(music) Sunday Papers Let me bore you to sleep #1313 30th March 2025

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name's Jason Newland. This is Let Me Boyd Asleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

And this is Sunday's Newspapers. It's Sunday the 30th of March. The clocks went forward last night or this morning at one o'clock this morning which means what's the time now it's 6 23 6 24 p.m it's still bright outside normally around this time it'd be getting ready wouldn't be dark wouldn't be dark but it'd be getting ready to be you know to become a little bit less bright so that's nice it being lighter an hour later in the morning um i'm not fussed about that to be honest but having lighter in the evening it's nice it's nice but not so great

for people that have to get up at five in the morning because they've suddenly gone from being or six in the morning whatever i don't know what time what time does it get light six so it's going to affect people um that have to get up very early in the morning maybe light wise but um the good thing about it is it still gets light very quickly i mean here i'm not saying this is different from anywhere else in the world but the birds wake up about three o'clock in the

morning by about may so you know it starts getting light 3 30 3 o'clock 3 30 so it's yeah and it's light till like 10 o'clock i love it so um that was weird that's a weird noise to make i'm trying to think if there's anything that i need to say anything that i need to not really just let you know that i've got a in fact give me two seconds oops i'll open my webs my laptop so i've resubscribed with readly which is the app i'm using with the newspapers

and magazines so let's have a look what is this how much is did that cost 12.99 a month this is renewed today um we knew oh okay renews the 30th of april sorry renews today so that's what i'm using here uh the latest i've been uploading videos on YouTube and i've got them scheduled for midnight so i'd like you know the next day so i've got the third so tomorrow i've got one being released and i've got the first of april being released and these are whisper recordings with background music

and a video a video video video lovely videos of puppy not puppies like kittens or flowers and stuff like that yeah i'm quite pleased with them they're pretty good actually if i took them yeah if i play this one let's have a look because the quality of the image is quite nice so peaceful whispers this is two days away i've got the volume down but there's like pink flowers blowing in the wind it's really nice peaceful whispers on the screen for a few seconds and it's going to come off move

get off now get off now it's enough i might have misjudged how long that was on there for come on that's no it's still on there it's supposed to only be on there for about oh it's gone from there good then like comment comment subscribe that was very quick so that came on and at the bottom there's a jasonnewland.com thing and there's about blimey 50 or 60 different video clips of flowers some of them are opening up some of them blown in the wind and it's lovely it's really nice actually

and the quality is really good the quick picture quality is really really good so yeah so that's what i've done and at the moment i'm releasing one a day on YouTube these are some of the recordings it's kind of older recordings audio recordings and i've basically revamped them as it were for YouTube so yeah i'm pretty pleased with that so they're scheduled scheduled and currently i've got 1544 subscribers and yes it's kind of it's just ticking away ticking away tick tick tick tick tick in away and here i am now

uh also got Facebook group reload page there's a Facebook group gone where is it okay Facebook is jason newland boring group uh if you just search that in Facebook you'll find me a good place to ask me questions uh i did have one question actually which was from michelle hope all is well i haven't seen a new podcast in a few days this was yesterday and it was yes 3 47 in the morning this was just before to be fair i don't know when i released the q a friday i

don't know if it was in the evening or early hours of saturday morning but i'd already made that recording yeah actually it did answer thanks michelle i'm just in the process of editing this week's q a friday so thank you so that was that was all done this week going forward i don't know what i'm going to do regarding recordings i might try and do a q um what's it boring objects monday tuesday trivia or trivia tuesday you know we'll see whisper wednesday possibly and here's a couple of things a

couple of updates this might actually be useful for anyone listening i'm thinking i might do a an actual video specifically for this thing because i'm seeing i'm looking out for my elderly neighbor he's just under 80 and so we've been going through his bills trying to see where he can cut costs a little bit you know just if he's being overcharged or paying for stuff he's not using so for example with the his internet provider that also provides television and stuff there's stuff on there that he doesn't use anymore that

he's getting charged for and he's out of contracts we could actually get it cheaper now if he signs another contract probably about maybe 20 quid a month cheaper so things like that we were going through things and he said to me we were going to like the water bills and electric bills and stuff and uh he said he's paying 90 pound a week no 90 pound a month for his water bill and i i just like yeah yeah sure i didn't say that to his face but i thought he must

have meant every three months because i pay about 78 80 ish you know depends but that you know once a month not every three months sorry below me and we're both single people living on our own same size flat one bedroom flat but then he went i don't i think he must have realized that i wasn't not not not not believing him well i wasn't believing him but not not in a bad way just i thought it must mean he must have been every three months because realistically 90 pound a

month is just ridiculous there's like no way in the world you could have the taps running all day long and you still wouldn't get a 90 pound a month bill for water well it turns out he knocks on my door said he hands me a bill and he had it forecast for the next year and it's just it was 90 pound a month he was paying and i'm like how he said i don't know i said have you never questioned it he said no and he's lived there for it's about

1998 so however many years that is and he's been paying he's never had um he's always been paying a lot of money for his he just figured that was the amount it costs for water so he didn't question that he just paid it every month direct debit for the last 25 30 years whatever it is 25 years so i call up the water company with him because i'll make phone calls on his behalf but i do it when he's in the room and they ask him do they give permission you

know stuff like that just because his hearing isn't so great and um i know kind of how to deal with call centers and people like that just because i worked in call centers so i kind of okay with that stuff face-to-face different on the phone i'm all right because they can't see what i'm doing no i don't know why i said that it's wrong let's move on they can't see what i'm wearing no again that could be weird that could be just as an you know so it's not that weird

necessarily but i wasn't wearing anything so so my my neighbor sitting on the city i'm phoning this company up now it's not like with the electric and gas companies loads to choose from you can swap over every year if you want this is there's only one there's no options you either go with this company or you have no water that's it you know you got thames water which covers london and parts of you know that area and you've got different water companies around the country but this one we've got for

our area and there's no other alternative other than buying bottled water or carrying a bucket to the local lake the local pond so yeah there's no choice so in my mind there's no reason why he why would he be paying that so much more than me and but i was going in it with a very i have a positive attitude towards the water company that we use because just before christmas i was going through a lot of financial difficulties having to try and cut down my costs and the water company

gave me 50 discount for i think six months off my water so i've got nothing bad to say about them until now so i'm pleased with the way they treated me and you know in all fairness they were very lovely on the phone the two people i spoke to were very nice on the phone very friendly and also went out of their way to change change the situation as was but no competence competence and no no way of getting that money back apparently the overpayment so the reason he was getting

he was charging he's being charged 90 pound a month is because he doesn't have a water meter i just assumed that everybody had water meters now this is the first time i've ever lived in a flat on my own yeah for the last 10 years and i don't know but i'm figuring it might be the first time he ever lived on his own so he didn't know if i didn't know stuff like that he just received a bill the same as the previous tenant and that was how much the water

was i had exactly the same thing except i did have a water meter and they would charge me 80 pound a month 78 pound not a month every three months so you know and i've and that's not a lot i think 78 pound 80 pound every you know it's two four six 25 pound a week or something 25 pound a month sorry which is not you know it's all right i've never really been too worried about that generally although it was nice to get a bit of help last year so

i speak to them and they say yeah he's just been paying it i said i was very careful with my wording i mean i did say firstly that they've been really helpful to me so this is not a personal attack on the company is also what i'm about to say is it's not a personal issue with you you'd see the person i was talking to because i know that they have no control over what the company does they're not responsible for any of that stuff they're just answering the phones i

know that so i was trying to point out like you know there's frustration here but it's not like just a bit of frustration and she said you sound frustrated i said no i don't mean it like that and she's anyway the way that the water company works it is if they send a bill out to someone for 90 pound a month and the person pays the bill they leave it at that they don't do anything there's no no issue but if the customer phones up and says why am i paying

so much they'll then tell the customer oh it's because you haven't got a water you haven't got a water meter therefore you know if you get a water meter put in you'll get your water your water bills will be a lot less like a third less or something two thirds less and i understand to the degree that it's bills are sent out automatically by computer so there's no human beings probably even looking at these figures but how many thousands if not hundreds of thousands but let's say just like 10 000

people out there were in the same position they may be elderly or may be just vulnerable or in a situation where they just can't face they'd rather just pay the bill without thinking about it without having to make phone calls because they can't face doing that and i understand that as well in a sense of like they'd rather just pay it if they're told it's 90 pound a month that's what they assume it is and they don't question it which is what i would have done when i moved in here

i wouldn't have questioned it if it'd be 90 pound a month i didn't have the first clue how much water bills were i'd never paid a water bill before in fact i expected it to be 90 like that kind of money really generally so so what happened is they said well there's nothing we can do about it from we can't backdate it it's down to the customer to report it if the customer doesn't complain we don't do anything about it i said okay um but we can do something about it

now i said okay what can you do she said all right give me some time stop pressuring me sorry it's only my first day okay sorry and she's basically she got they got it down to they took his details and they got the price down but also he's a vulnerable adult as well he's elderly he's well nearly 80 so he's been retired for like 15 16 years or whatever 17 years 18 years 19 years 15 years 14 years i don't know but he's retired anyway and they got down to 12

pound 50 a month from 90 down to 12 pound 50 which is a lot less than i'm paying so it's like which is fine you know i mean he's i didn't even realize going through his finances just because we had to do that for the phone call in order to get him help i didn't realize pensioners don't get paid much like the government pension it's really it's yeah it's i was a little bit shocked to be honest with you and in the end he says how much you get in a

month you know how much i'm getting now it's okay i'll tell you blindly because he was just because suddenly i know all this information about him but i'm not gonna tell anyone blimey i can't remember anyway i wasn't that interested they got down to 12 pound 50 and a month and they're sending they're getting a new meter put in um i don't know when i did write it down somewhere oh i've got it on the wall oh okay good blimey so i've got it on the wall stuck on the wall

so he's got a new meter coming in and then i don't really know how to proceed because he's just he's gone and told his friend about what happened his friend has gone and contacted um her dad who's in exactly the same position she didn't even realize because he's living on his own and he's paying she didn't know because he's he's i think he's possibly a bit younger than than my neighbor maybe he's in his 70s but still he didn't he he's getting charged way more than he should be getting charged

monthly so how many more people are out there that are being charged overcharged for no reason other than the fact that they've not phoned up the company and you know one of the reasons why my neighbor didn't get a meter put in like the smart meter because um he has had phone calls saying oh do you want a smart meter not do you want a meter but do you want to change it for a smart meter and he said no because he saw on tv saying that they were dodgy and

they were overcharging people blimey he's i said well you need a meter just the fact he hasn't got eight how do they judge how much someone's using and apparently it was based on the property value i said it's a council flat he doesn't own it he's just renting he doesn't he wouldn't know how much is worth i wouldn't know how much my place is worth it's financially not worth anything to me it's worth more than money to me but you know i mean it's not worth there's no money in it

for me there's no i don't own it that's what i'm saying i don't own it actually i do know roughly about 170 grand 180 grand i was about 115 when i moved in i think but that's only based on one of the flats in this building is private uh it was they bought it um probably a long time ago and they rent it out privately so and there's another one nearby as well it's also been purchased in a different building next to us so i looked at the prices of those

and yeah they got them cheap because you can get like up to 70 off i think or used to be able to get 70 so you buy a flat let's say it's 100 grand 70 off so you pay 30 grand for 100 grand flat he's not allowed to sell it for five years or six years or something like that i mean wow that's amazing isn't it really and then in five years time it's going to go up by another 20 grand maybe 30 grand i'm just going on a hundred grand

thing but yeah i wasn't quite i wasn't quite in that position to be fair when i moved in i was just happy to have somewhere to live that wasn't moldy so yeah if anyone's uh if that's of interest to anyone check it out if you've got a vulnerable friend or elderly neighbor or family member just check in the uk anyway it might be the same in other countries just check to see what they're paying for their water bill every month if it's a monthly bill because if it's excessive then it

might basically mean that they're being ripped off basically but apparently the water company's not doing anything wrong because it's up to the customer to complain which i don't know again i'm not i'm happy with the way i've been treated by the company but it does leave a little bit of a tinge that any company would work like that where they wouldn't it just seems a little bit uh do you know what i mean it's almost i'm gonna heard that about some airline companies plane you know plane companies and that is

quite often they just say no straight away if you try and get a refund something went wrong or whatever they just automatically say no until you push them and push them and push them with the hope that you'll go away and eventually they'll pay you know for whatever maybe you've lost luggage or maybe you've lost this is what i've heard from a lawyer on the radio so i don't know if it's true or not i'm not an expert on anything except farting i'm very good at that but i don't know

the history you know i'm not i'm not that kind of expert to be fair it's hard to get a book on it i've looked history of farting maybe that should be my autobiography could be could be so yeah so just i might make a video just on this subject specifically stick on YouTube and ask people look just check is your elderly or it doesn't have to be elderly it could be anyone someone that's got a flat a house for the first time and just doesn't know what kind of prices a

water bill should be because 90 pound a month didn't seem it does seem like a lot to be fair but that's because i've been paying 80 quid every three months yeah it's quite i don't know i don't know i think i was expecting probably when i moved in i was probably expecting like 10 15 quid a week for water because electric gas that'd be right 10 15 quid i thought it'd be roughly the same as electric and gas but it isn't at all and my electric and gas is about 130

135 a month oh here's another one i know i'm moaning now sorry i my neighbor a different neighbor said oh why don't you change the octopus change the octopus they're so much better they're so much cheaper so i said all right so i did i was paying 130 pound direct debit 135 pound direct debit every month with the one i was with i don't know eon or electron or whoever it was that i'd been with for nine years i joined octopus energy and they gave me a deal 94 pound a

month and bearing in mind this is when i was trying to do everything i could to cut down my monthly expenses this is the end of last year like november time i was really just trying to like can i just get things cut down and i was so pleased i know it's not a lot of money but it's still blimey it's 30 quid is that 30 quid 40 quid 94 104 114 124 134 so yeah 40 pound a month saved that's over 35 pound a year so i was thinking yeah

i was really pleased with that being with them since probably november december november december so what's now now march well end of march they sent me an email a message about three two two three weeks ago saying that because i'm using more electricity than they thought i would do and they're going to put it up because apparently i'm raising up a debt so they put it up to 135 pound or 130 pound a month for next month i thought the whole point of a fixed tariff is i paid 94 pound

a month regardless of what i use but no so what's the point never 94 pound tariff it's pointless it's a complete waste of time you might as well give me a tariff of three pound it's three pound a month tariff but still going to cost you 130 pound a month but we'll just put it as three pound looks amazing doesn't it it's absolutely ridiculous because they were basing it on my previous bills and they said well if you have the same usage as before it'll be 94 not 130 isn't that

brilliant mr jason and i was like it really is i'm ever so happy i wish you could see me do cartwheels right now and he said are you really doing cartwheels i said no we laughed but it was like what oh they take and then they give no they give and then they take you know i mean they they they they stroke with one hand and punch you with the other that's that's what i mean so yeah that's it really um just be careful be honest with those maybe you can

help a neighbor or help a loved one i do wonder there must be a way of getting some of that money back but i don't know don't know what the rules are for that stuff and he doesn't seem to be bothered about getting it back but then he wasn't bothered about paying it every month either he just accepted it because he'd been doing it for blimey decades that's a lot of money though isn't it you think the with inflation an average amount he's got a discount now so let's say his

average monthly was 25 pound a month so 35 45 55 65 75 85 90 so it's 65 pound a month so that's over 700 pound a year let's let's base that on today's rate over that period so over 20 years that's like 14 grand i mean it'll be less but it would be now be 14 grand now because they wouldn't include because if they got it back then it'd be less than that wouldn't it because they wouldn't include inflation but yeah i don't understand are they confused they confused indeed blimey

so i should get on with the papers where shall i start i'll start with the mirror shall i start with a mirror or shall i start with the sun no start with the daily oh there is no sun they don't have the sun in here daily star i'll start with a daily star and i'll start with a daily mirror they're all the same to be fair there's not a lot of difference between them so here we go let's have a look happy mother's day oh yeah happy mother's day to those

of you that celebrate mother's day so if i was to buy this it would be £2.80 for the newspaper just for one newspaper £2.80 blimey okay so i'll move on from there can't do the front page because it's horrible social media giants social media giants to help on boat gangs okay that's a fishing story i suppose more voters say eu trade should trump deals should trump deals more voters say eu trade should trump deals with us with us many of us believe the uk should be prioritized should it's not even

written i can't what is written but it's not great grammar or my eyes are not working oh vicky patterson shaw has a lot to smile about at the moment brilliant sign of the time lord dr who star nikiti gatois has learned sign language for a storyline featuring deaf actress rose ailing ellis and strictly winner rose 30 plays a mum trapped on an alien world uh what is it this is page four mums okay no can't bother that gotta move on from there i'm only gonna read out stuff that isn't horrible

so which doesn't give me a lot of choice next next time you see your friends tell them about pension credit you know what so that's another thing if there's any pensioners in the uk that don't know about pension credit then you're not you do not have enough money to live on unless you're very very wealthy because the pension about pension credit is nothing it's such a small amount of money and the pension credit which is benefits you know with all the uh the government want to get rid of benefits well

most of the people on benefits are actually working you know people with kids pensioners people you know so this whole get you know aim at getting pensioners um who's seen adultery he's got eye problems um 81 yeah that's the thing isn't it it's yes guitarist pete townsend 79 admitted to having a complete knee replacement four weeks ago but added because i'm superman i'm here yeah should have been put in prison so fish fingers fans could want to stay at captain birdseye lighthouse that's good three killed in no no blimey blimey

i nearly read that out ah metal and the thing is i wish the newspapers would break it into like really horrible stuff horrible stuff and just mildly horrible stuff break it into three different categories because it's fit and adverts because it's very different and maybe sports and horoscopes and a bit of entertainment it's very difficult to kind of avoid it matalan 20 off when you spend 40 pound wow 25 off 25 only spend 60 pound online only but the other one is in store and online the problem with this though

this is in store but how do you oh it's because how do you cut out the voucher from a computer screen but i guess you can't really can you i was just thinking how i'm going to get that out of there but it is this is an actual newspaper isn't it so i guess you can from the newspaper but with the online one you can just visit metaland.co.uk for those that are you really going to bark i didn't turn i didn't i didn't stop the recording because your barks very quiet

but i prefer if you didn't bark though vinnie that would suit me very nicely if you behaved yourself it's been a little bit it's a little bit barky earlier yours if i win it will be for mum says golden buzzer window lyndon from lynda from britain's got talent uh all right is that one again is it okay cool wage boost is backed by most voters labour's national minimum wage boost is backed by most people no matter how they vote a poll has revealed these polls okay and i'm not this is

not um a racist rent these polls uh on tuesday minimum pay for 21s will rise from 11 44 to 12 21 the thing is they can't i know this how it works they try and do statistics by interviewing we interviewed 300 people and 70 of those people said that they they thought that the increase in minimum wage is a good idea so 700 people there's 70 million people in this country really you cannot you're not gonna get the overall um i really don't don't believe that would work very well as

a statistic personally and i don't know if yeah it might just be me how many people did they didn't say more than 77 percent support the increase yeah so they haven't said how many people they did but apparently 11 44 over 20 for 21s 11 44 to 12 21 an hour and for those age 18 to 20 it jumps from 860 to 10 pound and apprentices work workers age 16 to 17 will see their pay go up from 640 to 755 i had this conversation years ago i did a trial

at q q and b b and q b and q q and a q something m and m n m and q it's two letters something and something and not b and q that's a different store on truck anyway there's this young female there she was probably about i don't know 17 18 19 something like that and she was she was like talking and she was also doing a trial as well same as me i was unemployed and it just it was just to see whether or not i could do

the job and you know whether or not i liked it and stuff so there was no pressure and there was no payment or anything and she just started now she wasn't on she was on a trial as far as she just started working there it was her first week but she was employed but you know there's always a trial of a month's trial or something i suppose a two-week trial whatever so she's having this conversation with me in front of the manager which probably wasn't a good idea from her perspective

possibly but she was saying because you know back then and this is blimey 50 this is over over nine years ago probably she was saying it's not fair that for people over 21 get paid more than people under 21 for doing exactly the same job and i said yeah i agree it's ridiculous and i some people say oh yeah but people over 21 they got more to pay out for not necessarily you know it's people i was living on my own when i was 16 and i was you know it's

people have different circumstances and if it's the same job i mean i've always been one to think well if you're going to get paid more kind of on merit you know like how long have you been there what responsibilities do you have is you know that's that seems to that's kind of how it used to be and but the idea of i didn't feel too bad for her because i was as i pointed out i'm not getting paid anything mate so she actually shut her up a little bit but it

seemed a bit yeah it doesn't seem fair that someone could work in a be on a counter in boots for example or on a cashier at sainsburys again i don't know what they pay but that someone 21 would be getting paid three pound nine ten four pound more an hour or two pound two or three pound more an hour than the person next to them just because they're a year older it's like you think that's 40 hours three pound what 37 let's say just 40 hours for example so that's that's

that's over that's over 23 pound a week extra in it uh andrew tate's in the news again oh well uh okay uh buy six and save 25 there's a bit about um ester ranson ester ranson is one of the she's um an icon in this country because of what she's done she started a charity called child line where you could phone up and get help and stuff so she's an absolute legend and she's made a huge impact on people's lives and she's very poorly and i won't go into any more

details because oh okay there's other stuff that i buy six and save 25 sainsbury's brilliant jacket 28 pound in tu what's tu oh it's sainsbury's clothes do you know what it stands for thank you to you always backward you tramp i don't know working every time i don't know i've never bought stuff from sainsbury's clothes i don't think so that's like you got sainsbury's underwear yeah i stole it blimey saying underwear is a good thing to steal i'm not saying don't steal really so i'm just doing it like a joke

but if you do steal underwear put it on they don't want it back honestly if it's in your bag it's unopened they will like oh no we want it back and we're going to call the police if it's if they say we want the underpants back right we saw you you take them into the changing room you came out about them drop your pants and say there you go do you want them back and they'll say no that's right you can keep them and please don't come back please don't return

wasn't this say there was uh do you ever see signs in shops in clothes shops saying you cannot return used underwear you just can't return underwear full stop i don't think like did someone try and do that like came back you know so i've been wearing these all weekend and um they really didn't keep they didn't keep my balls cool at all i don't know if that's one of the things that advertise on underpants ball cool and pants i don't know here's something the very best of deacon blue live i

am i've got amazon music i listen to amy amazon music and i like to revisit people from the past you know uh trying to think anyone it could be anyone that i'm not like paul young for example um culture club uh you know people that i've liked but i've never ever bought their albums ever um and then i listened to the greatest hits and they put a lot of stuff on there that was never i've never heard of before then he's just uh let one go it's really bad oh i

think it's yeah i think it's him yeah either that or there's something seriously bad going on outside that window very windy today it was i mean talking about wind is very it's not now but it was it's almost like they're putting together these albums and what they do i've noticed is they start off with one of the hits memorable hits then i maybe do another one and then i'll put a song that i've never heard of maybe people that love them that bought their albums and they'll maybe popular songs to

their to their big fans they'll put them on there and then i'll put their biggest hit right near the end like intertwined with i don't want to use the word filler fillers but kind of for those that don't you know i i love yeah i love a lot of these this the singers and the songs they did everywhere you lay my hat that's my home i mean that's brilliant song the idea of the common people far from the part of a family man but even culture club i mean they were

huge but they weren't just huge here they were huge worldwide but even on the 18 to get on the 18 you gotta be pretty amazing but then you've got stuff that um john lennon's greatest hits and then they have songs from the beatles now okay fair enough i mean you know i think it's fair to argue that he was quite a big part of the beatles and he did sing on some of the songs i'm not arguing that but paul mccartney doesn't when he does the greatest hits he never puts

songs from the beatles on his on his albums the greatest hits of him mind you he does put stuff he did with wings so that's kind of the same isn't it not i don't know yeah yeah i'm a big fan of uh john lennon woman see i can't sing i can sing if i'm not going to i can hardly express blah blah blah blah blah blah humbleness right okay jason bt says keeping a watch on west minster right i don't know him the only stripping i do these days is of

wallpaper linda lussardi blimey the fact that i'm not i don't got just i can see her face no no it's linda lussardi our linda lussardi if anyone doesn't know she was a model about what 12 years for 12 years in the pay tree girl in the newspapers that's you know back in the day when they had that's such a thing there is change now but she was very very very very famous lucy 20 out she's i still get asked to be photographed in bikinis i did it at 50 and swimmer

at 60 but not so much now um right magpies it's tune for joy so this is this is football uh ones for more than 300 000 magpie magpie fans gathering one place it can only mean one thing the pubs are opened early i don't know the tune army turned their city black and white yesterday as newcastle united paraded the caribou cup caribou is that sweet is that like a chocolate bar caribou the team's first trophy in 70 years as you know i used to be um i used to live in

newcastle well you might not know that but i did huge crowds littered lined the streets as their football heroes showed off the silverware on an open top bus the players were joined by club legend turned telepundit alan shirer and geordie tv duo anti anthony anton deck it's their first trophy in 70 years so alan shirer was in that club and they never and he was he was one of the top people in the in the england team but they never won a trophy with him in the team oh i don't

know much about football but i do know that i love you and i know that if you love me too what a wonderful world this will be we will build 6.8 billion into the economy says angela reyna making a face i know it's just a normal so i thought she's making a face for the camera but i think she's just normal face labor's building boost will pump 6.8 billion into the economy enabling ministers to put more funding into the nhs and public services cool um wow i think this looks like

it's a pro a pro um labor paper this one because they didn't they weren't snidey at all monday 17 18 powers never heat in an empty room again know your power yeah but anyone knows that you need to keep empty rooms warm otherwise they get cold and to heat a cold room takes a lot more energy than just to keep it gently you know on the boil not on the boil but you know a little bit of heat you know if you go on holiday in the middle of the winter

come back how long does it take to heat your property up when you've been gone for even just a few days and if you're heating off the whole time it's it's almost like it's impossible to get it hot or get it warm so yeah yeah i'm gonna have a i have the heating on in my kit in my bedroom i'm not in there i don't know what else to say about that but uh put all your eggs in one basket oh look 98 98 pence for a medium egg easter egg

top quality pope francis doctor says he's been very lively since returning to the vatican vatican after the pontiff 88 appears frail so he's he's he's recovering which is good over 60s another advert over 60s uh 10% discount in store every tuesday simply scan your bonus card app at the check card or checkout it doesn't say where it is iceland that's why we go to iceland did you know our customers aged over 60 save an average of 120 pound per year with our tuesday 10 discount no app no problem scan here

to apply today it's got one of those barcode things barcodes is that what they call them wow and josie xxx is the uh person advertising that over 60s you know what's sad in six years time that'll be me in five what we what we now end of march april may june july august five months time i'll be 55 which means in five years and six months for five years and five months actually five years and five months i'll be 60 help help me will smith addresses his his infamous oscar altercation

with chris rock i do believe that an altercation is when two people are involved you know that it was an attack it wasn't an altercation and the fresh prince of bel-air 56 appears to slap appeared to slap comic chris 16 why are they saying appeared he slapped him it was live on television what do you mean it appeared to slap him it came after chris made a joke about what actor will also on a best actor the opening track begins with him saying will smith is cancelled actor will also won

the best size what words freshen it all right so he's got a new song i heard he won the oscar but he had to give it back oh okay why would they use that word in though it came after chris made a joke about will's wife and oh yeah the fresh prince of bel-air star 56 you think they could find think of something else that they could um connect to will smith wouldn't you after 40 years of being in the business in show business i mean it must have been fresh

prince of bel-air was in his late 80s to 90s so i would say 35 yeah at least probably 40 years he's been a celebrity and he's been in a lot of movies why do they keep going back to something he did four years ago in the future to probably refer to him as mr slappy mr slappy man i don't think mention him as he's because he was also uh had lots of huge hits with summer time remember oh there's another advert which one is this one millions could save more with

british gas oh but they've got a like a money box but the money box is a house with a big slot in its roof okay yippee kisha is back so this is no janine yacoub yacoub y-a-q-o-b yacoub i don't know if i've pronounced it correctly yippee kisha is back with new music and a new direction you can also depend on your love is my drug singer to bring the fun and she certainly does with yippee kai yay going down the country route like beyonce the catchy new track features rapper t-pain

oh brilliant uh right ed sheeran says his new single came out of dealing with deep stuff uh romance and multi-million dollar lawsuits he revealed it reveals old phone was written after he looked at messages from his previous mobile which he had not used since 2015 ed had to give the handset to lawyers in his fight with marvin gaye's estate for allegedly ripping off let's get it on for his smash stinking out loud he won the case in 2023 with an appeal ruling also backing him in november last year ed says

i had to go through all the voice notes and the pictures and all that for the lawyers it was like going into a time machine first text was my friend the second was an argument with an ex the third was about family member um fourth text was uh i was kind of scrolling down it really spun me out that day i wrote in my notes i found my old phone today and then finished this as a song and then i ended up writing it into a song okay okay i don't

think that article is going to win any awards but well you know it's interesting you know i guess five insists they are still bad boys with the power to rock you as they reunite 25 years on the guys reunite reunited i say reunite reunite reunite richie neville abbs love jay brown sean conlon and scott robinson promise they can still bring the fun jay says anyone thinks that we might be farting it taming so i'm taming it down that's absolutely not what's going on what we are going to do we are

going full throttle their tour kicks off cardiff in october we're a very low stage they can actually get on a little lift geordie's they'll have seats they'll be sitting down can't be that old 25 years so they're probably only 20 when they did it so 45 still fairly young uh lulu and s anastasia have revealed how shaka khan once said something outrageous to the late queen but were sworn to secrecy about it as lulu recalled the encounter on her turning points podcast anastasia added maybe it's good we can't tell anybody

what she said the queen made us forget it she was such a good lady those were the good old days if you're not going to tell us what she said why build it up why why go forward and then not tell us i wasn't reading that because i wanted to hear what their opinion was i wanted to hear what did she what did she actually say what did shaka khan shaka khan say to the queen that's what i want to know jls lads keep the club alive so jls have let

us in on the secrets of their upcoming tour and it sounded epic um so why are you getting back together money the foursome promises to flash the flesh oh really um is that them now is it they don't look the same i just i know they're older but they just don't they're not i mean how long ago was jls i can't even remember when did they first come out so i used to like jls jls jls let me just check jls j because jls was from the x factor jls english

board was it the x factor 2008 wow that's over 10 years it's over 11 years it's over 12 years over 13 14 15 16 17 17 wow it's quite a long time now they just look different like really different i'm looking at a picture of them and it's like yeah of course they look different they're older but they just look really different like because they're so young so young back then and you've got um he was born 1988 so they were 20 so now 37 so yeah this they should look

different still look lovely of course but just yeah well good for them dinner essentials price match to ld oh that's good lollipop chop lollipop men and women have been lollied have been what lopped by more than 50 okay lollipop men and women have been lopped i've never heard the word lopped before um by more than i mean chopped would probably be the other word wouldn't it dropped chopped but lopped by more than 50 in 10 years all right i just had to have a little break there finney was barking i

had to close the window because there was a couple of dogs like and he started going howling he was so lollipop men and lollipop men and lollipop ladies have been reduced by 50 percent in the last 10 years my only memory of lollipop yeah i think there's a lollipop man no there's two there was a lollipop lady who worked near where i lived i don't know why she why there was no school there i know there was a school but it was a bit further up it was one of those

hidden schools which might sound strange but there's this like alleyway and there's a school there i know it's like strange but these kids yeah so they she used to be there for that and when i went to one of my junior schools when i was eight there used to be a lollipop man there i don't know every day we say what flavors your lollipop today and he'd say shut up cross the road he was a bit grumpy sometimes but sometimes like a strawberry and i think at one point he's had

a bit problems with his wife you know home problems and they stopped being quite as friendly he'd like hurry up get across the road go on move okay what flavors your lollipop he'd chase us trying to hit us with it but other than that he was nice he was good good lollipop man but he was very friendly was like it's banana now there is there's a cut-off point with lollipop men having banter with them and i found out the cut-off point was early 20s you know they don't want to do

it anymore like you know first of all why do you keep turning up and crossing over because it's only there twice a day you know just before school starts just after school finishes and he said you're just turning up to talk to me i said yeah he said it was cute when you were seven or eight but it's a bit weird now okay he said you're 35 now can you you know you're 52 anyway i think lollipop men and lollipop ladies are brilliant and they are very very super important because

traffic lights don't even seem to they don't always stop cars i mean they're pretty good but they don't always stop car people don't somehow they don't see them zebra crossings don't always work some people don't like to stop for zebra crossings even though they're supposed to but when you've got a human being in a big fluorescent top holding a big lollipop with saying stop it's hard not to see that and yeah blimey yeah i think it should be everywhere i personally do i think we should have lollipop men and lollipop

ladies and lollipop penguins whatever but every traffic every um zebra crossing i would tell you when i was uh i was on holiday once and i was in a place where no one stopped at traffic lights no one stopped at zebra crossings nothing they just drove right through and i thought i'm gonna have to cross this big road again i'm gonna have to try and dodge the traffic some people would stop but some people just wouldn't you know it depended on what they what mood they were in and they'd stop

if there was a lot of people all crossing at the same time because they had no choice and but it's very much like wildebeest crossing the crocodile river you know it's just like good luck anyway i'm crossing and then all of all the traffic stops and i'm thinking see they respect me they can tell they can tell just by looking at my elegance that they should abide by the law so i start across the road i'm waving to them you know just being friendly smiling and i think i'm doing really

well here it's like it's like i parted the red sea almost but there was no sea and it wasn't red and i realized behind me or to the side of me there's four police women crossing the road and it's like and i looked at her and i laughed and i said well you're laughing at and i said they wouldn't have stopped without you and they said we know so i just followed them i said can you can you cross the other road as well so i can come with they said

yeah okay so i did that's the whole story um it was enjoyable at the time i don't think i really made the best of the story and to read i don't think i've really sold it very well but it was it was nice oh aldi price match was a lot of supermarket uh things statue troll has everyone tolkien so it's supposed to be talking but tolkien as in the lord of the rings man is being done with the tolkien triangle and tolkien tolkien tolkien the jrr tolkien picture right spent almost

18 months in a hole and east yorkshire recovering um it's really weird you know someone's really famous and they put plaques don't they they stayed here lived here for five years lived here for the last six years of their life were born in this building like you've got stuff like that for freud and for charlie chaplin these huge stars that have been long gone now but their plaques are where they went where they visited you're like it's ridiculous charlie chaplin did a poo in this public toilet in 1945 you know

it was a big blocked the toilet now here's a photograph you know it's just it's weird it's weird mums who charity that helps kids live dreams with help from louise red nap knapp from these okay cool that's nice um although there's a picture of a lady holding up her little baby or little little child at a window because she's always wanted to get close to her to a lion and i mean that lion is not thinking friendly things guarantee you that i always wanted to i always wanted always wanted to

see a lion look like they wanted to eat me can you do that please mummy yeah of course we can ross kemp okay being on eastenders set without okay that's weird being on eastenders set without bar was emotional without bar ruins of the bar okay right okay fair enough gary barlow songbook tour 2025 wow that's good and you've got clubland arena tour i don't know what that is clubland anyone clubland the biggest clubland shows of all time i don't know what do you does anyone know who gary barlow is there's

people around the world that may not know but he's very very famous in this country he was in a band in the 90s and he went solo didn't do very well solo and he got back together so robbie williams did really well solo after he had a big hit with angels it wasn't going so well before that and then it went really well gary barlow's career didn't go so good and he got back together with take that and became huge again and in his solo career i'm not sure if he's

had a solo career since then but he just is kind of i think he's one of those people that kind of do what he wants i mean he's very talented writer singer performer and i don't know if he's had any single hits i don't know because he's a singer he's the main singer and take that so let it shine then really in a way a lot of their earlier that their later stuff was better than their earlier stuff and otherwise their earlier stuff was much better than their later stuff you

know it really depends on how you look at it oh look inspired carpets winter tour 2025 so it's a carpet shop going on tour how weird tomorrow's here today lightning seeds 35 years great in grace's greatest hits tour 35 years how to feel old blimey okay best deal as well donor has given me registered jewish still vital health first mother's day at home after being set free by gift of organs see organ donation is amazing although so i know someone that had that i think a kidney or something and he

i think he was engaged or just newly married or something like that and his wife turned out to be a perfect donor so they did it and you know he survived and it's brilliant it's like he's doing well but i was thinking i was thinking at the time it's a long time ago if the for whatever reason the relationship doesn't work out that has a little a slight a slight um awkwardness doesn't it you know you can't ask for it back can you and how do you split with someone who's

saved your life in ways that literally you're you've got part of their body inside and that's weird yeah you know i mean yeah but maybe that bond maybe that there's something because you can never not be grateful how can for the rest of your life you're going to be grateful to that person unless you're i mean how could you not i mean i'm grateful for things people did like 30 years ago still grateful i mean it's you know i don't show it and i don't let them know but still am

oh look x factors shirloid in 2010 i liked shirloid she was good she did the sound of a helicopter at the end of one of the songs um life's too short to waste it vacuuming we hate vacuuming so much we made the vax home throw with a range of features to get the job done as quickly as quickly as done as quickly as humanely possible okay uh 179 pound 99 the new vax home pro range five-year guarantee that's all right isn't it um time to shine live your best life beauty

of our deep south why we should all ensure our precious income income income dust bust now the weather's warmer all the latest movies oh blimey bit of gas there that was nice glad i could share it with you music brian ferry and amelia barrett i'm just skipping through sorry this is still okay there is a movie that looks quite interesting to me and it's called what's the name of the pain drug pain stuff but it's basically it's the bloke that's in the boys he's one of the stars of the tv

show the boys and he can't feel pain which is just that's something i'm very very interested in but it's got a name it's like a man can't feel pain can't feel pain movie i mean that was the kind of the premise of um not slap slap boy kick-ass that was the premise of that wasn't it he was injured to the point where he couldn't his nerves had gone so he did like his physical couldn't physically feel anything jack quaid is that jason quaid's son or john quaid or whatever his name

was jack quaid stars in the action comedy novocaine where he can't feel pain released in 14th of march 2025 the film's trailer highlights a comedic take on quaid's pain-free abilities um novocaine stands out for being an original story not tied to an existing franchise or sequel yeah i want to see that that is yeah it appeals to me things like that appeal to me plus it's a very interesting subject but i'm sure they won't be going into that anyway but um sunday puzzles yeah yeah 30 second brain teaser okay ready

14 this is the this is the beginning and when we've got the answer at the end well we haven't but you know so boost your brain power with our 30 second test start with the number on the left and follow the instructions beginners should aim to complete the puzzle in 30 seconds intermediates should finish their own puzzle and the beginners challenge what i've got you genius players have 30 seconds to complete their own plus the intermediate good luck all right i'll just do one come on beginner so 14 plus 38

is 29 25 of this is 3 plus 53 so that's 76 7 times 7 out of 11 of this that's a percentage 7 like a fraction 7 11 so that's 90 and take away 15 so that's 12 reverse the digits 73 divided divided no um subtracted divided so divided by 6 so that's 300 and plus 29 obviously 343 got it 343 where do i check though 300 i haven't got the answers solution in next week's sunday mirror come on well i'm pretty certain i know what is anyway so there's no

point in worrying about that blimey have we got where was the um horoscope is there a horoscope where's the horoscope baby oh here we go russell grant so go through aries first you are suddenly uncertain about where a certain project is heading you have invested a lot of time and effort into this work but you are being realistic now and you are accepting that it might not pay off you need to decide i can't be bothered i want my one what's mine there's a remarkable sense of honesty and openness in

your closet relationship no closest wow that was a freudian slip wasn't it i honestly thought it said closet i didn't see the s so closest closest i need new glasses closest relationships as it's as if everyone is determined to keep the lines of communication open and to encourage deep and committed deep and committed connections this will make you grateful for the friendships around you i don't know what to make of that i did to be fair i did have someone that i've not spoken to for a while send me a

text message reminding me that i owe them money time to unwind oh no pain no gain novocain it's a novocain isn't that's a it's not what they used to use dentists used to use novocaine didn't they don't they still do novocaine let me check no vo cane novocaine is novocaine oh now it's just the films coming up wasn't there a novocaine wasn't novocaine an actual literally a thing blimey novocaine novocaine also called procaine is a local anesthetic that targets a specific area of the body so that movie's done pretty well

isn't it because he's doing putting in search engine and the movie comes up not the information about the the drug that's been around for centuries first developed in 1905 reducing the reliance on substances like cocaine for local local anesthesia yeah i bet the patients were happy about that oh what no cocaine what ah forget it but what about your tooth oh there's nothing wrong with my tooth um don't carry the word okay retail therapies that's probably why so many people walking around without any teeth back then didn't it it's like

yeah i need to have my teeth extracted there's nothing wrong with it no there is honestly you can't come in here one every day you were here yesterday oh travel insurance over 50s all ages all conditions all destinations travel oh okay travel insurance okay okay okay come this is a travel section visiting a very special loo gives savas a new love of ancient greece on a 10-day cruise visiting a very special loo it's got my attention standing at the site of the world's first known flushing toilet it must stink this

surely has to be one of the greatest inventions ever it might surprise you to learn that this particular latrine with sophisticated sewage systems was constructed around 3500 years ago by an advanced civilization called the minoans or the crassos of crete the city had 25 000 inhabitants one toilet so it's not only the oldest it's the most used toilet in history so at the peak 25 000 inhabitants and the royal palace had more than 1500 rooms rooms yes you read that correctly they had vaults that could store 300 000 tons of

olive oil and had developed a form of agriculture that maximized open spaces and light this included the first stairs with shallower steps that were easier to climb showing that consideration was given to the elderly and the less able here you'll also find europe's first paved road i'm sorry weren't we supposed to be talking about a toilet i want to hear about the toilet we're talking about steps and stairs what's next we'll try chandeliers and ceilings i want to know about the toilet tell me more about the toilet okay and then

there's something on here which shows that it's not even a real picture it's like they've it's like ai or something there's some someone's elbow sticking out of the concrete it's weird i'd like to go on a cruise that's something that's would that would appeal to me i like i like ferries i'm like i'd be on a cruise yeah it'd be nice manchester to hong kong starts at 49 499 return that's really cheap isn't it 400 or 790 499 pound manchester from heathrow or manchester flight no i don't want to go

on a flight i want to get on the ferry and stay on the ferry no flights over 50 specialist saga has released its new europe brochure for 2025 26 featuring escorts escorts escorted tours and hosted hosts or hosted holidays early bookings can save 775 pound per person per week on trips and 50 on tours blah blah blah so i'd love to go on some cruises i think i got the bug from my dad because he loves cruises although he's yeah he hasn't been on one for a bit it's dark outside

i didn't see what time it got dark it's now eight o'clock which means i've been talking for what hour and 38 minutes give or take so i'm guessing it was probably dark by seven maybe half seven oh well whatever explore birth of a legend i could really do with some food but i'm talking like a chocolate chocolate bar oh oh nice chocolate bar power clean to new heights without mains power really i like that i've never cleaned my motorhome roof in one third of the time with a brush and didn't

break my back doing it well pleased to be fair if you're cleaning your motor home roof and you break your back you're doing it wrong however you're doing it you shouldn't be causing severe damage like that you know i think uh uh stylish and durable lutyens bench save 90 pound acacia luck jen's bench and coffee table are 159 pound 99 was 249 pound 99 which means they didn't sell it they couldn't sell it for 249 pound 99 so they've done that maybe maybe not oh look at this the most thorough

exploration of manchester united's identity ever written i must read for any united fan this is wayne barton football taught by matt busby cool the bradfords we are britain's biggest family and proud of it um i don't know what that's about i guess it's about a big family spin for the chance to win how can i do that let's play now mirror bingo.com i should get paid for these adverts i'm reading 50% of your papers for six months no what if golden egg is cracked health cover fast rates ready okay let's

have a look winters cherish cherries while you can cherish cherries while you can okay that's what this has interested me how english gardener helped extinct stunner rise again in japan the cherry trees are starting to flower the beginning of one of the most beautiful animal displays the annual displays ordinarily streets are transformed into exquisite vistas as these trees become clouds of pink and white flowers it's a short season that grabs our attention and a time to be savored cool um spring yimbley.com shelf and roll up door greenhouse oh then there's

another wall don't this yimbley raise the roof sheds greenhouses and storage for every gardener don't don't tempt me with another shed or another book cannon hall farm past present and future cool is there any boxing in the sport at all any boxing any boxing anything any boxing come on show me some boxing no i saw something um i don't know how up-to-date it was but it was lewis hamilton and it was after a race and someone a reporter in the crowd was asking they're all asking questions and one of the

reporters says or when you um someone overtook you or cut you off or whatever you said a naughty word and i think his manager said can i take this question he said you would never go at any other sportsman for for swearing you know in the heat of the moment if you and he said if you put microphones on every footballer and you heard what they said every time they were tackled you know so don't have a go just because because the racing drivers like lewis hamilton they've got microphones on

them the whole time when they were in india the willy pit and it's like they've got cameras on them they've got microphones so they can't say anything without being heard which reminds me of um we had a scottish prime minister a few years back and it was coming up to the election this is about 2010 election i think and i forget his name now he was labor and he he was on the election trail to get re-elected and he was talking to some woman and he goes into his big car

into the back of his big car afterwards and he left his microphone on or his team have left the microphone turned on and he's talking about how she was a little how the woman was a bigot or something and that kind of i'm not saying it's the only reason they didn't win but it was a huge a big old thing you know big a big bit of a do at the time no boxing there should be some more box non-sport they really don't cover boxing hardly at all there's this football

football football football which is you know fine you know there's there's so many different teams it's hard to have it all covered but boxing is a big thing and i think it's a big thing and i think it's a big thing is i don't know no no boxing no boxing no nothing so so i do sometimes wonder it's one of those sports that it doesn't get a lot of promotion it gets promotion like on YouTube um and for boxing fans the thing is football fans are going to go and watch

their team play almost regardless of how good or not they are and they'll support their team possibly forever you know it's a it's a it's a pride thing isn't it it's like a lot of people will support their football team even if the team's never won anything during their entire lifetime but they'll still support their team because it's it's what you do technically we don't need that much football stuff in the newspapers why not start putting stuff about other things i'm being grumpy now i'll stop right so that was the

mirror let's have a look what other ones are the mirror let's laugh that's what the people say the mirror the star let's open the star because there might be something mildly amusing in here you never know oh molly i love to splurge i bet you do i'd like to um i'd like to go shopping with you as well uh it's party time okay now we need ai just to change the light bulbs any bright ideas what how dim can you get brits especially the younger generation are so in the dark

about even simple tasks they need step-by-step help from a ai just to change a light bulb again having go at the young generation stop it leave the youngsters alone you know things like changing light bulbs is something that we learned from our parents is it not you know i learned how to change a light bulb yeah i think probably from my dad but it wasn't it's you know it's just something you learn is and there's nothing wrong if you haven't got if you don't if someone doesn't know how to change

a light bulb then there's nothing wrong with finding out you know they ask ai to go and chat gbt or go into you know one of the ai things ask an app ask it how to change a light bulb and then it tells them how to do it so they've learned something they're going to remember that in the future so all it is is learning what's wrong what's wrong with that leave the young generation alone i don't get that it's always every young generation it's almost gets blamed oh look all

these opinions although it's like we were all the young generation at one point i didn't really have a say in anything that happened and i wasn't one of those people that was going out protesting and stuff but if young people they've been doing that people at college age or whatever they've been protesting and going through periods of maybe being vegans or being hardcore whatever views they have and that's just part of the process isn't it sometimes i didn't have that because i didn't you know my life wasn't like that but

i was a rebel blindly when i was 21 i was a rebel i was i was i was i was i was i was in my own way i didn't tell anyone but i knew but the bear bear bear garage in okay right okay so i've got to read everything that comes out on the papers so um so page three on the daily star sunday our ellie is herself in the sunshine mood is getting herself in sunshine mood in more ways than one the 20th unreadness this is not my made-up

stuff and i'm not focusing on any particular things um yeah not focusing on anything particular that the 27 year old beauty stripped to show off her super bright orange bikini it's not orange it's yellow that's a yellow bikini that's not orange it's yellow genuinely it's yellow why would they put orange when it's not orange the writing is in orange i've got ellie in the corner that's orange that's yellow i know difference between orange and yellow i'm not saying there's no orange in the yellow because there is a there's a fine

line isn't there where you kind of where does orange start where does yellow start in this case just around the nipple area oh no but it's it's like what it's yellow it's yellow stop it oh no you said area i did say area i do i do apologize the heart's girl the heart's girl well she's 27 not really a girl but yeah anyway it's a bit sexist of them mind you they just put her in a bikini on a national newspaper so i guess sexism isn't really an issue for them

um i'm only looking at because i have to it's you know my eyes are watching but the rest of my body is absolutely detesting it i was like it's vulgar it's horrific for me to see a female in a bikini i'm gonna look down yeah or even her legs and her arms and her yeah and yeah so it's it's making me it's just very difficult for me because being a um being a modern man i don't want to see things like this i don't even want to know that that i

mean there's no reason for us to know that women have bodies it's just it's unnecessary it's unnecessary for anyone to know other people have bodies full stop we should cover ourselves up really i mean i don't know why we can't just why can't i invent something that covers up the body and i don't just show the eyes that's enough isn't it don't you show anything else um she said i may be going to dubai for six months for work i'll miss my page three shoots as though yeah you'll also miss

well you miss everything if you go around walking like dressed like that in dubai blimey we won't be seeing you again robbie williams is loving his new slim look but says his bum has shrunk yeah that's one of those things williams revealed he has been using a u.s jab to shed the pounds the 50-year-old one-year-old said i took monjaro then the then the butt wasn't there it is a miracle now i wouldn't advise it obviously i'm big i'm big farmer's poster child me all of it is big farmer and i

will pay for this at some point i don't know what he's talking about i wouldn't advise anybody to do what i'm doing so why are you telling people then knowing that you're looked up to by hundreds of people worldwide um i don't know why are you telling everyone if you don't want other people to do it the robster recently faced humiliation when his movie biopic better man bombed but he said he liked having a perp backside on screen it's very very um bottom based this article isn't it very very focused

on the better man bomb he praised the thing is um someone said about his movie that is probably one of those movies that in the future will be really good but people like like it become like a classic movie that people really like but at the moment it's not i don't know i've not seen it i really should watch it because i like robbie williams and he's got all of his i think all of his hits in there so it's but he's he's actually a monkey in it all the way

through i think so i don't quite know how that how that works u.s fans are convinced taskmaster star are in love baffled yanks see these newspapers still call americans yanks so it's equivalent of americans calling us limeys i think it's like before the first world or first second world war kind of language isn't it yanks and limeys and yeah it's weird i've not heard the term yanks in years because it isn't yankee that was like 50 of the revolution wasn't it one side was the yankees and the other side was

the yahoos or something i don't know i'm not sure how it worked but yank i mean that's that's just wrong why can't i say americans why can't they just be a bit graceful in the way they do a story i'm shocked baffled yanks think lanky their description is this really task master task master star greg davis and sidekick alex are a real life couple they even invite the prank loving pair to their nuptials what we had four wedding invites last year so on us i said people in america actually thinking

they're in love together and they they should go out and they invite them to go maybe they are in love so what model beaten by oh okay cool spoons chilled drinks weatherspoon boss sir tim martin has told ryanair chief michael o'leary to chill out and buy him a couple of pints the business man business men have been at loggerheads over cause to limit the number of drinks airline passengers can have before boarding a flight o'leary 64 has accused martin 69 lucky for some of not having to pick up the pieces

from any drunk and disorderly pieces of behavior speaking to the daily star sunday sir tim said i don't think it's sensible to bring a two drink limiting there's too many rules and regulations now so i said michael chill out let's have a chat about it you can buy me two pints of abbott i won't drink anymore so uh yeah he needs having a nice drink there probably time for him to have his dinner soon what's the time 20 past eight oh i could do with some chocolate the thing is right

i would say i never can't really understood i know it's about money and that but don't give someone alcohol and then expect them to behave you know alcohol has a has an effect on people it just i mean i don't drink anyway really so it doesn't affect me i don't drink not really into it but i think if i was going to try and calm down my nerves before a flight i would potentially drink to excess not even on purpose just you know end up drinking too much and i spent

half a time in the toilet doing wee-wees and you know you can't get into the toilet all the time so i'd end up having to do it out the window which could cause problems income actually daycare so i didn't want to know okay right men are okay here's what is another one so at least they've got a bit of humor in this paper even if it is wrong and politically incorrect men are deaf to nagging is that's a headline blokes dodgy hearing means they don't have to listen to their other

halves nagging say boffins boffins blimey men have much worse hearing than women so they don't pick up high frequencies and volumes professor turi king of bath university said this could be due to different exposure to hormones during development in the womb men and women have slight differences in cochlear anatomy um cock clear okay as well as having higher hearing sensitivity women also prefer perform better in other hearing tests and speech prescription or perception individual indiv in in blimey i can't see the words okay indicating their brains are also better at

processing information worse everyone knows that females are better with language than men overall i mean not you know individuals obviously not necessarily but um this is a different brain we've got different brains i mean everyone's got a different brain but please do tasks such as doing the dishes or taking out bins often go unheard so please to do target yeah i think it's one of those things i mean i think our eyesight starts to go and our hearing starts to go for a reason i mean i don't mean like badly

go but you know just sort of fades and i think it's probably nice not to be able to see ourselves properly in the mirror if i could see myself properly in the mirror i probably i might stop doing my only fans you know stop uh stop performing on down there oh dear uh you know it's just and it's good because then you with someone they're aging they can't see how you're aging because their eyesight's gone a little bit so they perhaps you're looking the same to them as you used to

and you're they're looking the same to you as you used to and maybe you know so that's i can see how it's a kind of quite a good thing you know because i remember my nan she had her eyes lasered and she she had to have a tattoo removed swastika no it wasn't and she she had a um she said the weird thing about it when her eyes healed she said uh she couldn't believe how old she looked and like wow because she'd worn glasses probably since her 30s and this

is when she was in a middle 80s probably at this point maybe late 80s and my middle 80s so she had her eyes lasered and she saw herself for the first time clearly for what 50 years and she like oh i didn't realize i was so old i said she should have asked me i would have told her she hit me so hard and yeah maybe boys brains without because we learn i'm pretty sure uh babies learn in the womb as they're kind of being developed once you know once they're

hearing and they you know maybe little boys realize that they're gonna have to maybe those things i've just heard too much already like nine months of this i think i might um i don't need to have as much hearing maybe i'll turn the hearing down a bit i don't know i've had girlfriends in the past it doesn't they don't seem to hear me because i'm probably more chatty than blimey some some might say that i'm chatty i'm too chatty i talk more than the average person i've always said when i

always said i mean i've never always said anything other than but now i can't remember anything that i've always said but i do i do sometimes feel like i'm more female than male in a way i'm not one of those that sit can sit there and not say a single i can but it's not my natural instinct to do that just sit and say nothing and to be all i don't know what the right word is um repressed yeah i'm not not oh there's a picture of a squirrel but it's

a red one i don't know why they got a picture of a red squirrel i don't think i've ever seen a red squirrel i might have done but i can't remember squirrels are beautiful i don't care what color i think it's so we need to just stop being so prejudiced oh so it's mother's day they're talking like that let's move on from that rip off do a lipper has won her court case over a hit song levitating the singer 29 has been accused by songwriter i russell brown and sandy linzer

of copywriting copying their 79 hit wiggle and giggle oh that's the third time you farted today vinnie um there's a lot of there's so many tunes that sound similar i'm not saying that as a grumpy old man moaning that all songs sound the same if you listen to anything you listen to any song of any generation just go to the 60s so many songs sound similar they start off with the same same music at the start it could go either way i mean it's there's some there are some songs i

don't even know which song it is until they start singing because it's the same introduction same chords or whatever millions of clueless householders and ai need ai to help them change a light bulb okay go stop going on about it heidi klum looks effortlessly chic as she enjoys a stroll around the huge in huge shades the 51 year old model german supermodel was spotted in the city's soho district her plunging neckline um drew attention as did her necklace boasting more than 1000 diamonds and she got reported by the police they

came up to her and asked her to cover herself up uh jenny i almost don't know badly i've made i'm made in chelsea not for hollywood sam thompson i don't know who that is is that a woman or a man see it's nowhere known is there with sam fans giving my yell okay oh look all right here we go in between as joe thomas still gets people shouting carly at him in the street his character simon was obsessed with school crush carly diametto played by emily head on the comedy um

yeah probably would get annoyed a little bit after a while chewy cost okay what else have we got here not itchy eyeball i ain't got time to take it out i'll just scratch it oh that's nice can't do that on camera can't do a lot of things i've done on camera while i've been doing this inferno baffled my king's rosy oh look at this this superb kingfisher looks like it's perfectly camouflaged itself on a rose um but is it always ai no way of knowing now could be a real picture

could be ai don't know no is no way of knowing these days pictures like that could be anything i mean there's there's now videos of and they do look real they do where they've kind of pulling uh like a fishing boat's got a shark and it's helping to remove a fishing net from the shark you know to help it to save it and initially it does look real then you can see that they've got like eight fingers and stuff but it's not that noticeable they do the quality is getting so

much better and but it's now getting silly and there's one the other day and you know the the the comments is just did a lot of that today and i did the comments this is like for for people that love morse code i'm communicating that way as well and they'll say oh this isn't this this is amazing i can't believe that i did this and help this shark and someone says it's ai i said no it's not ai what do you mean it's ai you can you can tell it's ai

and then people start arguing and so okay how can you tell it so how can you prove it he said the fisherman is brushing the shark's teeth with a toothbrush come on a shark isn't going to allow you to do that it's a bit what if you've helped the shark maybe the shark would have you not seen jaws footy future is under influence relief no better routine if you're doing around the what what there's a video doing arounds a fitness influencer ashton hall's five hour morning routine i don't know who

he is but he does spend five hours doing a morning routine apparently according to this including a skincare regime that allow it involves a banana banana peel facial plus a facial baths what a plonker i don't know why that's a bit rude uh i'd video mine but i don't think anyone wants to see me haul my hairy backside into the shower 20 minutes before i need to catch a train to work fair enough um i bet it's not what he does every day though you know it's probably a weekly thing

where he's like a little tampering not tampering pampering pampering pampering pampering pampering pampering pampering pampering pampering fab 40 for glam man and daughter duo a miss hits a stunning mother and daughter made history by reaching the miss england finals 40 years apart really um which one's which one's the mother um she looks very much like her mother she looks yeah blimey it does look very similar and she's 20 she won miss england i don't think i look that much difference in age one's taller than the other oh that's good that's

nice and i raise a roast to mom no um i reckon in the uk was i reckon the uk will score quite a few points at this year's eurovision because they're attractive that's basically what they're saying here because they're free attractive women see um oh no saying that they've got good voices yeah okay no i'm sure it is but that's not what they're really saying i can read between the lines uh retros modern classics digital reruns are robbing me citizen smith stars paid peanuts for hits right so robert lindsey says

he's missing out on big money thanks to digital tv many of his of his hit shows include my family and citizen smith are repeated regularly because they're still so popular yet because most of the time it's on niche channels he doesn't get much cash in return but he would if he would if they were on bbc one or itv1 robert told me the contracts i signed for a lot of shows were done before satellite channels existed so when bbc and itv invented all these smaller channels it changed everything they air

repeats of shows on these weird channels and i don't earn much from it he said i get repeat fees for an entire series of citizen smith for 46 pence 46 pence wow um robert is hope robert is hoping some of 46 pence robert is hoping some of the back catalog will be aired on a major channel more often he added i wish we could repeat it somewhere that i can get some money robert i keep saying his name how many times you gotta say robert so one two three four so

they said his name four times and just this tiny little article one two my family is still very popular but there hasn't been any talk about bringing it back the kids are about 60 now oh dude they're not fiery fiery first date a driver's 12 000 pound ranger over bursting the flames as he was driving the woman home after their first date um scott hemming was just a half mile into the drive back when the eight-year-old two liter diesel blew up basically he can now see the funny side as the

drama was also scary yeah scott's date was still keen to see him again and he said pals had joked about their seriously hot meeting it's been going really well we've had a lovely evening we'd had a lovely evening all of a sudden the car went to maximum revs and it revved and revved and revved and then it caught fire and yes it's a weird thing to happen isn't it i can't imagine no i'm just talking about a date going well i can't imagine it i can't imagine never having been on

a date where it goes really well and the other bit is yeah but it never happened to me okay brace yourself for a lot more bella may who is finally emerging from her bedroom um i don't know who she is um kids my country comes first oh shut up uh jack's back on catwalk flying a flag the union jack is back in fashion yeah it was quite fashionable in late 70s as well with tight very tight jeans and bother boots and very very very short hair yeah on scooters very very

popular so here we go let's have a look what have we got here are they just showing different versions of the of the union jack the thing is on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah it's easy enough to sort of yeah but i think in real life it's probably not necessarily in this country it might not always be the safest thing to do to walk around with a big union jack on your t-shirt or on your i know some people say i should be able to do i want yeah but

then there's the fantasy in a reality oh katie price will chat with fans at three pound a head skint friday bash with free sausage rolls when is it now do i get on the three pound head hard up clubbers down cut price boozers and sink their teeth into the greg streets nightclub boss says get ready for an unforgettable unfortunate not unforgettable join the one and only katie price for an exclusive meet and greet it's your chance to hang out with the queen herself snap some epic pictures and get up close

and it doesn't say where i've got nothing nothing to say about that other than i want to go and see her i used to really fancy katie price when she was a model like you know going back a long time 20 odd years ago it's just a face i just saw about her face she just had a look everyone's got a look haven't they but she's just yeah i really i considered giving her a chance at love with me but in the end um i didn't oh my little plea for

toys a toy collector with almost 500 my little pony tall dolls urged parents not to bin their kids play things jim smith loved my little ponies and other toys growing up but they were gradually given away or donated after becoming a mum she reminiscing did it about her childhood toys and realized they wanted to she wanted to reclaim all of her favorites her searches started on ebay and progressed to antique shops toy fairs until now she has nearly 500 my little pony toys including from as far as macomb wherever that

is wishing her childhood toys were saved jim has kept her daughter's favorites and wants to encourage other parents to do the same jim says people ask this is i'll do it in her voice people asked if i'm going to keep them forever or sell them but i can't bring myself to think about selling any because i love them all i'll tell you something i know shouldn't not all about judging i don't want to be judging anyone but she's seriously beautiful this she's got a lovely face amazing really um i don't

know which pony that is but it's one of my little ponies so pretty oh now she's that oh wait a minute do you ever look at a computer screen and think oh it's a weird place for a mole and you realize it's just a mark on the computer screen and then other times you look at someone and think oh that's stupid there's a big mark on the computer screen and they realize it's a mole dolly to hit the road country music legend dolly parton is gearing up for a new tour

wow and get stuck in and do a brexit okay what we're doing here name the game for jude um dexter time telly fans start to get excited as filming for dexter resurrection has begun dexter resurrection has already already been released by vinnie's now getting a little bit impatient so i'm gonna end this recording there's something about bears brain barks what's this huskies are britain's brainiest dogs it's nice uh can't see anything i want to read anything here same i wonder i wonder i why why why why wonder why why why

why why is there a holoscope on this thing because i can't seem to find it i'm going through the sport and no boxing of course no blimmin boxing yeah there's boxing on every single week around the world but no loads of big fights oh come on let's have a look where is uh horoscope give me a horoscope your full day seven page tv guide nope oh nope nope nope nope nope nope nope oh got it with russell grant you are feeling more sociable than normal this is me virgo august 24

to september 23 you september 23 september 23rd blimey i've never said that it's september 23 you are feeling more sociable than normal and could see positive developments in your career this is an excellent time to focus on advancing your position or gaining recognition for your efforts efforts what career what career man um that i do believe is all of everything completed two newspapers read and i don't know how long i've been talking for two hours and 25 minutes wow i would probably continue for a little bit longer but it's ten

to nine and then he started barking and once he starts barking i start getting angry now it just gets a little bit frustrating just means lots of editing you know so thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy be gentle with yourself because you do deserve to feel safe lots of love bye is it vinnie or is it vinnie