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Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name's Jason Newland. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. I'm here with little Vinnie.
He's laying by my side and I'm sitting on my sofa. It's basically a reclining sofa but there's two parts that recline. I'm in one part that reclines and he's next to me.
So I'll give you, I mean this is going to be Monday's Boring Objects. But I'll give you a little bit of an update on Uncle Sausages, my neighbour. Just to let you know, I'm not going to talk about it for any length of time but I'll just give you a basic update.
So I'm still visiting him in hospital. He is now awaiting to find out if he's able to come home with some kind of care plan. Or whether he needs to go into a nursing home.
So he's going to just, you know, we're going to see. I'm going to start clearing up his flat, tidying up and cleaning it, making it a bit more ready if he does get the opportunity to return. And yeah, that's it really.
I went there today, spoke to the palliative nurse or palliative care nurse. Spoke to the, oh what do they call them? Therapist. Oh, not universal, not unisex.
Not umbilical, I'm trying to think what their name is. But basically what they do is they check him, see what he's capable of physically and to get a lay of the land really I suppose. So hopefully he's been, had those meetings today.
I spoke to them this morning but they were going to come back and see him later on in the day. And I left just before one o'clock. So I'll give him a call tomorrow, find out how he's getting on.
It's not always easy to actually hear what he's saying because he, he wants to be private. So when he's talking to me about I guess serious things, he whispers and I can't hear him. Even in the hospital I have to get really close to him because he talks so, so quietly.
So yeah, just, just see, just wait and see. Tomorrow, I will stop yawning in a minute, don't worry. Tomorrow I'll do a little bit on his flat.
Just, I want to organize some of his stuff. He's got lots of diaries from years ago so I'm going to put them into one drawer. Important stuff, put all his letters into another place, you know.
Because there's things like that all around the place and I might have to get rid of his chair and the settee. He needs a new chair, he needs a new bed. He hasn't slept in his bed for years I don't think because it's, I think it's broken.
But he's been sleeping in his chair which is also really, really just, it needs to be removed. He also needs a fridge because he hasn't got a fridge. So there's a few little bits I need to try and organize for him.
But I'll do it with him, I'm not just going to do it, you know, myself. I'm going to just confirm that that's what he wants as I go along. So I need to try and find him a fridge freezer, a cheap one to put in his kitchen.
And then once I've kind of tidied up, I'll then look at maybe trying to find him a chair, some kind of, yeah just some kind of chair that will be comfortable for him. Hmm, it's going to be a bit weird though because I don't know what he's going to find comfortable. Because not all chairs, it's nice to sit in the chair isn't it first before buying it or you know.
And it won't be a new chair, it'll either be a new chair which is cheap, like from Amazon or something. But then the problem with that is getting it into the flat. Although the one he's got now, I'm not sure how he got it in because it's quite a big thing.
So I'm probably, what I'll do is perhaps measure that chair and try and get one the same kind of size, perhaps from second hand shop or something. And it's, it's not going to, I mean it's, it's weird to say this but it's not going to be needed for long. It's just weird to say that out loud but I'll ask him what he wants to do.
He might want to buy a brand new chair and I would, you know. What I'm thinking of doing is, if he does come out, moving my TV into his flat so he has a big TV to watch. Because he loves watching sport and I'll get all the sports packages that he wants, that he needs.
So that he can pretty much watch whatever he wants and he can still have his other TV there as well which is quite small. So he can watch, a bit like Grandad from Only Fools and Horses, he'll have more than one TV at the same time. So that might be something that he'd like.
But I'm thinking of doing that, just moving my TV temporarily into his flat. So he can watch the big TV. Get him a new chair or a second hand chair.
Get him a new bed. Outside of that, it also depends what kind of bed he's going to need. Because at some point they're going to need to have equipment in there, hoists and he might have to have a special bed.
So it really, I don't know at this point. It's a guessing game at this point really. But if he does come home, rather than into a care home, then I'm going to do everything I can to make it as comfortable and enjoyable I suppose as possible.
So that he can have the best time. If that makes any sense, I don't know. It kind of makes sense when I say it out loud but at the same time it also seems like a ridiculous thing to say.
Just considering the circumstances I mean. But anyway, I'll do whatever I can to help. He did buy me, he bought me a sausage roll and a drink today.
We went into Costas and he brought his card down with him and he sort of treated me. And he really felt good about it, he seemed to really be happy about that. And he bought me some chocolates, a couple of crunchy bars in WH Smith.
And he got himself a couple of chocolate bars. And he seemed in really good spirits today. Really quite, more energetic.
And another thing is, we, I said to him, well if you want to come home, then we've got to stop taking the lift. We have to start using the stairs now. Because you need to prove to yourself as well as the people here really.
But you definitely need to prove to yourself that you can do the stairs. So we did walk up and down the stairs. It's only two little sets of stairs.
I mean, there's probably, there's more stairs here than there is in each little set. So there's probably one and a half, the amount of stairs, steps. Yeah, I'd say maybe 50% more steps than here.
So it's not a lot, there's not a lot of steps here either. And he was cool and he did it fine. He's a little bit, I think he's a bit unsteady on his feet anyway, just generally with age.
He's a little bit, he's a little bit more careful than he used to be. But at the same time, I think because he's been off his feet pretty much nearly solidly for over two weeks. He's, you know, he hasn't had that circulation, that blood circulation in his legs that we all kind of get used to, I suppose, when we're walking around a bit.
And he's, and plus he's on medication now. So, yeah, it's just okay. I don't know how that's going to affect him.
But it was weird, the weird thing about it, he was pulling me out the way of people that were walking through. So he was in a bit of a bossy mood today. It was funny.
So yeah, that was quite good. I just figured though, if you want to come home, you're going to have to deal with the stairs. So we might as well do the stairs now.
So when I see him next time I see him, we'll do the stairs again, if he's able to, I mean. I'm not forcing him, you can't force him to do anything. He only does what he wants to do.
But it just made sense really, to test it out for him. And I was there with him anyway, so he wasn't going to fall. And there's a banister all the way around.
So yeah. He had something for dinner today that was awful. It was really bad.
It was just mush with, it was supposed to be chicken and potatoes with gravy. And all you could see, this is white stuff with gravy. And he'd had a hot sausage roll about an hour earlier.
And he phoned me up later on and said, I'm so thankful we had that sausage roll. Because that dinner was awful. And even the lady that delivered the meal, she brought the tray in, put it on to the bedside table thing.
And she said to Uncle Sausages, she said, right, I don't know what you're going to think about this. Really, and she pulled the lid off, because it had a metal lid thing, pulled that off. The kind of things you see in expensive restaurants.
You pull it off, and she was almost laughing at the plate, at the contents. Because she knew it was just wrong. And she said, well, I'm allowed to be honest.
Like, wow. It was, yeah, it really wasn't good. I mean, I don't know what it tastes like, because I didn't eat it.
It might have been fine. But if you, yeah, it didn't look great. But then, really, he's eating better than I am.
He's getting, he's eating four times a day. And they do have the calorie intake and the vitamins. They have it all very well balanced meals.
I don't know what they taste like. It's been a long time since I had hospital food. I was 12 the last time.
But, yeah, it, I'll probably end up putting weight on. If I was eating four times a day cooked food, well, I suppose breakfast is like cereal. But other than that, if it's cooked, and I was just sitting around, or in bed, I'd probably put weight on.
Yeah, probably. Which in some situations is possibly needed. With some people, perhaps putting a bit of weight on is a good thing.
But it wouldn't be a good thing for me. I don't need extra weight. Of all the things I need, that's not at the top of the list.
Right now. And what else? Yeah, so that's it really. I'm just waiting to see what happens.
To find out what's happening with him. So at the moment, Uncle Sausages is still in hospital. He's... I realise, this is going to sound weird.
Well, most things I say probably sound weird, but... I kind of realise what it is about him that kind of grabs me a little bit. Emotionally. And I noticed this before, long before he was unwell.
But I kind of ignored it. But what it is, he's got the same smile as my Nan. His eyes have the same smiley eyes as my Nan had.
It's a weird thing. I know they say smiling Irish eyes, smiling and that, but technically he's Scottish. But he's got the same kind of eyes as my Nan.
It's weird, just as my Nan had. So maybe that's what it is. I kind of just... Almost it looks at me the way my Nan used to look at me.
You know, that look where it's all like, please leave me alone. Who are you? How did you get into my house? You know, that look. Stop eating all my biscuits.
Right, so that's an update on there. I did a Q&A Friday. I don't know if you realise, if you've listened to it or not.
It was four and a half hours long. The longest... Yeah, the longest recording I've ever done, I think. As in, it was the whole episode was I think four hours and 19 minutes.
Nothing else added, just me doing the Q&A Friday. It's just a long recording, very much so. This will not be that.
This will be a standard length recording. Oh, I think my... I just did some laundry. Did some laundry... No, yesterday I did some laundry on my T-shirts and my shirts.
Because I just kind of ran out. Because I didn't go in on Sunday. So I did them on Sunday, so I did my laundry.
And I've done my tracksuit bottoms, because I've got seven pairs. And underwear. I've done that now, so... It's... From the sounds of it, it's done.
But it's weird, because I'm sure I only put it on about an hour ago. It normally takes longer than an hour to finish. Oh, but maybe not.
Maybe it was longer. Yeah. Because I think it's eight o'clock now.
And I put it on about a quarter past six. So I guess that would make sense. It's finished now.
So I'll hang them up... When I've done this. And that'll pretty much be all the laundry done now. And I told Uncle Sausages that I was going to... Do... Get some... Like start washing some of his stuff.
Because he's got some clothes that have been in the closet for... I don't know how long. So what I'll do is... I'll sort through it and maybe wash it. Just so it's there.
So when he comes back he can just choose... To wear what he wants and it'll all be clean. So that's another thing I'll do. I'll probably do that last though.
I'll leave that to the last thing to do. Yeah. Yeah.
He's got a brand new kitchen. No, no, he's got a brand new bathroom. It hasn't been seen yet.
And it's all part of it because they were in the middle of doing it. I think they just finished the... The first week. Yeah, the first week of doing the bathroom.
Because they started on Tuesday. And the Friday's when he went into hospital. And then they came back the next week.
Doing stuff. So they finished it last week. He didn't get to see... The finished result.
And he had a brand new kitchen done. About two months ago. Three months ago.
And he's got new windows coming as well. In the next few months. So it's... Hmm.
Need to get rid of that wallpaper. I'm not going to but it's... The wallpaper's... I think the wallpaper was there before he moved in. Because I think back in them days they didn't... Because when I moved in here.
Everything was bare. You know there was nothing in the walls. It was just white walls.
No carpet. No furniture. Which I think is standard anyway but... I think when he moved in.
There was wallpaper already there. Just left the wallpaper as it was. And he's lived there for 30 years.
I'm just thinking imagine if that's me. In... You know 25 years and... I've got a neighbour. Coming into my flat.
Looking through my stuff. I mean I'm not looking through his stuff but... I had to look for something because he asked me to look for something. But I'm only in there because he asked me.
I don't... Go into people's homes without them actually... Wanting me to do it. And I told him. Anytime I go in there I tell him.
And why. And... He wanted me to look for some money because he had... 40 pound... In cash he wanted me to get for him. And it was in a... I don't know where it was.
I did find it in the end. But... Oh I can hear the washing machine. It's doing the old... Tumble bit.
You know the... Like that. Is that the draining? Draining the water out? Something like that. Oh I don't know.
Summit. Thimula. Raining today it was.
Raining. Proper raining. So I got a taxi.
There. Because it was raining. I just didn't want to get wet.
But. I got. Two buses back.
So I got the buses back. Because I thought nah this is just getting. This is weird okay.
This is. I just interrupted myself then. The cost of a taxi.
To the hospital. From where I live. And back again you know.
So each journey. Either there. Or the journey back.
Is around £17. At the weekend it was more. So Saturday.
£17.60. And the other person wanted £18.40 or something. So it varies on a Saturday. But I've just been giving them £20.
With a tip £20. And I've done that. With every single taxi driver.
Up to today. But today's taxi driver didn't want it. He wouldn't take it.
Because I was paying on a card. And he said no. It's £17.
And he wouldn't take a tip. He wasn't. He was like a really friendly taxi driver.
But he said he didn't want a tip. He didn't. It's like wow okay.
That was surprising. Because I've just automatically just said. Just take £20.
Because. Just seems the right thing to do. I'm not even going to work out how much.
Oh Christine. Just a big thank you to Christine. For your PayPal gift.
Thank you. Thank you very much. I did send a message to you.
Thank you. Oh. Oh.
You know as we were getting a taxi. Towards the hospital. Went round the corner from where I live.
And the taxi slowed down. And this pigeon was in the middle of the road. Just standing there looking at us.
Had a right attitude. Honestly. Just like walked very slowly to the kerb.
Nothing wrong with it. It was just. Really like.
Drive around me. Who do you think you are? I was here first. This is my manor.
Real real attitude on it. This pigeon. I tell you.
He's like the king of the pigeons or something. Yeah. Right.
I should do Monday's Boring Objects. I've only been talking for half an hour. I should get on with it really shouldn't I? Yeah.
What have I not talked about though? Because I've done so many of these. Is there a subject that I've not talked about. That maybe I could.
Talk about. I'm going to talk about karate. I know I've talked about martial arts.
And different things I've done. But I want to talk about karate. Specifically.
The karate I did when I was at school. And how I ended up doing it. And.
Because I didn't do it for long. Only a few years. Or two and a half years or something.
But yeah I'll go through that. I've never really. Well I probably have.
But I don't recall. Going in depth into. The karate situation.
But saying that I probably have. But I'll do it again anyway. It'll be different this time.
I'll be better. I will it'll be different this time. It'll work out okay.
I've learned from my mistakes. So. I don't.
Actually remember. Which particular year it was. But I'm guessing I was probably 13.
Yeah 13 would be probably the age. Where. I. Because I was in the sea cadets.
I was from 11. To for about it's about 12 and a half. In fact before I was 11.
And then. I left there because I didn't like it. I started doing karate.
So basically what happened is. I was at school. With my friend Stefan.
And he was just saying. Oh I'm going to go in tonight. I'm going to go and see the karate.
Because his brother. Has started doing karate and loved it. So.
And. Because his brother was so excited. I think it was Paul his name was.
Because his brother was so excited. Enthusiastic and that. Stefan became a little bit interested.
Because it was his younger brother. That was doing it. Like a year younger pretty much.
So. So. He said I'm going to go.
Because it was in a different high school. To the one that we were going to. There was two high schools in that town.
There was nothing at our high school. No kind of sports or anything. I don't think.
Unless of course there was. I don't think there was. There might have been.
No I think I might have had judo there. I kind of wish I'd done judo as well. But hey.
So. And it was on different nights of the week. Because karate was a Tuesday Thursday.
And I think they had judo on Monday and Wednesday. So I said to Stefan. Oi Stefan.
Can I come along? So all he was going to do. Is go there and just watch the evening. So.
His brother was already there. We rolled up. Unless we went.
I might have got a lift. I don't even know. I might have got a lift with him.
With his family. And. Got dropped off there.
Or I might have walked up there with him and his brother. I really am not sure. Or I might have just rolled up on my own.
And him and his brother was already there. It's a little bit. But he did say it's okay for me to come along.
I know technically I could do what I wanted. You know it just seems a nice thing to do. Just to say.
You don't mind if I hang along. Because. I didn't.
The thing is right. I wanted to do karate. When I was a young kid.
When I was younger. When I was like. I asked my dad and he said no.
Basically. Eleven. He said no.
There was no ifs or buts. Like no. I don't know why.
Because he did judo when he was at school. So I don't know why he didn't want me to do martial arts. Anyway.
At thirteen. I just did it. I didn't ask him.
I just went along. And. He.
So my friend Stefan was there. We. I still kind of remember it.
We sat. On these long. Do you know those long benches.
They have in gym. Gymnasiums. The long seats.
Like wooden. And maybe people sit on them when they're watching. Other people.
Performing or whatever. You know doing football or whatever. I don't know.
And stuff. I kind of. Can.
I know what I'm. Imagining in my head. I just don't know what the correct term is for them.
Just. Benches probably. Probably they call them benches.
And they were all stacked up. On the. As you go into the door.
Of the. Of the. Gym.
The big gym in the school. As you go into the doorway. On the left hand side.
Was all the benches. And the rest of the room. Big old room.
Was used for the karate. So. Me and Stefan was sitting.
On this. On the benches. Watching.
But I didn't even know whose brother was. I don't think I'd ever met him before. In high school.
Even though I'd been to school with Stefan. Right from junior school. So I'd spent two years at junior school.
And then. Well. Was it.
What year would it be. 2000. No not 2000.
Well. 1980. No.
19. 79. So from 1979.
To 1986. I was at school with Stefan. So I knew him that whole time.
And. I would say I was pretty good friends. We never hung out outside of school.
But we always got on really well. In school. It's just one of those.
You know things. So. Anyway I went along with him.
He was one of the toughest kids in the school. In the year. Well in fact he probably.
I was best friends. I was good friends with. Two of the toughest kids.
Carl and Stefan. They just happened to be. I wasn't friends with them for that reason.
They just. One I was. One I was friends with because he was also in the.
I guess they used to call it the dunces class. Which was wrong. They shouldn't have done that but.
We were taken out. Anyone that was disruptive. Or didn't.
Do what they were supposed to do. Or showed no. Sign of intelligence.
Probably in my case. Was taken out of the normal classes. And put into this special room.
With toys and stuff. And we could just do whatever we wanted. For a few hours.
And we did do whatever we wanted. I mean in. It's pretty fair to say that we were going to do.
Whatever we wanted anyway. But we got free reign to do that. And there was a pretty about.
Out of the whole year. Yeah because I did it by year. Didn't have anyone in other years in there.
I don't think so. There's probably. There might have been other people from other years.
But we was this is in the first year. I think it only happened in the first year. So we had.
Probably about. Trying to remember the people. Me.
Her. Eight. At least eight people that I could remember.
There may have been. So there's obviously there's me. There is.
A pretty bit eight. Maybe more of us. Three girls and.
Five boys. One two. I don't know maybe four boys.
So there's about eight. Maybe a little bit more. And.
So I got to know these people. Separately from. The rest of the year.
And because they were them. Well I say they but they kind of were the most. The biggest troublemakers.
Technically they're all OK actually. But they because they didn't go along with what they were supposed to go along with. I suppose there were classes to rough kids.
And. But they weren't really. They were tough but they were just.
Just kids. Just like me. And so I was in that group.
So I got to know that I kind of became part of that group. It's the only group I really became part of. But that was just for the first year.
And after that. We all kind of. Separated.
But still. You know. Knew each other.
And I knew them. Some of them I'd known from junior school anyway. Anyway.
And. What was my point mentioning that. Oh yeah.
Just. There was a point to it. I can't remember.
So I went to. Anyway. Stefan.
I went to this. To the karate club. It was either Tuesday.
Or a Thursday. Evening. And I think it was seven.
Till nine. I think. Or it might have been seven thirty till nine.
I don't recall if it was summer or winter. Or spring. Or autumn.
I don't know. It wouldn't have been summer. Because they closed during the summer.
When the school was closed. No karate. Which meant.
We would train. In a park. We'd all meet up and train in a park and stuff.
And. Also half term. It was always nice to have a break.
You know. Have a bit of a break from it all. Yeah.
So. I was there. What was weird.
Is. First of all. I was impressed.
I mean. I suppose it's obvious. Because I. I went back.
But. I was really impressed with what I saw. But I also found it funny.
Because. There was a really tough kid there. Who.
Was the toughest kid in the year below us. But he was known for. Everyone was kind of.
He. It was. It was like a little Mike Tyson.
That's before Mike Tyson was even famous. You know. So.
He was. He was doing that. It was basically a little bit of a terror.
And. So. This would be in probably the third year of school.
So I'd known him. For. A couple of years.
Or whatever. He was there. And he looked silly.
Because he was just starting out. So he didn't know what he was doing. So I was so used to him walking around.
Flexing his muscles. And. Trying to.
Be a. A bully boy. And I saw him. And.
He couldn't even punch properly. In karate. I knew he could punch properly.
Because I'd seen him. But. He was more of a boxer.
But the fact that he was doing that. I just. It was quite amusing.
And there's no reason why he would be any good. Because he was just starting. And no one's any good when they just start.
Unless they've done it before. But it was. Quite.
I don't know. Just. I found it.
It tickled me a little bit. I didn't tell him. Because.
Because I'm not silly. Anyway. He didn't stick at it.
But he went along. He was best friends with. Stefan's brother.
Who was also one of the tough kids. The thing is. With Stefan and his brother.
They were tough. But they didn't. Act tough.
They were almost like adults. Around kids. You know.
They just didn't take any rubbish. And they. They were very physically mature.
They were literally like physically adults. Before most of the other kids were. And they were both big lads.
And they had. Their mentality was also quite adult as well. So they weren't really.
Like kids. He was never. Stefan was never like a kid really.
He was also really. Always had his head on his shoulders. Always very mature.
We used to have a good old laugh. But at the same time. He was.
You know. Very intelligent. As his brother was as well.
They sort of. They knew what they wanted to do. And.
Yeah. I remember one. Once.
I was in the school yard. And. The year below.
So not. Not the year below me. But the year below.
Him. So the two years below. This kid who was the toughest kid in that year.
And also one of the toughest kids in the school. They gave another big one. Grew bigger than everyone else in that.
He jumped on me. And pinned me to the ground. To the ground.
Now this is where me. And Stefan's brother. And Stefan.
We were doing karate. At this point Stefan had left. So I got to know his brother really well.
From the karate. So this lad. Jumped on me.
And pinned my arms down. And like. He.
I probably didn't weigh more than eight stone. At the time. If that.
He probably weighed about. Twelve thirteen stone. Probably.
He was a big. Big strong lad. Yeah.
At least twelve stone. At least four stone heavier than me. And I didn't know what to do.
I mean. I was in shock. Because I didn't know who was going to do it.
No one had ever done that to me before. I don't think. Not recently anyway.
And. I'm like oh. And then out of the corner of my eye.
Well actually I was going to say. I heard out of the corner of my eye. You can't hear.
Out of your eye can you. Not even the corner. This voice.
And it was Stefan's brother. The person I was at karate with. He just shouted out.
Get off him. Now. And he did.
He just stood up. Sorry. He just stood up to.
And ran off. And that was the toughest kid. In the whole of his year.
But as soon as. Paul said. Get off him.
He did. It was weird. It's like.
And both of them were younger than me. But I was. I was like a little kid.
I was so. Underdeveloped. In a sense.
When I left school. At fifteen. I was.
Eight and a half stone. I don't know what that is in pounds. Or kilos.
But. I do know what it is roughly in kilos. It's about fifty kilos.
Ish. Sixteen stone is around. A hundred kilos.
Ish. So. I was around like.
I don't know. Forty eight kilos. Maybe.
Fifty kilos. Which. Bearing in mind.
Technically I was an adult. And I was probably the same weight. When I was.
Sixteen. Seventeen. I might go.
I think I went up to about nine stone. When I was about eighteen. Like you know.
So I was very light. Like really. Really super slim.
But naturally. Didn't matter what. Whatever I ate.
Didn't make a difference. I just. Was slim.
You know it's just the way it was. And. I looked nothing like my dad.
Physically. Because my dad's. Strong.
Broad. Big bloke. Always was.
But then in older age. Once I hit thirty. I kind of almost grew into my father.
And now I. Got the same shape body as him. It's weird isn't it. I don't quite show how.
It's like it was always there. It just didn't. It's like the bones were there.
But there was no. There was no fat. I didn't have any fat on me at all.
When I was in my twenties. Which is probably a good thing. You know my.
BMI was. Probably like minus. Zero fat.
And then. Thirty. Yeah well that's a. Whole new ball game.
Yeah. Anyway. So that was weird.
So I went to. So I went there. The very first night of karate.
I fell in love with the place. I fell in love with. Everything about it.
Bearing in mind. I've loved martial arts. Since I was.
A little kid. From the age of seven. Having that picture.
Bruce Lee on my wall. In my little room. My very first room I ever had of my own.
And a picture of Bruce Lee. From Enter the Dragon. From that.
You know from that moment on. I had to discover who he was. And.
I. I loved martial arts. And Kung Fu the TV show was on. I mean that was probably the closest thing I really got to see martial arts at that time.
And there was very little Kung Fu in it. But when it when it was in it. It was.
The most exciting thing in the world. I loved it. Absolutely loved it.
So I kind of just. You know this this is like I'm home. I'm home baby.
But at the same time I was. Nervous. Because it's new.
But I was less nervous because. I was with Stefan. And he was joining with me.
So I was kind of OK with that because I wasn't on my own. So we both went back. The next evening.
So if it was if it was a Tuesday that we went. Then we both went back on a Thursday night. If it was a Thursday night that we went to watch that we both went back on the following Tuesday night.
And we just had some tracksuit bottoms and a T-shirt. Because I don't give you. You don't get a gi straight away.
You kind of see how you get on. And if you do like it then. You pay.
We paid. Paul was his name. The sensei.
At the teacher. He. Got the gi's.
And it cost like 20 quid or 15 quid or 12 quid. I don't know how much it was back then. And there'd be a white belt.
And a gi. Which was a white a white like white trousers and a white top. Made of like flannel kind of material.
I think. It might not be flannel but it was white. And I do have actually.
I do. Have a picture of myself. In my gi my karate costume.
From when I was 14. It's in a. A photograph album. That my.
My dad and stepmom put together. A few years back. Just before.
Just yeah. About 2022. And there's a picture of me.
I might have even had my nun chucks on me. Possibly. Wow.
So. It's strange. There's also a picture of me in my sea cadet costume as well.
So that's the kind of. I think my dad was. He liked me being in the sea cadets.
I don't think he was interested in me being in karate. It didn't really suit. What he wanted for me.
I don't. I don't quite know why actually. Even as an adult.
When I told him I started doing. Kung fu or. Boxing or.
What did I. What did I do. I can't even remember what I've done. What did I do.
Another thing. I do that. It's got out of my head now.
But I've done a few different martial arts and stuff. And every time I told him. He's like.
What are you doing that for. Can't you find something else. A bit less violent.
Like it's not violent. It is. It's just fun.
Kicking and punching. Is it. It's a sport.
It's just controlled. And. Although I can't do it.
I can't do it anymore. I can't do the kicking. Taekwondo.
That's what I was trying to think of. That's the last thing I did. Although I did try and give Jiu Jitsu.
A go. I just don't have the. The bending capacity.
To do that anymore. It's. Yeah.
It's just not physically. Up my road anymore. Unfortunately.
But. I still know a few little moves. That I can do if needed.
So. I think if anything I'd like to. If I was going to go back to something.
Boxing. The problem is. Because of my age.
It's not a problem for me. Because I know I can. I can't do all.
Like the super. Exercisey bit. Cardiovascular.
I can do some of it. But you know. That's something I kind of.
Have to be careful with. Just take it easy. Take it slowly.
But punching a bag. Or. Punching someone with the.
Holding the mitts up. And punching the pads. And stuff.
Is something that would be fun. But unfortunately. When I went to the.
The amateur boxing club. In about 2009. When I was at university.
I went along to the local ABA. Which is the amateur boxing association. They let me go.
I was. Pretty much the oldest person there. I was.
Pretty much one of the only. Adults there. So that wasn't.
I didn't like that actually. I wanted to be around. I'm not.
Not bothered that there was. Kids there but. I'd rather have adults around me.
Just because. I just. I just don't look so silly.
You know. Because what. If you've got adults.
Doing martial arts. You don't have people watching. You don't have families watching.
But because there's so many kids there. A lot of their parents were. Sitting in the sidelines watching.
And I'm sure they were laughing at me. If they weren't they should have been. Because.
I'd have a t-shirt on. And within about. Five minutes.
It'd be soaked through. I lost a bit of weight doing it. And I did put on some muscle in that.
I just absolutely soaked. And. But I enjoyed it.
But I kept injuring myself. They wouldn't let me spar. That's the thing that kind of annoyed me.
A little bit. Like I understand. Of course I'm not going to spar a little kid.
But. A lot of those kids. Especially some of them.
As big as I was. Or tall wise anyway. They would have just boxed my head off.
I wouldn't have stood a chance. Because they would have just. Outboxed me.
I wouldn't be able to catch them. But even though. Because I was too old.
I wasn't allowed. Legally. For them to be sparring.
And I'd have been okay just to stand there. And. Not do anything.
Just move around the ring. And block the punches if I could. And not throw any punches.
Just to be a target almost. That would have been fun for me. But they didn't even do that.
I mean that's quite a good opportunity isn't it. To have. Have someone running.
Jumping around. Because there was some lads there. That were much bigger than me.
Like 6'6", 6'2", 6'3". I'm 5'8". So.
You know. Technically. And they had some young.
Sort of. Late teens. That were.
You know. Really good. Well adults really.
So I could have. Happily just got in the ring with them. And danced around a little bit.
And tried to avoid them punching me. I'm not saying I wanted to be a punch bag. But.
It would have been. A bit of fun. I don't know.
Just stuff. But they wouldn't. Wouldn't let me.
And that's really. I mean. I think if anyone goes to boxing.
Anyone starts boxing. I think. They're probably telling fibs.
If they say that they don't care. Whether or not they get to spar. I think most people that go to boxing.
Want to spar. It's kind of the point of the whole thing. Is.
Being able to put it into action. In a safe environment. And I didn't get a chance.
Mind you. I did do boxing when I was at school for. I think I went once or twice.
And. They didn't have any rules. There was like.
A few sit ups. A few press ups. Go on the punch bag.
And then start sparring with each other. And I ended up with this. Bearing in mind.
I was like. Quite little. I ended up with someone that was probably.
A good six. Six foot. Six two.
And twice my. Twice my height. Twice my weight rather.
And they just kept punching me in the head. Like. I couldn't.
Like. Can you stop punching me please. Which of course you can't really say.
When it comes down to boxing. Please stop that. Can you just stop giving me a chance.
Let me punch you. Because you wouldn't. So it kind of put me off a little bit.
Why did you stop doing boxing. Because they kept punching me. Yeah.
Pretty much. So I can't remember the first time. I went to karate.
As in the first lesson. But I know that I went. Every single Tuesday and Thursday.
I had a. Paper round. I think. I had an early morning paper round at this point.
So that's what paid for. The karate. And.
A few things. A few standout moments. Of going to that karate club.
During those years. The first thing is. Every single grading.
I attended. I got a first class pass. That isn't the highest.
You can skip a grade. That's what Stefan's brother. Because we both had our first.
Yeah. We both had our first grading at the same time. Because he had literally just started.
I think the week before I did. And. He skipped right away through to the next belt.
Because he was so good. Straight away. But I did get a first class pass.
So that was okay. The weird thing about it though. Because I did I think.
Two possibly three. Contests. Competitions.
And I didn't win. I didn't win any awards or any prizes. But I did win a couple of fights.
The. Like Stefan's brother. He was.
Bearing in mind he was. Yeah. He was 14.
So he was younger than me. So 13 let's say. 13 years old.
They put him in with another 13 year old. The size difference was ridiculous. And.
The. The other kid. Just started crying.
And it was a lot of. Cofor. Before.
Cofor. Whatever about it. Parents saying what have you put my kid in with an adult for.
And all this stuff. And I said he's not an adult. It's 13.
He can't be 13. He's bigger than me. And.
There was all that. But he was 13. I think it's a little.
They should have weight categories. They were just doing it by age. But with adults they do it by weight.
With the kids they were just doing it by age. It just that was a little bit. Didn't really seem very fair.
To put someone. Who probably weighed. Well.
This 13 year old. He probably. It was about my size.
Because I was about the size of a 13 year old. So it was about my size. So he was a lot littler.
Than this other kid. Who was probably. At that time 12 stone.
If not more. So yeah. He won.
He won his category. But it was a lot of. A lot of gnashing of teeth.
He won a trophy. He was just naturally good. He just he took to it.
So quickly. It was yeah. Very very good.
And Stefan. He stayed for a while. And then he stopped going.
I never really. He just I don't think he didn't want to do it anymore. He'd lost interest.
Which is you know. I was still friends with him. I just.
But I liked it when he was covered. I mean because. During break times.
We would practice doing karate with each other. Going down the hallway. And a good thing about it is.
If I'd have done it with anyone else. I put about other lads coming up to me. And give me a hard time.
Because I was doing it with the toughest kid in. One of the toughest kids in the school. And the toughest kid in the year.
No one gave us a hard time. So it was quite cool. So we were like kicking each other.
And blocking and running around. And it was brilliant. And then he stopped.
He stopped going. Something about me embarrassing him or something. I don't know.
So. But you know we were still friends. It's just he didn't want to go anymore.
So I continued. Because I loved karate. It was my life.
Within a week. It was my entire life. There was.
Nothing. More important than karate. To me.
In the entire world. Everything else was just. In the background.
A bit of a blur. And. It was my new special interest.
Above everything else. My previous special interest. Was.
I was very very into. This is going to sound a bit weird. Bearing in mind I was.
Like 11. I never liked the sea cadets. I just went there.
When I was 10. Because I was there before. I wasn't even old enough to be there.
But they let me go along. Because it was only a couple of months. Before my 11th birthday.
And. I just didn't want to go home. I just wanted to go somewhere else.
So. Me and my friend went there. And we joined up and.
It was just nice to. I was never really particularly good at. Fitting in.
And. I think when you join a group. Even if you don't fit in.
You are still part of the group. So you might be. Like an oddball in the group.
Or me. They say me. I talk about myself.
I was an oddball in the sea cadets. But I was still one of them. I still wore the sea cadet uniform.
You hear that motorbike. It's in the garden. Just behind us.
Way too late. What is it nearly 9 o'clock. It's quarter past nine.
A motorbike. I never used to be this moany you know. I didn't.
So. I think that's part of the reason. Another reason I kind of.
I didn't like it but I felt. A part of something. When I was in the sea cadets.
As I did when I joined the karate club. I preferred the karate club. Membership side of it.
Because. I was around adults. As well as kids.
I respected all of the adults. Apart from one. He wasn't an adult.
He was probably 18. But he was. He was a. Bit of a div.
Really. That's a nice word for him. He used to try and bully me when we were sparring.
He'd kick me. He was a good six foot five. Like really tall.
And he was a brown belt. So he got his black belt as well. He was really good.
At what he did. He was one of the top karate people in there. But for some reason he enjoyed.
Kicking me over. On the floor and. I got a bit fed up with it.
So I just. I started hurting him. What do you mean you hurt him? I mean he was so big.
So. The good thing about it is. I could punch him in the stomach.
And accidentally miss his stomach. And he'd be on the floor. So I did that a few times.
Or I'd hurt his leg. And. He started to kind of back down a little bit with me.
He didn't. Didn't sort of take so many. Liberties as it were.
But he seemed to really enjoy just tripping me up. And kicking me over. No one else did that.
It was the only person that did it. Everyone else treated me with respect. Including the adults.
They always like. The. The instructor.
He seemed to really like me. And. It pushed me but it would never ever hurt me.
Let's face it. He could in a second have hurt me. But he didn't.
And that's. I respected that because. That's kind of what I think the other lad should have done.
Because he was an adult. Compared to me. It was 18.
So technically I suppose he was an adult. He was in sixth form college. I think.
Or maybe left. Left sixth form college. I don't know.
But he was just. Yeah. I don't think he did it with anyone else.
I don't know. Maybe he fancied me. I don't know.
Who knows. Maybe it was his way of flirting. I don't know.
I'll say a few. Quite a few. Oh I did it again.
Sorry. Um. I. A few standout moments.
Nice memories. Would be. When one of the.
Older men. I say older. It was old to me.
Probably in his 20s to be fair. Probably yeah 20. Yeah.
In his 20s. I thought he was like old. Maybe he was late 20s.
He was getting married. And he asked me. And another.
Of the young ones. Like me. To go to his wedding.
In our geese. You know karate uniforms. And stand.
As they walked out of the church. After getting married. Through.
We were standing outside. They had a cameraman. Filming.
Or yeah. Or taking pictures or whatever. As the.
The newly married couple came out. And me and another lad. Were holding swords.
Above. Basically at the entrance or the exit. Of the church.
Just high enough so they could just. Walk through of course. And.
I thought I found it funny. If I slip cut his head off. That'd be funny.
I won't go down very well. But it didn't happen. Clearly otherwise I probably wouldn't.
My whole life would have been different. And. But what how amazing.
I'd love to see that picture. I never got to see the picture. Unless I did and I'd forgotten I got to see it.
How cool is that. It got to just be a. I mean how many people. Get married and walk out to.
Two people holding swords. I mean I suppose the royal family do. But.
Yeah it was really cool. And. It was just really.
It was also cool that he asked me. And the other lad. I forget who it was.
But just like out of all of us. I got to do it. So cool.
Honestly it was brilliant. And. I think I used to go up to.
The karate contests with him. So I suppose you got to know me a little bit. What else.
I used to love the sparring. Apart from with that. You know.
The big lanky. Six foot nine. Bully boy.
I didn't enjoy that. But. Everyone else I enjoyed sparring with.
It was fun. I loved the sparring. That was kind of the whole point really.
Is to practice what you learn. Practice the blocking. And the kicking and the punching.
The sweeping and all that stuff. And. Practice every single time.
So half the night. Or half the evening was based on. Practicing drills.
Practicing not drills as in. Not that kind of drill. And you know practicing the form.
Practicing kicks. Punches stuff like that. And in the next part of the evening.
Was sparring. So we'd all stand up in a line. Facing each other.
So if there was like let's say there's 20 of us. There'd be one line. Of 10 people.
All facing each other. And then they would spar with that person. We'd have pads on our hands.
Pads on our feet. Didn't have any pads on my head. Didn't have a gum shield or anything like that.
Oh yeah pads on the groin. I probably didn't really need it. But you know I had it anyway.
And. But if you get a good old punch. It doesn't stop it.
As I found out. When I did the punch days. And.
It was so much fun. Just punching and kicking each other. It was great.
And the thing is I could hardly reach anyone's head anyway. Because everyone was taller than me. Apart from those that weren't.
And. And they generally were. A fair bit younger.
Because I started. Yeah I think you could start at. 12.
In a karate club. That was their limit. That was their oldest.
It was 12. So I remember the spar. And that was great.
Which brings me on to my next thing. Of the most. I actually.
Changed. The karate club. And I'm never going to be remembered for it.
That's the funny thing about it. But I changed. The direction of that club.
Because. My little brother. Was.
Burr. This would be. 85.
So he would have been. 7. My little brother. Was interested in doing karate.
And I kept asking. If he could come along. And Paul.
The instructor said no. Not till he's 12. Can't do it.
Won't do it. Can't do it. Won't do it.
And I said to him one night. I said well why don't we. Do.
A separate one. Like on a. A Saturday. Like a completely separate.
Thing. You can have you. You know come in on a Saturday.
And have like an extra sparring session. For the adults. But.
Have. Allow some kids to come along. Under the age of 12.
Yeah you can have a limit. Maybe no one over. No one under 5 or something.
And. Eventually I was. I'm not saying I was hassling.
Every day. I wasn't phoning them up in the middle of the night. It's me again.
Please. Come on little brother. Come on please.
Just just just the kids. Please. So.
Eventually he gave up. And he said OK. We'll try it.
So. I mean he gave up his own time. To come in.
And. I don't know if they even charged the kids. So they.
We came in on a Saturday. And. He got me.
To teach the kids. Because it was just basically. Teaching them a little bit.
Discipline to line up. How to kick. How to punch.
None of it was like. Hard stuff. It's very basic stuff.
So he got me to teach him. And. It went from there.
So that's where it started. And then they progressed to doing it on. Having like a separate group on a Tuesday and Thursday night.
At the back of the. Of the gym. So they.
They wouldn't be part of the main thing. But they'd be doing. They'd be taught by.
Me. And then when I left. Someone else.
Taught. And. So it went from that.
Doing it every Saturday morning. To then do it. Then including it in a Tuesday.
And a Thursday. Evening. And that was.
How many years ago. Is that. 40 years ago.
And. The amount of black belts. That have come out of those kids.
They still do it now. Still got little kids. Training.
Not the same. Not the same little kids. But they still got little kids training.
So. That was my idea. And it might be the greatest thing I've ever done in my life.
Which is. Kind of sad maybe. But it was my idea.
Because I wanted my little brother. To come along. And do karate.
And because I'd already taught him some karate. Which came in handy. Because this.
A little local bully started on him. He sorted the bully out. And it set him up.
For the rest of his school. Because he had confidence. And he knew that he could deal with.
You know. Situations like that. And it was.
My little brother lost interest. He went for probably two months. Three months.
I don't know how long. He got his. He got his first grading.
I know that. So he must have been there. For at least three months.
Because the gradings were every three months. So he got his yellow belt. He might have been there six months.
But then he left. He lost interest. But they kept the thing going.
Because by then. They had more kids joining. It started off.
I think I kind of got some of the neighbors kids. To come along. And it started off with maybe three.
Kids. And then it grew to five. And then there was seven.
And then there was ten. And. Ten's all you need really.
It's a good number. And then it grew. And it just continued.
From 1985. To today. So.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow evening. Tuesday evening.
Pretty much guaranteed. That someone. Will walk into that gym.
A kid. Maybe. Ten years old.
For example. Nine years old. Will walk in there.
For the first time. With their parents. Or older brother.
Or sister. Or whatever. And will.
You know. Learn to start. You know.
Kicking and punching for the first time. And by the time they leave school. They'll be a black belt.
And that's all thanks to me. I'm responsible for the success of every single black belt ever. No.
That's not what I'm saying. But it was a quite a nice. A nice memory.
Quite a nice thing that. A positive thing that I probably. Created.
Because it was. It wasn't allowed. Not allowed.
Not allowed. But in the end. He gave up.
And he said. Okay. Because I kept going on about it.
And. He clearly must. The.
The. The instructor must have liked me. Because.
He. He didn't tell me to stop hassling him. Or he might have done actually.
But I just didn't give up. I was quite insistent. Because I wanted my little brother to go.
To. I think if I'm honest. I probably didn't care about the other kids.
I was just. Focusing on my little brother. Because.
There had to be other kids as well. I kind of. Got a few other kids from the neighborhood.
To go along. Some of his friends probably. It's thinking about it.
Yeah. I think it was. And maybe some of the kids of the.
The adults that were going there. They brought them along. Just to kind of support.
That new venture. Yeah. Groovy.
So. I'm not going to remember. I won't be remembered for it.
I bet you not one person remembers me. Ever. Not even Paul.
Who was my hero. He was the instructor. He won't remember me.
I mean last time I saw him was. Probably about 1987. And he said.
When are you coming back? I said soon. Never did. Never went back.
Yeah. That's weird. When I left school.
I was working in the evenings. And. I'd lost interest.
Anyway. At that point. In everything.
I had no interest in anything. So. Karate was gone.
Everything. I was just working in a chip shop. And that's it.
That's what I did for two years. There was nothing really else going on in my life. And what else.
So. With the karate. I have nice memories.
Of. Getting together. Equipment.
So. I had. The.
So yeah. I got some gym stuff. Like you know.
Weights. And my dad had this. Big studio thing.
At the bottom of the garden. Which was his office. Because he was self employed.
So it was his office. But he also kept. His equipment.
In part of it as well. And there was a toilet down there. And I think it was just his.
His safe space probably. To be on his own. And have a bit of quiet.
Peace and quiet from all of us. But what he did. He did.
He took a bit of interest in what I was doing. Because he. He let me put my weights down there.
So I was buying. I was buying weights bit by bit. So I was buying a barbell one week.
Then I was buying the. You know the weights to put on the barbell. Then I got a curl bar.
Put some weights for the curl bar. Got some dumbbells. A little dumbbell set.
And then I got another dumbbell set. You know to sort of match it. And.
I can't think of any other things. Weights wise that I had. But I had like a. You know.
A varied weight collection. And then. I told my dad that I wanted to get a punch bag.
So what he did. Is. He.
Found me a kit bag. And he filled it with. Sawdust.
It's really heavy. Really heavy. And he attached it to the ceiling.
And then I got another punch bag. Which was already. I think it was full of.
We put just cloth in it. So I had a light bag. And a really heavy bag.
I imagine. The one full of sawdust. Was probably as heavy as me.
Nearly anyway. It was pretty sturdy stuff. And a kit bag.
If you don't know what that is. It's the kind of thing that people in. The forces used to use.
And it's a big long thing. And they would just basically have. All their belongings in it.
But it didn't have handles. For some reason. Or maybe the handles had fallen off.
But it was just like a big punch bag. I'm thinking it might belong to my granddad. Because he used to be a boxer.
And. I think I might have had my granddad's boxing gloves. But I did buy some boxing gloves as well.
And some. Bag gloves. But I also liked to punch without.
Without any gloves on as well. So. Yeah.
So my dad helped me put all that stuff up. So that was nice. I've got real happy memories of.
Practicing karate in the garden. I say happy memories. But they're very vague memories.
But I do remember. I used to practice my kicks and my punches. And my forms.
That's when there's a sequence of different moves. Some people call it the kata. Some people call it.
Form. It's just like practicing kicks and punches. And.
Blocks and stuff. So. And in the evenings.
I used to go and. Really. Really go on that punch bag.
Proper the heavy one. More than anything. I loved it.
I just really loved it. Especially. If one of my brothers was annoying me.
I'd go down the garden. And just. Punch the.
Punch the bag as it were. And. Yeah.
It was useful. Really useful. Yeah.
I like that punch bag. The one that was heavy. I like that.
The heavier the better. Like a big. Big heavy punch bag.
That's kind of the perfect thing. You know. Something that doesn't even move when you punch it.
That's like perfect. Don't want something to start moving. And swaying around.
No. Something really heavy. Like 20 stone or something.
That'd be nice. Although my ceiling wouldn't take that. I do have a punch bag in my.
Bedroom. There's one that's on a. It's got like got a water base. Base with water.
You can put concrete or sand in there. But I just put water in. So.
I can punch it. It does move around and. I just feel a little bit self-conscious.
That I'm gonna. Disrupt my neighbor downstairs. Because they're gonna hear it.
How could they not hear it. It's quite loud. You know I mean.
So. Oh. Oh.
Oh. Trying to think of some other. Yeah in the summers we used to.
Well in wasn't that many summers was it. But I remember one summer we. Met up in this park.
Around the corner from where I lived. And we'd run around. And then we'd spa and stuff.
It was brilliant. It wouldn't be something I would do. Myself.
I wouldn't go to a park and start. Practicing karate. But when you've got a bunch of.
Black belts with you. Adults. It's kind of you can do what you want really.
So it was nice. I'm trying to think. Other moments of the karate.
Getting my. Yeah getting my gradings was nice. Getting my first class gradings.
And getting the new belt. That was always good. Feeling part of something that.
For the first time. I was quite good at. I'm not saying I was.
But I feel. Okay for the first time. I felt I wasn't really bad at something.
Because previous to that. I've been in the sea cadets and. It took me.
Over two years. To get my first badge. And most people get it within.
Two or three months. And every Friday. Or every other Friday.
They would read out. Who's got the next badge. Sometimes people would get it in a month.
Or six weeks. And I got passed over. Every single.
Time. It got to the point where I was a laughing stock. That they actually read out.
And not Newland. And it became a joke. Like a running joke that I. Didn't get promoted.
I was like at the lowest level. For the whole time pretty much. And then one night.
They read my name out. And the whole place erupted. Because it was.
Such a build up over. A long period of time. The fact that I finally got my first.
Was it Junior Seaman or something. I forget the first badge. And.
I think I got demoted the next week. But it still had it for a little while. I was always getting in trouble.
Always. In trouble at school. In trouble at the Sea Cadets.
Because I just didn't. I wasn't good with. Wasn't a big fan of people telling me what to do.
Really. And it was weird. It's kind of such a weird thing.
Because my dad wouldn't let me leave the Sea Cadets. Because there was a point where I'd like. When I first got there.
I found it funny. Because they'd be shouting at me. And I find it funny because I knew.
That I could just walk out. And I didn't have to do it. You know it is a choice.
And then. When I said I wanted to leave. I was told no.
And I've got this. Some weird man. Adult shouting in my face.
As I okay. I can't. This is not funny anymore.
So. Yeah I left. My first opportunity I got out of there.
And. There was a family. A family thing.
A little family adventure. Between the parents. And that gave me the.
Opportunity to get out of the Sea Cadets. And then I started doing Karate. So yeah.
Oh. Loved Karate so much. And I remember.
I had. Oh yeah I'd also had a really. I used to buy stuff.
And I had the like the gym stuff. The bags. Punch bags.
The weights. But I also had. Martial arts weapons as well.
Because next to the. Where I used to do my grade in. Which is in the next town.
They had a martial arts shop. Next to. The Karate Center.
The club. Because our club was just in a gym. They actually had a purpose built club.
So I went into the. I used to go into the martial arts shop. And I'd buy.
Bruce Lee magazines. Nunchucks. Throwing stars.
Stuff like that. Or I'd buy them. I was going to say I'd buy them online.
But obviously you can't do that. But I would. There used to be.
Like with the martial arts magazines. I don't even remember what it's called. Probably martial arts monthly or something.
And you could order stuff. Through the post. So that's what I would do.
From these martial arts shops in London. So I'd all. I had.
Nunchucks. I might have had two pairs of nunchucks. I also had a plastic pair of nunchucks.
Which is good for practicing. Multiple throwing stars. Which I used to play with in the garden.
Which is weird. Because probably not a good idea. To let a kid play with throwing stars.
And. What else did I have? Hmm. I think it was mainly books.
So I had books. On different Kung Fu styles. Teaching different Kung Fu moves.
And I used to practice all that stuff. And. Exercise books.
Martial art exercises. To help strengthen the body. And yeah.
I had lots of stuff like that. That I used to buy. And the regular monthly.
You know or weekly. Kung Fu martial art magazines. Karate monthly.
I was also got into boxing as well. And. Kind of a little bit later than that.
But I started buying KO. Which is a knockout monthly. I think.
And. It kind of led me towards the fitness side of things. I got into bodybuilding.
Never worked with me. Because my body would not build. But I got interested in it.
And started to learn all about bodybuilding. And diet. Because I was into going to the gym.
Because the gym around the corner. So I used to go there as well. And.
The thing is. When I was 15. I had a really good body.
But no one knew I had a good body. Because I was so little. That might sound like a weird statement.
I kind of looked. I was very muscular. But I was little.
It's hard to explain. Because I'm obviously not explaining it very well. When I started working at a chip shop.
I remember my. My boss. Laughing at me.
I was 15. And I said I've got muscles. And he started laughing.
So. I pulled my top off. My sleeve up.
And showed him. He was like oh wow. Because I did.
I had muscles. I had biceps. Because I'd been working out for a couple of years.
I'm not saying they were big. But they were firm. Firm muscles.
Chest. I had six pack. And all that stuff.
I was just one big. Very sinewy muscle though. Because I was so little.
I wasn't particularly strong either. But. No fat on me at all.
But I never used to walk around with my top off. Or anything. Because if I had of done.
People might have thought that I looked okay. But I was embarrassed with how slim I was. So I never did that.
A strange one really. Hmmm. I used to love doing that.
I used to love. Sort of having the magazines and the books. That's always seems to be.
How I do things. Or have done things over the years. When I get a special interest.
So before it used to be. Before karate. It was.
Really interested in. Hmmm. Like.
Werewolves and. Vampires and that kind of stuff. I just got really interested in it.
Just became. Something that I was. Passionate about.
And I'd go to the library. On my days off. At the weekend.
On a Saturday. And I'd study. Look through these big textbooks.
And encyclopedias. And copy stuff down. I learnt so much about it.
There was no reason for it. I just became interested. And I learnt more than.
I needed to about the subject. I started buying books. About it.
And learnt quite a little bit. Well quite a lot about. All that whole thing.
And then. Then I got obsessed with. Karate.
Yeah. So that was when I was about. 11, 12.
Sort of. Same time. Possibly as the Sea Cadets.
But. I had no interest in the Sea Cadets. Didn't even like it.
I had a laugh. When I was there. But didn't.
Enjoy being there. Really. To start with it was a nice.
Relief from being at home. And then it got. Became a chore.
And then once I did Karate. That was nice because I was out of the house. But I was also doing something that I enjoyed.
And for the first time in my childhood. I was. I had something to look forward to.
Which was going to Karate. And that's all I talked about. To anyone.
Didn't talk about anything else. Just Karate. Seriously it was.
Must have been really boring for people. I mean you're probably going to get an idea of how boring it is. Because you just listen to me.
Talking about it for the last. Hour and a half. Or so.
But I loved the Karate. I'm just trying to think. Is there any other aspects of Karate.
That I remember. That stand out. Hmm.
So my little brother going. No. Oh I tell you what I did do.
There's another. One of the black belts. The like the young black belts.
In the Karate club. He left to start his own club on a Friday night. Somewhere else.
And. I. I basically talked him into having kids go straight away. As well as adults.
So. I got my little brother to go. And he was seven.
So that whole. His club started off. With little kids straight away.
And adults. I don't know if he. I don't think he continued.
In that town. But he might have moved somewhere else. And did it.
But he was a really cool. He was a cool dude. Dude.
Cool dude. He was about eighteen. Nineteen.
And he was just. The kind of person I'd want to be. The kind of person I'd still want to be now.
And never was. Never could be. Never will be.
He just. He was a perfect. Person.
He had everything. Obviously he didn't have everything but. From the outside it looked like he had everything.
You know. He was. Clearly very tough.
He was brilliant at karate. He was. A good looking bloke.
He was. Great personality. Extremely confident.
I think. If you're a black belt when you're a teenager. You're going to have confidence there aren't you.
So. That's the one thing I would say to any. Any parent that's got a kid.
Get them down to. Some kind of martial arts. Because the confidence that comes from it.
Is pretty cool. And whether it's karate. Judo.
Jiu Jitsu. Whatever. It's just something.
So you know that they can take care of themselves. But more than that. It's people are confident.
Quite often never ever need to use it. The higher they get. In the training.
The less chance they're ever going to need to use it. Because. It's almost like an aura comes off them.
The confidence maybe. Now I know people have done martial arts for. Decades.
And never ever had to use it. Yeah man. What else.
What else. Because I'm only talking about karate. So I'm not talking about any of the other martial arts I've done.
So just about the karate when I was at school. Trying to think of anything else. That happened.
They are. In that environment. No I can't think of anything now.
That's pretty much it. Yeah. I mean I've got to.
I quite like getting to know a few adults. Because. I tell you okay.
One of the things I liked about the karate club. I got to know some adults. Though generally I didn't know any adults.
Other than I suppose friends of the family. And teachers. And I didn't want to know them.
So. I got to know a few adults. I could say hello to.
And I was getting to the point of leaving school anyway. You know I was 14. Left school at 15.
And. Yeah. That was quite cool.
Kind of go around and had a neighbor. And I. Go around his. And we trained together sometimes.
Because he was also doing judo. And. Another good thing.
Is I made some new friends. And there was this rivalry. Between.
The two of them. The two high schools. And there was less rivalry for me.
Because. Everything I did from the age of 11. To.
Leaving school. I did with people from the other school as well. So in the sea cadets.
Probably half of the kids in the sea cadets. Were from the other school. As well as my school.
So I knew them. And then when I did karate. The karate club was actually at the other school.
And so there was more kids from that school. Than there was from my own school. So I got to know them.
So it was kind of quite good. Because then that rivalry wasn't there for me. I got to meet different people.
From both the schools. And there wasn't so much of that. Like them and us.
When it came to me. Yeah. I liked that.
It was nice. Yeah I made a few friends. That I used to hang out with.
There was one friend. I thought he was a girl. When he first started.
And. There was a boy. And his mum was also there.
And yeah I just ended up. Hanging around with him for a little bit. He was.
Probably about a year younger than me I think. But his mum was really cool. And I'd go around and.
She'd give me dinner and stuff. Trying to think what else. Yeah I didn't have any friends at my school.
That did karate. Other than. Stefan's brother.
I think nearly everyone else. That went to karate with me. Was from the other school.
Which is for some reason. I don't know why that was. I suppose it's.
I guess if you've got karate in your school. You're more likely to go there. But.
Yeah so. I mean there was a couple. There was.
Two, three. Three, three. And me.
So there was about four of us. Were actually from my school. And everyone else was from.
The school it was in. Other than you know the kids. Rather than the adults.
So there was probably. I'd say. 10% adults.
Like adult adults. Hmm. Maybe 20% adults.
So people in their 20s plus. And then maybe. 20% of.
Older teens. You know like maybe 17. To 20.
Kind of. And then maybe. I don't know.
I would say the majority was. Hmm. I don't know.
Yeah I'd say probably. 13. Or 12, 13.
To 16. That seemed to be the main age group. But there was a few older.
And a few even older than that. When I started. And then when I left.
There was probably another 10%. Of under. Under 11.
Or under 12 whatever. The. You know the former.
Age limit was. Until. My pestering.
Allowed. Open the gates for. Kids to go along like really young kids.
Like my little brother. Yeah. I never realized that that was the proudest moment of my life.
Until this this moment. It's the only thing I've done. My whole life.
I'll tell you what's weird. Is it's now starting to get dark. It's nearly 10 o'clock.
This. 956. And it's dark inside.
Not like dark dark. As in like. I can't see anything.
Dark. But it's still light outside. It's it's not light light.
So you can see everything. But it's light enough to go out and. Not need a torch.
That makes sense. And what's weird. Is this is now the time.
Even though this is technically. Probably the peak of the summer. Like beginning of July.
May. Or maybe June is. But you know roughly.
This is kind of the. Peak time. Last week was very hot.
This coming week is supposed to be very hot. But now we've already had the longest day. So it's starting to get.
Darker earlier. And get lighter later. It might it's only maybe.
I don't know few minutes a week. But it's really weird how quickly. It starts to get darker.
Because in a month's time. It'll be completely pitch black by now. At 10 o'clock.
And then in September. It'll be dark pretty by 8 o'clock. If not earlier.
Possibly 7 o'clock. And then. By November.
December is just dark all the time. It feels like it sometimes. Like it never.
There are days when it just doesn't seem to get much brighter than this. How it is now. I mean it's this kind of light.
At three in the afternoon sometimes in December. Especially on like a cloudy day. You don't have to have the light on.
And look outside this is. Yeah weird. Dark at four in the afternoon.
In January. So we're not there yet but. It's kind of weird that.
This is the kind of the peak. The peak of the summer. It's a bit windy today.
Someone's put a brick in front of the. The gate that keeps slamming shut. So I'm guessing someone's been a little bit.
Mildly annoyed by it. So that was a good idea. I'm surprised someone hasn't moved it.
There's always. There's always like one person wants one thing. And then another person wants another thing.
So someone wants it left open. Another person wants it left closed. It's like just.
Leave it be man. Just chill out. Chill out and just enjoy all the chocolate.
That's one thing you should say. That's before the diabetes. I can't think of any other things.
Connected to karate. That. I can talk about.
I can't. Hmm. You'd think there'd be something else wouldn't you? Karate.
Karate. I was the karate kid. I remember watching that and it was.
I think it's the first time I was in tune. With what was going on. Like.
The karate kid was so popular. In the Western world. And loads of people wanted to do karate because they wanted to be.
A karate man. And. I think at that time I was already doing it.
So I think the karate kid was 85. So I was already a karate kid before the karate kid came out. It's like yay.
I was the head of the curve. Head of the curve. Which is cool.
But it was a dream I'd had for years. You know ever since I was a little kid. I wanted to do martial arts.
I wanted to be Kung Fu. From a TV show Kung Fu. I mean technically his name was Kane.
But you know. That's what I wanted to be. I wanted to be.
Not just being able to do the moves. But also to be calm. And peaceful.
And not. Not react. Because he was so calm.
He just. He did what he needed to do. But he didn't.
Overreact to people trying to you know. Get him agitated. I never learnt that bit.
That's the bit I never learnt. I kind of learnt it now. It's taken me.
A little while. I'm better than I used to be. Yeah.
But. I did. I like the spiritual side of it.
As well. And I guess I found that with. Maybe Buddhism.
When I was older. Reading Buddhism. When I was in my 20's.
And studying it. Taoism as well. As well as.
What's the other thing. I forget. And that's it really.
That was my little karate career. When I was at school. As I got older.
Like. Moving towards. Leaving school.
I started. If you can hear that. Someone's doing it in the garden.
I started kind of. Going out and. Doing stuff and.
Kind of moved away from it. A bit. But.
That's kind of standard I think. Sounds like the motorbikes gone now. What a silly time to be riding a motorbike.
In a garden. Three minutes past ten in the evening. My goodness.
So I. I started to move away from it. Started to do things with my friends. Go to the cinema.
Hang out. Do things. Instead of going to karate.
You know this was just. Pretty much. Just before I left school.
And then after I left school. That was kind of it. Because.
I was working in a chip shop. For some reason I chose. I chose a job.
Which didn't allow me. To continue doing karate. Possibly wasn't the best.
Career move I ever made. But. It is.
It's what I did. And I can't change that. So.
There you go. But I'm glad I did the karate. I'm glad I did that at school.
I wish I'd started earlier. Then I wasn't allowed to. So hey.
I also wish I'd done boxing. The thing is. Boxing was in a different town.
So I did go. Because I had a friend that went. But.
It was a lot of. I mean it was expensive. The bus.
I was getting home late. And it just wasn't really practical. So I didn't go.
I did. I stopped going. I did a bit of kickboxing.
Before I did the karate as well. That was with a neighbour opposite. Who was in the American forces.
And. The kid next door to me. Wanted.
He wanted to teach him kickboxing. But needed someone else. To teach him.
With. He needed an opponent. Someone to spar with.
So. The kid asked me if I'd come along. So I did.
They'd been my next door neighbour for a few years. The thing I didn't like about that. Is a couple of things.
First I didn't like the stretching. I'd never stretched before. It was not fun.
And I felt it. For days afterwards. I know we still did stretch in karate.
But it was. Stretching in kickboxing. It was really full on.
And the other thing I didn't like. Is. But I didn't really appreciate.
Was. The man teaching us. Was.
So he had. It was only two of us. Training.
And so he taught us. He taught us the basic punches. Kicks and stuff.
And then he got us sparring. But he was shouting. In.
Like support of the other kid. Not me. I didn't like that.
It bugged me. Still bugs me today. Just like what are you doing? It's.
You can't invite two kids. To come along and train them. And then.
Side with one over the other. Especially as. Neither of us were really.
We were just neighbours. He hadn't known. He'd known us all the same length of time.
He knew my parents. The bloke. He knew the parents next door.
So. It's very strange. I knew his.
Look his son. His son was. Yeah I used to go up.
In there and. I used to hang around with his son sometimes. So I'd been in his house a few times.
So he knew me. So I don't know. But to side.
Maybe that's why because he kind of. Got to know me a bit and he thought. You know.
Try and teach the other kid to. To win. But neither of us won.
Because we were both. Both the same size. Because he was younger than me.
Both pretty much the same size. That's why I was picked to do it. You know.
Probably the same kind of strength level. And. We couldn't hurt each other.
If we tried we couldn't. It was just. We were padded up really properly padded up.
Like. Body. Legs.
Feet. Hands. Maybe even elbows and head.
So there is. It's almost like. It's.
Yeah. It'd be a little bit like. Getting a little glass thimble.
Wrapping it up in. Bubble wrap. Like a whole.
200 foot bit of bubble wrap. And tying that all together. All around.
And then covering it in. Foam. So the ball is probably about.
You know the size of a house. And then just dropping it. Two inches.
You know. You're not going to make any difference to the little. The little.
Glass thimble. A little glass. The little tiny little glass thing.
It's not going to break because it's. You know it's so protected. That's a little bit like what we were like.
With all the padding on. That seemed like a good analogy. Until I started.
And I realised it was going on a bit too far. And I also thought. I'm saying glass thimble.
Does anyone know what I mean when I say glass thimble. And I'll explain what I meant is. Because you can get metal thimbles.
That's basically what people use when they do sewing. Because they use it to push. The needle through.
Through the cotton or whatever. So it's kind of. It just protects the thumb.
But you can also get glass ones. Or at least you used to be able to. And they have little dents in them.
So that it would. It would catch the needle. The end of the needle as you pushed it in.
So yeah. Anyway. Just thought I'd explain that.
So. This brings me to the end. Of the recording.
Again. La la la la la. So thank you for listening.
Remember to be kind to yourself. Because you do deserve. To feel happy.
And be gentle with yourself. You deserve to feel safe. Lots of love.
Bye. Bye bye.
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.