(no music) #1142 - Remembering Andre - Let Me Bore You To Sleep (6th June 2024)

Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name's Jason Newland. Dinny, leave the bag alone please.

You've got it all over your nose, you've got dust all over your nose. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. And he goes straight back to the bag.

No, Dinny, no. So, I'm in the middle of tidying up my flat. Been doing it for a few days now.

It's quite a big task. So there's a bag, a black bag full of rubbish. And he can't resist the temptation of sticking his nose in there to try and find bits to eat.

And I don't want him to do that because you know, I've been cleaning so there's detergent on some of that stuff. So I'm trying to keep him away from that bag. And cleaning tops and, you know, tables and stuff.

Although I just cleaned the table and I've just put it into the storage room. So that was a bit of a pointless. But there's not enough room in here.

What are you doing? What have you found on the floor now? Leave the stuff. Leave the stuff. Dinny, come here.

Don't hide behind the bag like I'm not going to know you're there. I'm watching you. Yes, I am.

Why don't you get on the settee? It's all nice and clean now. I wiped off all the stains as much as possible. I've even made it potentially suitable for more than one person to sit on there at a time.

Which has never happened since I've lived there. Well, since I've had it, rather. It was my friend's sofa.

It's a bit dilapidated, but so am I. So it's OK. It's the recliner, which is cool. So what? Yeah, I know.

So what I've done is here's my plan. Right, I've moved the desk. It's quite hard to give you a description of how I've changed the room when you probably didn't know what it was like before.

But I used to have my desk, because I've got two desks and a table and a side table, which is next to the sofa, which is where I put my coffee and tea and whatever on. I used to have the table right quite close to the bookcases. So I've got three bookcases behind me, one to the side near the window and one to back to it on the back wall side to side.

So they're all full of stuff or books, mainly. So what I've done is I've moved the table out. I'm going to move it a bit further as well.

But I've moved it out. So it's pretty much near the window. Well, yeah, it's all closer to the actual window itself.

So there's a fair bit of light coming in. I don't really need the light on. And I've moved the table table into the storage room.

So I've just done that. That was a falafel. And I'm in the process of emptying.

The other light by emptying, removing the contents of the top of the other table. So it's taken a few hours to do this, to be honest. But it's OK, it's going to all be worth it.

Because my plan, I got a little plan. I have my little Oh, by the way. Check out my YouTube channel.

I'd like to say thank you to anyone that has subscribed to my YouTube channel because I've been getting quite a few new subscriptions or new subscribers and more views than I've had for a long, long time. So thank you very much. Just go to YouTube and just put my name in.

You'll find me. There's a picture of me when I was nine. That's my picture.

But you'll just as soon as you go in there, you know it's me because of all the kind of videos that I do. There's multiple types of videos. It's not just one thing.

So I've got let me have a look. Oops. That's that wasn't what I wanted to do.

OK, here we go. So I've now got 1241 subscribers, which is gone up by I said when I set up more, it's not a lot, but still a lot more than it was. It's going up by a few a day, sometimes seven, eight a day.

So, you know, it's pretty cool. The the analytics, I've had nearly 8000 views in the last 30 days, 28 days. 4.6 thousand more than normal.

So yeah, it's it's going OK. OK, so what I've got on my playlists. So I've got the Sleepy Boring Objects.

I just thought I heard a weird noise anyway. So I've got Sleepy Boring Objects. Relax and Sleep Hypnosis Daily.

Let Me Bore You To Sleep. I've got Andre. So these different playlists I've got.

I've got really old videos. So these like really, really old ones. They're not all really old, but they are pretty old.

So there's 194 of them. I've got the ASMR Whisper Let Me Bore You To Sleep. I've got the Jason Chats Vlogs, which I'm going to change to Jason Chats Bipolar Vlog, because I'm going to be doing more of them in the future.

And that's all I've got on there. There will be more. There'll be the Relax and Sleep Sleep and Stress Relief.

Or Sleep and Stress. I don't know what it's called. So a couple of others.

And the Jason's Bedtime Storytime. Those ones. They'll be coming soon.

And I have decided I'm going to once I've uploaded all of the old stuff, which I'm nearly there now. Nearly there. Nearly, nearly.

I might find some more. Keep finding new ones or old ones. I've got 606 videos uploaded now.

In the process of uploading another 14. And then after I've done that, I think it's a case of just going through them again. Checking to see if I've missed any out.

Now, the weird thing about it is, it's not weird, but a lot of the videos I had on YouTube more recently had music on them. And I've taken everything off because YouTube didn't like the fact that I had, even though it was copyright free, didn't like that I had music on my podcasts. That sounds like a very old story that I've been dealing with over the years.

But there you go. So what I've done is I've taken or took all the ones off with music. I've got a really old one on that does have music, but I never had any problems with that one.

And that I put it back on. And that was my most popular video of all time, really. It's kind of hidden a little bit now, but it probably will get found again.

And that's the try and stay awake hypnosis challenge. So that's still on there now, but everything else with music has been taken off. And if they give me any kind of copyright thing with that one, I'll just take it off.

So I'll stick on Facebook. Yeah, I'll stick on Facebook. So that's fine.

Now, the... The plan when I finally uploaded everything is to start and I've already started actually the sleepy boring objects I have made. How many have I made? Well, I made more than I realized. So 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

Really? So how come there's 10 but there's one rain one? There's something going weird here. I'm adding things to playlists. There's adding it twice.

I don't understand why. Why is the... Why is adding it twice? Very strange. So maybe the playlists aren't a very good idea if they're going to add stuff twice.

What's the point in that? So I've done one done seven, seven sleepy boring objects recordings videos that I've done I've made so far out of the 31 that I've got to do. So there's two others on there already. So yeah, that's what I'll do.

So I'm going to do those over the next few days. And then I will continue with all the others. So I'll eventually have all of the Let Me Bore You To Sleep all of the relax asleep hypnosis daily and bedtime story time.

Yeah, kind of all the ones I've got as podcasts that are, you know, half decent audio quality. I will turn into videos. And then, and then, then, then, then, then I intend to start making videos again.

So I'll be doing podcasts and videos at the same time. So that will be I don't know how long it's going to take me to put together all these videos of the podcast I've got. And take a while, I guess.

And but for me, so you might say, well, what's the point, man? What's the point in making all these videos? You've already got them on podcast. But the thing is, some people like to listen to the podcasts on YouTube. And I've noticed that people don't say people, the people who YouTube viewers, YouTube users don't seem to like podcasts, as in just a static image, just just just my experience so far.

So, you know, I'm making videos. Once they're all done, my plan is to make all my videos with me with my funny face on them. And then just going forward.

So I don't know how long it's going to take me. It's going to take a couple of months probably before I'm ready to, to really sort of get down to making videos again. Which would be a bit of a shame to I don't know, I mean, to be, I don't know.

Yeah, I just want them to be there so that those if for example, I lost my podcast, so I couldn't afford to keep my podcast going. So I had to get rid of them. At least YouTube because it's free doesn't cost me anything to have my stuff on YouTube.

It's free for you to listen to. Unfortunately, there may be adverts, but yeah, other than that, it's I mean, I hope that you can have adverts at the beginning at the end. But if there's adverts in the middle, that's just of no use.

All right for the Jason chats, but not for anything else. Oh, well, we'll see. We will see.

Yeah, I suppose. Yeah, I don't know. But that's what I'm doing.

Also, I've got the Jason Newland Facebook, Jason Newland's boring group on Facebook. So please join if you'd like to. It's free.

Of course, it's free. It's Facebook. And also, it's private.

So you can just join. I'm not adding anyone on to my Facebook page as a as a friend because this this if you if you follow me just come on to come on to Jason Newland's boring group. Just just follow me there.

It's much easier than adding people, people adding me as a friend and stuff. It's just because it's I'm only on Facebook really for this stuff that I do online, the podcasts and the videos and all that stuff. I'm not on there for any other reason, really.

So if you'd like to follow what I do and contact me, you're welcome to. And I think if you're on there, you should you could just contact me anyway, you don't have to be on my friends list or anything. You just put a message on there.

And I think you should be able to you don't need to even be friends with someone to contact them anyway. Do you want to sort of send a message and stuff? So yeah, cool. Groovy, which brings me to say a big hello to new members.

So look, Carol, who joined 19 hours ago. Nick, who joined on Monday, and Tracy who joined on Sunday. So thank you very much for joining the last one to Vinnie away from the black bag, please.

Vinnie. Can you hear me? Vinnie? Didn't I say away from the black bag? Come over here. Oh, look, I'm doing his face right into the bag.

Come on, mate. You're not allowed in the black bag. It's almost like he was trying to distract me by pretending he was somewhere else.

So he he like tapped on the on the. Was it the leg of the of this table? And then I looked over it was the other side of the room. No.

Come on, Vinnie. I can see you there. I can see you.

He thinks if he goes around it and goes in the other side, I'm not going to notice. I can still see you there. Come here, Vinnie.

I can still see you. Now get out of it. I'm watching you.

Don't do what I'm watching him. That's just blatant. He thinks he's a game.

He's like his tail's waggling. Is your tail waggling? Eh? Um, you know what? This is really strange. It's not that strange for me, but it's not really strange considering I thought that Monday was Sunday.

I really did. I thought Monday was Sunday, but for some reason. No, Vinnie.

Get out of the black bag. Get out. Out.

Out. Sit up. Don't make me tell you again.

I. Went. Oh, yeah. Sunday.

Monday. I thought it was Sunday. Today.

All day long. I swear I thought it was Friday. Until just before I started making this recording, I looked at the laptop because I needed to find out when I get paid next.

I'm like, okay, that's two weeks. And I thought it was Friday. Genuinely, because I was going to about to do my Q&A question time thing.

Q&A Friday. So if you do have any questions, please go to Jason Newland's Boring Group and post a question. All day yesterday, I thought it was Thursday.

I'm like, genuinely, I needed to get him some dog food, but I'd run out and the pet shop closes at half five. Not on a Wednesday. It closes at seven.

But I thought it was a Thursday. So I had to go early this morning at nine o'clock to go and get him some pet food, some breakfast. It's confusing me.

I don't know. It's like I'm going wrong with my brain or something. Any more than normal.

Maybe not. Just a normal, a normal week for JJ's brain. So yeah, I genuinely thought it was Friday, but it's not.

It's Thursday. It's Thursday, the sixth of... In fact, yesterday when I did my recording, I thought it was Thursday. I said it's Thursday, the fifth of June.

I don't even know what month it is. June, but it's not. So today is Thursday, the sixth of June, two thousand and twenty four.

And I've been finding videos from years ago, and it's very strange. There's an old video, Jason Chatwin, when I'm talking about how somebody called me a fascist. And there's another one where I've got Andre and he's, he basically falls asleep in my arms throughout the whole recording.

Now, I don't know if it was a Jason Chats or if it was a Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Now, if you've never seen a Jason Chats, there's probably not a lot of difference, to be fair, between those and the Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Because they used to go on for ages sometimes as well.

But I guess I was a little bit more, I don't know if honest or open, probably. I think there needs to be a little bit of a, a little bit of separation between me talking about my real life and me talking about my weird life, if that makes sense. I think the Let Me Bore You To Sleep's good for making stuff up and just generally, you know, talking about Vinnie and I guess talking about Andre.

I'm still talking about Andre years later and probably still will be in 10 years time. But the Jason Chats Bipolar Vlog, which I'm going to call it that, is, it's me being a bit more serious, I guess. Not all the time, I can't do serious all the time.

But it's, it's an opportunity just to talk about, you know, my mood swings and all that stuff, you know, that maybe is not really ideal for the Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Now, there's probably going to be some people listening thinking, no, just be honest, be yourself. And other people are thinking, yeah, keep it light, baby, keep it light.

Keep it nice and fluffy. So it's never always, not everyone's going to agree. But I do, I do kind of want to please everybody.

Vinnie, get out. Vinnie, Vinnie, Vinnie, Vinnie, Vinnie, Vinnie, Vinnie, Vinnie, Vinnie, Vinnie, Vinnie, Vinnie, get out of the black bag and stay out. Don't look at me like, what, what, what do you mean? He's looking at me like he's surprised.

What do you mean? What do you mean keep out of the bag? What bag? I didn't see no bag. He's honestly looking at me like completely, wasn't me. Wasn't me, Dad.

I don't know who it was, but it wasn't me. Who do you think it was? And he's gone back to the bag, Vinnie, Vinnie, yeah, he keeps going back. No, no, no, no.

You are so funny. You make me laugh, but you can't keep doing that. We went to the pet shop this morning.

Okay, so it's pretty much just gone nine o'clock. He was hungry, so he had to go and get him some food. So, and I forgot to get him any treats.

I don't even have any treats for him. It's all gone. It's all gone a little bit weird lately, but it's fine.

And he, I got him some bone, you know, the bone things that he has, the rawhide bones, and I got him some food. So there's a pack of, I think, 24 of those, or was it 12 of the of the bone things. So he got treats.

He always gets treats when he goes into the pet shop. That's why we call it the sweets, the sweet shop. And the people behind the counter, all but one person gives him treats.

There's one person just doesn't. She like gives them to me to give to him. He doesn't want them from me.

He's found something else on the floor behind the sofa. He's looking at me like, look what I got. Do you want your dinner? Don't you? I think.

Is that what you want? Do I need to get you some food? Yeah, he's looking at me like, yeah. Why do you think I'm eating scraps off the carpet? It's because I'm hungry, dad. You know what, though? Because I've not been giving him lots of treats all through the day.

When we go out, he literally had like one treat. He didn't like that. I think he's more inclined to eat his dinner instead of just leaving it.

Is it really quarter past seven? Wow. So I'm going to go and get his dinner and I'll be right back. Yeah, I need to tell you about what happened in the park.

Right. I got him some food. And he's eating it.

So this whole treat thing, I think it's, you know, giving him stuff between meals. Means he doesn't eat his meals. But now he hasn't had that.

Because I'll give him a treat now. Well, I haven't got no treats to give him. But if I had it, I've got to stop saying the word treats because he can hear me.

Once he's eating his dinner, I'm fine. I don't care what he has. But when he doesn't eat his dinner because he's full of.

Sweets and chocolate, you know, not chocolate, but you know, his treats. Which are gross to me. That's when I get a little bit.

Or so, yeah, this would be him now because it's seven o'clock. He can have some more food when he gets up in the morning. I give him one of the bones so he can play with that.

And then he can do tomorrow morning. Yeah. And then I might go and see if I can get him some cheap treats from the pet shop.

But not ones that he can. Just there's these little ones that you can get and they're they're literally like they're minute because he's so little. It doesn't really he doesn't he doesn't care about the size.

The other dogs I go give to him. They just look at me like, really? You're trying to give me that I can't even. My eyesight's good and I still I can't even see it.

Like one dog was so cocky. He said, you see over there, the other side of the other side of the park. That I can see the other side about that car.

He said, there's a little fly just on a leaf. The other side of the park. I said, I have to take word for it.

He said, I can see that, but I can't see the tree in your hand. I know you're holding a tree because I can smell it, but I can't see it because it's so tiny. That's like how dogs can be.

I mean, she. Her name is Tilly or something. I tell you what a bitch.

Because she's a female dog. So is that classed as a pun? I don't know. It wasn't classed as swearing.

I know that much because you know me. I don't like to swear. I'm a good girl.

So, oh, we're in the park, in the park. Now I'm quite impressed with this to be honest. I really, really am impressed.

Now, when we leave, or the first thing he was in the pet shop, he didn't wait at the counter to be given the treats. He went round the counter. He actually went round, helped himself.

Well, he didn't help himself, but he went and saw the lady behind the counter and she gave him treats out of the jar. So he got a jar full of treats. And I think I should kind of contribute a little bit to that jar.

I might go in there one day and just like buy a packet of treats and just stick them in there just for whoever comes in because I feel like I'm taking more than I should because he's so greedy. He's pretending. He's just sniffing around, but I can see he's heading towards the black bag again.

He's looking around. I think he's, he's over there, isn't he? He's a little bit like Andre. Whenever I used to move stuff around, Andre got furious with me because he knew where everything was.

He knew the map, you know, everything, where every single thing in the flat was to start moving things around. It annoyed him. I really, really annoyed him.

He was shouting at me. Why did you put the chair over there? I said, I'm trying to make a bit more room. He said, no, the chair should be where it was.

Put it back. I said, no, put it back. No, it's, it's, I want it over here.

Put it back now. It's like, I'm 20, 30 times bigger than you. You're telling me what to do.

Put it back now. I was like, no, you put it back. So I shouldn't have said that to him.

He spent the next three days pushing the chair. Because he wouldn't give up. Would not quit.

I mean, I actually got him on video, which is amazing. I just forgot about this. I've got him on video climbing onto the table.

While I'm videoing him, because I'm standing right next to him, watching him. And he pushes the plate on the floor of the top of the table. I didn't know he was going to do that.

It's like, what? It just, he looked up at me like, what are you going to do? You know, it's a flat surface. I have to remove everything from a flat surface. And he has, he used to knock everything off.

If he could, if he could, I had to leave a big gap. So that he couldn't get onto the desk. Where the laptop was and the equipment was.

Because otherwise he would get on and he'd push it all off. And I didn't really want that. I mean, he probably wouldn't be able to push the laptop off because it's a bit heavy.

But it wouldn't stop him necessarily going for a wee wee on it. Which isn't really what I want him to do. You know, I remember when I got him his cage.

Because he had a rubbish little cage to start with. And he bent the metal back in order to escape. How on earth he did that, I don't know.

But it was a wired cage. Old, what is old, proper outside ones, you know. Made of wood, sturdy, probably 100 years old.

And he managed to escape. And that was when I only just first got him. So he stayed in there for a couple of weeks while I saved up to get him a nice cage.

And I got him a really big one. And I put him, because I knew he was going to be in the way. I don't know if I took him downstairs while I put the cage up.

Or I put him into the bedroom and closed the door. Something, probably so he slept on the bed. Closed the door, came in there and I assembled this cage.

Which took me longer than most humans would take to do it. Because, well, what are you saying, I should read instructions? No, reading instructions. It was, yeah, it was quite difficult.

But I got it at the end. And it was all sorted. Not everything was done.

I mean, they still had to do a few little bits. But it was pretty much, it was up and running. It didn't have a hammock or anything like that in there yet.

I open the door, Finny, Andre comes running out. And he's looking at it. He, angry is not the word.

He kept going. And he'd do that when he was angry. It really, that was his angry sound.

When he was really raging. And he let off the worst smell as well. Because he was looking at this thing.

He didn't know what it was. This had all the packaging, the smell of the packaging. He didn't like the smell.

He didn't like the look of it. It was a huge thing. And he hated it.

He's like. And I literally, I held him. And he let off a pong.

I had to chuck the t-shirt out. Because they're kind of like skunks. They do, they let off a smell.

Not all the time. You know, they let off the odd small, the odd small one. The odd, but this, I think it's been the most angry he'd probably ever been since I'd had him.

Like the whole time I had him, that was probably the angriest. Even more angry than when the little kid kicked him. Or even more angry when that dog bit him.

Because a dog actually, he ran at a dog. And he ended up in the dog's mouth. Which is weird.

I removed Andre from the dog's mouth. And he wasn't hurt. He was covered in saliva.

And it was wet. And I don't know. I mean, luckily the dog was on the lead.

So he didn't get a chance to run off. Because that would have been interesting. But then those two times when he got stomped on by the little kid.

And when he got ended up in the dog's mouth. The same thing. I held him.

Complete fury, fury. But that was nothing compared to when I got that cage. The cage, that was on a different level.

And the stink that he dropped. It was like a thousand stink bombs. And he kept looking at it.

He was pushing it. And he was biting at the bars. He wasn't in the cage.

He was outside. And I couldn't really figure out what it was. Now, really compared to a normal ferret's cage.

This was like a mansion. It was, compared to the other cage he had. It was like five, six times, seven times, eight times bigger.

I'm exaggerating. But it was bigger. And it had one, two, three, four different layers.

Four different levels. There was a bottom, next layer, next layer, next layer level. There was a thing at the top for him to sleep in.

Like a big like hutch thing. Brown, I don't know what to call it. But he could sleep in there.

And there was a hammock. He even had a hammock. He loved that hammock.

And on the bottom, what I did is, I put on, I put in cat litter at the bottom. So he could go to the toilet and I could just clear that up. And it worked really well.

So half the cage had cat litter at the bottom. The other half, I don't think it did. Because that's, and there was a ramp and he'd walk up the, he'd run up the ramp.

And sometimes he'd go to sleep on the first floor. Sometimes he'd go to sleep on the second floor. But then between the third floor and the second floor was the, that was where the hammock was.

So he'd just climb in there. He'd climb in from the top or from the middle. And he just, you know, I've got, I've got videos of him in there, I think.

I've got photographs as well. And he's just, he loved, he loved his cage. Once I made it nice.

He said, I said, do you like it now? He said, yeah, now you decorated, you know, you made it okay. Now I had him in the, originally I had him in the storage cupboard. Just at night in the cage.

As soon as I woke up, I opened the door, opened his cage doors, opened the door and let him come out whenever he wanted. And that was it. It was just at night time.

And he got a chest infection. I had to take him to the vet. And he, I thought, hmm, maybe it's because bearing in mind, I got him in November.

So this was during the winter. So it's probably January, February time that he had the, or maybe December, January that he had the chest infection. So I thought it's, there's no heating in there.

I know technically he's got a lot of stuff to keep himself warm. But I just like, as soon as he got that chest infection, I brought him out and I brought the cage. I put it in my bedroom to start with.

That was a bad idea because he was making so much noise at night. So what I do is I brought him into the living room. And it's different places.

It was dotted around here. And then what I'd do, I'd close the door, close the living room door so that I could get some sleep because it was so noisy at times. Because he'd be drinking.

Because you know those, he had like one of those kind of gerbil drinkers, you know, with a little ball in you just, and they, you know, the, I think the rabbits, they use them for rabbits and all kinds. So he used to have one of them with a drink out of. He did also have a little bowl of water on there as well that he could drink.

And then during the day he had a big blue, was actually a cat litter tray, which he never used, new. And I filled it with water every day and refreshed it a couple of times a day. And he used to drink out of there.

I've got a video of him doing that as well. I know it's, it's probably silly to have videos of. Vinnie, get out, get, get, he's getting stuff out of the bin now.

Sorry, this is ridiculous. I chucked that away for a reason. Right.

It just turned up with a bone out of the bag. I took my eyes off him for a second. It's like an old bone and it could be covered in all kinds of crap.

Cause it's been in that bag with all dirty stuff. So I just took it to my bedroom and I just, just empty it over my bed for now. So I'll collect it all up later.

I didn't do that. I didn't say that. Yeah, but it's in my bedroom.

I'll put it out for the rubbish when I've completed this recording. And then after a while, cause I'd let him out. As soon as I woke up, I'd let him out of the cage.

I went through a period when I used to cover the cage up. Cause then he would, he'd be less distracted by what was going on. He was a bit calmer that way.

Over time, I just didn't do any of that stuff. And eventually for the last three years, I think maybe longer, I don't, I didn't even put him in the cage at all. The doors were open.

He could go in if he wanted to, to go and like hang out in the, the, uh, hammock. I forgot the name of it now. So sometimes you like to just hang, hang out in a hammock.

The doors would be open. So he'd go in there, go to sleep in the hammock or maybe in his bed thing that he had at the top. During the day or, you know, or he'd go to sleep somewhere else or, cause he slept about 16 hours a day.

Or he'd sleep on my bed or would sleep with me when I went to bed. And he just did his own thing. I didn't, I didn't put him in the cage anymore.

After, yeah, probably after, I don't know. It's hard to remember how long. The only problem I had was when I was making recordings.

I mean, people used to say that they liked listening to him cause he'd be in the background rustling around and doing things, you know. But sometimes it just really almost like he was trying to annoy me by going from one noisy thing to the next. You know, he'd like bring carrier bags into the living room and dock them around the room and just run between them and make as much noise as he could.

And that was like his hobby, trying to disturb my recordings. But you know what, what wouldn't I give to having me doing that right now? Him and Vinnie together, I think they would make a nice little team. Cause regardless of the fact that Vinnie, his instinct is to hunt small animals.

That's what his breed is for. Jack Russells, that's why they were bred. Andre, he wouldn't have stood a chance against Andre.

Cause Andre was, he would have put Vinnie in his place straight away. He would have bossed Vinnie around. Cause he was the boss.

He bossed everyone around. I mean, Logie was a giant dog and he was scared of Andre. And I couldn't believe how many humans were scared of ferrets.

And he was a gentlest little thing. I know I just said that he'd boss the dogs around, but he bossed them around. But with humans, he didn't try and bite anyone.

Although my friend's ferret, who was Andre's uncle, he, he was a biter and he even bit me. He loved biting people, but he'd sneak up on you. It was all docile, always like really calm and relaxed and cuddly and loving.

But as soon as you weren't taking notice of him, and if you wore a short sleeved shirt, like in the summer, he would appear out of nowhere and you'd feel it. Just in the midsection of the arm, you know, where you bend your arm, not the elbow, but the inside bit. He would bite that and he would do the crocodile, do the crocodile roll.

Honestly, I've seen, I've heard people screaming and leaving his, my friend's flat over the time, over the years. Clutching their arm. El's bitten me, El's bitten me.

And it's even happened to me. And I feel like the one time I forget to wear a long sleeved top. And literally El's just there, he's all cuddling you, so gentle.

Take your eyes off him, start talking about something else. He started barking, the neighbours just come out of their place looking for the chip man. It makes it a bit worse because he actually talks to Vinnie.

It's okay Vinnie. And like that gets Vinnie barking even more because he's excited. Now he wants to go and say hello, but he can't because the door's closed.

I was going to tell you, Vinnie, we went to the pet shop or the sweet shop. I've got him these little bony things. And what I did, because he has a tendency of, once he's had some treats and he knows I've got treats in the bag, hassling me, which is not a good idea when we're on a main road.

Like biting my trousers and stuff like that. It's funny, but it's not funny really. Trying to trip me up.

So what I did is I gave him one of these bones. It's a little bone thing. It's not, it's rawhide, it's not real bone.

But anyway, so he's got it in his mouth and he's happy. He's smiling and he's just walking along, plodding along, happy. But every now and then he has to put it down because it was, I think his mouth was getting tired or he just needed a breather.

And then he'd pick up again and carry walking. We got to the other side of the park. So he's going to a toilet in the middle of the park and we cleared that up.

And then we get out of the park. So in like pretty much out of the exit. And I realized he hasn't got the bone in his mouth.

I said, where's the bone? He looked at me like, huh? So where's the bone then? And he's like, I don't know. I said, come on, go and get the bone. And we walk into the park and he leads the way all the way into the middle of the park.

Which is nowhere near the entrance or the exit. It's not a long way away, but it's right in the middle. The grass is very long.

I couldn't, I wouldn't have found it. I think it'd take all day to find it because it's like a jungle there. He found it.

I really didn't believe he was going to find it. I thought he was, so I just said, find the bone and I just followed him. He was on the lead and he just led me and he went to and he picked it up and then walked back.

Oh, wow. I'm just thinking, is he actually a lot brighter than he pretends to be? In that way, what I mean is he can understand more of what I say than he lets on. Because he pretends sometimes that he can't understand a single word.

And I'm starting to think that he really can. Oh, now he's playing with one of his toys. Now I've cleared the place out.

He can see his toys again and they're underneath the telly. He hasn't played with anything for ages. I saw he's so busy having treats that he forgets to play.

Just have something in his mouth. He likes just to be biting something. It's good to see him play.

But yeah, I was amazed that he found it. And I genuinely thought he was just going to try and lead me back to the sweet shop. Back to the pet shop, you know, just he was going to take that opportunity to just take me back.

But he didn't. He just took me exactly where he dropped the bone. Picked it up and just walked back to where we come from out of the park.

Put it down. Had a rest for a couple of seconds, then picked it up again, carried on walking. Put it down a little bit for a few seconds and carried on walking again.

And we came upstairs. So good. It was surprised me, actually.

How he knew what I was saying to him. How would he not have known? He must have known that I was saying, go and get your bone. Bring your bone over to daddy.

Silly, bring your bone over to me. Go and get your bone. Now, don't lick my finger.

Go and get the bone. Go and get your bone. Go and get your bone.

That's it. Go and get your bone. You lick it.

Oh, you were doing so well earlier today. Now he's just turned his head from side to side. I'm sure he's not thinking, what are you saying? What are you saying? He's just thinking, do I look cute like this? Or do I look cuter like this? With my head turned left or right? Which is the cutest? They're both cute, aren't they? They're both cutie, cutie, capootie.

Yes, they are. Yes, they are. Yes.

Because you're just cutie all over. You are. You're the cutest.

Yeah, you are. Yeah, you are. Okay.

So I'm trying to think what else. That's kind of all I've been doing today. I've been working on just trying to tidy up.

Sort of, you know, uploading the videos. Like I said, still doing that. It takes a while to get it done.

This is the most thorough that I've been, I think, with doing this. And once it's done, it's done. And then I can make all the new videos.

Get that done as, I don't know how long it's going to take. All the, not the old, not new videos, all the old ones. So I'm going to try and get the boring objects done.

Then I'll work on the bedtime story time. Then the relax and sleep hypnosis deeply. Then the stress, stress and pain relief ones.

And then the relax and sleep hypnosis, relax and relaxation hypnosis of stress, anxiety and panic attacks. So when they're all done, then I go for the Let Me Bore You To Sleep ones. And it's going to take quite a while because there are quite a few of the Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

Yeah, this. Yeah, there are. I mean, how many have I done? 1141 and how many have I got uploaded? Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

Let Me Bore You To Sleep. 132. So 132 Let Me Bore You To Sleep episodes uploaded to YouTube.

So I did quite a few, a few months back. So, you know, I made videos. A few of those, there's quite a few that are just me on camera talking and there's some live ones that did on Facebook over the years as well.

But it still leaves me with over 1000 videos to do. And with the, I'm just going to look on the playlist, see if it comes up. The relax and sleep hypnosis.

Oh, blimey, deep sleep, whisper hypnosis. There's quite a few of them. Wow.

Yeah. I don't have access to that, that thing because it's not in the thing's not in it made sense to me. So 200, 151.

So Jason's bedtime story time. I don't know. Oh, blimey, I'm not sure how many there are.

And there's quite a few anyway. And relax, sleep hypnosis, stress, anxiety. No, it's not coming up.

Bless it. Why would it come up? It's only Oh, no, if I spelt my name right, maybe it would. Wow.

Wow. It's because I was showing off. I was trying to, I thought you'd be able to hear me tapping away.

So I was trying to show off as if I could type really quickly, which I can. If I don't care what the result is. So there's over 200 relaxers.

No, that's relaxing sleep hypnosis daily. Okay. Okay.

So there's two, four, five, six, probably at 600, probably all together for two, four, six. So what about 600 plus, and then they Let Me Bore You To Sleep once. So, I mean, again, it might seem weird to do them.

But once they're on air, they're on air, which just opens up for a different audience. I tell you what was weird, not when a weird, but something I found quite interesting is, what happened there? The phone just went weird. Oh, okay.

If I do a custom range, right. Oh, come on. Come on.

13, nine, right. One, two, three. Um, yeah.

So Vinnie was had a good old bark then yet again, disturbing a podcast. Maybe I shouldn't mention it. So what I was looking at, there was, uh, Oh, blimey.

So there's this famous, very famous, uh, couple, one particular. Oh, uh, and I started a podcast and I was celebrating getting a million downloads in the first, in three months. And the reason it interested me was because firstly, unlike YouTube, you can find out what any channel is getting roughly like how many, um, views YouTube channels again, how many subscribers they've got, how many they've gained, how many they've lost all that stuff.

It's all available, but I didn't tell you where to get it. Actually, let me have a look if anyone's interested. So if you've got a YouTube channel that you're interested in, uh, social blade.com, social blade, as in blade, the movie.com. And all you do go there and just put in at the top of the page, enter YouTube's username.

So for me, it's my name. And it just comes up and I am D minus that's my total grade. Yeah.

And, uh, I am on social, my social, my YouTube, uh, subscriber rank I'm 17,936. So there's 17,936 people that have got more subscribers than me on YouTube. And, um, wow.

The YouTube video views, video views, I am 4,000,000, there are 4,470,127 video channels that have got more video views than me. Or ranked higher, but there's only 17, just under 18,000 YouTube channels. So I've got more subscribers than me, which I'm surprised that I actually consider how many millions of channels there are.

Um, I'm ranked 7,213 in entertainment country rank. I'm 4,485. So there's 400, 4,485 channels in the UK that are doing better than me, which I thought it'd be a lot higher than that, to be honest.

So I'll take it. I'm pleased. Hey, it's almost like I'm starting YouTube all over again.

So you can just see roughly how many, you can see how many subscribers I've got live. You can see how many total video views I've had. Um, uh, four pounds.

Okay. Yeah, just there's some weird noises coming from downstairs. But yes, it just gives you information about the podcasts about the YouTube channel.

Sorry. It also lets you know about future projections. So according to this, um, my subs prediction is, I'll reach 2000 subscribers in two years, eight months, which is quite a long way away, isn't it? 3000 in four years and 10 months.

No, it'll be a lot quicker than that. But it's just based on how it's been the last month or so. But it's the exponential future.

Yeah. So it's going to go up. It'll be, it'll be higher.

It'll be higher than that. I reckon, I reckon I'll reach 2000 before, before Christmas. Why is this drilling going on somewhere? So I'm going to keep quiet.

Well, I'm going to not keep quiet. I'm gonna go. So thank you for listening.

Remember to be kind to yourself. Oh, yeah. Here's my point.

I forgot my point. My point is this is really famous actor, comedy actor, and he's got like a podcast that he started doing. And it's a professional podcast all done properly, you know, and he's got his podcasts.

They reached a million in three months. And I thought, okay, because it's interesting that I don't know how I can compare with other podcasters, because there's no information out there. But if I look at the last three months, 85,175, 189,288, 189,288 plus 371,371,959, so 646 and a half thousand, 646,500.

And I'm a nobody. So it's like, I must be doing all right, you know. If compared to someone that's famous, and I'm getting over 600,000 the time that they've took, then they get a million.

And they took another three months to get another million. So we'd like, you know, looking at 4 million a year, I guess it's going to go up with them and they've got promotion, they got advertised and all that stuff. But it's like, wow, I was just surprised, like, not just not surprised, like, oh, is that all they've got? Because the millions, it's a nice number, isn't it?

But I just I thought that celebrities, they'd be getting like 10s of millions.

If I'm getting what I'm getting, and no one knows who I am, I'm an unknown quantity, as it were. So famous people, I just assume that they'd be getting many, many, many times the listeners that I get on the podcast, but perhaps they're not. I mean, I've looked at research into podcasting.

And, you know, sort of what is what do the top 5% of podcasters? And what do the top 5% of podcasters get in downloads, the top the top 10% of podcasters. And this is resound is podcast statistics, data and charts. So I don't know how they come across it.

The top 10% of podcasts get only 475 downloads in their first seven days. That's a top 10%. And the top 5% get 1104 downloads in the first seven days.

So in the first seven days on my Hypnosis for Sleep and Deeply podcast, after seven days, I'm at least usually, although today's a bit of a slow day, to be honest, but I did upload this stuff quite late. I normally get within seven days about over 1000 downloads for the 10 hour ones. And then I mean, last Friday's I've got two and a half thousand for the 10 hour one for the Q&A Friday.

And that's probably why some of the ones that later in the week are not getting so many because people keep going back to that one. Maybe, maybe it was a really good one. Blimey.

And the one before that was 2278. One for that 1276. The 10 hour ones, 902, 10 hour one, 844, so yeah, it's kind of roughly about 1000 after seven days, sometimes before, by the end of the day, sometimes.

So yeah. Plus, because I'm doing them every day, and I also do four different versions. So I'm getting a lot more than, you know, on a good day.

So today's been very slow, actually. Two, four, six, seven, eight, nine, so about 1000, just under 1000 plays or downloads of my podcasts that I've uploaded today on the hypnosis for sleeping deeply. Yesterday, 800, nine, okay, eight, eight, I can't add it up.

There's 831, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 1200, 1300, 13, 14, 15, 16, 1700, 18, 19, 20, 21, it's about 2000. Is that right? I didn't get that right. Did I? 4897, yeah, it's about 2000.

I had yesterday for the podcast I'd released yesterday. The day before, 987. So it's nearly 1000, five, six, 2400.

And now this is weird. Q&A Friday, last Friday, 2477 for 10 hour one, 1311. So what's that one? I have to use a calculator for this one.

It's too much. Right, 2477 plus 1311 plus, oh, go away, what are you doing there? Plus 557 plus, let's just start playing at 466. So 4811 plays of the Q&A Friday last Friday.

But then it just, the further I go back, the more I have, because I guess people are going back and listen to see the old ones or they're just trying to catch up. I'm in a Q&A Friday. When was Q&A Friday? Oh, 1131, 24th of May, four, five, six, seven, eight, yeah.

24th, yeah, 24th of May. Stop it. 24th of May, Q&A Friday, 1313 for 10 hour one, 719 for the five hour one, 744, 628.

So yeah, so I'm guessing, I think it's averaging out probably about, roughly about 1000 for the 10 hour one and maybe 2000 a day for each, like for each new ones that I do altogether, the four come to probably a couple of thousand downloads. So yeah, I mean, there's a big difference between being in top 5% and being in the top 1%. I'll tell you as far as I know, but it's really weird.

What percentage of podcasters go live? How many downloads does a podcast have? Podcast industry statistics show that an episode of 9000 downloads across multiple streaming platforms earns a place in the top 5000, 5% of podcasts. So it's changing now. So 9000, the other one was saying 1000 in seven days.

But I've got, if I look at the stats, oh no, that word, if I look at the stats all time, and I've got one podcast has got 14,197. That's the Help With Addiction. I've also got the number 1062, 10 hour version, it's Boxing Time.

That was 8609 plays. And then third, most popular one, since October anyway, is 10 hour one, 1092. Let Me Bore You To Sleep, ordering Vinnie's new lead, 3,494.

I'm going to go. So Vinnie's now searching for more food. I can't believe he's still hungry.

So please remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy. Be gentle with yourself. Lots of love.

And I'll speak to you again tomorrow. And it will be Q&A Friday tomorrow. Bye.