(no music) #1097 - Maths Genius - Let Me Bore You To Sleep - 15th April 2024)

Hello, my cherubs, my sweet little potatoes. How are you doing? What am I talking about? Straight away it's gone weird. Hello, welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

My name is Jason Newland and I'm accompanied by Vinnie, Andre Newland, who is underneath the desk eating a pig's ear. It's a bit grim. But hey, he's also got a bone so you can choose between the two of them.

So only listen when you can safely close your eyes. So let's start with the business number one, number three, number nine. Any questions? So it's like a town meeting or something.

So first of all, before I tell you what I've been up to, and I'm going to be talking about I'm going to be going through newspapers today. I've signed up with PressReader, which is an app which is has a lot of the world's newspapers in there and you can read it, read the newspapers and stuff. And and magazines.

I've been with them before in the past. But the only issue, the only issue is the content of the news is. Okay, how should I word this? Not always the most positive.

Now, I know that perhaps I'm not always the most positive in these podcasts. I do try to keep it as light hearted as possible. I'm not here to to be a downer for people.

So but I do at the same time I do tell talk about. Real life things that are happening with me. And it's not all just being a human being.

It's not always going to be good, is it? It's not always going to be pleasant. Pleasant. So we'll see how it goes.

See how it goes. See if I can find some new stories that are I don't know interested. Excuse me.

So that's what I'm going to be doing in this podcast episode. It's Monday, the 15th of April 2024. And I'm still 53 years old.

For four months and 11 days. So may change a little bit. Yeah, wow.

I saw my dad yesterday for lunch. And other than that, not a lot going on. Neighbour asking me to help them.

So I'll help them today. They have a bit of a cough after all, but hey, it's done now. My neighbour downstairs got rushed to hospital with an asthma attack.

So that was strange. It's like nearly every weekend or she gets going to hospital. I hope someone gets I hope she gets some help.

I want to go into details but just she needs some support. She's only young. It's still a teenager.

And she's got no support. And she gets the support during the medical emergency but she needs ongoing support because of her medical conditions. So we said medical, not not medical, medical conditions.

Medical. I don't know why I said it like that. So I hope she's okay.

And she sent me a text asking me to come down about 10 to two. I had my phone on, she rung me, but the phone didn't. Basically, I have the phone turned on to mute.

Because still some of my friends, my friends, friends, phone me like weird hours morning, drunk or whatever, which is this, this disturbs my sleep. But what I do is I have the radio on at the weekend or have music. If the phone rings, the music stops.

It's been like, was it musical chairs, really, but musical sleep, musical rings, I don't know. And that normally jolts me to realise that someone's ringing. And also, if there is something going on in the building, then he wakes me up, which he did.

I don't know how long he was trying to wake me up for, but he woke me up about 10 past two. So he probably heard the ambulance arriving. I heard movement downstairs.

So she's back. So she's okay. Well, I hope she is.

I need to ask her, give her a ring. Anyway, the the internet's been playing up. So I'm now sharing my internet with downstairs.

Because just until she gets her own internet. And I don't know, is that slowing it down? It's already not particularly fast, but it's now getting to the point where it's buffering during Netflix. And Netflix only needs about four or five megabytes a second, which is like really low.

And I'm, I don't know, I'm just a bit confused. I have to try and figure it out. Because boxing is on at the weekend.

And I do not, I will not, I refuse to have that interrupted. Early hours in the morning, Devin Haney and Roy Garcia, La Marrakee. And it will be, I already know who's going to win.

Devin Haney is going to win. Sorry. Sorry to break it to you.

But he is. So even though the odds, he is the favorite, he will always be the favorite, I think, up to the point where maybe if he fought someone like Tank Davis, I reckon it's going to be pretty much 50 50. Tank might get the the nudge, you know, as far as having better being more of a favorite.

But I think Devin Haney could outbox Tank Davis. He just knows how to, he just, he knows how to win. So does Tank Davis, who's unbeaten as well.

But I don't know, Devin Haney seems to be more the more complete, more complete fighter, maybe not the most exciting to watch. But he's just, he's kind of perfection in a way, in a sense, as a boxer, rather than a fighter, as a boxer. He's, he's supreme.

He's, he's delicious. As weird. If you're going to put into food terms, he's exquisite.

He's an exquisite boxer. Anyway, I want to wear boxings. I know, well, I could talk about boxing, but I'm not going to.

What I thought I would do as it's Monday, and to give loads and loads and loads of notice, I thought I would do a question and answer Friday, this coming Friday. Won't be live, it'll just be your, could it, should I do it live? I don't know. No, I won't do it live, because then I've got to brush my hair, and also have to grow some hair as well.

So, because I'm a baldy, I'm not completely bald, but I do have follicle issues these days. Which I never used to. The hair that I do have is still pretty thick and curly.

Unfortunately, because I remember I used to have hair all the way down to my lower back. Now I've only got hair on my lower back. It's weird.

Nice, thick, curly, leaning down to me. So, I was thinking do a Q&A on Friday. So, if you've got any questions, please go to my Jason's, is it Jason's Boring Group? Jason Newland's Boring Group on Facebook, and ask me a question there.

Or, if you wanted, you can, that's really the best, yeah, that's really the best thing to do. So, I'll put a thing, do a questionnaire, or do a thing on, when I've done this, I'll do that. Because I've only, my laptop's over there, I'm using the iPad for this, because this has got the app on for the newspapers.

So, I can't look at the laptop right now. Although there is room, but it would be kind of banging into the microphone and stuff. So, I didn't want to do that.

So, I'm going to do that on Friday. And I also wanted to talk to you about something. And some of you will already know this, potentially, some people that have contacted me in the past and found me perhaps to be a bit of a cold fish.

I don't mean to be. But I'm not very, I'm not very good with people. It's becoming more and more evident.

I'm really good with people, and then I'm not. Give me a certain situation, and I can really, I might come across as being really super friendly and, you know, full of life and that, but that's not consistent, unfortunately. I don't know if I want it to be, but I guess, yeah, I probably would like it to be a bit more.

But I noticed over the last month, I've had some situations where I've had people constantly knocking on my door. Neighbours and people are asking for help and all just visiting. It got to the point where I started getting anxious in case someone knocked on the door, because I didn't want anybody to knock on the door.

It's not just the knocking, it's the result of Vinnie screaming with excitement. That's not his fault. He's a dog, you know.

It's a mixture probably of him guarding his territory, protecting me, although I don't believe that he cares enough to protect me. But more likely, he's protecting his territory, or he's seeing it as a chance to escape. As soon as that front door goes, maybe someone better than me will come and take him home.

I don't know what's in his mind. But having people in here, it's just too much. I can't handle it.

I can't handle it. Very occasionally, you know, once a year, maybe twice a year, but every day or every other day, or like multiple days in a week, just no. And I find that, again, this isn't very light-hearted stuff, but this is true truth.

I don't know. I don't know why. I mean, I was diagnosed with an emotionally unstable personality disorder, as well as bipolar affective disorder.

So I got those two diagnoses. I don't mention the personality disorder very often. Hardly ever, to be honest, because there's personal reasons for that.

Some people can... Some people don't like hearing about bipolar affective disorder. Especially if they've had... They might have had their own issues with a loved one and stuff, and they really just don't want to have anything to do with anybody that has that. Which is understandable.

Might sound... It might sound uncaring or harsh that someone that knows what it's like and is seen that would not want to have anything to do with someone going through that. But I do... I kind of get it now, in the sense of I wouldn't want to go... I'd never, ever want to be around anyone that's, like, in the drug world. It's like taking drugs and stuff.

Never, ever, or anyone who drinks excessively alcohol. Don't want to be around anyone like that ever again. Like, in a friend situation.

I'll talk to anyone. I don't care. But I couldn't handle going through that again.

I've had that for years. Not me doing it. Like, it's just being there for someone else.

Well, I've done my fair share over the years. I'm not saying that wasn't the situation. So I can understand if I... I mean, I've known a lot of people that have got mental health issues, and it is hard to be around them sometimes.

It's a lot of fun sometimes as well. Someone with, like, bipolar or some mental health issues, that can be so funny at times. Like, seeing the world a little bit different, you know? Seeing things from a different angle.

Very quick, perhaps. The complete opposite to me, because I'm obviously very, very little. Very little.

I said to my dad yesterday, I said, and, you know, you're probably just thinking of me as just being a bit of a loser. Not a... I don't work. I don't, you know, it's not how you were raised, and it's not how you tried to raise me to be like this, you know? He's a very conscientious and very hard worker his whole life.

He's retired now. He's nearly 80. And I said, but you know, one day when I'm dead, you know, one day you'll see that I've done something worthwhile with my life.

But you just won't find out, probably until I'm gone. Because then you'll see online, you'll see what people are saying, I hope. People are saying nice things.

And then he said, yeah, but I'll probably die before you. I said, no, that's not the right answer. The right answer is you're proud of me now.

You're already... I was like, you'll be proud of me when you find out. I was like, no, tell me you're proud of me now. But no, he's never been able to say that to me.

You know, the only person ever, ever, ever, ever to tell me that they were proud of me was my friend Noel. I remember the moment it happened because, you know, I've been waiting my whole life to hear it. I just finished the NLP course, Neural Linguistic Programming.

I've got to tell you what it means because now with the AI, NLP is now called the Natural Language Model. Natural Language Programming or something like that. So it's taken on a much bigger, different meaning now.

Anyway, so NLP, Neural Linguistic Programming. I did a course and hypnosis course, and then I did two NLP courses and a hypnosis course. And I did some therapy with someone for the first time.

And I used the room upstairs in the comedy club. And he asked me how I got on afterwards. And I told him and he just said he was so proud of me.

And it just meant so much. Because, you know, this was back in about probably beginning of 2000, I'd say. And he'd known me since 1991.

And I was 20 years old when he first met me. He was about, he was in his early 40s, I think. And he's around the same age as my dad, roughly.

Kind of, give or take a couple of years, about the same kind of age. And he, I was a bit of a problem child, to be honest. I don't, I had a bit of a comedy circuit for perhaps not being very nice.

And they mistook my persona on stage with who I was as a person. Because as an offstage, I was, no, no, sorry, I was nice on stage, offstage I was horrible. No, I was offstage, I don't know.

I was, I was a 20 year old with hormones and living in a big city and with mental health issues I didn't know about. And it was, yeah, it was, it was a weird, weird situation. And I didn't know how to make friends with people.

I didn't know how to act in public. You know, the first time I noticed or I realised that there was something not quite right with me. Not the first time.

Oh, blimey, not the first. But there was one particular moment. And I think it was 1989.

And I was standing, I was in London, and I had this little job on an agency and it was like £100 a week, really bad pay. But you know what, I liked the place. I liked the people.

At that time, everyone was nice. Everyone, including the team lead or the manager. He took me under his wing.

He gave me a kettle and stuff, you know, for my room that I just moved into. Really, you know, nice bloke. I just had a lot of time for him.

And I was, like, 19 at the time. And I remember we were having this conversation and he was asking me something and I was talking to him. It was just me and him on our own outside.

And I suddenly just ran out of things to say. And I was just looking at him like, I don't know what else to say. I didn't say that.

Nowadays, I probably just say it out loud. So, no, run out of things to say. I'm bored now.

I might not. I might not say it like that. I might say it in a funny way, not to upset them, but you're boring.

Someone said that to me the other night. It was my friend downstairs, his sister. Phoned her up just to see how she is because it was his birthday last week.

And she'd been just chatting only for about a few minutes. And then she said, I'm bored now. Bye.

And just hung up on me. I was like, okay. But she laughed as she said it and just made me laugh.

I just found it funny. And technically, it's quite rude, isn't it? But just stuff like that makes me giggle. You're boring me now.

Bye. I mean, it's something you'd expect from a five-year-old, isn't it? And then they phone you back saying, sorry about that. I was just joking.

But no, she didn't phone back. This is Sunday night. I'm still waiting.

I'm still sitting by the phone. The phone hasn't rang. It's not fair.

So, that was when I realised I'm just looking at this person and I have nothing to say. I feel very awkward right now as I was looking at it. There wasn't one... This is something I've also noticed.

Sometimes, I say sometimes because nothing's all the time, is it? Nothing's every time, everything, everywhere. It's like there's certain circumstances that can be different. But I've noticed that when I talk to people, there is practically no interest from me in them.

I look for it sometimes. But there's nothing... I can't think of anything to say to them that's like asking them about themselves because I kind of generally don't care. Not don't care, but I'm not interested.

And I don't know why. I wish I could be interested. I mean, sometimes, if I get to know someone and sometimes I am interested occasionally, but it's very, very rare.

Very rare. You know, I've even got to make an effort when I talk to the other dog walkers because they've asked me what's his name. I say it's Finny.

And I don't ask them what their dog's name is, which is something I should do. But at the same time, I know that as soon as they say their name, I won't hear it. Well, I hear it, but I won't remember it.

Literally, instantly, you'll be forgotten because I don't store people's names. I've had friends that didn't know what their names were for years. People I've worked with didn't know what their names were.

Even people I've gone out for a drink with and the only way I get to really know their name. Well, that's weird because I might be friends with someone for a couple of years. And then they said, well, why don't we go out for a drink? Well, it's a company do.

So, well, let's meet up before and get something to eat. OK, then. Well, you haven't got my number, so I'll give you my number.

So, I'll give them, this is the old days where you kind of write down a piece of paper, maybe, or they'd have their phone and they'd put it in. That's before we realized it, you know, phone them, they'll have it. That's more of a recent discovery, maybe.

And I say, oh, my name is Jason. I said, of course, I know your name, I've known you for years. I said, OK.

And then they say, so here's my number. OK, great. And I'm waiting for them to tell me what their name is.

They never do. They never do. So I have to wait for them to call me.

And sometimes I still don't know, find out what their name is. You know, I have to go up to someone at the works do and say, oh, we see him over there or her over there. Say, oh, what, Joanne or Steve? Like, yeah, it's the one with dressed as a clown.

Oh, Bobby. Yeah. OK.

Yeah, Bobby. Yeah. Cool.

Well, what about him? Oh, nothing. I just wonder if you could see him. That's a bit weird.

Just come up to me and say that. I said, do you want the honest answer or made up one? Well, the honest answer is OK. I said, well, to be honest with you, I didn't know what his name was.

Just as simple as that. We met up, had McDonald's on the way here and I've known him for two years. I didn't know what his name was.

That's why. And she said, so what's the made up answer? I said, what? She said, well, you said, do I want the honest or the made up answer to why did you ask me if I could see him? I said, well, I didn't expect you to actually want both answers. I mean, that's not really fair, is it? You get one or the other.

You don't get two. No, you do. What? If someone says to you, do you want the first, do you want the good news or the bad news? You don't just give them the bad news and walk away.

Or you don't just give them the good news and walk away. You also, you know, you have to give them both. Really? Yeah.

I don't see where they, where does it say that? In the rule book. What rule book? Exactly. There isn't one, is there? It's all made up, you know? What's all that made up? What were you going to say to me? What made up story were you going to say to me then? She said to me, I said, OK, well, you know, the truth is, I didn't know what his name was, but I was, wasn't going to tell you that.

The made up story I was going to tell you is that I just always liked you and I wanted to talk to you and maybe get to know you a bit. So that bit isn't real. No, no, that bit just made up.

That's a bit rude. Why? Well, if you don't know, no, that's why I said why. None of that happened.

But I do, I don't know what it is. There's a real, people like to tell me stuff. And people like, not everyone, but some people like to talk to me and like to open up to me and stuff.

And I think I'm a fairly good listener. Because I'm not listening, maybe. It's because I'm not, I'm not really absorbing it.

It's just like, it's just a bunch of words. And that's terrible, isn't it? Now, I am listening. But at the same time, not a huge amount of judgment coming from me, because I don't care enough to be judgmental.

If it doesn't affect me, it doesn't really matter. Other than as long as they're okay. And, you know, I can be caring, isn't I? I'm human-ish.

I'm kind of, I pretend to be a human. And I just don't have any natural interest in people. Why is that? Especially the mundane stuff.

Tell me something juicy, tell me something real. And you might grab my attention. If you tell me where you've been.

I remember, what did my, someone sent me a message this couple of years back saying, oh, we've got to meet up and you tell me all about your holiday. Like, why? Tell me all about your travels. Why? What do you want to know? Almost like I'm going to get all excited and talk about all these things that happen, like, and be jumping around from wall to wall and juggling or something.

I don't know. I just, that, that isn't me. Maybe I'm just not a very excitable person.

Maybe I really am boring. Like really, really, like really boring. I don't know.

What do you think? I'm not painting myself. What am I painting myself coming across? You know what I mean? I don't know. It's just that natural, sometimes I meet someone and if there's a common interest and if it's something that, if it relates to me, basically, or relates to a part of my life, part of something.

So if someone just talks about the main road being closed, then I have a tiny little bit of interest because that might affect me. You know, if a neighbor says, oh, the, I don't know, you know, if there's, there's a field is going to be turned into a housing estate, I'm going to be interested. Because it affects me.

But if they tell me a field in a different town is going to be turned into a housing estate, zero interest. It's exactly the same topic, same subject, same conversation, but not interested because it doesn't affect me. And I realize that sounds selfish because it probably is, maybe.

But I just, I don't know, just, I think that's why I never, I never really bothered very much at school because the subject matter didn't seem relevant. Mathematics, it's never been something that I particularly valued. I mean, we had calculators at school.

You know, when I was at school, calculators existed. You know, when my dad was at school, they had abacuses, I think. And they used to just have chalk and slate and write on them.

But I, I didn't see the point in learning the 10 times table. It's like, why? I do know. I can work out 10 times table in my head.

It's quite easy, but it's just, it's, don't, you know, don't start asking me what seven fours are or, you know, 20, 42, seven fours, seven, 14, 28. So I kind of, see, I didn't even get that right. But the one, that was loud, wasn't it? The one times table I was okay with.

Took a while, but it started to click in my head, like, wait a minute. After studying it for a few years, it dawned on me, like, there's a pattern here. So what? Oh, this is just ridiculous.

So I went up to my teacher and I said, you know, we've been studying this times table. You know, you gave me the times table when I first started in the first year. And it's now the fifth year of high school.

I know that you don't really talk about the times table so much. We were just supposed to learn it. And it's been taped into the inside of my textbook for five years and stuff.

It just dawned on me. So I tell her, like, the one times table is just, you just add one every time. Her eyes glazed over.

So I was waiting for some, no, okay. I wasn't expecting fireworks and balloons and a cake, you know. I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting, I mean, it'd be nice, but I wasn't expecting any of that fanfare.

I didn't expect everyone to carry me on their shoulders all through the town singing, Jason is a genius. And other songs like that. But a little bit of recognition that I'd finally understood something, but no, nothing.

And then I kind of worked on the second times table. This is probably when I left school, to be honest. Second time, I mean, I think the first times table, once you've kind of mastered that, I say mastered, anything over seven can be a little bit complicated, but you know, I mastered it pretty much.

And we had the block, you know, one, two, three, four, five. So you kind of see what was what, the graph of the 10 times table. So two, I always found that quite easy, but still had to count it.

There were certain things were easy, like one, twos, two. Two twos are four. Yeah.

10 twos are 20. So that's three out done. There's only seven left.

So nine twos, because it's 20, you know, it's only two left. So two off of that is 18. So that's six left.

I could do six, eight, 10. Two, two, four. I'm not saying seven.

The reason is, is it's less. Two, four, six, eight, five. So yeah, two times table is quite easy.

Even though I just thought there was 10 numbers in it. Blimey. So two times table, two, four.

Yeah. So that's, that's easy. Five times table.

I found that probably the easiest one after that, like more easy than two times table, to be honest, because it's just five, 10. Oh, wait a minute. Two times table, two, four, six, eight, 10.

Now it goes up to 20, doesn't it? 10 twos are 20. Oh, so now there is, there is seven. Yeah.

Okay. I just thought it's been a few years since I last saw that little chart thing. So it would be 10 of each.

So 10 fives, 50. One five is five. Two fives are 10.

Nine fives, 45, because you take five off. So that's like five done already. And then five fives, 25.

That's etched in my brain. Five, 10, 15, 20, 20, 25. Four fives.

That's easy because two fives are 10, four fives are 20. Three fives. It's quite easy to visualize.

Five, five, three. Okay, now wait a minute. Five, two, nine, five, five, one.

Okay. It's pretty easy to visualize, but let's say it's five, it's three fives. So it's 15.

So that's easy. It's instant. And then you got four, the four times table.

That's when things got a little bit complicated. And when I was, I didn't understand this at school. It was only when I left school that I figured out how it works.

Which may surprise you considering I was an adult, you know. And I didn't realize the patterns, the patterns of what was going on at the time, of the numbers, the patterns of the numbers and how they all kind of move around and, not move around, but how you can just, I don't know. I'll explain what I mean.

So the four times table, one four is four, 10 fours are 40, which means five fours are 20. Two fours are eight. And four fours are 16.

Three fours are 12. Because I used to, and that used to be the money on the door for their nightclub. Went up from 10 pound to 12 pound.

10 pound was much easier. Really was. It was eight pound on a Friday, 10 pound on a Saturday.

And then went up to 10 pound on a Saturday, 12 pound on a, 12 pound on a Friday rather. 10 pound on a Friday, 12 pound on a Saturday. And it's weird the amount of times that you say 12 pound and people said, what, seven? So no 12.

What, five? 12. Four pound. No 12.

And they weren't haggling. So in England, we don't haggle. Lots of people here that perhaps have come from places that were born haggling.

Because there's a lot of places around the world that haggle, on marketplaces and like, we don't do that here. Although I have been into some shops in the West End when I was younger. I went into this shop once, looked at a jacket.

I said, how much is it? He said, how much do you want to pay? I said, no, that's not how it works, mate. How much do you want to pay? Is this a real shop or are you just, just some random customer just walked in just having a laugh with me? And I walked out. I said, no, we don't do that here, mate.

This is not what we do. Don't haggle. How much is it? That's it.

I either pay the price or I don't pay the price. How much do you want to pay? I want to pay £1. That's ridiculous.

It's worth over £200. Well, tell me the price then. Just do it.

It's worth over £200. Over £200 is not a price, is it? What's over £200? I said, okay, how much is it? How much do you want to pay? Like, oh, so yeah, it was, I actually, actually really happened. Maybe not quite how I described it, but, and yeah, just never, never liked.

I know some people love that stuff. The idea of haggling and, and yeah, it doesn't appeal to me. I ain't got time.

Just what's the price? That's it. To be fair, most of the stuff I guess online now, so I don't even see people, but that's probably, you know, it is what it is. And four times 12, five times, so 20, five is 20, four times, five times four is 20, but you can do it the other way.

So that's a good thing. So you've got four fives, 20. So, and then you've got four fours.

Oh, it's the same either way, isn't it? But then you've got three fours or four threes, three, six, nine. Wait a minute. Three, six, four, three fours, three fours, four threes, three, six, nine, 12.

Okay. Yeah. Three, six, nine, 12.

And then there's, do you know what? I got a message the other day and the person said, oh, I like the way you don't, you don't do things the way that your contemporaries do it. I like the way you, you talk about your bills in a really creepy way. And then they asked me for help and I'm guessing that was not a real message because you wouldn't use the word creepy, would you?

To describe someone that you liked.

I don't know if I've still got it. I don't know where it was from. Where it was sent to, if I'm honest.

And yeah, I found it very strange because normally people, when they do contact me, they don't say, they don't call me creepy. I mean, I pass, I am creepy, but I don't think I sound creep. I don't think I, oh, okay.

Is this creepy? I'm behind the curtains. I'm hiding in the attic. I mean, that's not creepy, is it? I shouldn't really do that because if someone's asleep, okay, I'm sorry.

I don't think I sound creepy, but then people that are creepy probably don't know that they sound creepy because otherwise they might probably stop, wouldn't they? Maybe. Sixes, the six times table I struggled a little bit with because it was sixes. Six, 12.

It's a six times six. One six is six. 10, six, 60.

That's always the 10 ones. I always find that easiest. The first one in the 10th one.

Five, if I have to count to five, six, five, whatever, that's a little bit, I mean, I would have to go the other way. So I wouldn't do five sixes, I'd do six fives, but an easier way is just to do half of 60. It's 30.

So that's a good one. So that's halfway through. Two sixes are 12.

Four sixes, 24. So then three, that's the one. That's the one like, okay, six, 12.

And then you realize, and it clicked, something clicked with me. Okay. Six, 12, 18.

And for some reason, I was able to add six in my head. It was almost like it was maybe a visual thing. And I realized then that I was possibly, potentially a maths prodigy.

And then maybe I would change the world with my mathematical mind, because I could now do three times six in my head. And for some reason it never happened. I don't know why.

I was just too busy doing my two pound an hour job in London. Anyway, so six, seven, so six was a little bit problematic. And I thought, well, six, 60, take six off of 60, it's 54.

But six, I always add a little bit. And six, half of 60 is 30. So it's your five sixes of 30.

Six sixes, 36. It's very easy. Just add six under 30.

30, take away six is 24. Yeah, 24. So that's easy.

Easier than I made it look. Now seven times table, that was the one. And six, I struggled with seven, eight, and nine, those were the ones that I really kind of had an issue with, like, oh, this is just, oh, you know.

And then it clicked, something clicked. First of all, why am I spending so much time thinking about this for when I'm 20 years old, and I have all this energy, I'm slim, and I should be enjoying myself. But hey, that's a long story.

I realized the pattern of the nine times table, because you got one times nine, obviously is nine. 10 times nine is 90. 90.

So what's 99? That's 10, isn't it? 10 times 10. 10 times 10. So what's 99 then? I don't know.

So you got nine times, or one times nine, 90 is the 10. Half of 90, 45, so that's the five. I can do two times nine is 18.

That's pretty easy. A few years of practice, I've got that one. And I was like, oh, I don't really know how to do this.

It's a little bit complicated. And then I was looking at it, and I realized that if you go backwards, or if you go forwards, rather, you just take one off every time. So it's just basically add 10 and take one off.

So nine, 19, 18, 28, 27. So you just add 10, and then take one off. 37, 36, 46, 45.

So 45, and it's just like, oh, this is really easy. So I don't even have to know what it is. I just add on.

So if it's seven times nine, then it would just be seven times nine is 70, take off nine. So it's 81. Is that right? No, it isn't.

Seven times nine. Oh my god. Seven times nine is is 63.

That because you're taking seven off. 63. Eight times nine is 72.

Nine times nine is 81. And then 90. So yeah, so it's just, it's quite so four times nine is 40.

Take off four to 36. Six times nine is 60. Take off six.

So 54, 45. Yeah. So that's that's when I saw a pattern in the nine times table.

I didn't explain it very well. But and this face it. There's probably no one listening to this that doesn't already know this anyway.

But yeah, we learned this one. We were five. Okay.

Less judgment, please. And I don't know for you. It's the same process for the eights, except it's just two.

You just add 10, take off two. And it becomes really easy. So one, eight is eight, two eights, 18, take off two, so it's 16.

Three eights, 26, take off two, 24, four eights, 24, take 34, take off two, 32, 42, I don't know whatever, you know, that's the same. It's just like, add 10, take off two, add 10, take off two. Seven times table, add 10, take off three, add 10, take off three every time.

Six times table, add 10. No, not three, seven. Three, seven.

One. No, what adds. So two times table, add 10, take off two.

So you wouldn't do it because it's easier to do two. But once you get to like six, it's just a bit easier. Six, then 16, take off six.

No, six and 10 is 16. Take off six, so it's 10. Oh man.

One. Okay, so you're 10, nine, you take off one, eight, you take off two, seven, you take off three, six, you take off four. Okay, I know what I'm doing.

I'm just not explaining it well. So six, so 16, take off four, it's 12. 24, take off four, 20.

Six. I'm just laughing. I can't believe how rubbish I am at this.

Six. I can't believe I'm actually recording myself being so dumb. Six plus 10 is 16.

Take away four, 12. 12 plus 10 is 22. Take off six.

That doesn't make sense. It's supposed to be 18. Six, 12, 18.

Six, 12, 22, take off four. Oh yeah, four, that is six. No, four, not six.

I was trying to take off six. So it's four, 18. 28, so it's four times six.

28, take off four. So it's 24. So four sixes, 24.

Five sixes, 24, 34, take off four, 30. Five, half of 60 is five, yeah. And then six sixes is 40, take off four, so that's 36.

Seven sixes, 36, 46, take off four, 42. And then eight is 42 plus 10, 52, take off four, that's 48. 58, take off four, 58, 54.

And then six more makes 60. Or 54, 64, take off four, 60. See, and I can't believe I've spent an hour talking about this.

This is ridiculous. This is, this is a new low even for me. And I've got this, I've got this newspaper website thing that I've paid for so I can use it and access all the newspapers, or a lot of the newspapers from all over the world.

I'm only going to be able to read the ones in, you know, in English, but there's America, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, all the English printed, like speaking countries, but you've also got English papers in other countries as well. That was high pitched as well. The United Kingdom, regions, national, English has to be in English.

So there's 500. So you got the Observer, the Sunday Tele, this is yesterday, isn't it? What's the magazines? Why has it got Sunday on Monday, it's Monday today, the Guardian, Daily Mail, Daily Telegraph, the Independent, one, two, three, there's only four. I know for a fact that the mirror is there as well.

The Daily Star. So this is Monday. So let's have a look what Monday, Monday, Monday.

Okay, so here, these are the news, the national newspapers available for me to read in this country. There's the Herald, which I think is Scotland, isn't it? The Herald, and the Scotsman. Then I've got and I guess both of those are daily.

I've got the Daily Star. I've got the Daily Mail. Nope, that was yesterday.

So forget that. I've got the Mirror. I've all I do have the Daily Mail as well.

Daily Express, the Sunday Telegraph. No, that was Sunday. Forget that.

The Daily Telegraph, rather, and the Guardian. So there's one, two, three, four, five. So there's five national papers in England.

And then there's two in Scotland. I wonder if the sun is in here. Maybe not.

Some newspapers, I guess, don't want to be on there because they're, they're just for whatever reason, I guess. I don't know how it works. I'll put in the sun, see whether or not it's available.

Sun, Sunday Sun, the Sunday Sun's in daily. Okay, so the sun on a on a Sunday. But then the sun is on Wednesday, 10th of April.

So why? I wonder why? Latest issue, Wednesday, the 3rd of April. And Wednesday, the 13th of March. From the looks of this, latest issue, so it's the latest issue.

From the looks of this, they don't get the sun regularly. It's like, I wonder why that is. The midweek sun, maybe, oh, maybe it's not the sun.

It's the midweek sun. Perhaps it's not the actual normal sun newspaper. I don't know.

Who knows? So the Sunday, so it's got Sunday papers as well. There's lots of Sunday papers. So how many papers did I come up with? How many was there? Please somebody tell me how many newspapers was there? Cancel and look what we've got.

So the Guardian, so one, Daily Mail, two, Telegraph, three, Independent, four, Express, five, Mirror, six, Star, seven. So seven newspapers, plus the two Scottish newspapers, so that's nine. And that's like a daily, a daily basis.

So that's all right. I'll just put in what newspapers, newspapers, newspapers, news. Okay, that's all really I was looking for, four, four.

And if I can put in the date. So that's quite a few newspapers. I mean, I'm not sure how to do it.

I don't know whether I should read through all this first and then do, you know, like, kind of, I don't know, not prepare what I'm going to talk about, but read through first before, like spending ages, just sitting here reading them while I'm talking. But then I suppose I can edit it, can't I? So even if the recording is like, I think two hours is about the maximum I can do before it cuts off, because it cut off the other day, and started recording again.

So I have to be a little bit careful that I don't run over.

But yeah, I'm not sure. I'm thinking that probably not gonna look at any today. But tomorrow, I think I'm gonna, I'm gonna maybe do it while I read while I ate my breakfast.

Have a look through the newspapers, see what's occurring. So I got the, let's have a look at the Daily Star. Okay.

Daily Star read. So we'll add a few. Okay.

I haven't watched TV for 35 years. That's the Pope. Okay.

I, you know, it's weird, I can't imagine. Well, I can't, there's quite a few things I can't imagine the Pope doing. But watching TV is one of them, I just doesn't.

See, my Nan used to have a picture of the Pope. Is it John Paul, the something? He, he was the Pope in the 90s and 2000s and stuff. 80s.

So he was a Pope for a long time, I think. I always called him my Nan's Pope. Because that's the only Pope I ever really knew.

I didn't know him, but yeah, the Pope that I knew of. Danny Dyer appears to be a fan of the Daily Star's cheeky humor. When the former EastEnderstar46 appeared on Channel 4 chat show Late Night Lysette on Friday, he was asked about silly stories written about him over the years.

He referred his favorite is a bonkers tale in the Daily Star about him being lewd at a loaded mag bash. Okay, so cool. What is this? The good thing about what reading this on the iPad is I can open up the page, make it like bigger.

Simon Pegg says working with veteran actor Bill Nighy was like hanging out with Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. The Mission Impossible star, 54, said his fellow British actor handed out wisdom just like the Star Wars legend. Pegg and Nighy, 24, starred together in zombie comedy classic Shaun of the Dead, which was about 20 years ago now, blimey.

Simon told GQ magazine, we used to sit around in Bill's trailer just listening to him tell us stories about his wilder days. He was just like the Obi-Wan Kenobi of the shoot. Cool.

Right, so there's, yeah. It's just a case of finding stuff. I wonder if there's a way, I wonder, is there a way of bookmarking? I'll have to look into that because if there's a way of bookmarking stuff and I can kind of save it for future, I don't know, or I could just just read for it while I'm talking.

That's a way of doing it, I guess. I mean, it's, you know. Pope TV banned for 35 years.

All right, so he was banned. Pope Francis has revealed he slapped a ban on himself from watching telly after stumbling across a smutty show. Okay, the Supreme Pontiff, 87, said it was so bad that his ticker he hasn't watched the box for almost 35 years.

He was a young man then, wasn't he? 35, 45, 55, 65. So 45, 55, 65, 75. 55, 65, 75, 85.

Okay, so it's 30, over 27 years ago. He said, I was watching television in the lounge with my fellow priests. It was July the 15th, 1990.

Very specific to remember the date. And some scenes of an adult nature, to put it delicately, were being shown. Something that was not good for my heart.

Nothing risky, risque, of course, but when I went back to my room, okay, do we want to read any further? Or are we going to read in between the lines? I said to myself, a priest cannot look at such things. And so the following day, during the Mass for the Feast of the Madonna del Carmelo, I vowed never to watch television again. He said one of the last things he watched was the 1989 fall of the Berlin Wall.

In his new book, Life, My Story Through History, Pope Francis said that there had been a couple of exceptions to this vow. Okay, more, more information, please. I missed out a lot of information there.

But I want to know what show it was that he watched that made him decide that he needed to rush to his room on his own and to, you know, vow never to do that again. And secondly, what were the shows that he did see that were the exceptions to his vow? Hmm? Hmm? That's what I want to know. Anyway, Gladiators, maybe? Baywatch? Baywatch.

Was that it? That was it, he watched Baywatch. Yeah, I had a similar thing happen to me. Well, that's it.

I think. Oh, that's enough of all that now. I've gone over my allotted time as per usual.

So thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself. Remember to be gentle with yourself because you deserve to be happy.

You do. Lots of love. Bye.