(no music) A busy day | LMBYTS #1379 | Jason Newland | 19th June 2025

Oh my goodness, oh my mama mama. Hello, hello, welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name is Jason Newland.

And it is 3.27pm on Thursday the 19th of June 2025. And weirdly enough, weirdly enough, strangely, this is the fourth recording I have made today. Don't ask me why.

I don't really have a reason. But it is. It's the first Let Me Bore You To Sleep one.

So this will just, I will not be focused on anything with this just chatting. So please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. I am sitting in my home.

And it is a particularly warm day today outside and inside. It feels like the heating's on. It really does.

It's a little bit a little bit stifling. I don't have a fan. So my neighbor downstairs, she says she's got two fans on her.

I don't know what that buzzing sound was. And so it's all right. You know what, you know why I don't complain about the heat, apart from when I do complain about the heat.

It's because in this country, we don't get enough hot days to really moan. I'm talking about really, really, really hot days. We don't get many of them.

We get occasional ones where it's like 40 degrees or, you know, really, it's broken all records and all that stuff. But it might be two or three days in a row and then you go back to just normal kind of temperatures. And, you know, before a few years ago, I'd never really experienced really hot temperatures.

Weather-wise. But in Thailand, it's hotter than the hottest day here. Like all the time, pretty much.

It's just warm most of the time. So the weather here is literally nothing compared to that heat-wise. And when it gets hot, it gets, you know, the hottest days in Thailand would.

I don't know, I think the whole country would shut down. Seriously, this country, we just, a bit of snow, we shut down. Too much rain, we shut down.

Too hot. Honestly, we get weather warnings for every weather. Snow warning, I think that's a yellow warning.

Although I don't know why, because we always know what yellow snow is, don't we? Don't eat yellow snow, do you remember? You'd think it'd be a white warning, wouldn't you? And then there's the rainy warning. Wind warnings. Heat warnings.

I'm not sure what the colour is for heat. I think it's orange, I think. So, hello, darling.

Hello, Vinnie. How you doing, baby? You okay? You all right? You come up to give me cuddles? There you go, get my belly out. Oh, I need to, really, I think I need to take this top off.

I need to take the top off because it's a little bit too, isn't it? A little bit too, eh? A little bit too what? Hot, obviously. Finish the sentence. He's been a good boy today.

I'll tell you what surprised me. Considering my neighbour has been having his bathroom refurbished, hardly really been affected by the noise. It's lovely.

Hasn't stopped me from doing anything. I mean, there's been a little bit of banging and drilling and stuff, but not a lot, really, not really much. I think when it comes to, I think they go into the garden to do some of the sawing and stuff, you know, breaking down the wood and sort of different sizes because these flats have not got any room.

Oh dear. There's no room in these flats for manoeuvring to be like, yeah, to be doing stuff other than what you need to do. I knew what I meant when I said that, but it doesn't, hasn't made sense to me.

They can't be sawing stuff up. You couldn't do magic tricks in these flats. I remember years ago, and this was probably in the 90s, there was someone, I think it was in India, actually, I might have it wrong, but someone watched a magic show and decided to put on a magic show of their own without realising how to do the tricks.

So he sawed a woman in half, not realising that it was, and this is genuine, this did genuinely happen. It's like, what? You couldn't make that up? Well, you could make it up, but like, really? What to add? Yeah, he got into trouble. I remember hearing about a hypnotist, or it was, yeah, a bank was being robbed.

And the one of the customers tried to hypnotise the gunman. And he got shot. So he's trying to hypnotise the person with a gun to put the gun down.

And he just shot him. So it was like, I'll move on from this. But you know, it's just weird, weird stuff.

There was another story. I don't know if it was local. It was not that far.

It was in the vicinity. And a man was a massage parlour. And he what did he do? I think he, he went out onto the veranda, or onto the roof, because a lot of little thing outside the window.

Or he'd know he didn't want to pay. And he tried to escape through the window. He got stuck on the roof.

But he had no clothes on. And the fire service had to rescue him. I may have embellished that potentially.

Very possibly. Almost definitely. But it was in that ballpark kind of story.

Yeah, it was it's it kind of did happen ish. Strange stories. What did I read? I read a story the other day.

Oh. Oh, what was the story? Oh, there was a story. Anyway, I might.

This is something that I thought about, but didn't do. Then I thought about again, I didn't do it. Then I thought, maybe I'll try it.

And then I did do it. And it seems to work. So I went on to Kindle.

And I mirrored. You can I can mirror the phone or the iPad on to the television. So I can read books on the television because I've got a big television.

And for some reason, look at the teller looking at the television doesn't give me eye strain, the way that look in a computer does. Plus, this is more relaxing, because I'm kind of, you know, reclined and chilled out. The way I actually discovered it, or the reason I discovered it is because earlier on today, I was going to read a book.

I was going to read Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. Pride and Prejudice. And I started reading it again, it was in big letters.

I was, I basically went on to chat GPT and said, please find me 50 books that are popular, popular, well known books, but also out of copyright. So what it did, it found me books from people that have been long gone. You know, haven't been around for 100 over 100 years, maybe.

And so Jane Austen's one of those people. So I looked through there's a few different books, Bram Stoker's Dracula. But I thought I don't know, because I didn't know whether to do it as part of my Jason's bedtime storytime.

Not Dracula, that's not really a bedtime storytime, is it? But then I quite like the bedtime storytimes being fairy tales. That's if I do another one, I might I might do another one. Because it's about time I did another one.

I've done a few. I think I've done 35. But I haven't done one for a while.

I have to be in a particularly silly mood to do a bedtime storytime. Because it is just silly, silly voices. And I've got the outline of the story, and then I just add even more silliness to it.

And then give it an even sillier name. So yeah, I might do another one soon. So I started reading Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice.

And I just, I can't be bored, if I'm honest. I mean, it's supposed to be a boring, boring books. Jane Austen books are not supposed to be boring.

But I found reading it out loud, I found boring. Because I read quicker. If I read out loud, it's a very slow process.

If I just read, read, then it's a lot quicker. You know, I'm not like a super fast reader, but probably twice, three times as fast as I would if I was actually reading, reading out loud. Maybe twice as fast.

Maybe not twice as fast. It's fast. That's all I can really say on that one.

It's one of those ones. So I didn't even finish chapter one, which is very short. And I just, I don't know.

I think it's something I could read, but not read out. So I think in reading books is not going to be, it's just a bit too boring for me to do. And if you want to listen to a book being read, there's loads of this loads on YouTube and audible and stuff like that.

So Jane Austen, all of her books have been read out. And you can get them and they'll be professionally done. I can't just read it straight.

I feel the need to add stuff, to commentate, commentate, comment on what I've just read. As I go along, and I think that might be a little bit disruptive to the actual book itself. The story might be a bit jarring.

I don't know. So I kind of gave up on that and then did a different recording instead. So this morning, I don't know what time I woke up.

Five o'clock, maybe. 20 to five, quarter to five. I went to bed about eight.

So it wasn't quarter to nine, something like that. So I was in bed for a while. Maybe eight o'clock.

Yes, it's quite an early night. And I decided, because I have to take a tablet about half an hour to an hour before I eat because of the acid reflux in my tum tum. During that time, normally, I will go online and I'll be working on a website or I'll be doing stuff like that.

Or maybe editing a recording from the evening before sometimes. I have no recordings to edit. And I didn't really I don't actually I don't want to start my days anymore by staring at a computer screen.

It's a little bugbear now. It's I've had problems with my eyes recently and I feel so much better when I'm not looking at a computer. I can do it for an hour.

You know, it's not like I can't look at a screen ever, but the editing of a recording takes about an hour. If there's not too much disruption. Oh, there was a bit of noise just then I don't know if you heard it.

But when I do these recordings, I'm generally I leave stuff in I don't I don't edit too much out unless I don't leave Vinnie's barking. Wow, my I just do you know, do you ever do a yawn in a part of your body? Does that make sense? Do you ever like I don't know how to explain it. Like my right foot just did a yawn.

So it's a big old stretch. But then my right big toe just stuck out. It got erect almost erect.

But you know, I mean, it was stiff. That's what I mean by erect. And it just stuck out a little bit.

That's really weird. It's almost like it had a mind of its own. But that does make sense because the big toe, the bottom of the big toe is the head.

That's if you do if you do reflexology, that's kind of represents the head. So it makes sense, doesn't it? It doesn't make sense. I don't know where I was going with that.

It makes sense in reflexology, but not for what I was saying. What's that got to do with yawning? I don't know. Anyway, my right foot just yawned.

I can't even remember what I was talking about. Noise. Yeah, normally I leave if he's barking, I will edit that out.

If there's someone at the door, I'll edit that out. If the phone rings, I'll edit that out. If there's a lot of sound outside, I'll edit that out.

But generally, if it's just normal wear and tear on my ears, you know, just people talking loudly or a dog barking in the distance and stuff, I'll just leave that in. Because that's all part of the. This is like a moment in time, almost.

Well, exactly. Not almost, it is actually is a moment in time that will never be repeated. Recorded for prosperity.

In other words, that may mean whatever that means. And there'll never be another moment like this. There'll never be another recording exactly the same as this.

There'll probably be many that are very similar, but not exactly. He looks like he's trying to eat, he's trying to eat your arm. I mean, Ben, he might have been bitten by a bug.

You've been bitten by a bug bug. You've been bitten by a bug bug. So, yeah, I woke up at about quarter five, got up.

I don't know how loud that dog is in the background. I'm sorry if it's loud. The thing is, if it doesn't register on the editing, I'll leave it in.

Because loud usually. It sounds quite loud to me. But it's a long way away from where we are.

I don't think he used to bark that much before. It's been a lot more barky lately. Yeah.

So, yeah, quarter to five. And I thought, what should I do? I do want to look at a computer. I never turn a television on before I eat my breakfast.

I never do that ever. So I didn't want to do anything that involved my eyes. I don't know, for some reason, I'm starting to want to take care of my eyes.

So I thought, I'll just sit down. I'll do a recording. I didn't know what I was going to do.

I set it up, which takes 30 seconds because it's all set up right next to my chair or next to the sofa. And Vinnie was in bed still asleep. It's way too early for him.

And I thought, if I do a recording while I'm talking, even though I talk gently, if I was doing a recording while I was talking like this, he might come in to see what's going on. He may think that he's missing something. Perhaps I've got someone in here with me or I'm on the phone or I don't know.

But then I thought, hmm, maybe I do a whisper, a deep sleep whisper hypnosis recording, because I haven't done one of them for a little while. And I did a whisper Wednesday, but that's a Let Me Bore You To Sleep one. That's just the same as this, but whispering.

I thought, maybe I'll do like a more of a relaxation, sleepy thing. So I did that. I can't remember what I called it, but it had a name.

I don't know what. But then, um, so when I finished that, I went and got my breakfast. The old dog's barking.

So when I did that, I just shut everything down, went and got my breakfast ready. Cleaned my teeth, did a wee wee. Then I went and got my breakfast because I put the breakfast in the microwave, the milk's in the microwave for two minutes and 20 seconds, the bowl.

I turn the kettle on. I try and put the hot water into the cup with the teabag so it can percolate, percolate whilst I'm in the bathroom. And I said, I'll do a wee wee.

I brush my teeth, clean my face, look in a mirror and go, heee, like the Fonzie. This is something I've been doing since I was seven. Heee.

I don't remember if anyone knows who the Fonzie was, but he used to have greased back hair and he'd have a comb and he'd look in the mirror. He was about to do his hair and be like, no, don't need to. Heee.

And yes, I do that every day. I've stopped doing it in public toilets though. Ever since I was banned from public toilets.

I'm joking. I've never been banned. I was never caught.

So never really was a big fan of public toilets. Even Liverpool Street. See Liverpool Street, you have to pay like, I don't know, is it a pound to use a toilet.

And they're still a mess. I don't want to talk about toilets. Why are we talking about toilets? I'll see what's happening outside.

There's a dog in distance. And the dog over the fence is replying to that dog. And Vinnie's tail's wagging as well.

So he's starting to hear and notice it. But if more than one dog barks at the same time. Blimey, that's a lot of noise in the garden.

Oh, I don't know what that is. And what he'll do sometimes is he'll stand by the window and howl. Seriously, like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Honestly, it's so funny to, all right, sorry, mate. So funny to hear him, see him do it. So I had my breakfast, watched a bit of TV.

I don't necessarily want to look at the news first thing in the morning or ideally any time. But also, I do want to be a little bit clued up as to what's going on. It just seems like it's kind of important to be aware of what's occurring, you know, in the world and that generally.

But, and I do dip into the news throughout the day, just to keep track of what's going on. But I don't spend long periods of time watching it, usually. I don't know what I watched.

I might have watched some YouTube stuff whilst eating my breakfast, my ready break with some dried fruit on top and a cup of tea with no sugar. And it's kind of my favourite time of the day, in a way, because there's literally no sounds apart from me. I can never get enough of my own sounds because I'm a weirdo.

It's quite a nice time of the day. It just is. For me, it's quite peaceful.

You're never going to get people using power tools, generally, at four in the morning. And if they are, then, you know, it's going to be followed by a lot of problems, because most people are not going to be happy with that. So it generally doesn't happen.

And, yeah, it's quite nice to just sit here, have my breakfast, just watch a bit of TV. I don't, that dog won't shut up. If the dog's annoying you, then I'm sorry.

I can't do anything about it. It's, I can stop the recording, but literally it's going to be woofing, probably for the rest of the recording. Doesn't normally bark.

And unfortunately, there's no way in the world I'm going to close that window. It's way too hot to do that. I mean, earlier on, I went to the toilet and there was tomatoes growing out of my bum.

It was that hot. No, there wasn't. I'm going to shout out that window in a minute.

I said shout, not shat. Shout. I'm going to shout.

Stupid. Annoys me so much. I've never been so angry.

That used to be my catchphrase. Do you know that? About five, six, seven years ago. Never been so angry.

I need, one day I'm going to listen back to some of my older recordings, because I do not remember pretty much anything I've ever said. Once I said it, it's forgotten. I don't even remember what I've already said during this recording.

Because it's all just what do they call it flow of consciousness or whatever. It's just, I'm just saying whatever's in my mind. And then I move on to the next thing.

And sometimes I get distracted. Sometimes. Oh, yeah.

So, around about half past six. I think Vinnie was in here with me. And I had two options.

No, no, wait a minute. I actually got up and I edited. So I had my breakfast.

If the dog's annoying you, just turn it off. Honestly, turn the recording off. Because I can't do anything about it.

I'm not starting again. I'm just going to continue with the recording. It's, you know, if it was like once during the recording, I would edit it out.

But it's happened continuously. Doesn't normally happen so much. And it's quite an elderly dog.

And I think it must have, I don't know, there might be a cat on the fence just tormenting him. And cats do have a tendency to do that. And the dogs are outnumbered by cats here.

There's a lot of dogs, but there's way more cats. They're everywhere. Everywhere.

Not everywhere, but there's a lot of cats. There are a lot. And there's two in this block.

Two. Four. Four or five in the block next to us.

And that's just one building connected. So what's that? Four, two, four, five, six, seven cats just in one little bit. In one little building really.

Between 12 flats. Seven cats in 12 flats. I mean, it's quite a lot.

Isn't it Vinnie? It's quite a lot. Quite a lot of cats. I do like cats, but I wasn't allowed to have a cat when I moved in here.

I sounded like a proper victim then, didn't I? I wasn't allowed to have a cat. This is not fair. And I wasn't that bothered.

I never had a cat of my own really. I had a family cat when I was, what, eight, seven or eight years old. But I didn't really got to know it.

It wasn't close. As far as I remember, I don't know. It's such a long time ago.

But the council said not allowed to have cats. When I contacted them about having a pet, they said no cats because you can't let them out. First of all, you're not allowed to have a cat flat because it's a council door, council property.

And also, so you can't do that. Also, it'll be in the hallway because you're living upstairs. If you live downstairs, you can because you can open your window and let them come and go.

And you have to clean up after them. Because I live upstairs, I said, what if it's a little parachute? And they said, no, you're wasting our time. This is where you have time for serious conversations.

I said, okay, well, I said, go on. Then she said, well, well, he said, you can have a dog. You still have to get permission, but, and I did get permission, but you have to have a dog.

You can have a dog. The dog is allowed to go into the communal garden, but it has to be kept on a lead and you have to clean up after it. And which makes sense, you know, to do that, obviously.

So I said, okay. And that was the only rules, really. Oh, the other rules was if you do have a pet, regardless of what it is, really mainly aiming at dogs, I imagine.

I mean, I think it goes without saying that donkeys are not allowed. Donkeys, elephants, chimpanzees, things like that are probably frowned upon with a council. So I thought about getting a dog.

And they said, well, if you do get a dog, probably follow the rules. And the other rule is no complaints from neighbours. So if the neighbours complained that the dog is barking too much, making too much noise, then you'll have to get rid of the dog or move out.

And I remember thinking, I'll just get rid of the dog. I'm not moving out, am I? And then I got Vinnie. And now I'm thinking, yeah, I'd have to get rid of him, wouldn't I? Not moving out, hasn't changed.

No, I didn't. So I ended up getting a ferret anyway. So I did look at this dog.

I don't know if I told you this. I went to this dog shelter. Well, it wasn't a dog shelter.

It was a, there was lots of different animals there. But when I look at this, not Shih Tzu, Pomeranian, Pomeranian, beautiful little dog, but he didn't like me. It's a puppy, didn't like me, really didn't like me.

And I thought, no, because that was my, my little fantasy. Okay, it wasn't like a, okay, there's different types of fantasies, isn't there? I had a fantasy involving a dog, but it wasn't anything weird. It was just, I think it's probably for movies that I've seen, you know, where you go and see a little puppy in a cage and there's other dogs there, but this one particular dog runs towards you and you know that you've got a friend for life.

That didn't quite happen. It was more like, just, didn't want to, I took him for, I visited him twice, actually. But he didn't want to have anything to do with me.

I took him for a walk the second time. I took a friend with me, went for a walk all around the farm because this whole area was like farmland, but lots of different animals and stuff. No giraffes and no gorillas.

Yeah, no lions. I mean, he didn't have everything, that's what I'm saying, but it was just generally, some animals that you wouldn't normally have in a house as well, though, wasn't just like animal house, wasn't just house animals, like cats and dogs and gerbils and stuff like that. They might have had ferrets, I really don't know.

But I really was considering getting a dog. And it fell through and I thought, ah, and I didn't. I mean, I don't know if I, I don't, okay, I don't, part of me kind of regrets it in a sense of that would have been maybe a lovely thing to do, but at the same time, I wouldn't have got Andre because I don't think I would have got a ferret and a dog.

I don't think I would have had both. I don't, and even if I did, I'd have had to really keep Andre in the cage because I don't know what a dog and a ferret would be like and when I'm not around that is.

But generally, so one of the things I liked about having Andre is after, it wasn't straight away, but after the first couple of years, or the first year and a half, I don't know, he had complete, it, for the first couple of years, I don't, I don't, as soon as he woke up, in fact, I'd open the doors to his cage and he'd just still be asleep and then he'd get up and eventually come down and say hello and that was fine,

but then it got to the point where I just used to leave the cage doors open all the time and he used to go into the cage sometime and sleep there and then it got to a point where he hardly ever went into the cage at all and he had, how many different places did he have to sleep? So I'm just trying to think because this flat has changed a lot since then.

I moved things around, got rid of things. So he had, I had this little side cabinet, which was next to my chair, which was in a corner and it had a hole in it and he used to go in there. So he had bedding and everything in there.

So that's one place he used to go. He used to have a bed or nest or bed, whatever, behind the living room door. So when that was open, it was like open most of the time.

In fact, I didn't really use to close it much really back then. It's only really since I've had Vinnie that I've had to keep it closed most of the time because there is barking. He barks whenever anyone comes into the building or opens their front door, he barks.

So I have to keep him in here with me, which is a shame really. But you know, I just remember that rule, you know, if he disturbs the neighbours and they complain, that's not good for me or him. And then, so he had that over there.

He had, okay, he had his bag, his brown and green bag, which he used to sleep in as well. That's the bag I used to carry him around in if I took him into town or took him anywhere. So he used to sleep in there as well.

He used to sleep, he used to sleep on my bed. So he would be underneath the covers sometimes. And so I never really knew where he was.

So I couldn't just jump onto the bed, had to sort of make sure if he was on there or in there first. And he'd sleep in with the dirty washing, which was a bit grim, but he would, he'd basically hide in that. So he'd be in a heap of, whether it's towels, t-shirts and stuff, socks, and he'd be right in the middle.

I wouldn't even know he was there. He'd just, he'd be happy, just completely hidden away. I think he was just hiding from me.

Where else did he used to sleep? He used to sleep near the radiator in the kitchen. He used to sleep, I'm just thinking, so I used to have quite a few of them see-through tubes that he used to climb through. And sometimes he'd go to sleep in there.

When I had the shed, he used to sleep underneath the shed sometimes. I could never get to him. I think that's why he liked that.

When I actually took the shed apart, it was, there was so much stuff under there that he dragged under there. Honestly, it was like, wow, things I hadn't seen for many, many, many, many months. For example, I had a friend came around and I think it was a crunchy bar.

I don't think it was a big crunchy bar. I think it was a small crunchy bar, like a half one, but it might have been a full one. I'm not sure.

But anyway, I had mine. I was sitting at this point, I was sitting over there. I'm pointing towards the window area.

So that's where my table used to be and my chair behind there. And my black squeaky chair would still be in the corner. And my friend was sitting on there.

So it was someone that was visiting. He was good friends with my friend downstairs. So we were just having a chat.

I gave him, this, I don't know if it was a small, I think, I don't think it was a big one. I think it was a small, a small crunchy bar. One that you get in the tins, you know, the, well, they're not tins, they're like plastic round tubs.

Celebrate, is it with celebrations? I think they're called. So I gave him one, my friend and I had one myself. It might have been a full one, a big one.

That's not really relevant. But it's all I know is I'm eating mine. And my friend said, where's the crunchy bar gone? I said, I don't know.

Did you sit on it? He said, no. I'd feel it, wouldn't I? I'd feel it pushing against my, I said, okay, stop. So he gets up.

It wasn't under his bum. And it wasn't on the chair. Wasn't underneath the chair, wasn't by the sides of the chair.

I found out about a year and a half later, it was underneath the shed. Andre had stolen it and run off. He didn't eat it, didn't open it.

He just left it. He was a hoarder. He hoarded things, honestly.

Well, you know what a hoarder is? I'm about to explain what a hoarder is. But that's what he used to do. He used to hoard.

He used to just collect things that he didn't even want. The, my friend downstairs, he had a, a ferret as well. And he was the, I think he was like the uncle of Andre.

And he, there was a really bad smell coming from the bedroom. And my friend couldn't figure out where it was coming from. It was like really, really bad smell.

And in the end, he like got the bed up and there was nothing under the bed. But he saw that inside the bed, you know, you get like a boxed, that box bit at the bottom of the bed. And then there's like fabric and stuff.

Well, his ferret had managed to sort of find its way inside that box part. And inside there was a, a leg of lamb. A cooked leg of lamb, but a leg of lamb.

How, how do you even, how do you not notice a leg of lamb going missing was a question I had. I mean, how could you, how do you not notice that? And his ferret was quite a bit bigger than, than Andre. It was a, it was a polecat, but Andre was half polecat.

It was a ferret, but it was a polecat as well. It's the same species really. And it's weird because they both got on.

When, when Andre was a baby, Elle looked after him. Elle bossed him about, told him off and taught him how to be a ferret. Taught him, you know, basically just taught him what to do.

And as he got older, Elle got older and was like, you know, very elderly. Andre used to just try and pick on him. And at this point, all Elle wanted to do is just cuddle.

He just wanted to like gentleness, you know, and Andre wouldn't, couldn't give that to him because in the intervening years, they used to fight. Elle used to try and be dominant and Andre being younger, used to fight back and they'd have proper, proper full on fights. Never got hurt, but it was proper screaming and screeching and rolling around.

Never, honestly, no, never any injuries or anything. But they couldn't be left together because of that. They'd go for walks together on the lead.

So they'd both have a lead. My friend would have his one, I'd have my one. I'd have Andre, he'd have his ferret and they got on great when they were out together.

But as soon as they were together in a room, they'd fight each other. If left alone. But quite, you know, but other times they were fine.

It's just depended. I'm just thinking of times when I've got them on camera. I filmed them and they're just running along together and if they're distracted, if they've got distraction, they were, they got on really well.

But when there was nothing else to do and they were just looking at each other, that's when they used to kind of argue. The weird thing about it is Logie, my friend's dog, Logie, was absolutely petrified of Andre. And Andre was, well, Logie was a big dog.

Andre was a ferret, I mean, but Logie really didn't know what to do. He'd run away, honestly. And what Andre did is he'd sneak up on him when he was asleep and try and bite him.

And Logie, Logan, Logie, he was in a situation where he couldn't win because he couldn't, he couldn't attack back. He knew that he wouldn't be able to attack Andre because of who Andre was. He knew that Andre was, Andre was here first and he lived up here.

Logie loved coming up here but he was always wary of of Andre. And he didn't like El either. El didn't like him.

So dogs and ferrets don't always fit together particularly well. Just in that instance, I mean, I don't know, I'm, I am generalizing. But I kind of imagine the same would be with Vinnie and Andre, even though they're brothers, I kind of think that, especially his little hunter instinct, a little furry animal, I don't know.

And Andre was way tougher than Vinnie. Like, there's a, there's a tough, ferrets have got a toughness that, it exceeds their size by so much. I don't know, it's like a complete fearlessness that they have.

It's weird, but he was funny. I don't know why I'm talking about Andre, but just, why, how did I, what got me talking about that little fella? I don't know. Who knows? I was sort of, I think it's, yeah, I was looking at my, I've still got him as my screensaver on my phone, I think.

Yeah. Oh, that's it. Facebook came up with a memory from seven years ago.

And there was a picture of, I think there was a picture of Andre and possibly Logie. Or maybe Andre just on his own. But it was kind of like, okay, that's the thing with Facebook every now and then, like a memory, they call them memories, and they, here's a memory from five years ago.

Do you remember when you had hair? Remember Jay? Remember when you had hair? Like, come on, stop it. Although I did mention this the other day, I took a picture at the top of my head in 2020. I think, and yeah, it was, or maybe 2021.

Eeeh. So yeah, perhaps I shouldn't focus on it too much, but there seems to be something different from shaving my head to being bald. It's weird, even if the same results there.

This just seems to be different. It feels different. I've got a friend who, he literally cleans on to the remaining hairs on his head.

He'd really, he'll go to the hairdressers and although he's practically bald all the way through the top, got some hairs at the sides and that, but he would have them trimmed, but he won't, he'll still let them, leave them long. I never understood that until now. I started looking at my hairs in the, in the mirror and I started naming them.

They've become pets. Almost family, really. I've got one particular hair and seriously, it's so far ahead of the rest of my hairline.

There's probably about an inch, maybe an inch, maybe a little bit more between that hair and the rest of my hair. And it's just still there. Peter, I call that one, Peter.

So I'm just going to see what happens really. I mean, I remember like when I was, what, 18? It was a summer, 1989, and I would spend absolutely ages making my hair look however it ended up looking. Because I had thick, curly hair.

I didn't like the curly bit. So I was trying to straighten it out a bit. And it was, you know, I'd, I'd be doing, what was I doing? Canvassing for double glazing.

So I'd be knocking on people's doors. So I'd, you know, I'd go to bed. I don't know, 11, 10, 11, wake up midnight, midday rather.

So I'd have like 12 hours, maybe longer in bed, get up, have a bath or a shower, wash my hair. And I'd spend about sometimes like an hour doing my hair. I'd have foam, so much foam in my hair to try and make it look good.

And hair dryer, of course. And it was just, I just spent absolutely ages doing it. And then maybe gel afterwards to try and keep it in place.

And I tell you the weird thing about it is when I started growing my hair and I had my hair long, I put no effort into it. And if I had, I might still have long hair, although I don't know what kind of mess it would be in now. But if I'd have sort of put a bit of effort in, I did use conditioner, I used, you know, shampoo and conditioner and all that stuff.

I tried to look after it, but at the same time, I didn't put any straightener in it. I didn't use foam. I could have made it look really quite smart.

And all it was was, although no one ever complained about it, it is very, it went down to the middle of my back. And by that, what I mean is even when it's short, it goes down to the middle of my back. That's my hairline.

No. So when I'm having a ponytail, it went down back to the middle of my back and it was, you could see it was curly. It wasn't straight.

It looks straight when it's wet. When it was wet, it definitely looked quite straight-ish. But then as soon as I took the ponytail out or off, it would just spring out.

Literally, it just like pretty much just fill the whole room, touch the ceiling, the sides, everything. Because it was, it was weird. So that what my hair is like, or how my hair used to be.

Anyway, I don't think it's quite like that now. What's left of it? I don't know. I mean, I don't really let it grow too long these days.

Recently, I've been trimming it twice a week, but I don't, yeah, I could get a little bit curly at the sides and at the back and at the front as well. And as it grows, it can get curly all over, but it takes a while. I did think about maybe growing it long just to see, you know, just have a little look, see what it ends up like as a joke, really.

A joke on myself or a joke on the mirror, just to see what it would come up like. But the reality is, I mean, the reality, reality is I would, you know, the back of my hair is very thick, curly. The side of my hair, very thick.

The front of my hair, I've got hair there, but you know, there's gaps, there's little islands being created. And then there's the crown, which is bald, but there's a little bit of fuzz on there. It's a little bit, it reminds me of my beard when I was about 14.

That's what, yeah, maybe not 18 probably to be fair. And if I did grow really long, all I'd be doing was covering up the bald patch, wouldn't I? I'd be trying to cover up the front bald patch. I wouldn't be able to really avoid the recedation, because that's going to be even more obvious, I guess, if I got my hair pulled back.

But yeah, I think if anything, when it gets longer, the longer my hair gets, the more bald I seem to look, because the hair, it just, I don't know, for some reason, it just seems to show. It's almost like little pointers, little arrows. Look at me, look at me, baldy.

Like, what? I don't know why. When it's short, it doesn't seem to, I mean, from my own perspective, looking in the mirror, it doesn't seem to be as noticeable. But then I can only see from my perspective how other people that are taller than me looking down my head, which is most people, to be fair, might see me as being a bit, maybe a little bit follically challenged, potentially.

I don't know. I'm not really, I really shouldn't be that bothered. Not, not really.

It's not making a huge, a huge difference to my life. I just, you know, you know what I mean? Just sometimes, yeah, it'd be nice to, I don't know if I'd want really thick, curly hair like I used to have, if it was gray. So, you know, I've got grays, but I do have a lot of dark hair still.

It's kind of, I got nothing, I got no issue with gray hair. I don't, it's natural, isn't it? It's, the way I see it, you know, I'm 54 years old. I'm doing all right for my age, I think, generally.

I don't look too bald. For my age, nearly 55 in two months. Yeah, I won't, I won't be nearly 55 in two months.

Well, I will actually, because in two months, it will be the 19th of August. And then another exactly a week from then will be my birthday. Because the 19th of August is also an important day, family-wise.

So, it's quite, quite strange. Me and my three brothers all had our birthdays within, just over, within five weeks, within a five-week period. So, starting in August to September.

But all within that, I mean, there's what, three within one week. That's a lot, isn't it? Luckily for me, I only had to buy two presents because I was one of them. Yeah, I wonder what I want.

What are you all going to get me this year for Christmas, for my birthday? 26th of August, I'll be 55. What are you going to get me? I don't really want a Lamborghini. Not really.

I mean, of course, if someone bought me a Lamborghini, I'm not going to say, I don't want that. I'd much rather a hot dog. No, of course I'm not.

But I can't drive. I'm not allowed to drive, not on my medication because it causes drowsiness. And, yeah, I don't know.

A house, that'd be cool. I don't want much, do I? Well, we were thinking maybe a gift voucher for £3.50, so you can buy yourself a packet of sweets. Not a house, a house.

Yeah, a house. I don't know. Oh, I did the lottery this week.

I have not done the lottery for years and years and years. Okay, it wasn't that long ago, but it was, from a regular basis, it's been decades. Yeah, I mean, when the lottery started in 1995, huge deal.

It was such a big thing. Never been in this country before, and like, wow. And I think they had the lottery results.

Was it before or after Gladiators? Contestants, are you ready? Gladiator, are you ready? And I think it was maybe before, maybe after. Because I think before Gladiators, it was Superman and Lewis or Baywatch. Possibly Baywatch.

Not 100%. Possibly, it might be one of those situations where Superman and Lewis was on, and then when their season ended, Baywatch came on. That's that same time slot.

Because I'm pretty sure they're all on the same side, ITV. But I might be wrong. Yeah, I used to watch Baywatch.

I was just interested in beaches. I went through a period when I became very interested in lifesaving, especially on beaches. Never really been that interested before until I saw a clip of the show.

By accident, I was just, you know, just skipping through the channels, all four of them. And it's true, it's four channels. Well, for skipping through all the four channels didn't take long.

In fact, I probably did because I had to keep getting up and turning it over. So there's no remote control. And I saw Baywatch and I thought, I suddenly become completely obsessed with lifesaving, especially on a beach.

And I watched it right from the beginning. So I don't think Pamela Anderson was even in it at the right from the start. I don't think she was.

I preferred the one that was in it right at the start. I preferred her. I mean, as she just seemed to be much better at her job.

That's what I mean. Well, that's what I mean. Yeah, that's, that's exactly what I meant.

She, she was also in George Seagal, George Seagal, Seagal, George Seagal. And that show where he was that movie where he was on a boat, and it was a chef. I can't remember the name, but she jumped out of a cake.

And I think she, she's really good at making cakes as well. That's when I got really interested in people that jumping out cakes. Maybe it's my sweet tooth.

Maybe it's because Vinnie's just done a massive fart. Wow. How can you not know he's done that? The whole room is green, honestly.

Oh, like a mist. So he's laying on right next to me, but his head's right flopped down off of the settee. I don't know how he's comfortable doing that.

But I think as I'm holding him, I'm not holding him, I've got my arm on him. Perhaps he feels that, you know, he's not going to slip down because I'll stop him. Which I would if I knew he was going to do it, but got something.

That's a very loud gate. Did you hear that? Very loud. Very loud indeed.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

Baywatch. Yeah, I used to like some of the stories. And David Hasselhoff was my favourite, of course.

I just, you know, he was, I guess he was a role model for me. I did wonder why, because, you know, sometimes he'd be, you know, running, trying to catch someone. And I think, well, why don't you use your car? Why don't you call Kit to come and get you? You know, he'd be stranded in the middle of nowhere.

Call Kit. Kit will come and get you. My dad sat me down one day and said, look, it's a different show.

I said, what are you talking about, Daddy? He said, don't do that. Okay, sorry. And I was like, what do you mean? It's a different show.

It's the same actor, but it's a different show. I said, yeah, it's David. It was Mitch, David Mitch.

He said, no, David, it's David in Nightrider. No, it's Nightrider in Nightrider. No, that's not his name.

And his name is Mitch in the new TV show. I said, no, it's not. It's Baywatch.

No, his name's not Nightrider and Baywatch. It is. It's not.

It doesn't make sense. So where's Kit? Kit was for Nightrider. It's okay.

I'll give you another example. Do you know, okay, Bobby Ewing and the man from Atlantis? Yeah. Yeah.

Two different characters. I said, not necessarily twins. It's the same person.

I said, no, I didn't say my dad said no. Two different people. One is the man from Atlantis and one is JR. Not JR, Bobby Ewing, sorry.

Not JR Ewing. Bobby, JR's brother, Bobby. I said, but no, he lives underwater.

And my dad said, but he doesn't, does he? Look, he clearly doesn't live underwater when he's Bobby Ewing. I said, yeah, but he's not underwater the whole time when he's a man from Atlantis either. And my dad said, how many people listening to your recording will even know what references you're referring to? The man from Atlantis, Nightrider.

I mean, a lot of people won't get this. You're, you're potentially alienating your audience. I said, you're alienating the audience.

He said, that doesn't make sense, Jason. I said, are we talking about Willis? He did laugh at that one. He, I don't know why.

I think I might have, I kind of did quite a good impression back then. I used to like doing impressions. One of my best impressions I did when I was nine, maybe 10.

I used to watch the Kenny Everett show, my favorite show. And I would do all the different characters that Kenny Everett would do. So one was called Sid Snotair.

So he'd have like, basically dressed as a punk, Sid Snotair. And then another one, he did this American, I think she was an actress or musician, but she, or he would do it, but she'd like put her legs over like, and say, or done in the best possible taste. So I do that one.

And that's it really, I don't, I can't remember any others that I would do. But I would, I spent ages doing them. Didn't always go down too well.

Not all, because you know, whenever I saw relatives, uncles, aunts, I'd do my impressions. And sometimes they'd ask me to do the impressions. Other times I'd just do the impressions.

Wasn't always welcome. Yeah. I remember one of them, my uncle was saying, well, you know, we don't get together that well, that often, all the family together.

But maybe you can wait until after the wedding service before you start with the impressions. We laughed. I remember my uncle, well, my auntie's husband, I got on really well with him.

I have not seen him for decades, really. But I used to get on really well with him. And when he got married, he actually, because we went to the wedding, I went to the wedding and he winked at me.

I felt special. I don't know, it's weird. I just, I felt like, oh, I was acknowledged.

And he was just walking towards the, I don't know, I think he was just about to walk towards the altar and he winked. And it was nice. I was about 21, I think, 22.

And it was nice, like, oh, this is cool. I don't know, I can't explain it. It just felt nice that he, on such a big day, he took just a second to kind of say hello to me.

So I hadn't seen him that day. I didn't really know him that well, but he was a really nice bloke. He still is a really nice bloke.

I like him a lot. I haven't seen him really to talk to for probably since, even then I didn't really have much to talk to him, really much conversation, but that was 10 years ago. Although we did spend Christmas together at my nan's, him, my auntie and my uncle.

I call him my uncle, but he's my auntie's husband. And I was there and we all spent the Christmas together in my nan's house. And that was good.

I don't know, I just always thought it was quite, you know, when you meet someone and they're just cool, they're like, okay, I like this person. They're chilled out, just a nice person. That's what he was.

He still is, I'm sure, but that's how I felt when I was around him. It was just quite nice to see him. It was a pleasure.

It's not that I was looking forward to see him. I wouldn't stay up all night like, oh, I can't wait, can't wait. Oh, is it time to go out yet? No.

Is it time to get up yet? No. Yeah, I wasn't like up all night, kept looking at the clock. Oh, is it time to go yet? I want to see my uncle.

No, it wasn't quite like that, but it was nice to see him. Yeah. I didn't write poems.

I'm saying it was just, he was a nice bloke. He was my, I mean, my actual biological uncles had very little to do with me. Just hardly had a conversation with either of them, really.

Yet my step uncle, who was my step mum's brother, he was so nice, lovely. And both my aunt's husbands, I had two different husbands, both of them have been really nice. My uncle's wife's nice as well.

She's funny. They've been together probably as long as I've been alive. Wow.

Last time I saw her, I think it was 10 years ago. I think maybe five years ago, but I think it's 10 years ago. But maybe five, because there was a birthday party in two, there's a lot of six years, 2019 in August, there was a birthday party and there was quite a few families, family peoples there.

And I think, did I stay over? I don't even remember. I can't, it's such a long time ago, I can't remember if I stayed over or not. I might have done.

I just don't remember. I'm not sure. Hmm.

Oh, well. So today I've got a delivery, got some food delivered. And yeah, I made a recording.

So I did a deep sleep, whisper hypnosis recording. And then later on, I did a relaxation for stress and anxiety recording. And then later on, I did, I know, what's going on.

Later on, I did another one, which was a, let me pull your phobia away. And now I'm doing this one. So I think this is the fourth recording I've done today, which is more recordings.

Yeah, probably more recordings than I've done for a long time in one day. I didn't sit out today with the intention of making lots and lots and lots of recordings. It's just the way it's kind of ended up.

Yeah. And there's no, there's no pressure on me to do it. It's just, you know, not just, just chitty chatting, you know, just talking.

Maybe with these ones, you know, let me boil the sleep. It's just, there wasn't really any agenda. There's no particular thing I'm focusing on unless I'm doing the Q&A Friday, or if I'm doing the Monday's Boring Objects, or the Tuesday's Trivia Tuesday.

So those three days is more focused in a way. But the rest of the days is not Whisper Wednesdays, just me just whispering, doing the same thing as this, but whispering. Thursday's just another normal one.

Saturday and Sunday, just normal ones as well. I'm sure I called it chit chat Sunday or something the other day last week. I don't know.

Was it Saturday chit chat, Sunday chit chat, chit chat? I don't know. I can't actually remember. So I guess the plan now is when I finish this recording and upload it, I'll send it to the iPad, then I'll, then I will edit it, or rename it, edit it and make all the different six versions, upload them, make an image, and then share it on Facebook.

And then that's done. Although I haven't uploaded the last recording I did up to SoundCloud yet. So that's something I need to look into.

Yeah, I can do that at the same time as uploading or editing the other stuff because once I've, once I've edited the initial recording, the rest is fairly simple. Just a little time consuming, that's all. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm trying to think what else I've done today. So I took him out this morning. And because it's been so hot, all I've done is take him into the garden for a wee wee a little while ago.

And I will take him out probably for another walk in about an hour. Because it'll be cooler by then. It's just been, I didn't want him to be too uncomfortable, you know.

He's been asleep most of the day. I think the heat does get to him a bit. Just makes him tired, which it does to me as well.

Really? Yeah. Other than that, not really much else going on. I tried to redirect my website domain name.

So it's jasonnewland.com to my podcast page, which has all my podcasts from Spreaker. And I just couldn't figure out how to do it, even though I asked for help. I asked ChatGBT to go through the process and everything I did, or nothing I did worked.

So I ended up earlier on today contacting my domain name provider, the domain name being jasonnewland.com that I've had for 20 odd years. And asked them, just please, can you do it for me? Can you redirect it to this address? The idea being, if you put in jasonnewland.com, it will take you to the Spreaker podcast page and you can go through all of them and just pick whatever podcast you want to choose.

Because I've got the domain name, I paid for the domain name for a year and I will never give that domain name up.

So I'll be keeping hold of that forever, really, as much as I can. Which makes me start to think, I wish I'd, I wish I still had my website, but hey, let's just move on from that. Oh no, my website's gone.

No. Anyway, it doesn't matter. It really does not matter.

So, on that note, I'm going to go, what? Why am I feeling the urge to eat something? I don't know what. What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what could I eat? I don't know, I'll find something. So thank you for listening.

Tomorrow is Q&A Friday. So if you do have any questions, please leave me a question on my Jason Newland's Boring Group, or you can just leave me a message anywhere. I'll try and sort of add it on.

And remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy. And be gentle with yourself. You deserve to feel safe.

Lots of love. Bye.