#74 Relaxation Hypnosis for Stress, Anxiety & Panic Attacks - (Jason Newland) (15th January 2020)

Hello, welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name's Jason Newland. This is relaxation hypnosis for stress, anxiety, panic attacks. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

If you like what I do, please leave a review on my website. Maybe a written one or a video review, if you fancy it. And if you'd like to help towards the running costs of this free service, then please go to my website as well.

Plus, all of my recordings are on there, available to stream for free and to download. So you know what I was thinking? You know what I was thinking today? What I was thinking is, what's the question? Do we give ourself enough credit for our successes? Now, of course, I can't talk for you. I can't sort of answer that question.

But what's your answer to that? Do you give yourself enough credit for your successes? And some people may answer, well, what successes? I'm not successful. I haven't got a job. I haven't got any money, whatever.

But doesn't it depend on how you perceive success? Now, if you've overcome a very difficult period in your life, if you've got through it, got through the upper end, then isn't that a success? If you've had an anxiety attack and you've managed to get through it, which you clearly have because you're listening to this, that's a success. So that's really, that's the point of this recording. And I don't know your personal stories.

I don't know everybody's life and what they've been through. But I do sometimes wonder that, well, question, I suppose myself in some ways, the focus. What do I actually focus on? Do I focus on the successes I've had or do I focus on the illnesses, the problems? So I don't think it's necessarily a case of just focusing on the success, but flipping it on its back or on its belly, whichever way you want to do it.

Turn it upside down. And start looking at what do you class as failures? Now, I used to class myself as a failure because I lost my job due to anxiety and stress and depression and stuff like that. I used to class myself as a failure.

And sometimes I do still because I've got no money. 49, I got, I don't know, 40 pound in the bank. 49 years to get 40, that's less than a pound a year.

That I've saved during my life. But that doesn't make me a failure. It just means that I've got 40 pound in the bank.

It doesn't have to have an emotional connection. We could take a positive view, say, well, I've got 40 pound. That's 40 pound more than I'd have if I had nothing in the bank.

Or I could look at it and say, well, I might have 40 pound in the bank. In 2002, I was earning quite good money by Brazil. Having panic attacks constantly for quite a long period of time.

And I would have given any money in the world to get rid of them. So, what is success, what is failure? And some people can be quite harsh. Not only to others, but to themselves as well.

Classing someone as a failure because they don't own their own home. But then they're gonna be classed themselves as a failure if they don't own their own home. Or if they don't have the correct kind of job.

Or if they don't have the right number of children. Or the kind of car they think they should be driving. I'm kind of moving away from the material aspects of this idea of success and failure.

And I'm not gonna focus on failure. I'm gonna focus on success, our successes. The fact that we're alive is a success story in itself.

There's lots of people that aren't. Billions of people that aren't alive anymore. But we are.

I can walk. And you say, well, how is that a success? It's not something you've done. Not something you've created yourself.

It's not something that you've set your mind out to do. Well, I know I can't get into the mindset of that. But guaranteed, everybody that's walking today put a hell of a lot of effort into learning to walk.

As a toddler, as a young child. Or someone, I mean, you've only got to look at someone that's had gone through an injury, a physical or brain injury, where they have to learn to walk again. It's really, really hard.

But we went through that as a child. And some people might say, yeah, but you don't have to go through the emotional trauma that an adult would learn in. What are toddlers other than one big bundle of emotions continuously churning around? Moving from one, like, intense anger, hatred to laughter to love, kindness.

You've only got to see a toddler, the frustration on their face when they're trying to walk and they keep falling on their bum. But they don't give up. So we are all success stories.

And a lot of it is due to our own attempts, our own work that we've done. Just because we don't remember it, because we were only two, or whatever age children start walking, doesn't mean we can talk. And you might start thinking, oh, am I going to go through every single bodily function? Is he going to start talking about farting in a minute? We can fart, therefore we're a success.

Now, I might come to farting later if I choose, but the fact that we can talk is an amazing thing. Because you think, if you'd have been born anywhere in the world, you'd be speaking that language. And that's a successful brain, that's a successful mind.

We all have the ability to speak any language. Because if you'd have been born in China, if you were born in America, if you had been born in China, you'd speak Chinese or whatever local language there was. So then it's different languages.

Or if you were born in France, you'd speak French. And I'm not going to go through every country. But that's an amazing feat, really.

And it's something we learn. Writing, being able to write, it's something that we've learned. It's not something that comes naturally.

It's not something that you have to learn, you have to be taught it. And it's hard work, but it's fun when you're a kid. You know, when you're little, you see if it's enjoyable.

So we are success stories, all of us. And I don't want to sort of come all over Pollyanna. But actually, there is something to be said on, not just looking on the brighter side, or to be positive about yourself, but look at the reality.

It's not like just make-belief. I'll just wave my hands in the air, by the way, just so you know, do a little marking that word out in the air. It's not make-belief, it's reality.

You are a success. You're a success story. You have skills that other people don't have.

You know how to do some things that millions and millions of people are unable to do naturally. Some of those skills and talents you may not be aware of yet. We all have abilities.

We all have special abilities that kind of shine. Whether it's art, drawing, painting, dancing, languages, driving a car. Some people are just brilliant at driving.

Some people are great at making movies. Some people are great at conversation. They just shine in different ways.

We all have a talent. I say we all have talents, but we all have at least one thing that's just phenomenal, that we're really, really good at. That we really, really shine.

And we find almost comes naturally, although hard work may also be required. In order to tune it and to get the best result and to be the best that you can be in that particular field, whatever it is. You may be the best drawer naturally, but you still may need to learn how to draw.

You may still need to practice to become the best that you can be or to enjoy the process. So from a, I suppose from a stress, anxiety, panicky perspective, perhaps it's more of a self-esteem issue. So instead of feeling, oh, I'm just this, instead of putting ourselves in a category of, I'm just an anxious person, that's it.

Reframing it to, I'm a person, I'm a successful person. I can do some pretty amazing things. I'm talented.

This is something for you to say about yourself. I'm not just bragging about me. This is something for you to say about yourself.

You're a talented person. And you have had anxiety issues in the past. But you're not the anxiety.

There's more to you than that. And you know that anyway. You don't need some stranger like me talking to you on a podcast telling you that because you already know it.

But do you remember it? Do you remember how amazing you are? Do you remember all the times that you've helped other people? Do you remember all the things that you've learnt to do throughout your life which proves that you are a success? And I think there's a degree of trust that may be useful in this situation. To trust that you have made a difference. You've been successful in making a difference in other people's lives.

Even though you may never, ever know about it. You may never, ever hear or see any sign of that. But nevertheless, have trust that you really have made a difference.

As well as those times that you remember, I'm talking about also those times that you don't remember. Times that you couldn't know about because it might have just been a kind word, a kind smile. Maybe you let someone cross the road.

You stopped, let them cross the road. And actually, that made a big difference to their day and to their life. We affect other people just like other people affect us.

Of course, there's ways to, you know, limit. Well, there is damage limitation available when dealing with people so that their negativity doesn't affect us too much. Or if it does affect us, we can reduce that effect that it had and just move on with our lives.

Remembering that that's just what's going on with them. It had nothing to do with us. So how would your life be different? How would it be different as you think about the fact that you are a success? And to maybe celebrate those successes.

And I realize that it might be weird to say, well, I'm gonna celebrate being able to walk. It wouldn't be weird if someone had been in a car crash and had to relearn to walk. That that would be a celebration worthy of a party.

That's, you know, that is a celebration. Because for most of us, it was such a long time ago. And we were, you know, little children learning to walk.

We'd just take it for granted and don't really give it any thought. So that might not be something that you'd wanna kind of celebrate. But it may be something worth acknowledging.

That actually you have been successful many, many, many times in the past. And getting in touch with that success, that feeling of success, that maybe celebrating the times that you've been successful, perhaps in the recent past, can allow your confidence to grow, can allow your self-esteem to improve. Or as I would probably put it, allow you to get in touch with reality a bit more, because the reality is you're an amazing person.

That's the reality. There's all this negativity in the press or TV and all this stuff, trying to make out that humans are mainly horrible, blah, blah, all that stuff, which is untrue. Most people are nice if they get the opportunity to be nice.

Most people don't want hassle, they don't want drama. But also, probably most people would like to have acceptance, maybe some kind of acknowledgement, to be seen, to be heard, to feel important, to feel needed. And not everybody feels that way.

Not everybody feels that they are. So maybe we can start aiming those things that we'd like to have from other people, perhaps, and start giving it to ourselves. So I can sit here in my flat all week long, waiting for someone to bring me food, and they won't, until I get off my bum, go into the kitchen, and prepare myself for food, from food, some food, or go to the shops and get the shopping.

In the same way, instead of waiting for someone to tell you that actually, you're a pretty amazing person, perhaps remind yourself, perhaps think of times in the past when you've helped other people. And instead of thinking, oh, they didn't appreciate it, or I didn't do anything back, they don't help me when I need them, because that's just basically being a child, isn't it? If we'd be an adult, and realise that helping other people doesn't need anything back, because ultimately, you're the one that gains the most from doing it.

It might seem a bit weird, but I really feel that when you help someone else, there's something changes withinside you.

Something changes, almost like a healing, a peacefulness. So that kindness that's directed outside, towards someone else, almost kind of rebounds, but with a much stronger feeling. Feeling that gives you something that maybe you're not aware of, gives you strength that maybe you didn't realise you had, resilience, the ability to keep going, the ability to deal with whatever life presents to you, the ability to keep bouncing back, the ability to laugh, and to enjoy being you, and to appreciate being you.

The ability to acknowledge your own successes, instead of focusing on failures, focusing on the successes. Focusing on how well you're doing. Focusing on the fact that you're doing something to help yourself.

I mean, the one benefit, well, there's probably quite a few benefits, and it's a weird sentence to put together, but there's benefits to anxiety and stress. In a sense, it gets you, you get to know yourself better. You almost get to, it almost forces you to stand back, and maybe stand still for a bit, to calm down and look around, and notice how you're feeling, and realise that perhaps changes are necessary in your life, in order for you to move forward, to have the type of life that you want for yourself.

The type of life where you feel more relaxed, you feel calmer, more at ease within yourself, more confident in your own ability to deal with life in a way that feels almost pleasurable. Even those difficult times, you can get a sense of accomplishment, and a sense of success, because you've got through it. A difficult conversation, you got through it.

A hard day at work, you got through it. Even as much as anxiety, an anxiety attack, you got through it. You came out the other end, and if you came out the other end, that time, you come out the other end next time.

And maybe you start to see where the other end is, and you might think to yourself, or it might even come unconsciously, it might come that you think, well I know where the end is. It's like you know where the door is, so you might as well just go out. If you think about it, you feel like an anxiety attack, because you've got all this new technology now, so you can get smart light bulbs.

So you think of an anxiety attack, like the light, someone switches the light off. But it's in a room, and you don't know where the light switch is. So you're kind of looking around, you're touching things, and it's just not a particularly pleasant experience.

That's an understatement, isn't it? And then maybe eventually you find the light, the light switch, which then you can see where the door is, and you open the door and go out. And you're out of the other end. Then maybe your unconscious mind can start to fit a smart light bulb in each room in your mind, so that when that fogginess, when that darkness just happens, instead of searching around each wall, and trying not to trip up over things, and all the tension that arises because of that, you just say, light bulb on.

Light comes on, then you just see where the door is, open it, and go out of the other end. A lot quicker. So it's just a bunch of ideas.

And sometimes, you know, sometimes I see stuff, or I read something, or I hear, I listen to audios, quite like Audible, and sometimes I'll read something in a book, and it just keeps playing over and over in my mind. Not in a kind of horrible way, but just, oh. And there's a feeling, I can feel it now actually, the feeling on my shoulders, the top of my back, my shoulders, the back of my neck, my arms, across my face.

It's just a lightness, almost tuning in to something that I perhaps don't understand, but at the same time feels really nice, and familiar, just feels pleasant. Almost like a freedom. So maybe, I suppose it's, I think, you know, when you were a kid, and I used to be, if I used to visit places when I was a kid, and I'd be sleeping in a room that I didn't recognise, like I didn't know, I knew it was a room, but I didn't know the outlay of the room.

And there'd be a wardrobe, and things like, and it'd be dark, and I couldn't really make out what things were, because it wasn't my regular bedroom. So I'd switch the light on, have a look around, and then I'd switch the light off again. And every now and then I'd switch the light on, and I'd look around again, and I'd just get my, kind of get a memory, like a little map of the room, then I'd switch the light off.

But knowing that I could switch that light off, on, at any time, gave me that sense of security and safety, which is what I needed. I was a very young child, and at the time I just, being somewhere unfamiliar, being, it's just like being in a situation that's unfamiliar, it's nice to know that you can, turn that light on, so that, you can see your way clear through, any kind of stress or anxiety, that's always available.

Light bulb on, or, relaxation on.

It's almost like a superpower. Is it possible? Is it a Fantastic Four? Fantastic Five or Fantastic Four? Where there's the one that turns into the human torch, and he says, it's flame on, and he turns into the human torch and flies around. It's like the temperature of the sun or something.

Flame on. Relaxation on. Calm on.

Relaxation on. Light bulb on. Safety on.

Now, I'm going to leave you with that, those ideas, and I shall speak to you very soon. So thank you for listening. Just remember, I've got other websites, I've got other podcasts, Sleep Whisper, Hypnosis Podcast, and, what's the other one? Sleep Hypnosis Weekly, and, a few other, like Chronic Pain, and all kinds of things.

Plus this one, of course, which is Groovy. So thank you for listening. Remember, remember this, start thinking, start noticing the things that you are actually successful at, and you can celebrate that success.

Look around your home, maybe things that you've done, things that you've created. It might be, for example, it's a little thing, my television. Now, I'm not a Mr. DIY home maintenance kind of person.

It's well out of my comfort zone. And I had the bracket for about four months sitting in a box before I actually attached it to the wall. And I'm ever so pleased with it.

Really, you know, pleased with myself because I did it. The idea of doing it, I felt stressed about it, I'll be honest. But then I did it.

And it's kind of a success. I put it way too high up at the beginning, and now I've moved it down a bit because I was hurting my neck. I was literally looking up at the clouds.

There's lots of those versions of successes in your life. But lots of small things can add up to a big thing, as we know. So, give yourself some time to maybe think about those successes in your life and get in touch with the confidence that comes with that.

The self-belief that comes with that and grows. So remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy. Lots of love.

Bye.