(No music) #1075 - My beard has run away - Let Me Bore You To Sleep (29th February 2024)

Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep, I hope you're well, my name is yawny man, my name is Jason Newland, please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. I've got two websites, one is jasonnewland.com where all of my recordings are available to download free. I've also got a specific website for this podcast which is called letmeboreyou.com. Oh, excuse me, a lot of gas today, I do apologise.

Oh, I'm a big gas bag, I have to wear heavy boots just so I don't float away, I'm so full of gas. So, what was I going to say, oh that's it, I've said everything. Well, I've been thinking, I know it doesn't happen very often, but occasionally I have a little thought, a little thought pops into my head and I've been thinking, I've spent so much time working on podcasts and, you know, the administration, the processing, the website building, all that stuff.

I put it under the word of administration, admin side of things, that I haven't made a recording for a few days and I think I'd rather just be making recordings than working on websites and stuff because I get a little bit caught up in it all and it takes so long, so much time. For example, I've found about 130 recordings for the Let Me Bore You To Sleep, ones with music that I thought I'd lost.

So, I've been uploading those to the various podcasts I have and it's taken days to upload them, literally, days and days and days.

I'm just about finishing the last few, so I've got about, what's the time now, 9.13am, so by lunchtime they'll all be done, they'll all be uploaded. Now, I've kind of got to the point where the only things, the only podcast, the only two things that I'm really in, oh God, I think I've got a spot on the end of my chin. Ow.

I had a shave, I shaved my hair off and my beard and that's not really relevant to the spot. It might be, I don't know. Sometimes I get the odd dimple and that but if I've got a beard it doesn't show and sometimes it's like an ingrown hair or something so it's not really a spot as such because my skin is too old.

I have too, acne unfortunately doesn't visit me anymore. I say unfortunately because I used to hate acne but not that I used to get bad acne, I used to get spots, I used to get boils. When I was in my early, when I was in my teens, in my early twenties, I'd get the, I'd get spots.

Occasionally I wouldn't get like huge amounts apart from when I was actually a teenager but even then it was just ugh, didn't like them. But that was because of my skin, the oil and all that stuff I guess but and testosterone. I don't have any testosterone anymore so that's all gone.

If anything I think I produce oestrogen and I don't really get the blemishes that I used to get. That's the only good thing about becoming old is not really getting much in the way of spots like I used to. I used to get spots that would just last forever.

Well not forever but seemingly just like just be there for a long time and as I said I used to get boils like but not now thankfully. Oh how horrible. Really just apart from being painful they were just like, they were bigger than my head.

But I guess I'm lucky. I was lucky. So really I've just been thinking about going forward.

What, what, what, what, what, what, what does the future hold now? You know we all know what the future holds to a certain degree but until I get to that point in my life, the inevitable, I would like to, well what would I like to do? What would I like to spend my time focusing on? And I guess there's only two things that I'd really like to do.

Or three things maybe. I'd like to read more.

I'd like to sort of get back into reading and stuff because I used to be an avid reader, a collector of books and I used to get a lot of pleasure from that. So I'd like to get back to that. That was kind of a hobby of mine.

I think I'd still like to travel. I think. I'd definitely like to go to Thailand.

Right back there. But other than those things, I'd like to continue doing this podcast and not so fussed about any of the other podcasts that I've done. Almost feel like just leaving them, leaving them on there and just moving on and kind of incorporating what I want to do within this podcast.

Just focus on one thing. But then I think, hmm, because those three things that I wanted to do, I was really in, kind of three things I started off doing back in 2006. There was the main thing I wanted that I was most interested in was chronic pain relief.

That was the thing that I was mostly interested in. But I also wanted to help. But I was also interested in helping people to relax, stress relief, because I'd, I still was a little bit, but I'd be I'd gone for a really, really difficult few years with anxiety, stress, stuff like that.

Life changing. So in a sense, you know, I lost my job, all kinds of things because of the anxiety that I'd had, and still have sometimes. So I, that was important to me, it felt more personal.

And insomnia, helping people to sleep. Now, apart from occasional times, sleeping is not an issue for me. I find sleeping very easy.

I can go to sleep in the middle of the day, during a thunderstorm. It just doesn't, you know, I'm not saying that it's good deep sleep, but it's still, I realised how, what I had, what I said, I guess, if I could get a whole sentence out, without stumbling over my own tongue, it's because of that gap in my teeth, my teeth, there's a gap now, because I took the tooth out.

And the words are different now.

So before I used to say, I want to go to the shops, and walk to the shops. Now I say, I'm gonna walk to the shop. See, it's just changed the way I talk.

I don't know if you noticed that change. It's a very, very slight. It's very, you know, but you may notice the difference.

So, so, used to be, I'm going to walk to the shop. Now, I'm going to walk to the shop. See, this is subtle, very subtle.

But that that gap in my teeth seems to have caused me to, just a little bit every now and then. So what I think, yeah, so I've been thinking about that. So kind of, I don't know if it is it getting back to basics.

And there's something that I wanted to do. And I thought about this back in 2000. Okay, so I was thinking about making recordings in 2000.

In fact, I made, I did make recordings back in, I made recordings for myself, for trying to help with my anxiety in 2003. You know, recorded on a digital recorder and stuff. But before, so I did a few recordings with that stuff.

And I made a recording in 2004 for my nan to help her with her pain. So, so, so in quite a long time before I even began making recordings for the internet, I'd done a few little bits and bobs. Now, in 2000, I was doing some recording, writing some songs and stuff with my cousin.

And he had a quite a really good setups, very professional, actually. And it's a really decent microphone. So I like played around with it.

And I quite liked it. And it was it was a silly thing. I recorded it was it wasn't serious, but it's like, huh, I wonder.

So I guess it's so it, it gave birth to the seed. And the seed of an idea. And then in 2006, I just kind of thought, yeah, I'll start making recordings.

And I, and I focused on three different things, those three different things I mentioned, chronic pain, relaxation, or chronic pain relief, relaxation, and sleep hypnosis, or insomnia relief. Those were the three different recordings I made, types of recordings, didn't do anything else. That was the only three things I focused on.

And I think if I'd have been doing those recordings in 2003, I'd have been focusing more on the anxiety relief. Because that's where I was, you know, that's what I would have been mostly interested in. But because in 2004, I'd started to focus on chronic pain relief, that was my main focus.

I'd already started free service, helping people with chronic pain relief. And I didn't get many takers for two years, 2006, it kind of kind of relaunched it and it took off. But chronic pain relief was very much the focus.

You know, at that time, that was the thing that I was most interested in, in 2006. However, the most popular recordings I did, were the sleep recordings, the insomnia relief recordings, they were just by far always the most popular ones. And then the relaxation ones.

And then far behind the chronic pain relief ones. Now, that surprised me in such a surprise me so much that my voice went up really high. And I couldn't figure it out.

Because to me, I don't know, I just, I figured that, I don't know, I just I just figured that the I just I don't know what it was, I suppose, because it was what I was interested in helping people with chronic pain. I thought that if I did that, and it was any good people, it would become popular. And people would share it like, listen to this, this really helps.

But now when I think about it, now I'm thinking maybe this wasn't very good. Maybe the pain relief recordings weren't very good, they weren't useful, which is why they didn't become hugely popular. When I say hugely popular, I mean, in comparison to the relaxation sessions, and the sleep recordings.

I mean, on the great scheme of things, nothing I've ever done has been hugely popular. It's just in comparison to each other. That's what I mean.

And so I was a little bit disappointed, because people would contact me and say, Oh, can you do more sleep stuff? Like, no, I wasn't disappointed with that. But I was disappointed that they weren't asking for more pain relief stuff. And I guess maybe the my problem that I caused myself by, if I had just started off with the chronic pain relief, that would have been it, you know, just nothing else.

That's all I'm doing. Then people wouldn't know any different. They wouldn't know that I, perhaps I could do other stuff.

Because I launched the free service online, doing recordings for all three things. Even though there was a huge overlap between all of them. The underlying thing is relaxation.

For all three, especially the relaxation session. Oh, really? Yes. But relaxing for falling asleep.

I remember I used to have on my website, the was it helpwithpain.co.uk? I don't have that anymore. It was relaxation reduces your chronic pain, which is true. Reduce the tension, reduce the stress, reduce the worrying, and the physical sensations also change.

So it's a standard thing, really. It's like changing the temperature of a bath. It can be too hot, and then you can put cold water in, and of course, the temperature of the bath water goes down.

And then there's a point where it's too cool to have as a bath, and you have to put hot water in again. But no matter how much hot water you put in, it doesn't seem to get hot enough again. It's weird.

And hypnosis can be a bit like that, or you don't have to call it hypnosis, you know, just a chronic pain relief session, audio session. It can be a little bit like the hot bath. You start off with a hot bath, which is the pain.

And then the cold water is me talking about absolutely nothing and blah, blah, blah, blah, to the point where the water isn't functioning the way it did before. The heat is not there. And I mean, why would you try to get the heat back? But never mind.

Some people do think that way, because they're used to having it, and they expect to have it, and they like to test. They like to test it. Like, well, if I can get this unpleasant feeling back, you've failed, haven't you? So, you know, some people have that mentality.

And there's also that thing, I understand different ways, different, different angles of thinking. And what I've noticed with people, and with myself as well, when it comes to any condition, whether it's medical, physical, mental, emotional, whatever, when somebody just says, Oh, try this, have you tried this? And my natural response is, of course, I've tried everything, even if it's a lie. I mean, no one's tried everything.

You can't try everything. There's not enough time to try everything. It's like saying, you know, I've eaten every single type of food there is in the world.

Now you haven't, and you never will. It's just not enough time on the planet to do that. Unless, of course, there is.

And therefore, I apologize. But there's also, I've noticed that in myself, when someone says, Oh, you know what, if you try this, when I had my tooth ache thing going on, and a couple of people gave me suggestions about what I can do. And for some reason, it annoyed me.

Isn't it weird? It's like, well, yeah, if you try this, like, no, or yeah, or just like, go away. Even though, is it because on some, maybe I think that they are trying to be right? I don't know. I don't want to be right.

Maybe. It's kind of silly, really, from my perspective. For someone that sort of gives me an idea that might help, then I should be grateful for that.

But I'm not always grateful for it, I'll be honest. And I've noticed that that's how it is sometimes with what I've done in the past. You know, there can be that degree of, well, nah, you know, I've tried everything, that attitude, I've tried everything, I've tried lots of medication, I've had physiotherapy, I've even had operations.

And that hasn't made a difference. So how is listening to you and your weird squeaky voice going to help me? And with that attitude, with that mentality, with that type of thinking, chances are that I might not be as much used to them as maybe I would have been if they were expecting me to be useful. So it's kind of one of those, you know, it's an expectation thing sometimes.

It doesn't have to be. Because I know that I've had enough messages over the years from people saying, I thought it was just going to be a pile of poo. You know, listening to you would be a pile of poo.

There's a poem there somewhere, isn't there? And I didn't think it'd help. But I did it anyway. And it has helped.

Maybe for a sleep recording, I just fell asleep. I don't know why, but I fell asleep. Best sleep I've had in hours.

And it's like, okay. Or people say like, I've had that pain in my shoulder for years. And it just went away whilst you were talking.

And even when I think about listening to you again, it reduces a little bit. And I didn't expect that to happen. Really didn't expect.

In fact, I thought I'd just listen for 10 minutes and then turn it off. But I fell asleep. Maybe.

Now, I've been doing some studies lately on myself. And I've come to the conclusion that our ears still work when we're asleep. So if your ears still work, the sounds going into your ears will still be going into your brain.

Because what else would they do? So if you're listening to 10 hours or 5 hours or however long you're asleep of me talking, and then when the recording's finished, you know, the actual proper hour or so, the first hour, then you've got me giving positive suggestions. And that stuff's going in. It's going in.

Because I quite like the analogy. It's an old analogy that I read on a course I did. And like the unconscious mind is kind of got like security staff in front of the door, you know, like a nightclub almost.

And the only way you can get into nightclub is if you send a security to sleep. And that's kind of what I do, I guess. I send the security to sleep so that the positive suggestions maybe or the ideas maybe that I'm talking about can then enter into nightclub, which is your brain, your unconscious mind.

Whatever you want to call it. I mean, it's whatever it is, your mind, you. And then that could be like the cold water in a hot bath, cooling and calming.

And in a way, if you think about it, it's like there could be a security stopping the fire service from getting into the nightclub to put out a fire. If you think about chronic pain, and the only way to gain access to the nightclub to put out the fire with the hose pipes is to first of all, hose down the security. Which I thought was a bit weird.

But to call, unless the security is standing there, they're very hot as well. So you have to cool them down first. Cool them down first, and then you can then enter.

Because if a fire service go in, they're gonna hose down the entrance. And as they go in, they're gonna be hosing down the sides of the walls as they go in. It's not just gonna walk in to the fire, they're gonna make sure that it's safe for themselves as well.

I didn't realise I was an expert on fire safety. I did actually, when I was in the Sea Cadets. Here we go.

It was almost a sensible podcast and now he's going to be talking about being in the Sea Cadets. We don't believe he was ever in the Sea Cadets. He just makes stuff up as he goes along.

He, my friend, is a liar. 100% liar. I'm not, I'm not.

I was in the Sea Cadets, I was. We learnt about the, something I always remember, always remember, is, oh that's gone. Oh no, I didn't remember it.

Couldn't have been important. Oh yeah, the triangle. So there's a triangle.

And I thought about this. It stuck with me. The triangle.

So what it basically, three things you need for fire. Take one out and the fire doesn't exist. It can't exist.

Heat, fuel and oxygen. That's it, oxygen. Heat, fuel and oxygen.

Air. You take oxygen away, the fire goes out. You take heat away, well listen, you can't have fire without heat, can you? You take the fuel away, you can't have fire.

A fire can't be fire without fuel. So take one of those. So that's the triangle of fire.

And when I do think of that, I think of chronic pain, like the triangle. What do you need for insomnia? A triangle for insomnia. I try and think of what are the things that you need in order to have a particular issue, you know? Did I say only listen when you can safely close your eyes? Did I? I hope so because my eyes are closed now and I could easily, easily fall asleep right now.

You know, it's partly annoying. I need to turn my laptop off when I'm doing these recordings because all I've got coming up is emails telling me about money that I owe and bills I have to pay. It's like, come on man, give me a rest.

Anyway. I, oh yeah, the triangle. The triangle.

As if I think about the triangle for chronic pain. I mean, it might be a different shape. I don't know all the shapes, to be honest with you.

I realise I should. I did go to school. I know a square and I know a circle.

Oblong. Triangle. Hexagon, is it? Hexagon.

Yes, that's about it. Circumference, is it? What's that one where you, oh no, it's like a ruler but it's like circular. Is that a circumference thing? I forget.

There's a part of me that would like to study mathematics and see if I really am unintelligent or I just wasn't, I didn't get taught the way that was best suited for my brain. Because, I'll be honest, I understand fractions now. I didn't really understand them when I was, I understood like half, quarter and a whole.

That was about it really. And I still do struggle a little bit with odds when it comes to betting. I don't really bet but I don't gamble.

But occasionally I've thought about doing it with some boxing or something. I look at it and there's like 3 to 1. I understand that. 10 to 1. I understand that.

You put a pound on or a dollar or whatever and you get 10 back. You get 11 back including your stake. So I get that.

So anything to 1, I get. It's like 100 to 1. You get 100 back plus your stake of 1. So if you put down 10, 10 pounds, you get 100 pounds back. No.

Yeah, 10 to 1. If you put 10 pounds on, you get 100. Or if it's 100 to 1, you get 1000 plus the 1 pound stake. No, the 10 pound stake, sorry.

So I understand that. 2 to 1. 1 to 2. So it's basically 50 pence you're going to get, isn't it? So, or $50. So if you put a pound, a dollar down on a 2 to 1 for them to win, the person to win.

So if the person wins, if you put a dollar down, you'll get, you'll win 50 cents or 50 pence or whatever. You put $2 down, you win a dollar plus your stake. Now, I would never, not that I bet, but occasionally I have very occasionally and I would never bet on anything that wasn't at least 5 to 1.

Because I don't know, unless it's unless it's a dead cert, like 100%, you know, it's gonna, I mean, I give I think the only dead cert I would say ever would have been in boxing that I would have bet if I had money at the time, which I didn't, but if I had, I would have bet everything.

And it was when Mike Tyson beat Trevor Burbick for the world title. Now, the odds would have been stacked in Mike Tyson's favor anyway. But, you know, if you've got a million quid, you could probably, I probably, if I'd have put a million pound down on Tyson winning, I probably still would have only won about 50 grand.

You know, maybe 100 grand or something, you know, it was just, it was, the odds were so ridiculous. But 50 grand still, still 50 grand, isn't it, you know, even if you do have to put a stake up of a million, but if you know it's a dead cert, which the only way Mike Tyson was going to lose that fight against Trevor Burbick in 1986 was if I don't know, I don't, I can't even imagine how he could lose if his arms fell off or something.

I don't know.

That's about it. I suppose if he's been disqualified, because back in them days, he used to have something to eat before the fight. Later on in his career, he'd go into the ring hungry.

Ask Evander Holyfield. So I, you know, it's like, Mikey, baby, have a sandwich before you get in the ring. Blimey.

See, it doesn't happen to the lower weights. They never eat each other's ears or body parts. They don't.

The reason for that is, well, it's unsportsmanlike, apparently. But secondly, the lower weights, and I'm talking every weight lower than heavyweight, is they dehydrate themselves so much to get down to the weight that they're supposed to be. And they get weighed the day before.

And then, so someone that's naturally walking around at 200 pounds, for example, or 180 pounds will come in at 164 pounds. That'll be their weight for the boxing. So they've lost loads of weight to come in.

So they're hungry, haven't eaten properly for days, you know, and they're just to get themselves down to the weight. And as soon as they get off the scales, you see them, actually, they get handed a plate of food. Like, as they get off the scales, and they're eating and eating and eating for the rest of the day.

And all through the night and the next the next day, and they turn up like 100 pounds heavier. That's an exaggeration, but they like sometimes a stone and a half heavier than they were a day before, which is very unhealthy. But heavyweights don't need to do that, because they can eat and eat and eat, and there's no restriction to how heavy they can be.

There's a restriction to how light they can be. They have to be at least a certain weight, I'm not sure what it is, 14 stone or 13 stone eight or something. And then they can be a heavyweight.

But once they're like, if they're walking around at 17 stone, they haven't got to worry about, you know, knocking any weight off or dehydrating themselves just to hit a certain weight. None of that stuff. But the point is, there's no reason for them to be hungry.

That's basically the point I'm making. But because they can eat, but at the same time, the reason perhaps they are hungry is because they're not doing what the lower weights are doing, which is eating continuously. Since getting weighed the day before, all they're doing is eating.

Because they're hungry, so, so hungry. And they have to eat. And they just eat.

And you see them sometimes walking into the ring, and bits of food are just falling off of their face. I saw one bloke, he had a beard, and he had a bit of chicken sticking out of his beard, seriously. It was like with the bone and everything, it was like he just, like he thought what he has doesn't know it's there.

And then as he was walking towards the ring, he started eating it. He did, he did, he did. Honestly, it didn't happen at all, didn't.

I don't know about the beard thing, it's because I've done that, when I've had a big beard. I'm amazed at the stuff that hides in there. Seriously, amazed.

I remember I went to the petrol station, and, what else was it, yeah, because there's a bloke in there with a beard, so we kind of, I call him Mr. Beardy Man. Well anyway, his girlfriend was in there, his partner was in there. And I said, where's your boyfriend? I haven't seen him for days.

I haven't seen him for like all week. And she shouted at me, he's in your beard, he's in your beard, he's hiding. Like all week he's been hiding in my beard, I couldn't believe it.

He was like peeking through. I think they'd had an argument or something. He, I don't know, he did the washing up and she was unhappy.

I don't know what it was. And it had nothing to do with him not satisfying her because he kept telling me throughout the whole, you know, I kept hearing, I didn't know it was him. I didn't know it was him, I kept hearing the voice like, I do satisfy her, I do.

I'm a great lover. And I thought, that's my unconscious mind. Sounds a bit like the bloke from the garage, petrol station, but yeah, Beardy Man.

I didn't think my inner voice would start sounding like him, but hey, never mind, I'm not going to question it. Yeah, I am a good lover, I am. And it's been about three decades since I last, you know, but anyway, let's, let's not, let's not focus on that.

And yeah, that was weird. I'm not sure what I was talking about. And I ended up talking about a beard and a man from the petrol station hiding in my beard for a week, hiding from his girlfriend.

But I don't remember why and how I got to that. Something to do with having a beard. Oh, yeah.

Some, sometimes, sometimes, because at the moment I don't have a beard, but when my beard gets big, I do use a brush to brush through it. I find a horse brush is the best thing to do. Why that? By that I don't mean a brush made of horse, because that would be weird.

And you can't have it as a, like, oh, you mean it's just in the shape of a horse? No. How would a brush work if it's in the shape of a horse? That's strange. But it was what that would be a weird thing to do.

And no, it's just a brush that you use on horses. So I use that for my beard. And I finish, I'd hear lots of clankering and lots of noises as I'm doing it.

And I'm thinking, neighbours are really, really noisy today, as I was brushing my beard. And then I'm finished. And I go to go into the living room and I trip up.

All this stuff's on the floor. An old television, a pizza, an old bike, satellite dish from 1987. And there was a piece of paper, big piece of paper.

It was folded. So I picked it up. And it said, Dear Jason, just for future reference, I think you've overdone the beard thing.

That stuff being stuck in your beard. And it was okay. It was mildly humorous, maybe just about with the man from the petrol station hiding in your beard.

But you pushed it a little bit too far on this one. I think you've started to say, you know, that a washing machine fell out and the, you know, a Christmas tree and Noah's Ark. It gets a bit silly.

This is supposed to be a serious recording to help people to fall asleep. You know, it's supposed to be a therapeutic recording. And telling silly stories about a beard, I don't think is very professional.

And I thought, okay. And that was dated the 4th of August 1973. So that was a bit weird date.

But then I found another letter right at the bottom of the pile dated the 4th of September 1973. As I opened it up, it said, Sorry about the last letter, Jay. I was in a bit of a mood.

I think it's great that you tell these stories about your beard. You should carry on. Crack on mate.

It's, you know, life is too short. You really should just have fun if you can. Maybe they had a serious day and they just want to have a little bit of time where things aren't quite so serious.

And it is nice to have a break from that. And if hearing you talking about being in the Sea Cadets, I mean, no one believes you was in the Sea Cadets. Actually, I was in the Sea Cadets.

Don't interrupt me when I'm writing. Sorry. That's okay.

No one believes she was in the Sea Cadets. And okay, maybe someone does. Just in case you think that they do.

But it doesn't matter. It's not really about whether or not you was in the Sea Cadets or whether or not you worked in a chip shop or whether or not you enjoy watching boxing. It's not really about that.

It's just, I guess, kind of a distraction from whatever someone is listed just going in their mind. Maybe it's nice to have that break, you know, that distraction, I guess. I know I'm saying the word distraction quite a lot in this letter, but it's a new word I learned today.

I got a dictionary as a present for my birthday. I'm only three. This is me sending you a message.

I'm only three years old. I mean, why would someone give you a dictionary at three? A crap present. I want an action man or a topless calendar, page three calendar.

So I would say keep going. Keep doing what you're doing. It's not going to be for everyone, but nothing's for everyone.

Nothing. It's a case of those that like what you do. Well, listen, those that don't won't.

It's quite a poem-y sentence. So just don't worry about it. You know, I know I was a bit harsh in my last letter, but just don't worry.

It's fine. I'm getting older now. I'm nearly four.

And it's, you know, it's a bit mature now. And I realized perhaps I was a little bit harsh in the last letter. Okay.

So you take care. Lots of love. And oh yeah, remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy.

Bye. Okay, cool. So, um, I thought, well, I better tidy all the mess up on the floor.

So I'm getting through it. And there's a bow and arrow and all the stuff that fell out of my beard, just to remind you. Not sure why that was in there.

Now I'd have preferred to have an evil Knievel itself because remember those? Anyone? Anyone have one of those? Basically, evil Knievel would be on a little bike. It wouldn't be life-size because how could you play with a life-size evil Knievel? Unless, well, as a kid, I mean, like, it'd be impossible. You'd have to get all your friends around to push the bike backwards because that's what you had to do.

Push it backwards and then it would wind up and then it would go forward and you could do stunts and stuff. Anyway, um, that wasn't in the pile. I was a little bit disappointed.

I'd have been quite happy. I'd have been very happy. I probably would have written a short story about it.

That's how happy I would have been. But I played with it first for about an hour. Then got bored realising it was for kids.

But you know, initially the excitement probably would have been there. So I'm cleaning the rest of this stuff up, putting it into a black bag or a few black bags because, I mean, the washing machine took quite, you know, I had to break that up. I had to melt it down.

Luckily I've got a melting pot in the kitchen. I don't have a melting pot that I can melt a washing machine. What am I talking about? Luckily in my garden is a volcano.

So I'm moving, I'm getting rid of all this stuff. I'm still going with this. I'm still, you know, and just get near the end and I see a corner of an envelope.

Like, what's that? It was an envelope, obviously. I'll just let you know that. But I didn't realise what it was at the time until I picked it up.

But I can't sport a surprise because I've already told you it was a corner of an envelope. Ruined the party again. That happened once before, you know.

There was this lady, she invited loads of people around. A friend of mine, she invited loads of her friends, including me, around and cooked us all dinner. And she said, when everyone had had their food, she sort of, you know, hit a glass with the spoon and said, I've got an announcement, everyone.

You're not going to believe this. I said, you're pregnant. And she said, yes.

And for some reason, not everyone was very pleased with me. I didn't really get it. I mean, they were going to find out within about 30 seconds.

I mean, it just jumped out of my mouth. I didn't mean it to. You're pregnant.

Like, it was that. It wasn't even like, I wonder if she's pregnant. I think I might mention it.

Should I mention it, though? Probably not, because she looks like she's about to make an announcement. And maybe she wants to tell everyone herself because it's about her and it's her life. And it's not really about you, JJ, Uncle JJ, Auntie JJ, is it? But no, it's like, she's pregnant.

You're pregnant. And that was it. So yeah.

So I pick up this envelope. I'm thinking, anyway, open it up. You can't not really open up an envelope, can you? I mean, you can't not, you cannot.

But you also can. And I mean, I suppose you could say you can't if it's made of metal and it's soldered together. Letter in the iron mask or whatever, you know, like, okay, fair enough.

But the iron envelope, but I was like, it wasn't, it was just paper. So I opened it. And it was dated.

It was quite late date. It was more recent. It was dated like 4th of January.

This year 2024. That was a postage date. I don't remember this getting delivered.

So I opened it up and said, Dear Jason, I can't believe you stole my message that I said to you at the last letter. Saying that at the end of the recording, like it's your own. Remember to be kind to yourself.

That came from me. You don't tell anyone though, do you? No, no, no, no. It's like you're the only one.

You say that. And I mean, let's face it. You might as well just be copying Jerry Springer.

Take care of yourselves and each other. I'm not happy with you. By the way, I'm now in my fifties.

I'm not happy with anything right now. So other than that, I wish you well. Take care.

And I'm not going to say be kind to yourself. What I will say to you is be gentle with yourself. Okay.

Be gentle. Lots of love. Bye.

And then there's a PTO at the bottom of the page. It turns over. I've just listened to one of your more latest recordings before I sent this.

You're saying that as well. Be gentle with yourself. You're copying me before I've even said it.

This is just ridiculous. It's almost like we're the same person. Say something original.

I'm not sure what to do now. That's what I'm going to do next, isn't it? I like to put thought into what I do. I just I'm not really an acting on automatic kind of person.

So much these days. Whether it's the computer stuff or just the processes, you know, the going down food, walking to work, walking back, all that stuff, because I'm not in that situation. I give thought to a lot of stuff I'm going to do, like deciding what do I do next instead of.

So when I was working, that would be decided for me. I had to be at work for nine o'clock, for example. So it wasn't a case of it's 830.

What do I do next? I knew what I did next. It was go to the toilet or if I'm on the way to work. You know, I'm halfway on the way to work.

I wasn't thinking, what do I do next? Because I knew what I did next. I was halfway to work. I jumped in the bushes and get undressed and run around for 10 minutes.

You know, it's, you know, it's planned. It was like, this is what I did every day and it's normal. What the hell am I talking about today? Nope.

I haven't taken anything weird. Don't worry. I did have a cup of coffee.

Mind you, that was hours ago. It's now 10, 12 minutes past 10am and I had a cup of coffee about half four. Which is weird because it still feels like I've got coffee in me.

But I haven't. I really haven't. Or I don't have coffee in me.

No. So, here was the idea. Here was the idea.

The original idea that I had for making podcasts. Okay. Okay, I'm not sure.

No, it wasn't the original. It was kind of the original idea, but then after I started, this is what I wanted to do, but I couldn't figure out how to do it. And I made a few attempts.

The first attempt was the HypnoChats. The second attempt was the Hypnotic Buffet. And the third attempt was Healing Words.

Okay, so they were all attempts at kind of incorporating everything into one recording. So that you could listen to me talking, but at the same time, you know, if you wanted to listen to fall asleep, you could. If you wanted to reduce stress and tension, you can.

If you, and other things as well, whatever, it's a mixture of different things, like a one-stop shop thing. And I'll be honest, that's what I still want to do. If I could just do one thing, one recording a day, but have it be beneficial to people that have chronic pain issues, anxiety and stress issues, as well as insomnia and sleep issues.

If I can help that, and even people that want to stop smoking or want to do whatever, if I could have it all encompassed into one recording, then that would be kind of like a perfect scenario for me. Because then I could focus on just doing the one recording a day, and perhaps even, in my own little way, preparing for it, kind of slightly, very slightly. I mean, I generally don't prepare.

The only thing I prepare is, I've got a bottle of water next to me, that's about it. Sometimes I wear clothes, you know, just general stuff. Sometimes, if it's going to be a long session, and I know that I'm going to be sitting here for quite a while, I will sometimes loosen my chastity belt.

So yeah, just let me know what you think. So I'm going to go. Thank you for listening.

Remember to be kind to yourself, because you deserve to be happy. Lots of love. You deserve to be happy.

Be gentle with yourself, see if I remember that one as well. Bye.