(no music) #1149 - Q&A Friday - Let Me Bore You To Sleep (21st June 2024)

Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep this is this is Q&A Friday oh yes so please only listen when you can safely close your eyes got a little bit of background sound from the Vinnie Meister chomping on a bone so he seems quite happy of course if there's some mere tiny little squeak from a door opening somewhere in a building he will probably be howling Daddy, Daddy, Daddy,

there's someone in the building just he gets so excited I don't think he's trying to protect me I think he's just wants to see them wants to meet them wants to say hello it's uh you know if I had burglars in this place it you know it'd stop them from getting away because he'd be so cute and they'd want to be stroking him and he'd be like oh love me love me and the police would turn up and they'd be still be here giving them treats he's just ah bless him

anyway Q&A Friday should just get on with it really because there's so many questions this is about the I don't know probably the ninth or tenth Q&A Friday so far I'm not going to go all the way back because it'll take ages but done a few now done a few so I posted on my Facebook group which is Jason Newland's Boring Group please join join join join please please it's a good place for you to meet other people that mildly like what I do and you can also ask me questions

and communicate with moi and others as well and also my YouTube channel I've been working on that all week actually well for a few weeks it's still growing it's uh hard work hard not not hard but laborious I said what is it that's the word of today laborious and I've been I've now got what I got one thousand one thousand two hundred ninety five subscribers it's gone up by about 109 subscribers in the last month which is 90 more than usual so it's just going okay it is is well how

many how many how many recordings have I got I think over 800 now I think so I've been doing the deep sleep whisper recordings turning them into videos which is it's very time consuming they're okay though because they've got visuals they've got graphics moving spirals and stuff and I'm up to 120 of the deep sleep whisper ones all of the I'll just quickly go through what I've got on here because I've got playlists I'll wait until I've finished all of the recordings before I start doing a playlist for them so

yeah over 810 at the point let's have a look 814 820 wow 825 800 okay 825 videos on my YouTube channel if you want to support me on there or subscribe I would just want to watch the videos because there's quite a few old videos on there as well of me when I still had my model looks you want to see me when I was I mean it's hard to believe I could ever be more sexy than I am now I know it's a really it's a mind fart just to

even imagine it but I used to be if you go back look at some of the stuff um there's videos going all the way back to well some of the more recent ones are the more popular ones so sleep hypnosis weekly one and that was from probably 2018 which was around the time or maybe 2017 but around the time I started doing these Let Me Bore You To Sleep that was March 2018 and so yeah I've got 800 and 825 videos available to watch I'll just give you a quick brief

rundown of the podcast of the the playlists so there's a stop smoking playlist which has got 11 videos on there's the short anxiety reduction it's only five videos that's from 2019 chronic pain Tuesday which was from 2018 and that is okay okay there's 10 on there there's a 2012 course I did daily hypnosis course 2012 blimey that's when I was oh if you want to know if you want to have a look at the the grimy room that I used to live in before I moved here I turned this grimy

it wasn't when I'm this wasn't horrible when I moved in but now it's dilapidated but that's because of me this place that I moved in before it was already like that so they painted over the walls they painted over them over the walls they painted over the mold rather and then as I was there I mean I've only been there for about a month or a few weeks and I got a really bad chest infection and it was because of the lack of ventilation and the mold I guess I didn't

realize there was mold even had slugs I kept seeing these trails on the floor and I on the carpet and I I didn't know where they were coming from it was very disconcerting to be honest where is this this is very strange and then one night I woke up during the night and turned the light on and it was these slugs everywhere oh dear so um I mean lucky I say luckily the fact that a social worker when I got when I became unwell and I was diagnosed a second type

of bipolar so I ignored the first one the social worker came around my flat to sort of see my living conditions and to talk to me so there was two two people and I had nowhere to sit because literally there was a bed and behind or in front of the bed there was a chair which I sat in and that was it it was we kind of had to sit on the bed and um we all made love it was brilliant no we didn't it she was shocked at how small

it was not the first woman to say that to me well I'm on a roll today she was like how can you live in a place like this it's underground literally underground it was a basement and it used to be because there was a hospital around the corner and it used to be a student residence student nurses but the rooms were twice the size so what they did is they knock they they put partitions between the rooms so they get more rooms that's obvious isn't that so that's kind of why

they had kitchenettes because there was a kitchenette in there so it was a room and then there was a um a sink and a little cabinet you know a little um kitchen cabinet on the wall and stuff and there was a fridge so the kitchen bit was quite nice I quite liked the kitchen bit because it was handy because it meant I could wash my hands I didn't have to keep going into the bathroom to do that stuff and you know I could clean my teeth and whatever I could do

that stuff in in my flat however well there was no kitchen so there was no there's no shared kitchen with a washing machine or a cooker or anything like that so I had this I know this isn't one of this is not one of the questions perhaps I should describe this another time but there was this um I'm still going to do it anyway it was this what was it like a grill thing like a camper grill with two hobs on top white two black hobs on top and it was

the grill was just big enough for it like an oven grill thing just big enough for a small pizza not tiny pizza but like a small frozen pizza and I had a couple of saucepans and I was just eating pasta and stuff like that for quite a few months well anyway when I applied to get housing they put me onto a bracket which was really low like probably 10-15 years before I would have even been anywhere near the top like genuinely so really it would have been a long time and

so I contacted my social worker and I said I explained the situation I said because I'd already been to the housing department and they they said well there's nothing we can do unless you've got some kind of a letter from a social worker or someone like that so that's what I did I contacted my social worker and said could you send a letter please because she knew all all my situation she knew all the treatment I was getting and everything like that medication I was on and isn't it weird I

feel nostalgic for when I was ill strange probably because I'm not very well at the moment so maybe except at that time I was actually getting some support not financially financially it was a bit dire but I was at least getting some help the thing is I know they can't keep people on forever so anyway I'm not here to talk about that am I the the letter from the social worker is what put me up to be able to apply for flats and it only took probably three or four months

before I was at the top of the list so it's just amazing really it's just I wish I think this place is tainted and perhaps I should just not let it be tainted but with all of the stuff that's gone on and some of the stuff that's still going on to be honest I need to yeah getting back in touch with a bit of gratitude of actually having this place having my own place having Vinnie and having the the opportunity to have Andre for six and a half years I mean

that was a beautiful thing I mean however weird it might be to some other people he was so special to me you know anyone has listened to our podcasts in the past that are well aware of that you can't fake that kind of love but he I love that little boy now Vinnie I do I was I think I'm quite lucky to have Vinnie because he came into my life I know it's not easy having a dog is a lot harder than having a ferret because ferrets you haven't got to

take them out some people just live in cages the whole time and take him out just to play Andre wasn't like that he lived in the flat this was his home I was his lodger and I did take him out most days but there was periods sometimes a whole week sometimes longer where I wouldn't take him out because I wouldn't go out myself but I don't have that option with Vinnie and it's like a I suppose a double-edged sword it's good on some level it's like healthy gets me out but

sometimes I need to be in because what's weird is I don't always know what mood I'm in but I try and be a little bit self-aware but so genuinely I don't know I know sometimes I know I'm in a bad mood but I don't realize how how bad it is until I'm around people and I start getting super grumpy I usually keep it inside but it's amazing like just weird moods are weird I'll talk about what I might do okay when I've eventually got all my stuff onto YouTube and I

start making live videos well you know like with me on camera rather not live although I might do the odd live stream I'm going to start doing again my Jason Chats and I'm going to be calling it the Bipolar Jason Chats Bipolar Vlog or Jason Chats Bipolar I don't so I used to I started calling it updates that was the first thing I used to call the videos which were my vlogs I didn't even know what a vlog was this is like about 2007 so I don't think they had names

yet vlogs didn't have it wasn't a term and I just used to do the odd catch up the odd update you know this is what I'm doing this is the latest recordings I remember when I moved into a new room just after I'd started university in 2007 so it was about November 2007 ish the month the year's correct but something about November and I remember doing a video just telling talking about I've moved now I'm doing this and you know I'm at university I've now got a new place and and

that was just an update and I did a few of those updates lost most of them along the way because sometimes I'd go on a bit of a rant or I'd talk about stuff that was perhaps a little bit too personal to be honest and I know that I do talk about personal stuff and probably way too much a bit too honest sometimes but I try and stick it about stick it I try and stick to myself like try and talk about myself rather than other people I don't don't really

talk about other people unless it's someone from a long time ago and I'll change their name anyway and it will be and I'll try not to put people in a bad light if I can help it sometimes there's funny stories that involve other people a lot of funny stories involve other people all the funny stories no so I've also got some I started doing a Jason Chats vlogs call them Jason Chats I think probably 2010 maybe and or 2011 I think I used to call myself the bearded lover vlogs the

bearded lover or something so yeah I've had a different few Winky Wonky was another one so there's been a few different vlogs so what I might do is get to the point never gonna happen never gonna get to the point and I've got questions to answer I've been talking for 20 minutes and I've not even answered one question not even even mentioned the fact that there's questions well obviously I have because I just did just did and I perhaps I could go into more depth about the the mood mental stuff

you know mental health issues side of things in the Jason Chats bipolar vlog maybe that's what I'll do but you know what's going to happen if I do that it'll just be exactly the same as this but I'll be talking about more serious subjects it'll be exactly the same it won't be any different because it'll just be me and this is me so whether I'm talking about uh you know when I was 16 and I I only had four pounds and I decided to spend it all on ice cream instead

of food for the week you know I mean that that's a story or Viennetta ice cream or I used to love Viennetta ice cream Viennetta Viennetta yeah it was Viennetta wasn't it one with chocolates chocolate chips in it and what did I used to have with it Viennetta and a cake I think I used to have like cake and put it in there melt it I think and then I'd feel ill afterwards I'd eat the whole thing I'd feel incredibly sick because I hadn't eaten any food it was just sugar

basically and you wonder why you're nearly diabetic now no I don't wonder I'm pretty sure I mean it's kind of on record and many videos in the past with a can of coke sitting on the desk next to me you know I used to drink a lot of coke I drink no coke anymore but I used to I used to drink sugar in my tea I haven't had any sugar in my tea for I can't even remember the last time now it's got to be a good couple of weeks and

I don't even have breakfast cereal with sugar on anymore it's a bit rubbish to be honest ah dried fruit I mean it's great dried fruit's fine but I don't know it just ruins the tea ruins it you keep like swallowing little bits of fur so I've got questions to answer so here we go oh yeah so if you want to find out about my YouTube channel oh here we go that's what I was going to say stop smoking there's 11 videos short anxiety reduction course 2019 five videos chronic pain tuesday

10 videos that's from 2018 2012 daily hypnosis course 18 videos that's from the old place I used to live that's insane if you want to check that out you'll see the background and there's the let me bore your pain away there's nine videos there I think one of those videos is actually me on camera the rest aren't the there's the asmr whisper Let Me Bore You To Sleep there's 10 videos on there bed Jason's bedtime story time 30 videos stress and pain relief 47 videos sleepy boring objects 36 videos and

then there's the relax and sleep hypnosis daily which has got 40 on there but I will delete that playlist and then add all of the relax and sleep hypnosis dailies when I've done them all which will be in a couple of months probably so yeah I tell you what's weird where's the others next page oh I do have others on there as well okay Let Me Bore You To Sleep there's a playlist 197 videos on there is a Andre so 62 videos on Andre really old videos which is me just

going all the way back to 2009 I think onwards so there's a lot of old stuff a very bad quality picture bad quality sound but sexy quality face or and there's the Jason Chats vlog there's 57 of those videos and that's what I'm talking about all kinds of weird stuff over the years there's quite a few um I think most of those I would have Andre at some point in the video if it was during his period of being with me and that's it for now okay let's move away from

that step back so the questions for today is let's have a look top comments I don't want to I want all comments so there's one two three four five but one of the five people is five people one of them is one two three questions so it's three four five six seven questions wow says Diana Phil Molly Jen Teresa so thank you all of you for your questions and I will now attempt attempt attempt attempt to answer in fact there was another question and I can't remember where it was from

uh John oh it's gonna bug me now let's have a look see if it's earlier on in the week because he might have posted it um oh man Ken okay Ken so Ken I'll do Ken's first because it's on a different bit of the page it's not under the it's under the Q&A from last week but it's fine I did I kind of checked it in my brain to remember so so I know I said John but Ken hi Ken thanks for your question so I'm gonna answer Ken's question first

uh okay Jason what do you think has driven you so much to do so much since you are a master content creator by any standards I have seen in 20 years I think I'm just a gifted genius um okay I do have quite a simple question answer to that actually because you know my main focus when I started doing all this in 2006 was from an online perspective was to first of all to put the recordings I was recording in live group sessions I was doing at the drug and rehab

and the alcohol charities to put them online firstly for the people that went there to listen to them when they're at home and secondly to maybe for other people to listen to as well that may find it useful and as I got more into it discovered podcasts and then YouTube came along uh with my space I I suppose what I wanted to do is maybe it's just the way I am but I like to have options I like to have a choice and sometimes the some of the big the famous

hypnotists will do a you know a relaxation session and that would be the only relaxation session they do they might do like loads of different recordings but for different things but there'll only be one for relaxation and maybe only one for insomnia and although I you know I do like listen to the same thing over and over again sometimes especially if it's relaxation or stress relief things like that uh you know it can you know it's good to listen to the same thing however it wasn't so much to give just

to give people a choice to listen to different recordings but I realized that quite early on that I was never going to be able to please everybody and I'm never I never will it's not going to happen but you know what's it Buddy Holly said if you try and please everyone you'll please no one uh-huh and the uh-huh that was that was that Buddy Holly uh-huh there you go and baby here am I away left me here so I could even cry um yes so I started thinking well what if

I do different types of recordings different types of relaxation recordings different types of sleep recordings different types of pain relief chronic pain relief recordings and videos and audios and that was kind of why to be honest that's why I I did that and before I moved here in 2015 April 2015 I had at least a thousand recordings now I've lost a lot of those recordings along the way I'm not I've started like lost a laptop blew up or whatever and I've just I've lost and also a podcast stopped doing them

and all different things over the years I'm really working on backing stuff up now I'm putting quite a lot of effort into that because I don't want to lose my stuff anymore it's taking me so long to get to this point and so yeah that's that's when I started doing in 2000 so I was I was doing the videos I was making loads of videos like daily I was making videos sometimes two three a day on YouTube and they weren't always long they weren't always they're just like short 10 minute

ones that I might do in the bathroom in the mirror and I wouldn't do it in the mirror but I'd look in the mirror what would I yeah I can't anyway I'd be in the bathroom because it's very light in there in one of my previous places my dwellings and you know I just do lots of recordings I make lots and sometimes I just felt I wanted to talk about a subject and have an idea of I don't know an idea what I could do a routine a technique whatever you

want to call it but just it's always a rough idea to be honest and probably the most effort I don't know if you can hear the gobs outside shouting and probably the closest I get to planning would be the chronic pain ones and that's more trying to figure out something a little bit unique something different maybe and quite often in the past when I've started let's say I've decided just trying to think off the top of my head that I'm gonna do a surreal one so imagine that you've yeah you've

got a chimney on the top of your head and you can let out the smoke which is the stress out of the top of your head and which is it and which is a weird weird thing really to think and I don't know just just there's just that I just I've got the image now and it just it's disturbed me so I might have that idea and I'll start the recording start you know recording myself and I'll go off in a different direction and end up talking about sand castles you

know imagine that the chronic pain is a sand castle you've made and just wash watch the water come in and dissolve it basically turn it to mush or imagine your body parts all made of sand your whole body's made of sand and to relax and you know just that kind of stuff and another thing was I mean you might also be asking about the different things I do as well so I've done it's not so much boredom but I like to try new things and I haven't done anything new for

quite a while not really not recently I mean I started the Let Me Bore You To Sleep what six years ago six and a half years ago and then I did the sleepy boring objects I did the Jason's bought Jason's bedtime story time and ASMR Let Me Bore You To Sleep that I did a few of let me bore your pain away I did a few of those that's probably the the the latest one I did but that was last year I think so I do wonder what the next thing

I'm going to do but what surprised me if I'm honest is how long I've kept this one going well well over date isn't it it's just well past its sell-by date maybe these let me bore you to sleeps but I just kept doing them because people are listening to them I get I've had a lot of positive feedback about them and so I don't know it's I you know I do hope and plan to do not plan but I hope to do something new um so I'm just gonna I you

know I don't know what I suppose a little maybe what do you want me to do I might do some short courses um I tell you what once I get back on YouTube because I am on YouTube but once I get back talking on camera which I'm not hugely looking forward to but I'll be fine once I start doing it again because I used to do it for years I was one of the first YouTube hypnotists literally one of the first it was just a handful of us um in the

old days back in 2007 there was it sounds weird just like I was one of the first I reckon if I'd have kept that channel I had about 3 000 subscribers which to me was a lot at the time and I reckon if I'd have kept it going for the last 12 years because I think it was about 12 years ago that I deleted that channel I reckon I have about three and a half thousand subscribers now I think I'll be doing really well for myself really well I mean can

you imagine I might have millions of views every year I don't know but hey it's not like I didn't do anything I focused on the podcasts so I did continue to do this stuff but YouTube I don't know I just find people have been a lot more kinder to people who contact me regarding my podcasts than on YouTube you know some people I don't know not lately to be honest I've had quite a few kind comments on YouTube lately but in the past I had a few really unkind words said

and just didn't really enjoy it didn't enjoy that that side of things anyway so the reason I've done lots of different things lots of different types of podcasts is partly to stimulate myself because just thinking back to during lockdown I did the the relaxation for stress anxiety and panic attacks and I was doing them daily pretty much every day every two days really regularly I was making those recordings and I was I don't know how many I did in the end did it's really I can't remember it's there somewhere but

I did 200 I think 207 maybe 200 yeah I think it was a couple hundred and they were very much off the top of my head really I was I had this microphone which was a lapel microphone and I'd walk around and pace around talking so not the quality of the sound wasn't sand the quality of the sound I'm trying to pronounce my words correctly because of a question that's coming up um the quality of the sound wasn't always great but the quality of the content I think was quite good

because it was very from the heart and yeah I think some of that's probably possibly some of my better work actually and then some of the other stuff I've done what is it the relax and sleep hypnosis daily I've done lots of those I mean it's really perhaps I shouldn't have the word daily in there it isn't daily but you can listen to them daily I suppose I might get back to doing them daily in the future and what other ones there's the deep sleep whisper hypnosis which was one of

my most popular podcasts that I had back when I had Spreeco and they were all individual podcasts now I don't have individual podcasts because it costs too much and Spreeco wouldn't allow me to have any recordings with music and I kept with Spreeco and I got rid of the ones of music and nobody listened literally there was no one listening it was just pointless so I just didn't bother anymore with Spreeco but it's a bit of a shame because I built those podcasts up for years I mean I started the

deep sleep whisper ones I think before I even moved in here or maybe yeah I think so it's just you know the first I did about 10 of them or maybe more before I moved here so that's a long time ago and anyway those have always been popular so I've kept with them I did one a couple of weeks ago actually and what else is there oh then there's this one Let Me Bore You To Sleep and this is number I don't even know what number it is 1000 and something

genuinely I'm not sure one thousand and I've got a string goes go down keep going down that's it there we go there we go 1149 that's this one wow wow 1149 so I had no idea that I was going to be doing this many I didn't you know I thought maybe 10 20 30 and then I'd do something else but the fact that I've kept it going for this long just surprises me really so it's six years and three months I've been doing this wow yeah so the other part of

the question I would probably answer as well is I did people did ask me like would like it better if you had music in the background or would like it better if they were longer so what I ended up doing is over time not just doing the recording itself without any music which was the original way I did things I started adding music to the to the background as a separate recording I think I did it with music to start with yeah I think after someone asked for it and I

had people a couple of people asked me can you do them without music as well because we prefer them so I did two versions one with music one without and then people were saying some people said we prefer if it was longer because it it runs out and then there's adverts come on at the end which because the advert I used to have adverts at the beginning of the podcast so sort of on some at the time so what I did is I made the five hour ones and then made

10 hour one and then someone complained and said what was the point having a five hour one if you got a 10 hour one and I thought okay it's a fair enough question so I took the five hour ones off and people started got people contacting me saying where's the five hour ones gone I like the five hour ones they're better so I basically now do oh and recently I've added the 10 hour without music as well so there's now five versions of the same recording because that was a request

so some people like to listen to 10 hours without music and the 10 hour without music is different it's different from the from the 10 hour with music okay so but not just there's no music but it's a different recording so it's 10 hours so there you go and that's why I've got so many so the fact that I do now do five or I've been doing four up till now different versions of the recording means that that's even more than just the actual recording which is an obvious statement but

yeah I hope I've answered your question thanks for that so back to more questions so Diana asks me if you were helping us if you weren't helping us sleep what would you be doing with your time got the rude or the the rude answer I don't know I'd like to think that I'd be having fun but probably this is fun to me yeah I don't know it's what the thing is Diana I I've been doing this for so long I mean literally you know so long I can't remember a time

when I wasn't doing it I remember the time I remember I just just basically contradicted myself but I remember but I don't remember you know if I think back to 2004 I go to work I come home and you know it's on an average night I'd have my dinner have my break my you know my evening meal six o'clock or whatever time watch TV and then I wasn't drinking alcohol at the time so I just I go to bed probably read or something like that I wouldn't do anything I wouldn't

unless I yeah I probably went to the Buddhist center twice a week so on a Wednesday and a Thursday I go to the Buddhist center and then on a Saturday night on a Friday night I do nothing I just watch TV and that was what I did I mean there was part of 2004 when I was doing Wing Chun Kung Fu so I was doing that a few times a week as well I think I was doing it on a I think that was a Tuesday Thursday and a Friday or

was it a Monday Tuesday and a Friday I don't know so I was doing that a few days a week at certain times so yeah and then 2003 2002 2001 I mean I just work go home and drink you know if I'm being honest that's what I did buy some cans of lager on the way home and just drink them and then go to sleep and then get up and start all over again and sometimes I would go out socially there was a period when I had a bit of a

social life where I was working in the first insurance company I did have some friends there and we did go out it was quite uh quite nice actually I hadn't had that kind of social life before so we'd go to the pub after work always alcohol related unfortunately generally or I had a friend I used to go for meals with and we were really close so my two two of my closest friends I'd say three but one I didn't really socialize outside of work so much with but the other two

one was a bloke one was a girl woman and the the female was we were really close and like best friends really and but I was really really close to I don't remember either their name is terrible no I do actually I'm just not going to say their names on here Bert and Ingrid so that was I just remember that was kind of the last the last time I actually had a social life really was 2003 2002 was better because 2003 I was pretty unwell for quite a long time with

anxiety and stuff but I still forced myself to kind of do stuff but yeah wow so 2004 I didn't go into any pubs really I went to I was on a blind date once and I went to a pub and because I was desperate and yeah she must have been more desperate than me do you know how I know it's because when I got there she stayed she didn't leave um always a good sign so yeah I that's weird isn't it so what would I be doing I guess watching television

I mean literally if I'm going to be pedantic right now if I wasn't making this recording I would have the television on I'd be watching the news yeah so that there's there's two things I'll be doing either watching the news or I'd be not in the building with the little one underneath the table I don't want to say the word w-a-l-k with an l l-k so I'd be w-a-l-k-i-n-g with him because yeah other than that there's not really anything else I'd be doing so yeah I don't watch much so much

tv what would I be doing with my time blimey you've got me stumped there what have I done with my it's just such a long time since I've not done this stuff because it's not just the recordings that take the time up it's and there's also the editing the processing the promoting and stuff like that but there's also the YouTube videos there's the website it's all that stuff that kind of all you know different things going on so there's never any I'm never short of things to do I'm always short

I'm never short of things to do you know I've always been short although I was not pleased with the nurse a couple years ago telling me that I was now five foot seven and a half she seemed so happy to say that to me I was angry so I'm five foot eight that's all I've got don't take away my height and you know as far as it goes five foot eight it's not much of a height to start with but don't take that away from me you're five it's like saying

oh it's now only two inches oh no I've lost half an inch so yeah um should I so that's it really what would I be doing last time I didn't do this was in 2005 and even then to be fair I was still working on the website because I started trying to do the um I had a website called helpwithpain.co.uk from 2004 to 2006 and I was studying I did quite a lot of studying chronic pain and hypnosis and stuff like that during that period and trying to promote you know

that website oh well so there yeah then when I started the helpwithpain not the um freepainrelief.co.uk and the jasonnewland.com so that's the two websites I launched in although I think I had the jasonnewland.com since 2004 as well maybe earlier but I hadn't really used it because it's my name so I wanted to get that domain but yes I've had it about 20 years and the free pain relief one in I spent a lot of time promoting that online and trying to get traffic to the website and get people to you

know contact me and also put my free relaxation and pain relief recordings on there as well and the videos and stuff I had uh I think by the time I got rid of the website which was about a year I'd I think I yeah I think I had about 50 000 visitors to the website so I was quite pleased with that but after that I kind of focused I wanted to focus just on I bought I just thought I'll have this on one website jasonnewland.com have it under my name and

whoever bought the free pain relief.co.uk after me so I didn't renew it they started selling I think hemp something like you know pain relief hemp or something so they had a bit of a head start because they were getting traffic straight away mild traffic I guess so yeah what would I do I don't know I genuinely can't think what I would do if I wasn't doing this other than what I said like watching telly or dead there really wouldn't be any reason for me to get out of bed to be

honest if I didn't do this so yeah this is I don't mean just if you might say okay well you haven't made many recordings this week I haven't got out of bed many times this week I have but I've spent a lot of time it's I've not been so good this week but I made one today yeah so that's it I hope that was kind of answered your question Diana thank you for that and Phil Phil should I copy and paste my question here I really believe you need a holiday

all right so Phil did put a question earlier on I see if he answers if he asks it here I really believe you need a holiday my friend explore some place that you haven't seen before even if it's even if it's closer to home who knows the experiences you get out of it may help with some cool stories as you allow your mind to unwind as we listen plus your old stories are really getting boring no he didn't add that as me I added that a little bit thanks Phil so

yeah I think these podcasts would be a lot better if I was able to get out more get travel more spend time in different places because I have something to talk about and I do all right considering I have nothing to talk about I still still manage to talk about nothing for an hour plus pretty much every time I do one even if there's nothing happened in my life for weeks or years I still manage to find something to talk about but it would make it more I think it'd make

more interesting for me and perhaps for the listeners as well maybe for you I'm not sure but yeah I'd like to I'm not there's no way I'm nowhere I can go on holiday anywhere anytime soon and but one day you know it'd be nice one day in the future and explore some place that I haven't seen before well I haven't seen my feet for a while it's so oh did I tell I've lost some weight I'm down to about 15 and a quarter stone I was 16 stone at the beginning

of the year put maybe one pound under maybe one pound over I was just like around the 16 mark now I'm 15 and a quarter so I've lost weight and I'm guessing it's because I've really cut down on the sugar cut down on chocolate well I've had hardly any chocolate at all I had no sugar for a few weeks a couple of weeks really and and I'm starting to take it a little bit more seriously the just I'd love to go and get a burger but I can't just because I've

got high cholesterol and high sugar in my blood so I can't can't I can't I can't do that anymore I can't buy can't eat burgers and I do get I do get I'll repeat myself I do I do I do I do get every few weeks I do eat a bar of lard just don't it just have the whole things just other than that I'm fine I'm very careful now I have chips from the chip van now I don't eat many but they got you know they put salt and vinegar

on them and I know they're not healthy it's potato carbohydrates and all that but it's not very often genuinely it's not very often so it's every two days that's not it's it's and I don't even enjoy it really it's it's nice to not have to do anything you know just to have them and just you know I mean just that's it I ain't gotta cook nothing I ain't gotta prepare nothing just eat that but it's not the most satisfactory meal because I don't I've not really enjoyed eating chips since I

was what 17 you know since I worked in a chip shop it's and and that chip shop did the best chips and it wasn't because I was there it's because my boss who taught me how to do the chips made the best chips crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside he taught me how to do that there's a knack to it is I don't remember what the knack is I kind of do semi because I probably did thousands of probably cooked millions of chips probably over the two years

but um yeah I it's the so I could eat those kind of chips because they'd still be nice because they've got a nice texture but the ones I get can you make more noise please in the garden listen to a gob basically she's shouting gets a dog barking it's an old joke it's like where did you learn to whisper in a helicopter it's not my joke by the way ah so sometimes when they can hear me but they can't I'm practically whispering into a microphone there's no way in the world

they could hear me I sometimes wonder if like you know when I've got music on can people hear and then I can hear their music and I go downstairs and it's blaring out it's like so loud down there so I can hear it up here but compared to what it sounds like down there it's like full blast and I never have my music on at full blast because my ears don't like it you hear that shut up honest the other day I would nearly shout out a window it's just all

I could hear there was them lot over there yeah yeah yeah chatting loud and there was like kids and adults just having fun you know so I'm not I'm a big grumpy but it was a little bit too much I think it was like Saturday or Sunday and then it was loud music downstairs because downstairs she turns her music up to block out the noise from them and then the other neighbor turned up their music to fully block out the noise of their music and I'm up here trying to find

something to put on the TV to put some music on to try and block out all of it it just gets just silly it's really silly it's it's just one of those um not being aware of consequences of our actions I guess and I think that's really is with them they just don't understand or what they're doing is affecting other people it's not a case of oh we can't have fun I'm talking like sometimes six in the morning until 10 at night you know sometimes like there's little gaps but it's

got on and on and on and on and on they're at their half seven this morning I was awake but I kind of like what about other people what about you know other people that are trying to sleep what about other people that have to go to work well they should be up then shouldn't they lazy no but you know I just that used to be my bug bear is it big bug bear is that the right word they used to really really wind me up in the past you might

argue it still does because I've just gone on about it but it doesn't really not not hardly anything compared to how it used to hardly anything at all so anyway so that that's what I would be yeah so I would like to get do a get out out and do something at some point it'd be nice go out and on holiday or something but not anytime soon not anytime soon um right thanks for that so the next question is Molly now I know the good thing about Molly's questions is they're

always very sensible very very sensible and you know very serious so what is she saying here okay Molly would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or 10 duck-sized horses really really really oh blimey would you well to be honest with you I wouldn't want to fight a horse I like horses I like ducks as well but you know if they were attacking me of course I'd have to defend myself so I kind of think rather than you know but a horse-sized duck you wouldn't stand a chance would you I mean

it'd literally be just gobble me up and then 10 duck-sized horses yeah I'd go for the 10 duck-sized horses what are they going to do can't do anything I mean they'd be like well also forget horses the only thing horses have got because horses are not aggressive anyway I don't think ducks are either but horses the only thing they've got is size take away the size and there's nothing there you know you can't sit on it if it's tiny and the kicking that's not going to make any difference if it's

the size of a duck you might get a bruise that's about it I mean that admittedly that is 10 bruises because there's 10 10 duck-sized horses you might be surprised at how long I've given to this question but I don't know because they can get you from different angles can't they it depends what's around because if you've got stuff because they could hide plus the stamina of a horse because horses you know they they've got like 10 lungs haven't they so I think so I don't know I think I'd go

for the 10 duck-sized horses I wouldn't I really wouldn't I don't think any human being would stand a chance against a duck the size of a horse that was aggressive I think you're only trying no I'm going to change it yeah I would I go for the duck and all I do is just take a loaf of bread with me or a van full of bread duck's not going to want to attack me if I give it bread because ducks love you're not supposed to give ducks bread tell the ducks

out then but it makes them okay if that's the case if it's bad for them how come the same ducks were there every single weekend that I went to the duck pond and I took bread and everyone else took bread same ducks and they kept coming over get to know them from their markings and also they had names Bob, Steve, Alan and that was the only three names they had there was 35 ducks got a little bit confusing sometimes of course you would have you would have thought that Bill would

be a an obvious name but nope so I'm quite pleased for that that pun I gotta be honest with you I was secretly internally just then I thought I'm quite pleased with that I said the word Bill we're talking about ducks yeah I was congratulating myself internally when I was talking to you and now I've mentioned it to you it just seems a little bit mundane and not really worth celebrating now it just felt so good in the moment a bit like marriage so um yeah I definitely wouldn't go for

the ducks for the horse-sized duck unless I had enough bread yeah 10 duck-sized horses probably yeah that's what I would do and then I just but the thing is horses are cute when they're big imagine little horses like tiny little oh they'd be so cute just going yeah that's my impression of a horse that's another horse so yeah probably 10 duck-sized horses thanks Molly can you still hear them wonder why they just can't talk at human level volume imagine how lovely that would be I do wonder like people people talk

really loud like it's a different on a different frequency there's hearing this yeah like that I'm kind of more here and I just it's just a much higher not pitch but volume which is like the normal bass volume for them I mean I guess if you if you're born in a household with lots of kids lots of siblings maybe uncles aunts cousins whatever and you have to shout to be heard then maybe that's you'd have a louder speaking voice but I was born in a household with lots of siblings I

had four brothers three brothers three four three I lose track three brothers and despised them all equally no I didn't I didn't no the oldest one was the worst so no I loved they were great brilliant I remember when my my parents came back from parents evening and they they said oh your teacher's not happy with your work and you're not doing the homework and you you keep chucking tables at other pupils and he has to has to physically remove you because you keep getting into fights and stuff and my

dad said what can we do I said send me to a private school he said what I genuinely now I remember standing there near their wardrobe I don't know why I remember the wardrobe and it was open maybe because of the gimp costume in there no there wasn't I don't know why I said that so but I remember both of them were standing there in their bedroom and it's nice they took me away from the rest of the crowd so that it could be a private conversation it was weird though

is they didn't close the door and one of my brothers got told that if you use a glass hold a glass to your ear you can hear better boy they didn't point out to him as you need to put it against the wall so he was actually at the open door holding the glass to his ear like you can hear anyway mate oh yeah brainy it's a brainy one so I was a dumb one so yeah I I said send me to private school I probably didn't say it quite like

that send me to private school weren't you papa and mama wasn't quite that way but I said no I said why not you can't afford it oh that's it well that's the solution because my my solution was to get out of that house get away from everybody I didn't like living there didn't like the people I live with that would have been better for me I mean I got on with the stepmom my daughter I absolutely adored my stepmom but the brothers I could have done without I just found that

it's annoying they annoyed me so not all the time but a lot of the time and I didn't like the school I was at didn't like the house I was living in I just would have just wanted to move out really it's hard to do that when you're 12 so yeah I don't know how can you hear them shouting again this is them just talking a normal level honestly you could hear them when they shout can you imagine being that that I don't know what's the right word not annoying that

completely oblivious to others oblivious to other people at this time it was 6 35 probably trying to eat the dinner maybe watching television having a conversation do they really need to hear wow in in the garden now I love hearing it but I just think about other people you know can't help it I'm just so con-siderate so okay I'm just stop moaning now sorry Jen I hope that answered your question Molly I think you're trying to wind me up Jen is by the way if anyone's new to the welcome to

anyone new to the group Molly is the boss of this group just let you know I'm just her assistant Jen asks you often say that we all deserve to be happy what does happiness mean to you mind your own business I'm not sure I think my my perspective of telling people you deserve to be happy is I guess what I'm saying is you deserve to appreciate yourself you you I'm trying to point out that when I expand on the subject which I have done as far as why I say that

to on the recordings is that we've all done stuff to help people even without knowing we've all had an effect I mean you go on a negative version and say well we've had we've also done the opposite which is very much true as well I guess but I'm not focusing on that because sometimes I think well in the past I've needed to really feel that what I've done that I've done something worthwhile with my life that I've helped others and I don't think there's anything more worthwhile for me there's nothing

more worthwhile than helping others there's there's nothing more than that and I am in the minority when it comes to people I know because even my family don't agree with me you know charity begins at home which I understand where they're coming from with that which is weird because I've been thinking about this like that's what my dad says my brother says that you know my dad right he was an electrician for his whole life he was an electrician a career you know from leaving school all the way through to

retirement he was an electrician I know for a fact not only did he help thousands upon thousands of people during his career as an electrician and you say well he got paid for it okay it doesn't change the fact that you help people you know people would phone him up at night because something happened and they'd had no electricity in order to heat the house which was full of kids in the middle of winter he'd cut he'd leave and do that you know he'd helped a lot of people and not

only that he would always help his friends he had loads of people that would call him up just to do something a little job or here and there or help out something electrical that they didn't know how to do and he'd be there he'd drop what he was doing and he'd go even if it was a Sunday afternoon sunbathing or whatever it'd drop even if it was only for 10 minutes he'd go off help out the person whether it was a neighbor a family member or a friend or just someone

that he knows just someone that he'd previously one of his previous clients or whatever you want to call them customers so I didn't point this out to him when they were saying oh you know because it's a dig at me when they say when my brother and my dad said oh you can you know charity starts at home it's the idea that I'm doing all this I think it's well meaning on their part in a way because they know that I've in the past got myself into quite a bit of

debt doing this like paying out for equipment multiple times over the years I've kind of I've spent a lot of money um probably out of 30 grand probably if not more over the years doing this with all the different things I paid for but the thing is what they don't realize is this this is my life and you know my argument is charity if you help people you care about it's not charity anyway you help your family it's not charity that's not what charity means there's not even a meaning of

it you know it's not helping people it's not charity isn't helping your parents or helping your son so that was my kind of argument on that one but I guess that they're concerned and they're in there because they don't understand my brain I don't even understand my brain but they because they don't understand why I'm doing this because it's meaningless to them you know it's just a little hobby that I do well it's not actually that it's my life you know it it sounds weird because I just I talk a

load of rubbish don't I for an hour at a time in the hope that you might get bored and go to sleep but and hopefully you're you know you relax and have a chuckle along the way maybe I don't know how much of that background noise you can hear hopefully not too much because the microphone is near me it's not near them imagine if it was near them behind me and I was up here talking you wouldn't hear me at all obviously so yeah I what was the question that I

was asking what does happiness mean to me helping others meaning having meaning for me personally having meaning um I know that I get taken advantage of sometimes in like real life in human encounters and people will know or they I don't know if they I'm not sure if it gets passed on from person to person that I find it practically impossible to say no when when someone asks me for help which wouldn't be so bad if it was just can you help me to do something you know um I don't

know can you can you help me to get a delivery I can't get home in time but can you sign for the delivery something like that which is easy for me to do and you know I'm happily help people with that uh or can you help me phone the council because I've locked myself out or can you phone the locksmith I've done stuff like that and I'm I'm happy to help people in those situations but what's happened more recently over the last few years is and started happening again again like

is people asking for money asking for stuff that I don't have promising to give it back and not giving it back and it's just yeah that's why did I get talking about this that yeah so that I think that's why like my my my family don't know about this side of things I don't talk about this to anyone but I struggled to say no I don't know why I don't know how I never used to honestly I 20 years ago I'd say no I'd sometimes I'd say no for no reason

you know someone start talking I said no would you no are you sure you don't know like in the end I'm walking up in walking home in the rain and like why is everyone just riding past me no one's offering a lift the next day I found out that they all tried to offer me a lift but I just kept saying no so I got drenched so doing something doing this happiness I think I mean happiness not might not be the right correct words to be honest because it means different

things to different people um yeah maybe contentment I wish I had the mute button for them just I think everybody should come with a a volume control you know you could just like just without being rude just turn down their volume so they and they probably wouldn't notice anyway because it's too busy talking at you to realize that you're even turning their volume down if you even notice you're even there probably so yeah I guess I feel everybody oh my stomach's gurgling now god blimey so if the background sound if

you can hear a lot of screaming and stuff I do apologize I can't I'm not gonna I'm not gonna start recording again and doing and getting rid of the recording because of that otherwise I'd hardly ever make a recording because there's always noise going on sometime you know the amount of times I start recording and especially when I do the whisper ones it's almost impossible to find the right time to do them because someone will start lawnmower or there'll be a motorbike being played with in the garden or there'll be

someone shouting and screaming but you know with the with the the whisper ones it's very hard to combat that I hope I do hope that this microphone's blocked out most of that stuff in the background but with the background music it will probably drown it out I think I'm guessing it might not though it might not so Jen I probably didn't really answer your question very concisely but what does happiness mean to me it means different things means different things I don't really know there are times when I think I

feel happy and it's it's it can be difficult though because of the moods I have whether it's just a feeling I mean it's always just a feeling but whether it's a feeling or where the feeling's coming from what are you doing under there Vinnie?

Vinnie's searching for something but I don't know what what are you searching for baby what are you searching for I see you there yes I do I see you um anyway so the next question I have to think about that maybe get back to you with that one oh excuse me Teresa has got three questions so I'll do really quick questions the first time I heard you say blimey blimey I thought you said blow me what does it mean okay so blimey it's kind of I didn't realize I said it

it's it's just uh English expressions like wow blimey wow it's just kind of like an expression of could be surprise or astonishment I get kind of does that make sense um I've never said blow me to anyone to be honest with you but blimey um you really did a lot of other anyone else thought I was saying blow me no I was losing audience members I probably have uh 25 people listening to me by now if I and if people didn't think I was saying blow me but instead of four

that I have so what does it mean is it two words combined blimey which actually b l i m e why I think blimey I want to search now I want to see what the the original meaning blimey so it says here used to used to express surprise excitement or alarm which is kind of I think that's how I described it then wasn't it really so b l i m e y um for example blimey what a lot of food but then it says here blimey is usually used when the

speaker is annoyed by something that has gone wrong or is going wrong well it doesn't have to be that it could be surprise it could be annoyance like blimey I generally wouldn't use the word blimey if I was angry at something probably not um yeah so b l i m e y kind of surprise shock uh in just like I don't know you know if you okay we had uh I think last Saturday we there was the King's Colors or something um where there was loads of planes military aircraft flying

over very low towards London from where I live but I won't fly in from where I live I don't live we don't I don't live on an airfield but they they were flying over and very loud one was particularly loud and I remember thinking to myself blimey okay that's uh that's that's the whole story when this is the second question from Teresa is it Teresa or Teresa Teresa Teresa yeah when you say similar words like brother father or together I'm saying correctly by the way I hear you saying brother father

and together let's talk about that that's a very um proper of you let's talk about that now shall we um it's just the way I talk it's an accent really that's what it is um I don't know where you're from Teresa uh but it's not the same with every part of the country is not the same so if you lived in uh up north the brother it might be like that brother but I say brother but it's a v it's supposed to be th I know father father father could be

a different place father father that's another you know different accents but I say father brother sister that doesn't work uh mother together well together is is a v anyway isn't it oh no it's a th together it just looks correct together ever to get ever together yeah so it's just a v in terms of th it's uh just an accent I'm sort of southern I used to be a northerner I used to live in Newcastle when I was I went there when I was about two and a half till about

five or four and a half I was there for a couple of years five I don't know five maybe yeah so I was there two and a half years or something so I pretty much grew up speaking Newcastle what's that thing what are you looking for what are you looking for he wants something he wants my attention that's what he wants he wants food he's hungry I think yeah okay give me a second mate so yeah that's all it is it's just an accent um uh it's weird though because at

the beginning of this recording I did like look through the questions and I've been trying to talk correctly throughout I hope you might have noticed um I can speak correctly it's just sometimes there's also a pretty maybe I slur a little bit sometimes I noticed that sometimes with the hypnosis stuff especially when I start to drift off and the words aren't coming out particularly concise which is a little bit annoying I hope that I've answered that one favor favor is how it's spelled f-a-v-e-r or no favor is f-a-v-o-u-r oh father

sorry uh number three shush Vinnie stop with all the what you're whining why are you whining so number three is from Teresa this is the last question tell us about that the first time you met your old bff Andre and some fun memories of when you all worked together or hung out so what I'm going to do before I answer this question I'm going to give Andre um give Andre give Vinnie his dinner do you want your din-dins you want num-nums and then I'll come back and answer this question because

uh otherwise he's just going to be going and you might be able to listen to him eating okay wait a second just need to quickly do something right right right right Vinnie's had his dinner and I just found out it's boxing on tonight yay on normal telly which is good channel five so um oh yeah Andre the original Andre Mr Andre Dooley who is what I I named Andre after sounds like a stupid question stupid thing to say really isn't it I named Andre after Andre or did you well Andre

he's one that was named after Andre yeah yeah okay um it was weird because not long before we'd found out that Andre was not around anymore so it's uh kind of strange really it's a good lost contact and yeah so anyway so the first time I met Andre was in this cold storage place I used to work and he was he wasn't the boss he was just another worker like me and then he got a contract and then I think he might have already had a contract I was just temp

and then the our supervisor lovely bloke he he lost his job because he he went to prison for a while so he he was a lovely bloke but he was it's just one of those he he did a really really silly thing because he was trying to stop his girlfriend from leaving him she was on the train and he tried to hold the train up by phoning the police up and saying that there was there was a reason for the train to be abandoned let's put it this way and yet

there's no malice but it was in the 90s early 90s not a good time to be doing that and it was at liverpool street station he phoned from opposite liverpool street station like he well just outside of liverpool street station he was in a phone box which is opposite the metropolitan metro the metropolitan police so he was surrounded within seconds and yeah he did some time I saw him when he got out and that's why I don't make light of I make light of what he did but not of the

effect it had on him I mean I'm sure it had adverse effects on other people as well and but he genuinely genuinely was a nice bloke really gentle wouldn't hurt anyone and but he he was smitten heartbroken or whatever crime of passion whatever you want to call it and but anyway Andre then took the job he became the supervisor and things became weird because I was already friends with him I was already hanging out with him and going drinking with him stuff like that before we became supervisor and he but

I never I used to see him outside of work but I never never let anyone know where I was living but one day him and this other bloke that I was working with well basically they followed me home because I would never let anyone know where I lived because I wanted to keep just myself to myself but I'd sometimes go out with them for a drink after work in that and you know so I was I was in upstairs been in for about five minutes and there was a knock at

the door and there was him Andre and the other bloke like laughing at me we know where you live it was like how old are you he said I'm 27 I said that wasn't actually a question but um it sounded like a question so that that was kind of from then on I mean no one ever knocked on my door no one ever called around anyway because it wasn't wasn't that kind of place the landlady didn't really like people didn't like me either for last year I was there but I

wasn't so you see um the I think I started just progressed you know I started hanging out with him and then then I moved in to where did I move in yeah I moved into one of my friend's places someone else I worked with who was dating Andre's sister when they were living together so I moved in with him for a very short time and then they got evicted because it was a sublet we all had to move out and one of the people we worked with had a solution so

I ended up living with him and Andre in their house and that's when I got to know Andre a lot more a lot closer and I mean we were still hanging out and a long time before that so from 2002 to 2004 this was summer so we'd had a couple of years of knowing each other and then I lived with them for a while and then we were going out drinking and going to nightclubs and all that stuff the thing about him is I don't want to use a term a

babe magnet but he was and I know it's an old-fashioned misogynist term probably I would never use it myself but he women were just attracted to him not all women obviously but a lot of young females really he was almost like a I don't know you couldn't have a I don't know what the right word is but he had something that attracted women like literally there I remember he was in a nightclub and there was this woman in there and she I thought she's probably about 19 and she you know

she was following him around for hours like begging him to go home with her and he wouldn't it's not because he he didn't want to just he it's split up with his girlfriend and he was still in love with his girlfriend even though they weren't together and he wouldn't go back with her and she was saying to me what's wrong with him I said I don't know but I'll come back she laughed thinking I was joking and I said what if I try and get him back and can I at

least watch and she laughed again thinking I was joking again anyway some of the weird things he did the silly things he did is I remember we was out in this pub and it was full of travelers or was it travel bikers it was a gang of people that were all together and I think it was Trevor but it was oh no that was a different story oh this is a different story that was a different friend we used to go into this little pub on the corner just I don't

know five minute walk from where we lived and we spent the entire summer of 2004 in that pub every night of the week it was like it was like a living room like someone's living room and we were in there all the time every penny went on on beer but it was quite a nice summer to be honest it's quite good and he Andre was I remember he'd come in and said I got no money and me and the other person was like so you're not having any of mine you're

not having any of my beer and I'm not buying you any and he'd go off he'd walk off in a huff and because I didn't have any money you know but it had to make it just because he was acting like a little kid and he would come back one night this particularly this happened and he came back and he was sitting in the it was I think it was raining and it was thunder or something he was sitting in a garden holding a coat hanger or coat hanger and I

said what are you doing he said I'm trying to get electrocuted I just want a beer he was like really feeling sorry for himself and like we laughed you might say you shouldn't laugh at stuff like that if you saw a picture of it you'd laugh first of all the fact that he was just there all slumped over just like feeling sorry for himself in a t-shirt just looking up at the sky waiting for you know waiting for something to happen one arm up holding a coat hanger a plastic coat

hanger okay so that was just one of those weird moments and and then yeah the traveler that was a weird one because I didn't really know what travelers were to be honest I didn't at the time I had no idea didn't you know wasn't something I really knew about people traveling around and stuff and I didn't know about the prejudice or any I didn't didn't know about that well we all me and my two friends Andre and everyone we were in a in a pub and this bunch of lads blokes

come in and order drinks and they're quite rowdy and all these blokes all the people the locals were gathering together getting ready to have a fight and all of them there they started using words that is not acceptable today that I still didn't understand but basically they're travelers the gypsies whatever like so so what's what's why are you getting all huffy uh but they were getting agitated because they could see that the the travelers getting agitated because they could see probably the defense the defensiveness and a little whispering that was

going on amongst the locals and something really funny happened next it's not like laugh out laugh out loud funny but my friend not Andre with the other one he said I'll take care of this because it was a big bloke he said I'll take care of this and he walked up to the biggest one out of which I think he's probably the leader of the group and hugs him you're right Biffa why it's like he was friends with them he knew him and as soon as he did that the locals

didn't know what to do because it's like oh and he was he's like and they brought us all drinks and it was cool they weren't they weren't it's almost like they were gonna probably kick off because of the response that they were getting the reaction they were getting from the people already in the pub when all they wanted to do is just have a drink and it was funny because at the time I didn't understand I didn't understand I still really don't understand it but I didn't know about the controversy

of how travelers have been treated in the past and you know because I genuinely genuinely right in the pubs in London when I lived there late 80s all the way through the 90s what like 89 all and then most well all of the 90s to 2001 there were signs in the windows of the pubs no travelers and I thought this is rude you know it's like how can you say no travelers but the place is full of people from every country there's no more London's got more people from other countries

different countries than anywhere else in the world I don't think anywhere maybe New York's close but London is like the most multicultural place on the planet and it was then even 30 years ago and I'll be like what do you mean no travelers how are you going to know if they're traveling they might be on holiday they might live here you don't know they're traveling I didn't realize it meant travelers as in people that would take over a field and you know groups of caravans and stuff I didn't know about

that I genuinely didn't know so I was like a little bit worried because sometimes I think I went up to Nottingham and came back and I thought I want to go to the pub but I don't want them to know that I've been traveling because I had a bag with me and I thought they might not serve me because I've got my overnight bag that I had that I took to Nottingham and I was hiding it and their dad just says hey you all right Jason I said yeah thanks what's

that you're hiding under the under the table nothing nothing it's fine it's an overnight bag is it no no no it's not an overnight bag I'll show you there's nothing in there it's just newspapers and and pictures pictures of second world war that's it that's what it is second world war memorabilia and some false mustaches nothing nothing weird okay like are you being away no I haven't been away I've not been traveling anywhere I never go traveling don't I've never traveled ever ever I didn't understand what it meant like a

sign no traveling and it was written always written in like felt tip pen on a crappy piece of piece of paper couldn't be bothered to order off amazon decent okay amazon wasn't around but you know the equivalent of what amazon was back then oh Vinnie's not zonked out now he's flat on his back well no he's on his side part of his back so yeah oh another time yeah we it was bikers that's it was innocent this pub me and Andre and these bikers already in there we we we walked

into a place which was full of bikers like all the jackets the leathers and you know all that stuff and there were some big tough looking lads there and I didn't care it didn't bother me because you know I've never gone out looking for trouble I'm not it's not really what I'm about so I wasn't bothered by that I'm not intimidated by people generally and especially if there's a group and we could do there's like 30 men you pretty much all you do is run really you know it's not a

it's not a movie not action movie in an action movie I'd beat everyone up why do an action movie I probably still get beaten up it's not fair so I so we're just sitting there having a drink and at the bar there's a game it's like the leader of the pack big massive bloke with long hair um denim top but like nothing on underneath so like you can see his chest and there's all his tattoos muscles and everything and he's sitting there he's probably in his 30s I reckon me and

Andre about 24 at the time 20 yeah about 24 and he's sitting next to I'm guessing it's probably his wife or his girlfriend because he was kissing her and then he walks away to play some pool what does Andre do he walks over to the lady at the bar now he's very much aware that she was with someone you know we were basically I'm sure I wasn't checking him out but we were looking in that general direction he went over and I walk over with him because I thought he's just

going to get another drink so I walk over the bar he walks up to and says in his Irish accent you're right do you mind if I sit down and chat you up or something let's say something like that and he said she laughed and he sat down and he's making a laugh he's just talking to her and I'll be honest I was worried for our safety because that was probably one of the stupidest things you could do in that situation and the bloke was looking kept looking over and the

bloke who was with her he came back she told him she told Andre yeah it's my husband over she said oh it's like he didn't hear it what are you doing later she's married Andre anyway he comes back he goes over to further up the bar picks up a stall I think oh god he sits down and starts chatting to Andre it's like he was so lovely even chatting up the bloke's wife wasn't enough to anger him he still thought he still felt like kindness towards Andre because he was just

so loving it's everyone it was like babied people babied him looked after him looked out for him and it's weird honestly it was a strange you see um and all it ended up happy I'm not sure what happened after that I think we just drunk and left and went home and I think that was when we was living together so yeah that was strange one of the weirdest things is how he got sacked okay he got sacked from his job because for some reason a few of the people working there

decided to use a big cardboard box and to draw a picture of one of the colleagues that worked in the other room this big bloke that was always moaning and there was a glass partition between the two rooms there was there was other but they could see through this huge window what he was doing and actually put the word Alf above his name above his head so that they could see who the person was supposed to be and Andre and another bloke started chucking knives at this at this box with

the picture of the work colleague on there now Alf funny enough didn't enjoy this which I'm not surprised I think I'd have enjoyed it either to be honest complained and instantly sacked instantly like see ya bye gone and it wasn't really about the fact that he drew a picture of his colleague it was just it was near a door I mean anyone could walked in and just it was very to say it wasn't particularly safe is probably an understatement yeah it wasn't it wasn't very safe it was you could you

could argue it's the opposite to safe so that's how he got sacked and he never got another job in England after that because he he went back to Ireland because I went back to Ireland with him a couple of weeks after he left it's basically what happens is he was living with our mutual friend who was the owner of the house or he was the he was the landlord or whatever Andre's mum and sister maybe auntie I don't know they came and visited and they couldn't believe what they were seeing

because Andre had gone downhill a bit and he just wasn't taking care of himself the way he used to do and they said no you're coming back and he did so that his mum said you come back with me when we leave because they visited for a week and he just said yes ma and that's it he went back with them went back to Ireland and lived at home with them and they invited me to go I think Andre did and he convinced his mum to go and live there as

well but it took me a couple of weeks to organize it and so I went up there afterwards about two weeks later and I'm just trying to think of some weird things that he did there isn't I can't talk about all stories I think but some things involve psychedelic experiences so I can't but there was just trying to think he used to have a thing about hanging off lampposts by climbing up a lamppost you know the ones that used to go you climb up and then it'd be there'd be a

one going down going across into the road kind of those old fashioned lampposts he used to like climbing up them and then hanging from them um we both once were walking down the street and up Leydenstone Road or High Road and decided to join the Royal Marines who walked past the Royal Marine place and thought oh we'll join them and this again this was like 2004 so technically I was flappy ears technically I was let's say 2004 1994 this all happened in 1994 not 2004 I was technically in my prime

but I wasn't because I didn't have any my fitness perhaps wasn't as good as as his anyway because they got us to do some pull-ups on a bar and he could do more than me in a short time and they said they said to Andre you not you can join because you still have to apply but you can apply to join and you'll get through the physical side you know pretty easy providing you're healthy and do you know go through the thing but you will allow you to apply but they

wouldn't allow me to apply because I wasn't able to do the amount of pull-ups in the amount of time I said well I'd do it if you give me a bit more time and they said we have to close in an hour I said well how many do you need me to do again he said 10 it's okay blimey so then I said to Andre so do you want to do you want to apply then and he said no I'm not doing it without him I mean the fact is even

if we joined together or applied together and got in together we might not end up in the same place it might end up training at different places I don't know it's I mean in a way it's probably I don't know I'm not sure if it's a good or a bad thing that we didn't go it might have done him good to go to join in fact it wouldn't have been worse than what happened because he unfortunately got on the alcohol once he moved to Ireland he was started drinking um yeah

but it was just the little town he lived in he wanted to be I don't know anyway I want to keep it light so trying to think of some silly things that he did yeah it was just stuff like that I quite like to climb things I remember once he was I don't know if he was at work or somewhere and he said he had a dentist appointment I said yeah he said I'm worried I said he were you concerned about the dentist is he scared of dentists he said no

he said I might have to have a tooth out I said yeah so you know this is like it's not I had a tooth out to be fair I said that before I had that toothache that I had at the beginning of the year I've never been through that before but generally I've had to cut the teeth out and he he said yeah but you don't you don't understand so what you've got a toothache I said yeah I figured that because if you if you could have it you might have

to have a tooth out so we don't you don't get it you don't you don't not getting it I said what it's in my smile so it was in that area that he smiled and he didn't want to lose a tooth which is understandable but it's the way he said it is so funny but it's my smile and you had to be there so I'm trying to think what else oh oh I know some gross things so I won't I won't tell that one yeah that was gross and yeah he's

trying to think it's quite weird I mean you think about it really known for a huge amount of time but I did get incredibly close to him so from 92 or maybe late 91 actually possibly until 93 sorry 95 sorry 95 that was when I knew him and it's not a huge amount of time but we were really close really close so yeah it's kind of one of the it was very easy and I wasn't even kind of didn't even have to talk so much you know just I don't know

what it was we just got on really well and yeah I've not really thought about him for a while not like this I couldn't actually remember what he looked like and I haven't I haven't seen him obviously not around anymore I haven't seen him for a long time but I just remember remember what he looked like he's got kids somewhere got a couple of kids I think a couple of daughters so I kind of quite like to go to Ireland and meet them you know just to sort of because I

can tell them stuff about their dad that they don't know it's not nothing bad and just they get a different perspective because those years when he was in London the only people that are going to know anything about what he was like is going to be his sister and she might not know so much what he was up to than what we did so you know it'd be nice for someone to be able to tell her to tell his kids what he was like when he was in his early 20s

maybe they might not want to know but I'm sure they do because they were young when he passed so Andre so that's why Andre was called Andre Dooley Newland so he had both of Andre's names and my name and they used to call him no legs because he had short legs the thing is he was the same height as me so he was short but so am I they used to walk around like Popeye like like a muscle man and everyone just laughed at the way he walked because he just

it was quite muscular so he wasn't very big he's probably probably weighed more than me so he's bigger than me but not hugely he wasn't a lot in it but he was muscular and the fact that he had short legs because he didn't really because yeah same he was five or eight just like me Andre my Andre obviously had short legs had little legs so it just seemed like the right thing and I was yeah I think since I found out I think it's quite nice to name name someone after

someone that means something that's so if I had a kid for example if I had a child born if I gave birth I would very much be looking at calling that child have a meaningful name for me I know obviously it wouldn't still be in my court because it would be obviously up to my husband as well but or wife or whichever way I don't know who knows I might give men a go I mean I've not done much good with women so no no maybe not so it just to

give them that's why I understand why people call their kids they used to call their kids like maybe a parent's name if they were close to their parent or if they have a brother or sister or some something happened and I'm going to call him call him Christopher after Christopher you know what I mean do you know what I mean but I don't know tradition tradition's gone I think a little bit with names because my granddad and grandmother both their names my name was called Eileen my granddad was called Edward

their first son they called Edward and their first daughter they called Eileen now my granddad everyone called him Eddie no everyone called him Ted and everyone called my uncle Eddie so neither of them were called Edward they were called Edward on their birth certificate but neither of them and what's Josephine tell you what's weird is it's not really weird but my my my nan her middle name was Josephine okay my granddad's middle name was Joseph hey isn't that weird I mean that's kind of what you might do if you is

to you know have a transition or something and you were called Josephine to start with and say oh can I call myself Joseph you know if you want to kind of keep the name do you attach to maybe you think you've lost too much or really I don't know it was just brain farting you know I'm just I don't know so I found that interesting at the time and once I said it out loud it doesn't seem quite so interesting anyway I'll probably start thinking of more stuff that happened with

Andre I can't really think of offhand that I can discuss um there's a couple of quite memorable things but as I said it's it's a little bit yeah it's a little bit but yeah he's it was it was a good bloke I liked him I liked him a lot and I did miss him when I moved back to to London but a few things happened when I was in Ireland one which I struggled with is I kind of fell for his cousin and she was I don't know a couple of

years younger than me probably early 20s and she I thought I've gotten really well with her I thought she liked me I wasn't sure but I thought she did and and then one night I see her and she's kissing some bloke and I just I guess get jealous get upset and and something else happened and I just thought that's it I'm getting out of here I mean maybe it was the wrong thing to do or the right thing to do I don't know but the job opportunities were quite scarce I

mean there was one job in an abattoir like they said well you've worked with meat before I said yeah but that was frozen meat in a box box that I've put labels on this is a little bit different those boxes didn't move around you know it's like no I can't do that uh no no no no no I've got an idea let's end the recording talking about abattoirs yeah that'll be comforting and relaxing yeah wow so that that's really it I think I've spoken for a bit my tummy's going growl

growl growl which means I need to eat fairly soon so I'm gonna go now thank you for listening remember well thanks for all the questions as well I hope I've answered them remember to be kind to yourself I feel a bit self-conscious now saying this because you deserve to be happy be gentle with yourself lots of love bye