(no music) #1201 - Q&A Friday - Let Me Bore You To Sleep (27th September 2024)

Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep one thousand two hundred and one. You don't want a cuddle? I haven't got to. It's up to you.

I thought you wanted to. All right. And yeah, this is Q&A Friday.

Another Q&A Friday. Oh, yes. I'm a bit tired.

It's two minutes past 8pm. I have a grocery delivery coming. Should be by about quarter.

Oh, twenty five past eight, between twenty five past and quarter to nine because I've run out of stuff. So it's just stuff from the supermarket. Vinnie, you are quite happy to be doing nothing now.

You're all over the place. So this is actually. Oh, my name's Jason Newland.

My website's jasonnewland.com, which is coming along quite nicely. I've now I think I've got 30, maybe 40 more recordings to upload to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Catalog in order to be completely updated or up to date.

So that's good. And I'm now currently got. Well, I've just I've just today I have made a new recording this afternoon and it's only been uploaded about an hour ago and I don't even know what it's called.

What's it called? Oh, yeah. Pre surgery affirmations. And it's for Molly.

It's also for anyone else that's, you know, got surgery coming up or anything because I posted something that Molly about Molly on the Facebook group, Jason Newland's bowling group. And I was just thinking because she's got a surgery on Monday, so I want to wish her well for that. I also wanted to do something but didn't know what didn't know what.

I've already made a few recordings over the last week, kind of aimed at Molly for the not the one about carrier bags that wasn't aimed at Molly. But I can't remember what I've done. Let's have a look.

Let's have a look. So I did healing Thursday, last Thursday before last, or last Thursday, not this week. And then this week, I have done looking forward, which was another recording.

It was a let any boy to sleep but also was kind of aimed at Molly, aimed at Molly. And there was yesterday is kind of healing Thursday, but I didn't name it that I just called it that healing feeling. Because I was so excited about Ryan.

And then today I did the pre surgery affirmations. So I hope that it's of use for those videos or that the recordings reviews also got them on YouTube as well. So that's it really, that's what I'd let you know that.

And so Molly hope, fingers crossed and you know, everything goes to plan on Monday. It's Friday now. So you know, enjoy the weekend.

Monday, hopefully that will be the start of a much better place for you because you'll have that horrible stuff removed. And you'll be able to get on with your healing. So yeah, so this is Q&A Friday, Q&A Friday.

I do have some questions. I do I do I do I do I do. Right, I just got a phone call then.

Oh, Vinnie, please, mate, come on. What? What? His tail's waggling. He's all excited now.

All excited. Oh, man, what's going on with you, eh? You're all acting all strange last few days. Right now, that's enough now.

That's enough. That's enough. Enough, mate, come on.

I'm trying to I'm trying to look at my phone so I can see the questions. And he is literally pushing the phone out of the way. Oh, now he's now he's come.

I'm going to ignore you now and you just have to calm down. So what do you want? Do you want to? What do you want? I don't know if he wants me to hold him so he's got his back, you know, so he's lying on his back and he wants to cuddle. But I did that a second ago and he didn't want that.

But he keeps climbing on my lap. What? I think what he wants is to play fight. But I can't do it now, Vinnie.

You pick the weird times all day, all day. You could have done this. But no, right now, when I'm doing a recording, you want to play, hey? You're such a woolly head.

You're such a woolly head. Right. I'm just going to do this recording anyway, regardless of him trying to sabotage me.

I just need to find the right Q&A Friday or I have a question. From last week, which I would do first from. Uh, one week.

Okay, right. I'm sure I had a comment from last week newest. Okay.

Yeah, I do. From Ruth. Okay, I'm a bit late.

But one, maybe for next week. So yeah, I'll do that. I'll do you first.

And yes, this is yesterday. So I'll do your. Oh, Vinnie, stop.

Keeps treading on my delicate bits. Stop it. I'm a bit late.

No, I'm a bit late. But one may for the next week. Okay.

You have a real way with words. Would you ever consider? Stop staring at me. Stop.

He's just staring at me like tipping his head from side to side. Stop it. Oh, man.

Now he wants. Calm down. Calm down, Vinnie.

Calm down. Good boy. Hey, that's it.

Calm down. Calm down. Right.

His ear is sticky for some reason. Why is your ear sticky, Vinnie? Hey, calm down. That's it.

Calm down. You're such a good boy. Yes, you are.

You are so good. You can relax now. Your eyes getting heavy.

Yeah. You're starting to fall asleep already, aren't you? Yeah. Is it nice to be so calm? Relaxed? Yeah.

So relaxed. Relaxed. Peaceful.

It's nice to have your belly and your chest rubbed, isn't it? Yeah. How quickly you calm down. Right.

So he started barking then. Can we just do this? He's really, really disrupting the recording today. So this is Ruth.

I'm a bit late, but maybe but one maybe for next week. You have a real way with words. Would you ever consider writing a book, maybe a self-help or inspirational book? Oh.

Hmm. I don't know if I'd be very inspirational. Hmm.

Well, thank you very much for your kind words, Ruth. I don't know. I'd like I mean, I love books.

I always have done since or since I learned to read. I. So for at least 10 years, I. I thought about writing a book about my life, which would kind of be. Suppose clips, clips like bits from the Let Me Bore You To Sleep podcasts, because that is what I try to do.

I started transcribing. The recordings, hundreds of them, and I thought what I'll do is if I can find the right AI software, I can start asking the PDF files. Not a great name, and I think really three PDF files, PDF, PDF files.

And in fact, I think it's not paid. They shouldn't really be called PDF files because I think the F stands for files. So it should just be PDFs.

It's which is like, you know, digital copy of a text document. So I thought it'd be good if I could ask, you know, all of my recordings, like 1000 odd recordings, questions, for example, tell me everything about the chip shop. And then just grab every single reference to the chip shop.

And I could grow, you know, I can suck and put stuff in all the things in by topics. And then tell me everything about the children's home. And then everything's sorted by that.

Tell me every time, basically, every time I mentioned something. So every time I mentioned Christmas, every time I mentioned Bruce Lee, or martial arts, karate, every time I mentioned boxing, heavy, you know, I mean, so just, and then I could start maybe panning out the book of my life, the thing it would be boring, because my life's been boring. So it'd be a boring book.

But I did think I did did did did it did think that I could potentially do a book version of this where, but what what it would be, it would probably be, I don't know how this would come across in written form. So I don't know. Because if the for the Let Me Bore You To Sleep book, it'd be something that maybe you you read a chapter.

And you get so tired reading it. And so bored reading it, that you just drift off. So I did wonder if, man, and I thought, well, I can't do a silly voice on a, in a book.

Then maybe I don't need to do a silly voice ever. Anyway, I don't know. So I did think about doing that.

When I write, is for example, if I was to write a blog, which I have done in the past, I had a little bit of a following actually, back in 97, not 97 2007. I started writing a blog, you know, written blog, talking about my life talking about what I was doing. And it was around a period, I remember, I just started university and I moved to a different town.

And I was submitting the blog, I think I had on blogger. And I was submitting it to the RSS feed to pretty much everywhere. So all of the blog places had my blog on it.

A bit like what I did with the podcast, I guess. And yeah, I had a fair few people used to read my blog. I couldn't even tell you what happened to it.

It might still be out there somewhere. So yep, I was interrupted by the delivery. So what I've had, since I've been doing this recording, interrupted by Vinnie jumping all over me.

Then I had a phone call. The phone was on silent, but that was the interruption. So I had to answer that.

Because it's an elderly neighbor, I just wanted to make sure that he was okay. And then Vinnie started barking at something that wasn't there. And then 10 minutes later, he started barking at something that was there, which was a delivery.

Man. So back to Ruth's question. I don't know about self help or inspirational book because I don't know what I would say.

And if I was going to do something like that, I would want to be original. And I don't know if I have, I don't know if I could be original. Because, you know, I've read so many books, self help, inspirational books, and listened to so many audio books over the years that I don't know if where, where the stuff comes from.

It might be me, it might be someone else. I might be saying something that Tony Robbins said 40 years ago, when he was only 43. I might be saying something that Louise Hay said, said, or just the list is endless, really.

Ziggy Ziggler, Jim Rohn. Wow. All blimmin gone now.

Nearly all of the main people, apart from what I mentioned at the beginning, what's his name? But they're really big. Okay, I suppose the general public might class, I forgot his name, already said his name just now. They might class him as the top but because of all the info commercials that were in America.

However, in the self help world, the real superstars, you know, that were around a lot, lot, lot, long before him. They're all gone. They've all, you know, departed.

I mean, Louise Hay was huge, huge star, Jim Rohn, Ziggy Ziggler, Zig Ziggler, Ziggy Ziggler, Zig Ziggler. Yeah, it's there's a lot of people. And I've listened to pretty much all of them.

And or read their books. Maybe not all the books. But it is.

Yeah, I don't know. That's the thing. If I was gonna sort of write a book, I want it to be original.

And I don't mind so much if I'm doing a recording. And let's face it, a lot of these recordings are almost throwaway recordings. You know, people might listen to it once and then that's it, move on to the next one.

But I might. I think the the main podcast that I had before, and there is a playlist, if I've got them on my website, is the Relax, Relaxation, Hypnosis for Stress, Anxiety and Panic Attacks. That was a time when I was I was making them very regularly.

And I was just talking from just talking from the heart really. And I would say that some of my best stuff, no one listens to it, of course, of course they don't. No one wants to listen to my good stuff.

I just I just think they were from a creative perspective. I think these are pretty creative at times. But yeah, from a day, I think they were quite inspirational.

Because, you know, some of the hypnosis stuff I've done, I would say a lot of it is very samey. Me just talking and doing a body scan or counting down or, you know, just focusing on relaxation and being tired and drifting off. And admittedly, I don't listen to them.

But I don't know how different they were. And I've done a lot over the years. I think Yeah, some of them probably were really good.

I don't think any of them were really bad. Apart from that one. There was that one.

I don't know. I'm really I'm not sure. I did do.

Oh, I use I mean, we're talking blimey over a decade ago. Probably. I don't know.

It might be when I was living here. But I did a recording where I sang. It was kind of like chanting.

It wasn't, it didn't come out great. It didn't come out great. But what is weird? Not weird, but I spent 10 days in 19 2008 maybe 2009 putting together a stop smoking course.

10 days I spent doing that. And I could do that in that course race. Yeah, I could do it in probably three hours now.

It's weird, isn't it? It's just it would be incredibly easy just to do something. I guess it wasn't the it was trying to get it to sound okay. Trying to get the sound editing.

It was like non the editing took forever. And all that stuff is a lot easier now. With better equipment and just generally suppose because I've been doing it for so long now.

It's kind of rolls off my tongue, I suppose. Like there was a like a grape. Why would you roll a grape off your tongue? It's just weird.

That's getting very erotic, isn't it? So I don't know regarding books. I'd love to write a book. But if I was, I mean, I suppose I could do what some of the self help people do is find my own little angle and generalize on it.

So I used to have this thing called a therapy that I called it fine focus therapy. See, didn't know that, did you? I didn't know that about me. I had my own therapy.

I never trademarked it or anything like that. Because I could call it anything. So that's kind of what I thought about calling it.

And I discovered it whilst meditating. And I had this pain in my knee. Because I was at that point, I was still meditating on the floor, sitting on cushions.

So I was, yeah, it was, it was never soon. And that was that was hard for me to do when I was a teenager. Nevermind now.

Well, I was in the early 30s at the time. Not when I was a teenager, I mean, when I was meditating. So I was in the meditation room on my own, I think during the lunchtime.

I was having a little lunchtime meditation. And I had this pain in my knee, just because it was, I don't know what it was. It's not like I was bending it the wrong way.

I was definitely going the right way. So what I did is I focused and I was really into chronic pain at the time, not into it in a a weird way. I mean, into it as in helping other people to relieve their chronic pain, which is what I was fascinated about.

So I was studying that for years. Anyway, I, I decided to look for the pain, look for it. And it's a little bit, but yeah, it was kind of comes from the idea really of, you know, when you've got like anger, well, can you hold it in your hand? If you can't hold it in your hand, then it's not, it's not a real thing, is it? It's an emotion, it's a feeling.

But if you can't hold it in your hand, where is it? And when you search for something, so how did the emotion kind of has a tendency to dissolve or change. And I just thought, I'm going to look at the knee. I'm not, not actually look at it, but like focus on the knee, but not trying to cause my knee to relax, not trying to take the pain away, not trying to anything, just really to look, just focus on it.

And the more focused on it, the more it kind of, almost like it didn't want me to see it, didn't want me looking, it was shy. But what I did is I went inside the feeling, almost like magnifying something, continue to magnify, continuing to magnify to the point where you just got an atom. It's like, there's kind of nothing there.

And I kept looking deeper, deeper, deeper, kept focusing deeper into the feeling to a point where there was nothing there, but the feeling had gone. And I thought, Ooh, so for about a year, maybe two years, I played around with this. I say two years, what was this? 2004, five, six, about three years, three years I played around with it.

So whenever I had a physical issue, whether it's a pain in my foot or my leg, or just something that was muscular or skeletal, I would focus on it and go deep into that pain, focus deep into that physical feeling. And when you do that, I think it was that one, I'm not, this is not a pain relief recording. I'm just just shooting the breeze.

I'm just telling you about that. Can you imagine this? I was listening and it worked. It was really good.

What do you mean? Tell me. Carry on. I don't want to hear about the books now.

I want to tell you about my book. So if I'd been like quite a lot of, I've noticed a few inspirational or self help people that come up with a unique idea or a new technique or something. And it's sometimes seems to take over.

And, you know, let's use it for everything. And I've got a friend who goes to see a jaw specialist and he literally thinks that every single ailment that ever occurs in a human body is to do with the jaw. And I heard about another person who had the same thing about posture.

It's all about posture. You know, if you get your posture right, everything else is fine. And other people like, yeah, if you don't eat sugar, everything else, that's me, isn't it? It's so, I don't want to be a general, generalized like that to suddenly think that I can, I mean, yeah, blindly if it works for everything good, but well, I've found it doesn't work for everything because I still do test it.

I've been using it for over a decade, 15 years or whatever, 13, 14 years, 15 years now, since 2004. What's it now? 20 years blinding. It was a summer 2004.

So I've, well, probably spring actually. So yeah, I've been using it for 20 years. It's only for small ailments.

I've never really tried it with anything. Yeah. Cause I think it's, it's important to not to, to find out the cause before getting rid of the stuff.

So, yeah, so yeah, I'd love to write a book. That's kind of one of my goals in life, I'd say, you know, get, get, get a degree. I want to be a doctor.

I want a PhD. I'll be 90 by the time I get it, but I still want to get it. Black belt.

I want to get black belt. And I'd like, yeah, to write a book, but knowing the way I work, I would probably end up writing lots of books in the way that I do the recordings, you know, and I'd end up writing a book a week. And I do still like the idea maybe of doing two things, like doing my life story and maybe doing a boring book, like specifically, and I can go even more, even more detailed boring wise.

But the strange thing is if I wrote it down, so if I wasn't talking to you, and I was writing, it's the same process, really, it's just writing, but it's different things would come up completely different things. It's a different. I don't mean I had to explain it.

It's just, I guess it's a similar thing. But it's because it's words, it's a different format, a different way to communicate. So yeah, I would like I would like that.

I'd be groovy. But I don't know. So yeah, that's that's that question answered.

Vinnie started to bark now. Brilliant. Well done, Vinnie.

What a great great thing. I Oh, sorry. I just see something on Facebook.

That was funny. Someone doing press ups, but their arms are wobbling. I'm trying to find where is it? Where is it? Oh, okay, questions.

Hi, any questions. So I've got four questions, which have been posted yesterday. Yeah, yesterday, I think.

So the first question is from Barry, or the second question, because I've already answered one is from Barry. What has been your most embarrassing moment? It's hard to pick one. There's been a few little moments in my life.

Two come to mind straight away. One was when I was canvassing back in 1989. I was 18.

And it was during the summer. And we were just, we used to go out in the evenings from like four to four to eight, or four to seven, depending. And the Jeff who was the boss, he would drive us around.

He had this mustache, which was like an old RAF where he was an old RAF pilot from because he was four. I don't even know how old he was. He was retired.

So I think he was in his 70s then. Very funny, very funny man. Always swearing.

And he has his two front teeth were missing. He's just, he was in the RAF. And during the war and stuff, and then he left and he became a double glazing salesman.

So his whole career he was selling. And then he retired and decided to keep an income coming in by having a canvassing team for a double glazing company. So that's what he did.

He drove us around. He, anyway, there's one particular evening where sometimes we start either side of the street or and we'd end up meeting up and then kind of would have done that road. And me and the two, there was a man and his wife there as well.

They was a couple of years older than me, probably five years older or something. And they were lovely. And so I, I wish we got on really well.

So Dean, he, he was, he was funny. His wife Natalie was better than both of us. Because all her leads.

So she got an appointment with someone. Let's say, you know, Monday or Saturday at 11 o'clock. If she got an appointment, the salesman or salesperson would get there and they would get in and it'd be a real appointment.

Sometimes when I got an appointment, the salesperson would get there and the person that lived there would think that it was a window cleaner. Because I hadn't made myself clear. I don't know how honestly, I don't know how they thought I was trying to get a window cleaner to go around.

But yeah, so. So I would get more, Dean would get more than me. I would get more than Natalie.

But Natalie, her ones would be the best. The best, you know, the best actual ones. Because she, she's just, yeah, she was really good.

And she was quiet and she was lovely. And she didn't, you know, I'll be honest, I'll be on people's doorsteps just talking a bunch of rubbish. I had some bloke chase me with an axe once.

He didn't want me to knock on his door. So for some reason, I found that funny. And then he went in and he brought an axe out and I found that even funnier.

Which is a bit weird. But, ah well. He, yeah, I didn't get an appointment with him.

Anyway, one evening, we're all standing around. Didn't know where Jeff was. Jeff was the boss.

Didn't know where he was. So we were just standing around having a laugh. And we were just making fun of him.

The old, whatever. We were just, just basically making fun of him. Just, you know, being rude.

As, I was a teenager, so I could get away with it. But it wasn't, not in a horrible way, but it was just, you know, just taking the P, whatever. So we're laughing at him.

We're laughing about him. And then we look over, see a bloke get into his car. Don't think anything of it.

And, but there's like the, we just, so we're, we're facing the car, so I'm watching this bloke and he pulls out and there's Jeff crouching over, listening to us. Now, I think he was pretending to do his shoelaces up or something. But we just see that, I mean, he must have been, it doesn't take five minutes to do your shoelaces up.

So he was listening to us. And it was so funny because we were talking about it. I don't know, it's hard to, I mean, I was a bit embarrassed with that.

There is another one that I have told before, which is quite rude. I remember, yeah, I missed, I misunderstood what someone said once. It was the last day of school.

And one of my friends said to me, these are his words. Okay. I saw the teacher.

And he said, your report card is really good this year. I said, really? He said, yeah. I said, oh, brilliant.

I thought he was telling me that my report card was really good this year. But he wasn't, he was telling that my friend, that his report card is really good this year. Well, he said, your report card is really good this year.

I misunderstood. So I went home with my report in the envelope, untouched. Feeling quite, you know, quite happy, quite relieved, almost looking forward to it.

And yeah, it wasn't exactly how I thought it would be. I never had a good report. It was always, you know, just, I wish I could see them now.

Wish I could, you know, the good thing about people that go to school now, all your stuff is on record. It's all being digitally collated. And it probably be available for you to read.

I say, like anyone's listening, but, you know, when you're 50, you could probably still look back at that stuff. All my stuff got burnt, like the school burnt it. I said, because I did do exams, and I wanted to sort of have a look.

I failed all of them, but the ones I did do. But I kind of wanted to just have a look at it just to see whether or not they see what, you know, if I could remember correctly. So I think I got unclassified for most stuff.

And I went in there probably 90, early 90s, maybe 96. Bear in mind, I only left school in 86. It's a long time.

They said, no, we burnt them all, burnt all the documents, all the files. I said, you burnt all the students' exam information. She said, no, no, just yours.

I said, why? She said, because you have fleas. She didn't say that. She said, I, no, she, everybody, I just got rid of them all.

Like, it's a bit rude, isn't it? And it wasn't, you know, 10, I'm not sure if it was even 10 years. It might have been early 90s. So it's a few years.

The school was still there. It's now closed. But it was there.

So I wonder why they would just destroy all the records of the students. Seems like a weird thing to do. Okay, so another thing.

Embarrassing, embarrassing. There is one, but I have to be very, I have to tell you. There is one.

It involves being in a sleeping bag and staying over at my friend's house. Well, actually, okay, that's a different one. A contest we had.

But okay, forget that. There was, I got drunk when I was about, I don't know, whatever age I was. I was still at school.

But it was one of the student, I think it was a strike day or I don't know. But me and my friends, we went around my friend's house and I was probably 14, 15, maybe 14, probably. And I ended up going and doing a paper round, my evening paper round.

And then I went into the shop the next day and I was asked, where did I deliver all my papers? And I said, what do you mean? He said, not one person got their paper yesterday. I don't know what I did with them. I don't remember.

And I said, I don't know. I don't know what happened. I'm not sure if I got in trouble.

Yeah, how did I explain that one away? I've got no idea. I really don't know. But it definitely happened.

And trying to think of a really embarrassing. Okay, this happened when I was about 16. I was working in a chip shop.

Maybe 17 actually, not 16, 17. So my boss, this is when I moved upstairs above the chip shop. My boss had a house.

He bought a house. And we invited all the staff around for like a party, I guess, just to get together. And it was giving me, I was drinking pints of lager.

Or was it bottles of lager? I don't know. But I was drinking, drinking pints of lager. And I got married and was just acting a bit silly.

And I think at the end of the night, they all found it hilarious that I'd only been drinking non alcoholic lager. So that was, yeah, that was definitely embarrassing, but in a quite horrible way, actually. Because it's quite a cruel thing to do.

I think it's, I think it's, I don't know, especially when it's your boss doing it. And to do it. I think you can get away with it at certain ages, but not to a 17 year old.

It's just I don't know, just it really, I should let it go, shouldn't I? Let it go, baby, let it go. Yeah, that was embarrassing. I've embarrassed myself many, many, many, many, many, many, many times.

Many times. Yeah, another time was when I was a counsellor. No, this is before I was a counsellor.

No, this is when I was doing the free pain relief service 2006. So after visiting people's homes for a while, I decided to rent a room on a Saturday morning, a therapy room. And I just charged people the amount it costs for the room, which was 10 pounds an hour.

And that was it. So it's still free. But I just paid for the room.

So I booked the room from like nine to one, something like that. And there was a waiting room downstairs, and it's a nice setup. Well, on my routine, this is back when I was drinking in the evenings.

So I'd had a drink, it's just yeah, Friday night, finished work, went home, I might have gone to the pub Friday night. And then I woke up Saturday morning, got up, went to McDonald's on the way had a egg McMuffin. And then, you know, went upstairs into the place went upstairs, went to the toilet.

And, you know, I did what needs to be done. And I came out of the toilet and there was a lady waiting and I was like, I was embarrassing. Because there was no way of opening the windows when you know, there's really tiny toilets aren't even really big enough to you have to back in.

You know, we'll take those take the ceiling off to get into it. It was one of those kind of toilets. So I really I wanted to say to her it wasn't me.

But it was me and she could you know, who else was it? Like, this isn't me, you know, just I mean, it could only it could only have been worse, right? If I'd have come out and said, Oh, sorry. Wait a minute. She was walking in.

So wait a minute. I forgot to wash my hands. I forgot to wipe that would be worse.

Yeah. So. So it's very embarrassing.

And then what made it worse is it turns out that she was my first customer. So I've never met before spoke to her on the phone, or had a text or something. So I go downstairs to to collect my first client and it was her.

The woman had used a toilet after me. And I just thought that was just, it was embarrassing. We got through it.

But it was embarrassing. Because it just wasn't a human smell. You know, it was something alien, just but anyway, I said that was embarrassing.

Another embarrassing thing. But I was I was embarrassed. But no one else was around.

I went to school, got up, had my breakfast, got ready. Went to school. I thought I'll get in here early.

Sometimes I like to get to school early. So I could just walk around the field and sing to myself or read a book or whatever. And the gates were closed and I couldn't figure out why.

It was a Saturday morning. I couldn't believe like, what? Now, we're talking about school that took about 45 minutes to get to. It wasn't.

It wasn't. It was quite a distance away. So I was a little bit embarrassed, but no one else knew about it.

Another thing, another similar thing happened, where when I was in the Sea Cadets, me and my friend, we both turned up at this event in our uniform, Sea Cadet uniform. But we were the only people there. And the event, we basically got the wrong day.

So that was that was strange. And yeah, there's another another embarrassing moment. I asked a female out for a date and she said yes.

She worked in a travel agency. And I had the I don't know, I had the the guts or the the bravery to ask her out in front of her work colleagues. And I was, what was I 18 at the time? I can't believe I did it, but I did it.

And she said yes. I'd seen her before previously, once because her car broke down. So my friend helped her to get home.

Now, that's not the embarrassing part. That's actually the really nice part of the story. The fact that she said yes.

My problem is I couldn't believe she said yes. Because she was a beautiful woman. She was older than me, probably in her early 20s.

I just couldn't believe that she said yes. I was like, did you hear me correctly? And instead of leaving, which would have been the correct thing to do, I stayed around. And I carried on talking to her for about an hour, maybe longer.

So I went from having a date to no longer having a date to her no longer talking to me, because I annoyed her. She was at work, she didn't want me hanging around talking rubbish. And I basically talked myself out of a date.

I mean, that's what the that's the whole point of the first day, isn't it? In order to talk her out of liking me. But no, I did is I just jumped the gun. I did it before we even went out.

Normally, I'd wait until we go out first. But yeah, that was embarrassing. While the things trying to think of things that happened at school.

Oh, is an embarrassing one. When I was having my appendix out. Not what not while I was having my appendix out.

But when I was in hospital had my appendix out. I'd had them out. And the basically, they didn't seem to want me to.

I think I might have had a drip. Morphine drip or something. I can't remember.

So they they but I wanted to go and get a comic. I knew where the comics were. They were in a big box.

They're like comics and books and stuff. And I wanted to get one. And it was near the X is like the entrance or the exit where the toilet was.

So I thought, Oh, miss. I got up and start walking. What are you doing? Little Jason? I said, I was gonna go to the toilet.

I need to go to the toilet. It's okay. She's like, and she made me do it there.

Didn't make me do it. But she said, Oh, it's okay. You're not ready to walk around yet because your stitches.

And I stood there. And she held. Why did she? Why did she just let me do it myself? She held the little cardboard nozzle thing that they used to have.

Maybe they still have them for me to do a wee wee in. So there's this nurse, right? I'm 12. She's probably not much older than 18, 19.

And I got me weasel out. And she's probably the first female to ever see me weasel. And I just did not feel comfortable.

And my bladder was very shy. In fact, it wasn't just shy. It didn't need to be.

I didn't need to go to the toilet. I'd had hardly any liquid. Because I think it wasn't long ago that I'd had the operation.

So I wasn't even on solid foods yet. So I just had a little bit of water and that. So I didn't, you know, didn't eat.

And it's like, at the end of it, a little dribble came out at the end. She said, I'll draw some comics. Do you want me to get some comics for you? But after all that, she just just ask if you need them.

It's almost like she knew, she knew what I was trying to get to. That was a little bit embarrassing. Like skid marks on a beach.

Honestly, it was very, I think in what else the embarrassing moments. Oh, yeah, maybe I was chatting a female up when I was in a comedy club. And I bent over to talk to her.

She was working. She was eating rather. She was at a dinner table where she asked me a question.

So I bent over. I wasn't like in her face, but I was like, you know, so she could hear me. So we were just chatting.

And my chewing gum fell out of my mouth. And she just looked at me like, oh, I just thought I'd see her. I just had to walk away.

That was the end of that relationship. There's only so much you could do after that. Yeah.

What other things have I done? Embarrassing. So I'm not sure about the most embarrassing thing. I don't know how embarrassed I actually get, to be honest.

It's not a huge, I might get embarrassed, but it's not like a real deal. You know, I find if you just keep away from people that you just don't ever see them again, it's fine. Oh, yeah, there was another.

Oh, no, I can't tell you this story. I had a girlfriend and she she said, oh, I've got an idea. So it was in bed right there.

She said to me, she ran out downstairs, came upstairs with a yogurt, a yogurt pot. And she put it and she said, oh, wait a second. Hold on to this.

I'll be right back. I thought she was going to be using that for fun. I think that's how you use that word.

And she comes up and she's holding a spoon. Yeah. Anyway, I'll move on from that one.

So that was. My brother, I was when I was going through my my first start doing weights when I was a kid and I was doing karate and I was doing weights and I did my gym down the garden and I used to go to local gym as well. And I had this mirror.

So what I did, I stood on the balcony, not a balcony, like the top of the stairs, which faced right at the mirror so I could see my whole body. And I was doing muscle poses, you know, like grunting, trying to look like the Hulk. And I heard this big burst of laughter and my brother was behind me on the stairs just laughing at me.

So, yeah, that was a bit embarrassing. What other things? I think my, yeah, one of one of my elderly relatives. No, I won't, I won't say.

No. What I'm trying to think. Embarrassing, embarrassing, embarrassing.

I think the other day I said hello to someone that didn't know who I was. And I realized I'd never seen her before. That was a little bit embarrassing.

There was this woman that I worked with. We never got on. I just, she, she'd always kind of say the opposite.

I had this, I've talked about this before, but she's the HR lady, person, human. And she worked literally behind my little department, which was at that time, checking people's phone calls. That's what it was.

Just listening to phone calls. That's what I did for a living for about a year and a half, I think. Four, five, no longer, blimey.

Four, six, yeah, a year and a half. So in 2006, all the way to June 2007, I think. Anyway, you know, to give you an example, what she was like, she'd always say the opposite.

So I bided my time. And I said to my, you know, to the people, they said, Oh, what are you doing a weekend? This is, they said to me, my team, I said, Oh, I'm looking forward to Saturday, because it's the launch of this year's X Factor. And the first thing she's, because she's literally sitting behind this, first thing she shouts out is, Oh, not that crap, not the X Factor.

Completely stumped her because I knew that she's a huge X Factor fan. And she got confused. It was very funny to watch.

I'd waited. I mean, literally, I'd waited for months to do that. Just waiting.

I was like, I was planning on it. But I thought, I saw an opportunity. And it all almost like it short circuited her brain.

She didn't know what to do with that, because her natural reaction was to say the opposite to what I was saying, or to disagree with what I was saying. But the fact is, she agreed with what I was saying. And it didn't compute.

It was really funny. Anyway, we never got on. Really didn't, didn't really like each other.

When she left to get another job, the new HR person was lovely. Got on really well with her. I see her about a year later.

This, this, the one that we didn't get on. I forgot. I forgot that we didn't like each other.

And our best friends were like, Oh, yeah, you're right. I completely forgot that we we were worst enemies. And that was embarrassing because I was like, Oh, and then I realized.

So yeah, I can't think the time to think of other things that I have done to be embarrassed about. It's quite a few things over the years. I can't think of anything offhand.

But that was a bit weird. What did I do? I'm sure. Yeah, I think the I went outside.

I've got pink, pink Crocs. And the neighbor, the new neighbor downstairs, the first thing she saw was the pink Crocs. I didn't know that she was down there.

But I forgot because normally I put my shoes on when I go downstairs. And for some reason I forgot. And that was her first impression of me.

Pink Crocs. And she found it very funny. So that was a bit embarrassing.

And there was another thing is in a place I worked where I was talking to a female on on the sales floor. That is when I was working downstairs in compliance. She told everybody that I was, I don't know how to say it, that I'd shown interest in her.

Not in a weird way. But she said that I had reacted to her, or parts of me had reacted to her, which is probably just the way my trousers were. But she was telling people.

Oh, he was down here. He was talking to me and he had a, what's it? And I thought I could get in trouble for that if it was true. I didn't.

You know, nothing came of it because I don't know what was going on. Why was what? I don't know why she was saying it. I thought I heard someone shouting.

So yeah, that was weird. I've embarrassed myself a lot actually over the years. Many times, probably too many times to even count.

But it's not so much embarrassing myself because I don't always feel embarrassed when I've done that. I was more trying to focus on something that I felt embarrassed about. Hmm.

I suppose leaving the toilet door open in a public toilet sometimes. I've done that a couple of times as someone just walked in. That's not good.

Oh, there was one time, oh, I was in the female toilets. And before anyone says anything, it was at the comedy club. The club was closed.

The female toilets were way nicer than the men's toilets. And there was only one, one toilet in the, you know, the rest was cubicles. The females, I think there was four or maybe five.

So we were closed. The club was closed. There's no public in there.

And I just needed to do a, a woo woo. So a poo. Okay, let's just say it as it is.

That's what I need to do. So two things happened that were very strange. In the same same place.

The first one was someone told or someone turned all the lights off. I went upstairs. Because I used to drink upstairs because it was a club up there as well.

So they close all turn all the lights off. Because the lights to the toilets were in at the bar. And then I go upstairs and I was there in pitch black.

So that wasn't so good. But worse than that, that wasn't so much embarrassing more than just like, I'm not sure did I shout so that no, I don't know. But yeah, that wasn't good.

The second one, it was embarrassing because I was in there. And it was a sneaky thing. It's like I didn't go in there when there's women in there, obviously.

But I thought everyone had gone upstairs. And there was toilets upstairs. So there's no reason for anyone to be downstairs, really.

I was just finishing up. And so I went in there to have a nice, relaxing toilet. And what do I hear the door go? And I hear two voices.

Two of the waitresses talking. And they do all the doors were closed. Anyway, the toilets, they just automatically close on their own, like the cubicles.

So I just kept quiet because I was so embarrassed. I mean, I should have just shouted straight away. Like, oh, yeah, I'm in it.

Just so they knew. But I left it too late. If you know I mean, I've left it too.

So I was in shock a little bit. And I left it too long for them to not think it was weird. Some might think it's weird anyway, but you know, it was it wasn't about being in the female toilets.

It was just the men's toilets was always blocked at the end of the night, generally. So I not always, but just the females, they're much better looked after. And plus, I had all this material on the inside.

Like, you know, it was nice. I don't know about you, but I like to something when I'm on a toilet. And I always it was like fur, but like a zebra kind of skin wasn't proper wasn't animal skin, but it was really nice in there.

But no paid no attention to the men's toilets. This is for all this effort into the female ones. And I if I'd have said something after a couple of minutes, then that I think that made it worse.

Because what was I doing? I probably would have screamed because I what are you doing? Are you listening to us? So it got to the point where it was too late to say anything. But at the same time, I couldn't move couldn't do anything. I didn't know how long they were gonna be.

Luckily, they weren't there for long. So half an hour, an hour or something. And they weren't there very long.

And then they went and I just finished up and everything. But it was Yeah. After that, I tried to, yeah, try to use the men's after that, to be honest, which is what I mean, it was closed.

There was no one around. I thought everyone had gone. Honestly, I really thought I was the only one downstairs.

I'm not I'm not not a female toilet user. Well, that was embarrassing, though. Did it did it I was another one where I, I have this.

Do I need to tell you this stuff? What am I telling you this stuff? I have a habit. Ever since I have had mobile phones that take pictures. So it's been quite a few years now.

Whenever I get a new phone, I always the first picture I take is a rude picture. Like down the trousers picture. I just can't help it.

I just just just what I do is like to see. Let's see what the picture is like. I never saved the picture.

I normally delete it. Well, on this occasion, I forgot to delete it. And I am around my dad's house.

I was taking pictures of I think, maybe them. Because I'm new camera, new phone might take pictures. And my dad's wife says, Oh, let's have a look.

So I'm holding the camera. And to get the pictures up. The first picture that came up was my nutsack was my bits and bobs, which I took a picture of, which was very immature, but hey, and that came up on the screen.

Luckily, just at that second, my dad said something to and she looked over. I quickly, you know, told her Wait, wait, look, look at this. I said, I got rid of it.

I couldn't believe it. It was so close. The tour to be a very, very embarrassing moment.

I still do it, though. That's the weird thing. It's a tradition.

It's it's a Jason Newland tradition. It's a weird tradition to have. You know, it's just one of my tradition things.

But I don't keep them. And I don't it's not like I sent them to anyone, blindly. But I do.

I would never. Yeah, there was that happened once where I was called dating, semi dating someone. It was online.

It's a long time ago. Like over 20 years ago. And we were talking on the phone and everything.

And she said, Do you? I can send you send you a picture of myself. And I said, Well, I can't I haven't got that kind of phone. And I think she sent me a picture and I could receive pictures.

But I couldn't send them because there was no camera on my phone. That's how long ago it was. And she said, Well, I've sent you a picture of me.

That's it. I sent you a picture of me. Because it's the start of just picture of a face.

That's, that's all I wanted. That's a big lie. That's all I wanted.

No, still a lie. And she said, and she sent another picture of her knees, you know. So then she said, your turn.

So what do you mean my turn? She said, I want to see what you look like. I said, Well, I don't have a camera on my phone. She said, Well, that's convenient, isn't it? I said, Not really.

No. She said, Well, if you need to sort it out, go and get a camera phone. So I did.

I went and got a camera phone. You know, I needed to upgrade. To be fair, I don't think I ever used that phone.

It's just I never had need for camera phones back then. So I got a camera, I got a phone with a camera and sent her a picture of my face. There you go.

And she, she sent a message back saying, Hmm, that didn't sound too good. As you said, What about the rest of you? I said, What? You see, I already sent you a picture. It's your turn.

Blimey. So I didn't want to do this. I've never done this before.

I didn't want to do it. Never done it since. Well, no, no, not pictures and stuff, I don't think.

And so I just thought, Okay. You know, we've been talking for about two months on the phone. So we've got on quite well.

I took a picture. I was on the beach. It was a really cold, windy day.

And yeah, I just had to do a quick. It was kind of like, you know, trying out a new phone, really. Just testing.

It's that kind of situation. So I did that, send it to her. Never heard from her again.

It's almost like she just disappeared off the planet. Gone. Honestly, phone was blocked.

Everything was gone. It's like what? So yeah, that kind of put me off doing that game. And that 2013 there was someone that was following me online who really liked me.

And I thought, Okay, that's nice. And again, we started talking quite a while. And a similar kind of thing happened.

She sent me a picture. I said, That's nice. Thanks.

She said your turn. And I said, Well, she said, I want to see it. So I thought, Well, she lived in another country.

So I thought, I went online and I found a picture of another one. There's lots to choose from. I chose a healthy looking one.

And I posted that. And her first response was, Wow, I'm going to come and visit you at the weekend. The problem with that situation was it wasn't mine.

And if she visited me, she'd find out it wasn't mine. And why did I have to choose like the largest one in the world? It was not not good. So yeah.

So I had to sort of cancel that, which is a shame because I like we got on. But I suppose I should have. I just didn't think that we were ever going to meet anyway.

So I remember some of the things she said like, Why is it black? Why is it so big? But yeah, it's just so that was embarrassing. A little bit embarrassing. Yeah, that's that was when I was a young man.

So what else embarrassing moments? Oh, yeah, I was in a in a I was very young at this point, probably 18. I was in a cafe waiting to buy some an egg sandwich. And I let one go farted.

It was it was Oh, man, it really bad, really bad. There was two people ahead of me and I think one person behind me. And it was like four people seated on seats either side of me.

It was really rotten. And I think I had to leave. I had to get out in the end.

Yeah. Another another one that not bad. It made me laugh.

And it was it was wrong that I laughed. It was a funeral. And again, straight away, it's wrong.

But after the at the end of the funeral, after outside the church, someone came up to someone else that was there that I knew and said, Hello. And she called her the name of the person that they just buried. And it was her sister.

And she called her like, and that just made me laugh. It was so inappropriate for that slip of the tongue. hugely inappropriate for me to be laughing as well.

But I found that in the past that the more I tried not to laugh, the more I laughed. Nowadays, if I laugh, I laugh, you know. But I don't generally, you know, it's it was nothing funny about this the event at all.

It's just that that sort of moment is like, wow, I'm trying to think. Another family funeral there is the organist was awful. It was it was it was kind of funny.

It wasn't funny and a funny event, obviously. But the organist, the music was so out of tune. It's hard to even explain the absurdity of it.

You'd expect that on a comedy sketch. It was like, like, you know, see, I think one of the songs was all things bright and beautiful, which is all things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small. The music was do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do.

I was like, I was really bad. What other things have I done embarrassed? I've embarrassed myself so many times. Can't think of a most embarrassed I've been.

There probably is. What could it be? I don't know. Anyway, Ben asks me, what's your favorite board game as a kid? And also favorite pair of shoes trainers.

Now you're really going to do your going to your dad's around December as it's that thing again on 25th or don't know about Christmas now. I had a little bit of enthusiasm after getting a taxi there before. But I can't afford to do that again.

I just really won't. Vinnie can't come with me, so he has to stay here on his own. So my dad doesn't allow any pets in his house.

So I think I've already seen my dad before Christmas. He might come up this end and we meet up somewhere. He doesn't come into my house.

And what's your favorite board game as a kid? So as a kid, because you don't have any now as a kid, I used to like Frustration. I used to like Operation. I used to like Snakes and Ladders.

I think you call them Snakes and Shoots or Ladders and Shoots. Some people call it that in different parts of the world. Drafts.

I always liked Drafts. I like Easy Games. Buckaroo.

I mean, is Buckaroo a board game? Kind of not, is it really? But I mean, maybe Frustration isn't a board game either. But to me, it was a board game. Because you're kind of moving around a thing and small board made of plastic with marbles and a big thing that you press in the middle, which makes the dice shake.

What other ones? Board games. I like Monopoly. I did.

I like Monopoly. But it went on too long. I don't mind if we had a drink.

I'm talking when I was a little kid, I managed to get some wine and stuff. And then that was a normal thing in them days. You know, sort of Christmas and I think even on a Sunday, we get a glass of wine.

It'd just be pomade or something like that. But yeah, I think I could, I can handle that. And Christmas, because it's such a nice period, nice time it was.

I didn't mind spending that time with the family doing something pointless, like playing Monopoly for three hours. I never won, ever. But I think they cheated.

See, I'm not a cheater. So I'd never cheated. I don't think I cheated.

But I know that I used to watch what other people did. And they'd be hiding money and they'd be, yeah, doing magic tricks. But it was fun because it was, it was quite funny to play.

Like the dialogue that went to my brothers. And yeah, it was quite good. Cluedo, I didn't like.

It's weird. I just didn't see the point. It was, how can you have a board game based on a serious crime? I mean, it's just, yeah, just, yeah, just didn't, didn't appeal to me really.

Other board games. Um, Kaplunk, Kaplunk, that was another one. Dominos, I quite like Dominos.

Chess, I couldn't understand. But I never learnt it. But even when I learnt it as an adult, still couldn't understand it.

It's, I think it's just something you need, well, I would need to do regularly to get a hang of it. And my, I have this little concern is, as we discussed earlier, it's a little bit little. It's, if I, if I start doing something new, I might get obsessed with it.

And I didn't, I don't want to get obsessed with chess, you know. And I've been like that all my life. I kind of get, always had to have a special interest and I kind of get completely absorbed.

Even, you know, if I started doing jigsaw puzzles, and I thought, I did do a jigsaw puzzle. I don't know if it's still on YouTube. But I basically did like this, but whilst doing a jigsaw puzzle, just talking.

It was quite popular for a while, actually. And I don't, yeah, if I get into stuff, something like that, I'll end up with hundreds and hundreds of jigsaw puzzles. And what's the point in that? I mean, just this, there's no room to be having, storing stuff like that, really.

That's why I have to be a little bit careful that I don't get too caught up in new things. You know, even with the website, I have to really, really morale, kind of hold myself back from getting too caught up with the whole building of that. Because if I do that, I don't do anything else.

So it's about pacing myself, really. I can't think of any other board games. What's the one? Wasn't there a racing one with horses? What was that called? I'm sure there was.

Sabutio. That was one. That's not the one with horses.

Sabutio. My brother was obsessed with football. So we used to play Sabutio.

That was all right. I quite liked, I mean, I'm not into football, but I definitely found Sabutio, I keep saying the word for some reason, I found it a lot easier to play than the actual football game itself. I think he used to paint the figures, you know, the color of the teams and stuff like that.

So he was really into all that. I'm trying to think. Yeah, I was into girls.

So I wasn't so interested in football. Trying to think, what else did I? What do you mean you can't be interested in girls and football when you're a kid? You know, it's funny, right? When I was at school, apart, I mean, I was, I was so little. But apart from that, I remember sometimes the kids would, I don't know, be less generous with their compliments towards me, because I didn't play football, wasn't interested in playing football.

Yeah, I was doing karate twice a week. So it was you know, because I wasn't playing football, made me less of a boy back then. I'm doing karate, I'm kicking and punching people, and getting kicked and punched by much older, bigger people.

But because I don't want to play football, it's just the end, didn't see any point to it. I can see why people watch it, I do. Yeah, it can be exciting to watch.

But to play, I didn't, you know. But in the same, in the opposite way, didn't really see much point watching people do karate. I enjoyed doing it.

But watching people do it, like on TV, in the Olympics and stuff, didn't really do much for me. I liked it in movies. I liked watching boxing.

Hmm. I mean, all pretty much through school, I was the last to be picked in the team. I mean, I was picked after the boy in the wheelchair.

It was honestly, I was that unpopular for sports. They just, I don't know why. I mean, I was, I could do stuff.

I don't think they just didn't like me. I used to be able to climb up the rope, you know, those big ropes, you know, that go all the way up to the ceiling. I used to be able to climb up with one arm, with one hand, just keep pushing up and then grabbing it, and then putting myself up and then grabbing it.

I used to be able to get up there with one arm. It was difficult to get down with just one arm. It's like, you know.

The thing is, I used to have to wear heavy boots so I didn't float away. So it wasn't a great feat really, because, well, they weren't really great big feet, but it wasn't a great thing, because I didn't weigh much. So I guess walking, I could have probably just used the rope to guide me as I gently floated up towards the ceiling.

It was harder to get back down. Those were the days. I was good at dodgeball though.

Yeah, that's the only sport I was any good at, dodgeball. Favourite pair of shoes, trainers? No, nothing really. I'll tell you, the only pair of shoes I'm ever going to probably remember that I've owned was a pair of, they're like cowboy boots, when I was 16.

And this is a period when I was, well, maybe 15. 15, yeah, 15 probably, 16, 15. And I think I was getting 60 pound a week at this point.

So it must have been, yeah, must have still been 15, blimey. Anyway, I went and I bought these boots and I was wearing them. Yeah, wow.

And they clicked. I remember when there was no one around, I clicked the heels to go. There's no place like home, there's no place like home, but only if there was no one else around, because I wasn't strange.

And they clicked when I walked along and I just, I think they made me a little bit taller as well, but they were a little bit constrictive or whatever on the toes, because I've got quite, aren't quite wide feet, not like clown's feet, but my toes are better off when they're not squashed. Really, I would say. So they're probably the only pair of shoes I've ever had that would probably stand out to me.

Yeah, I do have a pair of boots, like hiking boots, but I don't, I don't wear them, really. Just have to bend over and do the shoe, do the laces up, and it's just a bit of a chore. I wish I had some biscuits.

I want a biscuit. So, that's the only pair of shoes that I'll ever really, trainers, not really, never, never had any, I've had, I've probably had three pairs of decent shoes in my life as an adult, like decent, well-made, possibly even expensive shoes. I say expensive, but you know, decent ones.

I got some, yeah, I got some 10 years ago. I'm not sure if they're the ones I got now or not. I don't know, to be honest.

They might be the ones I still got, but they were, yeah, they might be, they were, they were nice back then. They're a little bit worn now. I bought some shoes other than the boots.

I bought some shoes, yeah, twice I bought shoes for funerals. And, and I did get some shoes for, yeah, probably, yeah, hardly any really nice shoes at all. Most of my 20s, I didn't even wear shoes.

It was just trainers. Then when I reached my 30s or late, late 20s, 30s, I wasn't wearing trainers anymore. I was wearing shoes, but kind of half trainer shoes, if you know what I mean, like decent shoes, but comfortable.

I like comfortable shoes. And then I was working offices for quite a few years on and off. So I always was wearing just black shoes, really.

And then I went through a period, yeah, late 2000s. I had the same pair of shoes three times in a row. Like when they wore out, I got another pair exactly the same.

And they were really easy to wear. I think they were hushpuppies. I think, and they were comfortable straight away.

No, no slip, no blisters or anything like that. So, but this, they stopped making the ones that I liked. And then that threw me off.

I didn't know what to do. Yeah, yeah, I do need to buy, I mean, I've got some shoes now that are supposed to be waterproof, but they're not. They're not at all.

No, they're not. I had wet socks. You shouldn't walk in the pond then, should you? No, maybe not.

But it's, they do get wet. They do. And I thought waterproof meant that the water couldn't get in.

And call me old fashioned. That's what I thought that meant. That meant, I thought that meant.

That made sense to me when I said it. I do need to get some new shoes for the winter. Okay, Diana.

So thank you, Barry, Ben and Ruth. Now, Diana, do you drive? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Never do.

I've had two sets of driving lessons. Never. And one of the problems I had was, I don't know what's the right way to describe it, is a spatial issue.

I had a spatial issue. I couldn't, I was either too far away from the pavement, or too close to the pavement, or in the middle of the road, too close to the middle of the road, you know, I can never, never really get the spatial correct. And, yeah, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't feel particularly optimistic about my chances as a driver because I was struggling to reach the basic fundamentals.

So yeah, I never ended up driving in the end. I wasn't that bothered because for most of my life, well, for 20s anyway, I couldn't have afforded a car, to run a car. In my 30s, there was times when I could have done, had I had a driving license.

And during my 40s, I couldn't have afforded to drive a car either. So there was kind of a decade when I could have driven, I suppose. Maybe not all through it, but, you know, parts of it.

So yeah, I don't, don't drive. And so the last question. Josephine, does it surprise you to know the countries that people listen in from? Yeah, it does, actually.

And Josephine says, I'm in Adelaide, Australia, but originally from Scotland. I relate to a lot of what you talk about, and love how giving you, how giving you are in sharing your experiences, and how you show such empathy, as is the way with people who have been through a lot in their life. I wonder if you know how much help you've been to so many.

Much love to you for your kindness. Wow. Thank you, Josephine.

That was a lovely, lovely message. So I guess the answer really to your question at the last part is, well, thank you. I know it's, it's more a statement than a question, which I really appreciate.

I don't really class myself as having empathy. And I don't know, I'm, I'm a bit of a weird, weird person. And so for example, my neighbor opposite me, okay, forget, okay, let's not focus on a particular person.

Let's say a neighbor. Let's say if it was a neighbor opposite me, a man in his 80s, I don't know, just as an example, I would pretty much do anything for him to help him if I could. But I don't necessarily want to spend time talking to him.

I don't want to be in his life. I don't want to be involved in his day to day stuff. Because I just guess I'm not interested in what you know, not in a bad way, just generally I'm not that interested.

But when he's in trouble, I'm there for him. And I have been and I always will be if I can. But I don't kind of class that as being empathic.

But what I've noticed is when I'm around people that I've got, when I spend a bit of time around someone that's really going through it, I actually feel ill afterwards. But if I can do something to practically to help them, I feel good. But just sit in listening, which is one of the best things to be able to do.

I should know I was a counselor. I feel ill afterwards. And when I was a counselor, I felt ill.

Not always, but I got ill doing it. It wasn't suitable for me to sit listening to people's problems. Even though I think I was quite a good counselor in some way.

But I got ill. It, you know, really, really, really got ill. So I don't know if I'm, I don't know.

I really appreciate what you said. And I'd like to be like, I'd like to be like the person you're describing there. I don't know if I am now.

I don't know. I'm really not sure. I do I do.

I love helping people. That's a fact. And I don't know why that is, though.

It's not because I'm wanting something in return. It's not because I'm wanting to go to heaven or you know, I mean, I'm not sort of thinking into the future that, oh, if I'm nice to people, then they'll be nice to me. Or if I'm, although I do believe that is the case, to be honest, but in a more of a, I the, we get back what we give kind of, that is a, it's not my idea that it's this, it's an idea with the whole kind of karmic.

So I don't buy a lot of the karmic stuff. I'm not, I'm not into the idea that I'm serious. I'm not, I'm not into the idea that my life is the way it is because of what I did last time I was here.

Because I'm not taking responsibility for that. I'm sorry. I'm not, you know, if if I was here again, I don't know if I was I don't care.

But the whole idea of like, oh, you go through this because of something you did in your last life. Like, come on. But I do believe if you're kind and help other people, then only good things can come from that.

And that's how I've tried to be. I haven't, hasn't always worked. I'm not always kind.

I'm just a human being. And I got bipolar. So I've got, I've got mood swings.

And I try not to be sometimes I'm not nice. But at the same time, I try not to be nasty. So when I'm in that mood of not being nice, I really make the effort to keep away from people.

Yeah. So I don't know. I'm not sure what I am.

I know a few people in the past. I struggle when I try to explain that. I care.

Doesn't mean I'm always interested though. It's really, I don't have a natural interest in people like generally have a general interest. I'm interested from a psychological perspective, especially about crowds and, you know, social psychology and stuff like that, that does interest me.

But when I'm interested, when, when, when I focus on something and I ask somebody a question, or a follow up, a follow up question to something they've said, that only ever happens when I'm interested in their answer. So I never ask a question unless I, I want to hear the answer. So I don't, I'm not great with small talk.

I think small talk's a bit of a bad word, really, isn't it? Because one person's small talk might be another person's life story. And in my case, it is, isn't it? I mean, what I talk about half the time is just a bunch of nonsense. But if you break through the code, I'm actually telling you all about myself.

Kind of something in a way, in a way. Hmm. Yeah, I don't know.

Just trying to think. But as far as surprising me, the countries that people listen to me, you know, I tell people, like family, maybe friends, I'm sure they don't believe me. They don't believe there's people all around the world listening to me.

It's almost like I'm just like a liar, you know, just making it up. But there's people from practically every country of the world. And when I was on YouTube back in when was it? 2010.

No, 2011. No, 2010. Yeah, 2010.

I used to do counseling at this youth children's charity, and I'd be there in the evening. And sometimes I'd help volunteer, and I'd stay there. So even if I didn't have clients all the way through, I'd stay there till a certain time because there was a another member of staff there would leave at the same time.

And I would be on the computer checking my stats for my YouTube channel. And I think I had like 128 different countries, people watching me on YouTube. And I just couldn't believe it.

I remember telling the member of staff all about it and she, her eyes glazed over. She was not interested. I just couldn't believe I mean, I might be exaggerating the amount of countries but there might only be 30 in the world.

I don't know. I don't know. But there was people from all over the world.

And it's weird to think over the years, the amount of people that would have heard my squeaky voice. Millions. So weird, isn't it? Probably millions of people, even if they only heard me say, Hello, and welcome to www.jasonnewland.com. And they just turned it off.

Imagine how many people heard me just for a few seconds. Maybe for two minutes. And the maybe people that have listened to me for just a short period, just for helping them to get through something.

I mean, I've, yeah, I've had messages from people telling me that I helped them get through university. Or, yeah, different things. And it's, it's always out of the blue, just don't expect it.

Even back in 2009, I think it was, I had a message from a someone telling me that his mum listened to me in the last sort of period of her life. And it helped her. And he was just thanking me.

I was like, wow. I don't know who the person was. I don't, I didn't know who his mum was.

Never spoke to her. I'd never had contact with her. It is, yeah, it's, it's, it's quite powerful stuff, really.

So if I hadn't done this, if I hadn't actually started this whole journey of making recordings, back in 2006, 18 years ago, 19 years in January, it will be, I wonder where I'd be now. I wonder what I'd be doing. Yeah, strange.

So, yeah, it does, it does make me wonder. I mean, I don't get great statistics anymore. I can't get great, like, what I mean is, details.

And I'm still reaching different parts of the world. But I don't always know kind of where. YouTube is still quite slow, but it's, it's going to start growing.

But I just, yeah, I just find it. I mean, there's periods of time where I just, I don't get much feedback. And that's what I really would like.

I mean, back in, you know, a few years back, I would ask, especially when I was on YouTube, I'd ask people on Facebook, Twitter, wherever else, to share my videos, to share the post, which is kind of what social media was for, wasn't it? You could put, if you was promoting yourself, then someone could share that post onto their page, and more people could get to see you.

But no one shares any of my stuff. It's like, you know, like, let's all keep it a secret.

This weird man. Let's keep this weird man secret. We don't want to, I don't, is everyone embarrassed with me? I don't want anyone to know they listen to me.

I'm a dirty secret. Blimey. Oh, so yeah, it's quite cool to know that people listen to me from all over the world.

It's, recently I had someone, well, I say recently, it's a while back, but someone contacted me to let me know that I have listeners in China, but they have to use a D, is it DNS? Whatever it is, you know, like a proxy to cover up their, where they're from, because they can't access my stuff on the Chinese internet. So they have to use, pretend they're from America or something, or from London in order to listen to me.

So I've got people in India, I've got people, Saudi Arabia, all over listening.

So it's cool. And I suppose if I continue doing it, maybe more people will listen. I tell you what's weird, though, really strange.

I bet you there's people listening to me now that weren't even born when I started doing this, when I started making recordings. And I don't mean the Let Me Bore You To Sleep because that's what, six years. So it'll be, the Let Me Bore You To Sleep podcast will be seven years old in, what was it, October, November, December, January, February, about five months time.

Seven years. 2018. Wow.

So six and a half years old. So that's it, really. So thank you for your kind words.

Thank you for all your questions. And I mean, I've been doing this Q&A Friday for a while now. So you know, I'll probably just continue doing it.

Yeah, I think maybe next week, I'll try and put the questions out a little bit earlier. Because I did, I left it to the last minute this week. I just forgot about it.

But that's it. That's me done. I don't know how long I've talked for.

Thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy. Be gentle with yourself.

Lots of love. Bye.