#1035 Compounded boredom - Let me bore you to sleep

Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Yeah, yeah. My name is Jason and please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

Yeah, man. Hello, everybody. How are you? Are you? Huh? So I'm a bit tired.

I need to do this recorded a bit earlier in the day because it's 20 past seven and I'll be honest, you know how I don't like to be honest. Well, this occasion I shall try to be honest. I could go to sleep.

Though I haven't had my dinner yet. So that's not really ideal. So I need to eat at some point.

But yeah, tired, tired, tired, tired, tired, really tired, proper, proper tired. So today I have on my website, jasonnewland.com if I didn't mention that. A wonderful place.

Wow, it's an it really is fantastic. Basically, every new recording podcast episode is available on there to stream instantly. It's just there.

So whenever I upload a new recording, it's ready. So to give you an example, today so far, recordings you may not know about is number 508. Clear in your mind, deep sleep, whisper hypnosis.

And then there's the music version of that one. And there's number 205. Relax and sleep hypnosis daily.

You are wonderful. That's 90 minutes long. The other one is 23 minutes and eight seconds long.

So that's what I've done today. I have done four versions of each recording, but I just not released them yet. They're all uploaded and ready, but we're not all ready, but they're up.

Just need a little bit of tweaking and twerking and twopping and you know, administrational duties. And they will be released throughout the rest of the day and the morning time, you know, early hours. So including this recording as well when it's completed.

So hopefully, hopefully, I'll be in bed by about 11. Hopefully, I didn't get in bed till about half 11 last night. It's very late for me.

Often I'm in bed by 10. I just prefer it. I like to go to bed early, get up early.

Even if I go to bed early or late, I still get up early. Or sometimes later. It depends.

Blimey. What am I talking about? I'm talking rubbish already and I've only just started. Yesterday's recording for the Let Me Bore You To Sleep was number 134.

No 1034. Blimey. Can you believe it? 1034.

It's ridiculous. And I don't know if you noticed, a lot of people probably wouldn't notice, I made the picture using AI. And if you look a little bit closer, none of the faces look real.

They're just distorted. They're not real faces at all. It's all made up.

The legs are made, the whole thing. They're not real people. And I thought I was looking for a picture.

And I thought it's made me laugh because it was just so bad. It was like the worst picture possible of humans. And I just uploaded it because I thought it was funny.

And obviously I changed it, changed the picture, edited it and everything. But it's really, really bad. It's AI.

I mean, AI is some of the image creation is brilliant. But in order to use it, you need to kind of know what you're doing. And because I just want to make it an image for a podcast or for a video.

I'm not that into it, if you know what I mean. I'd rather just type in what I want and let something come up. Or I'll find something online, a nice relaxing background scenery, you know, forest, a river, things like that.

And sometimes what I'll do is I'll get lots of different images, and I'll put them all together to make like one image. So with the clearing your mind, the one I did today, Deep Sleep Whisperer number 508. There's a picture of a brain of human being with a brain.

It's a nice picture, actually, not like a proper brain brain. But inside is a cloud and a little plane flying through the cloud. Now that won't make sense until you actually listen to the recording.

But it's so I made that as various different images all put together. Okay, cool. So it's I don't like to spend too much time working on the images.

But sometimes I do. I spent like hours sometimes working on an image. Because, you know, I've got an idea in my head and how I want it to be.

And it takes ages and ages and ages. But I try not to do that too often. Because there's only so much time in the day, don't you now? Got a lot of I need to be doing I try and do at least three new recordings a day.

Now, I think the let me boys asleep need to be daily. I just do I think they are because of because how they are because it's just a random daily chat really isn't it just near near near you know, just just for an hour or so. But then because I've got so many different podcasts.

And we've got 123456781212123691215161718 for 18 different podcasts. And it's you know, it takes a fair bit of effort to try and produce regularly for each of those podcasts. Now, yesterday, I did the first relaxation for stress and panic attacks episode for over a year.

It literally was the last one I did was the 21st. No, the 12th. No, no, no, no, no, no, the 7th of May 2021.

So over a year ago. And that was number 230. Relaxation, hypnosis for stress, Superman re energizing.

The one before that was listen to my boring voice, relax and sleep. And number 228 was relaxed by spending time listening to me. Yeah, so there's those ones, but I did one yesterday, number 231, 10 to 1 technique.

So that was the first one in May, June, July, yeah, by me. One year, three and a half months or something. So, perhaps I'll try not to leave it too long before the next one, eh, eh, eh, eh?

And it's weird because even though I haven't got many, much in the way of downloads on that particular podcast, the last recording I did had, because I've not done anything since, has had over 2,000 downloads on that recording, and it was still getting, every day it's getting downloads, a few here and there, I mean like a small amount, which is weird considering for the entirety of the time I've had that podcast, I've only got 4,699 downloads.

So maybe, maybe, baby, perhaps it'll start to grow a bit. So I've had 115 downloads today for that podcast. So that's the best I've had in a long time.

But anyway, I don't know, you know me, I don't like to talk about the stats. No, of course not. The other podcast, my Relax and Sleep Hypnosis Daily, it's supposed to be daily, I mean the word daily is in the title, but then the Deep Sleep Whisper recordings are also for relaxing and sleeping.

Deep Sleep Hypnosis, you know, it's like, but I don't include them in that podcast. But today I've had 48 downloads. Two days ago I had 703 downloads.

So it's kind of weird the way it works out. Then I've just released one recording. So that'll be, I've had six downloads.

That'll probably grow tomorrow. But yeah, it's just the other ones like the Stop Smoking podcast gets quite a bit of traction when I make a new recording, but I haven't made a new one for quite a while on that one. 18th of October, 2022.

Really? Blimey, that's ages ago, isn't it? It doesn't seem that long ago that I did that recording. Literally, I don't know what I'm about to tell you this, it was last year. Yeah, we know what year it is.

It just doesn't feel like that. I mean, it's two more months and it's less than two months and it'll be a year since I did that recording. And again, I haven't had many downloads really from that podcast, the Stop Smoking Relaxation Hypnosis.

That's a podcast, 82,914 downloads. So not many downloads at all. But the very last recording I did is three and a half thousand downloads.

So if I was doing more regular ones, I'd be reaching a larger audience. And hopefully that would mean I'd be helping more people, which is kind of the point. It's the point, the point, the point, point, point.

What about my bedtime story time? Wow. I'm not even going to look at that, there's no point. It doesn't get a huge audience, that one.

Yeah, it's a specialist. It's a specialist podcast. And then you've got the Chronic Pain Relief podcast.

That's one that again gets traction when I do stuff on it. But small amounts, 61,000 altogether, like the whole of time. But then it's weird, today I've only had 503 downloads on my Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

Yesterday, 457. Yeah, a couple of days ago, just under 2,000. So, you know, it variates, it really do variate.

It variates my dear, it variates, it variates. Is that a word? Is that an actual word? And what's the other podcast that's doing alright? No, none of them are rubbish, they're what? They're not rubbish, not really, they're... So yeah, I've been... Just giving Vinnie a bone thing to eat, with a chew on. What happened, I was going to tell you.

Oh, here. What was I going to say? Something. Oh yeah, I was looking at my... I went to make a payment on my credit card a couple of days ago.

Because I got an email or text message saying that my credit card was over. Even though I haven't used it for a while. But the interest has put it over the limit.

So I phoned up to do the automatic payment and I was going to pay £50. And for some reason it just wouldn't... It wouldn't hear what I was saying to it. And then when I went to use the keyboard, the keyboard wasn't working.

I was pressing the numbers and there was no sound. I don't know what the heck was going on. And then I tried it three times and each time it did the same thing.

And then they... So I kept hanging up and started again. And then they put me through to someone. And I thought, oh, here we go, I'm going to have to wait for three days before the phone's answered.

Nope. Instantly answered. And so I went through the security and I said, look, I didn't really want to speak to a person.

I just wanted to just pay £50. And I said, I'm not being rude, I just... You know, there wasn't... I wasn't expecting a conversation. I'm not dressed.

I'm sitting here naked. And, you know, I've got half a sandwich in my mouth. I wasn't... I just wasn't expecting to be talking to a human.

And she said, you do realise I can't see you? It doesn't matter what you're wearing or not. You don't need to tell me that stuff. I can't see you.

And I thought, oh yeah. And then the phone just, like, went dead. Like, we must have been disconnected somehow.

So I called back again. And I asked to speak to the man again. And he apparently... he's now Jonathan.

He wasn't... apparently gone home. Suddenly became ill and went home early. So I spoke to someone else.

And... they told me something very disturbing. The £160 a month I'm paying on the credit card... is interest. Is... I don't think every penny is, but... about £140 plus is just the interest.

Wow. Wow. So it's £5,000.

Just under... £4,900 and something pound. Hundreds... interest. So every month I'm not even paying anything off.

And the interest is going up every month. So it's going to go up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up. What the heck? Now, I... I vaguely understand the concept of... Was not compressed interest, is it? Compressed... Compressed... Interest... Compounding interest, that's it, yeah.

I was just going to put it in, but I remembered. So I understand the idea of compounding interest. So, you know, something goes up now.

So instead of being £100 with the interest, it becomes... £200 eventually. But then you've got the interest, same percentage of interest, but... the same percentage of interest on £200 is... twice as much as it would be on £100. And then you've got the interest on the £200 and whatever, yeah, so... I'm not sure if my explanation of how I understand it... really worked.

Because I was a little bit confused about what I just said myself. So, compounded interest, it's... that £5,000, if left, and I just pay the minimum... will become impossible to pay the minimum... after a while, because the minimum will go up to... well, eventually thousands of pounds a month. I'll end up owing like £100 or something, you know? If it just kept going and going and going and going and going.

So, yeah, it's a bit of a weird situation. I just... was surprised. And you know what? You know how I ended up getting... into debt with the credit card? This is... I'm not saying this to... to show off at all, I'm really not.

But I helped a couple of people out. And... I used... I actually paid off the credit card last year. And at the beginning of this year, it was clear, so I had no... no credit or anything on it, it was just... left it as it was.

It was sealed, I even put it in a cupboard, or in a little drawer, thought I'm not going to use that, I'll have it as an emergency. And then someone knocked on my door. And... there was a bereavement, and that person needed financial help to get to where they needed to get to for their family.

And I said, I can't help, I ain't got nothing. I've got no money, can't... anything like that. And... Then I thought about it, and I thought, well, I'll just... I'll use a credit card.

So I went to the... to the machine, I drew it out. And... it was only like £150 or something, so there you go. Now I was short on money myself, I didn't have much money, so I thought, OK... I'll draw £250 out, which is the maximum I think you can draw out.

Give £150 to him, keep the other £200 for me, which would give me a bit of... no, the other £100. And means I can get a bit of extra food and stuff like that. And then bit by bit I was using it.

When I was running out of money, I started using it a bit, because it was now in my wallet again. So I was using it for little bits and bobs. And then... my friend's brother, my friend who... I wouldn't have a degree if it wasn't for her.

She helped me out so much. Her brother was homeless, had nowhere to stay. He stayed with my friend, and it didn't kind of work out there.

And he needed to get out. Like, really seriously needed to move away and find somewhere else to stay for... well, immediately, really. So I booked him a hotel for a week in the same town, but further up, away from here.

And that cost... I think it was about £800 or something. And I gave him another £200, £250 in cash to help him to... It might not have been that much. It came to about £1,000 altogether.

And I gave him that bit of cash to help him to... just to get by, until hopefully he found his own feet, got on his feet again. And when I booked the hotel, it was just like a holiday inn thing. And he had breakfast every day for... I think it was six days.

It wasn't even a whole week, I don't think. I think it was six days, but that was the maximum I could do that I could book. They wouldn't allow any more than six days because it was busy... for some reason... after that.

So suddenly I was... I mean, that's not five grand, but you see bits and bobs, and then someone else... and then someone else had a bereavement, and I tried to help them with that. And... lending money to people, bit by bit... gone. Gone down.

And I spent it as well. I bought food on the credit card, and... ordered food online, ordered food on Amazon, which costs more. It's not a good idea to do that.

But it's still, you know, still got to wait. So I haven't actually physically got anything to show for that, that credit card money. I'm, you know, happy to have helped a couple of people along the way, and I hope, you know, maybe one day that someone will do the same for me if I need it.

That's not the reason I do it, but... it's... I actually did see him a couple of weeks ago, and he said... that, you know, he owed me money, and I said, well, don't worry, I'll wait until you're back on your feet. Because I didn't lend it to him, I didn't even tell him I was going to do it, I just booked it online, and told him, you need to go now.

Booked a taxi, gave him the money, and got him gone from the situation, because it was not a good situation he was in.

So... it was the best, it was like the only thing I could think to do. And it did the trick. Hopefully it helped him, and he seems in a better space now, but it was going nowhere nice, to be the situation.

But it's really strange, like, I didn't think about the interest, I didn't think about it, I didn't like, oh, oh yeah, there's always interest on a credit card, apart from maybe the first month, the first year or whatever, and then the interest, because you get interest freeze sometimes. I've applied for another credit card, thinking, well, if I pay that one off with that one, and have a year of free interest, but I wasn't accepted, so I didn't get it.

So even though, I haven't got into debt, well, I'm in debt, but I've always paid everything for quite a long time, it's... I'm not perhaps a candidate for a new credit card, which, you know, makes sense really, really.

So yeah, so I've just got to figure a way out of this. But I just thought I'd mention it, because it's, I think it's quite interesting, quite an interesting thing that me paying that much, I thought, in my mind, my little ignorant mind, clearly when it comes to finances, I thought I was paying off, so I'll pay £160, that's £160 off of the £5,000. No, it's maybe £15 off of the £5,000.

It's like, what? Really? Really? Blimey! So yeah, I'm going to... It's funny, it's not funny, but it's kind of funny at the same time, because it's not like I'm a kid, you know, I should be aware of this stuff, but hey, we live and we learn, well, we live, sometimes I learn, sometimes I forget, on this occasion I think I forgot, and this part of me thinking, well, if I'm able to pay it off, just cut the card up, but then that credit card potentially really saved someone from a terrible situation.

You know? I mean, so it was worth it. It was worth getting into debt for that, really.

I mean, that itself was worth £100,000 to me, personally, for that person, safety. So, yeah, it's a weird one. Anyway, I don't normally talk about serious things on these recordings.

No, normally. So, what was I going to do? I'll tell you what. Can I get Twitter on here? Is Twitter allowed? I can get it on my laptop, but I don't know if I can get it on the iPad.

Twitter, sign up, sign in, sign in with Apple. Am I with Apple? Sign in. Does it allow me to do that? Continue.

Yeah, it should do. No, it's not. Damn.

Oh well. Well, I'm signed in with the other thing. It don't matter.

It no matter. I can't go into Facebook either. Mind you, there is this thing on my iPad.

It looks like a really interesting website. It's got all these podcasts that are super. Really, really brilliant podcasts.

Wow, what's this? Thousands of free hypnosis and boring podcasts. jasonnewland.com. What a good website.

Oh dear. Okay. I'll stop.

I've stopped. I have stopped. Have I had any? I've had a few messages on YouTube.

I might let you read them. I'll read them to you. A couple of messages.

Oh yeah. I had a message from your favourite uncle Hubert. A.K.A. The Bastion.

To a video I did. It was a live broadcast on YouTube. Which was a Let Me Bore You To Sleep one.

It was a few days ago. He's posted very, as in capital letters, Dishevelled. Bit rude.

Quillen TS commented Adorable. Thank you. I'm not sure if that was for me or for Vinnie the little doggy.

And Quillen TS commented I'm 52 in September. Well, happy birthday. I'm 53 in 5 days.

5 days! So what day is that then? Monday Tuesday Wednesday 23rd Thursday 24th Friday 25th Saturday Monday 21st Tuesday Saturday 26th Blimey. I couldn't keep that one up. I'm sorry.

So I did that one and then Ken Gibson commented it was so surreal talking to Jason but very lovely I must say. So Ken was pretty much the only person. There was one other person on there but was it Shaved Man or something like that.

I forget. But he funny head or something. So I did that one and then the next day I actually shaved my head and my beard off.

So everything's gone. It's starting to grow back but you know. So I'm kind of clean cleanish shaven in that particular video.

And Quillen TS commented Oh you shaved clean birthday boy. Yep very clean. I was that day not so much now.

And then I got Soggy Cat Food Real name do you think? Cruel if it is. And the Muffled Whispers were great. Keep it up man.

That was for my 10 hour Deep Echo ASMR Deep Sleep Whisper So the thing is that the muffled sound was an accident. I didn't mean to do it. So I'm not quite sure how to yeah I didn't mean it.

I mean so far now I've got quite a few 10 hour ones uploaded. Another possibly 3 or 4 a day videos to YouTube. 10 hour ones.

So it's gradually gradually growing as far as that goes. And they seem fairly I don't want to use the word popular but some people seem to like the 10 hour ones. Which is good.

It makes me very happy. Very happy indeed. Never been so happy.

Almost ecstatic. Very ecstatic. Quite pleased.

Yes. Yes. So I what was I going to say? How many I've got quite a few recordings actually.

Quite a few videos on YouTube now. I've overtaken myself. Every damn recording every new recording I try and convert into a video and upload it.

Now the problem with that is they do get lost. There's a pretty well there might be I don't know. There might be some good recordings.

Some good videos on YouTube. I don't know. But some of them will be completely lost.

Because they're lost. There's so many. Because there's 619 videos now on YouTube.

On my YouTube channel. 619. Now not all of them are available.

So I've got if I go filtered by visibility private and draft there are 27 videos that are not available at the moment. They're not they're not available to watch. So 27.

So it's still 580 or 590 are available to watch. So 6, 7, 8, 9 by the end of the year now depending it does depend because it's costing me like £84 a month to use the video software and another £50 odd pound for the other video audio software to produce these videos. I use both.

I use one for the 10 hour ones and one for the short normal length ones. And it's yeah the £84 £84 runs out in September. The story blocks.

I mean I'll probably yeah I mean I kind of will miss using it because I do like using them because I can make some really nice looking videos with graphics, animation scenic backgrounds you know like waterfalls, rivers clouds sunrise or animated like circles and spirals and things like that which fit together quite well with my videos I think. But I don't know it's a little bit I mean a podcast is €120 a month for me to run.

And there's just these little bits and bobs that cost cost money the expense of it you know sort of like I use Canva so that's about £11 a month and so it's probably like a couple of hundred without any of the extra stuff it's a good £200 plus a month very very basic very basic more than £200 yeah about £250 nearly £300 as you think about that nearly £300 a month with the website yes over £300 a month to run the podcast and the website and everything like that so that's

that's the very basic that's if I don't use other things like SEO programs and software and promote you know pay to promote the podcast and stuff so it's it's still a fair bit every month so that's good £27 then so how many did I say?

£619 so I reckon if I'm able to keep the the videos coming maybe I'll just do 10 hour ones maybe that's all I'll do for you know once the other thing runs out, the story blocks and just do 10 hour videos then 3 30, 60, 90 September, October, November, December so it's going to be a thousand videos by the end of this year on YouTube and I've got I keep moving between 1029 subscribers and 1030 it keeps going up and down like every day for the last couple of days,

it's almost like someone's a bit indecisive they like me, then they don't then they do, then they don't it's almost like they've got a little buttercup and they keep turning it over like I like him, I don't like him, I'm going to subscribe I'm going to unsubscribe, I'm going to subscribe I'm going to unsubscribe it's kind of a bit like that but probably nothing like that probably probably nothing like that at all so he's now he's looking for his food so that's good because yeah,

I gave him some food this morning mate and I thought how can I get him to eat it because he's really not been eating the way I'd like him to I don't mean like with his mouth you know he's not been sitting at the table with a knife and fork like a proper person I don't mean that I mean, he seems to be off it, he likes it, then he doesn't like it and you know so I thought,

I'll mix it up a little bit I'll give him half a packet at a time because he's only little and the packets are really for bigger dogs, it's wet food but it's got vegetables in and everything and I put the other one in the fridge, the other half in the fridge but it's cold and I think it's a little bit too cold for him so I thought I'll boil the kettle and I'll pour a little bit of hot water, just a little bit over it and just make it perhaps a little bit of gravy,

a little bit more less cold, a little bit more pleasing I put it down and he looked at me like I just like I don't know he just, he came in, you know when something gives me a weird look it looked like I just farted out another version of myself who then bent over and farted it was that kind of strange scenario he was like what is this I'm not going to eat this am I it looks like I don't want to say the word but it rhymes with diarrhoea ok that is the word,

that's not a good example biarrhoea, shiarrhoea it rhymes with hiarrhoea how's your ear anyway that's what he said that night and I thought that was a bit rude because ok admittedly I didn't spend a lot of time cooking can't use that as an excuse I've been slaving away in the kitchen for 5 hours he was in there for 32 seconds dad and yeah so it's not difficult but he wouldn't touch it so in the end I just chucked it out so when I've done this recording I'm going to open a

new packet for him and I'll give it to him in a bowl and if he is hungry then that's a good thing because he'll eat it and I'm trying to reduce the treats that I give him just simply because I want him to eat his dinner I want him to eat it really it was so funny yesterday when I did that podcast and he was making some noise and I said can you make a bit more noise and he did he made even more noise and it just made me laugh

he's looking for something he's he's seen something he wants to get but I don't know what it is really something's got his attention get off the table Vinnie so I had to he was banging the microphone because the microphone is attached to the table and he was jumping onto the table so I had to clap my hands to get him down obviously you won't hear that bit because it's very loud what do you want what do you want I think he's hungry but I'm hungry we're all hungry Vinnie everyone's hungry I'm hungry,

you're hungry ok we're hungry, maybe not everyone's hungry but we could do with a bit of food couldn't we you could do with some food I could do with some food but I'm kind of busy right now but I'm busy Vinnie can you see I'm talking I gave you that bone so you could have something to distract you with but you didn't make it last very long did you eh what have you got to say for yourself make a weird weird noise oh he's gone what was I going to I

was talking about something before he came up I can't remember I think I was talking about him wasn't I about feeding him so the oh yeah 1029 subscribers now it has grown over time but very very very very slowly I mean like proper proper slowly really really slowly over let's say the last lifetime over the lifetime ok let's say over the last year so according to this the lifetime I've had 115,652 views 25.6 thousand hours watched and just over thousands of subscribers so if I change that to the last just

the last 365 days now I don't know how if this takes into account all the videos that I took off it might do it might not I don't know because I took hundreds of videos off and then put them back on again will you stop and so this last year 41.1 thousand views 4.5 thousand watch hours 391 subscribers plus but I had to I had one day that was really good a really big subscriber day and it was it was the 11th of November last year I had 16 new subscribers

16 blimey oh 26 new subscribers on the 13th of November 2022 blimey I wonder why there were so many new subscribers since then it's just been one or two three two three four and the biggest one really this year has been 13 new subscribers on the 28th of June oh wow that's quite a few new ones isn't it and then and now it's just every now and then it's yeah I tell you what's strange maybe it's not strange but what I've noticed is my top video is still my top video

even no matter what I put on whatever new recordings videos I put on there the try and stay awake hypnosis challenge is still the number one video and it's got the highest view duration of any video because you know the people who watch it not everybody but like 50% of people that click on it nearly or maybe 42% actually watch the whole thing so I get a lot of people I guess coming back to that video but even so it's only got 69 views in the last 28 days which is

tiny isn't it but lifetime the lifetime oh it hasn't got lifetime here since uploaded ok it has yeah 8.4 thousand 1.9 thousand hours 48 subscribers come from that blimey on the 19th of October I had 24 new subscribers just from that video how weird average view duration 13 minutes 51 average percentage viewed 52.5% I've got no idea what all that means I don't know what could it mean what oh no that's wrong I've got that wrong got that completely wrong blimey when I said subscribers 24 it wasn't it was views

it wasn't subscribers it was 24 views subscribers I've had 48 in the last year see yeah no since it was uploaded updated uploaded rather I've had 48 subscribers through that video and 8.4 thousand ok yeah so that's what it was 24 views watch time 4.4 hours it's actually minute isn't it really when you think about it but compared to the rest of the YouTube channel that I've got it's huge because without sounding I don't want to sound negative but it's it's not a very successful YouTube channel in all fairness but

it's kind of in it's infancy in the same in a sense of I spent very little time or energy on it for a long time until recently so and I've just been uploading past recordings making videos and now I'm kind of I'm not up to date yet because there's still loads of videos to make loads of recordings to convert into videos hundreds and hundreds in fact but I'm now uploading and making videos out of the new recordings that I make so you know it's going ok it's just a matter of it's just a matter of time I think maybe once I've uploaded all the backdated stuff because I'm not I'm not just uploading it all like 20,

30 a day or anything like that it's because I'm having to make the videos so I'm uploading maybe 4, 5, 6 a day and I might release one or two so I'm always ahead and yeah so I think I hope at least by the end of the year it should hopefully people start to watch the videos on YouTube as well as what is listed on the podcast could even make more noise just waiting for it to make more noise now so yeah I think and also I think by the end

of the year if I do get rid of the the Storyblocks video making and get rid of the other stuff you know video and audio software that I pay monthly for I'm in a contract until January for that one the Adobe suite it is good and I'm starting to get my head around how to use parts of it and I use it every day now if I do get rid of that I will then need to start making if I continue with YouTube that is making live videos of myself not

live but of me talking and then converting that did you hear that door slam that is what we get around here constant door slamming I always thought closing doors was easy apparently it is very complicated very complicated to close a door all quietly very hard work it is amazing we had these old doors when I moved in old council doors and you hoped they didn't close behind you because if you didn't have your key you are locked out now you can't get locked out with these new doors I say new

they have been there for about 3 years maybe longer 4 years maybe but they are solid so they can't lock behind you because you have to lock them when you leave but if you don't if you don't touch it, if you just walk out the door will slam shut and that is all part of the, it is a fire door isn't it I guess so they are supposed to do that but blimey proper slams and it echoes I think it is because of the hallway it echoes when the flat below me does it,

it shakes the flat and the weird thing about it is upstairs they have still got the old council doors so their doors don't slam and they don't slam their doors I don't slam my door occasionally it does slam but it is rare but I try to make sure I close it quietly all the other doors get slammed they just let them slam it is I don't know it is like a different culture down there a different world a completely different world I think what it is because I have lived in

so many different shared houses over the years like many many many many many different places where I just had a room in a house and maybe there was a couple of other people living there maybe four other people maybe six other people depending on the size of course so being considerate was something that I needed to learn and I don't think I was considerate to start with but I did learn it over time and a lot of it wasn't because other people complained to me sometimes people did complain to me

I was being too noisy in the early days but not that much but I noticed how noisy other people were being so by studying other people in consideration taught me to be more considerate and I know that when people are inconsiderate they're just not thinking about it it's not that they're doing it out of indictiveness it's just they're unaware they're not noticing that the door's slamming they don't even hear it probably and I do hear it and it's weird that I got such sensitive hearing considering I was partly deaf for

the first 7 years of my life I don't know how many years I had that for to the age of 8 and yet my hearing is very sensitive yet the weird thing about it is the little one down there I won't say his name because he might think that something nice is going to happen to him like oh he said my name what we do now we're doing nothing well I will get him some food in a second he's getting more used to the banging of doors downstairs because until recently

he would bark every single time a door banged or the gate went outside every single time and now unless someone actually knocks on the door he will bark every time someone knocks on the door I don't think that's ever going to change but he doesn't seem too bothered about the downstairs noises anymore ever since his friend disappeared his friend the dog disappeared about a week ago ran out for a walk ran off and didn't come back so no idea what's happened there but he seems to have stopped pining now which

is good because he was acting very strange he was sitting at the front door on his own for hours sometimes in the hallway or sitting behind the exercise bike in my bedroom we call it the dust collector but yeah and he'd be just sitting behind that or sleeping behind that wouldn't be on the bed, wouldn't be next to me wouldn't be lying on my legs like he normally does he wouldn't be sitting at my feet when I was at the computer at the desk which he pretty much always does if

he's not on the bed there's three places he is either he's on my bed or our bed in the bedroom he's in his bed which is next to the my chair, well it's on the chair it's a settee but I sit on one chair and he sits on the other or he's laying on my legs when I'm sitting on the chair there's another one there's two more or he's sitting at my feet at the other desk or he's sitting at my feet when I'm at this desk or he's just on the floor doing something like chewing a bone or just playing around but he's generally,

he's in the room with me he's with me most of the time unless he's asleep in the bed so for him to there's about seven eight different options there wasn't there started off with two things and now it became a hundred he's either there or there, or there, or there, or there he's somewhere, he's always somewhere but for him to sit at the front door is not normal because he just doesn't do that for him to lie in the lie down in the hallway he's never done that before I think he did it a couple of times when it was hot,

when it's really hot weather in June so he was trying to cool himself down a bit but other than that he hasn't done that and to be hiding behind the exercise bike in the bedroom I say hiding but it did seem like he was hiding because he was looking at me like crouching down otherwise like he'd gone to the toilet on the carpet and he was hiding but he hadn't gone to the toilet on the carpet and if he did I wouldn't care because I know that he's a good boy and he always lets me know when he needs to go out,

if he has an accident he has an accident, I really couldn't care I'm not going to clean it up so it's just going to stay there, he'll have to clean it up he's it will stay there forever I have a rule, anything that falls on the floor stays on the floor I do not pick things up no I would, I would on that occasion I would make an exception and I would pick it up and of course chuck it out the window but after putting it into a bag first because

you know I'm a good neighbour he's now back to being himself again so he's with me he's at my feet or he's on the bed or he's next to me he's pretty much with me the whole time now and he's been, he seems to have just accepted or whatever maybe he's just got a really short memory and he's forgotten his friend I don't think so he loved, he loved that dog like I want him to say his name because he knows he recognises the name but he stopped pining as far as I know,

I mean he might still be emotionally upset but I'm not seeing it the way I was it was very evident and it was almost like I'd done something to him which of course I hadn't but then someone said to me, baby he's ill because he wasn't eating and all that stuff I said yeah but if he was ill when we went out to the park he wouldn't be running around all excited with the other dogs you know he's physically fine,

emotionally he wasn't so well but he was running around and having the time of his life when he was out there having treats and everything because he was he was distracted he's got about he's got two really good friends that he plays with outside there's a few but there's two of his favourites and that's when I knew like oh I just hope he kind of gets back to normal and now he is back to being his normal annoying self hassling me and giving me just really trying to wind me up constantly and he still does the thing goes to sleep at my feet,

I wake up he's basically where my face is not on me he's not sitting on my face but he's lying right close to my upper body but he waits until I'm asleep before he does it sometimes he doesn't but most of the time he seems to and once he's relaxed I can put my hand on him and cuddle him but if he's just laid down if I touch him he runs off, you're not my real dad I'm just like he'll go to the bottom of the bed I say run,

it's not a long not a big distance I don't have a huge bed but he's only got little legs so it's a few footsteps for him but he just if he's relaxed and he's asleep I can just put my hand on his back and maybe give him a kiss and stuff on his head yeah it's quite nice he's really making a he's upping the ante with the noise now when I make the other recordings I have to put him into the bedroom so what I do is I wait until he's gone in the bedroom on his own and he's asleep and then I crawl,

I don't crawl on all fours but I go very slowly to close the bedroom door he always looks up at me he never stays asleep whenever I do that bless him right so that I do believe is probably enough for now I've gone over an hour so I'm going to decide to eat Vinnie's going to have something to eat I might have beans on toast not very exciting but I think it will do the job so please remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy be gentle with yourself maybe do something nice something that you enjoy doing I don't know,

watching a movie or Netflix or wherever you stream your stuff or go to an actual theatre maybe listen to an album that you haven't listened to for a long time have a little dance whatever it is you like that you enjoy doing just do something nice if you want to of course so I'm not giving homework out I don't want to do that you don't have to you don't have to so I'm going to go and I shall speak to you again tomorrow lots of love bye