#99 Relaxation Hypnosis for Stress, Anxiety & Panic Attacks - #BeKind - (Jason Newland) (18th February 2020)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is relaxation hypnosis for stress, anxiety and panic attacks. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes and please subscribe to this podcast. Now, I'm going to do something topical today.

So in the future, well when you listen to this it will be the future won't it, but you know in years to come it might not be, you know it might not kind of, the first bit might not make sense due to what I'm referring to. But at the moment, and I'm going to mention suicide but I'm not going to talk about suicide.

I'm just going to mention a celebrity that just just died and and basically it's a TV celebrity and now there's a lot of there's like a hashtag now, uh be kind, aimed at trying to, well I've looked at it, it's on Twitter, aimed at maybe getting people to think before they post horrible stuff online about each other or towards each other or aimed at each other or aimed at other people, including the press and the kind of things that they write about celebrities.

But I would say it's not just celebrities that get a hard time by the press, basically anyone that's written about and sort of in the local press as well. It's, I don't know, newspapers are not famously known for getting things right, to getting correct information and I'll tell you a little bit about my knowledge of the press in a minute maybe. But it just got me thinking because I have talked about being kind in previous recordings and I've been ending my recordings on remember to be kind to yourself.

You know we do that for quite a while so I'm taking responsibility for that word kind. Yes I invented it, of course not. But it got me thinking, okay perhaps I should, you know I talk about being kind to yourself, I haven't really talked about being kind to other people.

Well I have, but perhaps I don't know, maybe it's worth looking at. It's worth looking at the results that can come from cruelty to others or how it feels to someone to have been cruel to us. And I've seen, I actually was in the newspaper in, this is completely, it's unrelated really to the topic but it is in a sort of vague way.

I used to do stand-up comedy in the 90s, not in my 90s, in the 90s, you know, between 91 and 98 I was in London doing stand-up comedy or at least attempting to. And the one night, it was a New Act night where comedians were just trying out new material and I was there. It was downstairs at the King's Head in, I don't know where, is it Islington?

I forget where it was.

Anyway, this reporter came up to me and said, and to another comedian, and said, we'd like to do an article on you. We'd like to do, you know, a newspaper article on you. I said, okay.

And I'm not sure if it was at that place but basically they said, where are you going to be where we can film you? So I said, well, yeah, you can come. Come to this next gig and it might be come back the next week, next Thursday evening. Anyway, the reporter came along, took photographs of me and the other comedian and yeah, really friendly, did a little interview with us individually and said, oh, it'll be in the, and this was like a proper, it wasn't a local newspaper, it was the Independent, which was a national newspaper.

And they said, and it was kind of more highbrow as well. It wasn't tabloid, it was but I used to read it. I used to read the Independent because it wasn't biased towards, it didn't seem to be biased towards any political like far right, far left kind of ideology.

Just, I thought more factual, you know, just gave the news as it was but more in depth than would be maybe in some of the other papers, the ones with pictures. And anyway, the newspaper article came out and it was a double, yeah, it was kind of like the middle, I think it was a double spread, not the whole double spread, but there's a big picture of me.

For some reason, they took a picture of me in there.

It's a black and white picture. I had long hair, ponytail and I was smoking a cigarette. Really cool picture, actually.

But the headline was, Meet Britain's Worst Comedian. That was the headline or Meet Britain's Worst Comic. It was something like that.

Basically, Meet Britain's Worst Comedian. And in the article they were reading, they were, that they wrote, they actually were saying that the worst comedian part was referring to the other bloke. But with me, they were saying, well, we don't know what he's saying, but the audience are laughing and so am I. Because I used to be quite rude, you know, with the comedy I did.

So that was the reporter's words. What he's saying, what Jason's saying is horrible, but the audience are laughing and so am I. That was his words. Yeah, the headline was Meet Britain's Worst Comedian.

And this was in 1993. And I'd spent three years getting to the point where I started to be doing quite well. I say, well, you know, for me, I started to get a little bit of respect and started to get people wanting to give me money to perform.

Only a few people, but it was still starting to kind of get okay. Started to have some really good gigs and everything. And then I became the laughing stock of the comedy circuit because of that newspaper article.

And I started off being a laughing stock at the comedy circuit when I first started. And then, you know, eventually I started to become okay, pretty, I don't use the word good, but okay. So that ruined, pretty much ruined my comedy career and my confidence.

I never, I never recovered from it. I still kept going for a few years, but intimately, I didn't put the same energy into it after that. So I still performed in 94, 95, 96, a little bit, 97.

But, you know, there's something about that because people started gossiping about me and being cruel about me and saying horrible things and mocking me, the other comedians and the club owners and stuff. And the, we didn't have internet then, but if we had, I've had Facebook and Twitter, I would have been ridiculed by the other people, the other comedians. And I wasn't a celebrity or famous or anything, but I was known on the circuit because of the kind of act I did.

So I was very young, but I was very rude and very, I don't know, memorable, I suppose, for being whatever I was. But anyway, this is probably giving you too much information, but I have a little bit of understanding, a tiny, tiny, tiny little bit of understanding of how a newspaper can really cause harm. But a newspaper article can really cause harm.

And that caused me tremendous harm, emotionally. And I wanted my career to be in comedy and it ended up not being, whether it might, I don't know if it could have been, but I really, you know, I believed in myself until that. And then, you know, everything kind of went a bit not so great.

So for someone to be a celebrity, to be famous, and to be in the internet era, to be in, you know, I've seen people on Facebook be so horrible to each other, like vicious, not even talking about celebrities, just normal people like me, you know, people just generally putting on Facebook, Facebook, vilest, most horrible things about their ex-boyfriend or their ex-girlfriend, or things like that, really personal stuff, which is just, it doesn't seem, doesn't seem right.

See, I come on here and I talk about my personal life. But I don't talk about other people's personal lives.

I don't go into detail about my family. And I don't go into detail about friends, because it's not my right to do that. It's their, you know, their personal life.

I'll talk about stuff that's involved me. But at the same time, who's got the right to talk about me in my life? I haven't got the right to talk about you. I haven't got the right to be cruel to you in public or online.

So it's, I don't know, that's what kind of comes up in my head when I think about the kindness, be kind, hashtag be kind. And that's going around at the moment. And it's really not about the celebrity that died.

That's kind of, that was the trigger. And the same as the Me Too movement, you know, the hashtag Me Too. And it started off with, you know, a very famous, extremely famous case in the news.

And then it grew to where the general public were getting involved. So that's kind of what seems to be happening with this. It's a completely, I know it's a different thing.

I'm not comparing the two. But I'm just comparing it in the sense of the hashtag, the way it spreads, the message. And the message seemed to start out from the other celebrities saying, it's disgusting the way that she was treated.

And basically, for those in other countries, it's a celebrity that she got into some kind of domestic issue with her boyfriend at Christmas. And so she got arrested or whatever and went to court. Her boyfriend didn't even want charges pressed.

But then she was hounded by the press. She lost a job that she had on telly. And she was, the thing is she's been in programmes that I don't really watch, like Celebrity Come Dancing or Celebrity, yes, Strictly Come Dancing.

So I don't even know the name of it, which is the most popular television programme in England. I don't think there is a more popular programme than Celebrity Come Dancing. That's kind of the top one, I think.

And she won that, I think, a couple of years ago. She used to host the X Factor after party thing. She used to be on children's TV.

So she was on a lot of things that I didn't actually get to see her on. So I don't really know her as a celebrity. If Simon Cowell, I know Simon Cowell or Dermot O'Leary, there's some people that are kind of clearly, you know, we have our own celebrities that we like, don't we? That we kind of maybe relate to or that we see on telly regularly.

And it's the same as like, for example, Steve Allen is someone that I listen to on the radio, on LBC. If he was suddenly to die, I'd be devastated. Or Nick Abbott, who I listen to on LBC at the weekend.

It'd be devastating because I'm used to hearing his voice, both of those people. And I almost feel like I know them, even though I don't really. But when you hear someone's voice every day, five, six days a week, for hours at a time, sometimes, or maybe just an hour at a time, it's just like, well, you feel like you know them, don't you? So a lot of people have been affected by this celebrity, the lady that died.

And so celebrity friends have come out and said, we've got to stop this, she was hounded. And, you know, they've talked about their own experiences. And the be kind hashtag has come out.

But it's starting to spread in a sense of, well, let's look at what, not only what people say towards celebrities online, like, you know, Facebook, Twitter, but also what, you know, politicians and other people that get a really, really hard time. But generally people, see, I don't get a hard time on Twitter, because I've got very few followers, and I think like 726 followers or something. And hardly anybody even looks or likes my posts when I put them on there.

I think two people regularly like my posts. Facebook, I've got a lot more people that are on, you know, on my on my Facebook page, but rarely ever get anything negative on there. Never get anything really horrible.

I say never occasionally, but it's really rare. YouTube used to be the place. I used to get occasionally really disgusting things posted on YouTube, on my videos.

Sort of saying, oh, you look like a serial killer, or you look like a paedophile, or you look those kind of things, like the kind of thing that you wouldn't say to my face. You wouldn't say to anybody's face, because you know, you're going to get punched. Basically, you wouldn't just go up to someone and say, oh, you look like a rapist, because they're going to hurt, they're going to hit you, aren't they?

So, but online, it's okay to just type that in, feel safe to do it.

And in my lifetime, I've never experienced anything like it. This is the first time, you know, since the internet started, I mean, but not even the internet since Facebook, and YouTube. I didn't have, I didn't feel this experience on Myspace, or any of the other places before Facebook, and YouTube.

And I've seen it on Twitter. They're the three main places. I'm not on Instagram, and some of the other places, because I don't really do pictures and stuff.

Some of the horrible things that people post, it's vicious. It's really, and we all know, I don't want to tell you this, you know this. So be kind.

I'm going to keep going back to the hashtag be kind. So that I can set the recordings at least a little bit sense, you know, makes a little bit of sense. And because you could say, what's this got to do with relaxation? What's this got to do with stress and anxiety? And yeah, maybe, maybe it hasn't, but maybe it has.

Because guaranteed that the people that end up killing themselves, because they've been hounded online, before they got to that point, they were under huge amounts of stress. You know, that's a stress, a stress level that is as much as can be, as much as there can be. There's no higher stress level than someone that ends up doing something as terrible as that to themselves.

So yeah, it has got a lot to do with stress. Because bullying, isn't it? You know, I actually, I've had cyberbullying in the past. I had someone hound me on YouTube.

And it's happened a couple of times, because I've been on YouTube for a long time, different YouTube channels. And there was one person and they were hounding me. Every single video I put on, and every old video, they went to every single video, and were posting horrible messages.

I even had someone, you see the extremes people go, I had someone phone me, because I was a therapist on, you know, so they obviously got went online, found my telephone number. And they phoned me up, left a message. So I woke up in the morning, listened to this voicemail message, and they trolled me.

And they were kind of mimicking me doing hypnosis recording. I've even had, I found a video where this woman made a video on YouTube, recorded it, named it up my name, the title. Looks like she'd even started a new whole YouTube channel just to do this.

And was sitting there slagging me off to her friends, talking about how the worst thing on YouTube and how pathetic I am and all this. That's a lot of effort to go to, isn't it? I'm thinking, what have I done? What did I personally do to her? And the answer is nothing. She lives in another country.

Chances of me ever having met her is very, very slim. And I don't know, I mean, could be an ex-girlfriend, but I just, I don't think I've even been that bad to deserve that kind of treatment. So, so it's been weird and I've had it light.

I've had it very easy when it comes to this stuff, compared to a lot of other people. And I know comparing one person's problems with another person's problems isn't helpful in a lot of occasions, but on this one, I wasn't hugely affected, I'll be honest. It didn't affect me hugely.

It was annoying. I did get upset with the person that was hounding me, but I got into a routine of block, delete, block, delete. And I did that with every single person that was rude.

And eventually people stopped doing it. So block, delete, block, delete. And I did that on YouTube.

I did that on Facebook. I used to have some messages on Facebook that were weird. You know, but again, I don't anymore.

And YouTube seems to have cleaned up a little bit. I might be wrong, but it seems to have calmed itself down a little bit compared to what it used to be like with the, I don't know, I think it, and also Facebook has, but I think that's because with Facebook, you have to actually put your name. You can't just, you can't be anonymous on Facebook.

You kind of can, but you can't. Of course you can set up a, you can get a random email address and do it that way. But generally, they're trying to get you to give your telephone number so you can make sure that you can keep your Facebook safe.

And most people have pictures of themselves. And if someone doesn't have a picture on a Facebook page, then I assume they're not a real person and they're not, I wouldn't be friends with someone that didn't have a picture. And of course, it doesn't have to be of them.

It might be of their children or their grandparents or whatever. I've got Andre. But some people leave it blank.

I get a little bit curious about people like that. So I never, I never add anyone that wants to be friends that has zero picture. I've always had that rule.

That's just a personal thing. Be kind. Hashtag be kind.

My question would be why is suddenly now loads of people have been bullied, cyber bullied. It's been a huge topic for years and years and years. However, maybe it's because what I don't know, because I'm thinking a celebrity being pushed into killing themselves or being pushed into ending up dead has happened many times over the years, you know, being pushed by the press, hounded by the press.

So I'm kind of wondering why, what's kind of triggered now? Maybe, maybe it's because of the younger audience because Love Island has a very young audience. So the person who just died was the presenter of that show just before December. So they've seen someone that they care about, someone that they've grown up watching on television being hounded by the press and maybe being, you know, trolled online.

So now the younger generation are saying that's enough. No more. We're not putting up with it anymore.

So maybe that's what's happened. Maybe that's why it's happening. Because the celebrities in the past, maybe they didn't have the audience that this lady had, this TV presenter had.

Maybe this is the audience that actually is going to say, yeah, we're going to do something about this. So be kind. That's the message that's being spread online, to be kind to, it's kind of the old, I don't know if you ever heard anyone say this, but if you've got nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Of course, I mean, that's no way to live your life, is it? I mean, you can't always have nice things to say. But it's quite a nice idea to not be horrible. I mean, it's, I don't think it's that, it's not that hard, is it really? Just to, just to not be a knob.

You know what I mean? I don't think it's that complicated to be a nice person. Is it? I personally don't think it is. I might be wrong, but I don't think it is.

So being kind, I suppose, I suppose I'm spreading it from not just being kind to yourself, but being kind to others, treating others the way that you're treating yourself. So if you're treating yourself kindly, then you're more likely to treat other people kindly. And it's not because it has to start with you.

Because, you know, there's the old saying, isn't there? The old cliche, where if you can't love yourself, you'll never love anyone else, which is complete bullshit. People love to say these old sayings, like it means something. It doesn't mean anything.

That's crap. There are people that hate themselves, but love the bones of their children. I said the bones, it sounds a bit weird, doesn't it? That's a saying up north, but they love their parents, or they love their children, or they love their pet, love their little ferret.

You know, the idea that someone has to love themselves in order to love someone else. No, it's not true. So if anyone says that to you, because people say that to me, you know, and I spent all my life, I never loved myself.

And to be told, well, you can't love your grandmother because you don't love yourself, which is basically what they were saying to me. They didn't say it in those words. And I thought, bollocks to that, that's not true.

I absolutely, I hate myself at that time. But I love my grandmother. So the idea is you can't love someone unless you love yourself.

Absolute crap. However, you're probably going to feel the ability to be more loving towards other people. If you feel that love towards yourself.

It's more cases if the love is moving freely. If it's not blocked, then maybe it can be reached out to more people, perhaps. And you can be kind to other people.

Even if you're not being kind to yourself. Again, someone could be spent all day working in a hospice, looking after people, helping people in the last hours of their life, holding their hand, doing all that stuff, and then going home and drinking themselves into a stupor full of self-loathing. So again, the idea is you have to have to be kind to yourself in order to be kind to someone else.

No. But it definitely helps. And it's definitely preferable.

And I'd say to anyone, if you're helping someone, if you're working in a hospice, or doing any kind of thing, anything like that, how could you not care about yourself? You're an amazing person. I mean, genuinely, I don't think anyone would be able to disagree with that. Anyone that spends all day helping someone, that's a hero.

So anyway, I don't even class that as an opinion. That's just a fact. That's a fact.

Someone that helps people. And we all help people at times. But some people devote their whole life to it.

You know, some people, like a doctor, or a nurse, or a firefighter, you know, whatever, a paramedic. Of course, they have their different reasons for doing it. Some people won't do it out of kindness, but they're still being kind.

They might not do it out of love, but they're still, or compassion. They're still showing compassion. Some people won't be in the police force because they want to help people.

They might just want to be in it because they want to be in control, and they want to be able to boss people around and feel important. But they're still going to be helping people. They're still going to be saving lives, regardless of what their intention is, what the reason they're doing it for is.

I've known nurses that have very little interest in the well-being of people. Whether it's because they're jaded because of having done the job for too long. It's not that they don't care, but they just kind of don't care anymore, you know.

They don't have that passion. They don't have that interest. And you can get that, but they're still helping people.

And if you go into a doctor's surgery, the receptionists on a doctor's surgery, I've been to it. I've moved around quite a bit. And it seems to, I think, it seems that some of the doctor's surgery receptionists seem to go on a course, like the same course on how to talk down to the patients and be very impatient with the patients, and almost in an uncaring way, which I don't quite understand.

Because it's something I've noticed that a lot of people have said that to me as well. And no one really gets it. Because the one thing you need if you go into a doctor's surgery, is kindness, compassion, like extra, extra kindness.

Just like a small child that's going into a foster, to foster parents, maybe while, you know, his mum's in hospital after having a car accident, and it's going to be in there for maybe six months. So that, you know, the small child is being looked after by complete strangers. That little kid needs extra love.

Not just regular love, they need extra, extra, extra, more and more, a higher level of care and kindness. Which is what patients need when they go into the doctor's surgery. Because they might be there for an ingrown toenail, but they also might be going in there to get the results of a biopsy.

You know, it's, I don't know, it's the kindness. I don't want to get onto the bandwagon of, bandwagon, the bandwagon of putting down society and people and, oh, we're not as caring as we used to be, and society doesn't care about each other anymore. Because human beings are human beings.

And there's lots of social issues and social reasons why things maybe have changed. But I don't think humans have changed. I don't think any less people would go to help someone that was in need as any other time in history.

So there's a school near where I live, if that school was on fire during the day with the kids in there, no less amount of people would go to help than would have done 20 years ago, or 100 years ago, or 60 years ago. There wouldn't be people thinking, oh, I don't care. There'd be no less caring or kindness.

So, you know, I think inside us, we've got that kindness. It's there. I'll tell you what I noticed, though, a few years ago.

It seems, it seemed as if being kind was almost like a disability to some people. I think I've been judged more, in some ways, on the things I've done where I've been kind than the things I've done where I've been a complete arse. Now André's come out to share his, I should stay asleep.

So I don't understand that, you know, doing these recordings since 2006, I've been mocked by friends, family, almost like I'm just stupid doing it. Why am I doing it? Why am I not charging? Why am I doing it for free? What's the point? It's one person tell me, oh, no one appreciates things that are free. They won't value it.

And so to be mocked and put down for doing something like this. Yet some of the same people would accept me if I went on a shoplifting spree, or if I stole a car and crashed it into someone's house by accident, of course. So I'm not saying that they'd be proud of me.

It's almost, I apologise for the sound of them running around. Anyway, hashtag be kind. Hashtag be kind.

So hashtag be tired. So what does that mean? And it seems, I don't know, it seems kind of, it seems strange that in 2020, that something like that's coming out. You know, after all these years of existence, or after all these years on the internet, after all these years of newspaper harassments, press harassments, tabloids and celebrities, now suddenly, perhaps we should be kind to each other.

I mean, it's a great thing, but I just wonder, why has it taken so long for a big group of people to all come together, and, I mean, it has happened, you know, with Buddhists and, you know, as a collective, be kind to each other, be kind to other people. With a lot of different religions, it's at the core of spirituality and religion. It's quite often to be kind to other people and be kind to each other.

Not always necessarily be kind to yourself. It depends on the religion, I guess. So yeah, I just, I can't quite get my head around, you know, in the sense of the, I'm not a celebrity, I'm not famous, I don't know what that would be like to be hounded.

Although I did have a little taste of what it was like for someone else. There was a lady who I had dinner with in 1998, pretty early, January, February, 1998. I just remember it.

And about three years earlier, she'd been in the newspapers, because she'd had an affair with a minister in the parliament, you know, an MP, but it was high up, you know, a very famous MP. Well, anyway, she'd, you know, she'd sold the story to the newspaper and made money out of it. But at the same time, they were about to leak it anyway, so she kind of tried to sort of cash in on it, I guess.

But she was hounded. You know, it kind of backfired on her. And she was hounded to the point where I didn't realize I spoke to her about it.

And she said she had to leave the country. She went and lived in Australia. So I'm sitting here with her.

She was with her boyfriend. And she was just so funny. She was an absolute joy to talk to.

She was really nice. And so we're just having dinner. It was in a comedy club.

She was basically a friend of a friend of my friend, that kind of situation. So she told me, you know, that she gets hassle when she comes back to the UK and she stayed away for ages because she was mistreated in public by the public. So she was saying to me how she'd had this hassle in the past.

And she went to the toilet. And she came back and she was all flustered. And I said, You're right.

She said, No, she was threatened by two women in the toilet. Yeah, because of what had happened in the past. They were like calling names and stuff.

And then it's not funny, but it's just really surreal. Probably about 10 minutes later, a group of lads that were at a table stood up and started singing an anthem, because her story was connected to a football club. And they had football chants.

And she was part of a football chant at the time. And they started singing that football chant at the top of their voice. I just felt for her.

Now, this is before the internet. Again, and I'm just thinking, if the internet had been around there, then would she have got through it? Which you know, would she have crumbled? I don't mean that in a crumbled sounds like quite a weird term, doesn't it? Almost like giving up or something. That's not a good term.

But if she had to move to another country, the other side of the world, to get away from it, imagine what it would have been like with the internet. The horrible things that people would have said to her, especially if they'd say that, go up to her face and say it. Wow.

I was just honestly, it was surreal. I couldn't believe it. And it wasn't wasn't my club, I'd kick the blokes out and kick them all out.

But you know, it wasn't my club wasn't my place to do that. Whoa, it was it was very horrible. And she was really nice.

She was a very young woman when it happened. And regardless of anyone's moral standing is, you know, we all make mistakes. But she was punished proper, proper punished for that.

And I can't get my head around the mentality of the people that were being vicious to her. Where's the kindness? And I don't mean kindness, because kindness, I don't think it's about going up to someone and saying, Oh, I love you. When you don't, or I really like your work.

When you don't like their work, that's just being false. I think sometimes being kind is when you're thinking, that's that knobhead that I don't like this unfunny on telly. But not saying it.

And thinking I'd be cruel to say that. And who am I to judge him anyway? I don't know what he's really like. That's just what I've read about.

I've read that he's, he does this. I read that in a newspaper. So kindness can sometimes be just not saying anything.

I think just not typing those words into the keyboard, calling celebrity a horrible name, or wishing horrible things to happen to them. And I don't know how much of that actually, I've got a friend, remember there was, there was a few young lads and they were being rude to a Chinese lady in the park. And I think they were making fun of her being Chinese, basically, which is horrible.

It's horrible, there's no way around that. But they were young lads, they were probably like young teenagers, 14, something like that, acting stupid, trying to impress each other probably. And regardless of whether that's, doesn't make it okay, but I'm saying it's, that's what happened.

There wasn't any physical damage. And they did get in trouble. Because the police came and they did get in trouble for it.

Because she really hammered them, she started hitting them with a stick. So, and I was talking about it with my friend. And she said, I hope they burn in hell.

I hope they get run over by a car. I hope they get cancer. And I thought, what? The viciousness that came out of her mouth.

I didn't expect her to say nice things. I hope they get a good job when they leave school. Or, you know, I didn't expect that.

Although, you know, I hope they do do all right in their life. So that they don't ever do that again. And they realize that what they did was wrong.

But there's that, that mentality that can sometimes. And with some people, and I've done it myself in the past. I don't do it really anymore.

But because it was an automatic response. There was, I think it was almost medieval. Some kind of caveman response, must kill everybody that doesn't agree with me kind of weird kind of, you know, nonsensical, non thinking response.

But I think with using your brain, it can change things a bit. So I think maybe, you know, kindness for her would have been to just noticed her saying those things, and realized how awful what she just said was. But she didn't.

She was focusing on the other person. So hashtag kindness. I suppose the thing with this is we all get this the catastrophizing isn't there? The thinking that everything's too much, and nothing's ever going to change, or it's going to get worse and worse.

When in fact, everything does change. It's kind of one of the universal truths is everything changes. It has to.

There's no choice in that. And it's kind of both the best and the worst part of life, I would say. Because when things are going brilliant, and then something changes, it's kind of the worst thing, possibly, at that time.

But you know what, when things are going really, really bad, knowing that things are going to actually improve is the best thing in the world. And it's worth remembering that and cling on to it. So, you know, I understand how some people would want things never to change, because they want to manage to get into that little pocket of joy, of happiness and stay in there forever, which is unrealistic.

But you know, if you take the gamble, and accept, say, okay, I want a life where everything stays the same forever. And you're unable to get into that little pocket of joy. You know, it's like a little game of golf, isn't it? If you can't get into the hole you want the first time, you might end up in a different hole.

Yes, then you're stuck there. And that hole might be one of pain, bereavement, or, you know, suffering. Then you start thinking, oh, perhaps I don't want this to last forever.

So, you know, things changing all the time is a good thing. It just doesn't always feel like it. Especially when things are going really, really well.

But remembering that when things aren't going so well, it's going to change. It has to. There's no option.

This is not an opinion. This is not a belief system. This is a universal fact.

And you haven't got to believe it for it to be true. You can go to bed tonight and it's dark. And when you wake up, at some point during the day, it's going to become light.

You know, it depends what time of the year is. The sun will be up in the sky. In fact, the sun's up in the sky the whole time.

That's a universal truth as well, isn't it? It's always there. So is the moon. It's just we don't see them, you know, at certain times only.

And really, to believe that things are never going to change is to believe, is to have the child, is to have that really tiny child's mind set where they're in their bedroom, they turn the light off, and they believe, they think that all the stuff's disappeared. You know, all their toys have disappeared, their wardrobes disappeared, even the beds disappeared, the ceiling, the halls have disappeared, the walls have disappeared, the floors disappeared, because they can't see it, because the light's turned off.

They turn the light on again, and everything reappears again.

That would be that mentality of actually believing that, to believe in everything's disappeared when you turn the light off. Or a dog. When you go out, the dog doesn't know if you're coming back.

Apparently, dogs can't tell time. Not, I mean, they don't have watches today, but they don't know if you're coming back. That's why a lot of them make so much of a fuss, because they're not sure.

But as an adult, you don't have that mentality. As an adult, the reality is things are always changing. That's the reality.

And that's the fact. So there's no opinions, no belief system needed. It's just fact.

And I love that fact, and I don't like it at the same time. Sometimes, I really don't like it, you know. But other times, like the other day, I was sitting here, I was, I felt stressed.

I couldn't focus on anything, couldn't even watch television. Felt hopeless, felt everything really, really crappy. But I knew somewhere in my head that it was going to change.

And I went to bed. And a few hours later, I got out of bed, and it changed. And it's just remembering that.

Even if it means sticking a big sign on the wall, things will change. Or having a tattoo on your arm. Of course, I'm not saying get a tattoo, that'd be totally up to you.

That's probably nicer tattoos to have, maybe. But something to remind you to be kind. It seems strange in a way that we need to be, do we need to be reminded to be kind? Clearly, the people that are doing the hashtag be kind, do believe that we need to remind people.

I can understand the need to remind each other. We might remind people to be kind to themselves. Because I don't think that's a natural thing.

It's almost something that maybe needs to be learned. But I'd say being kind to other people is more of a natural, instinctive thing. You see someone struggling to get on a bus, the natural thing would be to help them.

Even if you don't, you might have that inside your brain to help them. I mean, I made myself look really silly. A while back on the bus, there was a lady and she was in a wheelchair, electric, mechanical wheelchair, and she was on the bus.

She pressed the buzzer because she wanted to get off. And the bus driver got off the bus, put the ramp down, and she couldn't undo the belt. She had some kind of belt on, which was attached to the bus.

Some kind of seatbelt thing, which I didn't know they had. And she said, can someone help me please? I'm stuck because you couldn't undo it. And the bus driver said, I can't, I'm not allowed to touch you.

He was like, put his arms up like a panzer, I'm not allowed to. I said the wrong thing, but I meant it in a nice way. I stood up and said, I don't mind touching you.

And it sounded a bit weird saying it out loud like that. And people were laughing. But I was at the back of the bus and no one at the front or even in the middle, even seen, got up.

However, I do believe that a lot of those people wanted to help. But there's something about being kind, it's almost frowned upon. I don't want to be kind because I might get judged.

And I really believe that is the case. And sometimes it is the case. That's what I believe.

I might be wrong. It's just a theory. That perhaps something's changed in society.

Or maybe it's always been like that. I don't know. But it's something that I've noticed.

There seems to be less, more of a reluctance to step forward and help. There always, always will be someone that does it. But it seems to be less.

And whether that's fear, whether that's embarrassment, maybe, I don't know. But ultimately, I do believe that most people do want to help. And they are feeling kindness inside towards that other person that needs help.

But something's stopping them from doing it. A fear of helping others. So the hashtag be kind could be changed to hashtag don't be scared of being kind.

End the fear of being kind. Hashtag what's stopping you from being kind. Hashtag don't let anything stop you from being kind.

Or it could just be hashtag notice when you're feeling kindness towards another person. So even if you don't do anything, and someone else does, then it's fine. You don't need to have done anything, because someone else has done it.

So maybe you can feel good inside thinking, well, I did feel kindness and I did want to help. Maybe next time I will. Oh, there's a few little ideas.

I still managed to waffle on for ages. I just, I suppose a little bit affected, not affected, but just interested in the new energy that kind of comes out of some of these public traumatic events. And like, you know, a very popular celebrity passing away, and how the public respond.

So yeah. So I've been saying be kind to yourself. And I've been that's kind of been part of my message for a time.

And I guess I don't focus as much on being kind to others. I think part of the reason is because I don't know, I feel that maybe it doesn't feel right to tell other people what to do to other people. In some ways, but I feel quite comfortable making suggestions for how you should treat yourself kindly.

Maybe it's partly like a judgment, maybe I feel like I'm judging someone when I'm saying, be kind to other people. But if I say, and you can say, well, I am kind to other people, there's a reason why I don't do it. And you don't know me.

However, if I say to you, be kind to yourself, there is no argument against that. Nothing you can say can argue against it. Because it's important that you do it.

Again, I come from a factual perspective. You need, I need, we all need to be kinder to ourselves. Whether you need to be kind to other people, that's for you to decide.

But you can take my word for it, you do deserve to be kinder to yourself. And that needs to be a lifelong practice, to find new ways to be kind to yourself, and to keep it going. Because just being kind to yourself today is not enough.

Just like having a bath today, it's fine for today. It's Monday, but come Friday or Sunday, I'm going to be proper stinky. I'm going to need a bath before then.

But I'm just saying, if that was the only bath I had for the whole week, it's only good for really a day. And I'll start to smell really pongy. Just like being kind to yourself once a week is not enough.

Be kind to yourself every day. And I'm not talking about all day, every day. Because you know, we need to get realistic here.

If you could be kind to yourself all day, every day, brilliant. But doing it for a short period every day, doing something nice, it sinks in. Because what you do consciously, purposefully, then becomes unconscious and automatic behavior.

So hashtag be kind. And that's the end of this recording. So I realize again, I've waffled on, gone in various different directions, got a little bit angry with my ferret running around, and managed to put him into the bedroom.

So he's scratching at the door. I don't know what's wrong with him today. He's hyper, really is.

So I'm going to go thank you for listening. And I'm going to end it with what I've been talking about. Remember to be kind to yourself.

And you do deserve to be happy. Sometimes I say and I feel like, oh, am I just saying this for the sake of it? Is this just another soundbite? Am I just like, you deserve to be happy? Like, you know, but you do. And I've explained why in the past.

So I won't go into it again. But you do deserve to be happy. And being kind to yourself is compulsory.

Sorry. It's not up for conversation, although I will keep talking about it. It's compulsory, it's something you need to do.

It's as important as eating, going to the toilet and breathing. So thank you for listening. Take care of yourself and I shall speak to you very soon.

Lots of love. Bye.