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I am a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend, yeah. I am a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend. Ooh! OK, I'll be a little bit careful with this.
Hello. Hello. Welcome to jasonnewland.com. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep.
And I am literally just finishing uploading the last episode to my Let Me Bore Your Pain Away podcast. So basically, for those that don't know, because I mentioned this before, and I'm sure I mention it continuously. Basically, I have opened a new podcast, or started a new, using a new podcast hosting service called Zencast.
For the smaller podcasts, the ones that I don't necessarily get a huge amount of plays. But at the same time, I get hardly any plays now because none of them are with music. There's no ones with background music or 5 hour or 10 hour ones.
But now, there is, on this podcast, an app, the Zencast. So please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. I'm a bit sweaty today.
There's quite, the thing is, there's a lot of light in here and it does make me hot. But I do have two windows open. Still light outside, technically.
And yeah, so that's it really. Vinnie's underneath the table eating his bone. He's stopped, I've watched him, he's stopped biting his bone, he's listened.
He's like ears pricked up. So, wow, so I've done that now. So what I need to do is, hopefully this shouldn't make any difference.
I need to add the RSS feed to Apple Podcasts. So give me two seconds and I'll be right back. Hey, I'm back.
That was quick. So I've got 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30. 30 different podcasts on Apple Podcasts.
To be fair, some of them are just not there anymore. But, you know, because they were old, old, old, and I just didn't see the point. But maybe I should, just for the sake of it.
Maybe I should just keep them there so that people can watch them if they want to. You know, maybe. I don't know.
Do you think I'm going bald? Yes. So I have done the... La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Let me bore your pain away.
Where is it? Oh, there it is. Let me bore your pain away. So what I need to do is go to the... Let me bore your pain away.
RSS feed. Copy that. Now go into there.
Edit it. Change the feed. It basically just directs it.
So anywhere that has the Apple Podcast podcast, for example, Spotify, Apple Podcast, of course, and loads of others, will now be redirected to the new podcast host. So the show has rights. Is there a party? Yes.
And frequency. Let's go monthly for this. I might be doing more soon.
And that's it. Done. Done, da, da, done, done, done, done.
So, so far I have... Got one, two, three, four, five podcasts on Zencast. So there's Let Me Bore Your Porn. Bore Your Porn.
Let Me... Freudian Slip. Let Me Bore Your Pain Away. Sleepy Boring Objects.
Stop Smoking Hypnosis. Jason's Bedtime Storytime. And ASMR Whisper Let Me Bore You To Sleep.
And I mean, to be fair, still, since I've done it last seven days, 545 plays. Today I've only had 66 plays. So it's not going as well as I'd like it to go, to be honest.
If I'm honest. But it takes a while for all the other things to catch up. Australia, 257.
United States, 139. United Kingdom, 94. And there's a few others, like Saudi Arabia, 1. Nigeria, 1. Germany, 1. Ireland, 9. Canada, 9. Mexico, 28.
And I do believe that's everywhere. So it's spread around. But what I might do, in the end, I might actually have all my podcasts on there.
Like everything just in one place. Which makes more sense, but it's going to take literally months to do. Because there's so many.
So many. So many. I don't know.
We'll see. We'll see. I'll do the small ones first.
So I've got... OK, just on Facebook, but I'll leave that. YouTube, I'm videoing this. For my sins.
I'm videoing it. When is Canbosis? Focus, rise, elementary, showdown, focus, and ready for war. I don't know.
It's... What I've been doing the last three days, four days? I've been uploading... One, two, three, four, five days. For the last five days, I have created videos out of the podcasts for the Let Me Boyd Asleep. So one thousand, one hundred and three, four, five, six and seven.
And it's pretty much... Blimey, yeah. It's the last one, two, three, four, five. Five days in a row.
Is that right? Did I really do... I made recordings at the weekend. That's unlike me. No.
Really? No. No, I did, I must have done. How many days was in a month then, last month? Was it just... Ah.
Ah, so the publish date. No. No, because I did that, it was yesterday.
So, let's go, I need to change that. It says the publish date, I'm sure I put the right date in. Because I was putting the date which it was, which was the day before.
It was yesterday. Because what I do, I make the videos, well I make the podcasts the night before. And then I do the processing, the editing and all that stuff, first thing in the morning.
I've got it here, recording date 30th of April. But publishing date was today, so yeah, fair enough. Okay, I'm arguing with myself on this one.
But it is, yeah, okay. I can't complain, because that is the publishing date. So I published, so I've done the 26th, 27th, 28th, 29th, 30th.
And now today, which is the 1st of May. 1st of May? 2023. I've come to realise that I like end of the world movies.
I think there might be something wrong with me. There's this movie with Nicolas Cage. I forget what it's called, but it's basically another kind of end of the world, post-apocalypse kind of thing.
I don't know, I seem to like that stuff. And I have done. For a long time.
Probably since, yeah, probably 20 years. I just realised, because the whole The Walking Dead was part of that, wasn't it? Like the end of the world kind of thing, and what kind of caused the end of the world, didn't it? And then there's been a few, a few over the years. Was it 2002? Was it a movie, 2002 or 2012? No, 2012, that's it.
Which was Apocalypse. Apolokpikki. Apol... Apolokpikki? Apolokpikki, I don't know.
Apocalypse, Apocalypse, that's it. So, yeah, I might as well just, I'm making a video. Ah, well.
I can't ignore the camera anyway, so. Just... I'm probably going to put this down as well, because I think I've... Had enough of looking at screens for a little while. I'm glad that I've finished that anyway, I've finished that podcast.
But, you know, I've still got... A lot to do, a lot to upload. And I'm just not sure how it's going to go. Whether I'm just going to, like, I don't know.
I partly just feel like I'm just not doing it. Because of all the work that's involved. Very lazy, isn't it? What's in the local news? Colchester PDSA story and plea for unwanted items.
And volunteers, okay. Helicopter. Here's the name of the crew.
The creepy... Wounded 90s. Major 90s. A surgeon there.
Head of the police force. Oh, okay. Major is a... Okay.
So, just having a little look at this. Right. Still amazes me.
Amazes me. Even the local paper. I'm closing out of it, enough of that.
Even the local paper. Online. Is trying to give it the bigun.
Like, no, you should pay, or you should join. You need to subscribe. Even if it's free, why should I have to subscribe? Like, oh, you should need to sign in to see what the local news is.
Like, but I don't want to. I really don't. No.
As it happened... I'll have a drink. Tell me if this is annoying. Someone said, oh, I don't like it when you drink.
When you drink water. Water is just really... Puts me off, and just stops me feeling relaxed. Tell me if this... Because I think it's ridiculous.
First of all, we need to be able to drink. Yeah? We need to be able to drink. It keeps us alive.
It literally keeps us alive. We have to drink water, or drink something. And whatever you drink, it's the water that's brought out of that.
And the food, the water from the food. It keeps us alive. That's the, you know... Kind of important.
Kind of. Rather. And this person posted a message saying, well, I don't like it when you drink water.
It just puts me off relaxing. So, it's a bottle of water. I'm just a normal human being, drinking out of a bottle of water.
Tell me if this is distracting from relaxing. Oh, sorry. Oh, that was so childish.
I spat it back into the bowl. I'll save that when I get a visit, and I'll offer it to them. Um... I had a visit the other day, and they wanted some water, so I gave them my water, which was left.
And I went and got myself another new bottle. And I walked in, and they put their hands out for the new bottle I got. And they'd already been drinking out of this as well.
They'd already been drinking out of the one that I gave them. I said, no. No, I did.
I gave them a bottle in the end. The thing is, water ain't cheap. It's not.
It's not like it used to be. Nothing's like it used to be. Do you remember how things used to be? Used to be different, didn't it? I'm just trying to think what's happened today.
I took Vinnie out for a walk. I think he's had... I'm tired. I always get tired when I do these, because I'm no longer focusing on anything.
It's just talking. And to get a little bit... I'll close this down as well. Get rid of the screens.
And I've got a light shining right in my eyes. See? See what I mean? So if you do that, you can see the shadow on my eyes. See? It's amazing.
So... I took him for a walk. I didn't go into the field. In fact, I didn't take... Because I got up at 4 o'clock.
And I worked on the podcast and edited it. And I got... Pretty much most of what I needed to do by 5. I still needed to upload it. But I'd done the editing and the processing by 5 o'clock.
Had my breakfast. While I was watching TV. The news.
And then... I came back and I did some more stuff. Because part of the process then is to make an image. Upload everything.
Create an image. And all that stuff. And then... Still took about an hour and a half.
Maybe two hours before they were all uploaded. And then I went back for a nap. But I didn't go back for a nap.
I didn't go and lay. I sat down. I listened to an audio book on YouTube.
And I fell asleep. And I woke up. It was... Gone 9 o'clock.
In the morning. And I took him out. Yeah, I can't remember the exact time.
Maybe... It was... Yeah, it was after 9. Maybe half 9. Quarter to 10. Took him out for a walk. Into the park.
And... No! Yes! No! 9, 10... Oh no, I got a text message from my friend. Yeah, so I called her. And then I went out.
So I had to go to the petrol station. So I took Vinnie to the petrol station. With me.
And then I came back. Because I had to draw money out of the bank. Out of the cash point.
And then... And then... I... What did I do then? I came back. It wasn't a hurry. You know, I just came back.
What I've noticed though is this. We cross over. It's a main road.
It's a really busy road. That leads to a motorway. It's basically two motorways.
That connect with each other. But it's country road between. Kind of.
I made part of that up. But it definitely does lead to one motorway. I'm not sure what's on the other side.
I think that also leads to a motorway. But it's a long country road. Yeah, it does lead to... Yeah, it does 100% lead to a motorway.
Leads to a few. So, but... It's very, very busy. That's what I'm saying.
Very, very busy. And it also leads to town. So there's one road that leads to town.
That's busy all the time. So between two towns that road is. And then there's also a turn off that goes down a motorway.
Which can then lead you, I guess, to anywhere in the country. Depending on where you're going. Not anywhere in the country.
But you know what I mean. Once you're on the motorway. On a motorway.
Then you can pretty much direct yourself. To anywhere you want to go. On this land.
I guess. I mean, I'm not a driver. I'm not a nautilus.
Nautilus? I'm not a mapmaker. I don't... A lot of stuff I say is partly made up. But I think it might be true.
It might actually make sense to someone. Somewhere. I don't know.
So... Anyway, it's busy. That's what I'm trying to say. This is busy.
And I cross at this bit. Where... You know when you've got the... I don't know what it's called. But it's like a middle bit of the road.
Where you can cross over and stand in the middle. And then you cross over again. So you can cross one side and then cross the other side.
And there's like a gap. It's specifically there for people to cross. That's what it's there for.
So people can cross the road, really. But it's not a zebra crossing. So people don't have to stop.
Well some people don't stop. Well obviously someone has stopped. Otherwise they'd still be standing there for nine years.
The last nine years waiting to cross. So people have stopped hundreds of times. It's not like no one ever stops.
And sometimes they do have to wait until there's no traffic to get across. Which... It's just what it is. But... It's annoying.
It's really annoying. And... What amazes me. What amazes me is... I'm not a driver.
So I don't know what it's like to be a driver. And... If pedestrians... If drivers perceive pedestrians the same way that pedestrians perceive drivers. Then pedestrians are very annoying.
Basically. If you're a pedestrian. We see drivers.
Not all drivers. But generally. There's just so many silly things.
So if you're in a car. You're going to notice things that other cars are doing. But if you're a pedestrian you get a very different view.
I mean I don't get to see stuff on the motorways. Because... So if you're a lorry driver. And you're driving everyday on the motorway.
You get to see the most ridiculous things that you should never see. Just people making silly errors and mistakes and just whatever. I don't get to see as much of that.
There's so much speeding. And people speed... Speed... Just to get behind another car. And then there's like 18 cars ahead of them.
They're not going to get anywhere. But they slow down until there's a gap. And then they speed again.
Just to get right behind that car. And sometimes they do it at the crossing. So the part where we cross.
Where the pedestrians can cross. But again it's not an official crossing place. So no one has to stop.
But sometimes the car will slow down. Looking like they're about letting you cross. You go to cross and they speed up.
Now I've discussed this with other pedestrians. And apparently it doesn't happen to anyone else. So I'm beginning to wonder what's going on.
And it's just me. But... I mean I saw someone actually walking on the pavement. Walking on the side of the road.
And I went to cross and they started running towards me. So maybe it's just me. Maybe I've got that.
Weird. In fact there was this rabbit. In the field and it ran at me.
So I don't know. I don't get it. But the amount of cars that slow down.
But they think they're slowing down enough. And they don't take into consideration. I've got a tiny little dog with me.
Who does not just walk across the road like a good boy. He messes around sometimes. He bites at my ankle.
He tries to trip me up. And also I don't walk quickly. I've got arthritis in my lower back.
I'm not a quick walker. And I'm not going to try and outrun a car. Or I'm not going to run across the road.
I did that when I was a kid. I've seen other kids do it. And I've seen other people do it.
And become a cropper. To be honest. So I'm not going to do that.
And some people think that in their cars. If they slow down to just 30 miles an hour. I can get across.
No. They have to stop. They don't have to stop.
Obviously. But. They need to stop.
Because I can't outrun. Even a slow car. I can't walk fast.
And I can't walk fast with him. Because. You know.
If I trip up or whatever. And. I've actually seen Vinnie.
He's a tiny little thing. He's so cute. When he's not barking.
He's cute when he's asleep as well. He's so cute when he's asleep. Unless him.
I do watch him. And I think like. You know.
Me and him. We're going to get old together. Now I realize.
Some people watching the video might think. Who are you talking about? You're already old mate. You're already old.
Well. I'm still. I'm still virile.
In my own way. In my own way. Well that was a weird noise.
I'm still. Sometimes I feel a bit old. And by the way.
When I say arthritis in my lower back. I'm not. I'm not like.
Really. Walking really slowly. With a walking stick or anything.
That might happen in the future. I hope not. But it's.
It's. It's gradually. Why are you talking about your arthritis? I don't know.
I'm just mentioning it. I'm just. Just trying to explain that.
When I cross the road. Because you might think. Well people.
Wouldn't expect someone. Like me. If I'm not.
If I've not got a walking stick. They'd think that I was able bodied. And why would I walk so slowly.
And it's not their fault. And I wasn't blaming anyone. I'm just saying that.
And. Probably. 5% of the drivers.
On the road. Seem to stop. That's really not true at all.
Actually. Sometimes everyone stops. Sometimes no one stops.
Sometimes. You know. 20 cars go past.
Sometimes the best people that stop. Not the best. But the ones that are more.
Up for stopping. Are the ones that are on the road a lot. Like lorry drivers.
Because they can. They're up quite high up. They can see there's like.
50 cars in front of them. They know that by stopping. And letting.
The pedestrian cross the road. Is going to make. Zero difference to their life.
Or to. The time they get to their destination. Because they can see.
Much further down the road. And. I know this is a generalisation.
But I would say that. People that work. Lorry drivers.
For example. Lorry drivers. Are.
They're some of the best drivers. There are. Because they're doing that for a living.
And they have to be. You have to be very skillful. To do that job.
And. They are. They have to be considerate about.
Other cars. And pedestrians. Because.
They just don't have to be. But they are. I just find that.
A lot of lorry drivers. A lot of lorries do stop. To let me cross.
Maybe it's because I look like a lorry. Maybe my. My belly looks like a big.
A big van. I don't know. He's hiding a van up his vest.
That's my belly. I don't know where I'm going with that. Van drivers.
I don't know. There's a certain. I think.
If you're driving. Especially nowadays. Like.
There was the old cliche. The white van driver. Back in.
You know. 20. 30 years ago.
It was always like. Oh. They're inconsiderate.
They'll drive in. Park anywhere. They'll think they're on the road.
And. A lot of people used to say. That would be.
Bus drivers. And. Taxi.
Black cab drivers. In London. Moaning about.
White van drivers. You know. Not having any.
But then. The black cab drivers. That's.
By the way. When I say black cab driver. In London.
And. The. If you're in the UK.
You know what black cab driver is. But if you're not. It's similar to like New York.
Because in New York. You have yellow. Cabs.
Don't you. It's like that. But we have.
Or had. I don't know if it's still the same. Have a thing.
Where. The. Taxi drivers.
Have to take. I think it's two years long training. Called the knowledge.
And they have to learn the whole of London. All the roads. All the streets in London.
And. It's. And then they get.
They rent or buy a black cab. You know ones you get into. And they pretty much ruled London.
When it came to taxis. And then many cabs came in. Now.
I guess you got Uber. And all the other different ones. So.
I'm not sure. That the. Outside of the.
Touristy parts. I'm not sure how. How good a job it is now.
How well it paid. The job is. Like self-employed.
I don't know. But. Don't.
I've. I've only ever known one. Black cab driver.
And he. Went through the training. The knowledge.
And it's like. Wow. I think he used to ride around on a moped.
Constantly. Continuously going around. The different roads.
Just to get to. Just to get to know. Everywhere.
I mean technically. London's not. It's not a huge place.
But I wouldn't want to learn. I mean. I don't.
Yeah. I don't even know. The road next to me.
I've lived here for nine years. I don't know. The road next to me.
I'm going there. Yeah. Bahama.
I don't know that road. I don't know. The road on the right.
I don't know. I don't know. My neighbor's name.
Oh. New neighbor's name. My friend's new neighbor.
My friend's flat is now. Got a new person in there. That's what I meant.
And. Yeah. So.
I just. I like to think. If I was a taxi driver.
Or a driver. Just a driver. Generally.
I would be very considerate. Towards pedestrians. But you know what.
Maybe I wouldn't. Maybe. Maybe.
As soon as I got behind the wheel. The wheel of a car. I might be.
Like well. Stuff you. Get yourself a car.
Lazy bugger. You. You.
Scum. Walking scum. Maybe I'd be like that.
I might turn. Turn into a. Anti-pedestrian. Why don't you drive? What you can't.
What you can't learn to drive. Huh? Huh? Huh? What I walk around on the pavement. Oh.
I need to cross the road. Nyeh. Nyeh.
Nyeh. Why don't you just drive? Oh. Oh.
You want to go to the. to the shops okay that's it you're pedestrian you better put your coat on and your woolly jacket on your woolly hat your skis everything you've got to do you know in order to get to the shop so you can buy your stuff and get soaking wet and then walk back soaking wet again i'll just drive there i'll just drive there in my t-shirt yeah my jeans t-shirt maybe my slippers just go in flip-flops and just like buy what i need and just come out oh
a little bit of rain on their mind it's only like 30 what five seconds in the rain and i'll drive back and just get out drive to the driveway and just walk back in and nothing maybe shake their head like that and all the water's gone but you turn up and you're completely soaked just hope that you haven't caught something you know it's like just and i'm warm and dry and i mean you know wow i didn't i had that much hatred towards pedestrians inside me oh perhaps i should be
a driver never driven oh that's not true i did drive once i used to be a getaway driver once i needed the money they to be fair it didn't go well i needed the money it was good money now they should have they didn't ask me the proper questions you know are you willing to do it yeah uh are you willing to take 10 of the profits i said yeah um are you you keep your mouth shut yeah and all that stuff the question it didn't ask me is can you
drive so i should have it should have like come up a little bit questions what i said i'll meet you there i'll meet you outside the bank you just drive the car there i'll meet you outside okay and also should have questioned it when i was in the passenger seat when it came out of the bank but hey um that's enough about my personal life i don't like to go into that stuff i used to be an owl so what why are people racist towards squirrels in this country i don't
know if you have that in other countries where you live because you know i do have people listening all over the world and do you in your country are you racist towards squirrels because here this whole thing like those gray squirrels we like the red squirrels but those gray squirrels they just saw off all the red squirrels so we pick the nose now you know those we love the red squirrel a squirrel is a squirrel they're exactly the same but a different color there's no difference it's the same yeah the
gray squirrels are pretty as well it's just the red squirrels match more like the red trees don't they and they're they're they're gonna survive more in that kind of woodland but in the uk in england it's a very gray country which is probably why we've got gray squirrels if we had a bit more color a bit more red trees and red bright not really because let's face it if you whatever color will match in with the environment and they'll survive from the golden eagles and the albatrosses and aliens or whatever
flying alligators whatever attacks them so a red squirrel will survive in a red environment because it will it will just blend in and a gray squirrel will be taken away because it won't blend in so it's an environmental thing nothing else or gray squirrels are just hornier that might be what it is because it could be some says oh yeah but gray squirrels are brought from abroad you know that horrible place abroad they come from abroad they come from overseas like yeah we all came from overseas originally none of us
are from here i'm from here i was born over there i don't mean you weren't born here i'm saying if you go far back in your ancestry you probably weren't born here you're you weren't probably from here you're you're great great great great great great great great great great great great great great uncle what are you doing that's very weird it's very strange he's being very strange i might try and pick him up so you can see him what are you doing he's sniffing on my leg he's sniffing on my
leg so i think the the amount of people i wouldn't do it i mean originally there was just one land mass wasn't there one continent you know if you look at the the world it's like a jigsaw puzzle isn't it basically and everything fits together again i don't know if that's true but it sounds good and he's scratching me now who's good because i got fleas um i yeah i think the continent so not in in continent so i technically we are all from here but here would also be india
and japan and canada and it'd just be one land mass i mean some would argue no but different now you can have uh different countries in the same land mass which technically is true i don't really understand why i'm you know i understand a little bit about history but one bit of land mass one country is that's kind of how i feel it should be because i'm very simple so i think we just number the countries england maybe wales england scotland so they could be number 15 16 17 well just
make it a little bit easier if you're gonna bark you're gonna have to go outside into the bedroom it's not outside technically but so if you're gonna bark for anything that's what you're gonna have to do he's having a good lick that's nice so i i might get one of those dna test things those kits which tell you how how kind of i don't know does it give you like a list of different variations the different flavors that you are so uh your percentage percentage of being anglo-saxon or a percentage
of being russian or chinese or whatever so i might get one of them just out of interest because i mean if you do the maths if you if you literally go back see our timeline can end as far as you know it's a bright it's a tree the branches can end and it could be billions of branches and it can end each branch and eventually one can end you know not not create any more because two people didn't get together and you know but if you go backwards all the way
backwards all the way back to the beginning of the tree it started with a seed one seed one seed if i'm correct i don't think there's more than one seed and but then if you think of the analogy of a tree one seed my finger looks wonky um then i'm thinking but that tree was created from seeds from another tree landing on the ground or being carried with in a bird's poo or whatever which is then created another tree ah but not really in humans that wouldn't work so we all
go back we're all related if you go back and back and back and back and back and back and back and back we're all related we can't not be we all go back to the same place i don't know what that place is or who that person was some people have but know exactly who it is they're very very certain but ultimately ultimately a particular timeline can end but it started and it goes back it goes back and it goes back yeah so i don't have any kids so my particular
my particular like branch ends with me but if i go back it can't end going backwards go back to my dad and goes back to his dad and goes back to his dad i know i realize women have a little role in it as well so i'm not quite sure about the female part i know a little bit about i know it's it's more in than out i don't know no i'm just saying this this goes it's um it just keeps going back and if you go back from dad to
dad granddad granddad like that it can never end how does it ever end it can end as far as like well i don't know who was the father of my great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great granddad i don't know who his father was but he had to have had a father and that father had to have had a father and that father had to have had a father so every person that's ever been born has to have had a father
like as far as insemination goes i mean maybe not a father um in a traditional family sense but there was there was a you know going on so and it keeps going back and back and back and back and back and back and back where does it end it can't end that's where the adam and eve kind of makes sense in a way because how could it have started with more than two people i'm now converted no just you know there must have been two people involved i personally here's what
i think we're all aliens that's what i think now i always used to think i was an alien and when is a spaceship going to come down and click me i used to when i was a kid i'd spend ages just looking up at the sky my dad would say what you're doing i said i'm just looking looking at the heavens wondering if the spaceship's going to come and click me and he said oh you get a beautiful view if you go outside um because that's just the ceiling jason oh
okay and so i go outside he never told me that i wasn't an alien that's weird you think he said hey just let you know you're not actually an alien you were born he never told me that yeah i wonder what that means but i i reckon i reckon that we're aliens it explains a lot of things well first of all the different languages i know people that are on it we can explain the languages through history and and latin and spanish and all comes from this that led to this
you know fair enough but doesn't it i mean people from different countries we people do look different it's not it's not a bad thing to say it's just a fact isn't it that there's certain parts of the world like in england and we're all super handsome and super beautiful the men very very beautiful here and it's there's something that i mean i don't know the rest of the world realized but every man in england is uh i don't know i don't want to kind of go into it really but uh
pretty special pretty special special abilities it just reminds me of something there was this expert this this doctor said that the only part of the body of the human body that never gets tired is the tongue now there are a lot of people watching this or listen to this that could argue with that statement the tongue never gets tired because people talk for ages and they don't get don't get to tongue tired don't get tongue tired tongue tied tongue tired the tongue doesn't get tired people talk all day long the
throat can get tired and dry but the tongue a little bit the tongue can tongue can get very tired sometimes i was surprised because we're moving it it depends what how you talk if you use your tongue a lot i don't know how much i use my tongue when i talk because it's just most of it is automatic but now that i am focusing on my tongue it's it's weird i'd say another weird thing is to try and wet yourself it's hard maybe the other day i woke up and i
needed to go to the toilet and i thought you know what i'm not that keen on this bed anymore anyway and i can't be bothered to walk to the toilet to the to the toilet to the bathroom let's get a new bed and i thought i'm just going back to bed if i just go back to sleep it doesn't matter if i still kept waking up i almost gave gave myself permission to just wet the bed but it wouldn't happen some might find that's a bit of a strange thing to
do at my age but or some people might think well it's about the right age to be starting to wet the bed again maybe but it's just like it's i just couldn't just i'm not saying i wanted to it just there was this thing stopping me unfortunately there wasn't anything stopping me from telling you this either what's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened i'm trying to think oh there was one thing i can't tell you though because it's rude okay i'll try and describe it in a way that isn't
rude but you can kind of understand what i'm saying i was around my friend neil's house when i was about 14 13 14 and i stayed over so he's in the bed i'm on the floor with a sleeping bag he's in the bed no he's got a sleeping bag as well maybe he slept on the floor as well or he slept on the bed of sleeping bag i don't know we both had sleeping bags for some reason so i'm in a sleeping bag i go to sleep obviously we tickle each
other for a little while first and then i go to sleep and i wake up probably seven in the morning saturday morning because it's friday night saturday morning i'm thinking oh god i wonder what's for breakfast as you do when you're that's part of the reason i was there two reasons three reasons actually the breakfast and his two sisters that were twins i'm not gonna lie i didn't lie to him i didn't make it a secret i let them both know that i loved them equally and i let him know
and i let the parents know like and they were way too old they were probably in their 20s at this point so but i didn't care i wanted them i loved them i still loved them even if they are 90 now i still loved them so they they were scottish it's weird because not weird his mum had a real real real strong scottish accent like glasgow scottish really strong his dad sounded i think he had like the edinburgh accents was very very mild accent wasn't wasn't strong or very he was
very softly spoken and very i didn't even know he was scottish to be honest with you but he was he just and the whole family came from scotland and moved to where i was and um i think the reason why he's friends with me was the only one that spoke to him no i'm joking um anyway he's in his i'm wake i wake up okay i've been asleep i'm not dressed i'm under the under the under the dressing yeah under sleeping bag i guess he used to be in the sea
cadets as well i think so the sleeping bags we used to use when we used to go camping with the sea cadets anyway he so i wake up and i look over at him he's in there he's there and he's grinning i'm like i don't know why he's grinning i'm thinking was i snoring or what and we're just chatting and he said uh let's have a contest okay so that's as far as i'm going to go with that so it was a contest i'm not going to go um we were
both in our individual sleeping bags to see who could win uh the time the fastest time um of this contest sorry i mean it might have been you know uh reading a book whatever it was you know i'm not gonna go into that because it's an embarrassing story anyway i won the contest so it was still underneath but we're still in our sleeping bags at this point okay i won the contest and i'm like waving like yeah with my left arm yeah i'm the king i'm the king because i was
only a kid well he starts laughing and he jumps up out of his sleeping bag fully clothed and walks downstairs to get breakfast laughing in fact wait a minute i can still hear him laughing now i don't know if he ever told anyone i didn't why would it have to be a YouTube video that i decided to talk about this uh but i uh yeah that didn't happen so what else didn't happen i took him out for yeah this is this woman that i saw today she's got a big big
dog big big dog like it's a excel bully beautiful thing really big had a muzzle on and everything and um it's weird because i used to see her when i first moved it i'd see her regularly on the bus walking home all kind of stuff she lived around the corner and i just and then i stopped seeing her just didn't see her anymore and i guess i thought she must have moved away and i saw her a few months ago and i saw her again today and she's still living exactly
where she was before around the corner from me like the 20 second walk from here but she's got a car so she she drives and she goes where she's going it's like that's so weird i just don't see her and i'm out multiple times a day with him snorey man and i was out a lot with uh andre as well multiple times especially in the summer constantly taking him out for walks and weather was nice when the weather was horrible i didn't generally bother because i didn't need to because he
didn't need to go out and he didn't want to be out in the rain or the cold necessarily although i did take andre out in the snow that was funny he loved the snow could dig in it couldn't he which he did i dressed him up as uh all christmasy big christmas costume and he had a hat he had everything the whole thing and he dug into the he came out the other came went into one hole came out another hole all the costume was gone he was just giggling and
i couldn't find it and i wear him i don't know how far he traveled he must have just made a big tunnel never see it again ever even when the snow melted because the snow was probably a few couple of feet a few feet dip deep at this point there was quite a big snowfall on that that that time never saw it even when the stone melted it wasn't there and i'm pretty sure that no one would like it wasn't something that you'd see on the ground and think well i
gotta have that oh i'm gonna add that to my collection of crap soiled dirty ferret clothes what is a miniature center costume i mean so yeah it's it was weird he did like the snow though it's funny i've got some pretty sure i got some film of him in the snow pretty sure i have i don't know somewhere i must have done oh yeah so we saw this dog and my this my neighbor's dog a big old thing and he's a little bit um a little bit reactive to other dogs
he's not quite not sure and because he's a rescue she she's had him for a couple of months i think or with a month or a few days after she did so i forget and it might have been today she got him and she said that she was his third owner because the other two people i think three people before her gave him back because he was too big and boisterous not dangerous but just boisterous and very strong dogs and he had a muzzle on but he vinnie did his thing
he was barking to start with and then he lied down and was doing the the passive submissive thing so the other the big dog went to lick his belly but because he's got his plastic muzzle on it i actually felt it because he he did it to my hand and it hurt a bit hurt but it bashed my finger a little bit because it's hard hard plastic so it bashed vinnie and he cried not cry but like ow and he came ran to me now he hates being picked up when
we're generally when we're out but he let me pick him up and he covered him to me because it it was a how to react because temporarily i guess he'd been hurt a little bit just and he didn't know what to do so it just shows that he's got a he might have some kind of he might care about me a little bit i don't know that's what i'm trying to get to really and yeah that's it lovely lovely dog big i mean it's not it's not fully grown it's really
long you can see like it's got the strong but it's really long so it's going to be a huge dog it's already huge but he's got i guess it's as long as it's on a on on a month got a muzzle on on a lead in this country and it's a nice dog it's nice you know but you know my friends was he wasn't an excel bully but it was a it was a staffy it was that kind of dog and he needed a lit like logy he needed a muzzle
hated the muzzle but he needed the muzzle and as soon as he had the muzzle on he was as good as gold or other dogs because he couldn't do it a single thing he couldn't do anything but without the muzzle wasn't dog friendly and again he was a rescue dog so there's no way of knowing i don't know what he went through before don't know you know just don't know i mean i know he was okay in one place he lived the the place that my friend got in that was
a friend's place but before that he was a rescue i think so yeah it was a strange one he's a good boy he was a good boy he's a little softy a big softy with humans but not not all other dogs apart from vinnie and he he loved vinnie they loved each other but living together for those two months they wound each other up and it's weird because before that they used to lay on each other and cuddle up with each other and stuff but after being here two months they
didn't literally sit on he was he they wouldn't it's not that they wouldn't be together they would but they wouldn't be cuddling the way they used to you know if on the sofa for example one would be on one side and one would be on the other previous to living together they'd be together then he'd be lying on him cuddling up to him and stuff so it's something changed between them they had a it might have just been this is this is vinnie's he thinks it's his manner this is his
environment he doesn't realize it's mine but he thinks it's his and if you're listening i know you're listening vinnie i can see why don't you might as well look at me if you're going to just do that i could get him to say goodbye to you so you know he's do you want to say hello i'll just click and i'll just let me say goodbye no i even got a treat trying to get him to get onto the sofa so i could pick him up he knew he knew what i
was trying to do he's just staring at me like i'm not an idiot you know okay so that's it i'm going to go thank you for listening and remember remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy be gentle with yourself and this podcast is just me talking rubbish okay so it's not supposed to it it's i don't know what it is but this is i've done over 1100 of these believe it or not podcasts anyway and maybe the next 1100 will be also on video i don't
know uh it's the video part isn't so hard it's all the editing and all that stuff you know i'm very the podcast itself takes a lot for the audio then the video that's like probably twice as long on top to get the video sorted don't treat he's doing that he's watching my hand so i don't grab him he hasn't got his collar on so i can't you know if they've got a collar on you can kind of i say grab not in a bad way but like hold the collar and
i can pick him up because i don't i take the collar off him when he's indoors i'll leave it attached to the lead so he's free to just you know have a without having a collar on at all when he's indoors which means i can't i can't i can't trap him to pick him up and the only way i can do it is if he's asleep or if he's on the bed i can pick him up sometimes or if he wants to get onto the windowsill in the bedroom i can
pick him up he lets me do that then but if he thinks i'm picking him up for a reason like to come on video for some reason he doesn't like that i don't know more minnie you need to tidy up this place this place is a mess because of you i didn't i didn't do any of this this is you you have to you have to tidy up don't give me the attitude mate it's like a well he's 14 years old now and he's well he's two so he's 14 this
is a teenager in dog years got an attitude on him and now he's doing that with his hand like stop everyone stop wait stop he's being very oh he thinks i'm gonna try and pick him up he keeps backing away it's weird so weird it's like he acts like i'm gonna hurt him and i don't i never have never would these everything i think everything's a game with him he has to turn it into a game i'm just trying to stroke your head i just want to prove to there's actually
a dog under there rather than i'm pretending there's a dog there because maybe people think oh he's just pretending he's got a dog called vinnie and there's no dog there at all he's just a liar and i can honestly say he never lied it's not true that's not true so i'm gonna go take care lots of love
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.