all came like, look around, look, it's almost like it was a baby dinosaur. They just never like dinosaurs really exist. And I, and she said, they, your toes boom, boom.

So I don't know. And I said, yes, they are my toes. You know, they're my toes.

What do you think they are? He said, you'd never cut them ever. So just, I have, I saw what you think they've been growing for 50 years or 52 years, whatever it was. Come on.

They'd be like at least twice as long as they are now. I can't believe what an amazing job she did at the end of it. My toes look normal.

I mean, I don't know how she did what she did, but she, you say, Oh, she cut you. No, when they're that long and curly and branching off almost, it's like a tree, like a little bonsai sticking out of each foot, toe thing. At the end of it, they looked absolutely normal, very talented.

That was, I was very impressed. So I left a 50 pence tip on that. Trying to think what else? Boom, boom, boom.

Can you hear me say eel, eel? That's the last, I mean, literally last New Year's, oh blimey, last New Year's Eve. So yeah, I didn't, didn't really, I can't remember. No, the whole Christmas period last year was a bit of a blur for me, to be honest.

I don't know if I saw anybody New Year's Eve. I might have done. I don't remember.

I do not remember. I had Vinnie with me, but I don't remember other than that. I do not recall anything.

So I probably lived up to the boring part of the Monday's boring objects, because definitely boring. But New Year's Eve. Yeah, that's it really.

I can't think of anything else. That's all the New Year's Eve's I've had. I remember once I was in the comedy club and people were like, singing, you know, like, Mary, Mary, happy New Year.

And I just run upstairs and hide in the loft. And I come downstairs and a couple of people said, where have you been? We were all hugging each other. I said, I just had to do something.

And one said, what, diarrhoea again? I said, no, no. I thought about one day, maybe trying to spend Christmas somewhere else. I don't know, somewhere maybe like Thailand, maybe just go for Christmas, go for the the December.

No, go there first week of December, come back first week of January. I'm talking in the future when I've saved up. So in 20 years time, probably.

But it's just like, oh, that might be a good thing to do. Or flip it on its head. I quite like to go somewhere where it's snowing.

A snowy place. Yeah, that appeals to me. Somewhere like in a log cabin.

No bears around, obviously. No dangerous wildlife, just, just happy ducks. And I don't know why they've got to be happy.

But you know, just generally little robins and squirrels and you know, like the scenic Christmas card wonderland kind of scenery. You know, you don't see any crocodiles or anything like that in there, do you? Just, just a nice, happy, safe space. Log cabin.

Yeah, I suppose maybe, but not skiing. I'm not really into skiing, really. Maybe Bulgaria.

Or Baltics, somewhere like that. Or maybe Denmark. Frinton.

I don't know. Just somewhere really, really, really amazing. Norwich, Zimbabwe, Zimbabwe, Zimbabwe, Zimbabwe, Zimbabwe, Zimbabwe, Zimbabwe, Zimbabwe.

I don't know. Something beak. What's that? Quebec.

Perhaps even Scotland. Because it goes somewhere, it snows every year at Christmas. You know, go find somewhere where it always snows at Christmas.

And yeah, that'd be cool. I can take Vinnie with me. That'd be nice.

Anyway, this is the end of this recording. Tomorrow is Trivia Tuesday. So I guess I'm going to be talking about New Year's Eve again.

But I won't be talking about my own experiences. Thankfully, I'll be finding some trivia facts about New Year's Eve. That's if I end up talking about New Year's Eve, I might talk about something else to anyone's guess.

So thank you all for listening. Thank you. And you know, genuinely, I mean, there's some of you might be asleep, some of you might be not asleep, I don't know.

But I really do appreciate all of you for listening. And the kind words that you say when you send me messages and you know, I do appreciate that. So thank you.

You give me purpose. So thank you very much. So lots of love.

Remember to be kind to yourself, be gentle with yourself, because you do deserve to be happy. Lots of love. Bye.