(no music) #1083 Andre’s Mums Bookcase - Let Me Bore You To Sleep - (19th March 2024)

Oh yeah baby oh hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep wherever i start recording he has to do something so now vinnie is playing with this snake the snake that rattles it's quite weird because andre had a snake that was his favorite thing and uh snake is vinnie's favorite thing weird isn't it and two different snakes i used to do this oh i should say only listen when you can safely close your eyes before i take off um also yeah yeah yeah also jason newland's boring group is

my Facebook group for my for my listeners who really like what i do then that's the place to go if you want to just become a member there's a private group it's only 152 members so far but you can just ask to join and that's it you're welcome and i yeah andre with his snake he used to he used to hide it from me and i'd pick it up and i'd i'd take it and i'd take i put it somewhere else and he'd grab it and he'd take it back and

he'd put it somewhere else he didn't want me touching it it's almost like the snake was his child or something and i remember seeing him trying to take it into his cage even though he didn't really go in the cage much but the cage was always open he never didn't have to sleep in it did whatever he wants it was just there and he's trying and it was a long thing it was probably four foot three foot i don't know quite long and he'd try and get it into the cage

through the small door up the the ramp oh you know it's just it was funny to watch because it just didn't fit but he gave it his best he didn't want me touching it basically and vinnie viddy viddy viddy viddy viddy he's now chewing on a bone so he's got the snake with him i'm talking to snakes i know it's not always the most popular subject and i think it was friday last friday so it's now tuesday the 19th of march 2024 so friday i come downstairs and i'm taking vinnie

for a walk one of his multiple walks of the day and there's two people downstairs standing outside my friend's flat my friend who used to live in that flat and they were from the rspca which is a an animal welfare charity thing and and it turned out that my friend's snake that disappeared had reappeared so when he departed my friend um the there was two snakes supposed to be in the tank and only one snake was left the other one had gone this disappeared so the first the one that was

left got taken out and rehomed straight away one of his dogs got rehomed straight away and i had logi the other dog for two months before he was rehomed and i couldn't have all three dogs it's just that would be impossible not impossible but very very difficult because logi and the other dog used to fight and then when logi was upstairs with vinnie up with vinnie with yeah finny sorry finny and the other dog came anywhere near finny logi would go to attack him her not not they never actually hurt

each other but there was he didn't like it he wanted to protect finny all she wanted to do was play she was a big dog she was uh i don't know what time quite a big dog anyway and she's very lovely actually very beautiful dog but hyperactive and it would just take time i think a lot of time and patience to get her to calm down and i think that's what it what was needed needs to be in a very stable environment probably without any other dogs not not that she

was dangerous but just i think she wanted the attention herself she wanted to be the the the soul the soul dog really which i think a lot of dogs do i don't know i'm making that up i'm just making it up as i go along just like my life just got a little bit of a guess had a bit of a weird little bit of a weird stomach the last few days but it's okay nothing major just a bit a little bit you know anyway what happened is on the thursday

last week the council came into my friend's flat to start clearing it out and they did i might have already told you this story so if i have then oh well just means i repeated myself which wouldn't be the first time i'm guessing over all of these years i very much doubt that everything i've said has been original i'm sure there's been a slight bit of repetition just a just a little bit maybe make a bit more noise please i'll put it thank you so it always does it doesn't he

never say that he always ups the ante so i owe to the council we're emptying his flat and i wasn't hugely impressed with some of the stuff they were saying because i could hear them in my flat outside shouting up someone one of them shouted out how it's just junk it's like you know have a bit of sensitivity you know but hey that's just that's the way it is but it shook me up a little bit to be honest and then when i actually go downstairs because i really wanted to

go for a walk and one of them was outside well they were both outside but one of them was in the back of one of the council cages you know like the lorry with a refuge thing and got caged either side so they could stack them quite high i guess and he was just smashing up some stuff in the back of that so i don't know what it was he was smashing up i think with a hammer or something so um yeah it was yeah it was it wasn't very pleasant

to see that to be honest and even if it was junk to that person perhaps they shouldn't have been shouting it out because they don't know they wouldn't have known the circumstances of the situation probably if they did then it was very insensitive but they probably didn't it's just another another council property that they're emptying i mean i'm sure there's no reason for them to know what happened but i just thought just a little bit of sensitivity would uh could go a long way if you know what i mean so

it's not it's not as if they were going through uh uh it was and it wasn't like really messy or really it was it wasn't tidy because some people had been in there and taken stuff and you know so it was messy than it would normally be but you know one person's was it they say one person's rubbish is another person's treasure i'm saying is that old saying like that isn't there and i don't like the idea of that happening to me the idea of someone coming in here and taking

my stuff and just chucking it into back of a van smashing it up and it's going about what rubbish it is i was like well yeah i suppose there is a fair bit of stuff in here that maybe people would class as rubbish and guaranteed my book collection would be very little interest to um a council worker empty in the flat unless they have an interest in what i'm interested in they'd probably just see it as a bunch of goggledygook you know hypnosis and psychotherapy and uh nlp and chronic pain

release stuff and what other stuff have i got you know i'm going to start talking about my books now i'm looking behind me i've got quite a few books you know when i moved in here it was 2015 april so it's nearly nine years nearly nine years and i got to know my friend downstairs within two weeks of being here i was friends with him we we clicked as soon as we started talking in the garden we were friends and it was kind of sick we saw each other quite very

often after that just you know you know when you get on with someone it's just natural and that's just how it was so we used to walk over to the garage together and chat and just yeah and it was springtime so it's nice weather and we'd walk his ferret because l he'd come for walks so we'd go out with him and yeah and i suppose by november that year when i got andre we were like you know best of friends at that point and probably before that really but yeah we

got came close quite quick i don't know why what do you mean you don't know why that's rude it's not really because we were very different people like very different we had what do we have in common not a lot really and i suppose one of the things we had in common we were both very close to our grandmothers he actually lived with his grandmother at some points during his childhood and i was really really close to my grandmother so we had that his grandmother actually looked like my nan his

nan looked like my nan but then it's the irish well not all irish people look the same obviously they don't but for some reason they just look quite similar but that's not it's not a basis is it to be friends with someone and i do sometimes wonder is it just because of the proximity because we were just really lazy like i can't bother to travel out so let's just be friends with someone that's upstairs or downstairs it's just a little bit easier i don't know maybe but you'll be very different

people very different he had a lot of friends i have hardly any he was popular i've never really been particularly popular not like in real life um on the internet i've done all right on the internet but i guess it's even though i would say i'm probably more honest in these podcasts and perhaps i am in my some of my ongoing friendships but i don't really have much friendships and it's fine i'm not i don't want any i'm just saying that i the part of a friendship where you open up

and tell them stuff i've got that doing these podcasts and that's not why i do the podcasts it's just uh i guess it's just a side effect of it it's just one of the terrible side effects although in the past technically everything's happened in the past isn't it anything that's ever happened has been in the past but in the past i've had a little bit of criticism just a little bit people saying oh it's so self-indulgent you and yeah yeah i can't argue with that really i mean there's probably nothing

more self-indulgent than these podcasts it's all about myself i'm the hero of the stories even though the story might not have anything to do with me i mean if i told you if i talk about the first man on the moon i'm going to be involved somewhere i'm going to be the one holding the camera i got on the moon first he got all the glory but yeah i do wonder like someone is i've looked through book people's book collections in the past and i thought oh what a pile of

rubbish not in a horrible way i didn't like hold my nose and stick my head out the window screaming it wasn't that bad it was just didn't overreact or anything i didn't like you know call call for the police i just i didn't put an advert in the paper it was just a complaint i just i didn't lobby the house of commons try and get hold of the prime minister please you need to change the law so people can't buy those books no none of that silly stuff i just because

i wasn't interested in any of the topics of the books which meant i just didn't have any interest in the books and that was i remember years ago when i was what 2000 no 1994 when i went to ireland and lived with andre andre the first the first andre not andre my son the ferret but andre my friend in the 90s so i went to live with him and his family in ireland and i think um his mum asked andre what i like to do and she said and he told

her that i like to read i was a big book enthusiast which i was and she said to me i hear you like to read i hear you like to read sounds a bit weird doesn't it i hear you're one of them readers said yeah yeah she said uh i said yeah but i haven't got anything to read at the moment i might try and join the library if you kind of can direct me to where it is i'll try and join the library on monday or something and she said

oh no need i'm not gonna do the accent no need is yeah there's no need no no she didn't talk like that she said there's no need and then she pointed her finger uh to the corner of the room it was in a living room i realize you don't know the layout so i'll give you the layout so as you come into the front door the living room was on the left the kitchen and dining room it's all kind of was all in one place as that was straight ahead and

there was a a door into the garden big old garden and andre's dad used to breed greyhounds and used to race them as well i went actually went with him once to the to the races and uh very interested it's that's the thing you know i'll talk about boring and that's boring everything's boring to someone you know things that we're not interested in it just can be boring however if you'd have told me you know six months earlier oh you fancy going to the greyhound racing track i'd have said no

no thanks and we did have them in london you know where i lived and the idea of it would just how pointless really so i'm not a gambler i've never been a gambler i have gambled but i've not been a gambler and i haven't gambled not as in like poker but i get the idea with poker it's all a case of how much money you've got because if you've got unlimited amount of money you if you get into a certain position you can you can get to the point where you

have someone has to pay you more than they've got to see your cards and if they haven't got that amount of money if i'm correct you take their you win so if you say to them you have to pay a hundred grand or okay in my money you have to pay five pound twenty to see my cards and the other person's only got three pound fourteen on them then i'm gonna win the ten pound ninety four that's on the table i think a hundred grand sounded better hundred grand so you

know they say well it's gonna be a hundred grand for you to see my cards now my knowledge of poker comes from watching tv shows not not poker shows although i have seen okay i've seen some poker shows and it wasn't for the poker it was for the um the the characters some of the characters is very funny and the way they kind of have a go at each other and stuff is quite quite amusing amusing and there's been times i think when i was younger especially when i was drinking

i used to sit up late at night and sometimes watch the poker i'm still don't know how to play poker i don't i've seen also in movies and that's one of the the common themes that i seem to remember is the whole situation or situation when one person literally says you know asks for too much money and they pull out like a big bundle of cash from their socks or their underpants and put on a table and the other person's like oh no but i haven't got any money i've got

i've got i've got nothing left would you take my watch would you take my car what about my house you know those sort of scenarios that i don't i don't know if they happen or not i really am not sure they might they might happen and i did live with a bloke uh i lodged rented a room with someone i worked with and he he used to have poker games every now and then with other people that we all worked with but i never got involved because i just it just

wasn't my scene and he often would win he was very good and i think he was good at putting people off as well distracting them and he was he was a good uh bs artist as it were so i think he could definitely i don't know fool people into thinking that he had a good hand or he had a bad hand or whatever i mean sometimes you have a bad hand but that was uh it's diabetes but he he i wonder what he's doing these days bless him got me evicted

got me evicted in 1995 never mind a not no point holding a holding a grudge for 29 years and six months and 14 hours so it's it's andre's mom said oh oh so you go in the front door of his house i don't know if they're still living there he he's not around anymore unfortunately he's not um on the planet um yeah go in turn left is a living room it's a nice living room had a tv nice tv sky television satellite thing so it was nice did not spend much

time in the living room it was i'd be there we'd be in there like five o'clock or something waiting for dinner so we'd watch tv you know to watch tv watch the simpsons or something or if i remember rightly i used to watch star trek um the the one with john luke picard one and uh what's his name cornish pasty on his head the oh forget his name but yeah he said he used to watch that and then i think the simpsons was on after that also i remember seeing wonder

woman and it was the first time i'd seen wonder woman i don't know it might have been earlier in the day might have been in the morning i can't remember uh i didn't spend much time watching television in that house but i remember watching wonder woman for the first time since i was a little kid because i used to watch it in the was it late 70s early 80s i'm not sure should we check it out let's look wonder woman wonder woman ooh wonder woman it was blood blimey 90 oh

come on wonder woman tv shows what i want don't want the actual thing wonder woman dvd no 1975 no way no way no way i don't believe that how could it be 1975 that was when it started no that doesn't it was so when did it finish then how many series seasons one two three there's only three seasons and it finished in 19 i'm getting so excited ah so they they they created it in 1975 but they didn't from the from the looks of it tv series season one was 1976

to 77 season two was 1977 to 78 and seasons three season three 1978 to 79 and households in millions i'm guessing that was in the us 12.8 million for the first season 11.9 million for the second and 12.3 million for the third wow so ah got you so the the television film pilot was november the 7th 1975 and then the tv show started so that was aired on the 7th of november 75 the first episode of the for season one was the april the 21st 1976 until february 16 1977 and

that was on abc network i don't really know all the different networks were around back then but there was abc and quite easy to remember really and both the television film pilot and the first season was on abc and then season two and season three were on cbs thanks vinny flapping your ears lovely um so season one had 13 episodes season two had 22 and season three had 24 and season two september the 16th 77 to april the 21st 78 and then season three september 22nd 78 to september the 11th

1979 so when that one ended i'd have just turned nine years old at the end of august so when it first started when the original thing was released the television film pilot i was five years old now i think i was too young to remember it i remember i remember stuff you know um i don't remember wonder woman and i'm pretty sure based on where i was living at the time i probably wasn't allowed to watch wonder woman i'm not sure how it goes down with catholic nuns in a nunnery

which where i was living so probably probably wasn't uh allowed to watch that but then the first season because that was the pilot the first season um i was still five i was 76 in april it ended in february okay 77 so i was six years old okay so perhaps i didn't see the first season i might have watched it but you never know i watched it it's possible and because i remember when i was in a kid's home i watched planet of the apes the or one of the one

of the planet of the apes so on horses this is going back you know a long time ago i mean the movies were old even then with charles and heston i do believe and paddy mcdowell paddy mcgowell have i got that right planet of the apes let me check what have i got mcdowell paddy mcdowell planet of the apes uh let's have a look planet of the apes first one was 1968 so it wasn't that old not really oh charlton heston and roddy mcdowell see i think roddy mcdowell was the

one of the apes um cornelius was weird because we had a sister cornelius at our our thing our place where we lived so that was 1968 beneath the planet of the apes was 1970 oh charlton heston was in that but wasn't the star and cornelius wasn't in it either unless he was wow there's someone okay i won't say it but there's there's a name in there which wouldn't be used today thomas gomez thomas gomez blimey okay so that's beneath the planet of the apes escape from the planet the apes was

1971 so i was may 1971 it was released and so i was i wasn't even oh blimey i wasn't even one years old yet and star of that was roddy mcdowell as i'm guessing cornelius surely yep dr cornelius but no charlton heston i wonder if charlton heston came back and did it did any more conquests of the planet of the apes 1972 i'm sure they brought charlton heston back maybe i'm wrong roddy mcdowell again starring uh he's uh and then don murray ricardo monta montaban um ricardo montalban oh i know

him i didn't realize that was him so planet chabano 1970 so i've got to have a quick look at this 19 1968 it's not even listed in he was in wonder woman um high chaparral ironside wow he was on a lot of things these were tv shows that says it's movies go to the movies oh no there's gotta be some movies oh it's the top one okay so going to the movies he played escape from planet the apes and conquests of planet the apes he played on mando amando amando okay

and did did it did it did um he's not even on there all right so he was quite a low ricardo monta okay okay okay all right stop going on i really thought i don't know why the charlton heston was in more than one of them i mean is that a strange thing to believe i don't know it's like i don't believe it as in oh but just you know i just thought it was because it's one of his most well i would argue i wouldn't argue but i would say

possibly one of his most famous roles maybe not really just farted what other ones was there planet the apes uh and there's one more whoops nope planet the apes okay battle for the planet the apes 1973 okay roddy mcdowell again john huston hoost huston claude albin oh okay it does make me wonder though about um charlton heston because he was i mean he was a huge movie star wasn't he born in 23 until 2008 i know yeah he was he played moses in the 10 commandments ben her he was got

him a a can academy award why don't they just so they call it an academy an academy academy academy award but it's also an oscar why don't you call it an oscars or the academy awards that used to confuse me for years like he's won both no he's just won one it's the same thing how can it be the same thing so he how many did he what did he win how many oscars did he win did he get one oscar i mean it's still a hell of a thing isn't

it it's a brilliant oscar quite often on wikipedia it tells you doesn't it like what oscars he winned but uh you don't allegiance uses maybe if i go down a bit let me go down heston in 2001 no it doesn't say let me see if it says it in a blurb at the beginning uh he gained stardom through his leading man roles in numerous hollywood films including biblical epics science fiction films and action films he won the academy award as well as nominations for three golden globe awards and three primetime

emmy awards he won numerous well that was a bit of whistly whistlispy he won numerous honoree accolades including the gene hersholt humanitarian award in 1978 and the golden uh cecil b de mille award in 1967 you think they'd do it like in order wouldn't you put that in a month the screen actors guild life achievement award in 1971 and so he got presidential medal of freedom in 2003 he the greatest show on earth secret of the anchors touch of evil the big country elcid the greatest story ever told cartoon planning

of the apes julius caesar the omega man antony and cleopatra soylent green the three musketeers airpoint 1975 earthquake oh do you remember you you might not remember but you might do there was a time and i remember this and i kind of saw because a lot of these movies i saw them when they came onto television so they were made they were released maybe like 1975 or 1974 and then it'd be released on television like late 70s maybe early 80s there was a time when it took about five maybe five

years to be on telly after being in the cinema especially if it was a big big box office hit and there was a period where they just loved it was like a phase a fad whatever you want to call it of disaster movies and there was lots lots and lots and lots i mean i remember do you want to know why i remember it do you want to know it's really ridiculous so ridiculous because pamela ewing from dallas is in it when she was well obviously younger than what she was

when she was in dallas because it was before that but she was in that and i fancied her when i was a kid i really had the hots for pam what did i say ewing pamela bobby's wife um i forget her name now but i loved her and she was in this movie am i right yep victoria principal she wasn't like a big she wasn't the main character in it shelton heston was avicardner george kennedy lawn green genevieve bourgeois richard roundtree marjo gortner and barry sullivan lloyd nolan and then victoria

principal and that she blew me away with just i was only what a little kid i just fell for her see it's not pervy if i was only a kid saying it i know i'm not a kid now but i just like wow i was like eight oh like it was weird it was weird i was very strange in them days i really really liked her a lot and then i was really i loved it when she when she joined dallas in probably again in the late 70s she was my

favorite all the time there was no one else that i liked more probably on television um probably except wonder woman they they heard them two probably my favorite women on television when i was little i loved them both equally for different reasons though i mean i loved pamela ewing or i used to call her pam pammy papa and uh she never wrote back she never wrote back but i used to i liked her for different reasons i mean she was you know bearing in mind i was eight or nine so

try not to judge me too much i used to watch her on dallas and just like oh man i just bobby's so lucky but at the same time bobby was beautiful as well because he was there's a man from atlantis you can't begrudge the man from atlantis from because you know in my mind pammy per ewing you know i thought she should wait for me i was only eight or nine she should wait at least a couple of years until i was a man so you know to everyone else would

be so it's acceptable socially acceptable but then the man from atlantis came along and took her and they got married and lived you know with jr ewing and that and i thought well if anyone's gonna take the love of my life i'd rather it be the man from atlantis you know he's a hero he could do so much to help people who were in trouble he'd help people or provide an area in water but you know it's there was part of me i think well you know if you'd have met

either of what if you met wonder woman he might take her from me so i can't afford at least i had wonder woman as a backup it depended i mean because they they both have different it's like they they scratch different itches you know it was almost wonder woman there was the superpowers and but with pammy ewing she just i would have been happy to walk into school into junior school with her carrying my lunchbox and maybe you know helping me to undo my packet of cheese and onion crisps you

know always need a little bit of help with that stuff when i was a kid it would have been nice just to just you know it'd be she could have held my satchel for me yeah it would have been it would have been a proud moment for me to to know that she was in my life when i was eight and but it didn't happen so i had to make do with wonder woman so i thought now i figured the way the world works is well the backup plan should should

be easy you know plan b should be much easier than plan a if plan a if plan a don't work then plan b should be simple but again she didn't reply i'd like to say that i sent her emails and love letters but there was no internet back then so i didn't i did write i did write um songs for her but the problem is there's no way of getting them to her i used to leave them on the top of the television i don't know i just thought maybe one

day when it's not around she'd put her hand up and pull it out out of the tv and take it but then that would have been poltergeist territory wouldn't it shouldn't poltergeist just really pronounce poltergost that would make sense wouldn't it because it's basically a ghost poltergost don't call it poltergeist poltergost come on but yeah i don't know what i'm talking about wonder woman yeah wonder woman so i appreciate wonder woman in a different way when i was 24 than how i did when i was sort of eight not in

a hugely different way to be honest but i saw it with fresh eyes because i hadn't seen it since the early 80s and this was the middle 90s nearly the middle 90s so for at least let's say i don't know over a decade which is a long time when you're 24 a decade is nearly half your life isn't it so i was it it was weird it's like see wow because you know if you just said oh you used to fancy wonder woman when he was eight years old and he'd

be like okay fair enough do you know why i've got no idea i was eight years old i was eight years old why does any eight-year-old like anything i mean i was you know i used to want to walk on the moon and be a policeman and all that stuff when we used to be able to use the word man after things job titles but i used to want to be a police person and and if i'd have got into the the um we had this work profiler come in person

to see what you know i think i don't know what was about 14 14 and they basically have an interview with them and they'd say you know they'd tell me kind of what i'd be suitable for and you know we had to queue up there was more than one there was i think there was probably about four four different people seeing so but you know so but there's still a good 100 200 of us to be seen so it took a while and my friends were going in and they're coming

out i say friends but you know people i knew kids i knew and i was saying uh oh i'm gonna be a scientist he said that i might be able to um that i've got a really good mathematical brain maybe uh i should look into teaching math aesthetics another one had come out saying oh i'm gonna be a map builder he looked around there's no response he said it again but this time he tap danced map builder and he was like like it's not very exciting even tap dancing doesn't make

that exciting map builder so in fact what is a map builder i mean map writer map developer map creator and what's a map builder he said it's someone that builds maps and then he then he just he dropped his head he said i don't know what it means actually i have no idea i was too scared to ask you watching wonder woman tonight i said it's not on anymore he said oh yeah it's yeah it's 1984 now it's not on anymore because if it was on then what you said earlier

would be wrong wouldn't it saying you haven't seen it for nearly 15 years because this way you'd have seen it like 10 years ago and that'll ruin the story from earlier i said exactly you got to think about these things he said you're right so uh what are you doing bonfire night i said i don't know just same thing really just um it is quite good to be honest we do have a bit of a buffet my step-mom i used to call my mom back then because you know whenever i

used to say my step-mom people say what do you mean you mean your mom yeah my mom but you know now step-mom because just makes it makes it a bit easier to divide all the different mothers i've had and step-mom number one um and she used to really she brilliant cook absolutely brilliant cook brilliant mom as well to be honest so you know but brilliant cook she could do just you know uh cakes and stuff like she made pizzas on bonfire night which i don't think you celebrate in other countries

because it's basically celebrating a terrorist act um when someone tries to blow up the house of commons i think in who knows what year it was hundreds of years ago a bloke called um bonfire uh no it's i'm joking his name is fireworks and um he so that's where fireworks came from see and now other countries use fireworks for different things we invented them and to celebrate the terrorist attack i mean they did stop the terrorist the terrorists did get stopped so the house of commons wasn't blown up because they

put gunpowder all these barrels of gunpowder underneath and they didn't realize it was going to be damp down there and someone forgot a match something like that and i forget the actual story to be honest with you uh and then he uh he got in trouble got in trouble i mean some would argue that what happened to him should happen to all people that try and do things like that but hey times they do change change times they are a changing get out of the road if you can lend a

hand time to our changing um that was my uh elvis presley impression uh so wow can you believe no way it's either 50 minutes in or 59 minutes in wait for the change it's an hour or just under an hour so i was a few minutes before i started an hour of talking i've not even talked about anything yet i've not talked about anything i've only just started the recording recording anyway andre's mom says she points over into the corner and she's and and as you go into the living room

there's a city on the left and on the right hand side there's a television but straight ahead there was a cabinet that had books inside and it was inside i think a glass cabinet but there might not have been a glass cabinet i mean like like a bookshelf cabinet but with glass slides you know the ones that slide i guess that's probably explains the the title of them i don't know a slide they might not have slid they might have opened but they open them in slides technically do open as

well don't they it's just it's it's the way they open it's not it's not they don't stay closed forever because it's a slide or not because it's because it slides and my friend said he said well can i come to yours for for bonfire night because you know i really i think your your mom does such a good layout with all the pizzas and sausage rolls and um little sandwiches and you have fireworks in your garden and sprinklers are they sprinklers you know the sparklers that's it the ones you need

to you need to hold with gloves otherwise they they literally are the um the the temperature of the sun basically i mean they are the hottest things on the planet seriously i mean if you really if you get a sparkler and you could find one that lasted for like an hour you could head out because they don't go out they just once they're lit they stay lit until they they're no longer lit i suppose well they do go out when they go out but they don't go out until that time

and if you had a sparkler that could last for half an hour or an hour or for any amount of time that you choose you'd be safe wherever you went because no one would mess with you if you had a spark in your hand because no one wants that anywhere near them because it is it melts it is it is hotter than the sun it can melt through steel it is absolutely it's not red hot it's white hot never understood that it's so hot it feels cold now that's just that's

just cold isn't it it's so hot it feels cold it's so cold it feels warm it doesn't really make sense i'm so wet i feel dry and he said look just i just want to know whether or not i can come around i said well it's a family thing isn't it it's a family thing i don't have any control over who comes to the bonfire night and besides it's usually a family thing um so my three brothers will be there with me my dad my mom her mom or my nan

her her mom which was my nan and then there's my nan and granddad will probably be there maybe my uncle and auntie that used to live around the corner they might be there as well maybe one of the neighbors might come around ah so if your neighbors can come around i can come around said yeah but you're not one of my neighbors are you he said yeah i am i live opposite the road i live opposite you just it's a neighbor said no a neighbor has to be on the same

side of the road where's the rules that say that you don't need rules i mean i've got it in my pocket if you want to see the rules but you don't need rules to know that a neighbor a neighbor a neighbor is either side of you i mean that's a next door neighbor i mean what does neighbor comes from the words doesn't it neighbor is just a shortened version of next door neighbor no it's not yes it is neighbor is shortened from next door neighbor that's what it stands for what

are you on that's not important right now neighbor next door neighbor next door either side is fine not so much the right side but you know either side depending depending you know but we can stretch it to a few doors up as well because technically they're still kind of next door they're next door next door neighbors they're the next door neighbors to our next door neighbor or they're the next door neighbor to our next door neighbors next door neighbor any more than that gets a bit silly often this whole situation

is silly i think this whole i mean if anything i think i feel like i've aged this lasted so long my voice is broken i mean i've honestly i feel like i've gone through puberty just during this conversation i said well that's nice for you so are you gonna you know are you gonna go for it then he said uh what do you mean go for it what you mean try and get into your bonfire party i said no no you're not invited to that he said go for what i

said uh map making are you gonna get into maps is that gonna be your job is it you are you gonna be you're gonna be the map man the map man d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d map man d d d d d d of course i didn't use that tune because it wasn't around then um he's a map man d d d d d d okay you need to get the idea and he ran away and he looked back he said

he stuck his tongue out and just ran off which is a bit childish a bit childish of a 14 year old and i never saw him again he had to leave school because his his parents moved to japan they had uh i think his dad had a job offer or something and in um oh where is it oh japan and his mom wanted to go with his dad because they were married and he had to go with his mom and dad because he was their child and he he was 14

he wasn't like back in them days it wasn't legal to to live on your own at 14. i think these days i don't know if it is or not i don't know because i'm not 14 but he moved away apparently he's i think he got a job in microsoft or something or some big fujitsu some big computer company in japan my friend this is he's his dad's had a job there and he got his son a job there and and now he's i think he he went on to start his

own company and he's got about a hundred thousand employees or something and you know what we call him now map man map man we still call him map man because for some reason it just stuck we called him map man which is weird because i mean i did see him after the event but you know he left that year and i think during the summer or something he'd moved away but he was always remembered as map man i don't know what his first name was i mean i literally i'd known

him for about six years but and i knew what his name was until that point but as soon as he came out and had been told that he should you know get involved in maps map man that was it it's weird isn't it children are strange so andre's mum pointed at the bookcase and she said i hear you like books or who you like to read i said yeah yeah to me reading seemed like quite a normal thing to do didn't seem like a particularly unusual pastime to be indulging in

just just me but that's didn't seem particularly weird to be reading is that a weird thing to do but i don't think she was saying it like that because she was lovely but i just like i hear you like to read i hear it's almost like hmm i hear you like to climb mountains in your bare feet here you like to you like to wrestle bears is that true you like to read right yeah you like to try and i'd like to try and start fires with your bare feet with

a wet log no where did you hear that andre stopped making stuff up uh do you know when you when something happens and you just find it hilarious but no one else does that happens to me a lot it happens to me when i do these recordings but there was me and andre we was walking um down the country no we got a lift got a lift yeah his mum oh yeah i was in the back of the car with him his mum and his grandmother i think were in the

car so she was in the front me and andre were in the back and his mum was driving they were on the way to bingo in town so they gave us a lift and we're going to just go to the pubs and then she his mum said oh we just got to quickly stop here and pick up your auntie or pick up someone another person and uh she opened the door to get in so how am i going to fit in there i said oh just that's right i'll andre andre

you sit on my lap it's fine so andre i'm not sure if i offered him or he just jumped at the chance i'm not sure but anyway andre's sitting on my lap in the back of the car and the lady gets in it might be this auntie it wasn't a stranger i mean everyone was a stranger to me really but i don't know if he knew her or if i'm sure his mum wouldn't have stopped if they didn't know her it might have been a bingo friend you know perhaps but

uh see this is the funny bit it was funny to me at the time it was hilarious oh i just got a big yes i keep doing these burps but they're not proper burps at the moment they're kind of they sound almost like they've got silencers on them um yeah anyway so he's sitting on my lap the lady's sitting next to me his grandmother's sitting in the front and his mum's driving the car now me and andre are laughing it's a weird situation i'm not used to him neither of us

are used to him sitting on my lap when there's other people around you know just generally it's just no it's the first time i don't know i think it was the first time he sat on my lap i generally don't know how people sit on my lap it's not you know a general thing but you know it was it was either that or walk and i didn't want to walk i really didn't it was like in the countryside pitch black for miles it just yeah just no no thanks so we

got a lift he's sitting on my lap and after a couple of minutes i shout out quite loudly andre have you put on weight now that's funny to me it was funny to me back then because it was in my mind saying that we constantly he constantly sits on my lap but he hasn't done for what for a little while and i'm commenting on he feels a bit heavier than normal which of course you know in these days you couldn't say that anyway i'd be classed as wrong to say that

to someone but it was he hadn't you know he was slim and i was slim and um it wasn't really an issue but it just uh it just seemed like a really inappropriate thing to say and i said it for that reason but also i just found it hilarious and i couldn't stop laughing and he was laughing i don't think anybody else was laughing i don't i'm not sure if his mum enjoyed it as much as i did not not having him sitting on my knee on my lap but is

yeah probably also when we got out and he got and we stopped the car got to the destination he got out and his mum said he jason you're gonna get out of the car i said i can't stand can't stand up right now that that probably wasn't a good thing to say either just just give me a couple of minutes just to let the blood go back to my head so yeah that was inappropriate as well i guess but his mum was lovely um and she pointed to the the books

the book thing and i just so and it's weird this is weird that i was a huh sounds silly now not offended but like that's not how it works i'm not sure if i said that knowing me back then i probably did say that i wasn't the most tactful person when i was younger but you know it doesn't work like that you don't just like oh i like books therefore i like all books i do like all books but i don't you know don't want to read all books although i

would if i was alive forever i would read every single book that's ever been written but hey until those days occur i won't be i'd love to i'd love to just read and learn that's you know some people say oh i want to live if we live forever i'm talking with a degree of health you know um i would study every single subject that's possible i'd get hundreds of degrees i'd i'd yeah it'd be so cool just to learn new things to really be just to be good if i was

alive i just think if i was alive let's say 10 000 years by the end of it surely i'd be good at something with all that time and effort i would surely i would have found something that i was capable of doing in a a fairly decent way surely hey but yeah i said i remember said to her look i don't i don't um i just read anything it's like me saying you like to watch telly there you go watch that channel it might not be something you like you might

not like what watching coronation street you you might want to watch i don't know if they had coronation street on in them days in ireland i don't know um because they had sky so i don't honestly i mean generally i don't know what channels i know they had rte and i don't know if they had bbc and itv and all the channel four channel four so bbc bbc2 itv and channel four were the only channels that we had in england in them days now i don't know i know ireland's got

its own channels on tv stations and that i don't know if the british channels were over there as well i don't know genuinely not sure but you know what i didn't go over there to watch television why did you come over there then you know what i don't know i've got no idea i went over there to get away from where i was which is a common theme through my life going somewhere to get away from going there to get away from here and now i'm here going over there to

get away from here and over and over again for decades and now i'm here again and i've been here for nine years nearly and over there really does seem quite appealing but unfortunately i don't know where over there is it's lost i don't know where it is ironically though i ended up looking through the books and they were good i think i like read this digest books of stories and there was all these short stories charles dickens and stuff and they were good there were some really good books like ghost

stories and things so yeah i did read a few of them so it just goes to show doesn't it i don't know what it goes to show but it goes to show something what do you reckon it goes to show anyone anyone anyone is there anyone going to tell me what it's like being covered in peanut butter every night i got a few books when i moved in my goal was to get one book a week just one book a week that's it not expensive books get secondhand ones from amazon

just one book a week you know sometimes it might cost 10 pound sometimes it might cost two pound you know even out so one book a week and i did for a little while i even bought them because i was replacing my old my old catalog of books my old library of books that got destroyed i i didn't even open the packages so i'd get one book a week and i used to put it in the cupboard unopened because even though i had the books i wasn't excited about the book

because i already either read the book or i'd been it'd been on my shelf for years until they got all got destroyed so and that was a couple of years earlier and then one day i thought i better might as well just open them so i think i had probably 15 20 books in packages and opened them up and put them on my book actually that's it i didn't have any i didn't have any bookcases and when i bought my bookcases that's when i decided i could put my books up

because it's easier to put book books up on a bookcase than without a bookcase it's kind of like trying to eat your dinner at a table without the table you know it's easier if there's a bookcase for the books because otherwise there's nowhere to put the books it i mean there's nowhere to put them there was nowhere it's just sort of stacking them on on a table or something so like no i wonder how many books i've got or when i count i'm not going to count the oh okay one

two three four five six seven eight twelve thirty forty fifty sixty seventy eighty ninety twenty twenty one twenty two twenty three twenty four twenty five twenty six twenty seven twenty eight twenty nine 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 9, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7,

8, 9, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 1, 2, 3,

4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 60, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 70, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 100, 80, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 90, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 90 OK, so there's over 200, blimey, wow, there's over pretty much 200 hypnosis books, or hypnosis related books, I've also got some psychotherapy books, I've got other books, there's a big pile of books at the bottom which are story books, fiction,

so I've got a few of them I tried to replace some of the old books from my childhood, such as Adrian Moll, and, where's the book, the very first book I ever had, I must have told you about this, the very first book I ever had, I've got a copy of it, I found it online, online Here's the first Buddhist book I ever got, and it's Meaningful to Behold, Bodhivatsva Way of Life, from Geshe Kelsang Gyatso I bought this, I probably bought it in, I don't know, 2000s probably, maybe late 90s,

it's hard to tell, yeah, I mean I might have even bought it in 96, it's possible, yeah, I'm thinking I might have bought it in 96 But it is, it was the first, no it's not the first Buddhist book I got, but I think it's the second, one of the first ones I got, and it's really good actually, it's really good, it's, I'm not going to do it any justice by reading any of it to you I'll read a little bit, ok Being able to eliminate the two obstructions,

let's have a look at this, being able to eliminate, er, er, er, er, where is it, why is it not, ok As was mentioned earlier, there are two sets of obstructions that affect the mind, the obstructions to liberation and to omniscience, bodhicitta has the power to eliminate both of these, it's like the moon dispelling the unbearable suffering of sentient beings by caused, being caused by delusion Ok, erm, I've no idea what I'm talking about, I'll do a little bit, I used to more, possibly, I really want to know what happened to that book,

it was the, erm, the Jackanory book, I found it, no I haven't It's the Jackanory, and it's basically the very first book I ever owned, and I found it online, I've been talking about it for years and years and years, and I'm looking, I'm trying to talk to you and look behind me at the same time I've no idea where it is, but that book helped me to learn to read, really, it was a big influence on my life, and I had that, it was the first book I ever had,

the first book I ever read It was, I mean as far as I know, I might have had books when I was absolutely tiny without any memory, but it's the first book I ever remember having, and I got it off of a jumble sale at the children's home, and I took it everywhere Honestly, it was my pride and joy, it was my, yeah it was my everything that little book, and I kept reading it, I mean it's etched in my mind, here's a story about Jackanory, and now my story's begun,

here's another about Jack and his brother, and now my story's done That was the very first page, little rhyme that was on there, let me just turn around and see if I can see where it is This and that book, where is it? That's going to bug me now, it's got to be somewhere, I definitely haven't chucked it out, I wouldn't do that, well I would, I mean I have, but I have chucked stuff away Um, yeah I had a little bit of a, I don't know where it is, oh is that it there?

Have I found it?

I think I've found it, nope, that's not it, I don't know where it is, I'm sitting down now Woah, you've got to do that when you get to my edge, you've got to make a weird sound when you sit down I'm going to find that book, I'm not going to do it now, I'm not going to do it today, but one day I will find it, and when I find it, well probably nothing really, I'll know where it is when I, that's about it Yeah, that was a bit of an unexciting climax So yeah, haven't got much to say today, as per normal Oh yeah, so, er, what was I going to do?

Finny, I actually closed the door to the living room today, because he's so reactive, any time a neighbour opens their front door, he just, he kickstarts his little motor in his, in his barking motor And, you know what earlier, he wouldn't touch his food, do you want to eat it?

So I chucked away one bowl of food, because it was there for hours, and he still was like, I'm hungry now, so I give him some more food, another packet of fresh food, and he wouldn't touch it, he kept looking at it So I picked the bowl up, I went and sat down on the sofa Ooh, one of the books has just moved Ooh, and he came and sat next to me And I thought, well, you're going to need to eat, you have to have something to eat,

you can't just not eat So I fed him, by hand, and he ate it Now, I don't know if that's just what he needed, he needed a bit of parenting, or a bit of loving, or a bit of, I don't know what it's called But, I picked up my hand, I put it in the palm of my hand, and he ate it out of the palm of my hand A whole, all of the food, the whole packet of food, from the bowl And then I gave him the bowl,

and he licked the bowl out But even when I gave him the bowl, when he was sitting next to me, he wouldn't eat out of it Until I put it in, put my hand in, and gave it to him And he ate it out of the palm of my hand Now, I've never, I think I, when I very first got him, I used to spoon feed him Or feed him off of a fork Because he didn't know who I was, I guess maybe he didn't He was, he wasn't,

he didn't want to eat, because he was, he didn't want a beer, basically And, that's when he first moved in, which was December last, not last year, but the year before, December 2022 And, he, I used to feed him with a fork, or with a spoon or something, for the first few days And then he started eating himself, he didn't eat himself, he ate the food, but he used to sort of eat it out of a bowl And then, even then he was like picky,

and now and then he wouldn't eat it The two months that Logie lived here, I fed them both at the same time And Vinnie would eat all his food up really quick Because he knew that if he didn't eat it before Logie finished, Logie would eat his food Now, I did stop Logie from getting to his food, but he knew that eventually, you know, because I can't, I suppose I could have picked the bowl up Or fed them in different rooms, but, it got him into a routine I put his food down,

what I would do is put his food down first And keep Logie away, and take my time getting the food ready for Logie Because he'd have like twice, three times as much anyway, because he was a big dog And then Vinnie could have a head start, instead of stuffing it all down too quickly And then when Vinnie was probably half way through, I'd give Logie his food And they generally ended around the same time, they completed around the same time Which sort of worked out okay Sometimes,

if he was a bit cheeky, Vinnie would go and start eating his food, while he was eating it Try and push him out of the way Which is funny to see a tiny little dog try and push a really big dog It's kind of a weird, a weird scenario Because, when Vinnie went downstairs, good as gold, he used to run around and get all excited But, Logie, it was Logie's place, it was Logie's home, Vinnie got excited, but he didn't He did eat Logie's food,

just the way that Logie eats Andre's food He'd just dry food Logie, or help himself, and Vinnie did the same down there Blimey, that's a big bang But then, you know, they'd like help each other to each other's food But for those two months that they were both living up here, Vinnie started to be territorial And he wouldn't, he didn't want Logie to have his bones And he used to growl at him If Logie came anywhere near him when he was chewing his bones,

Vinnie would start growling And I just wasn't comfortable with that I don't think it was, I mean, Logie loved him And he loved Logie, they loved each other, but there was definitely, occasionally, some tension in the air My problem was, I don't think that Logie would have ever, if they had, they did have arguments And it did come to, nearly come to blows a couple of times But I don't think it would have really come to blows I don't, you know, not really, it got very loud But, I don't, yeah,

I don't think that Logie would ever have done anything He's all mouth, there's an old saying in England, all mouth no trousers And that's what he is, he's all mouth no trousers You know, he barks at dogs in the street now, this is a new thing he's been doing He did it today, he was barking and barking and barking So I said to the owner of the dog, the other dog, his wife, he says hello So he said yeah, it's fine Vinnie went up to the other dog barking and just laid on his back,

all submissive Put his belly in the air So he's not barking in a, he's just excited or, let's run away together, I don't know what he's saying to them Rescue me from this weird man Right, that might be what he's telling everyone, who knows I just did a bit of gas, ooh So, I'm still in the process of uploading the Deep Sleep Whisper recordings To the podcast, to that podcast, but I should have it done in the next couple of days, it just takes ages When I've done that,

I might look at making some new ones But for now, I do believe this is another podcast not worth transcribing I don't think I'm going to get any useful information from this PDF file From transcribing it, because that's the problem These AI things that can talk to files, you know, text files That have been transcribed from an audio file That asks you questions, but because it's, apparently, I'm too jumbled up Apparently, we all know it's not true, but apparently according to the AI I don't stick on one subject I seem to move around too much We all know that I stick to one subject,

and I'm very concise and clear At all times, I pick one subject, and I stick on it, and I stay with it Until it's ended, and then I move to the next one And then, Andre's dad said, do you want to come to the I'm not going to, I was going to do a different story then, but I won't But I did go to the races with him, and I was surprised, it was quite enjoyable Quite enjoyable, it was pretty cold, because by then it was about September time So September in the evening,

it's a bit chilly, but yeah, it was cool So I'm going to go, I'm going to go, not long before I go to bed So thank you for listening Remember, remember to be kind to yourself Because you do deserve to be happy Why not? Why shouldn't you be happy?

And remember to be gentle, I mean, with yourself, maybe with other people as well, if that's needed Just be a little bit gentle, a bit more gentle Notice, what I would say, is something that I try to do Is, maybe not now, because you're probably quite relaxed and calm, and maybe you're already asleep But tomorrow, or whenever you're kind of back thinking about stuff, or whatever you're doing, work or whatever Start to notice the kinds of things you're saying to yourself What tone you're using, what words you're using And that old question that I've been asking for, blimey, nearly two decades now Would you say that to a small child?

Would you talk to your, another version, would you talk to a small child the way that you're talking to yourself? Would you use that same tone to a small child? Someone that you love dearly, whether it's your own kid, a niece, nephew, grandchild Or just a stranger, you know, a kid that you've never met A three year old, two year old, ten year old, it doesn't matter Would you walk up to a kid and talk to them that way?

Or, you could look at it this way, would you say that to a really, really elderly person that's unwell? Right, I'm going to go now, because Vinnie's started barking for no reason So take care, lots of love, bye Do you want to do a bark? That's a no, is it? Is that a no? That flappy ear, is that a no?