#1046 - Annoying the family - Let me bore you to sleep

Hello and to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name is Jason Newland. Newland.

I do have a website, it's jasonnewland.com. It was down for a few days, but now it's up again. And what is it? Only listen when you can safely close your eyes. And you may, in the background, hear little vinegar chomping away on a bone.

So, yeah, I can hear him. I'm not sure if you can hear him. So, it's been a bit of a weird week really.

I haven't made a recording for a few days. Not many days, just a few. Although I did do one yesterday.

But it was a stress reduction or stress relief, short stress relief technique thing. And so that lasted less than 10 minutes. And as I was laying in bed, because I did this just before I went to bed last night.

I was laying in bed and I had all these ideas flooding into my little brain. And, okay, my left buttock. But anyway, the ideas were coming.

And I really thought I should get up and write these down, but I didn't. That's the whole story, that's it really. Then I went to sleep.

I had a weird sleep actually. I dreamt, right, I dreamt that I woke up and it was only early, like it was too early to get up. And I was so disappointed because I wanted to get out of bed and I wanted to get up.

I wanted to start the day and have my breakfast. And then I woke up and it was time to get up, pretty much. Weird, isn't it? And for those of you that are listening for the first time, that was actually one of the most interesting stories I've ever told.

Just, you know, just to let you know, just a heads up. And it's been weird this week. I've had a few financial blips.

And for some reason, my bank has allowed payments to be taken out and put me into an overdraft when I don't actually have an official overdraft. And it did it with two different payments. Well, no, one payment, maybe two, but I don't know.

But it was, I was, yeah, two payments because initially I was £98 overdrawn and then I was £104. So I'm not quite sure what the other thing was for. I need to start keeping track of this stuff.

So. It was just just weird, weird, weird, weird. So I had to borrow some money.

But I couldn't borrow, I needed £50 to get me through till today. But I needed to borrow £150 to cover the overdraft. Because if I borrowed £50, it would have just taken £50 off the debt and left me with minus £50 instead of minus, or minus £54 instead of minus £104.

And trying to explain this to the person I was trying to borrow money off. And I only borrowed money for one day. I actually borrowed it yesterday.

I left it right away till the end of the week. And I thought, well, I could do with, you know, I've been eating breakfast cereal for a couple of days. And I thought, you know, if I can just, you know, I was right.

I didn't have any dog food. I didn't, you know, anything. Do you hear a little tiny violin? I used to play the violin.

And that's that what I did then with my voice sounded better than I was when I played it. It's true. I was awful.

Really, really not very good. And the only good thing about it is I knew that it annoyed everyone in the house. And it was hard to top it.

It was hard to top that noise. So I gave the violin up. I was in junior school.

And I went to high school the next year. So I played the violin for about a year, I think, maybe longer. And I went to high school.

And in the first year of high school, I started going to the Sea Cadets. And there was something missing from my life, from my home life. And that was that feeling of being able to leave the living room, the, you know, the.

Sitting room or whatever you think you should call it, a sitting room, you know, where the families sit around and watch telly and stuff. I used to miss being able to walk out there, leave my family sitting there watching the telly, nice and calm and contented and peaceful. And going up to my room and just destroying that piece with excruciating noise from an instrument.

And I missed that. That's the one thing I missed about the violin. Knowing that.

You know, there is part like, but you need to practice. He needs, I remember hearing an argument. It sounds awful.

We've got to stop him doing it. And then there was the other argument. Well, if he doesn't practice, it can always sound bad.

You know, the only way it can sound bearable is if he practices enough to get a little bit better. So, you know, I think the goal was to have me practice enough so I sounded like a two month old baby playing the violin. That would, you know, that level.

And I kind of missed that feeling, that feeling of being able to make a difference in the household. So I joined the Sea Cadets and I remember going home that evening. And I'd been in the Sea Cadets a little while.

I went home and I remember saying to my parents and I think my brothers were there as well. I said, do you remember when I used to play the violin? And they looked at me like, yeah, yeah. When you gave that up, that was the best thing you ever did.

And I pulled out my bugle, which I got from the band because I joined the band in the Sea Cadets. Specifically to take the bugle home so I could be playing that. And that was even noisier.

That was way louder. And it was, it was a highlight so far of my life. Nothing's really topped that feeling of winning.

That sounds pathetic, doesn't it? Anyway, so I played, if you don't know what a bugle is, it's kind of, it's like a trumpet kind of thing. And a brass instrument. So basically you, you spit into the nozzle and there's nothing that you, you control everything with your tongue.

So you control the whole, everything is with your tongue done. And obviously breathing and stuff as well. So there's no like buttons to press or anything like that.

And so in some ways, it's a much harder thing to play. I'm guessing, dance than something that you've got buttons that push down to create a sound. But that's coming from complete ignorance.

So I've got no idea if it's true or not. I never played a trumpet, never played a flute. Did I play the recorder? But everyone, I think in those days, in the, you know, late seventies, early eighties, every kid played the recorder because we kind of had no choice.

But they did do a thing where they put it into disinfectant, near the end of the nozzles, into disinfectant. So all the recorders were disinfected before hand them out. They, yeah, they started doing that.

Well, I did ask someone, asked the teacher, when did you start doing this disinfectant? They said the day you started at school. I said, oh, okay. And which is just lucky for me, I guess, wasn't it? So there was a time though, when I played the bugle and it just, I did start to get okay at it, to be honest.

It was quite easy to play. And here's one of the tunes. I'm not going to do it loudly.

Don't worry. It doesn't sound good, does it? Okay. But is this the tune? I still remember and I was only like 11.

So it's a little while ago. Do, do. Do, do.

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Do, do.

Do, do. Do, do. Something like that.

So that's one of the, I hear an applause. It's really weird. I just got this big feeling that everyone listening, we're just clapping.

Yeah imagination is a wonderful thing so I remember things were going wrong when my dad said you're getting quite good aren't you?

my plan had backfired so I was determined I needed to correct that situation and that smile and that almost that look of encouragement that my dad gave me that look on his face changed the next evening when I walked home from sea cadets holding a drum I've changed the instrument dad I've now got a drum and that's even louder than a bugle and in some ways more fun now I remember how to play it well I don't remember how I know how the thing went but you just copy you know

as other people do and you just copy it and the good thing about it is if you're in a band being in the band in the sea cadets the benefit was I didn't have to get involved in some of the other stuff that was going on now you might think well what do you mean you didn't have to you didn't have to go in the first place it's true I mean technically it's true but the only reason I went to the sea cadets was because I didn't want to go home

I was looking for somewhere to go and it was cold and me and my friend just wandered into the Tuesday night or something we wandered into this hall where the sea cadets was and it was just up the road from the school so I passed it a few times a few hundred times probably not that night I'd be weird walking just walk out what you keep walking past for 200 times you've walked past do you want to join join join no nothing like that I went in there anyway and they

they're very welcoming not like a cult but you know they're not as welcoming as a cult but they they you know they those like come in and there was people there that I knew there was kids that I went to school with and that's one of the benefits I think having been with the sea cadets helped and also doing karate helped with is because I went to there was two high schools two we used to call them high schools anyway in my town and really never really got to meet the

people from the other school unless I guess you were related to them or whatever or so two people lived in a certain part of town went to one school and other people lived in another part of the town went to the other school now I lived in the other part of town to start with so I went to the junior school for about a year there when I was eight seven yeah seven to eight or whatever and my so we moved into the town which was nearer to the high school

but even though we moved both my older brothers continued at the other school and went to the high school there I went to a different junior school and ended up going to a different high school so from the age of eight I say nine eight and a half yeah yeah eight and a half or whatever I don't know nine eight nine something like that I was at a different school to my brothers up to them we were together the whole time you know from birth well not from birth but you

know from like during school period we were kind of at the same schools wherever we lived as far as I'm aware now I might not be correct actually because my oldest brother was four when I was born and I lived with foster parents in ages about six months to two years old and we were living separate we weren't living with him so he probably he might have gone to a school and but then I wasn't old enough to go to school I don't know what my other brother did because he

was two years older so but he was still only four when who knows who knows but can you believe I've got a brother who's 57 57 years old that's just the number number double weird and it weird I remember it was only blimey I remember when he was 10 I do I tell you what's weird is I gave him that big thing and he's not eating it he's gone back to eating his little bones I think it's too big for him wonder how I'm gonna be able to break it oh

well I'm sure I'll have another little go and later on he's just be too big for his mouth doesn't normally stop him but it's giving him the the urge to chew on something so you know when I first got him he had a is it called a haggard yeah I don't know a tooth that was overlapping another tooth and I thought I was gonna have to take him to the dentist or something and I wasn't sure if he was in pain and it was people were saying it was wobbly but

I couldn't really feel it wobble plus he wouldn't let me touch it but after about two months of having him maybe three months I don't know I noticed that it wasn't there anymore so all the chewing it had been doing had pulled it out and then I found a couple of months ago I found a what looks like a tooth I don't know where it is now and I think it might have been that they came out you may ask what's that got to do with bugles and violins and drums

and the sea cadets different schools you went to but but you expecting this to follow some kind of reason this isn't I've not got this written down you know I'm not following it like I've done done a B and C now D let's talk about shoes or we could skip to F and talk about ingrown toenails I do get ingrown toenails I didn't get them really yeah I did no I'm not I did get them but it was only really when I worked at the chip shop and my feet were

wet all the time at work now if I'd been sensible or if I had some money I would have bought myself some proper boots that you know not Wellington boots because that's just a bad look I was 16 years old or 15 years old I didn't want to be seen walking around in Wellington boots serving the customers you know what it looks smart although I didn't look smart but I didn't you know there's a limit there's a limit and so I used to wear trainers and they got completely completely soaked

smell of fish smell of it really bad and which would explain why I didn't have much luck well I thought that's why I didn't have much luck with women but then I realized well I wasn't sure to be honest you know I left I left the chip shop after two years and I still wasn't having much luck and I went to a counselor and I explained the situation as I don't understand it I'm young healthy and you know decent person but I just don't seem to be very successful with with

girls and I was like what 18 or something at the time and I can't figure it out I can't understand it and the counselor said to me if you tried looking in a mirror that's a bit rude so yeah so I pooed on a desk no I didn't I didn't do that so it was or maybe did I no I don't think no I didn't I wasn't very confident you know there was a time when I was at school when I was doing karate I had confidence probably for the first

time in a way I mean it all depended on my mood there was times when I had them when I was when I was in the right mood or the wrong mood depend on how you look at it I would feel confident but the problem I had is I was tiny I was very very small for my age I was well behind everybody I was a child amongst men in the heart in the last year of school there was all these men walking around big strong muscles hair beard some of

them could grow a beard you know deep voices all taller than me you know head and shoulders above me and there's me you know little little old me three pubes Jason three pubes they used to call me which is a bit rude and I don't know why I mean yeah my my my comeback was all what why are you looking but that didn't really work as a comeback for some reason during gym I would never ever undress I just didn't like it in my undressing when it came to PE or

gym time during gym and apart from once when I did and the gym teacher said can you wait until you get into the changing rooms but okay the one time I actually do do it it's like yeah but I didn't feel comfortable I don't want to get undressed with these people I just don't you know I mean it's some of these kids I've known for years for like five six years or something so you kind of get to know someone and they were all kids apart from maybe two there were

already adults 11 most of the others kind of you know they became adults physically during high school I just I'm still I'm still waiting still waiting for it to happen I'm thinking it work one day one day I'll become a man if it's safe to say that anymore I don't know and I don't care oops oh no I've just been cancelled you can't cancel me no I'm not a television show blimey is there's a lot been going on I can't mention it really but there's been a lot going on in

this country regarding a celebrity comedian and it's just one sentence that really and again I don't have to you know just one sentence from someone and it's the only thing I'll say is this person said this this person was young at the time legal age but young and she was dating this comedian who was 30 at the time and she said he taught her how to lie to her parents and that's the most untrue thing I think I've ever heard in my life that any anyone over the age of 16

has to be taught how to lie to their parents it's it's just the biggest that in itself is one of the most ridiculous things I've heard in my life ever just that one sentence everyone lies to their parents if they can get away with it I'm not talking even big lies just you know I didn't set fire to the shed that you know just something like that little lies wasn't me wasn't me no you know this is like I didn't block the toilet with my little brother no no but I

didn't you know I didn't I didn't it wasn't me I didn't do that and especially if you grow up in a household with other kids with other siblings it's almost survival of the best liar it you have to and it's almost because you got I had three brothers two older brothers and it was always like trying to blame other get the blame on to another another one of us and it's almost like I'd have to lie even though I wasn't I didn't do what I was they were trying to make

out that I'd done but I had to lie to put myself out of that situation to pretend I was somewhere else when I wasn't there but it moved me further away from the possibility of having committed that particular daily crime that I was being accused of by my brothers so lying is just something that happens unfortunately I mean I like to think of its white lies back then I did fibs fibs it's a nice word isn't it fibs it still means smelly liar but still fibs it's just a fib white

lie what you mean like a white witch still a witch fibs telling porkies where did that come from telling porkies porky pies lies I say okay rhyming slang makes no sense because firstly rhyming slang the old the whole point of using a terminology like 50 or is it Hawaii 50 or you know for the police or the feds for the police or the you know using that terminology is so that the people that aren't in your little group don't know what you're talking about that's part of the reason of having

little secret Cody words doesn't work if everyone knows what it is you're saying it kind of makes it a bit defunct you get me swear down is I don't know I find it very strange and I imagine that's what it was like for my granddad's generation you know having the 60s imagine when the 60s came in and my granddad would have been he was 29 in 39 so 29 in 39 blimey so that makes him 29 in 39 so 69 he'd have been 59 59 it'd have been 39 49 so

yes it had been 50 when the 60s started I think it it would have been a shock to him well not just him but to his generation to have like the new music that was coming out and everything was from what I understand was starting to change there is a degree of prosperity maybe I've been told from multitude of people that they could just walk out of one job and start a new job the next day it's easy you know so it's quite hard for businesses to keep employees nobody got

paid very well I don't think but they didn't need so much money which doesn't really make sense but but then the house was about I think the price of a house is a price of a packet of biscuits now I mean you could buy a house for that a couple of pound or something and it's amazing isn't it or maybe you've got to go back a few hundred years but still there was a time when you could buy a house for two pound 22 you know there's parts of the country

where you can still own a house two bedroom house for less than a hundred thousand pounds I didn't even know that until recently well till about three hours ago when I had someone told say on the radio I don't know if it's true but I'm gonna just accept it as fact and use it for future reference for the rest of my life and yeah even argue argue the case if I have to so yeah I decided I've just stuck it in my factual part of my brain there's plenty of room

in there so I didn't write down the ideas I had for these stress relief techniques but I do remember two one involved buttocks when they both involved buttocks yeah no but did they yeah I think they both involved buttocks well I'll walk through one with you I walk through one with you so the idea for this one I would do a little catchy tune this is stress relief technique of the day so the idea of this one is okay and I realized that when I want to think about these techniques

I seem to think about and I'm coming from my own perspective which is not ideal because I'm possibly you know not like everybody else in the world all differently but the thing that's kind of really probably bugged me the most over my life has been people not all people just individuals that have been problematic and I know that I've been problematic to other people as well so I'm not proud of it maybe a little bit proud I feel brilliant I'm over the moon with myself no I wasn't just I want

to say young and silly but you know what is young I mean is yesterday young I don't know I'm not sure yeah it hasn't stopped really the silliness is still carried on but you know I do I do I make an attempt make an attempt at being a mildly decent human being I pretend and I do my best I do I try sometimes I try I've never tried never tried I don't know why I haven't said that I've never even no never made any effort so this technique right this is

based again kind of on the one I did yesterday in a sense of a person has said something that is upset you you know it's been in an interaction with a human a human a human a human of whatever persuasion that they may be a living sapien sapien sapien you know living organism that you able to communicate with and understand that communication I'm not saying that people that you can't understand the communication means they're not human because technically I mean of course they are obviously but you know I mean a

person a person what I'm just what I'm just saying person a person so you got this person and they've annoyed you and they've really really really just like you know and this happens to me sometimes and I just it can be a little bit of a trigger for me and I'll end up getting a bit moody I'm understating it by the way there's an understatement because I'm bipolar it's it's a bit more than just a bit moody but anyway this is a technique that might be useful for every anybody okay

children and adults not just not just not just children but adults as well I'm not just adults but children as well monkeys and dogs and cats anyone really so you got this person so what you really do is you think of the person remember the conversation you had but just remember their face and see them saying what they said to you maybe you can hear what they're saying and just a clip of it the clip that really like bugged you the most and see maybe they're angry and whatever in their

face and they're telling you off or whatever it was okay so if it's a teacher they've told you off and it could be anything like you know get off the roof or just get off the desk it could be you know stop hiding all the furniture whatever it is in a teacher might say to you stop hiding all the teachers and don't take them hostage that's wrong but you know just if you if you think about something that a person said whether it's a manager or just an annoying person could

be me could be me doing this podcast like oh that was annoying just imagine me sitting here and covered in bacon oil actually bacon oil not baking or bacon oil smeared all over myself and a few dandelions just you know spread over my body so that you know just I'm just how what you imagine I would be making a podcast wearing a duck face no I don't wear a duck face but and imagine there's a table and I've got me microphone actually it's not a microphone it's a old yogurt pot

and I'm pretending it's a microphone because I am delusional and the fact is this isn't a real podcast because no one ever listens to it because I never actually upload it because I don't actually have the internet and I'm just pretending that I make podcasts and I use a yogurt pot imagining it's a decent microphone and I don't even have a dog I'm just I'm the one that is making that sound in the background because luckily now I can't think of a way to explain that one I'm scraping me 18

inch toenails across a bone that's weird but that is strange no I'm not drunk I'm not I haven't had an alcoholic beverage since September last year so there doesn't suit me you know doesn't suit me anymore never really been into drinking alcohol for years but you know if I go away or try to drink just to do something a bit different and does not suit me it's very the opposite in fact it's mmm no so I can't anymore it's terrible wish I could I can't I don't wish I could I'm

not like please please just let me be able to drink alcohol again not not that kind of wish I think pretty wish for a lottery win above that so if you think of a person don't don't think of me balancing a microwave on the top of my head I don't know that stuff it's just think of a person and they're a Noidra see their face there's so many different things you can do to change it but with this one I've just remembered one of the things on last night oh yeah

anyway see you got this and what you know they finish what they're saying and they turn their back on you okay so up to this point have it be exactly as it was and just feel you can feel what you felt you won't be able to feel what you felt back then because it's me talking about it and just by talking about it and focused on it in this environment it diminishes it because you with a different space and this is just a healing healing space space I said heal yourself

now it's a healing space and it changes because it's hard to take things seriously I think I'm even though I'm trying to be a very serious religious healer nobody seems to be taking me as seriously as I'd like to be taken you know it's not as easy to be a guru as I thought it would be it's really not that easy it's almost like oh you know people say oh well you make me laugh I'm not trying to make you laugh I'm trying to I'm trying to just be your guru

I want to be a guru the thing is I found I finally I've been wanting to do something I never quite knew what it was I wanted to do I finally found something that sounds interesting and I can spell the word guru g-u-l-r easy it's a very simple word to spell so okay so you've got this person you've got their face you know the whole of their body but you're looking at their face maybe you've got their chest and their stomach you know it might be the whole of them but

not the whole not the whole but you know I mean their upper body I mean like their arms shoulders I mean it's all gonna be there isn't it it's not like the shoulders aren't gonna be on there where the knees were but they could be you know as far as you know imagination goes but we're not doing that we're not mixing body parts and stuff because it's not that kind of audio and so what happens now is they've done the conversation they said the whole thing they said and you know

ideally choose if you're gonna do it I probably don't want to do it because you probably can't be bothered but I mean I can't be bothered to even tell you it to be honest it's to be fair it's a little bit of a chore for me I can't be asked I'd kind of I regret even mentioning now I feel I have to fall I have to follow through you know and I can't be bothered I just can't I'd much rather go back to talking about the violin but I can't think

of a way back to that subject because for some reason I've moved on from the whole being at school stuff to talking about stress relief techniques and I was like oh how boring it's not boring to me but I mean it's it's like a different thing to this this because this technique is very serious and it's a very advanced therapeutic technique that takes many years of study it's taken me 25 years of studying to to create this technique and that can make maybe change your life but the fact is it's

like these recordings aren't really about that they're more jovial and light-hearted and not supposed to be therapeutically useful in that way necessarily more relaxing and maybe a bit boring and sleepy ish and you know just I know some people I pretend that I'm boring and I've got a boring voice but we all know that I've got very exciting voice my voice is very exciting I'm sure you all agree isn't it yes now thank you you know there was a time right there was a time and this is in the 90s

80s and 90s when people used to leave voicemail messages when they first got the you know the voicemail recorders that you could record your own message on this is long before mobile phones and for some reason when you first the first ones they got they had a voice that said hello I offer early of a message not you after the beep and then the new ones gave you the opportunity to create and record your own message and I was funny about this is people started leaving messages but it sounded like

robots hello you are through to Stevens recording phone please leave a message after the time and they were leaving monotonous almost robotic messages whoops that's weird a bit not a bit noisy they were leaving messages not message like recorded answer machine messages or are they called messages you leave a message then you get a message they both messages so when you call someone and there's a message on the phone saying please leave a message after the thing is that a message was it an announcement I don't know so you've got

this person in front of you okay not in front of you now you know if you were to do the exercise and they're going on really whatever if the conversation was about that perhaps felt crappy about later on or during a time over and then you see them turn their head and walk away and as they walk away you see the back of the head and it's two buttocks like two bums bum buttocks and you see that they're just vibrating there's wobbling as he walks away or she walks away this

on the back of his head or her head now if you want to add a little bit to it you can just add some fart noises just a bit of gas coming coming out the back of the head but nothing all what difference is that gonna make but do it again go back rewind it and go back to them talking then turning around because the thing is you know what's gonna happen now you didn't know it before so now they're talking now in reality if that person was trying to talk

down to you or trying to tell you off or humiliate you or whatever anything like that and you knew that they had buttocks on the back of their head how serious would you be able to take them as a person of authority I mean obviously it's nothing if someone had buttocks on the back of their head there's still yes there's still person the per you know there still can be a love loveable you know what I mean it's they're still human I mean I don't know if it's I'm not prejudiced

against people with buttocks on the back of their head that's what I'm saying if someone was trying to belittle you in you know in front of other people or just maybe just on your own or anything like that and you knew that they have big old wobbly buttocks very sweaty ones for some reason and and they were what you knew they were wobbling while the person was nodding their head at you and you knew behind them they were wobbling around and also you were aware that when they turned around you

were gonna see those and you might have to duck so that you didn't get hit in the face by one of the buttocks okay and there was an awful smell coming out as well I was like oh what was that smell so how seriously would you take the person you know in all reality it's kind of there's lots of different things you can do in that situation I mean if you if you're sitting at a desk or you're being told off by somebody a manager sitting the other side of the

desk and they're telling you off or as a teacher or something and you imagine they're sitting on the toilet so you can see just above the desk the shirt the tie maybe if they're wearing a tie or the dress or whatever they're wearing that they want to wear because they're allowed to wear whatever they want to wear maybe but you know whatever I feel like I'll explain every single thing these days but I'm not going to so they're saying all this stuff to you like and you're like taking it all

in it's like oh and you gotta pretend to be interested in what they're saying and if you knew that underneath that desk they were doing a big smelly one I was sitting on the toilet releasing a giant just almost like a chocolate octopus or something I don't know giving birth to a chocolate octopus it's like it's really you know and it's not alive obviously I mean that would be weird mind you a chocolate octopus would be kind of weird but then I suppose someone telling you off sitting down a desk

with a suit on or whatever but actually sitting on the toilet doing a poo that's probably weird as well is it as weird as me mentioning it I don't know so that's another little technique you could use you know it's like you imagine them you can do that in the moment maybe hopefully it doesn't make you laugh but you can imagine them like and especially if you focus on their their face and if at any point they look like they're straining you know or if it like you know some people

like they look almost when they're trying to think of something to say they look like they might be straining a little bit or if they smile or if they look relaxed you know that they've done the deed I feel they feel nice and empty and it can reduce reduce how you feel it can change how you feel in the moment now if you are listening to this and you're a kid and you're at school not at school now but you know and your teachers saying something and being maybe disciplining or

you know just whatever it's a serious moment try not to imagine your teachers sitting at the desk and underneath the desk is a big toilet and they're doing a big massive poo try not to imagine that or if it's if you're at work you know your managers being a little bit annoying just you know or a colleague or or anyone really bus driver I don't know just you try not to imagine but if you you could use that as a technique which might be useful in the moment if needed you

know it's not necessarily useful all the time so there's a few little things it's that you could have and a lot of the things I think about is concerning humans but there's other situations that could be kind of similar where you can find ways to relax I mean this is a way to relax just listening to me blabbering on about absolutely nothing for an hour and even though I do sometimes go a little bit quiet for a little while I don't mean during the recording but you know so maybe I

go a few days occasionally I've gone a few weeks about making recordings but not for some while I will be doing this for as long as I'm able so you know I'm not going anywhere wherever I am in the world I plan to be doing this and out of all the recordings I do these are the ones I enjoy making most that Let Me Bore You To Sleep I'll be honest I should I shouldn't really have a favorite and they're all my little children and they you know the deep sleep

whisper hypnosis the relax and sleep hypnosis daily the sleepy boring objects Jason's bedtime story time and I've forgotten what other ones there are but these are stress and pain relief or chronic pain relief one as well so even though the chronic pain relief was the thing that I first wanted to do I realized very early on you know back in 2006 because I started focusing on chronic pain relief in 2004 2006 is when I first started actually seeing people but I was not sure I did see people in 2004 as

well but you know that was more people I knew so you know pain relief was a thing that I really wanted to do but I discovered very early on that one of the biggest ways to relieve or to increase physical comfort is relaxation whatever the physical comfort is a relief from it's that relaxation that calmness of the body calmness of the mind maybe focusing on something different maybe being bored and as I said earlier we're all aware that I'm not boring I mean I have probably the most exciting voice anyone's

ever heard ever anywhere in the world but you know we don't focus on that we don't focus on the fact that I probably am potentially the most interesting person's ever ever lived in the history of being alive but we don't have to focus on that because okay we know what we know in it hey we know what we know and that's the main thing that is the main thing that we know we know in it so it's probably time for me to bring this to a nice sexy close not sexy

clothes but closing so that's it really so I think of another technique before we go just sort of top my head here's another one if someone's saying something that's maybe they're just this they're talking and they're stressing you out a little bit or they're just like they're not enjoying the conversation just imagine a big finger moving very very slowly towards their ear and just like moving up and down like it's gonna scratch their ear and then moving away a little bit maybe you can pull out and see a big hand

with that finger perhaps you could see another hand moving up from below about to pick their nose maybe another hand patting them on their head but not quite touching them otherwise they'd know wouldn't they so they keep talking but they're unaware that these big hands one's about to pat them on their head one's about to poke them in the ear in the ear or maybe you know flick their ear now one's about to poke them you know pick their nose and you know just things like that play around with it

it can change how you see them you know I'm not saying this is something that's useful to do if you actually want to have a sensible conversation with your manager and but you know it's just something that may be useful so that's it from me for today I might actually make a short recording for some of those other techniques that I've mentioned so don't tell anyone take care remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy be gentle with yourself and do something nice for yourself take it easy relax and be cool baby lots of love bye