(no music) #1276 Steve Martin movies - Let me bore you to sleep (23rd January 2025)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name's Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

You know Vinnie, he's been hassling me for food and I go into the kitchen getting some food and he looks at me like, what's that? What am I supposed to do with that? Called my dinner do you? So what he really wanted was a t-r-e-e-e-e-e-t. That's what he wanted. I'm not going to say the word because he understands that particular word.

So before I start, before I start, I'd just like to quickly say thank you to Aska and to Emil. Thank you for your PayPal gifts. Very kind, very generous.

Thank you. I did also thanked you both, you know, send messages to you and posted something on the Jason Newland's Boring Group on Facebook. Now something's gone weird with my Facebook page.

I don't know what, but for some reason, oh no, it's just some messages I received yesterday or early hours this morning have been deleted. They're not there anymore on Messenger. I've got to do this.

That's my cardigan by the way. Oh, you want to know what if I got an OnlyFans? I thought about it actually. I thought about getting an OnlyFans page and, you know, doing what a lot of other people do, charge £10 a month.

But if I thought if I charge £200 a month and promised to keep my clothes on, I could make a fortune. There's a joke in there somewhere. I saw a really weird thing on YouTube.

Not the first not the first weird thing I've seen. I was watching the Apollo. And, you know, live at the Apollo, you know, things like that.

And I used to watch that years ago. I'm talking blimey. Hmm.

Late about 1990. He used to be on on TV late at night. And because it's quite a rough crowd and people get booed off.

But those that didn't get booed off, wow, they were loved. And there was this singer very much kind of Luther Vandrossi like singer singing wise, you know, very solely, why is Michelle Obama trending? Let's have a look. Yeah.

Okay, who's the most popular singer? Was it night at the Apollo night at the Apollo? The most popular singer? Classic Showtime, Showtime, Apollo, Cruise Angel. 2024. The winner of America's longest running talent show night at the Apollo.

Right. Okay, 1990. 1990 snap.

Is it snap? Decory. Decory. 25 classic Showtime at the Apollo.

Because there was one this man and he kept winning, kept winning and winning and winning and winning. And he kept bringing him back. And he was just, I don't know if he became famous in America.

I mean, he might become famous everywhere. I just can't remember his name. It was on an old TV that I had in this bedsit thing, place that I used to live.

Sarah Fawn, 1956. James Brown, 1968. Now it's a little bit longer.

They were obviously famous back then. 1987 1988 Howard Hewitt once, twice, three times. Maybe that's who I'm thinking of.

Patti LaBelle. She was already famous in 1989, wasn't she? 1990. Bonita Applebaum.

A Tribe Called Quest. UnVogue. Okay, right.

Maybe I can't find the people. Unless it is. It might be.

There was just particular, it was like this one particular singer that kept. I don't know. I watched them.

I didn't watch it all the time. McCrory wins Showtime at the Apollo with a stunning performance of R. Kelly's When a Woman Loves a Man. Well, that wasn't 1990 because R. Kelly wasn't even famous in 1990.

It wasn't far off it to be fair, was it? It was about 94 R. Kelly came, became well known. Snap Power Live. It's Showtime at the Apollo 1990.

I don't know who it was then. I've got no idea. What was I talking about? I was talking about something, wasn't I? It must have been.

I wasn't talking about the Apollo. Oh, yeah. So I'm watching.

I'm looking at YouTube. And I thought, they have singers on there, but they have comedians as well, don't they? So I thought, I wonder if there's any famous comedians ever performed at the Apollo. So I put in Richard Pryor, Richard Pryor at the Apollo.

He didn't come up, but the title Richard Pryor's son, Mason, booed offstage at the Apollo. I thought, what? And I watched it. And he was indeed booed offstage.

But it was unnecessary. Very, very unnecessary. First of all, they cheered him because he was Richard Pryor's son.

Then you heard, you know, when they put the microphones sort of in the audience, you can hear what they say. They do it on the X Factor. Well, they used to do that on the X Factor when it was around.

I think they probably do it on Britain's Got Talent. They never used to do it, but they've done it more like the last 10 years. So you always hear something in the audience say, oh, you know, something like that.

Oh, like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. You know, just sounds, they make sounds. And when Mason Pryor, Richard Pryor's son, his youngest son apparently, gets on stage, I think he was introduced as Richard Pryor's son, which is never a good, probably a good thing, really.

Because, I don't know, in America, there is no, there's no comedian more famous than Richard Pryor that would be performing at the Apollo. And, you know, I mean, there's, I don't know, you got Eddie Murphy and you got Bill Cosby. But I would say probably Richard Pryor is above everyone as far as, I don't know how to explain, a lot of people in the comedy world, especially probably maybe more in America, I don't know.

None of the comedians in this country would talk to me, so I don't know what they thought. I, Richard Pryor was the king of comedy. But then, if you go as far as success, then Bill Cosby was way more successful, and so was Eddie Murphy, than Richard Pryor.

Eddie Murphy was more successful, he went on to be a movie star. Richard Pryor, at one point, in the early 80s, was the highest paid Hollywood star. See, he was the highest paid actor in Hollywood.

But I think it's safe to say that Eddie Murphy completely eclipsed him when it came to the bigger movies and more successful movies and more money. So Eddie Murphy eclipsed him there. When it comes to being a live stand-up comedian, success-wise, Richard Pryor had lots of albums, but then so did Bill Cosby.

Eddie Murphy had a couple of albums, but he also had the biggest live concert of anyone. You know, when he did Raw, he did Delirious, and he did Raw. I think Raw was the one that was the biggest out of the two, I think.

And people went to the cinema to watch them. It's got to be weird going to a cinema to watch a stand-up show filmed. I don't know, I just, because there isn't that interaction with the audience, is there? It just, yeah, I'm not sure how comfortable I'd feel watching a stand-up comedy.

Not even that. I watched the 40-year-old Virgin movie back in 2000 and probably 2005 with some friends. And we were in this little theatre, and it just, there was bits in, I was with someone, they were Buddhists, and one of them was quite a, not elderly, but a fair bit older than me, about 20 years older than me, and he was quite high up in the Buddhist thing, you know.

So I'm sitting next to him, and I kind of felt a little bit awkward about laughing at some of the stuff, because it was almost like, it's like sitting next to my nan, you know, except more physical contact. So yeah, it was weird. So Mason Pryor, you know, for those who don't know, Bill Cosby was an absolute, before TV I'm talking about, before anything else, Bill Cosby was a superstar comedian.

No one was as big as him. He filled stadiums all over America during the 60s, probably 70s as well. He was a huge star.

And the same with, Steve Martin was also a massive star in the 70s, before he became, before he started doing movies, huge star, filling out stadiums and stuff in America. See, I found this out later on, I didn't know, I didn't really, did I? No, I saw, I used to watch Steve Martin movies when I was a kid. So I'm not having a little page, a separate page, because I was looking for Mason.

So Steve Martin, when I was probably, me, me, me, me, what was I, 14. I used to rent out videos, well, not just 14, 13, 12, 13, you know, as soon as I had a bit of money myself, I'd go around the corner and I'd rent videos out. And there was all these videos that were not famous.

They weren't big movies, like in this country. I had no idea what they, you know, I really didn't know what they were. But I got one, I rented it out.

And I loved it. So I read another one out. And I watched every single movie that Steve Martin had produced up to that point.

So I'm just having a look. He got books, where's his movies then? Awards and nominations, Steve Martin filmography. Okay.

Okay, well, because he was already famous in the 70s. The first thing I probably would have seen them in. No, no, it wouldn't been.

So I don't think I saw the jerk until I was older. But the ones that did see, there was one, two, three, four, five, or four, at least. I don't remember pennies from heaven.

But there was dead men don't wear plaid, or plaid, the man with two brains. So dead men don't wear plaid, 1982. The man with two brains, 1983.

The lonely guy and all of me, 1984. So I watched those movies during that period, because I was still at school. And they weren't as well, to be fair, maybe they were the cinema because I was too old, too young, rather to watch them too old.

So I don't think I don't know if they, I mean, they're all made us they were successful, as far as they made money at the box office and looks of it. But I don't know if they were released in the UK of England, Commonwealth, United Kingdom, Britain, I'm not sure. I don't know.

But they were funny. They are still to me, they were his funniest, his funniest movies. Dead men don't wear plaid, the man with two brains, the lonely guy, and all of me.

So dead men don't wear plaid, that was like a detective one. The man with two brains. So he's in love.

He's a surgeon, brain surgeon, and he's in love with a woman who's not really into him, but she just lead him along, I think, through his money or whatever. And yeah, so that was funny. And there's one time when she's, she keeps offering him like, we're going to make love today.

And he's like, okay, really, and then it doesn't happen. And eventually said, we're really going to do it. And she said, I've got two brains to do.

I've got, I've got, I've got to do brain surgery on two people. I hope I'm not spoiling the plot. This was 42 years ago.

And he said, she said, well, the sooner you get home, the better, the quicker we can get it on. So he's there, and he's literally doing brain surgery on two people at the same time, spinning their scalp to get it off. And it's just silly, but it's funny.

Very funny. And there's another bit, I think he's, he's, he's, yeah, I think he's in his, he's in his dressing gown. And he's standing at the, these windows, like, I guess, like a door with windows, you know, opens up.

And he's looking at the swimming pool. And he's, the lady that he really likes, it waves at him. And they just hear crack as the window, the glass in the door, like breaks open.

Okay, I'll leave that for you to figure out what happened there. So that's a funny movie. Lonely Guy.

So Lonely Guy is that I've got to, these are spoilers. If you don't want to know what happens in these movies, don't, don't, you know, don't listen. The Lonely Guy starts off.

And this, this was one of the funniest things I've seen. I mean, bearing in mind, I was like 1314. It was, I just couldn't, it was hilarious.

So he gets home. He finds his wife in bed with another man. Or with a man, because she's not a man.

So it's not another man, is it? But another man, not him. And instead of like, losing his cool and you know, whatever, he just gets in bed beside them. And I struggled to watch that.

I kept stopping it because I was literally crying. Because it's just so ridiculously, just ridiculous, ridiculously ridiculous. I found it very just so funny.

And there's parts of it that were really exciting. Anyway, he they split, obviously, that doesn't that doesn't go anywhere. And he ends up living on his own.

And there's one point as he's living in this apartment, and he's got life size cutouts of people to be his friends in his apartment. And I think he makes friends with someone. And again, this this I might be getting muddled up between the films.

But he, he gets this is a funny movie. There's one really, it's funny, but it's also a bit dark as well. Where he's, he's, he's made a new friend.

But his new friend is going through it. And his new friend left a note saying he was gonna jump off a bridge, the Golden Gate Bridge or whatever. So he's running down the bridge.

And as he stops, I said, Oh, stop, stop, there's someone standing on the bridge. Stop, stop, they turn around. It isn't it isn't his friend.

And he said, I'll carry on. Sorry. And he keeps running.

And that's, that's so wrong. But it's funny in the context of the movie. And as all these people just like, it's very silly.

So that that's a funny, funny bit. I can't think of much of that film. But it was good.

Men don't wear plaids. It's very funny as well. But I can't remember much of it.

It's kind of a real Mickey take off the old, like Humphrey Bogart movies. The what do they call them? I like those movies like shoe gum. Is it shoe gum? Private detectives, stuff like that.

And then you got all of me 1984. And he was I don't know how he ends up but he ends up Lily Tomlin. Have I got that name? Right? Have I got it right? Lily Tomlin.

Yes. Lily Tomlin. 85 now.

Wow. Well damn, how old is Steve Martin? 79. So Lily Tomlin is she's basically on her last on the bed, about to leave the planet.

And she's arranged for a like a witch doctor to transfer her soul into a younger body. So that she can live on that was kind of the plan. I think I was into a cat, something like that.

Well, it went wrong. And the body, her soul went into Steve Martin. So half, half of him is being controlled by her.

And half of him is being controlled by himself. And, again, it's very funny. Well, it was back then it might, it might not be very popular now.

But it's very just I found it hilarious. The jerk, I kind of don't, I like the jerk, but I didn't see it until probably 1990. My favourite movie of his was Roxanne.

I just liked it. I mean, he did a lot of movies I liked, but I think there's something happened when he got to Yeah, I didn't really didn't really any of his movies. I've not really sort of got into after la story.

So hello story that was really good. But he wrote and he was writer and executive producer that there's one really funny bit that I remember. But then Roxanne, he was the writer and executive producer of that.

Three Amigos also the writer and executive producer. He was the writer of the jerk. So he's written quite a few different things.

Or Little Shop of Horrors. He was in that as well. But that was that wasn't his movie.

Although some would argue he kind of stole definitely had one of the biggest scenes in that funniest things. Because he was a dentist, wasn't he? In that he was orange, DDS, whatever that means. That was 86.

I was same years Three Amigos. See in my mind, which is wrong, of course, the Three Amigos was like in the 90s. That's what I remember.

And Roxanne being the first big movie that he did that became made him really popular in the UK. But there's Three Amigos quite big, I think in the UK. Let me have a look.

What movie was Steve Martin's big break out in the UK? Okay, let's have a look. Let's have a look. Let's have a look.

No, all of me. Oh, this actually got here. They're the top 25 films of Steve Martin.

This is Den of Geek. Okay. 25 Bilko.

And the problem with he took on, he did take on characters that were already not only done before, but done to perfection before. And that's, that's a difficult one. It's almost like why, why go somewhere where it's, it's done.

You can't be a Sergeant Bilko. You can't be better than him. You can't be better than Peter Sellers as the Pink Panther.

Why is Inspector Clouseau? It can't be beaten. It's not that you can't do great. But they've been done and they were done.

I mean, blimey, the Pink Panther was there was like four or five films. And Sergeant Bilko had his TV show for years. So it was kind of difficult.

I think he did it. I mean, there's this one very funny bit in one of the Pink Panther, one that I found funny. And he goes into like some crime.

And he goes into the recording studio. And he said, so they're outside the recording studio, you know, where all the recording bits are, but inside the actual studio where the microphone is, that's kind of all sealed off. And he said, is it soundproof in there? And they said, yes.

So he walks in there, close the door and lets off a massive fart. But everyone else can hear it. See that, for me, with my very simplistic humor.

I mean, to be honest, I've never watched any of the Pink Panther movies that he did all the way through. I've just seen clips. Because I grew up with the originals.

And I just, because I'm a fan of Steve Martin, I didn't want to didn't want to taint it by watching something that he didn't need to do. However weird it might sound. Father of the Bride.

Again, they were huge, huge, big star wasn't a big movie. But I didn't really watch it. Now number 18.

That's number 19. Number 18. Now we're getting somewhere.

The Lonely Guy. Very funny. Number 18.

I would have put that a lot higher. The Muppet movie. I mean, that yeah, he was good in that to be fair.

But that was, I think the Muppets always stole the show, didn't they, in their own movies. L.A. Story, number 15. I did like L.A. Story.

It was the first movie for a while that I liked that he did for a little while. And it was very different from what he'd previously done. So Penny's from Heaven.

I never watched it. I've seen, I watched the UK version, the British version. Number 13 is Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.

Now I, that is a good film. It's very funny. So him and Michael Caine.

Great, great pairing. The Three Amigos. Yeah, it's funny, but it's a good film.

It was, I wasn't just, yeah, I'm not sure if I liked it at the time. I think I probably did. Little Shop of Horrors, which is number 11 on this list.

I'll always like that movie. But it wasn't because of Steve Martin. It wasn't, it was just the whole movie was great.

The songs, everyone in it was really good. And it was just a really, really great movie. And so Leap of Faith.

No, I didn't really watch that. I've seen it, didn't really like it. Number nine, Deaf Men Don't Wear Plaid or Played.

It's really funny. If you get a chance to watch it. Very, very funny.

It's, it's one of those great movies that probably most people haven't watched. I would argue. I'm not reading off the screen, doesn't say that.

It says one of these movies that a lot of people might not have seen. See, it's different, different wording. No, it doesn't say that.

I made it up myself. I made all of it up. If you ever get a chance to watch it, they're the films I would recommend the early movies that you did.

Dead Men Don't Wear Played, I think it's in black and white or in that sign that that colouring that was kind of like black and white. And Roxanne. I just like the movie.

It's really good, very funny. He's great. All the characters are really good in it.

And it's also kind of feel good as well. He there's one character in it. And it's very strange.

And I don't know why this appealed to me. But he's a fireman. Because Steve Martin's a fireman in this movie, I'm pretty sure he is.

And one of the firemen is a firefighters. He's caught reading a book. So if someone catches him reading a book, so he covers it up.

And then you see him going into the book and going into the bookshop and he's, he's reading philosophy books, but he doesn't want anyone to know that he reads stuff like that. And I just thought, it's a little bit like me. Nothing like me really.

But you know, I used to like to read and philosophy and stuff like that. The difference is, I didn't understand any of it. Yeah.

Trains, planes and automobiles at number six. Again, it's like a movie really. It's it's kind of that for me, again, I'm just talking from my own perspective.

The way he, he worked really well with Michael Caine. He also worked really well with John Candy. And John Candy is definitely the star of the movie.

Because he's the nice guy. But Steve Martin, so he doesn't, Steve Martin doesn't play a nice character in that movie. Really.

But he's, he's good at it. In fact, it, I imagine that's probably perhaps what he's like. I don't know why I said that.

It's good. And yeah, it's funny. There's some really funny bits in it as well.

The jerk. It's quite weird, because Charles Bukowski, one of my favourite writers from the 90s, well, I discovered him in the 90s. I read so much of his stuff.

He's very famous, probably his most famous book is called Post Office. But he also did Factotum, Women, Notes of a Dirty Old Man. Dirty old man.

He did a lot of poetry and stuff like that. The weird thing about it is and I'm not okay. He wasn't, he wasn't a pretty boy.

Okay, he wasn't a pretty boy. And you might say, why are you saying that? I don't mean it rudely. But he wasn't, he wasn't.

The reason I'm saying this is because the two people that they got to play him in the movies, they did Post Office and they did, what's it, Bar, not Barstool, Bar Rant, Bar Bug, Barbie, what do they call it? Someone hangs around a bar, Barfly, Barfly. He was in there because that was another one of his books. So, Mickey Rourke played him in Barfly.

And this is before Mickey Rourke's boxing career. So this is when he was still a heartthrob. And Post Office had Matt Dillon.

And that was 20 years ago. So Matt Dillon was also a heartthrob. And it's just really weird that they got such really handsome, super handsome men to play someone that was very, he was a different looking person.

When I'm a big fan, I'm not judging his, his appearance. I'm not in a position to do that anyway. But yeah, he was, he was quiet.

He was an intimidating kind of fella. You know, he's kind of, and Mickey Rourke and Matt Dillon, is it Matt Dillon? Have I got the right name now? Matt Dillon. They weren't intimidating.

Well, maybe, maybe Mickey Rourke a little bit. But Matt Dillon wasn't. In the movie, he was, I don't know.

But you can't argue they're both, well, you can argue if you want, they are very good actors. But I don't think it did justice to the movie because a lot of the time he was playing an out like, because he was very, very reliant on alcohol during his life, old Charles Bukowski. One of the things he's famous for, other than like writing.

And he had a very, oh, I just got a messenger from Cara. Yeah. Okay.

So I don't know why I'm talking about Charles Bukowski. I've got some of his books here. I love Charles Bukowski.

I just remember him something my neighbor just told me. He got some glasses. I think he bought them online and he paid a hundred pound for two pairs.

Okay. And he got them delivered by post. So I don't know if he, if he was watching a shopping channel, I didn't ask him.

I need to ask him really. But they, you can, you can focus on yourself, but then when he got them, it did say in the packaging, you do also need an eye test to see what your, what your focus is, what your, your prescription is. So you can like line it up correctly for that.

So he bought them to avoid going to, well, I don't know, but I'm guessing from what he said, he didn't want to go to the opticians. And I need to have a look at these glasses because it sounds quite good. I imagine that's what it used to be like, you know, in the old days, the old, old days, like the really old days before me.

I don't know, four or 500 years ago, when are the glasses, when were glasses invented? Glasses invented, what year was that? 17, the 30, what? The 13th century, according to three sources. The first eyeglasses, this is Wikipedia, so it might be true. The first eyeglasses were estimated to have been made in central Italy, most likely in Pisa or Florence by about 1290.

In a sermon delivered on the 23rd of February, 1306, the Dominican friar, Giorgiano da Pisa, and what does C mean? Circulation? 1255 to 1311, wrote, it is not yet 20 years since there was found the art of making eyeglasses, which makes, which makes, oh, it doesn't tell me which does. Okay, I can't find it. So they've been around a while.

But let's have glasses, new, new self, focusing, focusing glasses. Let me see what these are. What? Glasses direct, 15 pound.

So why did these dial adjustable? Dial adjustable glasses, variable focus for reading distance and vision. So they're 50 pound 59 each. We did say spent 100 pound for two.

Smithsonian Magazine, researchers at the University of Utah have developed smart glasses with liquid lenses that can automatically adjust their focus. It says adjust to your vision, I don't want it to adjust to my vision, I want it to adjust to what I need it to be not what it is. Imagine put glasses on and everything's foggy.

So brilliant. Great. These smart glasses adjust to your vision automatically.

The glasses liquid lenses change shape according to the distance of objects making reading glasses and bifocals unnecessary, unnecessary. Then shown a picture and they're awful. Like come on, they can't look like that.

No one's going to wear them if they look like that. Wow, okay. They need Yeah, that's the thing though, isn't it? Because they're not, I did see some prototype glasses that do exactly that adjust to your vision automatically.

And all know this is 1917 2017. Why are you showing me stuff from like eight years ago? Wow. Well, anyway, I saw these AI glasses.

And yeah, they they seem to work and they adjust to what you need to be able to see if you want to see something like further away. It kind of gains from your eyes that you need to do that and it adjusts the increase the magnification and stuff. Unfortunately, they're really bulk some bulk some cumbersome bulky, I was a corpse.

Bulk some was my mixture of that culvert colder some coal bulky and colder some cold some cold. It doesn't sound like a read cumbersome cumbersome blimey. I mean, they were like, huge.

You needed two people either side of the glasses to carry them. So they needed to need to make them a little bit smaller. It won't be long though.

I tell you what I do believe. Do you remember? Do you remember Star Trek? The next the next one not that you know, do you got the first one with, you know, Captain Kirk and Spocky and all that stuff. The the next generation or whatever it was called, which was in the late 80s.

And so you had Lieutenant Captain re Captain Rita, Lou, Lou, Luke hard, Luke hard. So Captain Luke hard. And wharf, the capacity head.

And what else? Riker, who is his number one, or number two. I'm a bit confused about that. Because surely Captain is number one.

Which means I wouldn't want to be anyone's number two, would you? Number two. And you had data, who is the Android. And then Jody, Jordy, I think it was Jordy, who was the mechanics who was in charge of mechanics.

And he, he couldn't see, but he had these, what he could see with these visors, the visor that he had on these dark glass things, but he could see perfectly with that. That's where we're going. That's, that's how things are moving along.

I can, I do often wondered about that, though. Because I remember I met a girl that was blind once and we got on all right. And I thought, well, it didn't work out.

I did. I did think, what if we'd have got married, we'd have got married in one day, they found a cure. And they could not cure, but you know, they were able to fix it.

They were able to, I don't know what the right wording is, but you know, to make it so that she could be visually okay. Great for her, obviously. But what if she saw me for the first time and screamed or laughed? I'm not sure which is worse.

Because she might have been with me like 10 years or 20 years thinking that I was like normal looking. Just like Matt Dillon. That was my ex.

You said you look like Matt Dillon. You didn't know Matt Dillon look like either, did you? Would be my argument. And I think that's so cool, though, to get those glasses.

So that I mean, there'll be a time probably when we won't even need glasses. I mean, some could argue we don't now do we've got those contact lens things, which no thanks. One of the benefits of wearing glasses other than the fact that it does cover up part of my face is it helps to keep stuff out of your eyes.

So when it's windy, I'm not talking about like trees or anything, but you know, just bits of dust. It can definitely keep your eyes kind of a bit clearer of that stuff. And I get to know if it's raining before people that don't wear glasses.

I mean, not not when it's bucketing down. Obviously, everyone can like, I'm not standing there. I think it's raining.

Yeah, no, no, really. We're all soaked. Of course, it's raining.

You think just because you've got glasses on, you're the only one that can tell it's raining. But there's that moment before the rain, they just, we call it in this country, we call it spitting. It's spitting.

It's spitting. Or it's trying to rain. It's trying to rain.

But you know, with glasses, you can actually, you can be in the in the in the park. And you can feel it on your glass. I remember some of the dog walkers.

I say, oh, it's gonna rain. How do you know? I can feel it on my glasses. She said, she said, you got glass.

I've got glasses too. How come I can't feel it? So we have to lie down in the grass like me. It's straight away.

Definitely. Yeah. Definitely rain.

Mind you, there was a pigeon up there. Oh, no, it was definitely rain. It was like a superpower, a superpower that no one wants.

Yeah, I think it's gonna be cool. Some of this technology. It's gonna be groovy.

Oh, yes. I need to get some new glasses. I need to get my eyes tested.

It's just, you know, I mean, I, I want to get back to reading. That's something I need to get back to. But I don't read with just so much of my readings now done on a screen.

And it seemed a little bit of a shame to miss, to not make use of books the way I used to and my love of books, just going into bookshops. Although the bookshop we have here, like in this store, it's in town, but it's just tiny. I like the London bookshops, the big ones, foils, books, etc.

Blackwell's, I don't know if any of them are still there now, but huge bookstores and you haven't got stand next to anyone. Because in in this town, if you want to look at the psychology section, or the philosophy section, or the I don't know, whatever section they might be. But if someone's already standing there, that's it, you're done.

But if you go to foils, and you want to look at the psychology section, the psychology or the philosophy section is bigger than the entire entire shop in my town. So you can look at the same section for like an hour and still not bump into each other unless you want to. These are cool glasses, what are they called? Vixions, Vixions autofocus eyeglasses, relax your eye muscles all day.

Hmm. So let's have a little look at this. Vixions.

This is 2024. Good. That annoyed me.

Coming across a page from not what 2018 2017. Vixions autofocus eyeglasses. The letter you see reveals your ADHD type.

Really? That's a test thing they want to do. Oh, talking to tests. I've got an email.

Let me let me show it to you. I'll show it to you. I'll show it to you.

We've got it. That's what it says on this email. Thanks for sending in your DNA sample, which was over a week ago now.

But the other one was about four months ago, but they sent me another pack because the first one went missing. Thanks for sending in your DNA sample. You've moved to the front of the processing line.

So I paid an extra £10 to not have to wait for three months. So I'm at the front of the front of the line. Your result should be available within four weeks.

Why have I gone to the front of the line if I'm still going to have to wait a month? Wow. So let's say check on the status. Discover unique story, sign in, I don't know what my name is.

I know what my name is. I just don't know what the Okay, so I'll use that email address. So here's the password.

Is that the correct email? Okay, cool. So my DNA test, Jason's DNA test tracker, or DNA tracker, it's registered. I did that before I sent it, it's arrived.

That happened after I sent it, I guess. Processing. So it's in the in the process of being processing, which only just really needs the sentence, it's being processed.

It's in the process of being processing. And then done. So it's not done yet, but it's being processed.

So it says, discover your ancestors. Your preview access account includes three potential ancestors to help you grow your tree. Check your tree to review or start a free trial to unlock them.

Potential father, potential mother. Well, I know who my, oh, wait a minute. That's interesting.

I wonder who my mother is. Suppose I must have had one. Potential.

What? I don't know who these people are. Charles 1825. 1820.

Blimey. So according to this, I don't know. According to this, it's got my granddad.

No, not even my granddad. Would it be my granddad? It might be. Might even be my great granddad.

They're my great. So, see, my mum's dad or my mum's granddad. And then his parents, which was 1825 to whatever, then their parents 1807 to 1875.

I don't know. But I mean, I never really. Oh, OK.

Parents. So I've got her parents. My mum.

Yeah. So I've got some of my stuff done. Apparently, this is interesting.

Well, kind of interesting. Let's have a look. It says that the details, if I click on details, Jason's DNA checker.

It says here, kit registered mail in sample 9th of January. OK, so they sent it to me on the 9th of January. They received it the 22nd of January.

How does it take that long to get there? That's I mean, they must be paying. I don't I don't get it. I don't get it.

So it says here, would you like to see what you would you like to see what you'll get when results are ready for you? And this is example results. You'll get a breakdown of places you may come from. So it's here.

This this this example says ancestral regions, Scotland, France, Ethiopia and Eritrea, southern southern Italy, Ireland, Cosen, Acre and Mbuti peoples. So it's got on this one, I've got 44% Scottish, 31% French or France, 6% Ethiopian, 5% southern southern southern Italy, Ireland 5%. So that's not mine.

That's just a sample. So that'll be good to see where I come from. On average, ancestor DNA members connect to seven ancestral regions.

Does it tell me what those regions are? It doesn't. It's just different parts of the world, I guess. And then 30 regions is the most anyone has ever gotten.

Fewer than 1% connect to just one region. You learn about your ancestors and where they moved as well. Oh, that's interesting.

So and then it says on average, ancestry DNA members connect to six ancestral journeys. Okay. DNA matches are people in our database who are related to each other.

So you get a list of your matches. So that's because over here, mother 50 50% shared DNA. And of course, you know, you have 50% of a father and 50% of that on my ball.

And then it's got this is just by examples, of course. Jane Sandra, aunt or half sister. Julian seven, first cousin.

You know what, I don't know why the whole world just doesn't do this. Do it. Could you imagine? I know people have gone out.

Oh, no, they take out DNA. Well, we could find out so much about each other, not about each other about ourselves. And yeah, but then if they did that, how many people would be married to their relatives? They don't know it.

So I guess yeah, maybe that's people don't want to know. But when I used to be a thing, I lived in this little town. And it was quite well known that probably 7080 years before I'd lived there, maybe 100 years, people used to just travel to the outskirts of the town in the countryside, and meet up with other people from another town, and maybe get together, have a dance, maybe have a little bit of a frolic, a little bit of a romantic moment.

And then never see them again. Maybe be in the dark, wouldn't even know what they look like, never see them again. And then later on in life later on, their kids perhaps would meet up.

And you know, so it's kind of, yeah. I'm not talking about Norwich, I'm just saying generally is it could be, it could be anywhere. I think I have a lot around the country, because there wasn't so much traveling, especially when there was no cars and stuff.

On average, people have about 700 matches, who are fourth cousins or closer. Wow. This example here's got 41,063 total matches for cousins.

No 469, no 698, fourth cousins or closer, but 41,000 matches. So this example is related to over 41,000 people. Wow, that's pretty amazing, isn't it? Really, you think about it, especially as I don't really get out much.

You'll get three traits for free, and more than 40 with a membership. So this is an example. As a Jane, I don't know who Jane is.

Your DNA suggests you're a knight, you're a knight was a nice, you're a knight person. Based on your genetics, you're more likely to be a knight person than 80% of the population. Jane, your DNA suggests you take naps, doesn't everyone? Based on your genetics, you're more likely to be a napper than 80% of the population.

The last one says, Jane, your DNA suggests your heart rate recovers from exercise at a quicker rate. And I mean, I can see how they get that if they did samples, everyone connected with that DNA, that strain of DNA would be an example of someone that was physically fit, or physically or you know, had a tendency to do certain things. I don't I don't know enough about it, to be honest.

And here's here's another one 40 plus traits by parents and new traits as they released. Personality dancing, born to dance or have two left feet, question mark. Dance moves can be learned, but certain parts of dancing have a genetic component.

So I wonder, does that mean that I'm genetically able to talk rubbish for long periods of time? Do you think that's that's a genetic thing? I actually discovered years ago, my dad, I discovered my dad, I've known him for a while. Um, where was it? It was at one of the weddings. So a wedding, probably in the last 10 years, I would say.

And he was sitting at the bar. And he was on the phone. And he was having this big, long conversation.

And he was including me and my brother in the conversation. It was a funny conversation. And after about 10 minutes, we realized he wasn't even talking to anyone.

He was just pretending to have a conversation with an invisible, not invisible, but it was just a made up comment. He was making up as he went along. That that's a side of him that I don't really see very often.

Well, I don't really see he was he was drinking and stuff. But yes, I may be. Because from a verbal perspective, my dad's verbal, he's not so verbal with me, but it can be a chat box.

My name was a chat box. And I mean that with respect, you know, she she liked to have a good old chat. My granddad, nothing.

Well, I didn't see that side of him anyway, if he did. I probably a bit chatty. Probably a little bit a little bit chatty.

Yeah. Vinnie is sighing. You think so dear? Really? Yes, thanks.

And so that that is really basically what I'm going to be waiting to get in next month. So I'm hoping before before is it 22nd of February when the boxing on before the big, big night of boxing in Dubai. I will have my DNA test results.

And what I want to do when I get it, I want to open it and do make a podcast as I open the package, just so that my initial response is captured. You know, and my initial reactions are natural. Yeah, that'd be cool.

I don't know, it might not be but I'd like to do more stuff like this. I'm going to look to see what else is out there. What's available, what kind of tests and stuff.

I'll tell you something that's thrown me off today. I drink bottled water, I get through quite a bit of water in a day. Hence the my toilet asking for a pay rise.

And I I've been using I've gone from I can't I don't always get the same bottle of water depends what's available. I've been drinking. What is it? Well, that's old Buxton.

I've been drinking Buxton water for the last week or so. And now I've moved on to it's Sainsbury's still British spring water. So it's their own brand or whatever.

And the Buxton has a screw on lid. This one has a flippy up lid. Oops, that metal thing has to go.

I'll tell you, it's really getting in the way. I'll have to remove that. It's it's really thrown me off having to flip it.

So keep trying to turn it. Guaranteed, when I go back to Buxton again, I'll be trying to flip it instead of turning it. Just just I need some consistency.

Anyway, I'm now going to make myself some food. What else does a parent or discover what side of your family your matches are on? I also said that apparently, it might be worth signing up to get more information once I've got my DNA results. But it always depends doesn't it depends on who else in my DNA line has kind of, you know, done a DNA test, who's joined that.

I just think it'd be so cool if everybody just got on board and did it. Well, and just I don't know, maybe it was if it was with AI. The simple fact is, I say simple fact, but I kind of been following AI for a few years now, or the latest advancements and I'm not I don't understand a lot of it, but I do follow it.

I try to, I try to follow it. But they if they could take if they got like a DNA sample blood sample or something of everybody on the planet, AI could find cures that would take thousands of years. They could potentially find cures within weeks.

Because they can see what thing was, where's the common, what's the commonality? And then they can go, okay, what do we need to do? And I don't know, I know I'm being very simplistic with that. But I think it's amazing that we just love to see some kind of world truce, where everybody, every country all gets together and says, you know, let's just get this done. Let's, let's work on this and find a way to help everybody.

And I love the idea of moving out into the space, the space out into space, not Mars necessarily, but there are planets out there that do have a livable atmosphere as far as they're aware. They found at least one planet that's similar to us. But it's I think it's three and a half times bigger.

But it's got the same, same chemicals, like structure, as this planet has, including water as well, I think. So, but it's a long way away. But what I was thinking is, if you got a spaceship, and you put solar panels on top of that, and got it just to travel around the sun, to keep traveling, and no limit to how fast it can go.

And it's completely powered by the sun. And the more power gets, the faster it goes, faster it goes. And then you just let it run and just aim it to where you want it to go and let it go.

And you might be able to reach a different galaxy or universe or whatever, in maybe a couple of days, travel millions of miles, because it's the speeds that good. I don't know. Just a thought.

Can't be that difficult to do. If someone like me can think it up, someone out there should be able to just go and do it. Go on, just get it done.

Or as Captain Leucard would say, make it so. I've got a little taste for Star Trek today for some reason. I wonder why.

Right. Well, that's me done. I don't know how long I've been talking for, but it is definitely time for me to eat some food.

So I'm going to say thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself, because you do deserve to be happy. Be gentle with yourself and do something nice, just for you.

And tomorrow is Q&A Friday. I've got seven questions already. If you've got any other questions, please, between now and probably tomorrow afternoon UK time, you can add a few more questions on my Jason Newland's Boring Group, and I will attempt to answer all of them.

So I'll speak to you again tomorrow. Lots of love. Bye.