(no music) #1088 To Youtube or not to Youtube - Let Me Bore You To Sleep - (25th March 2024)

Hello and welcome to stiff neck that's what I've got today or slept on it funny that's what people say isn't it I must have slept on it wrong why do you sleep on your neck first of all you should be sleeping on a bed but just I normally sleep on my whole body I don't just sleep on one part and it's oh my neck anyway it's a little bit stiff and at my age I'm happy for anything to be stiff blimey so hello welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep

my name is Jason Newland and I've got itchy chest please only listen when you can safely close your eyes Let Me Bore You To Sleep that's the name of the game for me to really just bore you and I've come to the conclusion after many years that this is what I'm going to focus on going forward I'm going to focus on making sure that I look lovely and I'm focus on I'm going to focus on these recordings and my YouTube video channel as opposed to my YouTube chocolate eating channel I

don't know my YouTube channel is going to be Let Me Bore You To Sleep that's it and everything I do going forward is going to be Let Me Bore You To Sleep yeah so um it's not that I'm not going to do anything else you know it's just a case of I think I need to focus focus on one thing and that's it good boy interrupt me again good boy my little Vinnie yeah that's it I mean we were only out about an hour ago and now he's he did a

poo did the wee-wees I don't think he needs to go out I really don't so I started making the Let Me Bore You To Sleep podcasts more regularly trying to do one every day and I think I'm going to just make videos as well at the same time now I would say they're probably going to be the least edited videos on on the on the on the line on the line online in the universe of webs by the way just let you know there's uh going to be noise in the

background because the only time I can really make these as video is during the day when there's light otherwise I do have some lights or three four lights but they're very very hot and they buzz so and also in the evening there's sound as well people in the garden shouting and stuff so if it's if it annoys you then just you know I guess turn it off it's not going to be every time I mean there's going to be times when it's fairly quiet if I'm making a recording and there's

uh I don't know the council come around to to mow the lawn it's not a euphemism and maybe then I'll perhaps stop the recording or pause the recording until they're finished but they don't normally take long really I'm recording the podcast at the same time so you can see on the on the screen it's my uh microphone and also you might notice that I don't necessarily always look into the camera because I can't be bothered really I just want to just do the podcast in the way that I would normally

do it so it's still personal it's still but you know I don't really enjoy being on film you know I don't like seeing myself so I will do the most minimal editing possible you know cut out farts and burps and swears as it gives us the occasional swear which I will edit out that's usually when Vinnie starts barking and I'm like you know or some stupid maybe there's a human making noise and it's just like oh but yeah it's just the way it is it's not really much I can do

about that uh I can't I can't just move away somewhere quiet because because because because because of the wonderful things it does I can't just do that anyway so I'm feeling quite tired I need a nap that's what I need I need it and my stomach's grumbling I just had my breakfast so there's no reason for my stomach to be grumbling unless it's turning into poo that could be what's happening it's the poo process so I might have to take a break at some point it's kind of like a KitKat

break but instead of putting something that looks like chocolate into my mouth or into what is it what is it what is it what is it Vinnie so yeah and this is me anyway um I think this is like 1086 or 1087 out of these podcasts so uh it's quite a high number really isn't it got itchy head now I'm sweating a little bit I've had to close the windows and I've got the heating on so I think it's a little bit too warm in here but it's cold outside so

uh so yeah itchy beard now I'm just one big itch itch itch itch that's what I is I'm an itchy itchy itchy itchy I could really go to sleep you know when your eyes are just like oh and you want to close them and perhaps you can't close them because well if you're watching a video you don't want to close them because you don't want to miss the action the super fast energetic excitement but you're kind of safe with me because you can close your eyes and I think after looking

at my face for a few minutes when you close your eyes your whole body and brain thanks you it's very grateful that you're like it's no longer having to look at me and to to really to congratulate you or to reward you for closing your eyes your brain sends a signal of relaxation throughout your body causing your mind to slow down and just your body to become a bit more floppy and that's why sometimes I will let my eyes close when I'm talking because it's weird because I don't realize I

do it but when I'm talking into the microphone making a podcast I do often have my eyes closed I look around maybe but sometimes I let my eyes closed sometimes I do have the laptop open because I'll be looking yeah looking at something doing some research but I can't do that now because there's no I'll have to rearrange the desk in order to have my laptop there right in front of me I mean this is a way of doing it I've no doubt but I could probably put the camera over

there move forward move the recording studio which is for the audio to the right put the camera back next to the recording studio aiming it here and have the laptop on the table see I sorted it out however I can't do that right now you know can't do it right this second so what's in the news nope don't talk about the news on this recording so I'm gonna do an introduction yeah this is going to be an introduction to Let Me Bore You To Sleep for those that have never ever

listened or watched a Let Me Bore You To Sleep over the last six years I've been doing it Vinnie's now playing with his little ball he's got this little soft ball that like squishes and he loves it he loves it he's now playing with it yeah and what is this Let Me Bore You To Sleep well what it was originally what it was originally it was going to be a mixture of relaxation or sleep hypnosis mixed with me talking about you know my life and about stuff and that is kind

of how it started in fact the very first recording pretty much was just a relaxation session that I didn't really discuss anything about myself really could fall asleep the weird thing about it is every time I close my eyes I become more relaxed and it's harder to open my eyes again because I don't kind of want to but when I do open my eyes it's a little bit more awake and I get tired again I want to close my eyes and then it's to go deeper it's uh it's okay if

I wasn't trying to do something which is you know this recording that wasn't me that was Vinnie who flapped his ears doing that I can't do I couldn't if with my neck I couldn't do it I couldn't do it anyway but you know I remember when I was younger when I was probably in my 20s I was so angry so angry at times and I'd get up in the morning and I'd be like shaking my head and that sounds a bit weird but um and I'd end up with a sore

neck that's the whole story and that is kind of an example of what this is it's just it's kind of pointless okay in a sense of I'm not here to educate anyone I'm not to teach anything yeah we know what educate means really I've got to say it twice and do different ways okay fair enough okay but I'm not oh I don't know I'm it's just I think it might be the t-shirt I washed it and it's a little bit itchy on me I think I might have um oh oh

man I I got muddled up between the itching powder and the washing powder again oh no no wonder so itchy and when I poured the itching powder and down my friend's shirt no wonder he just said like oh it feels really comfy and smells nice my shirt like so it felt it smells so fresh almost like it's been washed now it makes sense so what is this podcast what is this video what is this ting that I'm doing I mean the initial intention was to create something can you make a

bit more noise please Vinnie thank you the initial initial whenever I say can you make a bit more noise he always does anyway he um blimey he wasn't even alive when I first started doing this he's only just turned two two at the end of last month so wow can you believe it still a baby really he's not really I mean he's a teenager I guess technically if if if dogs really do have like four what seven years to our one year then he's a teenager and he's very very annoying

at the moment started barking at other dogs especially bigger dogs which is most dogs to be honest because he's quite little he's whining he moans he whines he barks he knows I'm talking about him he's got his little eyebrows that were constantly in a threat a frown not around a frown what what what is it you want okay mate okay okay I picked him up there you go want to say hello all right so I picked him up I don't know I pick him up until he wants to get off

he doesn't like being held normally but you never know he might fall asleep you're gonna fall asleep you wanna say hello hello hello say hello no hey say hello Vinnie hello Vinnie hello Vinnie he doesn't like being on camera hey Vinnie Vinnie Vinnie Vinnie Vinnie Vinnie Vinnie Vinnie you say hello you say hello no baby leave me alone notice how he's got a little love heart on the end of his nose hey look at that he's got a love heart in his nose hey hey you're the cutest little thing in

the world five percent of the time you are cute his little ears one is sticking up one's flapping down hey he did a funny fart earlier what's that gonna start barking blimey please don't is he gonna fall asleep sometimes okay he's got off now at least you got to see what he looks like anyway he doesn't like being on camera I've tried to think like how can I have him on here the whole time and I would literally have to have some kind of high stool chair thing for him to

be sitting on and I would need a lead attached to something so he couldn't get out so he'd like be stuck there and that's probably not very pleasant for him you know I just think he should better just do whatever he wants to do so if he doesn't want to be on camera then he's not on camera I think if I was if I was filming from a distance let's say I was filming if I was sitting on a chair the reclining chair over there and I had this camera set

up to film me from a distance then you'd be able to see him laying on my legs because that's what he likes to do so you'd see him all the time he'd be there pretty much every time but I don't have that set up and it would be I'd be quite a long way away I mean the further away the better some may argue you know but the you know I'm not sure how it would work so the original thing because I started doing sleep relaxation podcasts and videos I did

a lot of videos on YouTube and you know many many many many years ago I think my first YouTube channel was 2007 and before that I was putting them onto Myspace and then Facebook so it's kind of you know Facebook and YouTube seem to have popped up around the same time in my memory might not be true but I think so and I used to upload videos quite regularly for many years many years and and something I wanted to do right from the beginning is to do one thing that kind

of encompassed everything that I wanted to do to do something that would help people whether they were regardless of their need you know therapeutically maybe if they needed to relax more or to feel more confident or to reduce chronic pain or to sleep easier or to quit doing something a habit they don't want to do you know it's the list is it's pretty endless to be honest and I quite like the idea of doing one thing one recording one video maybe and not just a one-off ever but like a series

like a regular one of those things which would then could then be used and for those that listen or watch regularly they notice that changes start to occur and maybe they notice that they're feeling more confident and things that used to hold them back don't hold you back anymore as much and you're more relaxed and sleeping is easier and chronic pain conditions are less than what they were and just things like that but comes from almost from an intention in my mind wishing you well wishing you to feel more relaxed

wishing for more comfort for you physically and emotionally mentally and I could never really really figure out how to do that and I used to do a thing called Hypno Chats well no the first one was Healing Words which was a kind of similar thing where I'll just talk another one was and it's quite positive but it was very positive the next one was a series I did in about 2000 and when I'm going back further I started off doing Jason Chats and I used to do a thing basically I

used to do video updates even in the late 2000s so from two well from 2006 2007 all the way up to about 2009 or 2008 2009 and then I do them sporadically and then I decided to give them a name and I thought well I'm going to do more of these and they're vlogs it's just me talking about my life and talking about having bipolar and stuff like that and I thought okay and I was at university as well doing a counselling course a counselling degree so I thought well I'll

talk about what's going on it's a few things going on so maybe maybe you know I don't know just maybe something it'll be worth it it'll be useful or interesting or fun and at the time around 2000 and yeah about 2009 10 11 vlogging was really big on YouTube like huge it was one of the biggest things on YouTube outside of cat videos and stuff like that vlogging people just just the average person talking about their life and they were popular now mine were never popular they yeah they were all

right got a few views but nothing nothing like a wall you know nothing wow it was all right and I was doing hypnosis recordings at the same time like separate different recordings but I noticed that I enjoyed doing the Jason chats more than doing the hypnosis recordings maybe it's because I was talking about myself my favorite subject so perhaps it's just a narcissistic thing and although some people liked watching them they told me they like watching them some people started moaning saying I was spending more time doing the Jason chats

than making the hypnosis stuff and this is on YouTube and I discovered a conversation online well it was a I don't know where it was I think this is before Twitter even existed maybe not no did Twitter exist it might have done but it was it was basically a conversation thread and someone was talking about me saying oh he doesn't he just wants to make videos about himself now doesn't want to doesn't want to help anyone anymore no and I felt a little bit sad about that because that wasn't really

how I was feeling you know and so I kind of I deleted probably most of my Jason chat videos I still got quite a few of them saved but they're not online and then probably really didn't do much in the way of Jason chat videos for years I didn't do much in the way of YouTube for years to be honest and but I was still doing my podcasts and that's what I focused on so up to 2018 it was all about the podcasts I don't think I really did much in

a way of new videos did a few but you know I'd already deleted my channel back in 2013 I think and or 14 and that was it you know so I didn't really put a lot of effort into it YouTube at all with the new channel and then I started posting the occasional Jason chats just to sort of like there's an update hello everybody I'm still around and I mean I'm still around although I am still around but I'm still a round person and I was talking about what was going

on talking about Andre my ferret talking about just things you know just general things and somebody they posted on YouTube or maybe they sent a message saying you know what I listen to your Jason chat videos and they always send me to sleep I feel really relaxed when you're talking I just fall asleep because they're so boring like a bit rude but also a compliment at the same time a rude compliment is what they call a backhanded compliment but it's like well what's that on there that's hairs from him he's

he's um I don't know what flaking I don't know what's the term flaking or whatever shedding and he's blimey all these ginger hairs all over me and he's Prince Harry's biggest fan he is he said I said why he said us gingers are got to stick together I thought that was so rude you can't say stuff like that he said I can say what I want I'm a dog okay I used to be ginger that was born ginger and there's a ginger gene it's quite it missed a generation and I've

got three cousins that've got ginger kids it's like that none none of us um even my friend downstairs he was ginger when he was a kid I've seen a picture of him he's like wow him there I think you see behind me I've got his uh picture of him there actually from his memorial thing um what are you hassling me for man what are you hassling me for man what do you want what do you want Vinnie Minnie Liminally so I thought okay so that was kind of like that was

when I started looking at maybe I'll do a maybe I'll do like a vlog but previous to that I'd already tried to do the kind of a mixture of a vlog and a hypnosis relaxation slash fall in a sleep sort of you know videos and called the first ones are called j um hypno chats you know jason chats but we hit matches so hypno chats and I did I did about 20 or 30 of them and I used to record them when I was waiting for clients when I was counseling

back in 2000 and and 11 2012 time and the lighting was really good so the picture was pretty good well it was pretty good compared to normal if you know I mean but then the sound was awful they I was I was recording it on the current iphone at the time which you know going back 2011 it was probably I don't know what what iphone that would be but yeah it wasn't wasn't perfect it's very echoey very echoey and I also released them as podcasts as well and so I did

that for a while and then I think I might have done healing words after that so I did I did a few of those and then I did hypnotic buffet I think about 24 of those or 30 of them and that was over a few years period so and they were all kind of very similar uh with the hypnotic buffet it was a mixture of just discussing ideas and and the I really the yeah it was it was kind of like I was saying to people here's here's a buffet here's

is a lots of different ideas you can maybe choose you can you know with a buffet you can just taste different things and you know you take a bite out of a sandwich and if you don't like it just put it back don't you know or if it's sausage roll take a bite out of it and just just spit it back on the plate and put it back yeah it's normal like being at a wedding I've been banned from every wedding I've ever been to kicked out of everyone I can't

figure out why um but yeah you can taste and you're like oh I like that I didn't know I liked it it's a nice fit I think I'm gonna go with that I'm happy about that you know kind of thing so I did that for a while I liked them but they weren't very popular you know I've got I've got them all on podcast he's got his own podcast as has the hypnotic uh jason uh hypnochats they've got his own podcast healing words he's got his own podcast and they really

haven't had much traffic at all which is weird you know when they're on YouTube the first time they did all right but as a podcast not so much so between 2015 or 14 and 2018 my podcasts really started to grow and things were going quite well I mean I say what quite well I was getting a couple hundred thousand plays a year and in the final year I might have been 250 and I was pleased with that because before that I probably wouldn't have got more than about 100,000 plays of

my podcasts uh in a year so I like okay it's really good and so this was in 2000 and beginning of 2018 so what I did is I started a new podcast this one Let Me Bore You To Sleep and I also expanded on some of the other podcasts and I started using a different podcast host called Spreaker and I didn't bother with YouTube just really didn't bother with it at all just focused on the podcasts making new podcast episodes uh the Let Me Bore You To Sleep was the main

one out of all of them really for me and suddenly the podcast it just it became you know I was getting more listens basically and I think on Spreaker I've not been on speaker for nearly a year really I've still I'm still on there but my main podcast now on SoundCloud which where they used to be Spreaker decided I couldn't have podcasts with any background sound like music or anything and some of my most popular podcast episodes are the one the 10-hour ones with background music so you know I just

had to kind of change things up a bit now this is October is I think August I don't know September I can't it's a while back anyway I I've still got my podcasts that are on Spreaker just just calm yourself mate seriously I'm trying to do record and try and make a video whining so not only are you annoying me with the podcast you're now annoying me with a video as well what there's some food over there why don't you eat that I think you might have worms I know I

have I haven't got worms I don't know why I said that I said the weirdest thing worms but he's suddenly got a bit of a hunger he's been a bit more hungry a bit more in here a bit more hungry lately he's just looking at me like why are you talking like that why are you talking like that daddy mr man constantly frowning like it's just his natural because of his eyebrows he just looks like he's and he's got this crease down his head it's just his head just but he's

just because he's a Jack Russell and it just looks like he's frowning like he's like disappointed in me so brilliant it's like being married that look of disappointment 24 hours a day brilliant so up to now with the Spreaker well when it went actually when it ended well I'm still with them but when um I get hardly any views on Spreaker now because most of them come from SoundCloud but I had uh 14 million downloads or 14 million listens rather um downloads or listens plays it's 14 million plays since March

2018 until about September last year so compared to the 200,000 a year which I was pleased really pleased with before it's a bit better and now it's hard to figure out what I'm averaging but I normally do I get about 10 10,000 a day 10,000 plays a day throughout the different podcasts maybe more sometimes less so it's about 300,000 a year a month which is about it could be more I don't know but you know at least probably at least 300,000 a month which is like three thousand six hundred thousand

six million three million a hundred million so and some people like why I do talk about my stats sometimes and the fact is if you do something like this you're going to be interested in the stats like I'm not making any money and if you had a business probably the main thing you would be interested in even though you know you're doing everything else is at the end of the day what's in that till what money have you had come in I'm starting this if you've got a shop that is

but it's part of the thing isn't it like how many like a YouTube video how many views is a video getting this video probably has had three views but and that's something that I've struggled with as well with YouTube over the years because I'll make this video and maybe it might take me a week to get like 20 views or something when I'll post it on the podcast and I'll have hundreds of views within an hour or so hundreds of plays and it's just like you know it's it's I feel

like a failure on YouTube I do that's that's when I have felt like a bit of a failure and it's not that I feel like a success on on the podcasts but I know that I've got a strong I don't want to use the word fan base but I've got uh people that like what I do and they've shown me that I like what they do and they're loyal I got very very that my listeners uh I think are the best listeners in the world best best podcast listeners in the

world and they're great and they keep coming back and listening for some reason I can't quite figure it out and out of all the stuff I've done this even though like if you're watching it and you probably you might or even listening to it for the first time you might be thinking why would anyone listen to this if you listen to yesterday's podcast it was brilliant well maybe it changed each each one's different it's harder don't ever get a dog why couldn't I have a dog that was quiet and just

normal why are you hassling me why are you hassling me then why are you hassling me hey he wants to play he wants a play fight I wish there was a way of seeing it so I could like play with him and he could bite my hand and you could see it because it's it's funny it's kind of you know you couldn't have a car chase or something like that it's action it's adventure maybe so I started the podcast really seriously please I started the podcast to let me body sleep

podcast in I think it was March around this time literally around this time of the month 2018 so six years ago and it just started off with me doing a hypnosis relaxation session it wasn't even hypnosis it was just a relaxation session and then over time over a few recordings it started to become more personal started to become I don't know it took a while I would say and it's almost like I found my voice oh there you are I don't mean like that but I was walking around and then

one day hi everyone I found my voice no it's I just I don't know I can just be me and I could be me on the podcast and I don't know if I can be me on the YouTube video that's the thing I want to be able to just be myself without um without self-criticism without embarrassment or without judging myself and when I do a podcast I never I mean apart other than the editing process once I've edited it I don't listen to the whole thing to edit it I've got

techniques that I can figure out which bits I need to edit out and I don't ever listen to it again you know it's gone it's done once I've done a recording that's done I don't I don't listen to it so sometimes people will like send a comment like oh I like the one where you talked about the frog the frog um and the princess no that was a book I read no and the I don't know like the the sticky glove whatever I don't know whatever the story was and I

was like I don't remember talking about a sticky glove but I don't want to say that really because it's like I kind of should know what I've talked about but I don't have a script or nothing obviously I mean you can tell that by the way otherwise it'd be some kind of construction some kind of coherence perhaps in the recording you know plus you'd hear me turning the pages so I don't have a script I don't know what I'm going to say before I say it I don't even when I've

finished recording and I usually don't edit the audio until the next day I edit early in the morning by then not only have I forgotten what I talked about I've also forgotten so like I don't know what to give what title to give it and then so I'll start editing it editing it in the morning with the video I don't know maybe if I make the recording earlier in the day then I can edit it later in the day because I need to edit the audio first unless I just use

the audio from the from the camera rather than sync the edit the audio from the microphone I don't know but I'll still have to I need to edit the video briefly and I'm talking minimal minimal editing because that would be it and this is long form it's like you know so far it's 50 minutes and I haven't said hardly a thing in fact I went onto this editing software online called what was it called this discrete this do this this this something des anyway basically what it can what it does

and it said would you like us to do a magic AI thing and I thought okay just test it out uploaded an audio recording you can do the same in videos as well this do it just do this is descript descript d-e-s-c-r-i-p-t and you can edit I haven't used it to edit but you can edit by actually taking out the words rather than going through trying to hear the words so going through everything you can see which bit you want out and you can listen at the same time and you

can also add the word so if a word isn't clear enough or maybe you forgot to say something you can record something and put it in insert it insert it in and I clicked the AI button it's like magic AI and it said what do you want to do and it gave him a list of things one of the things is delete all the unneeded pauses and the pointless chatter so it was an hour and 15 minute recording ended up being three minutes long no it didn't it was it did

go down from 30 I think 37 minutes to nine minutes I'm not even joking it really it they they got rid of so much stuff or it did however the words were jumping over each other so there was no ends of sentences just one long sentence for example then when I said sentence and so instead of there being a sentence and it was sentence and as it is like no that's fine for videos on YouTube that focus on I don't know you know that that's okay for them doesn't fit into

what I do because I don't I'm probably not the quickest talker in the world and there needs I think just generally maybe not it doesn't need to be as much gaps or for as long as they are with me with other video channels you know someone's reviewing a movie or an AI app or something like that maybe they don't need the big long pauses but little pause because I know I know some people that can talk like that like literally they don't stop don't take a breath and like wow I

mean I sometimes I get a bit hyper yeah there are times in the past where I will talk a million miles an hour doesn't happen that often it's not my natural state I used to be more like that when I was young because I'd go through periods of manic mania and you know so I would be like a bit wired shall we say but these days not so much these days I would say a bit more calmer a bit more slower a bit more medicated I am medicated and that's why

you're always tired you know it will just have something to do with it but to be honest but it's a it's a weighing up is a weighing up it's like okay I can take the medication for bipolar or I cannot and I've done both and I've done both really pushed the limits of both you know in a sense of I've been really really good by taking it every single day and there's been times when I haven't taken it for way too long and I can see the difference I can see

how I am and you know it's weighing it up like okay well all right I have more energy when I don't take the medication physically just feel more energy my brain works a bit quicker um yeah just feel feel feel in some ways better in some ways but then then I realized that oh it's I think it's kind of like going up a roller coaster and there's that like anticipation like oh or this is going to be great this is going to go and like oh this is really brilliant I'm

excited I'm very you know pumped up for this and then you go down the other side of the roller coaster and when you're going up you almost feel like you've got a degree of control even though you haven't really because it's automatic isn't it but it's like well everything's fine I'm just going up and then yeah it's that's probably not a very good analogy I should think of a better analogy I was thinking maybe you know when you're on a ski lift I went to Bulgaria back in I think of

2002 I think it was I went to yeah Bulgaria on a skiing holiday well a skateboarding holiday found out about the skateboarding when we got there I don't think I'd ever go on a holiday that someone else organized ever again because I need to know I didn't realize that I needed to know but I need to know everything I need to know where I'm staying I need to know what we're doing I just just need to know stuff I don't like other I don't like things being planned for me it's

weird I mean this is a long time ago but still I'm still angry I'm not I think the only annoying thing is one of the people there on the plane back in those back in them days I didn't really enjoy planes now I couldn't care but back then I didn't really didn't enjoy them and I was trying to sleep trying to sort of get myself relaxed and fall asleep and every now and then every and it wasn't a long flight probably three hours or something and he'd like shout at me

say oi I said what he said we're not there yet it's like why would you do that what's the point why is right I had to take a little break then because Vinnie started barking at something so I had to put him into the bedroom I got a neighbor opposite I'm sure he calls Vinnie like Vinnie so Vinnie starts barking my neighbor downstairs used to do the same thing he'd shout up Vinnie I don't want him to bark it's like you just I think people just enjoy it it's as it

kind of like the bloke on the on the plane we're not there yet it's just some people like to mess with other people everyone's messing with me today they're not so I yeah the idea of being on a snow lift you know ones that takes you all across the mountain and I just found that there was periods when I was on the lift where I felt fine and there were periods on the lift where I really didn't feel fine and I kind of fell out of my depth a bit okay

that's perhaps that's not a good analogy oh well well I decided I'll take the medication because I've been dealing with this stuff since I was a kid and I used to self-medicate for most of my adult life and it was only when I was 19 or 19 2000 and 2011 2011 December I was diagnosed with bipolar it gave me medication took it didn't like it stopped taking it carried on working and I ignored it and then in 2013 I got ill and got re-diagnosed with it so basically just had to

do is sort of okay so I've been diagnosed with the same thing twice and then got put on medication and kind of been on it since so I don't know what my point is on this there's a point somewhere I don't know what it is the norm this is too serious it's way more serious than normal I have my days I mean sometimes I mess around sometimes I don't sometimes I I'm just Sunday it's a Sunday thing again I'm sure that means what is this what's the Sunday thing what is

it I don't mean what's Sunday I know what Sunday is what I don't know I don't know if I was a soldier so yeah that's it really that's it um so I'm gonna say goodbye huh this is a bit of a weird weird recording really it was a bit strange a bit a bit yeah a bit a bit you know I actually thought it was Monday earlier on I thought it was Monday I thought ah it's Monday just like it's Monday just just to shoot like okay that's it normal it's

quiet because it's Monday it's Easter next weekend which means the kids have gone holiday before Easter which means they'd have broken up Friday so they'll be on holiday this week which is why there's no noise why I didn't hear them this morning not that I really hear them much but you hear door cars door cars car doors slamming and stuff and in the morning and in the afternoon because people don't know how to close their doors the cars without slamming them it's got to be complicated I think there should be

there needs to be a class at school door closing class to teach kids how to close a door without slamming it or a class in how to speak at a certain volume so it's not too loud maybe just a class in consideration because that could transform the world perhaps a class in consideration considering others wow that sounds quite woke doesn't it but I don't mean it in like you should have to be considerate to everyone's needs and everyone's potential emotional response because that's impossible but you can be considerate generally you

know like you're going to a shop or something and you don't let the door slam in the person's face behind you you know that's just consideration so open it keep it open for them and they say thank you manners it's called manners manners manners manners some people don't know how to do that either so maybe manners consideration and maybe mix the class together consideration and manners that's a topic and have that class right from kindergarten or whatever you know right from like three years old all the way up to whatever

year they leave school and then continue if they go to university continue to have that class in university if you don't go to university everyone perhaps needs to spend one one afternoon or one morning a month going to a class in their community consideration and manners wow wouldn't that be good just to remind people to think of others you know wonder how that would work because if you look at some of the things that some of the people around the world believe in and how fanatical some people around the world

are about certain aspects of those beliefs and that's because it's been indoctrinated into them from birth pretty much so they believe it the same way that they believe that they have feet they believe it's like as true as the their fingernails or their knees you know it's like there's no there's no question in it because it's that's all they know they don't know any different it's it doesn't feel like it's learned even though it is we don't learn to have knees we don't learn to have legs or to have lips

or you know that's already there that's how those beliefs probably feel for people we've all got those some beliefs like that i guess so yeah see because we could cause those so the same strength of belief right from an early age in kids to be considerate and to be kind wow did i say that out loud be kind be kind considerate and kind to themselves as well as others that's mind-blowing stuff ladies and gentlemen and others being kind because you can't be horrible and kind at the same time you can't

it doesn't you know two don't go together and i think the point of being kind is you do it because it's the right thing to do that's it there's no doctrine there's no teaching there's no anything you do it because it's the right thing to do and you know it's the right thing to do because that's what you've been taught right from the minute you're born being kind being generous being caring being loving helping others being considerate all that stuff right from birth and if you don't do it you're breaking

any rules because it's not a rule it's in you it's part of you you don't need a rule in order to hear what people say you can just hear because you've got ears those that can hear you don't need a rule to taste food you just taste food because that's just there you eat you taste food so those and i do think they're natural instincts anyway to be kind and to be helpful and to want to just be a decent person you know but for no reason there's no reward there's

no punishment there's no reward there's no rules there's nothing like that there's nothing you can read about it it's just something you're taught right from day dot being kind caring loving gentle with others and yourself and if you don't do that there's no punishment you don't have to be kind obviously there's punishment if you if you break the law as far as doing something horrible to someone but you don't have to be kind you don't have to do any of that stuff it's not a rule it's not a law it's

not written down there's no benefit to you to do it but you feel happier for doing it yeah because it's kind of part i think it's part of us i do i think some of the hula hoop classes some really nasty people they're walking down the street on their own and they see someone in trouble chances are that a high percentage of those people will stop and help that person even though on some level they might be classed as super horrible as a person i realize i can't say that about

everybody first of all i haven't met everybody i've only met 92 of the population not everybody i don't know why i say that um but there's that instinctual kindness that is there and i think we learn positivity and negativity from outside so that being the case knowing what we know about some parts some people in the world that believe with all every particle of their being in a certain thing that perhaps we don't really understand why or can really even grasp why the thing they believe in using that same technique

using that same structure but using kindness and love and respect we can create that in our babies as they grow up wanting to help people and being allowed to help people without being judged because it seems that just being kind is almost like anti-social sometimes i've never figured that one out i noticed one thing years ago i was in a nightclub with people they were kind of my friends they were people i've worked with and there was this girl i was so young this was girl in there that i liked

i was probably about 21 22 and she was dancing and they were making fun of her um i don't know physical appearance basically but i liked her well i fancied her you know from a distance and i didn't i'm sure she smiled at me and i think she was looking at me mind you i don't know because at one point one of her glass eyes fell out but she she did look at me what i'm saying that didn't happen she did she looked at me and she smiled she was either

smiling at me or someone else but i think she was smiling at me and i liked her i thought yeah she's nice and then my friends were like oh i'm not gonna say what they're derogatory stuff just yeah they were just young drunk lads being rude i was like oh and i got home and i think well i'm at home on my own why didn't i just go out and speak to her because actually i liked her and why should i limit myself by other people's limitations yeah that wasn't really

worth worth telling was it that story that was a bit boring i mean i know this these podcasts are supposed to be boring but there is a limit isn't there there's a limit to tediousness and i think i might have broken the rule the rule you know what i mean do you not mean do you not mean do you know oh what i mean do you know what i mean so yeah that's it really i'll edit this in the morning release it in the morning monday sometime fairly early i'll edit

and whatever and then then i'll do another one in the afternoon or whatever for the day after yeah oh yeah so i'm gonna go see how vinny is see if he needs to go out for a walk even though he's only been about two hours since he last went out and uh he's still barking at big dogs i just don't get it i don't know what's going on there but uh even he's barking at dogs that he knows and that's what i don't understand it's like why why are you barking

at dogs that you know and it's not a nice bark it's proper sounds aggressive to me so i don't know he's just acting weird maybe that's how he is now you know he's gone from being all timid and rolling on his back submissive to every single dog he ever met to almost trying to fight everyone very strange and i like that submissive part of him because it meant that people liked him and they were fussing over him and he was someone i could just he was not a problem he was

just lovely with other dogs and other people and kids and everyone just he just loves everyone and now he's i don't know he seems to have an issue with dogs some dogs and then other dogs he's fine can't figure it out anyway uh now i'm gonna go beep beep now i'm going to go it's the end of the show and that's why i'm gonna go i can't think of anything that rhymes to be we've go i don't know anyway i should speak to you later so remember to be kind to yourself remember to be gentle with yourself because you do deserve to be happy truly lots of love bye