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(no music) #1121 - Anti Barking thing - Let Me Bore You To Sleep (14th May 2024)

Recorded 14 May 2024 · 1 hr 43 min

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Hello and welcome to let me squeaky chair you to sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. My name is Jason Newland and I will be your host for this episode of quite a boring recording.

Today is, I don't know what day it is. It's a day, it's in May. I haven't got my thingy open so I can't see.

14th I think. What I might do is I'll look at my my Kindle and I'm have a look through a very important magazine for men. You might not realise this and I don't mean to be sexist saying that this magazine is for men and not for women.

Women obviously can read this as well, but it's a very much a go to for men. And again, I apologise. It's not me that says this.

It's the magazine itself. It says predominantly this is Britain's biggest selling men's lifestyle magazine. Okay, so don't don't don't blame me.

So welcome to Good Housekeeping. June 2024 goodhousekeeping.com.uk. Okay, so I thought let's have a little read through this because I don't know I feel I want to get back to the to some of the stuff I used to do in the old days in the old days in the good old days of this podcast. Did I say only listen when you can safely close your eyes? I said it twice if I have.

Only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Only listen when you can safely close your eyes. So just a reminder that this Friday is again Q&A Friday just for you.

So this is an opportunity for listeners of this podcast to ask me anything. It's I mean, it's open for anyone to ask me a question. But it's basically there's no point in the answer ask.

Yeah, people that don't listen to the podcast aren't going to be asking me questions that I that would be a bit weird, weird, weird. So it's Tuesday. And I strange a strange turn earlier.

I have acid reflux, which doesn't affect me too often. But I took Vinnie out for took him out. Even the word out is is enough.

I don't know why I need to stop saying that when he's around. So you went I got some stuff to tell you about Vinnie. So we went and it was raining.

So we went outside and I had to go back, come back and get my umbrella. Ella, Ella, Ella. And it wasn't raining like a huge amount.

In in in Britain, we use the term when England we use the term spitting. I got a lot of gas today. And I Oh, you know, no, this is this is not good gas.

It's not farting. I'm not farting. That's good gas.

This is this is who this is the old indigestion heartburn thing is is being a bit unpleasant. Anyway, we go out and it's spitting, spitting a little bit. The idea is like, when I'm a kid, when I was a kid, and it's not that long ago, I don't care what you say.

It wasn't that long ago. Not in the great scheme of the world. You know, not if you go through the billions or whatever years the planets supposed to be there.

My time on the planet isn't a long time. It's just but a brief moment. So a few days ago, when I was a very small child, I learned the term spitting.

I was probably about seven. Most of the stuff I learned for the first time when I was around seven. That was the first kind of stability I had as a kid.

So I started to learn phrases and stuff like that. And I was living in a little town where those kinds of things stay. There's a lot of that's one of the things about small towns I noticed is there's certain traditions that keep and I don't know how to explain this.

But you know, a lot of the old sayings, old superstitions, all that stuff seems to keep. I don't know if it's like that now. I'm generalizing.

And also I've not lived in a small town since I was 19 or 20. And you could say, yeah, you know, you live in a small village. Yeah, but it's a little bit different.

It's a small village in a very, very inner city. It's a different thing, you know, it's a different situation. And this is different.

As opposed to living somewhere where you can, I live somewhere where I could, you could get, walk out of the house, any part of the town and walk to another house in any other part of the town. You could walk it, it might take a little while, it might take 45 minutes or something, but or an hour even if it's a really long distance, but you could walk it.

Provided you know, when I can't walk and I can't walk out of distance, I'm not saying that everybody in the world could walk it.

But you know, I'm just saying as a standard distance guide, you know, from time wise, because in a car it's minutes. But technically walking it's minutes, it's an accumulation of minutes, isn't it? An hour. Anyway, let's not get pedantic.

Because I'm outside and it's spinning. And when I was a little kid, I used to think, oh, because we used to, I was told that the weather was created by God. And God was spitting on us, which was just seemed, just didn't really ring true, if I'm honest.

He's spitting on us now, but at Christmas we get presents. And Easter we get chocolate eggs. But at the moment he's spit on us.

So, and I was good today. I mean, what would he have done if, if I'd been naughty? You know, what? So it was kind of that, it's sort of, he's spitting on me now. What would he have done if I'd stolen two bikes, instead of just one? So that, that was my thinking when I was, when I was little.

But anyway, it was, we went out, we went downstairs and had to come all the way upstairs again. And I have to keep reminding myself to hold on to the banisters, you know, the railings of the steps, because in my mind, I'm still 46, still like 47, 48, not 53. I just keep forgetting.

Still this youngster that was like hopping around and bouncing and, you know, and I'm not quite that anymore. I'm a little bit, I have to be a little bit cautious. And I think what happened is, do you know, I think, I believe we can, or me anyway, I'll just talk from my own perspective.

I've aged in certain aspects of my life due to situations that have occurred. For example, when I fell down the stairs and fractured my back, slipped down the stairs, fractured my back in two places back in, it was literally a week after I got Finney. So it's a year, year and five months ago.

It's December 2022. Yeah. And that aged me.

It kind of added age onto me, not in any other aspect. But really, when it comes to the stairs, I turned into an elderly man, just when it came to the stairs, nothing else. You know, I'm walking, I'm getting ready.

I'm thinking, yeah, I'm strong. I can do anything. And I can, I can, you know, I'm still, you know, feel fit and healthy and everything.

But then when I get to the stairs, like, wait, I mean, literally, I could be in the middle of a, of a conflict. There can be someone downstairs shouting, come on, come on. And I could go to the top and say, yeah, all right.

Yeah, you want some, you want some? He says, yeah, come on. Then I'm like, okay, wait a minute. I just gotta get down the stairs.

One, okay, just, and I'll be like five minutes getting down the stairs. And by then everything would have calmed down. So that aged me with my walking up and down stairs.

And it's not just those stairs, any stairs. I'm now a little bit cautionary. So I'm more cautious.

It's just why am I saying the same thing twice, but differently? I'm a bit more careful. Three times. It was that, I've had that feeling so many times of missing, like going to grab and then missing it and then ending up with a, a breakage.

So yeah, other things aged me. I think, without getting all serious, but you know, Syria, a recent bereavement, that, that aged me when it came to starting to think about not starting, but thinking about my age and maybe my health and that kind of stuff. It's not that I never think about that because I do, but it magnified it.

You know, someone five years younger than me has gone. And I'm like, Oh, because without being rude and I don't generally do not mean this in a rude way. I don't care about old people.

No, I'm joking. Not be it, but if someone, okay, let's go to the extreme. If someone 110 years old passes away and I don't know the person, if I know the person, then it's obviously I'm going to be devastated because it's someone that perhaps I care about deeply.

If I don't know the person, I don't think, Oh, it's like, depending on what happened, the situation, but like, well, that's the natural way of things and everything like that. But if I hear about a young person, a younger person, I think, Oh, just, and it's become more prevalent as I've got older because when I was younger, most of the people passing away were older than me.

And I realized I didn't notice, or didn't notice, wasn't really aware of how things must be for people that are older, how difficult it must be because no one ever really mentioned it.

My nan mentioned it. She told me what, you know, as she got older, family members and all her friends passed away. She was practically on her own apart from the immediate family that lived close by.

And, and I, I thought about it and I thought, well, yeah, but you're, you're 300 years old and you fart dust. I shouldn't say this stuff. I quite like my nan.

Anyway, she's, it's like, yeah, she did open my eyes a little bit sometimes because she was saying stuff. She had both her, both her brother and her sister passed away in the same week when, this is when I was at university. So I was about 2009.

So my nan would have been what, 89 or something at the time. And they were both, one was, one, one was about 93 and the other one was about 91 or something. One was, yeah, so they, one was 92, one was 91, 90, I don't know, they're both older than her.

And she said that when they passed away, people were saying to her, generally younger people, were saying to her, oh, well, they had a good innings, didn't they? They had a good life, got a good innings, got a good, got a good few years. And she just kept quiet and didn't say anything until I got there. And then she told me, did I not realise how disrespectful that is to say to someone that, oh, they had a good life because they lived to be 95, almost like it shouldn't bother me.

Now, I've got too many windows open, because earlier on, I got really flustered with my acid reflux thing. I was like having a heartburn and like, oh, I hope it is just heartburn and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And sort of sent me into a kind of a panicky thing.

But so I had no windows to let all the air in and make it as cold as possible, you know, because I felt like I was overheating a bit. And I left the windows open, but now he can hear the old dog in the garden, or the new dog in the garden, and he's reacting. But I have my new gadget here, which lets off a frequency, which to be fair, I'm not sure if it's going to, if it's going to be heard by the microphone.

And it lets off like a frequency which should stop him barking, doesn't like it doesn't hurt him. It's just, it's uncomfortable or whatever. Yeah.

So it's I've been using it all day. I'm not just been constantly using it. I use it sparingly.

I don't, you know, I'm okay with him to have a little bark as a little little talk and whatever. But it's when he's screaming really, really, really loudly, then I kind of got to do it. I mean, it only came through today.

But last night, I was using the the app on my phone, which is kind of the same thing. And that works. I forgot it works.

I used to use it before I just stopped. And one of the good things about this, this actual is because I still don't know how to use it. I just press some random buttons.

But when he sees it, he knows. And he gets to not like it. So just by getting it out and just it's just by seeing it, it will stop him from barking.

And so it's a training tool, basically. Because ultimately, it's like, oh, dogs have to bark, bark, bark, bark. Yeah, but I could lose him.

You know, I could if complaints came in, then I could lose him. I could so I don't want to do that. Not for if it means if stopping him from barking means that he gets to live here and be happy.

And let's face it, he's all I've got. So it's a case of adjusting making adjustments. He's he's been really good though.

Since yesterday, I think part of the reason because I was I went out for two and a half hours and to go to the doctors and when I got back, he was all like pleased to see me for a very short period of time. Then he got bored and they started spending time with me. He's like cuddling up to me on the sea.

And when it was time for bed, he actually cuddled up to me in bed, which he doesn't normally do. Not when I'm awake. He does it when I'm asleep.

He doesn't do it when I'm awake. And usually if I'm got my my if I'm facing towards the back, facing towards the back, facing towards the wall, he covers up to the back to my back. He does he does that sometimes when I've literally just turned over so he knows I'm still awake.

But I wake up facing away from the wall and he's cuddled up to me. But he won't do it when I'm actually awake. Sometimes he's sleeping on my arm and he's just, you know, things like that.

But last night I turned my back while I faced the wall and he climbed on my legs and over me and he actually he went to sleep on me and his head was rested on my hips and it felt uncomfortable because I only I toss and turn a little bit. I turn a couple of times before I actually fall asleep. Not I'm not tossing and turning.

It's just just about physically getting comfortable. And because I had him and he was resting, I thought I was right. Are you cold? He doesn't like the fact that there's another dog in this building.

I don't think because this is his building is his territory and now he's got a dog. 110 times bigger than him. And he I don't think he I don't know.

I can't read his mind. But he wants to be in charge. I know that much.

I can definitely tell that he wants to be the boss. Because he's well, I think he's attitude is well, I'm on the boss in this in this flat. Why can't I be the boss in the whole building? So he doesn't realize that I'm the boss.

And I mentioned that to him. But it's the best way to make him laugh, actually. Bless him.

And my nan said, people don't realize that, you know, I've known Vinnie, just every time I talk about my nan, you start barking. You can't be jealous. There's literally a handful of people in my life that I've been close to.

And you're one of them. Okay. So there can be other people on the two Andres and my nan.

Danny Newland. See, there can be other people, Popeye and my goldfish. So just calm yourself down.

Yeah, so my nan just I said, like she said, people just they're inconsiderate, a bit rude, sometimes thinking, well, it's okay to say that to someone who's just lost both their brother and sister. Oh, they had a good innings. No.

Yeah, they were old. But the longer they're with you, it can hurt more because you've known them for longer. And this is coming from someone that had lost.

She has like 12 siblings. And these was the last two to go. A big old family.

And she'd lost lots of brothers and sisters in the war and during different times, time periods, because she was born about 1743. And it's like, oh, okay, I hadn't thought about that. Which is lucky she said it because I was just about to say to her, well, I had a good innings, didn't I had a good innings? Because we're all into cricket here.

I don't even know what innings is. Is it what is that when you run around? I know. Nice.

That's, that's rounders. You know, baseball is based on a little kids game that we have here. Did you know that? Baseball in America is a huge sport.

What used to be I don't know if it still is. And it's based on a little child's game that little children play in the UK called rounders. And that's what it is.

But what kids do is they would put like a jumper on different places. So you have to run around the jumper. And if the person catches it, you got to stop as long as you stop it.

If you got wicked, if you got like a stick or a score, they put sticks up into the ground. But if you're playing just with kids in a park, then you put jumpers or coats around. And you have to stop as long as you stop at one of the jumpers.

And the person can't catch you. So basically, they, they catch the ball, and then they have to chuck the ball at the at the thing. I mean, I think generally, if it's a thing, I used to have sticks need to have to chuck the ball at the corner bit and hit in order to get the other person out.

And it would be used with a softball. Like, if that sometimes they start calling it softball. So baseball softball, but it's rounders, basically.

And it's amazing that something that was a little children's game for little kids, I used to love it was turned into. And I'm pretty sure in America, the revenue from that is over over a million pound a year. I reckon the revenue from baseball, very popular.

Another sport, I never really understood this. And I cricket, I'm just gonna say cricket, cricket. There's so many terms in this in the UK in the English language, where we refer to cricket.

One being, that's just not cricket, which is a way of saying as that's unfair. You're not playing by the rules. And cricket was kind of like a gentleman's game.

And it was a way of playing sport without being sporty. Now, I'm not saying that the professional cricket players are not fit and healthy, which I'm sure they are. But it was a sport that people could play regardless of their physical prowess.

And I ever only ever went to a cricket match once and my uncle was playing. And I must admit, I loved it. It was so relaxing.

Really nice, really nice afternoon. It's a lovely day. And I was I had no interest in the cricket.

But I was I think there was a buffet and I was eating sausage rolls and drinking lemonade. And it was lovely, really like, you know, I was about 36. So it was I was much younger back then.

It was really, it was a lot of fun. But not the cricket bit, the cricket bit like, why? Bowls, not not the green bowl, even green bowls, bowling and bowls, two things. Bowling and bowling because there's two different isn't there? There's, there's the bowling where you've got things all sticking up.

And you go indoors and you chuck this thing down the alley and this big ball of a hole in it and it knocks. It is cold in there. I should I should close that window, shouldn't I? Sorry, darling.

Not gonna though. I will do but I just can't bother to get up. The I've done 10 pin bowling.

Once I played it. And the reason I didn't like it because I wasn't very good. Now.

I don't know. I thought it'd be easy. I this is the arrogance, arrogance of youth.

I mean, I was I was young and then I was like 36 I think. So I was a young man. And I just thought I remember when I was 36, walking around like I was a big shot and he's pushing, pushing other kids, just, you know, tripping up tripping up pensioners, things like that.

Just I've never did any of that. I don't know why I'm saying that. I never did any of that stuff.

Stealing milk off of people's doorsteps. No, I didn't do that either. But I was, I just thought it'd be easy.

Like, how can it? How can it be that complicated? And I'll tell you why I thought that is because I used to see on TV shows, people playing 10 pin bowling and looking very unfit, like they weren't fit, like huge, like they were 10 pin balls themselves kind of. And I'm like, okay, well, if they can do it, then and the general public can do it. And it's like, well, I should be able to do it.

I was rubbish. I was absolutely rubbish. And the more rubbish I became, what became the more rubbish I was, the more rubbish I became.

And the few I was furious, did not enjoy it. It was the first time I'd ever played. And I went with a couple of friends.

They're married. They were and we just I don't know why we why we went there. But I suppose they were trying to get me to go out.

And so I've never, I haven't really had much of a social life since 2001, really. But we went out and I didn't like it, because it was no good. Now, it wasn't that I was no good.

I was really, really bad. Like, really, in fact, as far as I know, the bowling alley that I went to, everyone's still there laughing. You know, 20 years later, they're still there, or 18 years, they're still there laughing.

They can't move on with their lives. I mean, it's not fair on them really. It was that bad.

It's one of those situations where you just have to move on with your life. Literally, you have to move town, get a different job, change your name. It was it was embarrassing and embarrassing.

But it looks so easy. What I used to enjoy playing when I was a kid, we used to play bowls where you'd have different, yeah, you'd have basically two types of bowls, balls, big balls, and they're not big, but they're a kid size. They weren't like, they were just, yeah, bigger than there was a little ball, like wooden one, that you'd chuck.

And the idea is you play against someone, it might be three people, two people, four people even. And you'll have four balls each, maybe two balls each, three balls, I don't know. And whoever got closest to the ball, to the wooden ball, would be the winner.

And the idea is you'd knock away other people's balls, so that you'd become, you'd be closer. But that was fun, because it's a skillful game, but at the same time, it's, I don't know, it just is, it can only really be played in the summer, outside, I mean, indoors, I guess, if we played anywhere. I mean, is it the same kind of thing as the bowling in the Olympics, you know, without that person rubbing the ice in front of the ball, which doesn't make sense to me, like, that's cheating.

I mean, it's like having someone blowing on it as well from behind, I mean, it's just, come on. So yeah, that's all right. But I do wonder about AI, because, you know, robotics are now a thing.

It's coming fast and thick and gooey, the old AI, it's very much, even ChatGPT launched or released a new version today. And it's that ChatGPT4 Turbo, now they've got ChatGPT 4.0, or 4.0, which is weird, because it's been, well, it's been talked about that ChatGPT5 was going to be launched sometime this year. So I don't know.

However, it is better. And I've been with ChatGPT for pretty much when they first started, when I when I first heard about it, but when it was the first, yeah, when they when they first launched it, I kind of joined, because it fascinated me. And I'll show you what I mean.

Oops. I tested something out, which was open this up. ChatGPT, there we go.

I thought, well, I've asked it questions before. And I asked a question. And basically, it was, tell me about Jason Newland.

Okay, and I've done that before. And usually, Jason Newland is a hypnotist, makes podcasts, lives in the UK. And maybe mentioned one of the podcasts, and that's it.

You know, it's a very basic description, because you're not famous or anything. It's not like I haven't got a Wikipedia page or anything. I tested it again on the ChatGPT 4.0. Tell me about Jason Newland.

And this is what comes up. Jason Newland is a 53 year old individual from Colchester, born in Enfield, London. He has a background in counseling studies with a BA honours degree obtained in 2010.

Jason has three brothers, Robert, Darren and Philip. He is currently unemployed and lives with a Jack Russell named Vinnie. Jason has a history of mental health challenges, including bipolar affective disorder and emotionally unstable personality disorder.

In addition to his academic achievements, Jason is a practicing Buddhist, although he hasn't actively practiced for a few years. He has a unique and admirable commitment to helping others relax and find peace through his hypnosis and boring podcasts, which he has been creating since 2006. These podcasts are designed to help people relax and fall asleep, reflecting his serene and reflective nature.

Jason has experienced significant personal loss, including his close friend Luke, who passed away in November 2023, as well as his nan and a ferret named Andre, who he once had. Despite these challenges, he continues to focus on mental wellbeing and mindfulness, promoting relaxation and a peaceful state of mind through his work. Let Me Bore You To Sleep is a podcast designed to help listeners relax and fall asleep.

Created by Jason Newland, the podcast features a soothing and calm narrative style, often discussing mundane topics in a slow and gentle manner to lull listeners into a state of relaxation. The content is crafted to be intentionally unexciting, allowing the mind to drift and disengage from the stresses of the day. The episodes typically include long rambling monologues on various subjects, delivered in a calm and monotonous tone.

This approach helps to create a comforting and safe auditory environment conducive to sleep. The podcast is aimed at people who struggle with insomnia, anxiety, or simply need a peaceful background to help them unwind and fall asleep. As a podcast that emphasises relaxation and mental wellbeing, Let Me Bore You To Sleep aligns well with mindfulness practices and can be a valuable tool for people who struggle with insomnia, anxiety, or simply need a peaceful background to try and keep things light.

Let Me Bore You To Sleep aligns well with mindfulness practices and can be a valuable tool for people who struggle with insomnia, anxiety, or simply need a peaceful background to try and keep things light. Mr Newland, a pivotal figure in your life, undoubtedly left a lasting impression on you and your family. His legacy is woven through the stories and experiences shared within your family.

If you could share some specific details. enjoys a notable level of popularity amongst listeners seeking relaxation The podcast leverages Jason, Suvin, and Montander. The podcast is available on multiple platforms including Apple Podcasts, TuneIn, Amazon Music, and Spotify.

It features a diverse range of episodes, each designed to help listeners unwind. Since its inception in 2018 it has grown in popularity and now includes a substantial library of episodes that cater to a wide audience seeking mental wellbeing and improved sleep quality.

What if it is put my name in there Let Me Bore You To Sleep yeah yeah it's gotta be hopefully it won't play i'm just gonna play all right so if i just put in okay got it it is on here they've not updated it 1119 is the latest so that was yesterday or the day before but we're still good so and yeah so it is on there Let Me Bore You To Sleep me i don't know why i'm going into all this um right i'm supposed to be telling me

about the good housekeeping let's go back to that oh yeah so i took phinny we got into the rain it's spitting go back get my body we go out anyway okay and we just go to the park i'm trying to keep on the pathway because it's raining oh yeah as we went to the park there's a lady with a pram so i get onto the grass and i wait for her to come around and she walks past doesn't say thank you i don't know maybe she thinks i deserve i i

belong on the grass i don't know maybe like yeah you should get out of my way well kind of yeah i agree i should but a little bit of courtesy i know people that wouldn't get out of the way most people would but some people wouldn't so it's like okay but it's like and i said hello she let me oh hello okay wow so that's one of those moments as i take him up to the path back again and a friend of his uh a little dog came into the park

and they ran around for a bit he's got he got a few friends archie his his i mean they're practically they're practically in a relationship him and archie they love each other so much and but this one's also they really enjoy each other's company they're around the same size the other one's a little bit bigger than vinnie but there's not a lot in it they can wrestle and they really love spending time together and so he was playing around the other dog went out of the park probably we couldn't see

how far probably not in fact he might not have gone out of the park just went to some bushes near the exit vinnie didn't follow the first time the second time he seemed to follow and that's when i got concerned because the second he leaves the park is the second that he will never be off that lead again because i don't trust him near a road at all for good reason you know every day he's on the lead okay i'm exaggerating but very often when we're on the lead we're we're

on the lead he's on the lead i'm not he tries to pull into the road and sometimes when i've got on it it's got a bit of slack and someone distracts me he runs in the road for example if there's someone across the road that he wants to go and say hello to and it's raining a little bit but he decides to do a poo poo right in the bushes right like whenever he goes to the toilet for some reason it's it's almost as if he's purposefully making it more difficult

for me you know doing stinging nettles or you know behind a barbed wire fence or something like that just like come on man underneath a parachute that's been there for a hundred years and it's stuck to the ground that's not a true story but i'm just saying as an example in between a row of cactuses just come on you know in the middle of rattlesnakes okay that's not true but just you know it's like it's just make it complicated for me i don't know why and because i'm there and there

was a lady with her dog as well and i'm bending over to pick this thing up she's like looking in she's looking up so what's what's going on and i said and i stand up and said what she said well all the light went all the light from the sky went and that's it's gone now the sun was just blocked out for a minute and now it's back and i realized it was my big bum that did it but i didn't say anything she didn't say anything so we just carried

on like normal and it's even worse when i misjudged the distance so the other day there was someone we're both standing on the pavement the pavement yeah the pathway because the grass was wet but then he decided to do a poo on the grass as he does so i i misjudged the distance i thought was a little bit further away from her than i than i was the person that was with me because she had a dog as well so i bend over i knock her over my bum knocks her

off off the path she goes flying it's like i'm so sorry she said how did you do that i said i don't know she said i've never seen a bum as big as that before i said come on come on now let's just let's keep it civil she said but you knocked me over i said i didn't mean to beside it wasn't me was it it was that huge thing over behind me is and she said that no no it's not on i can't believe it said let's just let's put

it behind us it's easy for you to say because yours is behind you like why why did you have to go there that's just rude she said you're rude and uh yeah hasn't spoken to me since i guess that's another birthday card i won't be getting this year i'm running out of family members ridiculous so we get back i think oh i know what i'm going to do because i've had a delivery just before i went out so i had some breakfast cereal had some in fact i didn't get everything

i ordered because pretty sure i ordered two boxes of ready brick and i only got one box of ready brick now i haven't checked the email which i need to see if they mentioned it because otherwise they made a mistake now i'm fine we all make mistakes but it's being delivered so let's have a look at the order delivery order details okay this is amazon order details 23 items in this order i ordered i can't believe it's not butter one pound 25 quantity one andrex classic clean wash let's moist toilet

tissue five pound 35 i thought it was four pounds something five pound 35 blimey ready bricks smooth porridge oats 750 grams quantity one uh i'm pretty sure i put down two i'm pretty pretty sure three pounds 70 morrisons malted milk biscuits 75 pence cabris flake chocolate bars packet of four two pound lions rich tea biscuits 79 pence that's the only little snack things i've got you know a couple of packets of biscuits and uh a packet of chocolate flakes bars i don't eat much so in a way chocolate anymore i

just remembered i think i've been talking about i don't eat chocolate anymore now just admitted that i do oh come on we all need lies in our life i've got kirstie's vegetable lasagna six pound 40 for two bisto shepherd's pie two quantity three pound 58 each no what wait a minute i'm confused now see this is a this oh i think it was two for six pound right um it's three pound 58 each for the for the shepherd's pie but it wasn't six pound 40 for each lasagna because that'd be

ridiculous i'm gonna have to reach up that i would never pie by a small lasagna for six pound 40 that is beyond beyond but then it's got two five pound 98 is bite size so that must be for two 598 i'm really getting confused now the full amount okay and then i've got bisto cottage pie 358 quantity two morrison's white super low toasty 99 pence border dark chocolate ginger one pound 25 i can't believe chocolate i didn't order them chocolate i don't know i don't like chocolate buxton still natural mineral

water eight times by 500 milliliters four pound i think that's four pound each craven dale no it's four pound altogether that's not bad is it two pound for eight craven dale filtered fresh semi-skimmed semi um five that's eight pound 75 and then you've got the family bananas five pound each five each for 99 pence they've also chucked another chocolate thingy and i can't believe it i'm ever so angry Cadbury's twin pot dairy milk buttons chocolate dessert one pound 25 well i guess i'm just gonna have to eat it now won't

i wow i really i'm just gonna complain it's a kind of 52 pound 61 delivery charge it was 50 pound 61 delivery charge two pound and they charge extra anyway they charge extra the price on here is way more than you'd pay if you was in the shop that i'm pretty certain of so i'm supposed to i forget it was great so i'll put over it was great 10 continue okay good items packed with care okay fair enough right continue shopping i don't want to continue shopping go away so that

should keep me going for the rest of the week until yeah to the weekend now boxing's on the weekend it's titan fury against ucic alexander ucic there's also five other big fights on as well um is there no there's not that's different that's a different there is but it's not the that's a different bill that's in june 1st of june so this one there's who's on the undercard i have to check this i know some of them apaya ajaya apaya ajaya uh tyson fury undercard do do do do do do

do do tyson fury undercard so let's have a look so no matter what uh okay here we go i'll go to the manchester website because that should be nope come on just list me the information it's all i need all i need here we go who's on the undercard i kind of already know this but i'm now being reminded okay so there's a there's a few fights that i'm looking forward to on that one two particular ones and so j apataya is fighting morris or maris spredis for the vacant ibf

cruiserweight championship and j apataya is phenomenal i mean maris spredis is really really good as well but he was the world champion he was a cruiserweight champion and he relinquished his title i can't remember why i think they were trying to force him i don't remember i don't really know what the politics was behind it and but he's really good um apparently he's the one that cut did he is he the one that cut tyson fury which which then delayed okay let me see who cut who cut tyson fury who

cut tyson fury okay leaked footage leaked footage shows moment tyson fury was cut in sparring by an elbow ah call it alexander fury um the statement says here and it's not officially jesus oh the little known croatian oh it's a different it wasn't him it was a little known a croatian heavyweight called agron smaky smaky um because he'll be practicing with practicing he'll be sparring we practice it that's a weird word in that he'll be practicing for his world heavyweight championship showdown um with so he'll be fighting people a lot

smaller than him because face it most people in the world are a lot smaller than him because he's nearly seven foot alexander you six not a small man by any chance like he's i think six three six four maybe it's not it's not it's not short it just he looks short compared to fury and a few it'll be a lot heavier as well but he will be practicing again i can't say that it's the wrong word he will be sparring tyson fury will be sparring with people around the same kind

of height and probably build as alexander fusic because it makes sense doesn't it like if he's because he's going to be punching down the whole time apart from when he's doing uppercuts and i reckon he'll go for his body but if someone said a couple of people said that i'd make a good i might make a good boxing commentator oh thank you i forgot to say i should have i'm not sure if i did say thank you on the on the Facebook page but thank you it was very kind of

you i i'll tell you one thing i mean there's a chance i might get distracted but there's also a chance that if i'm sitting on a table next to because you know it's never just one commentator there's usually at least two or three maybe three and they'll be talking and i hear them in my ear talking about stuff and i like so shut up i'm watching the fight but you have to keep talking throughout and i don't know why they have to keep talking because the boxers are it's it's i

understand if it's on the radio if you're listening on the radio you kind of need a verbal description of what's going on but if you're watching it on the screen you don't need a verbal description of what's going on you can see what's going on so i can understand if it's on the radio but if it's on a tv not really well what about people that are blind that watch telly okay fair enough but generally um um you could you could listen to it on live on a raid i don't

know but you can no wait a minute just listen to the radio isn't it it's easier but then not all the fights are on the radio sometimes it's only the main fight don't get to listen to the undercard but you can if you go on YouTube because loads there's quite a few people do commentary on fights and the whole the night the whole night the whole the whole undercard and everything yeah and i'll watch one and there was this bloke he was commentating and he wanted to talk about the blokes

i don't know something like uh he that the boxer used to be a hairdresser or something like that it was not really relevant and then the fight started to get exciting and but this so the other commentators were talking about oh he's gonna be knocked down and he and this other bloke still wanted to finish his sentence about how he used to work as a hairdresser even when the fight was ended and it was like stopped referee stopped everyone's celebrating the commentator is still trying to finish his point about the

bloke the boxer being a former hairdresser it's like why it seems so important to him and his other times when i watch the commentators and i'm watching the i'm watching the ring i'm watching what's going on in the ring sometimes they'll show you that the commentator is talking but often it's just you hear them and they're talking amongst themselves in between the rounds and the fight's been called off you know the corner they've said no no more we're stopping it and the commentators are oblivious to this because they're too busy

chatting amongst themselves about the weather and you know and maybe about another fight that hasn't happened like can you at least be aware of what's going on now in the ring now and the amount of times that i see the they're the commentators and i see that there's been a headbutt headbutt or foul or i've seen a cut someone's been cut and the commentators are unaware of it and then like maybe two minutes later oh it's like he's got a cut on his on his uh left knee or whatever and

it's like yeah but where were you when it happened i saw it uh another thing i'm just moaning now another thing that i've mentioned this before just that does my does my nutting is going to adverts during the rounds especially during the main fight i want to do this is during the break i want to see i want to hear what the the boxers are being told by their corner men or corner women okay this is pretty much corner men but you know i'm sure there's there's the odd woman that

is involved as well it's a very male-dominated sport boxing regardless of the fact that there are lots of female boxers now but it's very different because if you're any good as a female boxer if you're like a good level you're good if you're good you'll get a chance at a world title very early on in your career so like a man even someone that's uh someone like um antony joshua had to have 16 fights and he was an olympic gold medalist two-time olympian actually if i could if i remember if

i remember correctly antony joshua antony joshua let's have a look antony joshua i remember reading this and like really it's never mentioned it's never mentioned this bit it's mentioned that he won the olympics the gold golden olympics but did you know oh no he didn't he didn't go to olympic i thought he did i'm thinking of lennox lewis that's what i'm thinking of i'm thinking of lennox lewis so um antony joshua won the olympics gold in boxing heavyweight super heavyweight actually 2012 16 fights he had before he or it might

have been his 16th fight that he fought for the world title let me just check number 16 yep charles martin won the ibf heavyweight title um yeah 16th fight i remember that and it was blimey eight years ago so he that's weird it's really strange because i remember him saying i'm gonna fight vladimir klitschko and i thought it was right after he won the world title but it wasn't he had one two well two more fights before that wow ibfwibo anyway anyway wb w w a ibf wbo okay got you

so i thought you know even an olympic gold medalist he still had to have to wait until his 16th fight to fight for the world title if you look at who's the most famous female boxer and female world champions well as some would say some may say list of current female champions okay here we go heavyweight I didn't know there was a heavyweight Vanessa Le Parc Jonan C C and like Clarissa Shields I think in America I think Clarissa Shields would probably be the most famous female boxer I'm guessing over

here probably what's her name Katie Taylor would be the most famous even though she's not obviously from here she's Irish but and worldwide she's she's really really famous really well-known Terry Harper's well-known in the UK but Clarissa Shields is unbeaten Savannah Marshall is another one that's she's my favorite actually she's my favorite and what's the name that beat Clarissa she beat Katie Taylor I forget then you've got Alicia Boom Gardner she's pretty much a superstar female boxer as well she holds all the belts in one of the title one of

the weights Katie Taylor holds all the titles in a super lightweight and Natasha Jonas there's quite a few that because it's such a small pool of people they're really yeah they're doing really they kind of run the things since Sinisa Estrada minimum mini flyweight straw weight holds all the titles in there yeah 26 so if we look at Clarissa Shields let's okay let's look at Clarissa Shields okay now Clarissa Shields Olympic champion twice gold won the gold at the Olympics twice arguably the most successful female boxer of all time you

go I mean she's unbeaten as a boxer I don't know how many fights you had as an amateur but she must have had a lot to get to the point of winning Olympic gold twice I don't want to keep point just so she's in London 2012 Rio Janeiro 2016 she also won gold at the World Championships twice and the Pan American Games once so she turned professional 2016 she's had 14 fights she won doo-doo-doo-doo-doo see she won her first world title what she fought for and won her first world title

in her fourth fight okay fourth fight so let's have a look at some of the other people so Christina Hammer she's a former world title holder so she won the vacant female middleweight title wbo in her eighth fight so let's find another person that's Clarissa Shields doo-doo-doo-doo just you see I mean that's where I'm going with this is there's a lot of Savannah Marshall Savannah Marshall my favorite.

She had to fight a few fights actually before she got a world title fight that's quite unusual. Blimey stop doing that what are you doing?

But it was still a ninth fight she won the ninth WBO female middleweight championship in a ninth fight and she got that from Hannah Rankin who's another British boxer she won a first world title in her no she fought she had a first world title fight in a seventh fight second world title fight in an eighth fight and she she won her no she had a fourth third against in a 14th fight oh and she final she actually won so she had like five four or five world title fights and

then in a 16th fight she won she won a first world title so this again she got a first chance early on Terry Harper she won her first world title fight in a tenth fight well arguably it was in a eighth fight but it was the IBO which is not quite as highly regarded I know but in a tenth fight she won the WBC and so then you got Sandy Ryan who beat her I like Sandy Ryan so she won seventh fight she won the WBO female world welterweight championship seventh

fight Jessa McCaskill another big name in the female boxing she won her first world title now she fought for a world first world title fight was in the seventh fight and she won she didn't win that one because that was against Katie Taylor that was when Katie Taylor was unstoppable I mean before she'd been beaten but she's still still unstoppable I guess but no one's unstoppable but at the time she seemed to be unstoppable that's what I mean Erica so she this one what's her name Jessica McCaskill she won her

first world title she fought for the first one at seven number seven fight lost but then she fought again in the next fight so she won in this eighth fight she won a world title Lauren Price here we go Lauren Price now Lauren Price is an Olympic gold medalist if I'm pretty sure it was yeah 2020 Tokyo Olympics middleweight champion and won huge amounts of medals as an amateur and she won her world title recently 11th of May she won the WBA IBO and a ring female welterweight title in a

seventh fight so you see this is a this it's just it's not because they're getting a nudge up or anything like that it's just this there's not that many female boxers professional female boxers it's just as simple as that compared to the men so Cecilia Brekus okay blimey Wow Wow Brekus she's I've never seen anyone defend the title so many times she's got to have the whole world record Cecilia Carmen Linda Brekus 1981 is a Norwegian professional boxer and former kickboxer she reigned as the undisputed female welterweight boxing champion from

2014 to 2020 and is the first woman in any weight class to hold all four of the main belts the WBA WBC IBF and WBO simultaneously and she's also one of the only 11 boxers in history female or male to hold all four major world titles simultaneously she also held the WBO paw it's nothing wrong with that one it's just it's just not classed as as a major title for some reason 2016 to 2020 personally I say to all of them they should just be one world title if you're the

world champion at the weight or you're not kind of like five different world champions that's just silly it's silly I said it's silly and it's just a way of making money I guess so this lady she won her first world title in 11th win so this is going back she started in 2007 so probably she struggled to find opponents because back then female boxing wasn't particularly popular and the way is so much now I mean it's still never well I say no it's not as popular as the men this it's

just the way it is at the moment but I think that will change based on two things well at first based on the personality and whatever of the the boxer but also the fighting style so if you if a Mike Tyson if I'm just thinking of how popular Pamela Anderson was in the 90s and she became iconic the most famous woman you know in the the Western world for for a while so if you had a mixture of her and Mike Tyson to someone with the ferocious style but someone for

some for whatever reason is catching the imagination of the population for whatever reason Pamela Anderson did that I can't remember but you know or someone with a personality that's just way bigger than the average person then yeah then that would be big you know if you had like a Conor McGregor female Conor McGregor who's just gobby basically but can back it up well you know in the early days he could so he could so he could back it up but also be gobby and he became the most famous mixed martial

arts fighter ever I mean people that don't even watch mixed martial arts UFC or anything like that would probably know who Conor McGregor is because he's he's worldwide famous just like people have never watched boxing would know who Muhammad Ali is and some people get angry they compare Conor McGregor to Muhammad Ali but if you think about it in 20 years time how many mixed martial arts fighters are going to be remembered in 30 years time 40 years time I bet you Conor McGregor will be because he hasn't finished being

controversial you know he's he's remembered for more than just being in the ring I mean technically there are way better fighters that have been more success way more successful in the ring than he has not a huge amount but there have been and John Jones John Bones Jones as an example is arguably the one way he's one of the best practitioners of the sport that's ever been he's almost superhuman and then is the bloke that beat Conor McGregor I forget his name Muscovich or something and he was unbeaten unbeaten and

he retired and and he had like 30 odd fights or something so inside he was untouchable pretty much I don't not sure what there is no point really what I'm saying it's just I just find it's I just wonder Victor Bustos Victor Bustos even people that I've never heard of I don't mean this rudely but this person Victor Victoria Bustos good name isn't it Victoria Bustos and she won the world title and she fought for the world title in her seventh fight didn't win that but then she won a title

in her twelfth fight and then and this was when there was the FAB Argentinian Boxing Federation okay all right FAB surely if it's Argentina Boxing Federation then it's not it's Federation of Argentinian Boxers is FAB oh yeah so we call it the Argentina Boxing Federation but they call it the Federation Argentina de Boxio so it's basically back to front wording or we're doing back to word fronting back back to word back to front but you know I mean oh Lennox Lewis okay let's have a quick look Lennox Lewis I'm pretty

sure he did he won the world title he won gold 1988 but he also went to Olympics in 1984 this is my memory okay let's see if it's true you might be thinking well yeah but you can look at the screen before you said that and know it's true no well yeah could have done but I didn't Olympic Games no damn you 1988 super heavyweight what I'm sure he did the 1984 unless it was oh early life okay let's have a look at amateur career okay ready ready age of 18

Lewis represented Canada in the super heavyweight division at the 1984 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles by that time he was ranked number six in the world by the AIBA he advanced to the quarterfinals where he lost by decision to Tyra Biggs of the USA who went on to win the gold medal so despite being six foot five tall and having a very strong punch his coaches admitted he had to pressure him they had to pressure him to convert size and new raw talent into aggression okay so he was he just

didn't win anything did I say I didn't say he won anything did I at the 1984 Olympics but he he's a two-time Olympian you can be an Olympian without winning a medal or or anything the fact that you were there and to get into the Olympics is a huge deal and you get to the quarter finals is a huge deal and also to lose to the ultimate winner is also a huge deal I would say because it means that you just as easily could have been walking away with silver and

he was so the person Tyrell Biggs instead of getting bronze because he won that so when he won that against Lennox Lewis in the quarterfinal he had bronze if he didn't get any further he'd have gone home with bronze as would the other quarterfinalist winner then he got through to the semifinal so if he hadn't won the semifinal he'd have gone home with bronze but if he did win the semifinal he was guaranteed silver as was no yeah as was the other semifinal so two two silvers two bronze no four

bronze two quarterfinals silver quarterfinals is this two fight the main fight two fights so there's two silvers four bronze four bronze no two quarterfinals no four bronze and then them two go into the two semifinals and the winners of the semifinals fight each other in the final so it's four bronze two silvers one gold is that right though I don't know why it seems I don't know why that's weird oh well because what's his name Wilder Wilder got bronze because he calls himself the bronze bomber bomb squad that's what he

does he shouts he did this there's a quite a funny bit where he he shouted it out and he made one of the ladies jump who is in the is one of the they still get people dressing up in skimpy costumes I don't know why they do it I just it seems silly like the ring girls and getting into the ring and holding up the number of the next round and yeah I don't know why they still do that it just seems a bit pointless it's just personally I don't see

I mean we don't need I mean the referee go if you watching it you know what round it is if you're in the audience you know what round it is generally because the big screen is saying round four round five and if you're on telly watching it you know what round it is because it comes on the screen and they mention they say now it's round five and at the beginning of the round seconds out round three or whatever it is and when they say seconds I used to think it

was we're running out of the minutes nearly over because they get a minute rest in between rounds I thought they meant there's a few seconds left the seconds is the name of the people in his corner who are his seconds they are the people that help him that give him water and put fix any cuts and whatever you know they kind of look after him in between rounds they're the seconds I really thought it was like seconds out you know the minutes over I thought it was just another way of

saying the minutes up but seconds out is like right everyone get out of the ring except the boxers and the referee but I always shout out the number of the of the of the round so yeah I just get confused it's not the first time being confused I was confused once before Finley started barking in for a second but he stopped I don't know if there's someone in the garden I think there might be someone in the garden but he stopped now he's a good boy you are a good boy

Finley yes you are in your own little way in your own little way you're a good little sausage yes you are yes you are still didn't get to read the magazine did I good housekeeping a favorite to most men around the world so I have to read it tomorrow tomorrow and trying to think if anything's happened today I've got my delivery I'm pretty sure I put down two ready pranks now you know I can't really prove it and have I wasn't filming myself ordering it but I'm pretty sure that I

would have put two because I remember thinking to myself so initially I know I initially put down one and then I start thinking well I might as well do two because I might not have enough money to buy another packet at the end of the week for next week so if I just do it at least then it's done and I just thought but for some reason they've only delivered one and it's only got one on there and I don't get that that that just confuses me because I remember instinctly

or distinctly or other words that may have the similar meaning very strange very weird so yeah that that's kind of it really I don't really know what I've talked about today I know it's been concise and to the point as it normally is because you know ever since reading I'm like just blabbering on about nothing I thought no I'm not doing that anymore I'm gonna really I'm gonna be a little bit more and I want the right word is just easier to follow maybe easier to easier to follow the trail

trail the train of thought you know maybe sometimes I do move in different directions from one topic to the next and but no more never again never ever ever and that's it from now on you know rubbish man they took my rubbish but the rubbish they've not been here yet so delivery people the rubbish people that collect the rubbish on a Wednesday morning not collected it but my rubbish bags are gone but the other rubbish bags that were there still there unless they were put out afterwards and my bags is

already gone where they gone and I literally had I think Easter day I had two black bags go missing now the council do not work on Easter Sunday something strange going on here so I said to me or maybe maybe you're being surveyed surveilled whoever right well what they're gonna find I mean just bags of poo he said why would there be bags of poo in your rubbish I said no reason no just a joke he used to be when I had Andre I used to clear out his litter and

put it in there so if I ever put any mail or anything I would make sure it's all together so someone was gonna decide to go through my rubbish it would not be a pleasant experience for them now I just put pictures of myself in the bag as well so it's equally as traumatic did it did it did it did it be so yeah I'm gonna go now just remember Q&A Friday this Friday was it Tuesday today so Wednesday Thursday Fridays of two more days and then Friday I normally do

it around the afternoon time and then upload or edit and upload like I do in the morning so Saturday morning early it will be released so hey hey hey hey we're the monkeys and we like monkeying around we're too busy singing to put anybody down we're just trying to be trendy come and watch us sing and play we're the young generation and we've got something to say I like to leave a significant poem and that was today's poem made up all by myself would you believe yep it's called hey hey

we're the monkeys I'm quite pleased oh just off the top of my head Wow anyway I'm gonna go I think I'm gonna treat myself to some toast just some toast I'm not gonna have anything else just some toast because that's what I fancy eating just some toast it's weird maybe strange to you but feels right to me so I'll speak to you later thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy and also be gentle with yourself lots of love and I will speak to you again tomorrow bye

Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.