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Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name's Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.
Ah, a bit of water. I've got the door open to the living room and the windows open in the, well, the windows open. It would be pointless me telling you the windows open in the bathroom because that's not going to affect the noise here.
But yeah, the windows open here so there's a chance the old Vinnie will bark. Again, it's not really much point me telling you that because I'm going to edit it out anyway. But there might be some other background sounds.
You know, I realised, did I say only listen when you can safely close your eyes? The only thing I realised today, I was talking to someone in the park. You know, we're doing the W A L K I N G E I N G E L Vinnie. And I noticed I was stuttering over my words with this person and I didn't know what to say to them.
I don't generally have that problem when I make these recordings. I mean, to be fair, I never run out of words when I do these recordings. So I wonder what it is.
Yeah, I don't know. I'm not going to go through what's happened this week. Or shall I? Shall I go through what's happened this week? It today is Sunday, the 2nd of February.
No, 2nd of March. I like March because it's the easiest one to spell. 2nd of March 2025.
It's 15.50pm. And it's sunny outside. It's been sunny all day. And I've spent a lot of the day in bed.
Not a lot of the day, just last couple of hours. Just listening to Bob Dylan. I mean, his music, not him.
Listening to Bob. But I love, I don't know if people used to make fun of his voice. Like, oh, he's got such a horrible voice.
He's so great in me. I love Bob Dylan's voice. I don't know.
I just love his voice. He's got such a great voice, just singing. I mean, no one else, I've never heard anyone else that sounds like him.
Yeah, the old pigeons are going. I wonder what they're communicating. It's got to be weird talking to them because they're a bit repetitive.
Unless there's variations in tempo, or there might be sounds that we can't hear that birds can hear. I don't know. I suppose they have to have different sounds, don't they, all the birds, because there's so many of them.
All kind of talking at the same time, trying to reach each other with their voices, all sitting in a big tree. You know, like 20 different varieties of bird, I've not counted them, just guessing. Which is weird, I can hear the birds, but I can't see them.
And you may say, well, look out the window. No, I don't mean that. I'm looking at the tree because it's a huge tree outside.
Most trees are outside, but that one there, big. And it's bare because there's no leaves or anything at the moment. Actually, there is.
Isn't it weird how even though 99.9% of all the leaves are gone, a couple still hang on, don't they? They're still hanging on. They won't give up. The thing is, are they preventing the new leaves from coming through? Hmm, that's a controversial thing, isn't it? You're holding up the, you need to just let go so that the young ones can come.
Come on, you're in the way. No, I've just retired. I don't want to stick around.
When that leaf is brown, so it's, you know, it's not quite good. It's colour back that it used to have, but it seems happy. I'm looking at it.
I can't see it very well because to be fair, without the glasses, I wouldn't be able to see the tree. But this, I can see this leaf. It's just there.
It's not moving. They rarely dance to be honest, but you know, there's no wind on me. It's just there.
It seems quite content. It's in a good position so you can see over the fence as well as over our fence. Probably see into the windows of the top flats.
I'm expecting to see it like pulling out some binoculars. That would be weird though, wouldn't it? I'm not really sure what's gone on this week in my life. I know what's gone on, you know, on the television in my life.
It's my life. It's my life. I'm trying to think, you know, sometimes I just like it to be nice outside, even if I'm not out there.
It's just nice to go out for, you know, because I have to take him out a few times a day. It's just, it's a bit more pleasant just to have this bit of sunniness. Yeah.
Oh yeah, yes, last night, boxing was on in the evening and also early hours of the morning as well because it was in America as well as being in Ireland. So I started watching the one in Ireland and I just realised that I struggle to maintain interest in boxing, in the fights, if I don't know anything about the people, anything about the boxers. And that's what was on last night.
Okay, is it true? Yeah, yeah, there was no, I don't know, there might have been someone on there that I knew about, but generally, I didn't know there wasn't, there was no one on there, didn't know anyone. And maybe that's because I've been spoilt lately with the huge fights that have been on and they've been run by Riyadh season in America, in the UK, in Dubai. It's, I mean, I think they've got one in Mexico as well coming up, or they might have had one in Mexico last year.
So they're spreading, I think maybe one in Australia. So there's these big, big events where they're not all like huge, where you've got like multiple title fights, like five, six world title fights. But they're all got known people on and maybe a couple of world title fights and the undercards.
See, can you hear that in the garden? Sorry about that. But even the undercards interesting. I just had to go and close the window and close the door.
There's a lot of screaming in the garden. I don't know how much you can hear on here. But I know that I can hear it and Vinnie can hear it.
It's, it's the people that talk really close. They're like inches away from each other, but they're shouting. It's kind of a weird, weird thing.
I mean, I suppose it might just be the inability to judge. Because some people can't judge distance, can they? I know someone that I've known people in the past, they'll speak to me, but they'll be literally like so close, and they don't realise that they're that close to me. And until I blow on them, and then they realise, oh, I think I'll step back a few yards.
As if you're eating garlic again. But they don't know distance and some people can't, don't seem to be aware of volume. I've known a few, I've known people like that.
And it's like so loud. Can you not hear the difference in volume? Because I'm not particularly a loud person. I can be.
But I'm not, you know, if I shout, the whole world can hear it. I'm a loud shouter. If I shout, I don't shout.
But occasionally when I have to, once Vinnie was running out of the park with another dog, this is in the days where I could let him off the lead, can't anymore. And he ran off with another dog. And the other owner was there looking what we're going to do because we're running towards the road, which is something that he'd never done before.
I don't know if he was going to go to the pet shop or whatever. Come on, don't matter about them, just ignore them. And I shouted.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. I might have said a naughty word.
And he stopped. The other dog started running back before he did. The lady next to me, aged about 10 years.
I didn't know I was going to shout that loudly. but everyone heard and they both ran back Vinnie was on his on his back like being all submissive I just wanted him not to run in the road that's all you know not too much to ask but generally I don't I'm not a shouter I like to conserve my voice that's not really I guess I'm not just yeah I'm just not sure some people shout is some people aren't I'm not shower no I'm a kind of moaner I do moan my
Vinnie a bit too much sometimes just like can you stop barking shut up stop it and that's there's only two reasons three reasons there's only three three sorts different scenarios no four different scenarios four different scenarios where my five five different scenarios five different scenarios where Vinnie barking is my six six different scenarios where Vinnie's barking is a little bit of a problem and the first one is because of the neighbors downstairs I don't want him barking too and I've only got one set of neighbors that he can disturb when
he's inside the flat with me only only one that can really be affected by him you can hear it in the hallway but you can't hear any other flats and he's never barking for long so it's not really a huge issue but I got very well with my neighbors downstairs that are directly below me and I'm directly above them yeah I'm above them and he only they don't seem to be bothered and he gets on really well with him he loves him but I just like okay that's the thing and
at night especially at night or early hours of the morning you know the other one is when I'm asleep that's what he in some ways that's the biggest one because he did it today this morning he woke me up about four o'clock by barking or five o'clock four o'clock in the mornings between four and five and he was barking and he jumped off the bed and I don't think he was trying to wake me up in a sense of it might have been he might have been poking at me for
half an hour trying to get me up I don't know but it seemed like he heard something that kind of disrupted him to be barking so I get up and there's no one at the door there's no there's no sounds I can hear so those two reasons then the third one would be in the hallway so when we're making our way outside from where I live so we go for the front door I close the front doors close the front door quietly because this chairs is creaky in my spine always
close the door quietly but I realize I might be doing that with a little bit of anger in me because I've got two neighbors that don't they let the doors slam downstairs and it's unnecessary I think and again it's like they can't hear it maybe they can't hear it but it shakes the building and the hallway is very echoey really echoey I don't quite maybe all hallways are echoey like communal hallways in blocks of flats when I say that I wish I could live to be like 500 years old just
like how cool would it be to still be here in 500 years and just talk about the changes and I don't know why it is sometimes when I think about I don't know why it's the hallway that makes you think of this there it reminds me that I've lived here for 10 years and I was 44 years old when I moved in and I'm gonna be 55 years old at the end of August and I'm not heading in any kind of good direction this is like oh I wanted I had
it this earlier in a week or two weeks ago I had this real thought I thought you know what if I could set up a membership and just have one pound or a month from people to it's basically just to support me it wasn't even about listening to old recordings or anything it's just it's just a way to support me but this is my thinking if I did that then over time it would grow over time you know maybe because I'd need at least at least 2,000 just to break even
like and live and everything like that because of all the expenses and running of this thing so I'd need a couple of thousand and just to just to sort of cover my living costs and all that stuff the running costs of the podcasts the equipment and things like that but over time going forward it might you know might reach 10,000 subscribers and then hopefully won't take too long so I won't have to wait in the worst case scenario I'll have a good pension so when I retire I will be able
to travel and continue doing this but do it in a like go on a cruise and just travel around and take my take my recorder with me and just record myself and do these every day and just continue and actually have an interesting enjoyable lifestyle with something to look forward to so that I thought that would be cool that was the worst not worst case scenario but that was as far as the membership thing goes I was thinking okay so if it takes because I'm 55 now I can retire I
think when I'm 68 in fact it's not a case of I will be forced to retire even though I could technically I'm not working but so that might sound like a weird idea but the whole financial the whole financial situation changes once I hit 68 so it would be it shouldn't be that way but it might be financially more difficult for me so it seems like a good idea to because I've got no private pension and I don't know what the health care is going to be like in those you
know come out at that time so literally it's only 13 years away 13 and a half years away I mean blimey really 55 65 6 6 6 7 68 that's over seven years away so it's like it's moved so quick and that was where I was with the membership it wasn't like oh I want to be rich I know I'll get a pound a month from millions of people because I know there's not millions of people out there they're gonna want to listen to me not the moment definitely not there's
I say it's hard to judge to be fair but there's a few few thousand dip in and out probably a few thousand different people listen regularly on a weekly basis maybe 10 thousand people out there that listen occasionally and there might be a I don't know I mean it regularly what once a week is quite regular isn't it I mean a lot of podcasts are only weekly anyway there's probably I'd say maybe 500 up to a thousand people that listen daily to my recordings but there's you know those people that
maybe listen every few months or maybe only listen to a recording that's relevant to what they need at that time so yeah it wasn't about like being rich I'm already rich in my pants I'm not you know it wasn't about that but it felt quite nice while I was doing it while I was preparing this thinking I can actually have a lifestyle I could have I know I can't really go away and leave Finny although I do have something set up for that his best friend Archie I spoke to his
mum and she said that she'd look after him for a week or something if I needed to go away somewhere and I'd chuck her a few quid or whatever for it but he'd love it Vinnie would absolutely love being with those two dogs he'd love it absolutely love it he'd be happy all day long I think because he's really close to Archie they've got a real well actually the other dog as well they all like each other but Archie's the one who he used to run around in the park with
but now I can't let can't let him off the lead anymore so we can't do that anymore so I was just yeah it's not that I've got the travel bug it's just because I know what I do is boring and it's you know it's supposed to be boring and all that stuff but I think I have a little bit more to talk about when I've actually done something you know it's like I've been imagined how I just think the stories would be that the podcast would improve if I was talking
about getting ready to go somewhere and booking the cruise and then what the cruise are going to be like and wondering what it's going to be like and then getting ready to travel and packing and and then traveling and each day doing a podcast talking about what's happened on that day and flight delays or you know ferry delays you know just not finding it hard to having to keep avoiding all the women that are after me and just keep falling in love with me and it's yeah so you know just
it might be interesting and I could start doing the weird courses like little courses and on board I don't know like dancing and just I could just be interested an interesting way to spend my these are my twilight I hope this is not my twilight years but you know I don't I suppose after the ages of 70 that is maybe twilight years I don't personally feel that's an offensive word but maybe it is it's not not to me but I'm not 70 I'm 50 hmm and I still got a way
to go before I get to 70 so I don't know what these years are but I definitely I think it'd be nice to be able to do stuff I mean even while I've got Vinnie here I could travel around the country and stay in hotels that are dog friendly or you know things like that they're all over the country and I could just it just could be cool visit the different places because we've got lots of lovely places around here you know on this bit of land I'm living on and
then maybe move to Europe not move to Europe but like travel to Europe and I don't know if you're allowed to take pets across the ferry I don't know what the rules are there as I suppose you can take him on a day trip can you can you let's have a look can I take my moggy moggy that's a cat isn't it not dog my dog can I take my Vinnie yeah I wonder if they'll know what I mean on a ferry to Belgium traveling by ferry with your pet available
from 96 hours before your departure simply log in with your Brittany ferries account details and you can get instant confirmation whether your pets travel documents is a tation documentation is a valid to travel how to travel with pets to Belgium pet import regulations okay no I'm not relocating come on they've actually got a website for people relocating to Belgium I'm not saying that it wouldn't be a great place I'm why people think that I've got an issue of Belgium I love Belgium it's just whenever I say something it sounds like
I'm having to go to Belgium and I'm not generally I'm not I think Belgium's lovely it was the first foreign weird kind of foreign country that I ever went to in my life the first and I went there by ferry been there at least three times and probably one of the most exciting the best three days out yeah probably three of the best days okay it's hard to say of my life but it back then it would have been three of the best days of my life back then before I'd
been to a you know a real country see I can't stop myself you know I'm just joking behind me get your own language and so yeah I was just first time I went to Belgium was with the family and the sea was really really choppy and I'm not sure if we were even able to get off the ferry I'm pretty sure they might have even turned back got there and turned back but I didn't care see I wasn't affected by it that's a bit rude isn't it my stepmom was very
ill she wasn't wasn't good with boats I was not affected by boats never have been just like it's a little bit like being on a ride you know rides a dip or going up and down a hill was like it it yeah it affects your tummy but it didn't it didn't affect me in any kind of way and I wasn't scared either because I was a little bit because I think she was going on to the you know I wasn't scared to be fair things I didn't scare me when I
was a kid and the second time we went I think it was better weather and I'm surprised that my dad got her back on a ferry knowing that she's she she was gonna be ill and she I think she was still ill as well and if anything I think it's probably a bit cruel on her wasn't it she just like just do something different there's other ways to travel I don't have to go on a ferry but yeah I wouldn't go on a ferry if it was having that effect on
me mind you I didn't used to like flying I said I love it I don't I don't dream about it and wake up a big smile on my face holding a donut but I do I'm alright with it I'm not that bothered anymore the ferries I love ferries I love by the way if you don't know what ferry is it's like a ship and it goes floats on the water it you might not call them ferries where you live there I mean stay almost cruise ships really but they're not they're
just ferries they're not you know but they still have restaurants and bars and all that stuff cinema one of the ones had a cinema or two in fact I think I went to the cinema twice but the other one was when I was going to Ireland so I've been on one including the return journeys I've been to Belgium one two one two one two so it's six journeys three journeys to Belgium but six six six actual journeys then I went to Ireland and back twice so six seven eight nine ten
journeys and then I travelled to the Isle of Man and back 11 12 there's 12 12 ferry journeys I've done and I've liked most of them the one I didn't enjoy was the journey to the Isle of Man because the whole day took too long I was stuck in the back of a car for so long as we traveled from where my dad lives or where I was picked up where I lived going all the way to Liverpool and then a ferry was delayed we went to Blackpool and it was
a windiest day in history my nan got stuck inside a public toilet one of those mini mini toilet things and it blew away well that was funny but other than that it was she didn't I didn't blow away with it she did get stuck in a port a cabin port a potty there's a port a cabin and she couldn't get out she's still there yes that's 20 years 21 years now hope she's alright so I we by the time we got onto the ferry and we were going to be traveling
all night we should have got the ferry in the afternoon that was what the ferry was but and we left off early hours of the morning like 6 in the morning or something and I think we were supposed to get there about left about two o'clock in the afternoon and be there and whatever well because of all the delays because of the high winds this is in 2004 in the summer we ended up traveling overnight so when we eventually got onto the ferry was not busy at all it's a very
quiet ferry I mean it wasn't quiet it was made a lot of noise but the people wasn't a lot of people and my dad my stepmom my nan was sitting there and I said to them bye and I walked off and I found another part of ferry to go to sleep I had to get away from them I could not stand being near them anymore I just I'd had enough of the just the day was too long and I was listening to people talking all day long and I was just
and I needed to get away and yeah and that was during my yeah I was going through a few issues at the time as well so I just needed to get away I was okay I mean I tried to sleep didn't get much sleep on the ferry got on the Isle of Man went straight to sleep when I got to me auntie's that's where we were staying and I stayed in a room which was full of trains well a train station no there was a room it was like the you
know the toy trains that some adults like to play with so I that was where I was sleeping but I had a nice sleep it was nice well I think I could have I could have slept yeah I think I could have slept on a hammock which was facing three or four elephants all farting in my direction I probably wouldn't have heard it I was so sleepy and my voice is going and then when I woke up I was awake and I was okay I just needed to get that back
you know get my get my equilibrium returned sort of just trying to think what the ferries to Ireland were overnight as well but I chose that I'm fine to travel overnight it it's perfect for me it was back then I'm out traveled overnight I was like ten years earlier and you know 94 not yet 94 95 whatever so I was happy with that being up all night it was something I could do easily it's just yeah up all night and up all day a couple of hours sleep in between didn't
need anything else not all the time but you know sometimes not every day but some days and that was cool I enjoyed that trip and I'm pretty sure I went to the cinema yeah I went to the cinema on the one traveling from England or I think it was Wales actually from Wales to Ireland to Amsterdam as well did I mention Amsterdam oh I forgot about that so I've traveled from to Belgium three times and then I traveled to Isle of Man now I traveled to Ireland twice so that's going
back in there and back twice so that's four journeys on a man once but two journeys going down back and then I need to put me in the right order Amsterdam was before the Isle of Man so Amsterdam was about two thousand and 2003 November roughly and that was a ferry there and a ferry back so what's that three three four three I went to I went to oh I went to France as well I forgot about France so that's two ferries as well okay let's go back so my childhood
three times to to Belgium and then 1989 I went to France so again that's two ferries the one there and one back so I went to France and that was 1989 and then 1994 went to Ireland then 1994 went to Ireland again 1989 1995 went to Ireland again and then in 2003 I went to Amsterdam in 2004 I went to the I haven't been on a ferry since so it's like 21 years I love ferries so let's check that is how many says how many countries is that is the Isle
of Man a country I don't know it's an island I don't know if it's a country so Belgium France Ireland Isle of Man no Amsterdam then the Isle of Man there's five different places I went to Belgium three times Ireland twice did I do did I do France France Belgium France and then Amsterdam Isle of Man I missed one out Belgium France Ireland that's it okay no Belgium France yeah Ireland Isle of Man Amsterdam and Isle of Man so it's five different places but quite a few different journeys and I
like ferries so I suppose what I'm trying to say is the idea of being on a cruise actually appeals to me the only problem I could think of because I like to think of problems because it's useful yeah okay and is that going to be anywhere quiet for me to make a podcast for me to make a recording and I say podcast but in you know five ten years time it might not be called podcast anymore it might have a different name for it it might just be a case of
who knows whatever the whatever the new technology is I will just be doing it on that I guess but will it will there be a I've never been on a quiet ship so but at the same time I've never been in a cabin never stayed in a cabin never paid to sleep on a boat or a ship rather so I don't know if the cabins are quiet or not I don't know yeah that's interesting any any any suggestions anyone that's listening that's still still awake anyone so I'm just that is
kind of what I'd like to do I mean from what's from what it says here let me have a look travel Newity everyone if you could quickly and easily head from England to France Belgium or the Netherlands technically I travel to the Netherlands and then I got a train to Amsterdam unfortunately no dogs were allowed on the Eurostar I've not been on a Eurostar that's something I've not done so that'd be good I mean some some people when they get and these aren't bucket lists I'm not I'm not really a
big into the old bucket list because I've attempted my bucket lists and neither of them have worked out very well recently one was getting a psychology degree that kind of failed at the first hurdle second hurdle and getting a black belt that that that kind of fell as well it's another hurdle and my body's just not it's not really capable of that kind of training anymore used to be it's just not anymore my back you know sometimes it's just yeah so I don't think of it as a bucket list although
I do like the idea of bucket lists and that was a good movie but I mean I just I don't know so things I'd like to do I suppose a bucket list would include getting married but I don't know if that's something that would happen it's possible I mean one of the only reasons not the only reason but one of the main reasons I don't have a girlfriend is because I never go out I never meet anybody okay it's not the only reason there's also how I look and how bad
I smell but that's so those other reasons that can be temporarily fixed you know can have a wash and put a bag overhead so that you know those can be fixed but temporarily but you never you know if you don't if I don't go out I'm not gonna meet anyone therefore I'm not gonna that that you know that chemistry it doesn't even to be like chemistry it could just be a chemistry in the sense of you really like being in the company of someone there's something about them you just like
spending time with them and I have that to a degree sometimes with people as far as not not on that level of like relationship level but there is people that I enjoy seeing every now and then and talking to and stuff but and I quite like I've got that with a couple of females female friends but there's nothing in it there's no no nothing in else involved in those friendships it's just purely friends I mean one of them is actually an ex-girlfriend but she's more like my sister now we dated
for a little while and yeah it wasn't really gonna work and yeah it's just like a like a sister and that suits me better really the next sentence I was about to say was wrong so I'm not gonna say it so I've always wanted to know so then hmm if I was gonna have a bucket list what would it be though I've not like in that not really in that kind of motive I want to jump out of a plane I want to do a parachute jump or do a bungee
jump I want to swim with sharks what's wrong with you why would anyone want to do that I don't it's like I want to tempt fate that's what I want to do I really want to push things to the limit see how much how how badly do you want me up there come on I'm giving you a chance no no I'm not gonna do that I would never bungee jump not on purpose never ever ever it's like why it's just no and so yeah that's that's not gonna happen women it's
not really my thing anyway I'm not necessarily that interested in going to exotic countries necessarily unless I'm safe I'm a I have to be a safe traveler I'm not into mountaineering mountaineering not goat no I don't want to go climbing mountains or or I don't wanna go skiing down a mountain with no way of stopping apart from skill and talent and no with the ability to ski I suppose but no that's not no I did snowboarding back in Bulgaria in 2002 and I didn't enjoy it if I'm honest I didn't
like it at all the ski the the snowboarding part it wasn't me wasn't for me and you know back then I was physically fit you know as a young man still it's only funny in the early 40s and or 30s to a 2002 2002 I was still 31 still 31 so was it was it 2003 no it's definitely 2002 yeah it was one of those situations where a friend phoned me up said we've had someone pull out of a holiday that we're going on I said who's we he said are
me and my friends I said okay why are you telling me he said I don't know if you want to come along what to the holiday that I wasn't invited to in the first place yeah well wasn't I invited that's good no one likes you okay so do you want to come I said yeah cool cool so I went along and I had to pay which I could because I was working so I paid the I had to pay a deposit and then I had to pay the rest you know
a few weeks later and this is probably the beginning of the year and we went in probably March I think in the end of February March time and unfortunately it cost my all my money went on the trip so it wasn't cheap and I had hardly any money to take with me which is a little bit weird considering I was working full-time I don't know why I had no money I got no idea why did I have any money hmm so I didn't you know I thought I was told it
was a skiing holiday now I didn't really know what snowboarding was but if you'd have said a snowboarding holiday I would have known that it wasn't a skiing holiday you know I didn't know what snowboarding was but I knew it wasn't skiing because skiing sounds different it's ee-ing ee-oarding or you know or ee it sounds different it's a different word so I possibly would have gone and asked someone or gone online or whatever you know to find out what snowboarding is and some of you might think well you didn't know
what snowboarding was you booked on a holiday you didn't go snowboarding you didn't know what it was did you no I just explained I didn't know it was a snowboarding holiday I thought it was a skiing holiday never been skiing before but I just figured that having having a ski on each foot would be preferential to standing on top of a big tennis racket okay it wasn't a tennis racket but it would do you know it's basically it was a skateboard skateboard without wheels but with a skateboard at least you
can drop off you know if the skateboard goes flying somewhere else you can just try and land safely with these things they're stuck to your feet so wherever they go you go so yeah I didn't it wasn't for me I've never really been into I guess winter sports water sports either remember I met someone I think it was on online I had a few people were also to be interested in what kind of activities or the holidays are seem to like and the amount that just didn't contact me afterwards when
I answered and like do you enjoy water sports it's like I think about 15 different women asked me that and I said no I don't mean how can we all like different I like boxing and weird I can't remember what that app was dating and pissing I think it was I don't know let's move on I yeah I think it's not really into I definitely pissed off I definitely I would yeah I don't think there's any kind of adventure holiday that I'd be up for which maybe doesn't make me sound
very exciting although I used to be in love with someone who worked in a coffee place I mean I was just a besotted with I don't know why but I do know why it's just something there was just like really really like that and she was a into like swimming underneath the ocean with snorkeling or did I call it snorkeling I don't know but she used to do that I would never do that I wouldn't even do that in a puddle not that you could do it in a puddle but
you know I mean I wouldn't even do it when there was no possibilities of a shark arriving I remember there was a days when sharks were the things you'd be worried about stingrays weren't weren't scary now skin stingrays you know it's like come on I'm not not not doing that not not no I like the costume though that's definitely something that I'd wear to a wedding that that would be something that I'm happily wear walking around flippers and all that big costume on and the goggles I think it just looks
so nice and to be fair some of them women that on that dating site probably would have quite happy be happy me wearing that strange now I was in on this one day inside it was years ago and as it was like a telephone talking thing but it was it wasn't like a weird thing it was just like to just read just people humans okay not humans but you know it wasn't a a premium thing which I yeah it wasn't one of those and I'm going on there and it was
just and this is in my late 20s and I'll be on there on my mobile phone I think and it's really strange because it was a little bit like you'd come through isn't there like a roulette chat roulette or something or they used to be where you'd come through you'd say hello to them and then they either you could get rid of them or they can get rid of you and you go on to the next person that's what this was but on the phone it was like the original version
of that I guess but a lot a long long time ago and I ended up dating a few women from that meet and Nerman's going out I say dating but you know I guess it was a precursor to tinder I suppose and I forget what it was what the kid what he was called I'll think of a name and I did oh I dated why I say date but I met up with 1 2 3 4 5 can you think of 5 people that I met up with so 5 females
1 I went all the way to Birmingham to see and I was taught and these are people I talked to for quite a long time before I met them I got on really well with them I like them a lot no 6 there's another one but I never met her there was a lot that I didn't meet but I actually met up with one one I can't go by my memory of them so one was I was I really kind of fell for her on the phone and we talked for
hours and hours every day I mean it was only on that machine you know the app wasn't it called an app by then at that time but only on this date and telephone dating thing for a little while and then it went you know talking on her own phones and she lived in Essex I lived in Stratford so she lives in Essex I kind of was talking to her for months in fact months and she didn't want to meet I didn't really know why but we did meet in the end
and then there was another one who I went after work and we were talking for weeks and weeks and weeks and I went around there after work and I didn't didn't see her again after that but she yes she had a kid so did like a very like a toddler and I liked I don't know what happened there actually I can't remember and I asked why I didn't see her again why maybe she didn't want to see me possibly hard to believe but yeah yeah it's very hard to believe so
then that's two the third one this was a bit of a strange one because not the person well I went around her house or it was a flat and we'd been talking for weeks and weeks and weeks and she invited me around again it might have been I might go around there after work or just it might be in a Sunday I don't know but went around there and so she's standing there in a living room and she hands me a rose so I'm like okay cool and then she she
says her stuff I didn't really know what she was really talking about but I guess I possibly wasn't listening but she had didn't have much blood in my head at the time and she had she pulled the bed out of a sofa like a sofa in living room so she pulled it into a bed you know out there was a it was a sofa bed that she pulled out we got in and she rolled over and went to sleep like I thought she was joking because I've done that a few
times as a joke once I actually did fall asleep but she a bit she was gone like completely unconscious and I didn't know what to do because I thought there'd be some kind of there wasn't even a conversation so I end up I try sleeping a little bit I felt like I knew her because I've been talking to her for weeks every day for weeks and in the end I go and sit in the chair turn the TV on she wasn't disturbed by anything so I thought watch a TV and
she wouldn't wake up and even in the morning I mean it wasn't eight hours but at least six hours later probably I don't know eight in the morning my mind I put about six in the morning so I got there probably got there about 11 or 12 in the evening and she's just like fast asleep and I didn't know what to do I felt very awkward like what do I stay here what if she wakes up she forgot that I forgot I'm here and she sees me and that might be
weird what if I go to sleep and then I'll wake up and I forget where I am that would be weird as well what if we both wake up I forget about each other you know it just those kind of kind of scenarios in my head I didn't know what to do I genuinely didn't know what to do so in the end I just left I waited till about 8 o'clock so I think there was there was a McDonald's I had to wait until the there was a McDonald's not far
away I had to wait for that to open because I was hungry so I think I went and got a McDonald's and just came home well not here but where I was living at the time it'd be weird if I came here wouldn't it like 20 years before I even moved in that'd be strange just knocked it like knock on door I think I forgot my key who are you I live here no you don't oh yeah bye Finny's been very temperamental with his food lately and I don't know why
I don't know what it is so yeah I was thinking oh there's a novel oh man so that's three three that I met a fourth one a fourth one a fourth person she lived in she lived in Birmingham so I travel all the way to Birmingham from London to see her and I get a taxi to where she lives I've got her address and everything we've been sending letters to each other I love letters all that stuff and I get there and she's got one I knew she had kids it's
not like it was a surprise but she had lots of kids and it was almost a feral situation in a sense if the kids were just doing whatever they wanted and you might think okay yeah I'm exaggerating we were in the kitchen talking me and her okay and one of the kids said quick mum you gotta look at this and we go out and at least two of the kids were chucking rocks at the house opposite at their windows now that was just within me being there for about 10 minutes
so imagine what they do when I don't have any guests they don't have visitors you know this is them on their best behavior and it was just like weird and very chaotic and that's when I realized that I liked her I fancied her and I liked talking to on the phone she was funny and I was attracted to her as well but there was a light that was a that was a lifestyle that I just is kind of a little bit like my own lifestyle my own childhood when I lived
in Newcastle a bit of chaos and I didn't really yeah wasn't really my scene weird it was strange but I left got a taxi back to a train station and came came home yeah nothing happened there either so so far how many is that that's how many how many people one so there's one there one two three four so only 50% of the people I'm out with did anything mildly romantic happen in person but beforehand fully on full-on romance and lovey-dovey on the phone and by by post I would you
know I was quite into poetry back then and although I did have one met one lady and she was always correct my spelling I sent her a love poem it's very short poem but it was like before I'd expressed my full intention of love towards her it was on Valentine's Day funny enough and all she could do is say oh she had to spell a mistake had to correct my spellings there's only two L's in swallow like I thought there's four I don't know blimey she said and no so what
do you mean no she said I'm just answering a question I said I didn't ask you a question she said do you not even look at what you send so it's a poem yeah but the poem was like okay shush stop I just she said do not shush me I'm an independent person did you shush me none of that happened so I and then there was a nut this was a kind of tell you this one this was yeah another weird I had a very weird situation where I yeah I'm
not gonna tell you about it but I got out of there very quickly as soon as I saw what was going on it was someone basically was it was like a prank and it's not someone that I've spoken to a lot like once or whatever and twice and yeah it's like okay this is weird so anyway that nothing happened there and there was someone else yeah oh no this is later on so I think that's it there might be more I can't remember one of the other things that I try
not to have Finny barking is when we're so we're going in the hallway out and in out of the building and then when there's another dog that annoys me when he's barking other dogs so it just feels uncomfortable you know and then I can't remember what other reasons I think is he's barking is so high-pitched it really doesn't fit into my eardrums so very well you're just there with his head down that's staring his bum do you need a poo-poo or wee-wee is that what you need do you need wee-wees
you are so pretty yes you are I don't know what he stares at his bum for is like I don't know what he's expecting to happen and that's it I don't know really what I covered in this recording I seem to have been talking for more than 20 minutes but what did I say I've no idea am I supposed to give this a title ferries I call it called ferries that's what I'm gonna call this ferries and water sports I don't know ferries ferries that's that's something I did talk about
a bit I think I'm not told this story before but it was an embarrassing situation going to Ireland the second time I met this this girl on there I was 24 she was the same age 22 23 and we spent pretty much the whole journey together there's a long journey because overnight so it's pretty much all night and we got on really well I never once asked her why she was going over there but we what we went to the cinema we had a laugh it wasn't it wasn't romantic but
it was you know it was just nice and she left and she we got when we departed when we got off the ferry she said I'll see I said bye she's I'm gonna go and see my boyfriend okay I'm gonna go and see all my girlfriends all my 17 different girlfriends she laughed and we left and now that was it and now I've got you know just went in different separate ways and but then the ferry that the the bus she had to get onto a coach and they all go
in different directions I need a coach to take me to Carlo or the bus take me to Carlo because I've got the bus to the ferry so from I got a bus from London Vinnie just I gave you a bit of attention now you're just annoying me and my leg still dark is it is the Sun gone down it's only five o'clock five past five five past five still light outside still light after six o'clock now well still till six I love this time here because it's I don't know it's
a different energy like springtime it's almost there's possibilities does that make sense possibilities and opportunities a bit of yeah I don't know just like it all right Vinnie what are you doing you little chomper you little chimpa chomper anyway and so I'm getting I'm going to the you know I have to make my way to the coach station so I'm coming out the thing I don't know who was I think I saw someone that was on the original coach who I hadn't said didn't sit on the ferry but I was
sitting next to them on the coach from London to Wales so I kind of got to know them a little bit and then I started talking to this I see I kind of you know I don't know his name but I see him and he's inside the the very place you know when you come out or wherever I don't know but he was there or was it or did we get it was like I suppose from the ferry it was a bus to the to Dublin but anyways in Dublin I
know because it was a McDonald's there and so I'm talking to him and some other blokes come up and he's talking to them and he's saying he met a nice girl and on the coach on the on the ferry I said you know what so did I I met someone lovely and I was describing her perhaps in too much detail to be fair and it was all complimentary but you know in hindsight perhaps I shouldn't have said anything and so he's talking there's a couple other blokes there as well they're
waiting around and they were just all laughing I'm making them laugh or they're laughing maybe at me I don't know do a little bit of farting I used to be able to do little songs in farts but and I was talking about this lady because I figured well I'm not going to see her again doesn't really matter I'm not being detrimental but I was just all rude really just like just just saying how lovely she was really and how she was begging me to to take her with me but I
said no I couldn't be bothered I have things to do I needed to I said like I came to Ireland to get away from all the women chasing me and they laughed at that and the next thing is the bloke says oh there's my girlfriend this is one of the other blokes and it was the one I'd spent the whole time on the ferry with I thought oh because she's probably going to come over say hello to him say hello to me and introduce me to him saying oh we spent
the whole ferry you know together it went to the cinema and the fact that I've just been talking about her like not talking about her badly generally it's like a joke really was but you know making out that she fancied me in that it's very awkward so what I did is I ran I got out of there really quickly and got to the got to the thing she was waving I think she was waving at me but then I got to the in my mind she was and I got to
the McDonald's and I just hid and I just thought why did I get myself into that situation just for the sake of like a joke making out that there's you know someone was chasing me around a whole journey like a Benny Hill sketch being chased by women and I was like just trying to hide from her you know life boats and stuff because she was desperate for my for my underpants I don't know yeah backfired a little bit but yeah that's that was weird she was lovely I've met a couple
I've met a few really really lovely women over the years traveling and there was one years ago I can't even remember where I was going it was on a coach though maybe it was a long journey and she had I think a cello with her and she was in an orchestra and stuff and I don't know where she was going it might have been at the Irish trip it or it might have been when I was traveling up to somewhere else it was a long journey anyway I think it was
on the train and she was so lovely but yeah I think she had a boyfriend and I think I'll be one of those those men that you know even when I was younger someone that was maybe nice to talk to but that was it you know what I don't think I don't think a lot of women over the years when I was younger and that really took me seriously as a person or always as a potential partner or you know as it were but that might be my problem that might
be my my my fault for dressing as a rabbit I don't know it's hard to tell isn't it so I'm gonna go so I'm glad that I was able to really cover everything this is what's happened this week that's what this was recording was about what happened this week and I've ended up talking about ferries so I'm gonna go I will be back again tomorrow with another Let Me Bore You To Sleep so thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy be gentle with yourself lots of love soon as I say that viddy's up bye
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.