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Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep with Phinney. Yeah, my name is Jason Newland, very nasal isn't it? My website is jasonnewland.com. It's now, well the Let Me Bore You To Sleep department, department section is complete. Now every day I release a new recording.
You could download them for free. Yay, there's a hero. So what else you can join if you want to join my Facebook page, Jason Newland's Boring Group.
Um, I'm trying to think, please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. I do believe that's all of the introduction. Oh, what are you doing? What? Okay, just, I'm getting a little help from, because it's Trivia Tuesday, getting a little help from ChatGPT to give me some some facts, some trivia.
And I thought what I'll do is I'll do some trivia on Australia. Now, admittedly, some of these may not be correct. Okay, so don't, don't use this as a travel guide.
It might be absolutely rubbish, but I'm going to read it out anyway. So if anything, if I read out anything that's completely untrue, and you find it offensive, then blame ChatGPT, not me. Okay? Because I mean, technically, I could fact check, but I can't be bothered.
It's weird, isn't it? I just, I mean, maybe, maybe I will. Okay, I'll tell you what I'll do. I will fact check.
I'm just thinking I don't want to upset anyone, especially as a lot of my listeners live in Australia. So I don't want to kind of annoy too many people. So I have fact checked.
So I've got them and now fact checked them. So apparently, okay, so some of it's false, some of it's true. I'll read all of them out just so you just for fun.
So the first one is, so this is about Australia. Australia is wider than the moon. So the diameter of the moon is about 3474 kilometers.
And if you're going to do about, then do 350 or 3480. But why three about 3474? You know, it just seems a little bit specific to be have the word about before it. And Australia spans over 4000 kilometers across.
So apparently, that's true. The next one. What? True.
This is true as well. Apparently, the Great Emu War. I've never heard of this before.
The Great Emu War of 1932 is a real event where the Australian military tried unsuccessfully to control the emu population. Wow. Here's one that's false, but it did say true originally, but then says false.
Drop bears are fictional. Originally said that drop bears exist and the Australians tell foreigners about it, or tourists. But apparently drop bears don't exist, but are part of Australian folklore, often used to scare tourists.
Okay, I've never heard of a drop there before. And this one is true, apparently. When scientists first encountered the plate platypus, the platypus, they thought it was a hoax due to its strange combination of features.
I mean, I thought the platypus didn't doesn't exist. Does a platypus exist? I thought it was extinct. Okay, well, yeah, I mean, it's isn't like half chicken, half crocodile, half penguin or something that it's like, and then half gorilla, I mean, some kind of weird, it lays eggs, but it doesn't fly.
And it lives underwater. Yeah, it's kind of the weirdest thing ever. So the next one apparently is false.
There is no record of a bear turf war fought with wooden. So this, the original thing, what did it say originally? Okay, let's go back to the original one. Okay, number five.
Australians once fought a turf war over beer with giant wooden spoons. This blimey. Okay, so apparently, that's not true.
Really? I wouldn't have thought that that's just that. I'm surprised. Okay, so apparently, it's not true.
Or though there was no record of a beer turf war fought with wooden spoons, though Aussies have had plenty of beer related competitions. Okay, number six. The kangaroo and emu were chosen for the Australian coat of arms, because they can't walk backwards, symbolizing forward progress.
Apparently, that's true. Kangaroos and emus can't walk backwards. Okay, here's my question.
If this is a question to the Australians, listen, you might know this or not. I don't know. I mean, what? If an animal is chosen to be on a coat of arms, then that makes it quite a precious animal, doesn't it? Quite a admired animal.
You know, like very, very important animal. If that's the case, then why were they trying to kill all the kangaroos? So the kangaroo and emu can't walk backwards. I didn't know that.
How did they find out? How do you find out something can't walk backwards? I mean, there's lots of people I've never seen walk backwards. I've never seen a crocodile walk backwards. I've never seen a crocodile.
But I've never seen loads of people. I've never seen my dad walk backwards. Does it mean he can't walk backwards? Does it mean he needs to be the symbol of the town? I don't know.
I'm confused. There must be lots of things that can't walk backwards. Fish, a shark can't walk backwards.
Lots of them live living in Australia, isn't there? What if crocodiles can walk backwards? So the next one is true, apparently. DIY related injuries are common in Australia, with thousands of accidents reported annually. And okay, that's not the nicest fact, is it? I don't know why they're telling me that.
And by the way, DIY, it's do it yourself. But I think this is related to like power tools and stuff not needing skin grafts. Damage you've done with your hand.
So number eight. This apparently is true as well. The Australian Learbird or Lyrebird can mimic various sounds, including chainsaws, car alarms and cameras.
Is it Lyrebird? Is that the right word? Learbird? Lyrebird? L-Y-R-E-B-I-R-D. Yes, that's cool. I think I've heard of that before.
The next one is apparently true. The longest... Oh, really? Okay. The longest fence in the world is Australia's Dingo Fence, spanning over 5,600 kilometres.
So here's a question. This is not related to this really. So in Australia, do you have kilometres? Because we have miles here.
We don't have kilometres, we just have miles. So it's mile an hour on cars. And so how long is it to... How far from here to there? It's one and a half miles.
No one says kilometres. I don't say no one, but you know, some people might have said it. I haven't.
And I said kilometres just then. Kilometres. Kilometres.
It's not really kilometres, it's kilometres. The next one is true, apparently. The word mate, white mate, was briefly banned in Parliament in 2005, but public backlash led to the ban being reversed.
Wow. See, the term mate comes from England, because that's the way that we used to speak in this country. White mate, we still do sometimes, but not probably not quite as much.
But you know, the East End, going back hundreds, you know, well over 100 years, 200 years, 1000 years or whatever. So it was an adopted term that I imagine the English took over with them when they moved to Australia. However, it wouldn't be you... Banned in Parliament, this is Australia, isn't it? In the UK, in the English Parliament, you wouldn't get them saying that.
They're all proper posh. And when they talk, like when the Prime Minister talks to the leader of the opposition, he doesn't speak directly towards, they don't speak directly towards each other. They look at each other, but they won't speak directly.
It'll always be, Madam Speaker, or Speak, Mr. Speaker. Is it Mr. Speaker or Madam? But it's like Mr. Speaker. And then they just, they say what they're saying, what their message is to the other person.
But they never actually talk directly to each other. Which is kind of strange, I think. And they don't use things like mate.
Can you tell my old mate there? Although I think it has been used. I don't think it's illegal, but just it's, they're very, yeah, very well to do, like posh people. Quite a few of them in Parliament.
A few. So the next one apparently is false. The direction of a toilet flush has more to do with the design of the toilet than the Coriolis effect.
Okay. And good. I don't know.
I mean, I don't know. No idea what that's all about. I mean, the water turns in a different direction when you're on the other side of the world, isn't it? Which I guess is the Coriolis effect.
Didn't know it had a name. In Australia, you know, when you look in the mirror, is it still the same reflection? Or is it opposite to what you have here? Because I realized until I actually had a photograph of myself, and I thought why, I never looked the same in a photograph as I do in the mirror. And I thought, I figured out what it is.
The mirror's dirty. So when I cleaned the mirror, I was like, oh, okay. Tasmania is known, is known, this is true, apparently, is known for having some of the cleanest air in the world, thanks to its remote location.
Makes sense. I mean, it's, you know, I think that I live in the middle of nowhere. I mean, literally, Australia is, it's not in the middle of nowhere, because there's lots of people living there.
I don't know what the population is. But it's tiny compared to here. Like with the landmass, I mean, so what is it? Australian, Australian population, I reckon 30 million.
That's what I reckon. And you might think, oh, because you've already looked at it. No, no, I haven't.
Australian population, 26 million. That was 2022. So it's probably gone up.
Probably. So yeah, we have, I don't know, 65 million, maybe more in this country. And we're tiny.
This is compared to Australia. That's what that's gonna be my next question now. Okay, here we go.
How many? How many? How many? UK's? Could you? Oh wait, it's already got it. It's already ahead of me. Could you fit in Australia? So you could fit the country I'm in, which also includes Wales and Scotland, you could fit this into Australia 32 times.
And you've got got less than half the population. And one of Australian states in particular measures 10 times the size of the UK. Western Australia, one of the Australian states, Western Australia is 10 times larger than the UK.
So technically, the chair's getting squeaky, so I've got an idea. Technically, you need more people. And you know, it's very hard.
That wasn't what I was going to say, by the way. That wasn't hard. No, it is hard rather.
I should move on from that sentence and say something. It's hard to move to Australia. If you live in this country.
It's not the easiest place to get residence. I kind of fancy New Zealand. Because apparently the climates is kind of a similar kind of place, but nicer.
I don't know. But I would yeah, Australia, there's plenty of room, isn't there? To build car parks. And it's just, there must be a huge amount of Australia that's not being used.
There's like just wildlife and not being used because you couldn't spread half the population of this country into something 32 times larger. How does that work? I mean, you must need phones just to say hello to your neighbour. Just thought, you know, or like a mega speaker loudspeaker thing just to talk to someone that's across the road because so far away.
Maybe. Just really, really large roads because you got enough room for like 1820 motorways in one road. I don't know if that's a thing.
Just streetlights. I don't know. It's see, I think with Australia that in the UK, well, okay, mine.
My only knowledge of Australia is a lot of it just comes from neighbours home and away. And I'm guessing or cell block H or sons and daughters. I love sons and daughters.
I was so addicted to that. I'll tell you. 1986.
I loved it. It was the best one out of all of them. Like the drama, the drama, it was, it was nail biting.
So block H, B, number B. So block H, it was kind of gritty. I liked it. And it was a nice antidote to home and away and neighbours.
Although I still like those. It was just it was a bit grittier, bit more. Oh, you know? Yeah.
We actually had our own version of cell block H here. It was called, it was called bad girls. And that was a female prison.
That was good. It's really good. And that was in the 90s.
Wow. So yeah, I really don't have an idea what it's like in Australia at all. What it's like to live there.
I was told by a couple of Australians that in Australia, it's different farming is different to how it is in this country. I tried to, I tried to like say, what do you mean? He said, you won't understand, but trust me, it's not the same. It's a different ballgame altogether.
So I don't know what that meant. Maybe the farms are much bigger. Well, I guess they are.
They can be, I suppose. I don't know. I'm really not sure.
I mean, for that size, you could literally feed the world. You could, couldn't you? Like each country could just provide the world. I think with that kind of size, you should be able to be self sufficient.
Really, like food wise. I would imagine it would be if things were done correctly or in a way that it was, I say correctly, I wouldn't know how to do it. But you'd imagine if everything's there that you need, then you're self sufficient.
You don't need to, because you know, part of, isn't part of Australia kind of quite tropical. So, okay, what I'm trying to, I'm trying to ask do you have bananas? Do you have bananas in Australia? And without being rude, and I don't want to be offensive, do you have Kiwi fruit? Okay, and it's a genuine question. Don't, don't be angry with me.
We're not Kiwis or Australians. And, you know, I've had this conversation years, years, years when I was in London, the amount of Australians, or the amount of New Zealand people that I'd meet, they'd get angry. It's like, oh, so what part of Australia are you from? I'm not from Australia.
I'm from New Zealand. Can't you tell the difference in the accent? No, sorry. Just as I imagine people in Australia might struggle to, if they have not been to the UK, they might struggle to tell the difference between Liverpool and Manchester accent, or Suffolk and Norwich accent.
And you might say, well, that's just towns. Yeah, but your country, as I say, is, is, well, yeah, I suppose. But yeah, I'll shut up.
Right, what's the next thing? Um, false to direct. Okay, true. Tasmania is known for having some of the cleanest air.
Apparently this is true. What? Okay, sorry. It is illegal to dress as Batman or Robin in Australia without a good reason.
Under the Summaries Offences Act. Come on. I mean, it's fact checked it and it's true apparently, but I can't believe that's true.
How can it be true? Come on. You're not allowed to dress as a fictional character. Superman's fine.
Wonder Woman's kind of okay if you, if you can get away with it, but Batman or Robin, it's not allowed. Strange. Apparently this is true.
And it's an ahistorical law. How historical can it be though? I mean, let's have a look. I mean, according to this, the modern nation of Australia came into existence on the 1st of January, 1901 as a federation of former British colonies.
So I don't know, 1901 Australian became a nation forming the Commonwealth of Australia. So it's not the oldest country in the world. When I think of historical, I think of like 600 years ago and stuff like that.
But anyway, this is historical law. So it's, it's from the past. It's in the past.
Cab drivers in Australia were required to carry a bale of hay to feed their horses. So that shows you, so that's a law that makes sense to me. You know, it's just, it's, I mean, the only reason why we don't carry around like in cars bales of hay, because we don't have horses, but we don't carry around tubs of petrol, which would be like a sensible thing to do, other than the fact that it would be extremely dangerous.
So we can't do that. I say we, I don't drive, but I wouldn't want to be in a car that was full of like tanks of petrol. But that would be the ideal situation, wouldn't it? To see you could just, if you ran out of petrol, you just fill it up yourself.
But I think, I think that's possibly illegal here. I don't know. I'm not sure.
Oh, they've outlawed these big scary knives now, outlawed them in this country. And so, you know, it's good, obviously they need to be outlawed, but it's good now because, you know, someone's about to be attacked, they can just say, stop. Don't you know it's illegal? You're not allowed to carry those things.
And the other person was like, oh, really? I forgot. Wow. Thanks for letting me know.
Oh, nearly got in trouble there. So yeah, koalas do sleep for up to 22 hours a day, making them one of the sleepiest animals. I've done more than that in the past.
I know what he wants. I know. Okay, you don't want that.
Okay. I thought you wanted to cuddle. You wanted to lay on his back and have a cuddle, but he didn't.
So koalas sleep 22 hours a day. The next one apparently is true. As previously mentioned, the kangaroo and emu symbolize Australia's forward movement.
And okay, I don't want to mention it twice. But that's quite cool. Actually, I like the idea of that.
It seems quite a positive outlook. But that that might just I mean, because it's such a young country, compared to where you look at the rest of the world, I want to say young, I mean, it's not a young country, and the people who were originally there, will probably been there maybe millions of years. But it's as far as like an established country with a name that the world kind of recognizes.
I think that makes sense. In Australia, love abbreviations, Australians love abbreviations. And almost everything is shortened.
For example, Arvo for afternoon, Mozzie for mosquito. We use Mozzie here. So we've picked up I think it's because of the TV shows.
And also, what's his name? Oh, what's that film? That's not a knife. This is a knife. Crocodile Dundee.
He became a bit of a hero in the whole world for a while. And a lot of people were kind of using his lingo. So yeah, it's, I'm pretty sure I had a bit of an Australian accent.
When I during the 80s for a little while, because I was watching so many Australian soaps. G'day mate. Fair dinkum.
And I just yeah. It was cool. I'd like to have gone.
Shame I got so old. True. John Allwood set the record in 2005 for shearing 721 sheep in nine hours.
Why? That would be the question. I mean, that's I mean, that is a lot, isn't it? I wouldn't want to be one of those sheep though, would you? Because, you know, he wasn't taking his time. Wasn't a lot of care being taken.
I think there's a few nips along the way. False. Exaggerated fault.
This is false. Apparently. While Australians enjoy beer, the average consumption is not as high as stated.
This is false. Okay. 96 litres a day is an estimate.
Okay. And apparently this, this next one is true. And so Australians don't drink beer instead of water in their tea.
So true. True is Bob Hawke. Bob Hawke, former Prime Minister, was known for setting a beer drinking record at Oxford University in 1954.
Oxford University. So was he a former Prime Minister of Australia? Was he English? Okay. True.
Apparently cockroach races are an annual event in Brisbane held on Australia Day. The next true fact apparently is the longest straight road is on the Nullarbor plane, stretching 146.6 kilometres. I think he was making some really weird noises just then.
Like, he's huffing and puffing. Because I kept telling him to go into the bedroom because he was barking, but he refused to go. And then he kept coming back and like, sitting down.
And then whenever I think he's settled again, he starts again. You make some weird sounds Vin. And this next one is true.
Apparently wombats have cube shaped poo, which helps it stay in place to mark their territory. Cool. Well, cool, but maybe not for so much for their bum holes.
I mean, blimey, cubes. Imagine trying to give birth to cube poos every day. Square shaped poos.
Okay, here's a bit of a thing. So I'm going to add my little trivia. In the 80s, there was a game called Wombat.
In this country, it was an outdoor game. I suppose you could play indoors if you had enough room. And it was like these little, like, almost like tambourine size things.
They almost look like tambourines, but it was rubber or like plastic across. And there'd be a, I think they were like little beanbags, tiny little beanbags. And basically hit them to each other.
I'm not sure they might even be in a net to get it over. So in case it's like kind of volley, volley in it. They used to call it wombats.
It might be called maybe Wombat Ball. Let me check. I can't help it.
Wombat game. Let's look at the images. Wombats.
Nope, that's not it. Wombat. Maybe I got it wrong then.
There was a thing called Wombat. Combat Wombat. Right, if I put in 80s Wombat game, 80s.
80s UK Wombat. No, maybe they weren't called Wombats then. Happy Salmon.
I don't know what that's about. That is really throwing me off because I'm sure they were called Wombats. Wombats.
Wombat. So if I just, if I just click out the word game, no, it's just coming up Wombats. Wombats.
Wombats. Volley. That might come up.
Wombat Volleyball. No, it's Woman's Volleyball. Wombat Volleyball.
Nope. It was definitely a thing. Wombat Volleyball 80s.
Nope. It was 1 million percent it was a thing, but I can't find it. So I'm not going to spend all my time looking, but it was definitely true.
I just remember it. I've never heard the name Wombat before. So it's really difficult to forget it.
And they were like little, just things that you'd bounce the little beanbag off. It's true. It's true.
I tell you. Our next one is Australians did. In fact, popularize the term selfie.
So selfie came from Australia, the term selfie, and they love taking photos in local wildlife. So anyone listening to this, every single Australian loves taking photographs in wildlife. It's very generalized, isn't it? We don't really have wildlife here.
We just have more trees and grass and fields, which every town has surrounded. Anyone that traveled here by plane will know that it's just one big bunch of fields and trees and parks with towns and houses sort of in the middle. You know, it's there's a lot of greenery in this country.
It's a lot of fields, which makes you wonder why we're not self-sufficient. I've got that thing in my head at the moment. Be self-sufficient.
So the next one, apparently, there's a law in Western Australia that limits the quantity of potatoes one can possess. Oh, my goodness. Wow.
It's an old law intended to ejaculate, regulate potato trading. Wow. I wonder, is it still, is it still a law or is it just something that was, that you laugh at now? I mean, did they have the potato police come around and check how many potatoes? Imagine sitting there having a jacket potato with cheese, worried that you're going to get raided just because you've got enough to last you the month.
Next one, apparently, is true. Never, never land. The Never Never River.
He's just farted. Lovely. The Never Never River exists in New South Wales, though the name's other, the name's origin remains unclear.
So it's called the Never Never River. Oh, cool. Next is apparently true.
Uluru, Uluru is taller than the Eiffel Tower. I don't know what the Uluru is. Why don't we tell us what it is, please? The Uluru is taller than the Eiffel Tower at 348 metres compared to the Eiffel Tower's 300 metres.
Is that a tree? I don't know. I honestly don't know what it is. Next, Lake Hillier is indeed pink due to the presence of certain algae and bacteria.
So you wouldn't want to swim in it, I guess, I imagine. A pink river. Is it a lake or a river? Oh, it's a lake.
Just said lake, did it? Lake Hillier. Is that a river though? No, it's a lake. So what's the difference? Well, a lake's on its own, a river leads to the sea.
I'm educated, educated. Yes, yes, yes, I am. I mean, it might lead to another lake that leads to another lake that eventually leads to the sea.
I guess, I think. The next one is Cran... Canberra was chosen as a compromise because Sydney and Melbourne couldn't agree on which city should be the capital. So which is the capital then? I thought Sydney was the capital.
Canberra was chosen as a compromise because Sydney and Melbourne couldn't agree. I thought that was a type of juice, Canberra. That's cranberry, isn't it? Cranberry was chosen.
Well, I can see how there could be an argument between Sydney and Melbourne just because outside of Australia, they're the two most famous. Well, I guess they're just two very famous cities, aren't they? Like in America, you'd know about New York, Washington, California, or you know, I don't know, Texas, you know, about places like that. In this country, you've got London, and I don't know what would be famous, probably Leeds, Liverpool because of the Beatles, Manchester.
I don't know. I'm not, I'm not American. So I don't know what would be what would be like a very famous city in London, obviously.
But outside of that, if you're going to go for the UK, then you got Edinburgh as well. That's a worldwide visited place. And you got Wales.
I mean, Mount Everest in Wales, that's, that's a very popular visited place. But then you got parts of the of England, which are the like Cornwall. I know lots of different places.
I've been to lots of places and lived a few places. But it's hard for me to know looking in from outside because I'm not outside. So I'm inside.
And I don't mean inside, because it's cold and it's raining outside. But I mean inside the country rather than outside the country looking in. Does that make sense? Next one.
This is true. Apparently, James Harrison, a Scottish Australian inventor, developed the first commercial refrigeration system. Cool.
It makes sense really, when you think about it, that the first commercial refrigeration system would be invented in a hot country, or somewhere that gets very hot. Now surprised that it wasn't it says commercial, maybe the first normal fridges. Because you imagine like there's parts of the world where you just can't keep anything cool.
No matter what you do, you'd need a fridge. So whatever you got, you had to eat it sort of straight away or you've got milk and you had to drink it all before you even left the shop because it was so cold, warm, warm outside. Can you imagine? It's really just a simple, well it's not simple is it, but like something that I'd say I would take no advantage, take it for granted.
But when the fridge breaks, or when the cooker breaks, or the microwave breaks down, or the kettle blows up, whatever, it's only then that I realise I need to get the electrics sorted. No, it's only then that I realise that I, and how much I rely on it. We had a power cut the other morning and I really just didn't know what to do.
There's no point, luckily there was, my computer was working because it was charged, but there's no internet, there's nothing, what are you going to do on a computer without the internet? What am I going to do? And I suppose if I've got apps I could do some stuff, I could edit, edit a video, I could do stuff like that. So yeah, that's, that's available. But unless I've got something like that to do, what, yeah, you know, very strange to be so reliant.
The next one is Australians celebrate Christmas in summer. I think that's pretty common knowledge. I would say, because it's our summer is their winter, or your winter and your winter is our summer.
It's just because it's topsy-turvy, isn't it? It's a weird, it's, I've never celebrated Christmas, well I don't really celebrate Christmas so much, but I've never, I've never experienced Christmas in hot weather, ever. I mean it's always, it might be a mild, but it's still cold, especially in the evening. You know, it might be a mild day, but it's always cold, you know, come night time, in December, end of December time.
But to be summer where it's sunny, apparently it's common to see Santa surfing during holiday events. That's something I can't really... Wow, I think that's etched in my mind now. Father Christmas surfing.
Wow, no, that's just weird. The next one, true, is Australia exports camels to Saudi Arabia, where they are used for meat and racing. I just assumed that Saudi Arabia bred their own, because I thought that's where they lived.
I didn't know Australia had camels. Do you have deserts in Australia? I mean deserts, it's just basically a beach, isn't it? Without the sea. The next one is Australian magpies are notorious for swooping at people during their breeding season, especially cyclists and pedestrians.
You know, right, you know penguins, right? It's one of my favourite animals for a variety of reasons. There's a chocolate bar, I don't know if it still exists, but it was called Penguin, and I never really liked it. I'll be real with you.
I'll be honest with you. I've heard some people talking like that recently, these boxers, and they just kept saying the same phrase, I'll be real with you. I've got to be real.
I've got to be like, they must have said it like 17 times in a five minute interview. I've got to be real. I've got to tell the truth.
I've got to be honest, right? If you're saying you've got to be honest, then what have you been up to now? You know, were you being honest earlier on when you didn't say you were being honest? And yeah, anyway, we had these penguin bars. Didn't like them particularly. They used to melt a lot easily, especially if you kept them in your underpants during the summer.
They really melted, but it wasn't a nice melt. And yeah, it was kind of chocolate that didn't, it didn't taste better when it was melted. Like a Kit Kat, it's messy, but it was quite nice when it's melted.
But I didn't want it to be melted. But you know, I would, I would dip a Kit Kat in a tea. Because it's, and then suck on it.
So anyway, about the, oh my voice is gearing, about the penguin. I might need to have a drink of water. There was another chocolate bar that came out called the Puffin, which was I guess a rival to the penguin.
Because, I mean, they're more colourful, aren't they? More colourful birds, but similar kind of ish birds. They live in the sea and have gills. And I don't know what else.
So yeah, I just remember, and I think I preferred the magpies. No, not magpies. Oh, I'm thinking of puffins, not magpies.
Oh, none of what I said just makes any sense. Magpies, they're birds, aren't they? I thought you were talking about puffins, because puffins and penguins. P-p-p-p-puffin.
Right, magpies. I know they're birds. We have magpies here.
What we do have in the UK is a bottle of water that needs to be drunk. That's what we have right here. I get through quite a bit of water every day.
So with d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d- d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d- d-d-d-d-d-d-d d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d d-d-d-d-d-d d-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y it's nice to be able to look out and have nothing no obstructions something special about that looking at a wind farm quite the same not the same feeling not the same emotion but it's personal to everyone isn't it it's different for each person so the next one is true apparently Melbourne Melbourne was almost called bats mania after its founder John Batman I don't know if that's true is that why being water and Batman is not allowed because Melbourne was founded by someone
called Batman I'm seeing the dots are kind of coming together I wonder I wonder if that's true or not he says it's true and the next one is Aussies call McDonald's Macca's it's even on some store signs no really Wow Wow I didn't expect that I didn't think McDonald's would allow that because they're just so they seem quite anal about like everything being correct like their logos and every burger being cooked for exactly the same amount of time and the exact ingredients you know like everything has to be like if
you get a burger you know it has to be the same every time you go in there and stuff which I can understand is well it's not the case anyway but the burgers tasted different when I was a kid well when I was 16 15 16 I used to have a burger every week used to go to college I was 16 so I go to college on a Wednesday I think when I was in a chip shop so one day a week was a college and catering college well the whole
college wasn't catering just my department and if I could afford it I'd buy a burger quarter pound of cheese and it was the best tasting thing I had all week I've done you ever had a McDonald's that's tasted like that since and it wasn't my first burger it's not like I'll call it the first is always the best no no that's not what I mean it was always pretty much like that and they were oily now they're just maybe they have to be dry they're just a lot drier now they
used to be dripping which I suppose maybe that's not a healthy thing but at 16 it didn't really matter now they're just yeah they're not the same as they used to be and it was something I don't know it was just different but there might be a taste bud thing maybe my taste buds have changed or dried up or something as I've got older they're not the same as what they used to be it's possible I don't know what the rules are on that one so the next one oh we
maybe we copied it because I know some people that call what did used to call McDonald's Maccy D's I would never do that because I don't know the idea of having this like a nickname for somewhere you just go and get a burger just I don't know but then Marx's Marx's Marx's Spencers used to be called Marx and Sparks who used to call it Marxist but I didn't even know it's called Marxist Spencers I thought we were just going to Marxist Sparks where did they get the Sparks from it was
Spencers Woolworths was called Woolies boots was called boots that's not a good one what other ones there was Sainsbury's Sainsbury's as the as the Tesco's Ticcy's no I can't think of any other things movies used to call them flicks but I didn't but like the generation before me yeah I can't even imagine going and seeing a sign that says Macca's yeah can't I tell you what I couldn't believe it when I went to Ireland 94 just where I just really had a lot of trust in McDonald's the one thing I
found with McDonald's is no matter where you go at least you know what you're getting wherever you are in the world whatever town you're in you should be able to just know what you're getting but not in Ireland not at that time anyway not where I was living it might be different now it might be the same everywhere I don't know I was gonna say they have brew cream but they don't have brew cream on it but think about brew cream at the moment mayonnaise they have mayonnaise or they had
said it might they might not have it anymore I had mayonnaise in their burgers and it was awful just too sweet too yeah really I mean I could have it could have got away with if you want to have it as an option where you can just add it yourself maybe that's what it is everyone was going in there and it was costing so much money in mayonnaise sachets so they thought this might just give everyone stuff with mayonnaise in it but it was horror I just didn't like it what's
the other thing yeah that's very strange it's just yeah very very weird this is true the Great Barrier Reef is massive okay cool covered approximately three hundred and forty four thousand four hundred square kilometers okay well and it's not the only place has a barrier reef though is it I thought America had a barrier reef next one Australia's Australians claim the world's selfie I've already done that one why does that come up again Oh false this is debunked the Kang the story that kangaroo means okay apparently one of the things
it was false but it was the story that kangaroo means I don't understand in an aboriginal language is a myth so it's not true next one Australia is in is home to some massive spiders like the golden or weavers okay everyone knows that it's just a standard thing it's that's what that's why there's only a small population living there is a lot of people in the world don't fancy that next one Queensland restricts rabbits as pets due to the invasion the invasive okay this is true okay when I read this
out word for word Queensland restricts rabbits as pets due to their invasive nature however magicians are exempt that's funny so you're not allowed to have pets rabbits as a pet blimey and that's just in Queensland so next Australia has many okay I'm not gonna read about the wildlife don't I read about that useless loop is a real place in Western Australia named after its geography and salt mining operations cool next one is true nope I'll read that one Australia once set a record for making a 1.1 kilometer long pizza this
is another one is a weird one the world record for the most sausages cooked simultaneously is held by an Australian doesn't say any other details I could get I could ask do you want me to ask okay what I do expand on 46 right okay here we go the fact about Australia holding a world record for the most sausages cooked simultaneously refers to the Australian tradition of hosting large-scale events that involve cooking sausages often as part of charity or community gatherings these events are often called sausage sausage sausage sizzles which
are beloved in Australia and frequently held at public spaces like parks hardware stores like Bunnings Bunnings know how to that and sports events the world record for the most sausages cooked simultaneously was achieved by participants grilling hundreds or even thousands of sausages on multiple barbecues at once these type of events are also linked to Australia day and celebrations where Australians gather to cook large quantity of sausages snags in brackets not heard that term before as a casual outdoor tradition in terms of records okay one such record 2013 during a community
event in Canberra where over 40,000 sausages were cooked as part of a charity fundraiser or additionally sausage sizzles often involved friendly competitions between groups or charities to see who can cook the most sausages or race the most funds making it a national pastime with a light-hearted competitive element okay cool it's offering me all more information for one but it's fine it's enough it's enough information Melbourne has attempted to set the world record for the largest toga party though it was unsuccessful what's a toga party I do know but I don't
kangaroos outnumber humans in Australia by nearly two to one good I love kangaroos I mean kangaroos I mean I suppose they are the symbol of this the whole world world knows about kangaroos and Australia however are the kangaroos anywhere else was it only Australia I don't know when you think about it you know it's not there's there's the same animal in different countries isn't there so you think about the trying to think of an animal what do you animal emus you have emus in Australia or they have emus in Australia
we had them running around in London so it's just normal the next one is the echidna is one of the only two egg laying mammals in the world along with the platypus I thought all mammals laid eggs I make their mind up when they the next thing they're spending way too much time looking in that big but animals private parts I think I need to leave the animals alone this is that made me laugh true Fegemites taste is famously divisive due to its strong salty flavor okay so divisive you mean
some people like it some people don't well we have a thing called Marmite here which is I think it's kind of a similar situation some people like it some people don't like it and I'm in the latter or the former latter yeah wasn't I'm not a fan I've never had a Vegemite the first time I even heard of Vegemite was in the Down Under song he recorded Vegemites he gave me a Vegemite sandwich that's it he gave me a Vegemite sandwich in Bennett Work Down Under yeah and he was six
foot tall and full of muscles he gave me a Vegemite sandwich he said do you come from a land down under oh yeah one of my favorite songs of all time it is so that was a weird year that was 1983 I think 1982 probably 82 strange times yeah I think I think what happened is I had my appendix out I came out of hospital couldn't go to school which is good I love that and but while I was off I had a couple of weeks off well off school and
I think I had a book on UFOs I was reading so it was a good it was nice and but I might have bought it might be 1983 because I was 12 so it could have been 83 to be fair because I turned 12 at the end yeah probably was 83 so it was 82 or 83 one of them was I 11 it doesn't matter does it I think is I was even the first or second year so I probably the first year or second one of them I could check
the dates of the song coming out do you come from a land down under oh where we go in the thunder ooh ooh what was I gonna say yeah the phone phoned up the phone the school the phone schooled up school phoned up and spoke to my stepmama and told her that I'd been I don't know not not working properly not turning up or I can't remember what it was anyway I got in trouble things were so good for a while and then suddenly I don't know why the school decided
to moan at me but yeah apparently I didn't take I wasn't doing homework and I wasn't whatever else that I was supposed to be doing and I thought I thought I had you know I kind of came to an understanding probably by the second year don't disturb me I won't disturb you that was kind of one of my and some teachers accepted it some didn't and to tell you how good I was I think I've got detention twice in five years and that was from the same teacher apparently there's a
new teacher decided that and I think it was the last year of school as well decided for some reason that I wasn't behaving the correct way but all the other teachers have given up he's just like okay he's just being him now this particular teacher I think I was probably being a bit verbal but probably just trying to impress the girl a girl probably I tell you what was really weird is I think it was a day before or the week during the last week of school the deputy head came
up to me and I don't know what I might have been cheeky to him I don't know and he was shouting in my face never done that before and I mean it didn't worry me it just I was just smiling him and I was kind of while he was doing I started to think why am I putting up with this I'm literally three days left and I'm out of here why it doesn't matter what he says he was the one that was always like the they're not so nice one the
headmaster was lovely but this deputy head he was the French teacher and the headmaster when he joined he was kind of quite new and I think in the second year we started and he was telling everyone how he used to be a dustman and I'm not quite sure why but he was he was telling us that but he wasn't it was nice very sort of gentle nice bloke but the French teacher who was also the deputy head very strict luckily I didn't have to really deal with him because I didn't
do French didn't take French at all no no I didn't I might have done but I don't remember it yeah if I did I think I might got kicked out no I'd know some words wouldn't I if I'd learned French I know like some words on the petite penny I don't know it's not that's just words are my French girlfriend used to say to me I don't know under to our crutch thanks he said we've enough these I know a bit of Spanish familiar I mean family see see it's good
isn't it see is yes what other ones nine that's no in German yes it's I don't I don't know see you know with countries isn't it weird that Turkey changed their name to this now t-u-r-k-y-e says took took here took here I think it is and so I was thinking why don't we just do that for all the countries call the countries what they want to be called Deutschland Espana and Mexico like you know give give people give call it the names that they call it themselves Italia France a is
a front French front say isn't it you know I mean is that I just that seems quite respectful but in England we expect everyone to say England England say England we call you Germany you course England we call your England but you'll not call us Deutschland no Germany doesn't even sound similar does it Espanol Espana Espanol or Espana like Mexico why have an X if you're not going to pronounce it I don't know but hey it's nothing to do with me I didn't create it didn't create the word and what's
the other one it's probably loads of countries that are not what you know Denmark I bet it's people in live in Denmark probably call it something different people live in Poland have a different name for it so why don't we why aren't we taught the proper names that's all I mean maybe world peace would be easier if we just use the proper names for you know I'm happy to call Germany Deutschland or Mexico Mexico or Spain Espana France Frank Frank Frank Frank Franker and what other countries Scotland Scotland I don't
know or Welsh even like the like Wales but they might have because they've got a different language maybe it's they call themselves don't flake how he wheels or so I don't know some kind of it might be hard to pronounce if you're not used to the lingo that makes more sense because it'd be we get on there'd be more don't know it's like people get on more if we're using each other's proper it's a bit like introduce I tell you what it's like when I lived in London and we're talking
late 80s to start with then I went back in the early 90s and I worked in these places and there was a lot of people from other countries working there like on a temp agency people from Africa India predominantly kind of the African nations and then come in this and it you know when it's busy they might get like 40 50 temps in someone will be someone will be English some of all be there might be people from Russia and or whatever but maybe not Russia but they might have been
there's different places but at the time it was definitely African nations that were coming in to a sort of move into London and stuff and I always got on with everyone and this but they would like say so what's your name I say it's Jason because I was always also knew knew as well as an old Jason so people call me Jay or Jace or whatever now someone else had come in and say what's your name is Mungamba something like that they say okay Mike we call you Mike no my
name is Mungamba all right Mike that's it I give it give the person like an English name and that is actually what happened I mean this is not even I mean Andre okay he was Irish Andre it's not a hard name is it the supervisor called him Andrew or Andy Andre it's not a hard name it's really not and it was you know sometimes they'd come and they did give a name that wasn't their name they understood early on that if they made it the more harder they made it for
for the employer or the supervisor they just would get put to the back of the queue they wouldn't get any work so the amount of people who come in and say be called Thomas or David or Richard which and then you like that's not their name at all because I'd see their their page slip or I'd see their ID and they'd have a completely different name and it was quite cool it's like yeah that was clever Tom easy to remember and but it's kind of sad I mean I'm not saying
I'd remember everyone's names anyway but I find Tom's difficult to remember I did tell you this I lived in this place I've lived in a lot of places there is one place where where are they from I think Nigeria that is this one man from Nigeria I got to know he's cool but he moved in to this one room and within about a few days of him living there we were getting letter after letter I'm talking ten twenty letters a day sometimes for him or for other people that weren't him
and it turned out there was about 20 people living in that room but they weren't living in that room but there's always lots of people in that room but they weren't living there if you know I mean they come and go and a couple of them like we're trying to sell me jewelry and I'd go on with everyone but they weren't living there because plus if you share a bathroom in a house you know who's living in the house and only one was actually living there and I think when I
moved out I gave them my TV because they were the ex I moved away so I gave my TV but I got really well with them I didn't but the rest of the house the people in the house found it intimidating but I didn't it's like they were all I was a young man and they were all young men the fact that they were from a different country like made no difference they they didn't hassle me they didn't it would have been a problem obviously if it had done that but
they didn't in fact they were funny I said chat to him and I spent years working with Africans different from different nations and I always got on with all of them worked in different agencies where I did security I worked for loads of Africans African men there was there wasn't really any women at all in the jobs I had to never really work women in 90s that is and then when I worked in the I worked in a big bakery and that was a mixture of African men and I don't
see South Asia and like Indian Pakistan Bangladesh I don't know what the correct term is for that area East Asia or South Asia so that was the the two groups predominantly that worked in the bakery in the baking bakery in the distribution it was all white people I guess I use the word white people English people or that's not that's not the right word is it yeah the reason English because all pretty much everyone that I met in the bakery that I worked with and there was English was definitely their
second language I can only speak one language so I can't I've never judged anyone that can't speak a second language particularly well because I'm still I'm still working on the first one but it used to be weird I'd fall asleep on the coach coming home because we'd have a just like a little mini bus that would bring me back to where I lived to like just around the corner from where I lived which was handy because especially on the shifts where I'd be doing there'd be no buses and I get
on the bus I sit at the back I didn't know anyone because the place was so big that I didn't really get to know many people and not one person was speaking English and it was just weird I got used to it after a while because this was quite early in my days in London you know after being there for 10 11 years I was completely used to hearing non-english-speaking like that's just that's what you get well that's what was what it used to be like in London and I didn't
care didn't bother me I was comfortable with it if anything it's gonna sound strange but when I moved away from London to come and be closer to my nan I was on a bus one day and I thought there's something wrong about this there's something weird I don't understand what it is something not quite right I looked around I was just all white faces speaking English and I hadn't experienced that for over a decade it was very strange because usually it's different you know it's lots of different voices lots of
different languages going on sort of on a tube or on a train it's not a huge amount of talking on a tube to be fair and it's noisy so you can't necessarily hear it but on the truck yeah so that on a on a bus it was so different and I thought I prefer in London it just I don't know it just seemed weird seemed almost like it when I first moved I'd come back to London every weekend and as soon as I got off at Stratford so I'd get a
coach and I'd get off at Stratford and the energy hit me like oh everything is like a thousand miles an hour compared to where I was living in now like well back you know when I moved so everyone was really slow there and when I went back to London everything was quick there was so much noise so many people you know I'd see more people in a day walking around London than I would see an entire in a year living in my town that might be an exaggeration but you know
if you go to the West End you're waiting a tube station you're seeing thousands upon thousands upon thousands upon thousands of people in a day if you walk around so yeah it's probably not an exaggeration to be fair so yeah it feels that the longer I left it the more I didn't necessarily want to go back I mean now if I go to the town it seems really noisy and busy compared to living here because this is almost standstill it's time has stood still here but in town it's slow it's
a slow place like it's there's not much going on just a few shops and technically it's a city but it's there's not it's not a lot going on there's busy times you know Saturdays and but there's not a lot going on you know it's not really maybe a Friday Saturday evening there is Christmas you know shopping time it's busy but apart from that it's just like any other any other town really but here where I live in this part mmm blimey I can walk around and sometimes not see anyone especially
when it's raining oh yes that's when you find out who the real dog walkers are because there's a lot of fairweather dog walkers around here you see them every day in the summer as soon as it gets rainy and cold the dog goes in the garden which is exactly what I would do oh yes but it is exactly what I have tried to do a little bit when it was raining too hard let him in the garden and then he can just you know chill out but unfortunately it doesn't like
to go to the toilet on command so if I'm not out there trying to stand under a tree which doesn't for some reason doesn't seem to stop the rain which I don't understand why and he won't go to the toilet won't do a wee wee and he wants to like walk somewhere else I'm trying to explain to him it's raining I don't want to get soaking wet but he doesn't listen and the weird thing is when we go out into the park he stands at a tree it doesn't seem to
help if it's raining but if it's not raining he stands under the tree and the tree drips so it's almost like this weird this is something weird going on it's raining under the tree when it's not raining away from the tree I guess maybe it's just the leaves are wet I suppose that's that makes sense but I think I've covered all the things there was only 50 50 trivia 50 trivia's I'm gonna call them about Australia there's a lot more and it's a beautiful country and if any point I've come
across is like I'm making fun of anything good no I'm not really making fun I'm just having a laugh just being silly it's a it fascinates me I'd like like the hope to one one day I can visit Australia and you know something oh you can't visit New Zealand New Zealand is nowhere near Australia no it's a lot closer than where we are though isn't it you know it's like if if you were coming from Australia and you said oh I'm gonna go and visit Russia while we're while we're in
Scotland let's visit Russia it's the same thing Russia is nowhere near us there's a hell of a way closer to us in Scotland than it is to you in Australia you see what I mean that's how I see it so I'd like to go to China I'd like to go to Japan but to go to Russia I'd like to visit I think I'd quite like to visit all the Russia all the sorry all the European countries it'd be nice to visit everywhere I'd like my ideal situation would be to travel
doing this you know just I'm thinking maybe I'll try and make that happen when I finish my degree in six years so when I hit 60 just go traveling travel around start start with traveling around the UK because I've got Vinnie with me so going to stay in doggy hotels which means I could technically do that if I could afford to do that I could do that now you know I could go and stay in different places and do a podcast about it talk about that as part of these let
me boy to sleeps things and then when I've done my degree depending whether or not I go and do a master's I quite like the idea maybe then visiting you know making my way working my way out into Europe and then move him into I don't know I just want to go to it might sound a bit wimpy of me but I want to go to safe places just I don't want to go anywhere where I'll suddenly having to leave the country you know it with an hour's notice because that
doesn't really suit me plus I'll be 60 I'll be in my 60s it would be I might not move quite as quickly and be quite as fresh and virile as I am now so yeah that's that's that'd be quite cool thing yeah and of course but not of course but I'd like to visit America on the whole of America I travel through and Canada maybe start at Canada through America and then into Mexico and then all through South America so I do North America first middle America which I guess is
because North America is Canada isn't it really am I right and in Canada America is America and then South America would be you know all the countries in the South Mexico and in onwards and there's other countries I'm not sure Asia or South Asia I'm not quite sure again I don't know what the correct term is I don't know which parts and I'd like to go to Dubai like to visit there I've been there but I knew the airport so that'd be cool yeah this is a big old world out
there I could just do meet and greets so I could just go and do meet and greets with people and do put on like a little evening and you can meet me and God imagine how exciting that would be for you and but the trip would need to be covered financially so I can't you know that'd be quite cool though maybe a goal to aim towards in the future downstairs are getting ready for bed now I think so I can hear them and I imagine that sounds weird doesn't it yeah
it does how would I know what they're doing I can hear them you know I can't hear them I can hear the bathroom so I'm thinking if he hears anything like that he'll start barking because he's obsessed with her downstairs completely really is loves her so much and so I'm gonna go thank you for listening this is going to take ages to edit because of all the barking and also all the noises that Vinnie made so thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy be gentle with yourself lots of love bye
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.