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Hello and welcome to Vinnie and JJ's Juicy Monday Show! Yeah! Go on, take it away Vinnie! Ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff! Hello, hello, ha ha ha ha, hello! Welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name is Jason Newland and my website is jasonnewland.com and my other website for the Let Me Bore You To Sleep podcast is letmeboilyou.com So, I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
No! Yeah I am, but don't, no please! I'm going to, no! Okay, what I'm going to do is this.
By the way, all of my recordings are still on Spreaker. Well, I've uploaded them again onto Spreaker. But just the ones without the music.
Just gives you another option in case you like Spreaker. I always liked Spreaker. And, you know, anyway.
But I can only have stuff without music. The same as YouTube doesn't allow me to have anything with background music. So I made a couple of videos, well I made one video today, one video yesterday.
The Journey to Inner Calm. And today I did, number one, Try to Stay Awake Hypnosis Challenge. And I'm going to do one of them every day.
So it's just ten minutes long. So, just a bit of fun isn't it, eh? A bit of fun. So what I might do, I'm going to go to Claude.
I'm going to do an introduction, see what the introduction is going to be. I'm going to read this introduction, see if it sounds like me. Do a short podcast introduction for Jason Newlands.
Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Yeah, you're right, I am a fast typer. Here we go.
Do a short podcast introduction. Here is a short podcast introduction of Jason Newlands, Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Here we go.
It's got to be in a slow, calm voice. Are you ready? So this is how AI thinks that I talk. Welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep.
The podcast that helps you to drift off into a peaceful slumber. I'm your host, Jason Newland. And I'll be your guide on this journey to the land of Nod.
In each episode, I'll share some stories. I'll share soothing stories. Calming meditations and tranquil tales.
All in my signature slow and monotonous style. I haven't got a slow and monotonous style, have I? No more tossing and turning. No more racing thoughts.
Just relax, get cosy and let my droning voice. Droning? Really? Droning. Lull you into a deep and restful sleep.
Whether you're curled up in bed, stretched out on the couch. Or unwinding in your favourite chair. I'm here to help you leave the stresses of the day behind.
And embrace the serenity of sleep. So get comfortable. Close your eyes and Let Me Bore You To Sleep.
Sweet dreams. To be fair, it's making me feel a bit tired. Now, I've been doing this, sorry again, just trod on him.
I've been doing this for 18 years. And this thing's even already better than I am. No more tossing and turning.
Let me, let my droning voice. I'm sorry, I mean, okay. I know the title is Let Me Bore You To Sleep.
But have I got a droning voice? Have I? And I've never ever used the term land of nod. It's kind of not how I talk. I'll share soothing stories.
Tranquil tales. I don't think I've ever used the word tranquil in my life apart from just then. Soothing.
They're really good words. And then it says all in my signature slow and monotonous style. What do you mean monotonous? I don't have a monotonous voice.
Do you think I've got a monotonous voice? I don't think I've got a monotonous voice. I'm just impressed that I can say the word monotonous. My voice is very exciting.
I'm sure you agree. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. Wow.
So instead of that, I just say, what do I normally just say? Hello, welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. It's a little bit too enthusiastic, maybe. I don't know.
So I ask it to be more enthusiastic. More enthusiastic. Okay.
So I'll do a more enthusiastic version. Shall I? You ready? It's an upbeat, enthusiastic voice. Are you ready for this? This is going to be incongruent as well because I'm just reading some of it.
It should be okay. So this is Claude, Claude three. And it's like chat, GTP, TP thing.
So upbeat, enthusiastic voice. I'm not supposed to say that bit. Hey there, sleep seekers.
Get ready to catch some serious Z's. Well, that's Z's in this country. But with Jason Newland, Let Me Bore You To Sleep.
The podcast that's putting the yawn back into bedtime story. I'm your host, Jason Newland. And I'm here to make sure you get the best rest ever.
Each episode, I'll be sharing tales. So tedious. This is incongruent, isn't it? I'm going to be sharing episodes.
So tedious. Anecdotes so uninteresting. And meditation so mind numbing.
You'll be snoozing in no time. Trust me. You haven't experienced boredom until you've heard my monotonous rumblings.
So grab your coziest PJs. Fluff up the pillow. And get ready to drift off into dreamland.
Join Newland in dreamland. That's me. I added that bit.
I'm quite pleasing myself. Whether you're a night owl in need of a nudge. What? A night owl in need of a nudge.
What does that mean? Or an early bird looking to catch some extra winks. I've got just the thing to make your eyelids feel heavy. Forget counting sheep.
Just tune in, zone out, and Let Me Bore You To Sleep. And then it says yawn exaggeratedly. Which I do anyway.
But that's just me yawning. Because I do this when I'm tired. So that's why yawn exaggeratedly.
Oops, I should try... I guess that's an exaggerated one. Oops, looks like it's working already. Sweet dreams everyone.
OK. Shall we do the over exaggerated? Now... Over... Exaggerated. So now an over exaggerated one.
That was kind of... That was enthusiastic. So let's have a... OK. Overly enthusiastic.
Almost manic voice. OK. Right, here we go.
See, this is so incongruent. It's ridiculous because... It's basically saying to shout. I'm not going to shout.
But to be really... And talk about how I'm going to... It's funny. Anyway. I've got a bit of gas.
That was the chair. That sounded like a squeaky fart. It wasn't.
It was actually the chair. Trust me. I own up to my fart.
Well, you know. OK. Overly enthusiastic.
Almost manic voice. Again, I'm not supposed to tell you that bit. OK.
Are you ready? I'm going to move away from the microphone. I'm not going to shout. I'm just going to try and put on a thing.
I'll try and do it. I think I've already done it. I think the last one was about as enthusiastic as I can get.
But. Here we try. Here we try.
Here we go. Hello! Sleep warriors. Are you ready for the most mind blowing boring podcast in the history of ever? It's Jason Newland's let me build you sleep.
And it's going to revolutionize the way you catch those precious Zs. I'm your host, Jason Newland. And I'm on a mission to make bedtime the most shoes-tastic part of your day.
Each and every episode. I'll be unleashing a tsunami of tedium, an avalanche of apathy, and a whirlwind of weariness that'll have you begging for a one-way ticket to Snoozeville. So grab your fluffiest blanket, your comfiest jammies, and get ready to blast off into the stratosphere of slumber, whether you're a hardcore insomniac or just a casual nap enthusiast.
A casual nap enthusiast, really? Okay, I've got the ultimate weapon in the fight against wakefulness, my voice! Forget energy drinks, forget caffeine, Jason, you don't let me fall asleep, it's the only thing. Oh god, my voice is going. You will ever need to achieve total sleep domination.
Forget energy drinks, forget caffeine. So what they're saying is, instead of drinking energy drinks or coffee, listen to me instead because that doesn't make sense. It's the only thing, you need to achieve total sleep domination.
And it says yells. Are you ready to be bored beyond your belief? And then hit that play button and let the yawning begin! And then it says, snores loudly and obnoxiously. I don't know.
Okay, now sarcastically. Let's see if we can do that one, that sounds a bit more down to my liking. I can't do any more of the screeching, just doing my voice.
It's quite uncomfortable in fact. Sarcastic deadpan voice. So this is the introduction in a sarcastic voice, or a sarcastic introduction.
Are you ready? Are you ready? Did I say only listen when you can safely close your eyes? Sorry if I didn't. Oh, great! Another podcast that promises to cure insomnia. How original.
It's not like there are a million other boring podcasts out there claiming to do the same thing. But sure, let's give Jason Newland's Let Me Bored Asleep a chance, yeah? Okay, well I'm your host, Jason Newland. And I'm here to put you to sleep with my incredibly monotonous voice and riveting stories about watching paint dry.
Each episode I'll drone on and on about the most uninteresting topics imaginable, like the history of beige or the fascinating world of lint. So if you're desperate enough to try anything to fall asleep, go ahead, give this podcast a listen. Who knows, maybe my dull, lifeless voice will be just the thing to make you question your life choices and finally push you over the edge into unconsciousness.
That's funny. Oh wow. But hey, don't take my word for it, I'm just the guy who thinks he's got the cure for insomnia.
It's not like I have anything better to do than record myself talking in a monotone voice for hours on end. So if you're ready to... I'll read that again. But hey, don't take my word for it, I'm just the guy who thinks he's got the cure for insomnia.
It's not like I have anything better to do than record myself talking in a monotone voice for hours on end. So if you're ready to subject yourself to the audio-cruelty of watching grass grow, then by all means tune in to Jason Newland's Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Sweet dreams, or whatever.
Wow. That was a little bit too much on the nose that was, really, wasn't it? The fact that I just spent hours and hours recording myself. Wow.
Oh, what other ways of... Okay, I've got another one. Now, here we go. Now, apologetic.
This is an apologetic version. And it's got to be in sincere voice. Apologetic, sincere voice.
Okay, here we go. Hey there, listeners. I want to apologise in advance for what you're about to hear.
Jason Newland's Let Me Bore You To Sleep is basically my attempt at helping people fall asleep. But I realise that my methods might not be for everyone. Sorry about that.
I'm your host, Jason Newland. And I genuinely want to help you to get a good night's rest, but I know that my voice and the topics I choose to discuss might not be the most exciting or engaging. And I understand if you find my stories a bit dull or my tone a little too monotonous.
It's a new word I've just learnt recently. I just want you to know that... My dog keeps barking. Shush, Finny.
I just want you to know... Shut up. Downstairs, I've got the music up very loud. Shh.
Calm. Calm, mate. I just want you to know that I'm not trying to intentionally bore you or make you feel like you're wasting your time.
My goal is simply to provide a calming and relaxing atmosphere that might help you drift off to sleep. I mean, if it works for you, that's great. If not, I completely understand.
So, if you're willing to give Jason Newland's Let Me Bore You To Sleep a chance, I appreciate your patience and understanding. And if you find that this podcast isn't quite your cup of tea, all I can do is apologise for any disappointment or frustration you might feel. And at the end of the day, I'm just trying my best to help in my own unique way.
So, thank you for giving me a chance, and I hope that even if I don't succeed in boring you to sleep, you'll find the rest and relaxation you deserve somewhere else. Sweet dreams, and once again, I apologise if this isn't quite what you're looking for. Wow, and that is three.
Should we do negative, because it's pretty similar isn't it? Now, really negative. Oh, nope. I've just put now, really.
Okay. Now, just not what I wanted. Now, really negative.
I'll wait until the other one's gone in. So, I put now, really, and it's given me a... Here's the introduction in a warm, authentic voice. No, that's not what I want.
I want it just to be silly. I want silly stuff. Now, really negative.
Here we go. So, this is... Here's the introduction in a highly negative tone. Bitter, resentful voice.
Wow, okay. I've never done that type of voice before, but I'll give it a go. Wow, I'll just see what it's like.
This is pretty harsh, man. So, just remember, this is not real. Okay, this is just an AI.
So, bitter, resentful voice. Well, well, well. Look who's desperate enough to listen to Jason Newland's Let Me Bore You To Sleep.
I guess you've hit rock bottom, huh? Can't sleep. No, I'm not going to read this. It's even too negative for me.
No, I'm not reading that. I'm sorry. I can't.
Because that's not how I feel, and I don't feel the way the others either, but that's just too wrong. Okay, read in a way of someone who has problems saying the words sleep. Problems saying the words sleep.
I'm just wondering what it would do. Sleep, or any words like that. That mean the same thing.
So, read in a way of someone who has problems saying the words sleep, or any words that mean the same thing. I know it might seem a strange thing to request, but considering it's a sleep recording, I wonder what it would come up with. A voice of someone struggling to say sleep, and related words.
Here we go. I'll see. Oh, here we go.
Hey there, listener. Welcome to Jason Newland's Let Me Bore You To Slumber. No, wait.
I mean, Let Me Bore You To... You know, that thing you do at night in bed with your eyes closed. Yeah, that. Nope.
What? Tell me. I can think of more than one thing. I'm your host, Jason Newland, and I'm here to help you drift into some... Oh, for crying out loud.
I'm here to help you get some rest. Yeah, rest. Okay? Each episode, I'll be sharing stories and meditations that are so boring, so mind-numbingly dull.
You'll be nodding off in no time. Yeah, that's it. Nodding off.
Not the other word. So if you're ready to... Duh... Doze... Doze off. No, wait, that's too close to the other word.
If you're ready to relax and unwind, then this is the podcast for you. Just don't expect me to say the word. You know, the word.
The word. Sleep. Or any of its synonyms, because apparently I have a bit of a problem with that.
Anyway, that's a bit weird. Anyway. Sweet... Forget it.
Goodnight. Whatever. Okay, that was a bit silly.
Now, read it in a way as if written in French, but translated into English. I'm not quite sure how that would... I know what I mean. I've got to do a French accent for this.
It's telling me that I have to do a French accent. Don't blame me for that, okay? Right. I'm not choosing to do the French accent.
I don't want to do the French accent. I really don't, but I've got to do what it tells me. Okay.
Bonjour, my dear listener. Welcome to Jason Norris' Let Me Bore You To Sleep. The podcast that will transport you to the realm of dreams and slumber.
I'm your host, Jason Newland. It is with great pleasure that I accompany you on this journey towards a restful night. Each episode I will regale you with tales and meditations of an unparalleled dullness.
Carefully crafted to lull into a state of complete and utter burden. But do not fear, my friends. For it is this very burden that will guide you to gently towards the embrace of sleep.
As you listen to me voice as monotonous as a summer's day in the countryside, you will feel your eyelids grow heavy, your mind drifts away, and your body surrender to the haul of the sandman. So make yourself comfortable, my listeners. Nest yourself in my bosom, no, in your bed, as if it were a cocoon of tranquility.
Inherit yourself to be enveloped to the soothing blanket of my few words, and it will carry you off to the realm of dreams. For it is there in this podcast that you will find the key to unlocking the secrets of a good night's sleep. Trust in me, Jason Newland, your faithful guide on this voyage to serenity.
Sweet dreams, my friends. May the night bring you peace. And me my dulcet tones in a hallowed B lullaby that sends you off to sleep.
Until we meet again in the realm of dreams. So, sorry about the French accent. I haven't done one before, so I hope that was okay.
And, yeah, I was hoping it would actually be more like the speaking. You know where the words aren't the same, it's not the same order as it is in English. So I don't know, it's like, the boat is moored, the boat is in the garden.
It's like, the garden is where the boat is. I don't know if that makes sense. This is my very, very limited knowledge of languages.
Learn to do it phonetically in... What language should I do? Perhaps I shouldn't do any languages. Phonetically. Is there any other ways I could do an introduction? What could it be? I could do an introduction in a... Okay, do intro in style of... Let's see if this will do.
Okay, this is the style of a train spotter. Oi mates, welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep, the podcast that's like spotting the rarest locomotive for years. For your ears.
Yeah, for your ears. I'm your host, and I'm here to shunt you into the sidings of slumber with me train-tastic tales and shunting yard meditations. Each episode, I'll be coupling together the most mind-numbingly mundane stories, marshalling them into a consist of pure tedium that'll have you reaching the terminus of tiredness in record time.
We'll be covering all the classic sleep induction topics from the fascinating history of railway sleepers to the riveting world of train timetables. And if that doesn't get your eyelids feeling heavier than a loaded goods weapon, wagon rather, I don't know what will. So grab your anorak, settle it into your favourite armchair as if it were a first-class carriage, and get ready to embark on a journey to the land of nod.
With me as your driver, you'll be chugging along the tracks to tranquillity in no time. And don't worry, if you find yourself drifting off mid-journey, that's the whole point. Just think of it as a short stop at a sleepy rural station before we continue on our way.
So all aboard the Bore Express. Let's set off on this rail adventure together and see if we can spot some serious snoozing along the way. Full steam ahead to Sleepsville.
Me hearties. Wow. Sort of a really strange... I kind of want to do stamp collectors now.
I don't know why. Stamp collectors. I don't know why.
I just... I guess... Looking for a new hobby. So this could be... I mean, if someone was a stamp collector, and they're willing to... I don't know. Most people wouldn't class their hobby as boring.
And I've got a lot of time for anyone that's got a hobby that they love doing. Whether it's stamp collecting, whether it's coin collecting, whether it's train spotting. It doesn't matter.
It's just they're loving what they're doing. And that's the thing. That's the secret, I think.
So here's a stamp collector's version. Enthusiastic, slightly nerdy voice. Wow.
That's a bit uncalled for. Hello, fellow philatelists. I don't know if that's the right word.
And sleep enthusiasts. Welcome to Jason Newland Sleep. The podcast that combines the thrilling world of stamp collecting with the soothing art of slumber.
I'm your host, and I'm here to help you drift off to dreamland with the most fascinating stories from the world of stamps. Each episode, I'll be carefully curating, or selection, a selection of tales about the most rare, obscure, and mind-numbingly dull stamps from around the globe. No stamp collector would ever say that.
Because they love it. It's like, it's exciting. I was a stamp collector once.
It was a Saturday afternoon. There was nothing on telly. I was about 12, I think.
We'll explore the rich history behind every perforated rectangle. Delving deep into the miniature rectangle. Stamps are square.
Stamps are square here. Are there rectangles in other countries? Delving deep into the minutiae of watermarks, gum varieties, and printing techniques. And if that doesn't make your eyelids feel as heavy as a full sheet of Penny Blacks, then I don't know what will.
So, grab your tongs, and your magnifying glass, and get ready to embark on a journey through the sleepy world of philately. Whether you're a seasoned collector, or just looking for a novel way to nod off, this podcast is the perfect addition to your bedtime routine. As we explore each stamp, I invite you to imagine yourself gently placing it into your album.
The soft rustlings of hinges, and the gentle whisper of catalogue numbers lulling you into a peaceful slumber. And if you find yourself drifting off mid-episode, worry not, that's a sign of a successful philatelyic adventure. So, let's all open our albums, turn to a fresh page, and begin our journey into the drowsy depths of stamp collecting.
Who knows what sleepy treasures await us in this perforated path to relaxation? So, sweet dreams, my fellow collectors, and happy stamping! Hello there, all you shoe lovers and snooze-enthusiastics. Welcome to this podcast that combines the fabulous world of footwear with the soothing art of slumber. I'm your host, and I'm here to help you strut your way to dreamland with the most captivating stories from the world of shoes.
Each episode I'll be carefully selecting a collection of tales about the most stylish, unique and yawn-inducing shoes from every corner of the globe. We'll explore the fascinating history behind every heel, sole and lace. Delving deep into the details of cobbling techniques, leather treatments and iconic shoe designs.
And if that doesn't make your eyelids feel as heavy as a pair of steel-toed work boots, then I don't know what will. So grab your shoehorn and your favourite pair of slippers and get ready to embark on a journey through the drowsy world of shoes. Whether you're a die-hard sneakerhead or just looking for a new way to drift off, this podcast is the perfect fit for your bedtime routine.
And as we unbox each shoe story, I invite you to imagine yourself slipping into a brand new pair of kicks. The soft whisper of leather and the gentle squeeze of a perfect fit lulling you into a peaceful slumber. And if you find yourself nodding off mid-episode, don't worry, that's just a sign that you've found your soulmate in sleepiness.
So let's lace up, kick back and begin our journey into the cosy depths of the shoe world. Who knows what dreamy designs and sleepy styles await us on this footwear-filled path to relaxation. Sweet dreams, my fellow shoe fanatics, and may your sleep be as comfy as a pair of well-worn slippers.
Okay, I've pushed this too far. I'm going to stop now. Or is there one more I could do? Is there? Is there? Possibly? One more? What do you reckon? One more? What do you think that's? Yeah, I've overdone it.
How about one more? One more? I don't know. What do you reckon? How about very strict? No. What about very, very, very, very, this time, very, very? So I'll just have a look.
I don't have to do this. So it's a very timid and hesitant style. Hello, I'm, yeah, hi, I'm Jason and this is, this is my podcast.
Well, this actually sounds like me, doesn't it? Blimey. I hope that's okay. I thought maybe if you're having trouble sleeping, I could, well, try to help.
I mean, if you don't want to, that's fine too. No pressure. So in each episode, you choose to listen.
If you choose to listen, I'll try to tell some stories and maybe do some meditations. They might be a bit boring, but that's the point, I guess, to help you fall asleep. I'm not very good at this.
I apologize if it's not, it's not very helpful. I just thought maybe it could make a difference for someone, but, but I understand if it's not for you. If you, if you decide to listen, I, I suggest getting comfortable, maybe in a bed or, or wherever you like to sleep.
Really, it's up to you. And if you, if you want to, if you really want, you can close your eyes, close your eyes, but only if you, if that feels okay. And I'll do my best to speak softly and slowly.
I don't want to disturb you or keep you awake. Because that, that would, I guess that would defeat the object, the purpose, wouldn't it? So if you're ready, we can, we can begin. And if not, that, that's okey dokey too.
Okay. No worries. So I hope this helps you a little bit.
And, and if it doesn't, I'm sorry, I'm trying my best. I guess that's it for now. Thank you for considering listening.
And I hope you have a good night. Sweet dreams. And if you managed to have any, if you haven't, yeah, sweet dreams, if you, if you managed to have any with my boring stories.
Good night for now and, and sleep well if you can. Blimey. Yeah, so that's, that's another version.
I don't think, oh, I just banged the microphone. I don't think that's, does that seem more like how I talk? I don't know. I don't think so.
Were any of those versions anything like me? I do. Now I've noticed I've started to get messages to my phone from adverts. I never used to get stuff like that.
So I wonder where they're coming from. I wonder who's given them my number. Oh well.
It's a lot, it's the second one today. I had one of those messages saying, we couldn't, we can't deliver your package. We just need you to contact us because we can't deliver your package.
It's like, yeah, okay. You know, it's like, just deliver the package. Because packages get paid for before they're sent.
You don't, they don't like, they don't, it was like, just guess how much it's going to cost. You want that delivered to America. Okay, San Francisco.
Yeah, it's probably going to cost $20 roughly. No, they're going to give you a precise amount and charge. It might be $18.
It might be $23. I'm not sure. I'll tell you what we'll do.
If you just give me $15 now. And then when it gets to the other end, I'll just contact them and they can pay the rest. How about that? No, probably not.
Probably not, baby. So it's Monday, the 11th of March, 2024. Yeah, the Navy's playing music quite loud tonight.
Doesn't normally do that. So I was wondering if I was making a bit too much noise earlier. It is possible.
You know, it is possible. I mean, when I was doing a podcast earlier, maybe I was a bit loud. Plus Vinnie barks and stuff.
So I can't, I'm never going to be able to complain. I wouldn't complain about noise anyway, because it's not bothering me. But I couldn't because of him because he makes more noise than anyone.
Especially when he goes into one. Because once he starts barking, he can't seem to stop. I don't know what it is.
And another thing, he's started barking at big dogs now. Never used to do that. He's now doing it pretty much, well, regularly, daily.
He's barking at least, at two, at least one dog, or at one dog, a different dog. And not just one dog, just every day, it's different dogs. And they're all big.
And I don't know why he's doing it. I don't understand what his problem is. And then I remember the other day, I think it was last week, he was running around the field with about three other dogs.
So I let him off and they were just having a lot of fun. But one of the dogs, all the other dogs were little, except one dog, which was probably three times bigger than him. Still not a big dog, but it's bigger than him.
And that dog was kind of dominating him a bit. At one point, pushed him up against a fence, like playing, but was really maybe bullying. I don't know.
I'm not quite sure how dogs work in their minds, but he didn't seem to enjoy it. And I was laughing, but I didn't know I wasn't. But it looked like just playing.
Because ultimately, if he wasn't happy, he'd just come back to me, wouldn't he? But I think he's come to realize that the bigger dogs, he can't, it's not an equal play, because they're too strong. And they just, they've got the upper hand physically. So playing wise, all he's got to do is put some of this, put the paw on him and he's stuck to the ground.
And he doesn't like that. And also, even though he's a really fast runner, the big dogs are faster because they've got longer legs. Their legs are as long as his body, some of them.
And he can't keep up with them. So when he's just with little dogs, he can outrun or equal pretty much every other little dog that's around him. But some of the bigger dogs, some of the bigger dogs, he can outrun because they're just big and heavy.
But, you know, the younger ones definitely seem to be able to overtake him. And I don't know, maybe that's what it is. Maybe it's because every time we're near a big dog, I yell in his ear.
Big dog, don't bark! And maybe that's what gets him going. I don't know. Who knows.
He seems happy enough. He hasn't had his dinner yet. Took him out for a walk earlier, before I did this recording.
Took him out for a walk and it was just after six o'clock. It's now just before eight. And we did a... Yeah, it wasn't dark yet.
It was getting dark, but it wasn't dark. I could still see the grass to pick up his droppings, as it were. And once it gets dark, I have to use my torch.
Not to pick it up, but to see where it is. And... I'll tell you what it is. I don't think it's the case that the neighbour's got louder music.
It's different types of music. It's not really like rave kind of stuff. So I'm guessing there's someone down there that she's got that likes to listen to that stuff.
So it's just different music. Usually it's more... I don't know. I can't really hear it normally.
I can hear it a little bit, but I can't really tell you who's singing. But I don't care, to be honest. It's just... It's just that if you only hear music, you listen, don't you? Like, oh, who's playing? What's going on? Who is it? This sounds like a nightclub, nightclub music.
Maybe it is. I haven't been in a nightclub since 2001, I think. Maybe 2004.
It's been quite a while. Yeah, there used to be a nightclub above the comedy club called the Bedroom Bar. Also owned by my friend who owned the comedy club.
It was in the same building, but it was upstairs. And so that used to open... It'd be open at the same time as the comedy club. You know, it'd open about 9, 10 or whatever, and people would come in, and it'd be open till, I don't know, 2, 3 in the morning.
And the comedy club would close about... I think it closed at 1 o'clock on a Friday and 2 o'clock on a Saturday, the comedy club, I think. And then sometimes we'd go upstairs afterwards. But generally it'd be closed by then, so they'd close upstairs and then we'd go up and sit around and that.
If I remember rightly. It was a little bit muddled, to be fair, a little bit. Do that really happen? I'm not sure.
I think he might have done. I'd just like... Does it matter? Not really, I guess. So I don't know.
Seems like a lifetime away, and I guess in some ways it is. I think 23 years since I was a DJ. Playing songs, playing Robbie Williams, playing I Will Survive, ABBA.
I mean, it's amazing. You used to get a lot of hen nights, and that would be like bachelorette. So I think in America you've got bachelor parties and bachelorette parties.
In the UK it's stag nights for the men, hen nights for the ladies. I mean, that's what it used to be. I don't know if it's still that way.
And it wasn't just on hen nights. There'd be groups. It wouldn't just be the whole club would be a hen night.
There'd be maybe a table of 30 women or 30 men on their hen night or stag night. And at the end of the night we'd pull the tables, make some room in the middle of the night club, of the comedy club, for people to dance. Because it'd always be generally, there'd always be probably about at least a third of people leave.
A quarter or something would leave after the comedy because they were there for that. But then, you know, sometimes a lot of people would stay for the disco. Some people were there for the disco.
And it was really weird. There's like a couple of songs, a few songs that you always, I'd put it on and the first line you'd hear a scream. And one would be Dancing Queen.
And people would be jumping up dancing. Other one is Wake Me Up Before You Go Go by Wham. And then one, what's the other one? I Will Survive, Gloria Gaynor I think.
I Will Survive. At first I was afraid and I was petrified. and trying to think what other ones.
Abba, Abba, Abba, Abba. Come on Eileen. Come on Eileen.
That was another one. That was kind of a night closer really though because it'd be quite a the ending of the night. I mean it's a good one to start with but you know it's nice to have a big one to end.
I used to like to play Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life but that was just for me because it was just I just liked that song. I'm trying to think of some other songs that were it's such a long time ago man. Songs that were really really popular were basically anything that the women liked to listen to because for whatever reason back then.
Okay I'm just talking quite a long time ago. I would say 99% of the time unless women were dancing the men weren't dancing and probably 50% of the time it was just women dancing because there's groups of women together and those statistics aren't necessarily correct you know but I'm just saying it's I'm kind of I've always been like one of them men that just would stand there with a pint in my hand or coke or whatever in my hand and just be watching from a distance a safe distance.
Kind of like watching a I don't know like being in the jungle and you're looking you've got a tent and you're camouflaged and you're just watching to see whether or not the rhinocerosaurus turns up to see its cub to meet up with a penguin or whatever I don't know what they do to drink milk make cakes I don't know what I'm talking about now but yeah I because I was a DJ I didn't have to sort of stand you know stand around I was working so I could watch and I
just I liked it I liked it it had its challenges and some people just were never happy whatever you I don't like that song well if you wait for another 32 seconds the song will be over in fact the time it took you to get here and the time it takes you to get back to your chair or back to the bar will probably be 10 seconds into the next song so it was a bit of wasted energy wasn't it a bit pointless really wasn't it mate you know I mean
just coming here just to have a moan we don't know anything I remember I had some bloke come up to me says and that people would ask for the most obscure songs that were not disco songs that were not danceable it'd be like the smiths you know girlfriend in the coma or something like you can't dance to that man and I just some bloke came up to me said will you play and it was at Christmas I think when everyone was really party and it was it was hard work be
open six nights a week and he came up to me said I want the when you play this song I said well I haven't got it and he listed those songs then he said another song I said well that's not a disco song that's just you know that'll just empty the dance floor and they looked at me he tried to be aggressive he said okay well if you don't play this song I want whatever happens happens and he walked away whatever happens happens like all right should I tell you what
happened nothing you know why I played the song I did cleared cleared it through cleared the whole dance floor and I make matters worse he didn't even dance but he did wave to me from the bar he was enjoying it oh wow it's just it's not worth it sometimes it's like uh no I didn't play the song I'm still in hiding I'm still you know honestly I remember um I remember phoning Sal Saldy Rushdie once and this was like 20 years ago I said look you got no idea what it's
like you think you got it bad this bloke I didn't play his song I'm in hiding I'm forever I'm never gonna be able to come out hiding honestly this he's like he's got it in for me in for me in for me they've all got it in for me that's an old carry-on joke I love the carry-on movies I do it's the only only bunch of movies that I've always loved all the way through my life and I will always and even though I know I do struggle to watch them
a little bit to be honest I watched them at Christmas every year they put them all on like constantly is the lead up to Christmas or over Christmas so I do watch a few but I love them I love all the characters all the silly characters that are in them and yeah I do I don't know why I just I guess it's not even nostalgia it's more nostalgia maybe for for when I first watched them because it can't it's not nostalgic for when they came out because they weren't out I
mean they were out during my lifetime but the first ones were in the 50s and the 60s and the last lot were in the 70s so I was still a little kid when the last one was ever produced well of the proper season they did make a carry-on movie in the 90s and it didn't I think it's called carry-on Columbus and it kind of disappeared I don't think anyone's ever seen it since which is weird because they had all pretty much every main comedy star at the time in the UK
was in that movie and it still didn't still wasn't successful I'm going to check this as well because I don't understand surely it would have got a good successful weekend people would have gone to see it just for the sake that it was had so many stars if my remember rightly the stars that was is it was was in it was Cleary Julian Cleary 1992 it was the 31st and final release so the movies from 1958 to 1992 1978's carry-on Emmanuel was the last one again that wasn't it wasn't a
that wasn't a proper carry-on movie it was but it wasn't you know and so this one starred Jim Dale which he was one of the main stars of the other movies carry-on Doctor and everything Bernard Cribbin's another star from those days I mean Jim Dale is still around he's 88 years old brilliant and Maureen Lipman Peter Richardson Alexa Sayle Jack Douglas Rick Mayle Charles Fleischer Larry Miller Lesley Phillips Julian Cleary Sarah Crowe Rebecca Lacey Nigel Planer June Whitfield Richard Wilson loads of really famous comedy and this isn't just that there's
other ones you've got Keith Allen John Pertwee Larry Miller and Tony Slattery Martin Clunes I mean literally every it's like every sitcom or comedy actor in the country who seems to have been in it and they spent 2.5 million budget and they made 1.7 million in the box office and I don't understand I mean Peter Rogers was the executive producer it was directed by Gerald Thomas who I think didn't he do all of them didn't he he was namely best known for the long-running carry-on series so I don't know but
then to be fair he was born in 1920 ah so he was he kind of passed away the year after of not not he was born but of uh 92 1993 which meant that he might not have been so well when he the thing was being made be well blimey he actually directed 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 of the carry-on movies wow and he also directed bless this house
in 1972 which was a movie based on um I wonder if he he directed the tv show as well do you reckon I wonder because I'm just thinking the plot bless this house and Gerald Thomas Terry Scott as well as bless this house ah Sid James Diana Copeland Terry Scott June Whitfield so that's it was a tv but that was the movie the spin-off of the television sitcom bless this house okay created by Vincent Powell okay no he didn't William G Stewart okay no anyway William G Stewart I watched bless
this house Gerald Thomas it's a tv I liked it I remember hearing it it's like he used to start off ding ding ding like a the sound of a door doorbell do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do something like that and it was um Sid James and I was good really I used to I've seen it I didn't watch it at the time because it was 1971 to 1976 so I might have seen it when I was a kid in fact I
must have done because that's I remember the tune so I must have I think I see it around my nan and granddad's probably um because they'd still be showing me a piece wouldn't they after that as well so yeah I think I saw it around my nan and granddad's it's weird yeah but they show it on tv sometimes here 65 episodes and yeah I used to watch it I mean I've watched it this this this side of the century is this century I mean I I've got a penchant for watching
old sitcoms old british sitcoms and things like Terry and June what other ones stuff in the early 80s late 70s early 80s George and Mildred I just love all that stuff bless this house and yeah I don't know why I just even I mean sorry was Ronnie Corbett and that was in the probably middle 80s to early 90s I think but that was quite old-fashioned sitcom kind of format no I say old-fashioned because I'm not I like it I like that stuff I like I like lots of different things I
just realized that this normal way of me talking is a bit monotonous isn't it it's not supposed to I just normally sound monotonous and it's weird damn it damn damn damn so I'm gonna go now thank you thank you for listening I'm gonna go and get the stick the cooker on I need to eat and what's the time it is 19 past 20 yesterday all my trouble seems so far away that gets annoying in conversations with people that's why I do it so I I finished with plenty of time in
order to get my dinner ready and everything before nine o'clock but I didn't because I got so engrossed in what I was doing it was blimey it was a lot later for like 9 38 or something in the evening before I actually had my dinner just because I was like because I've got a lot of things now that I'm doing at the same time um and just trying to balance it all but I'm also trying to trying to make sure that I make at least one recording a day for the
Let Me Bore You To Sleep trying to now I realize this is only the second day in a row so I've not tried very hard or for very long but I'm gonna yeah I'm aiming at that and you know so I've got my book that I'm gonna try and do um I'll be making images for my podcast episodes that I'd lost like the the images I'd lost for old podcasts I'm trying to sort of do that um some other things as well that I'm doing so it's just in a few
months or a couple of months time I'd like my Let Me Bore You To Sleep podcast to be all up to date completely you know on it's going to be on um soundcloud which is also be available and have a other you know like Spotify and what different places but I just want some with all the different playlists and everything I want them to all to be done all updated also on my website as well my jason with the letmeboreyou.com I think it's holds up to 250 of the last 250
recordings I think which is not a lot is it I mean it is generally a lot for most people but for me it's not it's not really because you know when it's all done there's 1080 times that by four just for the Let Me Bore You To Sleep you know if I've got four recordings for each recording four different versions music without music music five and ten hour so that's like four thousand and 320 is that right something like that there's a lot it's a heck of a lot so I'm
still just let you know though in case you're still still awake I still update the website jasonnewland.com and the podcast is still available to download so every day I I make a new page for new recording every time I do a new recording so the Let Me Bore You To Sleep section is full of every new recording that I do um yeah that's it man yeah so I'm gonna go thank you thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy and be gentle with yourself lots of love bye
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.