(music) Whisper Wednesday LMBYTS #1378 Jason Newland 18th June 2025

Hello and welcome to Fidgety Vinnie. I think the heat is getting to him a little bit. It's getting to me a little bit.

It's making me do strange things. It's not. So hello, welcome to me.

Let Me Bore You To Sleep. This is Whisper Wednesday. It's still, I don't know what time it is, about four o'clock.

Two minutes to four p.m. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. I've been waiting all day to do this because there's building work going on opposite me. In the flat opposite the hallway.

It's not in the hallway but the flat when you go out the front door. The opposite door in there. He's having his bathroom redone and he's had his bath taken out today.

Now I can't really complain about the noise because it's been pretty quiet. But it's far enough away to not really affect me too much. But the other side of it is I need to keep Vinnie occupied auditarily because if he hears movement out of the front door he's got a habit of barking.

So this is the first moment of the whole day where there hasn't been music or some kind of something that he can listen to to distract him. Apart from when we've been out. So I'm not sure how his canoe will react when they, because the bath is actually indoors.

The one they've removed. So when they drag that down the stairs I'm guessing Vinnie will give some type of response which is understandable. Wow okay so I'm guessing it's the hottest day of the year so far and I probably could do with wearing shorts or wearing not much inside.

But I can't walk around in just me undies because I've got no curtains up. I washed my curtains at the weekend and I just haven't bothered to put them back up yet. Even though it'll take me probably five minutes.

I'll put it off. Actually it might have been two weeks ago I did it. So I want to say thank you to Ben and you know why Ben knows why.

So thank you for your messages and I have made a few changes to date. Not a lot of changes just a couple. Only one that may affect people but I'm not doing it to affect people.

I'm just doing it because basically here's what I've done. I have I've decided to get rid of the website. I do have like a backup plan in place a redirection but I'm waiting for it to kick in because it's not working at the moment.

So the website I did have another website I was building as well so that's gone also. So the website's gone. I was getting so few visitors it really wasn't financially viable.

It was like 66 dollars a month for 20 visitors maybe a day. It just wasn't yeah couldn't keep it going so I've let that go for now. I've tried to redirect the domain name which is jasonnewland.com to my podcast page which has all my podcasts on.

On YG yeah so like the main podcast. What I haven't done which is really important is I've not deleted any podcasts. I'm not having some weird thing going on nothing's being deleted apart from the website.

All the podcasts are running just like normal including the speaker ones the soundcloud ones and so wherever you listen online it's still there nothing's changed. A couple of other things I've done trying to reduce my outgoings because this financial change has come in my way. Hopefully good ones because I've bought some lottery tickets this week.

But I have got rid of a few things I don't need to pay out for that perhaps I don't need anymore. And they were making life easier but I can kind of do around around them. Because my PIP which is like a disability thing that's up for review I think soon.

And the government have changed it so chances are I won't get anything. So I kind of need to prepare for that. Also there's no longer any adverts on the web on the podcasts.

Not that that was really wasn't that was not sometimes I didn't even cover the cost of running all the different things but that's okay so that's all gone. I got rid of Canva which was the editing software that I use for editing the images. So Canva's now gone.

That was like £13 a month. I've got rid of the transcription because I was adding transcriptions to the podcasts and to the website and looking at maybe putting a book together but that's probably not going to happen anytime soon. So I got rid of that just transcription which was £20 a month.

I've kept ChatGPT because that's what I use for the images to create the images that Canva was to finalise it all and put it together. So yeah I'll be using only ChatGPT. I'm trying to think of anything else that I've managed to offload.

Canva, transcription, the website, no so the podcast I'm paying I think £55 a month for Spreaker. So that's doable I can manage that and there will come a time when they'll start to charge me more if I keep increasing the amount of recordings that are on there which is going to happen naturally. All my old recordings that were on my website, you know the Let Me Bore You To Sleep 1 to 50 and then 51 to 100 etc all those podcasts are on my Spreaker page.

So yeah it's all available you just need to just I've posted the link to the Spreaker page which has all my podcasts I've posted that on my Facebook group which is Jason Newland's Boring Group. You know what as a number of things I spent a good couple of days really promoting the Facebook group like really going all out I made a podcast just specifically to try and get a few more members in it and some other stuff I did.

And after all that I got one I got two new members both the same person both two different Facebook pages with one person the same name.

So I'm wondering whether or not Facebook is really a place where people gather anymore I don't know maybe because I'm not really on Twitter. I don't know I think people find my stuff when they when they want to when they I'm not hard to find online just my name Jason Newland.

Easy to find I'm all over the place not just mentally but I'm all you know I'm on all the main podcast hosts so it's very easy to find me of course I'm also on SoundCloud someone's having a good old cough outside and you could say it's a perfect day today it's a blue sky a little bit of breeze a little bit not a lot a little bit because I took Vinnie out probably about an hour ago and we went to the park at one point we were sitting well not sitting,

I was standing under the tree he was standing under the tree getting some shade as I was standing there with him he had his tongue out, well I had my tongue out as well and the breeze was glorious such a glorious breeze isn't it, it's so weird none of the other people that were around was staring at him, he had his tongue out, but why was he staring at me so I came home, put some clothes on and I had a shower today before going out I mean,

it's not the first time I've had a shower it's the first time I've had a shower today so I had it about two o'clock before I went out I was sweating like I'd had a shower dried myself off, like completely dried myself off water was squirting out of my ears I couldn't believe it it was just there was a puddle in my shoes, there wasn't a puddle in my shoes a swamp, no there wasn't a swamp, why am I saying that,

I don't know I never know but yeah it was nice it was a little bit too hot for the little one and the heat is making him tired, he's fast asleep even though he was awake when I started this he's completely exhausted I can almost tell as well because when I go to get up out of the chair you know when he's sort of half asleep or just resting he'll jump up with me but just now before I started this I went over and got my,

had to go and put stuff away before coming back he didn't want to move, he was just lying there like really he's just like what do you want he was just staring at me, why have you got to get up now I've been listening to some Richard Bandler videos from probably the early 80s late 70s, early 80s probably late 80s, early 80s and Richard Bandler is the co-creator of Neurolinguistic Programming normally known as NLP but now NLP is also known as, is it Natural Language Programming or something in computers,

so NLP kind of has more than one meaning now, a little bit like CBT I actually remember, and this is totally true, I was at college when I was doing university, we had to learn about other therapies as well, because I was studying person centred counselling, which is Rogerian therapy Carl Rogers and all that stuff but we also had to look at other things, gestalt, psychotherapy psychoanalysis behaviourism, all that stuff and CBT, cognitive behavioural therapy and I was at my dad's and his wife was there and they sort of said,

what are you doing, I've just been studying CBT, and she said, what's that I said, I'll show you, so I got my phone out and went to Google, no I didn't actually I think it was her laptop I'm not sure if I even had a phone that could do the internet back then so I went to her laptop or her computer I said I'll show you, so I put CBT into Google, now I didn't realise that there's more than one CBT there's at least three now, I made the mistake,

and I did, there was a time when you could just put, I feel lucky so you put CBT and then click, I feel lucky and it'll just come up with a website that they've sort of chosen, I don't know if anyone remembers that, it was a long time ago well, I didn't realise there's three different CBT's there's one CBT which is the motorbike test, so in order to get to ride a motorbike, or motorcycle, or maybe a moped I don't know, I think it's a motorbike,

it's called a CBT I don't know what it stands for, something training and then there's another one the CBT, that's the website that came up and there was a really explicit image, bearing in mind my step mum is like standing next to me, and I'm pointing out that this is what I'm doing, so I press I feel lucky, so I click that and my dad calls me over, he said do you want a beer, or do you want a whisky, so I'm looking at him,

I said I'll just have a beer and my step mum says, so that's what you're studying at university, and I said yeah, and I'm kind of busy focusing on my dad, and she said really I said yeah why, so I turned back and it was the third one, and it was this big image, and not something you particularly want to watch online with your step parent, the cock and ball that's what the CBT stood for there, it's not even a joke this really happened, at least I was very surprised because I'd never even heard of that,

I mean really it's like, I don't normally talk stuff like this but I'm just saying this is real, it's like what, CBT I was like no that's not what I'm learning at university, it's cognitive behavioural therapy she said but you said CBT, I said yeah that is CBT, this also apparently is cock and balls, CBT fair enough but it's not the CBT, why would Google, it wouldn't do that now, but why back then you know, the amount of stuff that they just chuck at you without even like, I don't want that,

I want something different, I'm not looking for that it's um anyway so do you ever hear voices, I mean I'm talking like real voices and sometimes I don't know if it's a person talking or if it's a person on a mobile phone talking like on speaker or if it's a radio or if it's a television do you ever get that when it's like, it's like continuous talking, it's almost like it's not, there's no pauses so maybe there's two people talking mind you I've known people that just talk and talk and talk yeah my landlady used to be like that,

she used to talk to me, I'd be in the toilet and she'd still be talking to me seriously, I'd actually be on the toilet and she'd still be saying something, whatever she was talking about, I was like why are you still talking she used to like me when I first moved in there, my landlady this is back in 1991 and then in 1993 kind of near the end of the year we had a new person move in and I think she fell in love with him and he was always around doing stuff for her and spending time with her I mean she,

I think she invited me into her living room twice, once was when she told me she was going to kick me out, another time she wanted me to watch an Italian opera, I preferred the eviction one to be fair and he was in there all the time I don't know if they cuddled, it's nothing to do with me but he really took a dislike to me and started stirring it up, so I ended up moving out oh the eviction, that didn't happen, she just said she had enough of me and I said oh please,

I'll do anything, she said anything and I sung that song from that movie, I would do anything anything, anything was that Doctor Dolittle I think, I don't know I don't feel proud of myself but I actually moved out when she was on the toilet it's true, I had all my bag actually I didn't, I just I ordered a taxi and I think I packed everything up while she was into black bags, brought them downstairs and moved out I couldn't be there anymore because she wasn't being nice to me,

I think I kind of over overspent my welcome as it were but even now when I think back I wonder why did I just stay there for so long, was it just laziness I don't know, I kind of liked quiet because I lived opposite, or lived behind a graveyard so the front of the house was a cul-de-sac so there was no traffic and behind the house wasn't just a graveyard it was an old graveyard that no one went in and there was a newer graveyard next to it that was active I used to go for walks there because it was nice and peaceful maybe I've always been weird you think I just remember my favourite thing in the world really,

other than going to comedy clubs was going to the West End buying a book, coming home reading a book sitting up in bed reading a book that's what I enjoyed doing and I'm kind of intending to get back to that I just need to get my eyes tested so that I can start reading again because my eyesight is a bit boo-boo at the moment that's another reason why I've kind of I've come to the conclusion that or a decision maybe I don't want to spend a long period of time staring at a computer screen it's not good for my eyes I think it's affecting my eyes because I've been doing it for 20,

25 years thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of hours since 2020 I've been staring at a computer screen sometimes 10, 13, 14 hours a day so yeah thousands upon thousands of hours and I don't think it's been great for my optical nerves or whatever and when I take a break from looking at the computer my eyes do feel better my eyes that was my eyes feel more relaxed I'm okay for like an hour or so that's about it, I think an hour a day you know,

do the editing and then upload them and that's done in fact I don't even, I mean it's a little bit of staring at the computer but it's I don't need to be online the whole time looking over the screen and also I think with the way technology's working especially with things like chat GPT I can ask it to make me things, maybe use the chat a bit more, use the microphone and verbally do requests as opposed to typing in, so that'll maybe make it a little bit easier,

a little bit more thorough a bit more, less staring at a computer screen and it would be nice to get back to reading and learning but not for any kind of reason other than just for fun you know, I'm interested in hypnosis, I'm interested in chronic pain relief, I'm interested in techniques to help people, different things that I can say, different ways of saying it that can be useful to help people,

so that's not changed I don't feel any less wanting to help people if anything more that desire or that need I'd say it's grown stronger as I've got older but what I like to do how I like to sort of work things out is I like to learn things but then just let it all be in my brain and percolate maybe and just mix together with all the other stuff so that I can come up with ideas when I'm talking that may be useful and I suppose it's about feeding my brain with helpful stuff and also things that I'm interested in because if I'm not interested in something I might as well just there's no point reading it,

there's no point me watching something I'm not interested in because I just switch off, I don't take any notice so I suppose I need to work within my I suppose in some ways limitations but I like to think of it as geniuses work within my genius trying to think what else has happened today not a lot, like yesterday there wasn't a huge amount of sound really from the neighbour but there was a fair bit of sound,

like I think it was there was other music and things like that from other neighbours I think it was blocking the noise so I'm guessing that people downstairs could hear it more than I could which kind of makes sense because if they're drilling and stuff and breaking concrete into the floor that's going to affect anyone that shares that ceiling doesn't it I suppose, I know I share the floor but I'm quite far removed,

I'm in a room that's the furthest I could get away from where he is not to get away from him just because this is where my living room is and I've got no no walls that really share but his next door neighbour does and downstairs from him does they both share the same kind of, like his bathroom oh wait a minute his hallway and his bedroom he shares with next door but the floor is shared isn't it really I guess with next door downstairs I assume the bathroom yeah the bathroom

ceiling for downstairs would be his bathroom floor so they're going to feel it or they're going to hear it but so far I've heard a bit of banging a bit of stuff like that was that loud, sorry no that sounds more like a space invaders game or something Buck Rogers, Star Wars even pew pew pew that's what I should have done, I should have done voices and sounds I could have been a I could have been a voice for like animation pew pew, I don't know how far I'd go with that one sound though,

but it's quite a good sound pew pew if only all these things I could have done I do wonder, I think back to when I was 15 when I was 15 I left school when I was even too young to join the army I was so young it was just the choices, some of the choices I couldn't do until I was 16 but a lot of things I could have just there were things I wasn't able to do,

I couldn't apply to join the police force I couldn't go to university there's certain things I wasn't allowed to do because of having no qualifications and leaving school at so early age because I left I think it was April 1986 and I wasn't 16 until the end of August so yeah 4 months or whatever until I was 16 and I was suddenly earning £60 a week working full time which at 15 was a huge amount of money for me huge amount, huge honestly I was buying clothes I was buying new clothes,

I was walking around dressed nice for the first time really I didn't walk around horribly dressed when I was a kid but I'm just saying for the first time I could choose my own actually I kind of did choose my own clothes really, but most of the clothes were school uniform wasn't it? not at home, I need to get myself some pyjamas that's what I need to do I realised that I'm looking at my clothes lately and I'm just wearing the same old stuff everyday I've got these dark brown tracksuit bottoms Horace is there, can you hear Horace?

he's having an argument with his wife Doris I've got 7 pairs of these tracksuit bottoms so I wear a different pair everyday and I'm pretty sure people see me, they've never seen me wear anything else for years I don't know if they think I'm just wearing the same thing everyday, like the same pair of tracksuit bottoms which I'm not, it's different ones they're just all the same so I've decided I'm going to try and get myself some clothes a little bit of clothing every week so I'm trying to every time I get paid I put 10% away,

saving and that's for veterinary bills for him and I'm also saving up so I can go and get my eyes tested and pay for some decent glasses, the eye test is free but anyway that's what that 10% is for it's basically his now I've got a dog barking, blimey that dog hardly ever used to bark before and now it can't shut up apart from when it's not barking, which is most of the time most of the time it's quiet, so I don't know why I'm moaning I do know why I'm moaning because I love it,

I love moaning it's my right as an English person to moan, to complain about the weather or just talk about the weather and to just moan that's my human right and to drink lots of tea so what was I going to say, oh yeah so 10% I'll try and put away for future vet bills future things like dentists, because I haven't got a dentist so dental bills, because that was £300 when I had a tooth removed a couple of years ago or a year and a half ago so and the other thing is for my eyes so that's those three things that I need to put that away for and now I'm going to spend a percentage of workouts,

a percentage, small percentage of every time I get paid and contribute that towards getting some clothes, whether it's a pair of socks or a pair of pants, underpants or a t-shirt, whatever, just to start getting some, I don't know, half decent clothes because most of what I've got is worn out and old and grotty I mean, because I've got a tendency of buying cheap stuff, like cheap t-shirts five for a pound, no maybe not, but five t-shirts for like 20 quid they're fine to start with, but after a few washes they just,

they don't look great so it's something I want to try and do also I need to look at getting a winter coat, this is probably the best time of the year to get a winter coat really, because they'll be cheaper because I don't have one, I've got this old thing my dad gave me, probably about 10 years ago probably longer actually, and it's something he used to wear on the docks, he gave that to me and I just had it as a backup,

but then the two winter coats that I did have got mislaid so I ended up with nothing, so I've been wearing that one for the last couple of years which is ok, I've got a big jumper on underneath, but I think since I lost a little bit of weight I feel the cold a little bit more than I used to because I used to be like a seal you know, in the winter I just I had so much blubber I didn't really feel the cold at all now I still don't feel it hugely,

but a little bit more so I've got a little bit less fat on me I'm still heavy enough to not be affected by the wind so that's good, that is an advantage of not being really really slim and light because I used to get blown around by the wind I used to have to wear heavy boots in a light breeze, seriously I remember once we went kiting and my dad used to love kiting and we'd go to the top of the cliffs and it was a windy day I was on a windy day and because we lived near the beach,

windy days are very generous, there's a lot of them and we'd be flying these kites and it was great, but I would actually find myself being lifted up by the kite I mean this was when I was a kid so I probably only weighed I don't know, four stone or five stone maybe so it wouldn't take a lot for a four stone to be lifted off off the ground yeah, I don't know why I started thinking of that that was quite good times actually and my dad had a friend who owned,

I don't know if it was an ice cream place I think it was it was like this restaurant, I think it was like a restaurant bar but it had an ice cream bar in it so I don't think based on where I was positioned that they would make enough money just selling ice cream so it was actually a venue, so we went there and we used to get some ice cream that was a long story that didn't really lead anywhere did it I could have just said we're going to have

some ice cream I just remember it was quite a big room with tables and stuff and I think my dad used to do work for the man like electrical stuff, but he was also friends with him I think if I was ever to have my time again and I had to choose a trade I don't really know, I've thought about this I don't think I'd want to be an electrician I don't think I'd want to be a carpenter just because I've never really I did woodwork at school but it never

really I never found it interesting I did metal work as well that was even less interesting working with metal wasn't really something that I particularly looked forward to no in junior school I used to like woodwork because it was just part of crafts and I'd be working with balsa wood so what I needed was a little knife I suppose it's whittling I think it's called and a bit of sandpaper and I would make this what are they called not yachts,

canoes and I used to quite enjoy doing that and cross stitching as well I loved cross stitching I don't know what it was I think it might have been that it gave me a focus something to really focus on it took my mind away from what I was thinking about I guess, maybe and I needed that I was about 9 or 10 when I did that and I felt good, I felt very relaxed when I did stotch critching critch stotching,

cross stitching cross stitching I tried it again when I was in my 20s I can't remember what happened I don't know why I didn't stick at it otherwise I'd be doing it now wouldn't I however if I did do it now I'd probably use a tambourine it's not that round thing that you use, or maybe you can use a door frame like a frame thing and you put the material on and you can do it that way so you can kind of see what you're doing tambourines they were like tambourines they were round anyway you couldn't shake them,

you couldn't join an orchestra or a choir because they didn't make any noise so as an accompaniment they weren't much use but for stotch critching cross stitching, why is that such a hard word to say crotch stitching, cross stitching, blimey I think it's because I haven't said it for some while it's not a term that I've used very often in the last 50 years or 45 years but I still love it,

I really did really did just perhaps that's what I need although to be honest I find making podcasts have kind of the same reaction for me because I'm focused but not on myself although I'm talking about myself I'm not focused on there's nothing going on in my mind other than the next word, or maybe wondering why I said the next word, that's a very focused very relaxing thing to do, making a recording for me because if it wasn't then I wouldn't do it,

yeah I wouldn't I'm not going to do something I don't want to do I've tried, I've spent my whole life trying to do that but as far as recordings I have forced myself to make recordings in the past and it doesn't work, I'll do the recording then I'll have to trash it because I've realised I've just been a little bit too grumpy so I only make a recording when I want to when I'm up for it and I'm feeling,

I mean sometimes I do one when I'm tired sometimes I do one because I know I need to do it but it's not that I don't want to I might give myself a little nudge maybe on a Q&A Friday when I'm thinking I've left it late and I'm going to have to do it if I don't do it now I'll have to do it in the morning and I think no I'll do it now but it's never forced wow my stomach just did a proper gurgle that's why because I only had breakfast yesterday so I've not had any food since Monday so I need to,

like not food food you know so I'm going to make myself a couple of toasted sandwiches once I've done this yeah excuse me a second, just needed to check something I don't know in my freezer I did have some rolls which I can toast I let them defrost and then I used them as roll, well bread rolls basically, they're ciabatta, ciabatta, is it ciabatta or ciabatta ciabetti rolls and I'll cook something in the air fryer and eat them inside the rolls I don't know if I've got any left in the

freezer and if I have I'm going to have to stick them in the air fryer to defrost ooh but then I'm thinking maybe what I'll do instead is I'll just have some toast with something inside the toast rather than the ciabatta rolls because I do have at least one loaf of bread in the freezer so I need to remember to eat it because I know that if I leave the bread in the freezer too long the bread just goes wrong it's not weird as you'd think,

oh you've put it in the freezer it should last for ages and ages it's frozen but if it's left in there too long the results of toasting a piece of bread a slice of bread that's been in the freezer too too long is not nice fresh toast is quite nice fresh bread, toast is also yum yum yum depending, I think depends on what kind of bread it is I tell you what's weird there's a bread called toasty that we can get it's too big to fit in the toaster long wise

it's ridiculous that it's called toasties you'd think that meant it's for toasting unless I've got the smallest toaster in the world the dog in the garden was barking again hopefully it's stopped now that dog is exactly the same as Loki same make, same everything really looks different but kind of the same type of dog same barking same sounds the same deep old voice I don't know if you can hear my stomach gurgling but I'm going to have to go and eat eat I tell you eat I'm going to eat,

maybe it's good, it's an ice cream so when I went out with Vinnie I came back, had a cornetto, I gave him some some of the ice cream, he can't have the cornetto because it's got chocolate on the crust or whatever but this was just strawberry and vanilla so I gave him a bit of the ice cream and he lapped that up very quickly oh he's just waking up, his head was hanging down oh he's gone back to sleep again he has weird dreams,

the other day I woke him up because he was literally making the strangest sounds this was on Monday night, I don't know what he was thinking but he just spent time with the neighbour who used to have him he spent about an hour and a half with her for the first time, probably since the beginning of the year and I think it's had an emotional effect on him, because he adores her absolutely adores her, he's known her since he was born since he was literally born,

she's one of the first people he ever saw in his life so he's got a big attachment to her I'd say that after two and a half years of living here and sleeping in the bed with me and being with me nearly all the time, he's probably got an attachment to me as well I just don't know, it seems to be different with her, it's just I gave her the lead and she walked off and he went with her, didn't look back, didn't care that I wasn't there it kind of,

I don't know I feel that he should want to stay with me in a way but I think he's happy, he's a happy boy he doesn't get the stimulation that he needs, I don't think but he does get out a few times a day, he sees quite a few different dogs, lots of different people he says hello to there's an amazing amount of people around here that know him by name, hello Vinnie you alright Vinnie, like I don't even know who half the people are just everyone seems to know him bless bless,

so I need to go get myself some food I need to also get a delivery I forgot about that yeah I need to get myself a delivery because I'm running out of milk I'll just see, I might have enough milk for tomorrow morning I don't know, we'll see we'll see what happens, so maybe I'll wait until tomorrow and get a delivery tomorrow I've definitely got enough milk for tea, for a few cups of tea but I don't know for the breakfast cereal and I do like to have my I do like to have my ready break in the morning and that takes up nearly a bowl of milk,

you alright darling you okay, yeah good boy, did you have a lovely sleep you did didn't you, hey, you okay you alright good boy, he's laid his head down again there's strangers, when he's lying on the sofa with me, next to me I can have my hand on him the whole time, stroking him massaging him and he's fine with that, but if we're in bed he doesn't like me putting my hand on him weird isn't it it's like, the other day he showered at me I like you as a friend,

like, it's a weird thing to say he needs a bath wow you know I was literally going to say he doesn't even react to the word bath but as soon as I said he needs a bath he looked up at me and my stomach hurt quite a bit which means it's din din's time so thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy and be gentle with yourself you deserve to feel safe lots of love bye