(no music) #1059 - Working on website - Let Me Bore You To Sleep (5th December 2023) (1)

Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name is Jason Newland. Please only listen when you can.

Safely close your eyes. So today I have been, among other things, working on my website. I'm trying to get it a bit more streamlined.

Oh, excuse me, I'm just eating a banana. I'm trying out a new habit. I'm having a banana between, you know, not between, but just before doing the podcast, eating a banana.

So it's in its like infancy stage really. I've only done it twice. I mean, I might have done it in the past.

But if I did do it in the past, it wasn't such a big occasion, you know, it wasn't such a major event in my life, eating that banana before doing a podcast. It wasn't a social experiment like it is now. It wasn't the most important thing, you know, in my life like it is now, you know, eating that banana and seeing whether or not the banana that I'd eaten could hold back my hunger pangs until after the podcast is completed.

And then I can then have some food. And yesterday it seemed to work. And I remember writing a 10,000 word essay on the outcome.

And then I thought, if I do this every day, it's like six hours of my life every day, just talking about how pleased I am with being able to reduce the hunger, keep it at bay, as it were, until completion. Because sometimes I get hungry before the climax of the podcast. And I just, you know, I want to eat and my tummy gurgles.

It talks to me. Can you make a little bit more noise, please, Vinnie? Thanks. Ever so grateful.

Oh, did I mention that they were fighting yesterday? Fighting and fighting. He did it again while I was eating this morning, eating my breakfast. Huge guff.

Didn't hear it. Didn't have to hear it. I didn't need a big sign.

Didn't need a telephone call. I've worn well, I could have done with the warning. But it was just there, like a green mist, hovering in the air.

You mean that unlike any other mist, or like a mist hovers in the air. It was like a mist. I mean, green, green mist.

Yeah. Yeah. Stop chatting myself.

It's been cold, as it should be this time of year. I don't really get caught up in the, oh, it's too cold. Because it is too cold for some people.

I will, you know, God concede to that one, because not everyone can withstand being cold. Not the cold weather, like outside. So, you know, but generally, it's cold in December.

In pretty much every year that I've been alive. It gets cold in the winter. It's kind of, will you go away? Seriously, mate, you're banging the table, please, please, please.

It's the monster dog here. He's like headbutting the table. Really winds me up.

What do you want? Now he's put his hand on me. Honestly, I want to get rid of both the dogs at the moment. They're both doing my natural writing.

What is it? What do you want? Just want some attention. Well, you lucked out, didn't you? You came to the wrong person for that. I'm kind of busy.

I'm busy. Good boy. Oh, now I see what it is.

You want this, do you? There's a bowl of breakfast cereal that wasn't quite finished and he wants to eat the rest of it. Don't worry, it's not been there since this morning. It's been there for about an hour, hour and a half, two hours.

And now Vinnie's creeping up. Why didn't you give that to me, dad? Call me dad now, yeah? Most of the time it's just person, that person that happens to live with you, eh Vin? You know, last night, right after doing the recording, I called up one of my neighbours just to see how she was because Really? Perhaps I should have taken the spoon out, Phil. Oh no, you want the spoon now, yeah?

I nearly said something very inappropriate there.

It involves a spoon, but not in a way that you might think. It's so noisy. He's basically a horse dressed as a dog.

That's enough, now. Now, please, do you know that rhyme for ladybirds? I don't know if you remember it. Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home.

Your house is on fire, your children are... Actually, that's quite a horrible, what a horrible poem. But it was a rhyme to sort of the idea is you, the ladybird leaves. Now, I didn't like singing it.

First of all, I thought it was a cruel song, even at the age of like four. I thought this is just horrible. Secondly, the last thing in the world I wanted was for that ladybird to leave me.

Well, not the last thing. I imagine the moon crashing into the earth would probably be the last thing I wanted. But generally, in perspective of being a little kid, I really in that moment, I didn't, by the way, ladybirds, ladybugs, I think they're the same thing.

And we call them ladybirds here. And I still think they're the most beautiful insects. Little flying things, just beautiful, like, perfect perfection.

And if I had a ladybird on the end of my finger, I mean, there was part of me wanted to stick it up my nose. Okay, I was a kid. Okay, it was last summer.

But you know, just generally, it was two months ago. But you know, there's that little bit like, I wonder, you know, but will I become part part ladybird? Will I grow wings? And maybe I should get my medication reassessed. But anyway, I really loved ladybirds.

I really loved them. Still do. Bees as well.

Love bees. Although I did get stung by a bee once. I remember we was living in Newcastle.

Me and my three brothers and whoever, my mum and whoever was there. And we were in a tower block. And I came downstairs and my oldest brother was with a bunch of his friends.

So he was four years older than me. So I'd have been about four years old. He had been he was older.

Yeah. Older than seven. And they were all standing around something on the floor.

And I was like, Hey, lads, what's going on? Because I was a very deep voice back then. Before I said, spoken me pipe, you know? Hey, what's happening? I always had a little bit of a Sherlock Holmes syndrome going on when I was when I was a kid. I was looking for some kind of puzzle to to cure, you know, looking for patterns, which came in handy when my parents needed to redecorate the house and needs to get wallpaper.

I said, Okay, well, you can match them all up. I've got the sheets, but you know, you're good with patterns, you can match them up. And that's really the worst, the worst attempt at some kind of joke to do a patterns ever.

I mean, I'm embarrassed. I'm really, really not at all. I don't care.

But yeah, I so I went outside and it was my brother and these kids was out there. And my brother's and I said, Oh, hey, what you doing? I had a Newcastle accent back then. Because basically, I think I went to Newcastle when I was about two.

So I really learned to talk. Proper learn to talk when I was in Newcastle. So I me and my brothers all had really, we used to talk really fast.

I probably still talked quite slowly for the surrounding area. But still pretty fast for when I moved up south or down south wherever of the country, then I probably did speak still quite a fast talker. But that might all be a lie.

And my oldest brother, he was standing around. They weren't dancing. There was a break dancing hadn't really come through yet.

And I remember when I was about, I was about seven. I remember I had a roll of lino the floor flooring stuff that I found and the dustbin dump place. And I thought that'd be really good to spin around on my head with, you know, but what I did is I was I wasn't really thinking about doing it upside down.

I thought about spinning it on my head, the lino. And it's very difficult to keep it flax, it kept just curling over and, and just wrapping around me. And then I gave it gave it up.

And to my amazement, a few years later, breakdance was everywhere, and everyone was doing it. Now, I used to watch the TV upside down. So I thought they were doing what I used to do, and getting all the credit.

And I, why don't I get some credit? I invented that thing. And then one day, I actually sat on my bum and watched it and realized they were spinning on the floor with their head, which just didn't make sense to me. Why would you spin on your head? On the floor? Really, really brilliant.

Thanks. And noisy. How does that even come up? I know that kids come up with ideas like oh, let's do this.

Yeah, that's a good idea. Oh, yeah. But let's get some lino put on the floor and start spinning on our heads.

Who with where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where did that come from? Who, who, who thought of it first is my question. Mind you, you think about it, the light bulb was created by more than one person at the same time. As far as I remember, just one got a patented for the other.

So maybe, maybe that's what it was. Maybe someone thought we need to come up with a new way of dancing that involves lino flooring. Maybe that's that's what it was like a challenge.

Maybe it was a worldwide challenge, like the light bulb or flying across the Mediterranean or the sea, you know, or flying full stop. Get away, away. Thank you.

Or electricity. No, no more. I know, I know you're bored.

I know you're bored, but you need to go away just for a little while. Okay. Otherwise, I have to put you in the bedroom.

The big one here. I don't want to put you in the bedroom if you don't like it, and you'll probably start barking. You know, but this is my little time when I have to do the podcast.

Well, I don't have to, but I choose to. And I don't need you banging the table. I just need a little bit of peace and quiet just for an hour.

Yeah. Good girl. Good girl.

So yeah, I just, isn't it weird? I sit on the say, put a TV on or listen to music, work on my laptop, which I've been for the last few hours. They don't bother me for one second. Logie's on the floor, Vinnie's laying on my legs.

Sometimes Logie gets up and sits on the set next to me. Don't, none of them bother me. As soon as I sit at this table, it's almost like this is, or this is a time when we can hassle him now.

When this is the opposite to that time. This is a time when I need to be left alone. I just walked away in disgust.

See, I don't know what he's after. Cause he's got fresh water. He's got food.

It's just been in the garden. Literally we just got back from the garden. So I can't take him out for walks until I get his muzzle, which I get tomorrow, Wednesday from the pet shop.

So they ordered it last week. So last Wednesday, actually. So I should get it tomorrow.

And they've got two different sizes and they're going to, so I've got a shot. I can just try both of them on him and providing he can't get it off himself. We can walk around.

Cause he's not, he's no threat to anyone. Especially other dogs, even if they go after him, if they attack him. So I'll keep the dog off him anyway.

But he, as long as he can't get the mask off of his face, he's fine. You know, there's, there's very limited to what he can do with his paws, with his hands. I mean, there's a little bit, there's a little bit of jujitsu, but not a huge amount.

You know, he only, he only, only studied for a couple of years. He, uh, he lost interest, lost interest, um, took up train spotting and then cake decorating. I mean, he just keeps his chops around all the time.

Um, a dog, train spotting never really. And I mean, I've got no issue with people at train spot. I actually, I admire anyone that finds something that they are passionate about and they love doing providing it doesn't hurt anyone.

You know, that's a solid ad. I'm genuinely, genuinely have a lot of admiration for people who love, if they collect something or if they like to train spot, plane spot, boat spot, um, collect stamps, coins, uh, make railways, you know, little, uh, miniature railways, paint. Um, I know some people will paint that's artistic.

How can you compare collecting stamps to being an artist? I'm talking from the perspective of absolutely having a passion for something. And I've got total respect for anyone and admiration. Admiration is pretty bad word for anyone that's got a real love for something that they, they just have a passion for and they enjoy doing it regardless of, um, even if it, you know, I don't, I don't care if it's helping other people, but it's helping them, isn't it?

It's helping the person that's doing it, helping their mental health, improving their mental health.

So if someone, um, collects rusty, likes to collect rusty knobs, likes to rub the knobs and maybe clean them up or something. If that's what they enjoy doing, then why not? You know, if they start off seeing a dirty knob, they've got a dirty knob in their hand and at the end of it, they've got a nice clean, quite a nice clean knob, like a door knob or maybe a cupboard knob or, you know, something, a door handle, whatever you want to call it.

So I think if someone has got a passion, even if it's like mending old televisions, you know, something that's kind of of no use anymore to others, because I'm not sure if you can even get the old TVs anymore outside of a second hand store.

They all seem to be flat, flat screen, just like the computers. They're just generally flat screens now, aren't they? Not just the laptops, but even the PCs. So yeah, I just, I got a lot of time and admiration.

I like to use that word today. Admiration. That's what you need.

Just, you know, to get up every day and be excited about something or to be interested, even if it's not excitement. Sometimes it might be excitement, sometimes it might just be interest. But as long as that interest is there, life, I believe life is a lot more bearable, you know, a lot more, more interesting for the person that's doing what they enjoy doing.

And yes, now I'm going to talk about myself. Please, mate, keep away from the metal. I'll tell you what, I've had enough of these dogs.

Right, let's move over there. That's it. Over there.

Away from the metal. Good girl. Good girl, Vinnie.

And he picks it up and puts it near the metal again. He's just, you know what, last night, I called up a neighbor just to see if she was all right. That's it.

And she said, well, why don't you bring him out in the garden and come and say hello. So I did and got a little chat and Vinnie was in there and it's just the person that used to have him. So it's his mum, basically.

He had the time of his life in her flat and she's got a garden as well. He loved it there. Absolutely loved it.

And I'd love to have that flat because it's got a garden. To have a garden. And it's a nice big, it's not like a massive, massive garden, but it's a good size garden.

Yeah, thanks. Yeah, it's nice. Thanks for all that noise you're making there.

Go away, please. Go away. Away.

Good girl. Boy, girl. I think he needs, he wants to go for a walk, but he can't go for a walk because I can't take him out for a walk.

So the next best thing is I took him in a garden. And if he needs to poo, you just have to, well, hopefully you can hold because you did, pretty sure he did a couple outside. I had to go and try and find them because I couldn't see where he did it.

It's pitch black out there, which is why I don't take dogs in the garden generally. I never take Vinnie out there normally anymore. I used to when I first got him and he started barking at the cats, silly hours of the day, you know, like early hours of the morning and stuff.

So just move away. You're going to bang your head on the metal, aren't you again? It's just, it's almost guaranteed. He's jumped on the set here now.

He's getting fed up with me moaning. The thing is, whenever he hits the table, the building shakes because he's like a dinosaur and everything shakes. The microphone shakes, my wig nearly falls off.

It's just embarrassing. Now he's moaning. I'm charging up the phone, the, not the phone, the torch.

I got a torch a couple of weeks ago. So I'm now charging it up. So I'll be able to go out with him.

I'll just take him out on his own and I'll see where he's done a poo. If he has, I'll be able to pick it up. And then what I'm going to do is take Vinnie out on his own, just, just for a short one and not ideal this time of night because Logie will be barking loudly, but I don't think there's anyone downstairs at the moment and they've not properly moved in yet.

So I don't know. We'll just see. So I just want to, I hope that if he gets somewhere to move soon, somewhere to live soon, that'd be nice.

Just so he can kind of start to get himself, I don't know, acclimatized to a new environment, a new home, because being up here is not new to him. He's used to up here. He's been coming up here since he's, since for eight years or so.

So he's, he's very comfortable up here and it's kind of, I mean, the amount of times he runs up here anyway, normally, like just before, you know, during recent years, he just runs upstairs, especially since I've had Vinnie. He just wants to come up here and just be with Vinnie, but they're getting on a bit better today, even to the point where they were both on the city and Vinnie stuck his bum in the air and Logie smelt his bum.

And I thought, okay, that's, that's, that's almost like a ceasefire, isn't it? That's a, that's a white flag.

Like, okay, we decided to make peace. So I think the, the, the argument is now over. The one that they were having yesterday, and it seemed to carry on through the night as well.

At one point, Vinnie left the bed and he came and slept in there. He didn't want to be on the bed with Logie. So yeah, I don't know if they, they might have had an argument while I was asleep.

But the weird thing about it is the big dog, my friend's dog, is more loving to me than Vinnie is. And I've known him for longer, maybe that's why, but I've had Vinnie for nearly a year now. Literally, it's, it's, it might be a year.

In the next few days, it'll be a year. And I don't know, I think it's just the breed, Jack Russell's, they're just, he loves, I was thinking, you know, I was talking to a lady earlier when I was walking in. And I said, if every house on this estate, I don't know how many houses there are, probably a few hundred.

If every house had a little dog flap that you could just walk in and out. He'd leave in the houses, running around the gardens, running and just in and out of each other house all day long. He might not come back, he might come back, I don't know.

He might be away for a few days and then come back. Honestly, I mean, it's never going to happen. So I wouldn't know.

But he'd love that. He just loves being in new places, playing with new things, running around on new furniture, or different furniture. He's just, he's enthralled and he sees someone walking or someone getting in their car or someone opens their front door as they're walking past.

And he just, he's glued to the spot. He's fascinated by what's going on. And a little part of me, a little part of me would like to be more like that.

But then, no, that'd be, that'd be weird, wouldn't it? As a human being, I mean, to be fascinated by every little thing that happens. I mean, some may say that that is the, that's the ideal, but I don't know. I mean, there's too much stuff that goes on just in a minute.

There's too much, too many different things, too many variables to be focusing on each one. He's very easily distracted. Although he's getting a little bit better.

See, even when we're walking, because I don't let him off his lead hardly ever now. There's a couple of dogs I let him run around with. Outside of that, I don't let him off his lead.

Because he's not very good at the old recall. I don't mean, you know, exams and stuff. I mean, just come here.

I've got, I've got a counting thing now, like count to 10. Sometimes it works. Sometimes, most of the time, it doesn't work.

Sometimes it works. It looks really good when it works. I think it's a little bit like those, you know, as YouTube videos that show someone standing on a balcony, and then just chucking a baseball from behind, but over their head from, you know, with their back facing the basketball pitch, which is way down, and they're all the way up there somewhere.

And it lands right into the goal or the baseball net. Yeah, net, which is almost, it's an impossible, an impossible shot. And it looks like he's just done that.

Or they have just done it, but it's like, how? But it doesn't show you the hundreds of attempts, maybe 1000s of attempts even to get to do that. It doesn't, you know, you just see the one, the one shot. And I suppose like sports, isn't it? You see someone play tennis or play snooker for a couple of hours, but you don't see the 1000s of hours of practice that they put in every year, since the age of like, six months old, to get to the place where they could be so good.

I wonder who won the tournament? Who won snooker? Because snooker finals on a Sunday, I think. Snooker. Snooker.

Snooker. Here we go. Read more, read more, read more acceptable.

Ronnie O'Sullivan delights the fan as he spotted waiting for a bus. Oh, look, UK Championships 2023. This is one day ago.

Ronnie O'Sullivan claims record-extending eighth title. Wow. My friend would be over the moon about that if he was around.

He loves snooker and he loved, he loved Ronnie O'Sullivan. And yeah, been following him for, he's been around for absolutely years. He's, I think he won his first world title when he was about 17.

And now he's mid seventies. And I don't know how old he is. Younger than me, probably.

How old is he? Ronnie O'Sullivan. Ronnie O'Sullivan. 47.

So he won. I got part of that, right? I can't believe it. He did win.

I think it was the UK, it's the same tournament, this one. 17 in 1993. He won it.

The youngest ever. And that was 30 years ago. And now he's won it for the eighth time.

This is eighth. Yeah. Apparently.

Wow. Good for him. Can't argue with that.

As you know, 30 years, he's been at the top of his game. He's been like a force to, to, to, to, I don't know what the correct terminology is that reckon with or eat with, play with, finger. What is a force to explode, enjoy? I haven't had any orange juice in ages.

You may wonder, well, you come up with that. How did orange juice come up? We enjoy. It sounds a bit like orange juice, isn't it? Very similar words.

So I took Vinnie over to see his former mummy. I still call her his mummy. And he loved it over there.

I took both the dogs over there and Vinnie was loving it. He was running around. She's got a cat and the cat was in the bedroom with the door closed.

And Vinnie was all over everything that the cat had. All the toys he was playing with them. And I realised it's basically a cat, isn't he? He's the size of a cat, the size of a big cat.

So I'm going to get him some cat toys because I think he'd be happy with them. Staring at me now. I don't know.

I do know what he wants. He wants some wet food, but he's going to have to wait. It's not going to be long Vinnie.

You can have that in a little while. Logie's asleep. Vinnie's just going to have a little chill, just chill baby.

They've been eating the same dry food as each other, which that's good. It's always food there. Always.

Although I have got some more of his own dry food in. So what I'll do is I'll mix that up with some wet food and I'll give some to him and I'll give some to Logie so he's got some as well. So some of the wet food.

That way they can't argue. I tell you that the big dog doesn't stop eating. He does, but I mean there's a bowl of food there he's not touching.

But if I suddenly unwrapped, I don't know, a big doggy biscuit or something, something that dogs can eat. He'd be there ready. He's ready.

He's there with his little napkin, his knife and fork. He's just like, yep, ready. Straight away, even though he might have only eaten 30 seconds earlier.

Always got room in his tummy for some different food. Yeah. Bless.

What other things? So yeah, I'm working on the website. I've got this new design. I'll tell you what's happening.

Let's open it up. I shall explain it to you. So now there's if you go to the website, there's my contact details on there.

So as you know, basically, it's about the podcasts. So I've got a on the very first page, it just says podcasts. And there are 12345672 different podcasts.

I will add a few others if there's more as well. But that's the seven main ones. And Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

There's the ASMR deep sleep whisper hypnosis, relax and sleep hypnosis daily, sleepy boring objects, Jason's bedtime story time, stop smoking and the stress and pain relief. So I had them there before, but I've got something different now. They are click down buttons.

So you click on it. And then it opens up to so they say you got to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Really? And so there's no music, Let Me Bore You To Sleep music, five hours and 10 hours.

So there's four there. And you can click on there. And it goes to no music, Let Me Bore You To Sleep page.

And there is up to 1100 or all in 50s all the way down. And then click on there. And then it just gives you each 50 group of 50.

You can play download play download. So that's, it's not all complete, but the outline is getting there. See, I've been working on Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

But then I thought, I'm gonna do some work on the others as well to try and clean it up and make it look a bit better. So I've got the ASMR deep sleep whisper, no music, up to 550 recordings, 150, 150 to 100, so on to 500. And then a relaxing sleep hypnosis daily.

Again, no music, music, five hours and 10 hours. 150 to 250. So one one to 250.

So there's one, two, three, four, five pages there. And the same sleepy boring objects. It's you know, so I've done the same thing for each one.

And I'll keep working. I'm thinking just thinking I'm not 100%. But I might potentially, possibly maybe have everything on the website.

So have some pages with the embedded player, rather than send you to a different website to play it. It's just it's a lot a lot more work, but that might be an easier way to do it to have everything just in one place. I don't know what you think that might be might be an easier way to do it to do that.

So we'll see. We'll see. But the player can be I can just have a page with it embedded.

And I mean, even if I do that still, it'll all be done by the end of the year, it'll all be up uploaded and done. I mean, what I might do is whining. Once one dog starts whining, the other dog starts whining is see, I don't I don't might sound like being impatient and probably am.

But generally, I'm not that bothered by it. It's only when I'm doing these what I'm doing and recording. I don't want in the background staring at me staring.

Why are you staring at me? What do you want? What? What is it, honey? What is it? What? What is it darling? What is it? What is it my little butterfly? What is it my little cucumber? Oh, whoa, you're so beautiful. Yes, you are. Yes, you are.

Yes. Oh, yeah. I don't know what he wants.

I mean, with the advance in AI as it is progressing. And I imagine soon, we'll be able to communicate with dogs in a more suitable and useful manner, maybe, because it's just guesswork. I know some people think they know what a dog and he wants this is saying this to you.

Like, some people are very certain of certain things, aren't they? Very certain that they know. Yeah, that what he wants is this is licking your face because of this reason. You know, he's he's trying to control you, or he's he's trying to groom you and just to, you know, to make you like you would if he was your you were his child who thinks he's in charge of you.

Or maybe it's because I spread pedigree trouble over my cheeks. Maybe that's why he's licking my face. Hey, you think that did you wonder that? Maybe isn't because some psychological thing.

It's just because I've smeared my body with dog food. And on my body, but my face, that'd be weird. And this is a weird word, isn't it smeared? I smeared myself with fish oil.

I smeared. This is a weird word smeared. I don't know why.

He's such a wino. Then he just whines and whines. Never satisfied.

I mean, who'd have thought I'd end up living in my home at 53 years old, living with someone that's constantly dissatisfied with me. Who'd have thought that would happen? Hey, the other day, I think I took I left Fiddy here for a bit. I took Logie over to the pet shop.

Because that was last Wednesday, because we're going to try and see about getting a mask in. And can't believe it's a week ago. And I came back and I said sorry, really, because I left him on his own for about 40 minutes.

45 minutes, probably. And I said, Are you angry? He was barking. He said, I'm not angry.

I'm just disappointed. And I thought, here it goes. It's starting all over again.

Oh, brilliant. I've now disappointed another person in my life. Great.

He's looking at me like I should know better. I feel like I'm in detention. That teacher's just staring.

Just like what? What have I done? Well, if you don't know what you've done, I'm not going to tell you. It was one of the stupid things I used to hear when I was a kid. If you don't know why I'm angry, I'm not going to tell you.

Well, yeah, someone needs to tell me. I mean, if I generally, if I don't know, then there's no point me saying sorry, is there? I'm not going to learn from it. I want to be able to learn from my mistakes.

And that way, perhaps we can move on into a more stable and calm collective as a family. And who knows, our relationships may blossom and move in a new and more healing direction. And my brother would shout out, he hasn't done his homework.

And my dad would go, what? And then he'd lecture me for two hours about needing to do my homework. Yeah, I don't think it really got me. I never really understood why lecture me about not doing my homework when everyone knew I wasn't going to do my homework.

I thought it was understood. The teachers knew, I knew, all my friends knew. Why didn't the parents know? Why weren't they aware that I was not going to do my homework? Teachers quite often didn't even give me any homework, because they knew I wasn't going to do it.

In the last, I think the second from last year of high school, we got a dog. And I remember saying to the teacher, I've got a dog, because I was covered in hairs. And he said, I know.

I said, how do you know? He said, you've always had a dog. I said, no, I haven't. So who's been eating your homework all these years? Oh damn, my brother.

And he said, no, you've been lying to us. I said, no, I've got a budgie. He's a very, very, very aggressive budgie.

But you could say he's aggressive and progressive. He's aggressive, but at the same time, he does go to, he does, be learning to play the piano. I don't know.

I don't know where I'm going with that. He's learning French. Very progressive.

He, I did have a budgie. I did. Yeah, that didn't kind of end well.

We lived in a house that was too cold. When the heating wasn't on, it was, it was like being outside. Now, not all buildings are like that.

I've been in plenty of places that were okay. They weren't warm inside when there was no heating on, but it wasn't the same as being outside. And those that were really cold inside is because there hadn't been any heat on for maybe years or months.

Wines and wines. Yeah. It's probably cute.

Does it sound cute? It stopped sounding cute about 11 and a half months ago. I just feel like he's nagging at me. He's just a nagger.

Nag, nag, nag, nag, nag, nag. You haven't done this. You forgot to do that.

Where's my man? Man, man, man. It's like, oh, really? Never enough, am I? Never enough. Why can't you just accept me the way I am? Hmm.

Okay, I'll stop that. I'm amazed at how he can stare for so long. Does he? Do you think he thinks I'm talking to him? Because he doesn't know what a microphone is.

I guess he might do. I mean, he might have his own podcast. I don't know.

When I'm asleep, you might think, yeah, good. Come on. Welcome to Doggy Kong.

I don't know. What would a dog, what kind of podcast would a dog have? We hate cats. I don't know.

Just maybe it could be, couldn't it? It's a bunch of dogs moaning about their owners. He keeps farting. He keeps sitting at the table and he just talks into this thing.

And I don't know what he's talking about. But it's so boring. And I look at him.

He thinks I'm looking so I'm interested, but I'm actually just there. I can't move because I've got so bored. And my my feet are just stuck to the floor.

And I just just don't know what to do. I start moaning and groaning and whining and I'm asking for help because I can't move and I'm scared and he just keeps talking and talking and talking and talking. And I just wish he'd just like stop and maybe pick me up and give me a cuddle just to just a little bit, you know, kindness and love.

But no, he just keeps talking and talking and talking. I stare at him. I move my head from back back and forward to make myself look cute.

I've got a constant frown on my face, but that's not my fault. And one of my ears is poking down. I thought people would like that, but some do.

He doesn't seem to be bothered. Doesn't seem to care. I even let him pick up my poo at least twice a day.

He shows no appreciation. I eat up all his food that he gets. He never says, well done.

He just really just doesn't appreciate me at all. So I have to keep whining to try and get his attention to me, to try and make him stop talking about absolutely nothing. It's nonsense.

Nonsense. And I don't know why he keeps doing it. He's been doing this for years.

No one listens to him. I'm the only one that listens to him and I don't understand what he's saying because he speaks in some weird language that isn't, it's not doggy talk. I don't mind it.

When he's not, when he's not doing that thing, the podcast thing, he likes his, he talks properly like good boy. He says good boy to me and we go for a walk and he wears your ball on a bone on a bone, you know, proper doggy talk. But when he's, when he's doing the podcast, he's just, he's talking using words that I don't understand.

And I sit under the table and I stare at him and I moan. I even put my hands on the chair and like sniff him and try and bite and try and get his attention maybe to play fight, but nothing seems to work. I just don't know what to do.

But sometimes I have to just start making more noise, like yeah, make it a bit louder because it's almost like he can't hear me. So sometimes I have to actually debark and like scream at him to get his attention and I, and he just, he just, he doesn't look, I'm doing it and he just would not hear me. He's not paying attention to me.

You mean a little bit like when I was trying to get you to come away from the other door when it's time to go upstairs again and you completely ignored me? Like that you mean? When we're out and I say, come on and you won't come and let me put the lead on you? You mean like that when you completely ignored me? Yeah? He just doesn't understand.

He doesn't get it. He just doesn't get it.

He just talks at me with that silly language. It's all I hear. He just gobbledygooping.

It just doesn't make sense to me. I just wish he'd just grow up. He's just such a child.

I'm fed up having to, I feel like I'm his parent and it's not fair. All I want is my food. I want some food and I want constant attention whenever I want it and then when I don't want any attention, I want him to leave me alone.

It's all I want. When I want to go out, I want him to know that I want to go out and I need him to know that before I tell him. He should be able to read my mind.

Yeah. But he doesn't though does he? Doesn't even try to. Doesn't even attempt it.

It's like he doesn't care. I just don't know what to do with him. If he keeps up, I might have to move out.

I might go and find someone else to boss around because this, you know, I think he's, I think I've broken him. He's turned into a rubbish assistant and he's here to help me and he just doesn't seem to do anything anymore. I think I'm just going to give myself a bit of a lick now.

See you later. Bye. That's exactly what he's doing right now.

Get right in there son. What on earth are you? He, yeah, he likes to give himself a bath. That's what they call it with cats, isn't it? Cat bath.

It does fascinate me though that Logie is asleep. He falls asleep within seconds of laying down and once he lays down, you can't move him. Literally cannot physically move him because he's so heavy.

He's like an elephant. He hasn't got the trunk but other than that, he's like an elephant. Exactly like an elephant without a trunk or no, he's not like an elephant.

Why am I saying that? He's not really, he's not big enough. He's probably the size of a baby elephant probably, but not like a huge proper big water buffalo, whatever they're called. I did see an elephant.

Oh, did I ever tell you this is funny? This is very funny. And I went to the local zoo about 10 years ago, probably longer actually, 12 years ago. And there was an enclosure bit and it was a part where you could, the elephants are very close to the, what's the things that are really long necks? Giraffes, that's it, giraffes.

So the elephants are quite close to the giraffes. Now the giraffes, they are big. I mean, I know giraffes are big, but they really are big.

I mean, they're the largest animals in the world. I think giraffes like height wise, absolutely huge. Well, there was a school trip.

I wasn't on a school trip. I was an adult. And I just started university.

So we're talking probably about 2008. So it's blimey. 15 years ago to 2008.

And I go to the to the thing, winding me up now. Were you? Good girl. And there was all this laughing.

So I was I was basically looking at the elephants. And there's always laughing. These kids started laughing.

I looked over. And there was a male giraffe and a female giraffe enjoying each other's company as it were. It was something to see.

It was like, wow. It was like, wow. I mean, everything was in proportion.

That's just just, you know, wow. And blimey. So it was.

It was very funny, though. Because they're really little kids as well. They weren't like teenagers or little kids.

And I think the teachers were a bit embarrassed. Didn't expect that to be happening. And the zoo staff were trying to separate them.

And let's face it. The size of the staff compared to the giraffes was quite a difference in size. And they couldn't separate them.

And in the end, the staff were just rolling around laughing. They probably weren't rolling around, but they were they were finding it humorous. I found it very funny.

As I tell a story, it doesn't seem quite as funny as what it did at the time. But it did. It was funny.

I suppose if you watch a lot of nature programs, wildlife programs, you have seen stuff like that. And it's just just just a thing. But I don't really watch a lot of those wildlife programs because they're a little bit too gritty for me.

A little bit too real. A little bit too much. Hunty, you know, hunting is that I don't not really into that at all.

The whole I know they've all got a week, but yeah, not my thing. So to see it live to see to you. Well, there's no small giraffes or baby giraffes, I guess.

But even baby giraffes are probably the size of a house. I don't know if that's true. No, I don't know.

Don't you don't a giraffes born able to walk when they're born? I mean, I might make that up, but it might be true. Wow. Let me know in the comments.

I better go and see what his majesty is expecting from me. I'm ready. Okay, tell me what you want.

What is it? I know what I want. I've got to sit down and have something to eat. You've all been out in the garden an hour ago, so you don't need to go out again.

Unless of course you do. I mean, that's the thing, isn't it? Because no one tells us today, you've already been to the toilet. You went an hour ago.

Can't go again. It seems kind of a bit harsh to say that to a dog. Don't say it to a cat.

They'd never forgive you. Oh, Logie just licked. Vinnie just licked Logie's nose.

That's nice. Not so nice considering what he was licking a minute ago. But you know, generally, it's quite affectionate.

Mind you, what was Logie sniffing a half an hour ago? So it's all the same place. Anyway, I'm going to go now. Thanks.

Thanks ever so. Really though. Thank you.

And I'm going to have something to eat. And if there's time, publish this recording tonight. If not, then tomorrow.

Because I don't know what time it is. It's got to be gone. Blimey, it's five to nine.

So it's definitely probably a little bit too late to get it out today. But we'll see. I mean, there's still there's still time to kind of maybe do it.

We'll have a look. By the way, if you're using if you use Google Podcasts, just let you know that Google Podcasts will be ceasing to exist next year. They're getting rid of them.

So I just let you know, there's a few podcasts have closed down over the last year. I think tuning is one. So but yeah, if you if you rely on Google Podcasts, try and maybe find a different podcast host, or different podcast provider.

Because Google Podcasts is they've given notice that they're not they're not going to be doing podcasts anymore. After a certain date, which I think is next springtime next year, I think I might I don't know the exact date. But you can you can Google it to see.

So take care. Remember to be kind to yourself. Because you do deserve to be happy.

Lots of love. Bye