#1029 Obviously - Let me bore you to sleep

Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. That sounded more like a ghost didn't it really didn't it? Like I was trying to spook you or something. That wasn't very sleepy was it? Imagine waking up and I was like go to sleep and now I'm not sounding like a vampire.

Go to sleep look into my eyes go to sleep your your blood oh I won't stop I'll stop I'll stop and welcome to let me let people lead you to sleep. My name is Jason Newland you'll remember nothing.

Jason Newland that's my name Jason Newland hello hello and please only listen when you can safely close your eyes and you will close your eyes and you'll remember nothing stop stop so yeah hello everyone hello you know what last night last night I produced one of the best ever Let Me Bore You To Sleep podcast episodes the best ever and the recorder stopped recording because the card the memory card was full it was full how about a warning when I go to start recording you need to empty the card might

do I guess I don't know how long I'm gonna be recording for but yeah so I had two and a half minutes I think three minutes of recording and the rest the other 57 minutes gone wasted completely pointless although some people might think well that's just the standard recording that you do isn't it even if you had recorded it it's still pointless and a waste of time fair enough fair enough but you know calm down calm you know just it might not be it is though stop stop so yeah I

just got out of bed I was in a different a different kind of mood when I get out of bed just a little bit more I don't know a different mindset in some ways clearer depending you know depending upon whether or not I'm tired now my body feels fairly tired but my mind is slightly alert so I got my eyes closed I don't feel as though I'm going to fall asleep mind you if I wasn't talking I might fall asleep there's a chance and as luck happens because I've literally just

got out of bed I can tell you about a dream I had and it was quite a nice but the ending was really nice although a bit strange but it's yeah actually I can't really tell you about it because it's it's a little bit personal but not about me but about my dad and I gotta be a bit more sensitive about like I can't be telling about other people I could talk about myself but I can't really talk about other people because even though I don't say anything bad I just

it might come across as if I'm being disrespectful or something of course I am but still never mind hey worse things happen at sea where did that expression come from you know the amount of people that I've met especially in my in my 20s people that would just regurgitate the same old phrases over and over again another thing I've noticed and this is more because of in interviews or I listen to talk radio or LBC I've been listening to LBC since probably 19 years old and it's maybe 20 21 you

know a long time not constantly the whole time I listen to it more now I probably listen to it less now than I used to listen to it but I listen to it you know since I've lived here I've listened to it more but I used to listen to it how many times can you say the words listened to it I used to enjoy the the auditory experience of that particular radio show whilst walking to work so I'd listen to it for about half an hour on the way to work

very different to how it is now I think but then it's a long you know it's quite a long time ago it's about 100 years or so so different presenters different everything I mean I wasn't even born back then that's how long ago I was but I thought you said you was walking to work yeah I was well technically it was my dad that was walking to work I was more kind of wobbling around because I was not yet born I was wobbling around with about 10 trillion of my brothers

and sisters yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck so I it's I had that dream I don't know what other dreams did I have I'm going to have a drink of water in a minute within a minute I can't remember now maybe it will come to me so what I've noticed is And I don't know if it's nervousness of speaking on the radio and knowing that people from I guess nowadays potentially all over the world could be listening because a lot of radio shows are now online or available online so unlike you

know 30 years ago a radio show if you wanted to listen to a radio show from America if you was in the UK of England you'd need a satellite dish in your garden but now or you go and go to America I guess that is another option I suppose you know or if you know somebody in America you could phone them and they could listen to the radio turn it up and play it down the phone but back then that would have been a very expensive way to listen to a

radio show I don't think there was any other way to do it no I don't think so no she had a satellite phone I'm not sure satellite phones would around then they might have been because that's more military isn't it I think so military can use these old backpack you know precursor mobile films so I I've noticed that some people I'm going to say some people probably everybody but I guess we've all got our own thing I know I say way too much sometimes and also I go now I think

that's more of a speech impediment like just my mouth makes that sound without my cooperation now I purposely did that now I'll be honest you don't always hear them because I do try and edit them out if they're too loud now by that I don't mean that I'm constantly hello you're right then so welcome to jasonnewland.com it's not that bad but occasionally they spike a bit so I kind of spike as in reach the red part of the volume so I kind of get rid of it oh by the way

my website jasonnewland.com go check it out it's groovy it's groovy man really really amazing I mean like really phenomenal check it out you'll be so pleased you did hmm it's it's alright it's okay basically basically the website is what is it it's got the up all my latest recordings on there that you can listen to and there is a contact page so you can send me a message and I did receive a message yesterday and I have received it so thank you for that message I'm just sort of pondering it

if that makes sense so I got a message sent to me from my website yesterday morning at 3.30 I received it from somebody that lives in is it Tampa Oh Tampa Tampa or Tampa in Florida I think and hello to the person who lives in Auckland or persons that live in Auckland because I had a spike yesterday a spike of using that word a lot and I spike I had a fair bit of downloads from Auckland in Australia so hello whoever if anyone lives in Auckland that listens to this I

mean yeah I'm guessing it's not just one person because there's no way one person could actually listen to that much content but also I don't yeah I don't know those were the two places that were really quite active yesterday Florida and Auckland other places was as well but just those two like really stood out for some reason okay so so so so so so so that's something that people used to say a few years back they don't do it so much now is like the general public I mean so what

they would do is if you ask someone a question they would say so I woke up and the horses in the bed I don't really recollect anything last thing I think I remember something about a vampire but other than that I remember nothing I remember nothing woke up a couple of collar marks on my neck feel a bit drained to be honest with you don't know where the horse came from and but they the point that is they said so at the beginning now I was a bit of a long

twisted way of saying it but so so how you doing you are do you fancy going for lunch so no no no no it's not like I don't need a big big sentence yes or no so no so just yes or an even more condescending no so okay then no say it without the so so I can't I can't I have to say so before I start talking it's just inbuilt it's an inbuilt mechanism gives me time to think about what I'm gonna say okay okay other people say things like

you know I mean you know I mean you know I mean now the first person I ever heard say that was Frank Bruno the boxer and I wanted to be Frank Bruno and I went I went for a period of saying you know what I mean in fact I think I went for a period when I said arcs instead of ask I really wanted to be I wanted to be black to be honest I did I did when I was in my early 20s that's what I wanted it's genuinely that's

the truth I did and I think I started talking using some of the lingo from like you know East London and that when I moved to East London and yeah I did that's what I wanted but I wasn't and you can't you know just there's something about accepting who you are the problem is doing that with doing that is you gotta find out what you are we all who you are before you can accept it I've never really been sure what exactly am I am I a caricature of myself do

I even exist I mean yesterday I went online I did a personality test okay I want to find out more about myself I don't want to categorize myself which is it's something that can happen doing stuff like that I did an Asperger's test years ago and I came up very high if I did about 30 of them over the years and I was kind of very high on that and you know the standard psychopath test all that stuff but I thought you know I'll do the I'll do the personally is

it the Myra Briggs there you are I did the personality test I can't even say the word personality test online I failed I only bloody failed so I don't have a personality brilliant great only failure they've ever had in 17 years of doing those tests online I mean what another thing I had noticed when people say when on the radio and or in interviews on television or just it could be a guest on a panel or news show or it could be a general public person being interviewed whatever and the

sentence is there some reason some reason the people that use this sentence can't stop using it but they use it out of context and the sentence is or it's not even a sentence it's just one word preceding so many sentences they just chuck that word in and it's almost a dismissing word or it's expecting that the person you're talking to has as much knowledge about you and your life and the world and the subject that's being discussed knows just as much as you do I say you do I'm talking about

you do a doo-doo that's what about me so if I'm talking to you and the world the word is obviously obviously it's obviously it was obvious wasn't it really it was gonna be obviously obviously people that use that word they can't seem to stop using it it's almost like I don't know I was gonna say herpes this is it's just maybe that's not the right the right analogy mind you they're both difficult words to spell both good words to have on scrabble unless of course you're on a first date then

you know probably the last word you want to be bringing up if you're hoping to develop any kind of a loving relationship and possibly romance and possibly is you're gonna be pulling up the word on scrabble you know just to look at the person's face you know that I shouldn't use that word I don't say again and you wonder why they don't phone you back or answer your calls the next day and you know that they're with their friends talking about you I can't believe he used that word but yeah

that's a voice about for a man or woman by the way or anything in between it's just the voice doesn't mean that I'm on the focus in it on women I'm not could be anyone could be an could be a bumblebee I said took me ages to think of an animal could be a bee could be a lettuce it could be I don't know why I'm trying to think of object objects but this is my new kind of I'm trying to get into woke trying to be trying to be woke

remember this it was the day or the evening that the comedy club my friend's club closed down for good and he had to move out of the building and he basically they put his rent up so much hundreds of thousands a year just for the rent to get him out basically which worked so he had to get out it spent millions on rent over 25 years I mean you think about it if we would have paid enough rent to bought that building many times over especially when the building was probably

only worth when he first moved in couldn't been worth more than a couple of hundred grand when he moved out it's probably worth about 10 million 5 million 10 million I don't know so anyway we visit this pie I'm a little bit sad about it not the party but I love that club I love that comedy club so I don't know how I got talking to a couple of comedians because the place is full of comedians and a bloke with a hat on he was wearing a hat I remember that

I don't know why I remember the hat but I said oh oh you you're a comedian he said yeah okay I said what kind of stuff do you do what kind of he said oh I'm I'm a woke comedian this is this was about 2015 maybe earlier I said a woke comedian he said yeah I said oh cool no idea what he was talking about I came home and I looked it up on the internet the internet didn't seem to really know either I don't remember the blokes name and I've

searched for him but can't find him and it is easy to find someone if you know their name but I put in a woke comedians and he stand-up comedians and he hasn't come up maybe he was being sarcastic maybe he was having a joke a private joke with his peers not peers as in Piers Morgan but peers peers P-E-E-E-R-R-S-E maybe maybe he was actually a very controversial comedian and he was the opposite to woke which is why he said that he was woke because he wanted to get a laugh out

of his comedy compatriots perhaps I don't know I'm not sure I'm not sure but obviously there wasn't enough money in the bank how would that be obvious to anybody obviously I own a Ford car it's not obvious there's no obviousness about that obviously people say obviously obviously it's literally every three words and you can count obviously if you if you wanted to but sometimes I do count how many times somebody says a certain word and obviously is one of those words that is extremely overused such you know like robust I

never even heard the word robust until recently and everything happens for a reason do you remember that right it was almost compulsory to say that at least once a day to somebody else everything happens for a reason what does that mean it means everything happens for a reason yeah but what does it actually mean I don't understand but you're saying the sentence obviously yeah stop he's saying this sentence why are you saying the sentence so no no no no no no no don't don't say so well well well there's another

one isn't it well hmm stop picking on me I'm not I'm just you know everything happens for a reason I know but I don't think this is this is you being very kind okay I'll stop everything happens for it it was so overused the new normal that's another one it's the new normal unprecedented unprecedented and now another one especially when it comes to the weather since records began it's the most rain we've had between three and four o'clock on a Thursday afternoon since records began it records didn't begin very long

ago I know you know from a human life perspective 140 years could be a long time you know that's that's a long time it can be a long time waiting in a bank queue but in the cycle of humanity 140 years is not a long time at all so I'd like to see when they say since records began I want to change that from well let's change it to since weather began since weather what no since weather began weather what no the word weather I know what the word is I

just heard it so you know what I mean then what I'm saying since weather began well obviously you what you mean I can't say oh the thing about the obviously is people say it when it's not obvious there's not that many not many really situations that you can use the word obvious and it be a correct assumption you know it one for example would be it would obviously take many days to climb up Mount Everest as obvious that's a truthful thing as obvious to everyone except Giants but not everything is

obvious for example well obviously I had to go home and get my coat obviously I lost my keys and no neither of those things are obvious a lot of information missed out but then I've seen that in the past as well that's another thing that I don't see so much of now I see a little bit of it where I've been talking to somebody and an example is when I was working I talk to let's say I'd be in a shop and the retail assistant I was asking them something arcs

in them and they'd say and they'd be like not conflict but well we can't do anything now I said well can I speak to the manager the manager obviously the manager plods along and just a manager doesn't mean he plots does it why is that obvious so the manager stop it the manager was very friendly and just said okay but in those situations where I've had a conversation with let's say a member of staff and then the manager comes along and they tell the manager something very different to the conversation

we'd had by missing out emitting certain aspects of the conversation and it's very obvious I use obvious in the correct term then very obvious at the time like well you just missed out a big chunk of the of the conversation that would make sense that would make what you just said set instead of making me sound like I've just woken up in a bowl of big bowl of soup and just walked in here dripping soup everywhere why that would happen I don't know but I'm trying to think of a good

example okay so walking into a coffee shop having just been just had an accident and needed to get to the toilet and maybe just been in an accident I injured myself and need to clean up and you know something's something's happened and it's quite extreme and you know it's you know that's not a nice things happened or ever so I walk into a coffee place and I say and use your toilet please and I point to the toilet said staff only customers are not allowed into the toilets not for public

consumption so I explain to the person you know I've just been run over by a car and you know I need to change my underwear to be honest you know it's embarrassing sorry to tell you this but you know just I need to I'm waiting for an ambulance and I just need to try and tidy myself up a little bit because I'm embarrassed about the situation and the barista or whatever they're called says pointing towards a toilet no members of the public allowed staff only and then me trying to explain

and say look this is a very unusual situation I'm not it's not something I would normally do I'm not just asking to use the toilet because I can't be bothered to go next door to the public toilets and he said yeah why don't you do that I said it's because well they're being cleaned I can't get in there they're locked that was a quick save wasn't it and I didn't know I was gonna mention that but you mentioned so much I know obviously so I I said come on please I

need to use your toilet I'd you know the ambulance is coming and my Nana always said make sure you wear clean underwear in case you get hit by a bus and now I understand what she meant and he said no you can't use a toilet because it's it's for staff only and I'm saying okay can I speak to your manager please okay he calls the manager over the manager goes up and says to the barista you all right what's up what's up now the barista talks to the manager I don't

get to talk to the manager first the person that works there does and you hear him say to the manager that block over there he wants to use a toilet and I told him we can't because it's for staff only I'd said use a toilet outside you know that the public toilet but he's just been going on and on and on a bit aggressive and that's all this that's all he says to him misses out a big chunk of information that makes what I was saying valid I've seen that so

many times I've also I've had it from a customer's perspective where the customer is demanded to argue with me let's say trying to get into a club not arguing but like really trying to confuse things and then they say I'll speak to your manager manager comes over asks them what's up and they say something completely different to what's just happened perhaps their perspective of what's just happened I think as I've got older I've realized that people's perspectives can really be different from each other in a way that is almost phenomenal

mobile you know we don't see the world the same we might see exactly the same thing but not interpret it in the same way and that I'll be honest that it confuses me it does human beings confuse me not all but I just I don't know maybe that's part of reason that I do these recordings because it's easier it's not interaction I get to just talk at you I talk about me my favorite subject it's all ego driven and is it true is that true I don't know sometimes I really

don't want to talk about myself at all never lasts more than about 30 seconds but it still happens it still happens obviously trying to think of some other words that have been overused not fit for purpose that was a phase a phrase that was used a phase of using that phrase not fit for purpose so overuse is almost as if all the politicians had got together and trained how to use that that sentence that that you know those bunches of words and when when they can use it what kind of

scenarios they can sprout that's not fit for purpose not fit for purpose I've heard it so many times not so much now because we've got robust and I think the politicians and they've got a lot a lot to deal with and they have their briefing once a week telling them what new words they need to be using and also what other maybe phrases and sentences and today you know gather them all around up to on a Monday maybe on online or maybe in a big room gymnasium or something so this

week we're going to start a new trend and we're gonna it's just gonna be a trial to see whether or not the public will accept us saying it all the time but it's worth a try and so everyone has to do it have to say at least maybe three four five times in every interview okay everyone everyone and everyone awake okay good good good now this week's word or it's not a word it's gonna be a sentence to be clear or let me be clear after me one two three let

me be clear or you can be a bit more forceful let me be absolutely clear let me be absolutely clear I mean to be honest it's however you want to dress it up as long as you have the word clear and you're clear with presenting it that's quite clever wasn't it well play on words there so let me be clear it does seem that politicians are doing that this I do watch the question time but not as much as I used to but I think it's because a lot of the

it's quite repetitive it's quite repetitive it's quite repetitive it is quite repetitive and yeah I'm not sure I'm not sure I do it new I think I just fell asleep then I have to when I edit I'm gonna have a little look see if there's any long pauses not not like a long bit where there's no sound coming out I'll leave it in if I'm not snoring but if you if I'm like which can happen then I will delete it if I feel like it trying to think what else there's

a Anthony Joshua boxing this weekend against Dillian White and they fought each other in 2015 I think the year I moved in here and so Dillian White beat Joshua in the amateurs and then Joshua beat Dillian White in their first professional fight together this was going to be their second professional fight but the climax to the threesome in a sense well it was happening on Saturday pay-per-view so they're charging people 24 pounds to watch this and you can't watch it it's on Dizone app you can't watch it unless you're a

member of Dizone which is another 20 pound a month $19.99 or whatever it's it's getting silly basically and I'm no offense this is no offense to America but Americans have been overcharged for boxing with the pay-per-view 70 from what I've seen like 60 70 dollars for a fight we've never paid that here a pay-per-view if it's for America quite often we just get it free on a streaming service that we pay for you know to stream all his adverts or whatever but lately I had this strangest feeling it was strange

a strange just feeling I just kind of fell asleep again then I had no idea what I'm talking about oh yeah Dillian White that's it so Dillian White is pulled out of the fight he's been pulled out for certain reasons which means Anthony Joshua has no opponent and they're not canceling the the event because they've sold loads of tickets so they're looking for a replacement but it needs to be someone that the general public can know about really I mean the whole point of this this boxing match was the rivalry

between Dillian White and Anthony Joshua and the fact that had already fought twice before one each you know of those fights this was kind of the decider at the tail end of both of their careers potentially I mean you know who knows Anthony Joshua might go on until his 40s I think he's about 35 now 33 34 35 something like that hmm yeah so they're looking for a replacement to be Anthony Joshua's opponent but nearly everybody that they're mentioning and it's only speculation but it is Tuesday and the fights on

Saturday night so there's not a lot of time to decide especially if that person lives in another country they're gonna want to come here and they're not gonna want to fight to you know a day later they need to acclimatize they need a couple of days to acclimatize to the country especially if they're coming from Mexico or America or Australia you know somewhere the time zone is very different if you're just coming over from France I think this is an hour hour difference time zone or Spain so that would be

interesting to see how that progresses I would if well I was hoping it doesn't look like it's gonna happen I was hoping they'd still keep the event on change it from pay-per-view to just part of the streaming thing you know you could just watch it because you're paying a 20 pound a month anyway so but then that would involve refunding people's money and who likes doing that eh?

Who likes doing that? I do! Me! Obviously! so yeah we'll see I am interested though just to just to find out who it is I mean I'd love if it was someone like I can up-and-coming if it was wilder that'd be brilliant that's so that's something I'd like to see or and they're talking about fighting in December do it now other than that I talk about Ergovich but he's a Southpaw and Anthony Joshua needs a bit of preparation to prepare you know what preparation means I'm saying it needs if you're gonna fight someone that's got a different style

it takes you know training for that I guess I don't know I'm not a professional boxer yeah it would be interesting I'd like to see someone like Joe Joyce fighting but I think Joe Joyce is caught up in his rematch in September with the Big Bang but I prefer to see him fight Joshua I prefer to see the Big Bang fight Joshua that would be just good just to see what tests for both of them Fabio Wardley is another one that I'd like to see and he's yeah why not give

him a chance he's one of my favorite heavyweight boxers Fabio he's also got a great name as well I mean Fabio what there's no better that's one of the best names ever in it what's your name my name's Bob what's your name my name's Terry what's your name my name's Steve what about you I am Fabio Fabio everybody Fabio it's just a fantastic name is it sparkles when you say it Fabio anyway I'm gonna go thank you very much thank you very much for listening thank you very much for being part of this little world of mine for a short period of time now remember to be kind to yourself just be kind lots of love bye bye bye bye bye bye bye obviously