#1005 Moody Old Git Let me bore you to sleep (Jason Newland) (15th May 2023)

Hello, welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name's Jason Newland and I'm bald today. I've shaved everything.

Not everything, but you know, I've had a shave and I'm holding my little boy. Look, who's that in my arms? Little Vinnie. You smell awful.

That's him, not me. Oh, look, can you see yourself in the camera? Can you see yourself in the camera? What he's looking for is something that he can grab, aren't you? Hey, just calm down. Calm down.

It's okay. So welcome. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

And my name's Jason Newland. My website is jasonnewland.com. So I've never done a video with this little boy. He's so wiggly.

Can't you just stay with daddy for a bit? He's so wiggly and wanting to... I think he likes me a little bit. He's getting used to me. But he's a strange one.

He is. I've only had him since Christmas, just before Christmas. And so he would have been... He was a year old at the end of February.

So he was 10 months old when I got him. So he hadn't had any experience with other dogs, really. As far as I know, he hadn't had any discipline.

Because he just did whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. He still does. I try and not tell him off, but I try and get him to behave.

And it's hard, because first of all, he's still a puppy, really. And secondly, he doesn't care what I say. He's not interested.

He just wants a treat, or he wants to go for a walk, or he wants to destroy something. There's my underwear on the floor, if you can see that. Red, green, whatever, on the floor.

He's destroyed about 25 pairs of underwear. I've only got now, I think, four pairs of underpants and two pairs of socks left. He's destroyed everything.

He's destroyed t-shirts. Even today, I've got this thing where you chuck a ball. You know, where you pick it up and you chuck it, like it grips the ball, and then you chuck it for the dog.

I got that for him today. Literally just bought it for him. And he played with it to start with, so I let him, I'll lift him up so you can see him.

I let him, the reason I've got it is, the reason I've got it, he's bored already. The reason I've got it is because last night, one of the dog walkers had one of those things and she was chucking it and he was running after it, picking it up and bringing it back to her and putting it down so she could pick it up again. So I thought, okay, I've chucked balls and he's chased the ball and then he doesn't give it back to me, but maybe he's up for doing that.

So I went and got one. I chucked it in the park. He brought it back eventually, he did let it go.

I chucked it again. The second time I chucked it, he ran after it again, grabbed it, and that was it. He wouldn't let it, he wouldn't give it back to me.

He was running circles around me. He just would not let me have the thing back. And in the end, I sat down on one of the benches and I just watched him.

I said, come on, we can't, it doesn't work this way, you know, you can't. I don't know, it just doesn't work like that. And he just looked at me like, I don't care, it's my ball.

As soon as it leaves your hand, it belongs to me. So I said, okay, what are you shaking for? What are you shaking? He's camera shy, he doesn't want to look at the camera. Why don't you look at the camera, look.

He wants to eat his bone, he wants to go out now, he wants to go and lie down, but he's not going to. So, the good thing about me holding on to him like that, is now he'll leave me alone. Because he's got free from me, because normally he pesters me when I do a podcast.

Now, I've got free, I've got away from him, and he's probably just going to play with his bones and stuff. Instead of hounding me with, all that stuff. So, I don't normally make video recordings, don't generally make any videos so much these days.

I'm starting to think that I might start doing that again. And part of the reason, part of the reason is, I kind of miss it a little bit. You know, making videos with just the audio and graphics and scenery of waterfalls and beaches and forests and curly images and swirling, hypnotic things is fine.

And I imagine preferable to look at my funny face. But it's not as much fun for me, I guess. And there's something a bit more personable, a bit more human with making a video, as well as doing the audio podcast.

So, I might be doing this a bit more often. The only, well, it's not the only problem, but one of the things that concerns me, first of all, is I'm drinking this chocolate pro milk, chocolate protein shake. And I look at this and I might have chocolate in my mouth.

But hey, but other than that, I'm thinking the backdrop is a bit rubbish, because all of my recording equipment is on this desk, this table. And it's not like a huge deal to move over to the other table. And that way, the backdrop would be my bookcase with my books, which is where I keep my books on the bookcase.

Because I find that's a good place to keep them. And that seems quite a nice place, thing to have it behind me. But at the same time, I mean, it's that bit right at the back, there's a bit of where the where my fingers point in.

There's soundproofing on the wall, but there's a bit of missing. That's where the television used to be. I used to have a television on the wall there.

And my chair used to be there. So now my sofa is there. And the television is there.

So it's the other side, but the TV's too big to be on that wall. But this is boring. See, if you can't see it, it's a little bit even more boring than normal.

Oh, thank you. I'll just imagine you're saying that my bald head looks amazing. Thanks.

Thank you very much. So yeah, I don't know, maybe I'm thinking about doing this because it's a bit more effortful. There's no it's probably not a word but it it's almost like I'm doing a bit more by making the video.

And as far as editing goes, it's probably just as in some ways probably easier than making the other videos because it is quite time consuming. But the videos I've been making for YouTube up till now, apart from the live ones I did a while back are not live but videos of me. You know, like this.

They're kind of older recordings, not old, but older. And I wanted to try and get all of them, as many of them done, all of them done, and then put them on there and then start uploading the newer ones, the newest recordings and get to the point where I mean, as it stands, I probably won't be releasing them as I do them. Because I'm so far ahead.

And I'm already, I think the 20th of June, already ahead, as far as YouTube videos scheduled to be released or to be, yeah, to be released on YouTube, and on my channel. And what is it the 15th of May today, so I'm already ahead there. And by the end of this week, I'll be into July probably.

Because I can do probably five, five, six, seven, eight a day videos, make out of the audios and it's the time it takes to process well, the actual making them isn't that complicated. Putting this together with this together, choosing this there, there, there all that. But then it's the the I forget the name of the word, but it's a processing that takes maybe an hour, two hours sometimes, and then uploading it to YouTube, which can take another hour or half an hour, hour, whatever.

So and I can't do anything else. Internet wise, or I can still use the internet, but it is taking up most of the juice of the internet for the uploading. Because these are usually a gigabyte, the process into about anything up to two to three gigabytes per video.

And these are only like, something about 40-50 minutes, the shorter ones take less. Blah, blah, blah. So if you're thinking, oh, it's very messy in the background.

Well, compared to how it was, this is like, really tidy. It was proper messy before. And having that little monkey in the background, destroying everything continuously.

It's quite hard to keep up with it. Because he'll take one thing, this, for example, and he'll create a piece of art made of about 15 different pieces, different parts, spread all over the floor, different shapes. You know, so basically, it's a case of damage control sometimes.

Another reason that the live videos I don't do so much, I haven't done so much is, because I do get interrupted, get people knock on the door. But I realized that if I'm also recording it on the microphone, so I'm recording the audio, video is being done with a camera, the microphone is recording the audio, so I'll sync them together. So if I do get someone knock on the door, I can just answer the door.

What I do is I clap my hands so I can kind of remember which point is which, and then come back and then clap my hands again to know that I've started recording again. And then I can just sync the both together and then cut them at the same time. So it's fine.

I've done it before. It's not that hard, really. I use the Adobe Suite to do that stuff.

And I guess with anything, the more you do it, the easier it is. Even complicated stuff. I mean, I'm no expert with editing at all.

I've got a bit better lately. But I'm using editing software to do it. I know the basics, although I have been editing videos since blimey, 2007.

So I have been doing it, just I was just not very good at it. So there you go. Now we know, now we know.

I'll tell you a good thing to use if you ever want to make images or you can make little videos. Canva. I'm not sponsored by Canva, by the way.

I'm not making any money out of them. But I use them. I'm actually got premium.

It's only like £10 a month or something. But you can do lots of things. There's lots of things that I don't do on there, which I'm going to be doing.

I'm going to start getting making some introductions for the videos, just to make things a bit nicer, you know, maybe. I don't know, maybe have the same introduction every time. So with me saying, only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

And just do that. So I've said it, it's done. No, no.

No. Because I've been saying the same thing for so long. So long.

It's so long. So long. And sometimes I don't even know if I've said it.

I know if I've said it when I just said it. But I mean, sometimes I'll be five minutes in I'm thinking, did I remember to say only listen when you can safely close your eyes? Did I remember? I don't know. So I met up with my dad today for lunch.

And I missed his birthday because my stepmom had COVID. So we couldn't have the party that we're going to have. But that's about 94 90 104, something like that.

And the thing is, and I didn't realize, well, I do, I do realize this, but it's a bit strange. I do. I've got mood disorder.

I've got bipolar, whatever. I've been diagnosed and twice in fact. So twice, how could you be diagnosed with bipolar twice? Well, the first time I ignored it, that's how and carried on regardless until I got ill.

And then I was diagnosed again. So yeah, I've seen multiple psychiatrists. I was also diagnosed with Oh, what was the other thing? irritable ankle syndrome? Oh, itchy.

No, I was diagnosed with Oh, yeah, forgetful forgetfulness. Oh, no, I was, I was, I didn't realize it was like a dual diagnosis. I was diagnosed with a personality disorder.

Emotionally unstable. And personality disorder with tendencies to flick people's ears. So yeah, it was.

So that's kind of where I'm with that. So but the thing is, one of the things that I have that happens, and I don't talk about bipolar very often, because this isn't a bipolar blog. This is, this is my Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

Where I just chat about stuff. But it's kind of relevant to me today, because I started having a go about, we were talking about, I'm going to say the thing, but it's a news item. It was something that's in the news.

And something that I do kind of feel quite strongly about. And it's something I've noticed about people. Anyone that mentions this thing, they always say the same thing.

It's almost like they're programmed to say the same sentence. And it, it does, it winds me up a little bit. Because it's almost like they're not able to think beyond that little.

Mate, I don't know. That's just what it seems like. Whatever that little thing is.

Oh, itchy back. And I was, I said, I shouldn't have said I said things I shouldn't have said. And I was a little bit hostile verbally.

I apologised. But I don't know where it came from. It's like suddenly, I was renting.

I wasn't shouting was in a public place. But I almost was shouting. Almost like like quietly shouting, whisper shouting, but not really shouting at but about that makes sense.

I wasn't shouting at I wasn't aiming it at them. I was just aiming it about the subject and about other people who were like them. No, just I don't know.

Kind of was a very, very short. But I felt bad. And I apologised to them.

I said, look, this is, I don't know. And then I thought about it. And when my dad went went to the toilet.

I spoke to my stepmom and I said, I think what it is, is I don't know what mood I'm in. Now I feel, you know, because I shouldn't be aware of what mood I'm in. But my mood and my mood when I'm around other people is not always the same thing.

I can feel like in a really good mood and then I see someone or someone knocks on the door and I'm not I don't want to speak to them. But I didn't feel I don't feel like in a bad mood. If that makes sense.

I might be quite happy perky, watching a movie or making a podcast or reading or doing some research. And I might be quite happy and content doing that. And then someone comes in, or a phone call or whatever, like, where did that come from? And normally, normally, I can plan ahead.

If I know I've got a meeting with someone, parents or whatever it might be, doctors or dentists or going to the shops if I get out, or if I know I have to see someone, I'm going to see them. I can kind of prepare myself generally. But today, for some reason, I wasn't prepared.

And I think part of the reason is because I've got no one to bounce off of. I don't mean literally bellied up, you know, belly and run up to someone and bouncing. But someone to gauge my level of moodiness, grumpiness, happiness, whatever it might be.

And, yeah, kind of, it bit me in the bum a little bit today. And I was a little bit shocked with myself. I was a little bit, a bit, oh, that's not good.

Because I don't know, they might have left and thought, oh, ain't going to bother with him anymore. It's possible. Because that's possibly how I would be.

Because I'm not, I'm not the most forgiving person sometimes. And I had my faults. I had my good points as well.

Somewhere. My feet are clean. Thanks to Vinnie.

He was licking my ears, wasn't he? He was licking my feet earlier. And then when he saw that dog last night, he was licking her, oh. He really doesn't care what he licks.

I mean, he reminds me when I was in my early 20s. Seriously, I didn't care. So, I'm thinking, I need to, you know, last, yesterday, I started writing in a journal.

Which is something that I used to do from the ages of, well, from the year 1989. All the way through till about 2012. How many years is that? 20 odd years.

Now, admittedly, I wasn't writing in it every day, full time, you know, every, for every day of that period. But there were times when I was writing every day. Month in, month out, year in, year out.

And then times when I'd have time off and then go back and do another one. And I had a pile, a huge, big old pile of pads. I get, you know, the A4 refill pads.

I had those. And sometimes they'd fall apart, so all the papers were all loose. Other times they would stay together really well.

And I destroyed them in 2012. Had a bit of a moment, an episode, you could say. And it was weird because I was almost blissed out doing it.

I was, I was triggered by something that had happened externally within the building I was living. There was a bit of a kerfuffle. And I listened to Bob Dylan.

I think it was, I don't know, I guess it was on a CD player or something. I was listening to Bob Dylan album, I think Blood on the Tracks and another one of his albums. And I spent about four or five hours destroying, because a lot of them, destroying these books, just ripping up, ripping, ripping and ripping them.

And my fingers were cut and everything, but I was doing that. And I think I had about eight, eight black bags, bin liners, ten bin liners full of paper at the end of it. So that's what I did.

And I enjoyed every moment of it, which is weird. You know, I admit, I just loved every second of it. But I do regret doing it now, because it would be quite nice to be able to look back upon the things that I used to talk about, the things I used to write about, including relationships, jobs that I've had, people, friends, experiences that I've had that perhaps I've forgotten about.

Just generally, you know, my life as a younger man. When I was, yeah, blimey, 18. I was 18 when I started writing my, my diaries or journals.

And I was 40, 41, 42, and I stopped. Yeah. Yeah, man.

So yeah, blimey. I had a similar thing happen as well. Three times, it's something about destroying stuff.

And I don't I try not to do it anymore. I used to do a lot, especially with the online stuff. I destroy, I delete everything, delete all the videos, delete all the podcasts, delete all the pages off a website, delete my Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, everything.

Based on how I was feeling, and then I come back and the next day think, Oh, hmm. And I try and reinstate what I could. A lot of the time, it was just a case of re uploading the videos, re uploading the podcasts.

Sometimes I could get the website back how it was before, because I've got servers, they save stuff. Other times, I lose everything. And I have to start from scratch.

And I've done that multiple times. Not so much lately. But I done it long, many times.

And sometimes just simply because I had a bad review, or someone had been rude about a video or pod an episode of one of my relaxation sessions. And saying, maybe I sound like a constipated scarecrow. You know, it's just like, that's a bit rude.

I mean, it might be true, but really? And someone else saying, you know, I like your hair, but I'm sure you'd be worse looking worse if you're bald. Like, didn't go down to well, 10 years ago, go down even worse now. So yeah, it's just, I've had some weird comments over the years.

Nice ones as well. I do like nice comments. I do.

But it was, it's been a few weird moments. One was when I deleted my YouTube channel. And this is back in 2014, I think.

And I, something stirred me to want to do that. I'm not sure. It was it was not a great time.

I was a little bit unwell at the time. And I went through the whole process, not deleting the pod, not deleting the videos, but absolutely, you know, deleting the channel, the whole thing. And to do that, you've got to really jump through some hoops.

YouTube said, Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure you can't go back? Are you sure you can't undo this? Are you sure? Well, I did it. And all I had to do is press one button, just like click Yes, to delete. And I dared myself to do it.

I dared myself. And at this time, things were going the best that had ever been on YouTube for me. And I was getting more views, more subscribers than I've ever had since 2007.

So what's that seven years, pretty much it took me to get to the point where I was at. I weren't like, do brilliant by other people's standards, but by my standards, I was doing okay. And I dared myself, dared myself to delete it.

And I did click the button, delete it. And the YouTube channel, the thing that I devoted seven years of my life to, I mean, it sounds a bit dramatic, seven years of your life. I was doing other things as well, you know, I did as a university and stuff.

But even when I was doing a degree in counselling, even when I was working full time, even when I had relationships, and I was doing other things, I was still my passion, my thing that I was most interested in was this, doing videos and podcasts and stuff like that. Making recordings, trying in my own little way to make a difference. And I regretted deleting the channel.

It was gone, tried to get it back, couldn't get it back, it was gone. I did have the video still on my hard drive. So I didn't delete, didn't lose all of my videos.

Plus, some YouTube channels did have my videos on as well, people have copied them and put them up. But after that, I really lost interest in YouTube. Because I'd kind of destroyed what I had, for no reason other than just my mood.

And the thing is, when I started doing YouTube, when I started doing hypnosis videos on YouTube, I was one of the first people to do it. I'm not saying I was the first, but I was one of the first. There weren't many of us, Edini and a few others that were doing it, and quite a few that were way, way more successful than I ever was.

And quite a few that started many years after me, that were way more successful than I was. So I was nowhere near successful. Compared to the others, necessarily.

But I was a known quantity, kind of, in the hypnosis there of YouTube. And when I started off doing videos on MySpace in 2006, so I didn't, I didn't even know YouTube existed to 2007. And I was doing videos and podcasts, or videos and audios, uploading those to MySpace before Facebook, before I discovered Facebook.

And then I moved over there, and MySpace was good. It was very good. A lot of, it was a very positive place, I found, very, very positive.

And people telling me that they liked my videos, they liked my audios, I should do more. And it was nice. It was a really good, positive, supportive kind of network, even though I didn't know anyone else that was doing hypnosis on there.

I was the only one that I knew of. I'm sure there was others, but only one that I knew of. And on YouTube, I didn't even know that anybody else was doing YouTube videos, on hypnosis videos, like relaxation, sleep, pain relief, whatever.

I didn't know it. I didn't research either. I just assumed that I was the only one doing it.

Not like, Oh, aren't I great? I'm the only body doing this. I'm a hero, everybody. I don't mean it like that.

Just, I just didn't think about it. I didn't really think that anyone else was doing it, or anyone would want to do it, or that anyone would even want to listen or watch the videos. I was right about my videos, no one wanted to watch them, but hypnosis videos were popular.

But there was only a few of us doing it. There's not a huge amount now, really. I did count them once.

This is quite a few YouTube channels for hypnosis, where they might have done a couple of videos and then stopped. Or there's some YouTube channels where they might have done lots of videos, lots of hypnosis videos, become really popular and got really high subscribers, and then kind of stopped, or just don't do much anymore online, on YouTube anyway. There's some people that do ASMR videos, and they might do the odd hypnosis one, among the tapping and tapping.

Things like that. ASMR stuff. I'm not mocking ASMR because I make ASMR whisper videos.

Just in case you think, he's making fun of the ASMR fraternity, paternity group. I'm not. I'm not.

I used to, I was doing ASMR before I even knew what ASMR was. I did. I used to do videos, recordings, and I'd end up talking, and then getting softer and softer.

Reminds me a lot of my lovemaking. But then I'd get quieter and start whispering at the end of the recording, and like relaxing. One, two, nine, 32.

Go to sleep now. Go to sleep. And just whispering gently.

Didn't know what ASMR was. And in 2010, 2011 maybe, a couple of people actually said, why don't you do an ASMR video? Because I had done a whisper hypnosis session. And they said, you should do a whisper.

Another whisper one. Because it's ASMR. I said, what's ASMR? Well, I said that to myself.

So I checked it out, and there was a whole community of people doing it. And it's still popular now. Now, I played around with it.

You know, I tugged it for all it was worth. You know, I tried different things. I even used to film, not film myself, but record myself audio.

Sometimes film myself unpacking my shopping, just to have that effect of doing that kind of stuff. Or walking around a field, doing a recording whilst crunching a carrier bag, you know, things like that. Plastic carrier bag.

Talking about carrier bags. I had this meal today. And first of all, a bit of advice.

Don't offer to pay until you know how much it's going to be. It was way more than I thought it was going to be. I'm so used to just, I don't eat out hardly ever.

I mean, literally, yes, August was the last time I ate out. And that was, so, but this, no, it's not, no, December. Oh, yeah, December.

But I had vinegar and tomato sauce sachets. Not in plastic. Paper.

And they were very, very difficult to open. Very, very, very, very difficult. And I'm not saying that every single time I've gone to open a tomato ketchup sachet, or a vinegar sachet, or something like that, that I've always been successful first time.

I'm not going to, no, I can't put, not going to pretend that I hold any world records for that. However, I've never normally found it to be a huge chore, a large hurdle to overcome in order to eat my food. I don't know how it, you know, I know the reasoning behind this stuff, you know, to not have plastic and that.

And if it's something that you're passionate about, that's your business. Cardboard straws don't work. Yeah, but you've got to think about... Cardboard straws don't work.

But what about the dolphins? No, stop, let me just stop you there. Cardboard straws, okay. Cardboard straws don't work.

Yeah, but it's been hotter in Thailand, it's never been in the entire history of the world, ever, ever, ever, ever. No, no, no, let me, let me go back. Okay, let's, let's look at it a different way.

Cardboard, yeah, cardboard and and liquid. Not a marriage. It's not a marriage.

You know, it's not a good, good combination. Cardboard and liquid. I just, I remember when years ago, I had my very first, because cardboard, they get soggy.

That's what I'm trying to say. They get soggy, especially at the bottom. I mean, we shouldn't be chewing on them.

I'm not. Okay, I do chew on them. But the thing I miss is I like the plastic ones, because you stick them in between your teeth and get the food out if there's anything stuck.

So the first time I had a McDonald's, I was in London. And I wasn't living in London at the time. I was born in London.

And I went back to London as soon as I let, well, as soon as I was able to. So I went back to London when I was 18. And then I came back when I was 21.

I came back, moved away from London when I was 21. 21? 31. Not 21.

Blimey. Yeah, I was there for three years. So 18 to 31, roughly.

Give or take 10 or 20 years. So I was on a trip. It was a day trip to London from, it was a school trip.

And so we was in a coach. It's a good way to get around. And we basically were the RE, Religious Education class.

And I was looking forward to it because first of all, I was getting away. I was going to London. That was exciting.

And did I mention I was born in London? Yeah, North London. I lived in East London for a long, you know, quite a bit of time, part of my adult life. But I was born in North London.

I don't remember it. I left when I was about two and a half. I was definitely born there.

I lived there. It's my birth certificate. You can't, you can't.

What is it? Monday today. It's weird. I just forgot what day it was.

Is it Tuesday, Monday or Tuesday? Monday. It's not the normal day. I've been out.

I've actually gone out and done something. And it feels weird. It's like, oh, I hope he leaves me alone.

I hope he just goes to sleep. You know what he does? He stares at me. He just sits down and stares right at me.

You see him in the background. Could you see him before? I wasn't taking any notice. What I want to try and do is set the camera up.

So I put a chair or something next to me. So he sits in a chair and you can kind of see him just chilling out. That'd be good.

That'd be cool. Vinnie? No. You don't get on there.

He wants to get onto the desk. And this is where all the electrical equipment is. And I really don't want him getting on it.

Because the worst or the least harmful thing that will happen is he'll move stuff around and, you know, the volume will go up or down or whatever. Press a button. But on a worse side, he might do a wee all over everything.

Not that he normally does wee-wees everywhere. But, you know, he's staring at me from the corner of my eye. I can see he's staring right at me.

Right at me. So, yeah, I was on this trip, this field trip, basically. And we were visiting religious places in London.

So we went to, you can hear him moaning now, we went to a Buddhist, the London Buddhist Centre. We went to the Catholic Church, we went to a Sikh place, Hindu place and a mosque. Here in the background.

What? The thing is, if I do that, he'll start barking. What can I give him? Not just to keep him quiet. I'll give him this.

He might like this. Do you want that? What's that? What's that? Do you want it? Do you want it? No? Oh, you do? Oh, you don't? You do? You don't? You do? No? Okay. I'll tell you what, I'll give him this.

It's just an empty box, but he'll be happy. Keep him happy for a bit. There you go.

He loves boxes. It's weird. Anything that he can... He's a thief, basically.

He likes to try and find things that he's not supposed to have. I saw him. He was... What was he doing? I had something on the table the other day, Saturday night.

I think it was pizza or something. And I kept going out and doing stuff outside. So I was in the bathroom, I was in the bedroom, in the kitchen.

And I put my head around, and every time I looked, this box had moved a little bit closer to the edge. And I go out and do something, I come back. And he was jumping off the settee, or he just stood on the settee looking at me, like whistling, you know, like it had nothing to do with him.

And the box was moving further and further to the edge of the table. He's a little crafty little thief. It's funny though.

So I was in London, and I was looking at these different places, these different religious places, places of worship. And during our lunchtime, we went to McDonald's. Now, I had never been to McDonald's before.

Never been. He's destroying the box now. Never been to McDonald's.

I knew what it was. I mean, I'd seen it on TV and stuff. I probably saw adverts as well.

I think in them days, they used to show the American adverts, the McDonald's ad for America. With it, you know, the clown. And it was like going to Disneyland for me.

It really was amazing. Really, it gets to make so much noise. I'm sorry for those of you if it's too noisy.

Hopefully, it's not the most relaxing sound. He's literally ripping a box to bits. I hope the microphone doesn't pick up too much of this.

I'll try during the gaps, when I'm not saying anything, I'll try and just reduce that sound a little bit. Oh, he's going to get a hammer out in a minute and start get some pneumatic drill out or something. Chainsaw, make any more noise, could you? So, I was in McDonald's.

Now, I didn't take any money with me. I didn't know I needed any. I just didn't take anything.

I don't know why. I would have had money back then because I had jobs and stuff. And at the time, I was doing karate.

So, I was very excited about the Buddhist Center because for me, part of martial arts was meditating. Part of the whole thing because of Kung Fu, the TV show. And that's kind of what I had in my head.

So, I just asked him to keep quiet, but now he's staring at me again. It's probably time for me to go because he really is going to just keep making noise. My fault for giving him the box.

I thought it would distract him, which is true, it did. But not in a way that I was hoping, you know. I don't know what I thought he was going to cuddle it or something, maybe whisper into its ear poetry.

I don't know, but it just didn't work out. Oh, he's left it now. So, I had my first milkshake or they used to call them thick shakes back then.

And it was delightful. It was one of my favorite things I've ever had in my life. Yeah, I mean at the time.

And it was phenomenal. I couldn't afford a burger because I had no money. I think a friend of mine paid for the milkshake, the thick shake.

And it was either strawberry or banana. Not 100% sure which one, but it was a marmite chocolate or vanilla. I think it was.

Knowing myself, I'm pretty sure I'd have gone with banana or strawberry. Probably banana. I like banana.

Why are you hassling me, man? He's now staring at me. What's going on? Come on, come on. You want to cuddle? I'll give you my attention.

I'll give you my attention. What is it you want? What is it you want? What is it? What is it? Huh? You want what? What is it, lassie? What is it? What have you seen, lassie? Who's trapped? What's trapped in the barn? Who? A penguin? What? How long? He's going to bark in a second. This is when he normally starts barking.

Hey, come on, baby. So I'm going to go. But yeah, it was the first milkshake, my first McDonald's adventure.

And it was a bit old McDonald's as well. It was in London. In fact, I think I've been there since because I went to one.

And now I think about it, they kind of, I can put them both over each other. I was like, that was the same McDonald's. Probably wasn't.

What? What do you want? What? I mean, I imagine there's quite a few McDonald's in London. Whiny. That's why I want to make a record and I generally have to put him into the bedroom.

I give him a bone thing to chew on. And that's normally keeps him occupied for at least half an hour, sometimes a whole time. I can't take her out.

We've literally just been out. So you can't be wanting the toilet. You've already been out.

You're looking like this. I don't know what you want. Come here.

Come on, come on. You want me to chase you around? Well, I can't do that, can I? Can you not see I'm busy? Can you not see I'm busy? No? You can be part of this if you want. He won't let me grab him.

I don't know why I'm grabbing him, but what I need to do is hold him and then get his collar because he just moves so quick. And once he got his collar, I can pick him up. Not rough, just not rough, rough, rough.

I mean, it sounds like he does sell me like, Daddy, can you please stop being so rough? Rough. Right, here we go. I got a little bugger.

I got him. I got him. What are you doing? What are you doing? Hey, look.

He knows the camera is there, but he won't look at it. He won't look at the camera. Will you look at the camera? Look.

Really? Look. Look at the camera. Pointless.

I'm going to go. Thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself.

You deserve to be happy. Lots of love. Bye.