Read along
Complete transcript
Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name's Jason Newland. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.
Little Vinnie is at my feet under the table like normal chewing on a bone and he's got I got him this um bone thing which got like a proper bone of meat on and stuff and he ate it too quickly which caused him to be ill and then he proceeded to lick up the mess so I kind of stopped him on that one and he growled at me like come on mate you've thrown up for a reason it's not supposed to be in your tummy is it you've obviously eaten too
too quickly but also you know let's just let's read your body signals here let's let's listen to your tum tum and uh still growled get off but I did it anyway I cleaned it up because I just I'm not bothered seeing it I mean I used to I used to be very had a huge he's starting off talking about vomit how can you start off on a relaxation session talking about vomit a vomiting dog okay fair enough that's a good point I'll stop that is a weird thing to start on
I'll build up to it so um that is a strange thing to start on I got a message well today what's the day it's Wednesday I think it's Wednesday the 22nd of May 2024 and I'm still in the process of uploading my videos the old videos so now I think I've uploaded all of the Andre's videos and I think that was 48 I've made a playlist I posted the playlist on the um Jason Newland's boring group Facebook group so the link's on there if you want to join the group come
along baby and also just to remind you that the question Q&A Friday is coming up in two days so if you've got any questions please go to my Jason Newland's boring group and you can leave a message there for me if you haven't already done so and I'll attempt to answer all the questions that have been asked this week so I've posted the link to the YouTube playlist for Andre's videos I've also um it's got a message there Sarah says blessing Mrs Antic so much oh thank you um me too
it's weird it's um it's a double-edged sword looking at his videos because yeah there's nostalgia and there's like looking at him and but it's sad as well it's sad um I actually had a video of him I don't know what why did I post it on Facebook it was his last video and I was on the way to the vets with him and he looks ill and he was ill and I didn't know when I took the video that that was going to be the last time I saw him you
know I didn't know that at the time I thought it was going to be the same as the year before where he'd just um have an x-ray and it maybe get some medication or something but for some reason I posted it on Facebook which was a weird just thinking about it now is a weird thing to do very strange thing to do unless I posted it before I even went to the vets just uploaded it straight away and forgot about it I don't know I can't remember but I've got the
video I've uploaded it to YouTube which in itself sounds weird because I just said I didn't it was strange I uploaded it to Facebook but I've got it on private so only I can see that so if I ever want to watch that little video which I probably won't to be honest but I'm quite cheerful in it because I really didn't know what was coming so okay so started off dog vomiting and Andre being put down brilliant great start to a podcast this is my positive podcast but it is quite
strange to see him like that but it's funny to see how determined he is at times he won't quit never quits what he would never quit and you know the reason why I was positive you might think well if you have if you ever watched that last video of his and he is shaking he's in a blanket but just prior to me can make me making that video he was on the grass rolling around and just like playing in the grass so I figured he was okay he wasn't physically okay
but I figured he was emotionally okay that makes sense but the fact that it was kind of June May or June time there was a nice day and he was shivering that's just that's weird weird in itself so so I've uploaded those so if I'm saying so a lot if anyone wants to watch them then they're there for you I'm never going to take them down I've got them on a hard drive so I'm what I'm basically doing is uploading all my old videos I mentioned this yesterday and probably the
day before I've now got 388 all the old stuff I put it into playlists so at the moment there are one two three four five six playlists there's really old videos so there's 194 of them and that ranges from going back to 2010 I think maybe earlier and maybe 2009 even and then there's the relax asleep hypnosis daily there's only 19 on there at the moment there may be more to upload the ASM ASMR whisper Let Me Bore You To Sleep there's four videos our Andre there's 42 videos and then
I've got the Jason Chatz vlog there's 58 and then the Let Me Bore You To Sleep podcasts there are 73 so now I'm doing a deep sleep whisper hypnosis ones and I'm trying to think what other ones I've got so there's still a lot to go through for the deep sleep whisper ones I'm uploading it's taken nearly all day to upload 10 because they're quite high quite large files like two three gigabyte each so it takes quite a while to upload so it's going to take me probably a few days
to get them done but the good thing about that is that I won't be bombarding people with new videos on the you know subscribers because there'll only be a few a day instead of loads good for them no not good for me because I just want it over and done with and sorted I mean what I've basically tried to do is collect everything onto one of my hard drives and it's the oldest hard drive I've got and just transferring everything onto there all the videos and then sorting out the videos
by uh by category so like deep sleep whisper Let Me Bore You To Sleep jason chats vlogs you know like that and then in each folder of those I've got I've put them all in there then I've got um with music to upload because basically I don't upload anything with music so it's with music it goes into that category goes into that folder and it'll just be forgotten about they'll be left on air and I won't do nothing with it to upload they'll be the ones without music unsure it's just
stuff that's I don't really know what they are so I put them in there they might not have a title maybe I uploaded it for Facebook so I don't know what's on it and then there's the uploaded folder so every time I upload I do 10 at a time on YouTube when I've done that I just cut and paste those out of the uploaded file to upload file to the uploaded file that made sense to me when I started talking about it and there's not that many other other things on
there because I've got videos of Vinnie videos Vinnie didn't I video videos videos videos I suppose videos and Vinnie videos I've got a video of Vinnie destroying the sofa lasts a minute long so what I'll do I'll do a playlist for Vinnie videos so I've got a few and I think there's quite a few probably saved on the iCloud because I most of the videos I I record on my phone well all of them really and then there's a few other ones right the stop smoking I think that's uploaded I
think that's done oh it's computer's taking so long because well basically it's using all its might to upload to YouTube so there's not a lot else on there really and on the the other YouTube ones the videos YouTube videos on because I'm going between different hard drives there's the hypnosis for stress and anxiety so Jason Chats that's all gone so I can delete that one I've moved all those and uploaded them and then there's the old videos archive I've uploaded blimey there's stuff on here that I might not have uploaded
so I'm going to have to go and put it all on and see compare there's quite a few on there how many is 199 videos and then unsure and there's videos with no titles so I don't know what they are because they've got no titles so I'm pretty sure that I didn't release a video called goo goo goo goo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo s s s s or image underscore three three two two probably didn't release stuff like that so we'll come back to this that
stuff relax and sleep hypnosis daily no music all right it's empty with music unsure empty uploaded oh so I'm gonna have to look at that as well because I think I've already copied those over but I'm gonna be double sure because I don't wanna I don't wanna lose stuff you know don't lose old videos even if I don't have to and there is some videos that I'm not sure if I've uploaded as well okay cool so it's sleepy boring objects again I think I've uploaded those have I sleepy boring objects
sleepy boring objects sleep well I've got two ah isn't that interesting no but on the on here there's one two three four five six seven eight nine ten there's ten videos and I'm going to mute this just so I can play it just to see whether or not it's an actual video well it's still a video but obviously I won't be able to hear if it's got music when I okay I'll stop so there's a few there that I'm going to upload probably tomorrow or whenever I finish doing the deep
sleep whisper ones stress and pain relief no music there's two there and then it's uploaded nothing okay with music loads okay so what I'll do I have not transferred those over to the other one to the other hard drive uploaded it's an empty file so I'll get rid of that so it's it's a case of being careful because in the past I have deleted stuff by accident so I've got I've got a folder here bad quality bad quality and there's what five files I can do five files it's 9.17 gigabytes
ah okay yeah it's a short anxiety course so they're big files but at the same time there's really bad quality sound so I won't be using those um and then there's the hypnosis for stress and anxiety one that's one video but but there are wow there are a lot of videos on here that I have not counted well there are literally hundreds on here that's crazy one I don't know how many of these are usable or that I've already uploaded but there's a lot one two three four five six one
two three four five six seven eight one three four five six seven eight ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen seventeen eighteen twenty twenty-one twenty-two twenty-three twenty-four twenty-five twenty-six twenty-seven twenty-eight twenty-nine thirty thirty four thirty five thirty six thirty seven thirty eight thirty nine forty forty one forty two forty three Vinnie stop banging everything so 43 and I'll just quickly add it up in my head 43 what's that times by eight 344 videos still to go through that's about all the ones I'm already trying to put up or you know
upload uh some of these are copies of the same one and there are some just templates for animation so there's a few but that's not that many of them but the rest is oh there's some Let Me Bore You To Sleep podcasts which I don't know is that is it just a video or is that actually me talking it's me on the screen nope I wonder if it's got uh they might have sound in the background that's not good so yeah I've just got to go through them basically it's going
to take a while full body massage what's this one oh dear I remember I got I got a video um what did I call them not spiked not highlighted uh red flagged or something and because it was a body massage or something it was that kind of thing and it wasn't anything erotic or adult or anything like that it's a kid a little kid could have listened to it it would have made you know something that my nan could have listened well would have been able to listen to it's not
I don't do anything none of my hypnosisy stuff in the past have ever been like that they've all been pretty much straight down the line um I say the occasional silly thing but you know when I when I do the hypnosis stuff it's always been always been quite serious with it not serious but um I was gonna say professional but I don't think I've ever been professional in my life I've tried but you know does that make sense what I'm saying is I've not I've not gone down a road of
um trying to create certain feelings in people uh other than what I'm there to do kind of you know sort of if I mean I've had people say oh I like your voice oh they said they said they like oh I like your voice it's really you like my voice do you oh I nearly did that someone actually said they sent me a message on YouTube years ago saying you know I listen to you and I'm just waiting for you to tell me what to do next we should make a
video of just telling me what you want me to do you know what I genuinely was going to make a video and just put on like a really stupid voice hard to believe that I would even be able to lower myself to do something like that I put on a silly voice but I did consider it now I hope you're feeling very very relaxed you know something silly like that but I didn't I did not do it I had a few requests over the years you should do erotic stuff I
thought about it I did I did think about it because you know if enough people ask something then maybe it's there's a it's wrong of me to ignore it but it's just not something I'm into to be honest not something I'm really in a loving relationship maybe you know but outside of that no not really it's because I was trying to be kind of professional I suppose that is saying it sounds weird to say the word professional and then look at myself but it's kind of when it comes to the
hypnosis stuff I did I didn't just do this as a joke or as a laugh and you know I've behind me I've got quite quite a large hypnosis collection books other trainings I've spent years and years and years making the hypnosis videos and audios and there's there's thousands of them out there like not videos but there probably is about a thousand videos altogether and including the ones that are just the quality is too bad I can never re-upload them it's just awful quality to the point of being in an echoey
room on a phone that's almost like the other side of the room and so the picture's not great although there is a lot of light coming in so it's the best picture I was probably going to get the picture wasn't great but I'm so far away from the phone that is just like it would be I guess it'd be like me walking over to the bathroom door and and shouting see and you wouldn't you'd hear me but it wouldn't be very clear so yeah I don't know what my point was
on that there was some point that I was maybe there was no point there probably wasn't a point deep sleep whisper uh uploaded right so that's empty with music that's empty no music okay so I'll delete all the deep sleep whisper ones I've transferred over to the other hard drive so that's good and so quite I'm thinking more and more that I'm going to start making once all the videos are uploaded on YouTube I want to start videoing my podcast episodes and I thought about it and I thought well no
it's like oh and then I thought well if I make the recording in the evening make the video in the evening as well I can upload the video the next day you know so I can basically come in the morning when I wake up I can do the editing for the podcast do all of that stuff two hours three hours whatever it takes and then I can upload have the video uploading to my iPad while I'm doing nothing else or just upload it anyway overnight so then it's it's done for
the morning and then I can what I'll do is part of my editing of the audio if if needed I will edit edit it I will edit the original audio without any editing but just make it louder make it so the volume is a bit better because quite often the volume is quite low because I talk quite quietly when I do these and then I will then I'll do another version of it so I'll save that one which would just be unedited and the next one will be you know the
other three four different recordings I do different versions and then do that and then later in the day you know maybe morning later morning maybe even afternoon I can then set about making a video combining the video footage from the phone or from I've got I do have a camera I can figure out how to work it and then combine that with the original audio but you know louder so edited in that way way but not any other way put them together and then edit them sync them up and then
edit them edit them so that the video is that the sound quality is better than it would be otherwise I mean if I use the phone not the phone the camera pretty much I mean to be fair the cat the mobile phones they're never far away from me when I make that video anyway and the sound is usually quite good but I don't know maybe that'll make it a bit better so sync it up and then when I make the edits it'll all be together and then do what needs to
be done I do very basic editing I'm not gonna not interested in anything flashy it's just going to be me sitting here talking really no special effects what I could do is some kind of making my face look more normal because I got I got a pink face you know it'd be it'd be make me look a bit paler and maybe so and I do catch the sun especially in the winter I catch the sun all year round and see I take my glasses off as if I'm looking into a
video camera but you know the where the rim is it the rim of the glasses you know that goes over the ears there's a white patch it's like a big white line and it's not from pressure because it's not even touching that part but it's just because the sun is not caught so yeah now you can't tell me that was boring that was exciting stuff come on come on admit it you've never been so excited in all your life have you come on come on right I want to address something
um a post that I got on um Molly posted on Jason Newland's boring group isn't it really really weird I know it's boring group but I forget the rest of it it's my name Molly posted the song you wrote it's great you sound like a mix between Michael Jackson and the weekend oh god is he back well thank you thank you Molly I did say I was about 10 then wasn't quite 10 but uh what I've done and I've not posted them on Facebook because to be honest it's just for
those those people that are that come across it by accident I think um it's weird so I don't quite get the the way the stats go sometimes like yesterday on the main because I've got two podcasts I've got Let Me Bore You To Sleep and I've got these sleeping deeply hypnosis for sleeping deeply now yesterday okay uh let's say what is it Wednesday today Tuesday yesterday Monday Saturday Sunday Friday Saturday Sunday Monday okay so Saturday I've got 7,914 plays Sunday 6,884 but then Monday I get 13,671 and then it goes
down again yesterday Tuesday 21st 2024 of May 8724 but today for some reason there's still like four or five hours left uh 29,430 and I suppose all I can put that down to is and I don't know why I genuinely don't know why people are actually listening to the songs I posted when I posted for my normal podcasts that I do and the 10-hour ones got 587 plays and the other ones 349 316 272 and I usually get roughly by the end of the day about a thousand for the 10-hour
one and it just increases day after day so each each 10-hour recording pretty much as I go back in time they're all like the one I did one 1124 is one and a half thousand downloads or plays 1125 1435 plays 1126 1291 plays 1127 982 plays so that was the day before yesterday and then today 587 so just it it grows and it I'm probably because I've done other stuff after that is the other stuff's kind of taking a little bit of attention away from the podcasts so what I did
okay I discovered a million years um I did a million years ago by Adele as a cover um second of September 2020 and it's just a bit of fun and that's why I just upload it because it's done then you know I mean it's just it's done and it's just there because I'm putting all this stuff onto the hard drive where I'm not going to touch again it's just going to be all the old stuff and it's archived so I'll never I won't be visiting these again but they are on
this podcast and they're also on the Let Me Bore You To Sleep podcast and so I did the million years ago had 160 plays this was this morning and then I posted on my one two three four four my four original songs that I actually wrote between 96 and 97 one is called I miss you 1996 the second is I wrote you a song 1996 the third one is the annoying eight hour epic song 1997 and the fourth one is the Tuesday song 1997 and then I also had a song
that I've I sung in 1996 before I did any of the writing of these songs uh ticket to ride by the Beatles I also did if you don't know me by now the simply read song but I seem to have lost that one so they've all cut a few listens you know cut a hundred each the Beatles ones had 317 plays on this one and so today I made these little podcasts like recording images for each one as well so it's there for for posterity you know it's there and as
I said I'm going to archive them so they're not gone so even if the podcast goes or for whatever reason I delete everything it's still going to be it's going to still going to be on my hard drive the archived one but I don't plan on deleting anything so no I never do though to be honest and I've deleted a few things so this is this one so but that doesn't that doesn't explain what is 29 000 plays because that the songs only count for about a thousand Finney really you
have to make so much noise what is it three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen it's about twelve thirteen hundred and plays so that's all for the songs and so I don't know I don't know why there's it's gone so high today so I'll come out of that I'm not moaning because it's good but I just don't I don't understand to be honest with you I don't understand and in today the Let Me Bore You To Sleep podcast and once it had 5398 plays so that's again
that's kind of pretty good it's 30 000 for the last week and that's just to Let Me Bore You To Sleep there's no other stuff on there except today I did the same thing and I uploaded my songs now I want to say of course because the the song any song I do anything I put onto this podcast gets way less than what it gets on every podcast even the Let Me Bore You To Sleep podcast episodes I know it might sound weird but it's true so for example the recordings
have got like 14 1400 it's got like 335 on here 261 and the other one will have like 1500 you see what I mean so it's um but it's fine it's fine it just has got that has more people listening on that podcast so the annoying eight hour epic song is the one that's been listened to the most out of the songs I uploaded there's 122 plays Tuesday song 86 ticket to ride 82 92 for I miss you and I wrote you a song 84 and million years ago 58 so
yeah so what I thought I'd do is I'd let you know about the songs I tell you what happened and which brings me to a question I had on tomorrow's question is I'll ask it's just about how I remember the dates and I think what helps me to remember the dates is this doing this and there's an old thing is if you want to if you want to learn something teach it and of course I'm not teaching anything but by talking about stuff that happened in the past I'm almost revisiting
I guess those those memories and uh clearing that those those pathways I suppose maybe those neural pathways and making new ones because I can now see connections between different things that perhaps didn't seem well I guess they weren't there before because that was the past I guess it makes sense to me what I just said so what happened I was living in East London I had just yeah I was working at Butlin's and I left Butlin's got lift back and there was a weird thing happened there and that might be
something else I'll talk about tomorrow on Friday rather so I left there and I went to oh man what was it it was a bloke that was in the room next to me and we got on really well and I went home with him I think his dad no did we get the no his dad picked him up I think um Wolverhampton or something like that maybe not Wolverhampton it was somewhere anyway and I stayed at his house for the night maybe a couple of days I think just for one
night and then I made my way back to London and I went and saw my girlfriend I thought that we could perhaps live together because I just you know just as I was homeless and that's not a reason to to live with someone but you know she was I yeah I don't know I just thought maybe it was an opportunity for us to be together or at least put me up for a little while while I got myself sorted and neither of those things were on the table however there was
a really really interesting jigsaw puzzle she just finished and there was like a Disney a Disney movie I was like wow this is really intricate she said I know and I didn't the light bulb went halfway through and I didn't change the light bulb and I still managed to finish it I said that's good and we looked at each other and I was thinking you're going to ask me to move in aren't you and she didn't she said please leave take your take your shoes off the table please why are
you underpants in the toilet just always complaining but yeah um so that was weird because I spent Christmas with her did I spend Christmas no I spent Christmas at Butlins and I came back for New Year's and I spent New Year's with her with her family and and after New Year's she saw like she didn't want to I don't know it was really weird so basically I left her place looking for some we hadn't split up just you're not staying here okay so I felt a bit used to be honest
with her I just I said to her look I'm not a piece of meat I know I'm sexy as hell and come on I'm still human I mean I'm not always going to be a supermodel okay that conversation didn't happen but I did you know I thought what am I going to do so I went down to the housing department and you might be thinking can you just talk about the songs you just you were talking about the songs why are you now in the housing department well I was homeless
I needed somewhere to live so I I waited for hours and hours and hours and nothing didn't get seen um it was just and I thought I just didn't know what to do to be honest so what I did is I visited someone that I previously stayed with and in the past and but only temporarily but she offered me to stay there she she gave me a room to live in so I moved in and that's when I got a security job so I was unemployed for a little while then
I got a security job within a couple of months by April I think it was and this was January time so by April I was working full time and I because I was bored I was so bored I mean it's weird to go from being if you if you're so bored that you want to work in in um security you've got to be bored to want to sit at a desk securing an office block all night long on your own you can't be really bored to want to do that but
I did because I was bored and I was also um when I moved in there my girlfriend we split up and she moved away and I just like well I'll come with you and she said well you know if I wanted you to live with me probably would have let you live with me when I had the flat here why would I take you with me those kind of words it wasn't quite that way but it was probably a bit nicer than that actually but ah very strange and those were
the days when no one had mobile phones well some people had mobile phones but it was very it was mainly I think the only people that really in London had mobile phones was I'd say probably office or business business people working in the city and drug dealers that was pretty much it is I mean that's that's a it's a cliche but it seemed to be the case because they were very expensive to have and they weren't a plenty at that time but fast forward a year and they were two years
and like you know just it was it was a boom booming time but in 1996 beginning of the year I honestly didn't know anyone that had a mobile phone and not one person in the whole of Butlins had a mobile phone when I was working with them so it just weren't no one had them I think it was like no one wanted them either because I don't want to why would I want to be contacted when I'm outside which I still kind of get to be honest so I I I
didn't have a phone why am I telling you that I didn't have a phone oh yeah so we couldn't really keep in contact because I didn't have my own phone I was using the house phone but it wasn't my number to give out really and I couldn't I could use it the phone out but I couldn't really accept calls in because it just didn't feel right you know they just moved in and not everyone wants to be my secretary answering the phone for me and that so I was told so I was living there and
my cousin I just see my cousin and one of my cousins was living in the house as well so she heard me singing downstairs so basically what I did I did an R.
Kelly song okay it was I can't believe I believe I can fly it's something like that and but I did it on a like four different versions all to put them all together because I had a mixed a four track tape thing and she heard me singing she came down and listened to it so that's really good I said oh thanks go away she said that's a bit rude I said you're rude and she said no wait you can't do that every recording Jason you can't just oh you're rude you're
rude you need to you need to spice it up a bit use different words use different terminology because otherwise it's going to become very samey I said you're samey she said see I said yeah yeah I hurt myself then that is a bit yeah it's a bit bit sad really isn't it she said yeah and you imagine you're doing it now 96 how bored people are going to be by 2024 that's 2024 wow blimey I'll be 70 by then we both laughed wow so I thought nothing nothing else of it
she contacted she told her dad who's a musician actually a professional musician in a band and travels travels the world I think but he travels the country doing country country and western songs or country music it's not country and western is it country music and he was in one of the biggest bands in the 80s country music bands in the UK so and he's got guitars keyboards all the music equipment you know everything so he invited me around to have a jamming session to maybe do a song so I said
all right cool so if you listen to any of those songs especially okay the first song we did was ticket to ride it's him playing the guitar down down down and this is probably I don't know the summer 1996 it might have even been might have even been before that might have even been spring and then we did the uh if you don't know me by now as well which is I don't know if we did it in the same session or maybe a different session and then in 1996 I
had a security job uh looking after a nurse's home well I was part of the security in a nurses not a nursing home but a nurse's home where nurses were training part of the part of the NHS it was connected to a hospital um forget what hospital now anyway I started dating one of the nurse trainees trainee nurses and she had a phone couldn't believe it never known anyone with a phone before actually that's not true I did have some contacts that had phones um but they didn't work in the
city but she had a phone and in them days apparently if you was a student especially student nurse or even at university they would really push people to take a phone and give you a really cheap contract uh you know kind of to get you hooked really on using it because they're aiming at the young people because well it just makes sense because they're it's for me I'm so even at 26 I was so used to never having a phone that it didn't bother me not having a phone it wasn't
something I was particularly even bothered about getting and I could have got one in 96 I just didn't want one and but I think if I'd have been given a phone at 17 or 18 I probably would have well I know I would have loved it absolutely loved it just because it's new it's a gizmo isn't it and to be able to walk down the street and hardly anyone else else has got one so at that time obviously not now everyone's got them stuck to their palms now aren't they the
I right so I dated her and we split up that's a quick quick jump isn't it but that's the reason why I wrote the song I wrote the song I miss you because I wanted to well basically write it and play it to her in a romantic way to get her back and so I did it took a while to do it and I've never written a song with music before I used to write songs when I was a kid but it was the lyrics I'd used to sing them but
it was no music and you know this was very different and I think this is keyboard for this one there was a music played on a keyboard again it was it was the same person that did the guitars so I and I did that in 96 I played her the song and she just looked at me blankly and then I left and I walked out of the building and I came back in I thought nah I went back in and just laid down on the bed and we were back together
again it's very strange but so what I did it affected me the fact that she literally didn't have any interest in it in this it still annoyed me even though we were back together it annoyed me that she had no interest in the actual song because I spent hours and hours you know doing that putting it together so the I wrote the next song I went back same place and I feel all these songs I did were with keyboard not I didn't play the keyboard but I did write the lyrics
and I did write the song this time I had no words I went with the mission I had the words I just didn't know how I was going to sing it I wrote you a song I didn't know didn't know what was going to be and I basically he was just playing music until I started singing over something and that's how we got that one and that the main the main story about that is really I wrote you a song it took quite a long time I played it to you
and all you did was look out the window and sigh why did I bother why did I try why did I even take the time why did I bother why did I try to write you this song because it didn't even play on your mind that was it really it was like a one minute 51 second song the I miss you was two minutes 26 seconds so then then the next two songs again both I don't know I'm not going to the details of these ones but it was also kind
of romantically connected for these were 1997 and one of them was for a lady but the first one the annoying eight hour epic song it literally took about eight hours to write and I think it's fair to say that the other people involved were a little bit annoyed with me because I just I wanted it to be so good and I didn't have the title the annoying eight eight hour epic song already before I got there and I didn't look at that and think oh no it's going to take eight
hours no generally I didn't but it did take a long time and it lasts for five minutes 12 seconds and with this one again I just sung over some music that was being played lots of different key changes until I eventually I kind of dug into one of them and just started singing off the top of my head I didn't I had to play it back in order to write it down the original version was better than the actual song I've got the original version in on a tape somewhere but
the original version I mean they're all really bad versions as far as the static sound so they're really bad like I should try and get that cleaned up somehow there must be a way of doing that but the actual if you can if you can block out the static sound the actual he's making some weird noises under there if you can block out the static sound the actual the music and the singing the music's good the singing I don't know I think it was I liked it at the time and
then so I just sung off the top of my head how I was feeling and yeah it was again it was a romantic song all the song anything I write is probably going to be romantic to be honest back then I don't have any I don't know if I've got any romance in me now but I did I used to and that's probably because I had hormones I don't know I don't have hormones anymore everything's dried up so I I was pleased with the I mean when I listen I don't
listen to it anymore but I used to listen to the original version of that eight hour epic song the annoying eight hour epic song and it was just much more powerful my voice is more powerful there's more motion and and the thing is the reason it took so long is because I had to keep singing it and keep singing it I couldn't get what I got on the original version and I settled for a version that I wasn't particularly pleased with I was pleased with it but I just wasn't and
the music was really good and that's what they were really focusing on to be honest because the music we didn't have music with the original one because just me singing with the I miss you that came together really easily so I couldn't it's like I couldn't reproduce what I originally did oh well but it was still it's still okay and then I've got the last one which is the Tuesday song 1997 I can't remember what how that one goes it's a short it's three minutes 23 seconds and again that was
a like a love song kind of thing now if you took the static away I think that might sound fairly okay fairly but it's hard to know because they have got static on them really bad static especially at the beginning yeah so basically that's the story of the songs well that's it I was living in a different place when I did the 1997 ones and I did do a couple of songs with my cousin in around 2000 um yeah about 2000 time wait a minute what are you doing that's very
strange he looked like do you know they say if you give dogs peanut butter it gets them to like move their mouth like they're talking well he just I didn't I've not given him any peanut butter but he just came sat with me and looked at me and went he's doing it now like he's making the noise like he's eating but there's nothing in his mouth he's just like like he's talking but instead of sound like you know a voice it's you all right mate you okay yeah he's finished that
chop oh it's a grief so greedy so greedy I don't know what he's doing he's got something stuck in between your teeth I might have to check him out see if he's all right he might have some like something in his tooth you got something in your tooth you all right don't seem to be bothered by it you okay all right he's staring at me so I don't know if he wants me to do something I don't know um I really don't know I've got no idea I mean he's had
those things before so and if they are for small dogs now he's licking himself lovely let's go from one bone to the next so so that's the songs I used to I used to um I remember blimey I remember coming home no yeah no no that's a different thing wow just remembered that no I just remember coming home but it was is a different I think that was a different situation I was coming back through a place quite a long way away so I was traveling like walk on foot but
it was like early hours of the morning and this bloke came up to me and he said can you help me I said no go away he said please said no and I didn't I said what's up he said um I'm being harassed I said what he said I'm being harassed this there's a some young blokes in a car they keep coming up basically giving him hassle for his um ethnicity or whatever you want to call it and what are you doing Vinnie I never I never come across anything like
that before so I walked him home I walked well we were going the same way so I just I stayed with him and the car did pass but it didn't stop this time because I guess it didn't they they were happy to pick on just one person but when they saw me and my big muscles I doubt it but when they saw two people together they obviously I didn't they weren't quite as brave but I thought wow that's just ridiculous so this is like probably around 2000 times it's not that
long ago I said wow you want to see it's just this I just remembered it I don't know I don't even know why I've remembered it but I just remembered it yeah wow so it's strange because that whole distance between you know as far as the songs go the big like I started writing songs when I was eight years old the first one was called Mandy I think I was eight I might be an older but I was I was a kid anyway and we were we were at a caravan
site and there was a girl called Mandy and I fell in love with her I met her for like five minutes or something we played we basically played together for a while and she was leaving the next day I'd say I was eight maybe I was 11 I don't I think I was eight though I like this I like saying I was eight because it just makes me sound like I was and in some way have something had some kind of emotional intelligence at an early age the fact is I
still don't so I remember waving goodbye to her and her looking at the back of the caravan because we were in our we were we weren't in a caravan we were in a tent yeah we was in a tent but they had a caravan but she was in the back of the caravan waving and sticking her finger up like which was a little bit rude actually if you think about it but um yeah she did like weird weird gestures like so I'm not saying I was like a monkey or something
I don't know which was a bit again it's quite why did I write a song about thinking about it she was quite quite not a nice person and sticking the finger up tongue out and making monkey monkey gestures at me yeah yeah that was rude I don't know why I bothered why did anyway that's something that I've had happening a lot over the years I focused on the wrong women the wrong women I focused on the wrong females sometimes like fell for the wrong ones and the ones that fell for
me I just didn't he's making some real he's making a meal out of whatever he's eating he's he's I'll tell you why he's struggling I think he's getting fat I think he's he's eating too much he's getting fat so he can't quite reach the parts that he wants to reach if you know what I mean yeah he's struggling a little bit there well he needs to be a bit more careful with his food then doesn't he nothing I can do I mean he gets treats every time we go out and
he's never satisfied with one he begs and he begs and he begs I mean he's never hungry he can't ever be hungry not really not really hungry maybe a little bit peckish but yeah to eat his food but he can't ever be really he doesn't go long without eating oh well so I wrote that song Mandy I've talked about in the past it's basically Mandy baby listen to me Mandy baby I want you to see Mandy dear I want you to hear I don't want a single tear I love you
baby Mandy I do I just want to know if you love me too just say something I want to know just say something like hello oh Mandy I love you I think I wrote another song called Sarah again it was uh but I was about 14 at this time Sarah baby listen to me Sarah baby I want you to see no it wasn't that it was dear Sarah how do you do Finny are you okay mate oh god you've got everything out are you all right that's um that's a picture
I can't put on Facebook blimey so yeah um dear Sarah how do you do hope you're missing me the way I'm missing you do you think about me in your dreams if you do think about out what it means not always what it seems do you dream about um dreams are not dreams are not always feelings are not always shown during the day but when you go to sleep all your troubles drift away and then your feelings start to arise showing something you didn't realize Vinnie mate are you okay he's
making some really weird noises are you all right mate um he's making some very weird noises I don't understand anyway um yeah so dear Sarah how do you do hope you're missing me the way I'm missing you I won't sing it do you think about me in your dreams if you do think about out what it means dreams are not all feelings are not always shown during the day but when you go to sleep all your worries drift away and then your feelings start to arise showing something that you didn't
realize and this is a chorus I love you oh yes I do there's nothing I can do because I love you I'm so in love with you there's nothing I can do I love you something like that yeah so that was uh that was the level of my songwriting ability but you know what if I'd have pursued it it still would have been crap if I'd have pursued it who knows who knows I mean to write my own songs at such an early age I didn't even know even though I
did have musical instrument background as in I was I knew basic violin I'd had I'd had lessons for about a year doing that maybe longer and I could play the drums and the sea cadets I could play the glocking spell and I could play the triangle of course I could play the bugle and I had basic knowledge of the not the flute the recorder which everybody all kids do don't know when they're in little school well they used to I'm not sure I don't know what goes on in little schools
anymore I haven't been in one for a long long time so I tell you what it's weird though because when I used to go to see my my goddaughter I used to go into the school with my friend because that was her daughter and I couldn't believe how little everything is like the little chairs little tables like tiny and I remember trying to sit in this little chair like how did I ever sit in a chair like this and she wasn't I mean okay she wasn't I'm trying to think how
old she was probably about five so particularly small there were you know I suppose once you get to eight or nine ten you can I get maybe the chairs are the same size as for adults I'm not sure probably not actually yeah I don't know why are you asking me it's very strange though to listen back to songs I mean the next thing I need to do is find a way to get the some of my stand-up material that I've got on tape that's if they have not gone moldy in
the cupboard that'd be weird very weird especially I mean there's there's a few hours worth there might I might be able to put together a couple of minutes worth of something that's mildly amusing I don't know it's it's a weird one it's a weird one strange strange that even to think that I used to do that used to go on stage at age 20 and perform in front of sometimes hundreds of people sometimes five people you know it depends but and not do very well at all most of the time
and then sometimes do okay and then very occasionally do really really well so it went from being majority bad and then average and okay and good you know the very very small percentage good and then eventually it got to the point where is a smaller percentage was bad a larger percentage was okay and slightly more goods and then it got to the point where even the the bad ones were better than the okay well probably the bad ones were sometimes better than the good the previous good ones a few years
back because maybe I've got some laughs and then it went downhill from there or maybe I've got the last you know I've got a few laughs or whatever so the level went up but it was still the the really goods were there was a distance between each of them and I realized I suppose a few years in that a lot of it was to do with my mood you know I didn't know about moods and moods I knew about mood swings because I used to have them had them all the
way through childhood but I didn't know that it was affecting how I was performing because if I was if I wasn't in the right mood I was I wasn't professional at all so I'd go on and I would I would behave I guess out of the mood if I'm in a good mood I'd be in a good mood if I wasn't then I wouldn't I didn't put on an act to try and pretend I was feeling the way I did I wasn't feeling so if I had a good gig generally
it's because I was in a good space and I was having fun and which made me funny or probably just more pleasant to observe probably you know because I was smiling and I could see that I was I was happy or I was enjoying myself I guess I'm I'm just this is all guesswork really but it's strange I don't know just it seems like a lifetime ago I mean even now I think of this certain moments one particular one and I can't even remember where it was I think it was
on on the Docklands kind of area there was a nice place and I was in a bar and I was listening to Bob Dylan on my tape recorder with my headphones and I'd not just discovered him but kind of I mean I discovered Bob Dylan probably I knew who he was but I kind of discovered him early 90s of course I mean super famous I knew who Bob Dylan was I knew some of the songs that he did but I wasn't really didn't really you know didn't really hear them very
often and then I bought the best of the best of Bob Dylan and I fell in love with everything about him his attitude the attitude of the songs the weirdly his voice great voice some would argue he can't sing well tell that to the the millions of albums he sold the millions of people that bought his singles in the 60s and the 70s there are multiple millions of people that went to see him in concert so yeah he's a singer it's not he doesn't sound like Mariah Carey but neither does
Mariah Carey no she does I'm sure but it's you know it's a different kind of singing so unique I love loved him and yeah just the old um I remember I was on the tube I bought it in I think it was Woolworths in Stratford Centre in in this is in the early 90s and I bought it and I was traveling on the tube I was listening to it and I just remember hearing the the really big songs that he had from the 60s times they were changing and stuff like
that right yet again I was interrupted by Vinnie Manili barking and he's just been barking he's just been singing to his girlfriend downstairs in the garden he's got um they've got a few girlfriends Vinnie has there's this lady lady lives across the road uh shared garden well it's a garden they can get through and he absolutely loves her he's really got a thing for her and I told her that he's cheating he's got more than one girlfriend and she was oh I can't believe it typical man hey Vinnie he's he's
really he has women just eating out of his little paws he does I don't know if it's his eyes his looks up he just has those big brown eyes of his I don't know but he's he's very popular old Vinnie is he was on the windowsill just now in the bedroom just shouting down I love you I love you I do it's weird though he's quite rude to me but earlier on he said uh daddy I said yes Vinnie I know it's something wrong when he says daddy because you know
most of the time you're not my real dad daddy can you write me a poem a love poem please and I said what do you mean he said well you know you used to write songs the love songs and you've been talking about them and you you uploaded your songs today this morning and you've been playing them constantly getting all nostalgic and crying to yourself continuously for hours on end blubbering I said none of that happened Vinnie why are you saying it out loud he said do you know when you
was you was looking at pictures of yourself when you were younger and you were just crying and why can't I be why am I old and crumbly now why am I so so old and decrepit I said I didn't say any of that stuff either did I Vinnie he said yeah and then and then you were phoning up you just phoning up numbers you were trying to remember numbers of old girlfriends from 30 years ago and you're getting through to people that didn't even know who you were do you remember
that so that didn't happen either well anyway can you write me a poem for the for what's her name across the road okay tell me what her name is and I might think about it he said I don't know what her name is I don't care I call her girlfriend number three it's like Vinnie you can't treat people like that you know you can't just they're not just numbers they are to me I said Vinnie he said why do you keep saying Vinnie we're in the room together daddy it's just
me and you here who else would I be who else was you who would you be talking to if not me I said well you said daddy I said yeah because I was trying to butter you up because I know that you you're used to me saying calling you and you're not my real dad and just going and running off but when I say daddy I know that you like that and it it oils the wheels the wheels that that mean you do what I want you to do and you
give me treats and you take me out when I want to go out so when I'm nice you you do anything for me well to be fair I'd do anything for you anyway I'd do anything and everything yeah I suppose but still not my real dad and just ran off it's very rude you're rude see doesn't work anymore I'm gonna stop that one Molly you so I got another person added me went to add me on Facebook and is it a real person see here's my question if someone's literally just
joined Facebook you know I mean just joined Facebook recently and they look like they're in their 50s or 60s then why have they just joined Facebook I do wonder I mean there's nothing no reason why they shouldn't but you know sometimes I look through their friends list to see kind of who they've got on their friends list and I've just had so many people add me who clearly aren't people they're probably bots it's probably not even a real just a AI has created the thing so I don't know what they
can do with that but I guess a way of trying to sell stuff or I'm not sure to be honest but I will say if anyone's still awake listening if you wanna contact me on Facebook join my Jason Newlands Boring Group that's the best way because I don't add any friends on here anymore on the normal Facebook page is I don't use the normal Facebook page to really communicate with anyone generally there's a few people but not many people so if you I do still post my stuff on there but
hardly anyone comments but on the Jason Newlands Boring Group that's the place if you want to contact me and see yeah before we go let's have a quick look to see what the what the stats are on my other podcast the sleep hypnosis podcast one what's it called sleeping deeply or hypnosis is sleeping deeply so it was at 29,000 at the beginning of the recording I was still the same well it's nearly 30,000 now I was that'd be a bit that'd be weird really and if it was suddenly 35,000 but
it's 10 o'clock so still I think goes on to one o'clock or 12 o'clock so it could still hit the 30,000 35,000 40,000 even which is I find quite strange even YouTube like nearly all day I've been getting up to about four o'clock no all day today hardly anything because I've been uploading videos and I guess people were annoyed I've lost quite a few subscribers but I'm now gaining them again which is weird and so lots of weird stuff so it went down from 1188 to 1179 and today I'll put
on two extra new subscribers and then the analytics and nothing all day hardly a block one or two all day and then I got to between six or seven o'clock 454 plays of my videos and and then since then like 48 50 38 whatever so you know just those like last few hours so it's 1205 205 in the last two days it's it's weird it's strange like Monday 282 it is how low the stat the the plays are on YouTube generally like 40 30 very low just on YouTube all the
other podcasts are doing okay they're doing good Saturday 103 then Sunday 40 and then Monday 282 yesterday 356 and today so between yeah so 1206 the last two days between yesterday 356 and however many today so yeah strange and I'm looking at the content so I don't know where anyone's actually listened because I can't or watched because I can see some okay um I posted the Andre videos playlist so I guess a few people are watching the Andre videos which is nice and but there's not a lot going on to
be honest but once I have uploaded everything I'm going to start making videos but I'm probably going to have to put Vinnie into the bedroom because the barking is too much it's just gets it stopped now for some reason oops for some reason it just stopped barking but god just twisted my finger then so was it 10 10 06 p.m okay um so I'm gonna I'm gonna go in a second it's just a bit of boring I know it's supposed to be boring but this is a particularly boring video or
podcast rather I had a shave so I shaved I ordered a new razor blade for my razor thing and so I had a shave I charged it up it's not enough to really get proper close but I managed to just do it so I've got a little goatee but it's quite thin and it's quite clean shaven and my cheeks and my neck and stuff um there wasn't enough uh it wasn't sharp enough to do me do my kneecaps but also what's it all the palms me palms me uh hands but
it's you know I have to wait until I get the new razor through before I can do my palms and my hands oh dear there's a joke there somewhere I just can't be bothered to think of it but this is what's going on at the moment so that's what I'm doing I'm doing the videos I'm trying to upload them trying to get everything all sorted and I don't know why I've decided to do this really but and I know that some people are annoyed or be annoyed and they've unsubscribed and
but not a lot I'm not saying not a lot of people have been annoyed by me uploading loads of stuff but not many people have shown it by unsubscribing which I think just shows you how many people take notice of what I do on YouTube very little so I'm guessing well I figure if I just get back Vinnie if I just get back to doing like I used to do so once everything's on there all updated I won't make any more new videos of old recordings I'll just put all the
old stuff that I've already got made onto YouTube and then I will start making videos again like I used to and it'll just be new videos there won't be any old stuff because it's all going to be on there so anyone that comes along they're probably not even going to know the old stuff's on there unless they start searching they won't know what what a gold mine it is until I actually look and they won't realize how old I am until I look at how young I used to be I
mean it's these videos of me from there's a vlog here seriously old video Jason Chatz vlog from the 9th of August 2009 2009 to be fair oh yeah that's it yeah it was 2009 because I mean it's not my bookcase I'm in front of or is it if it's my bookcase then it's not 2009 no it's got an English dictionary it's definitely not me it was uh the place I was living in at the time I'm not saying I've never had a dictionary I'm just just saying that um none of
the books look like the books that I've got so 2009 so so I was 38 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 15 years 15 years ago dark hair I don't think I've got any greys don't even from the looks of it don't even have a beard don't even have a beard no I'm pretty much clean shaven I've got hair though I've not got no glasses I didn't used to wear glasses at that time I wore them for reading but I didn't
start wearing glasses to wow I've just seen some of them an old video Andre 190 views one of the videos I uploaded blimey okay I didn't expect to get get many views and that might have just been me just playing over and over again it's very strange to see me it's not strange to see me because I've myself before but I do look younger I mean I was younger I'm supposed to if you look at yourself now and 15 years before or 15 years ago you're kind of supposed to look
different it's normal isn't it I'm not supposed to look the same as what I did when I was 37 or 38 and if I did well I could go back I'll probably go back further I mean my peak was probably when I was 29 28 29 that's probably when I was at my grooviest wow it's a little while ago now really strange seeing myself like this especially when there's no sound but I was also a fair bit lighter back then as well um probably a couple of stone lighter anyway Vinnie is starting to bark so
I might have to edit that out so thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself remember to be gentle with yourself lots of love and I'll be back again tomorrow bye
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.